Sash & Soul
Welcome to the "Fearlessly Authentic: Sash & Soul Podcast," the show that goes beyond the stage to prioritize mindset, wellbeing, and triumphs in the pageant journey. Each episode explores the power of embracing authenticity, sharing mindset tips, self-care strategies, and inspiring success stories to help you navigate the pageant world with confidence and resilience.
Sash & Soul
#25 Why Would I Need a Coach?
There's one question we hear all too often in the pageant world: "Why would I need a coach?" Especially when you've already competed a few times, have some experience, and liked the outcome.
In this episode, we dissect the essential components of an effective coaching program. Learn how a good coach acts as a GPS, helping you navigate challenges efficiently and stay on track toward your goals. We also address common misconceptions new participants may have and emphasize the importance of choosing a coach who offers more than just motivational speeches but provides insight and practical, lifelong tools. Listen in to see how to evaluate a coach's credentials and teaching skills to ensure they fit your specific needs and budget.
We'll answer three main questions:
- What does a coach do?
- Why would I need a coach?
- How do I found a coach that works for me?
Pageantry is a sport, and like any sport, you invest in your success to be best prepared for a competition. We end by discussing the emotional and financial aspects of investing in a coaching program. Understand why it's essential to view coaching as an investment in personal growth and how coaches can help you seek sponsorships to support your pageant journey.
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Socials: @sashandsoul | @fearlesslyauthenticcoach | @raeannajohnson
Websites: www.fearlesslyauthentic.com | www.sashandsoul.com
Email: info@fearlesslyauthenticcoach.com
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If you’re looking for more than just surface-level prep—and you’re ready to prepare with strategy, support, and confidence that actually lasts—I’d love to be part of your process.
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Welcome to the Fearlessly Authentic Sash and Soul podcast, the show that goes beyond the stage, prioritizing a healthy mindset, overall well-being and triumphs in the pageant journey.
Speaker 2:In each episode, we dive into the transformative power of embracing authenticity fearlessly From mindset mastery and self-care strategies to success stories that inspire. This podcast is your go-to guide for navigating the pageant world with confidence and resilience. Join us as we embark on a journey of self-discovery, empowerment and celebrate the stories of those who fearlessly embraced their authenticity on the path to pageant success. I'm Lila Sherry and I'm Rihanna Johnson.
Speaker 1:Welcome to Sash and Soul. Hi, hey, hey guys, welcome back.
Speaker 3:We're just chilling, hanging out, hanging out. Happy Friday to you. Tuesday for us. How was your weekend, rih? Happy Friday to you, tuesday for us.
Speaker 1:How was your weekend, rae? Oh, I was a bit of a hermit this weekend. I really isolated in my house and I feel bad because I have a girlfriend that was moving into a new apartment and some friends that came in from out of town that were helping her get organized, and I had said that I would come over and help because my husband was out of town. But I actually just really hunkered down and spent time by myself, being productive, actually, like I shampooed my carpets, I did some deep cleaning, yeah, like I checked a lot of things off the list.
Speaker 1:It was a lot of busy, mindless work just to I don't know. I just I feel like like I was just telling Lila this. I just feel like my mind is a jumbled mess right now. I've got a lot of things on my list of stressors going on in my world and I'm just the type of person that I need to feel like I am understood and that I understand myself, and right now I just don't really understand all the thoughts that are going through my head and the emotions that I'm feeling. So I'm just like it was a good weekend of just being in my own feels and being productive and trying to find that balance of also taking time to just chill out on the couch and binge, watch friends and play on my phone and yeah, hear your own thoughts a little bit Sometimes.
Speaker 3:Life doesn't give us time to listen to ourselves sometimes, and I've noticed that. So absolutely.
Speaker 1:How was?
Speaker 3:your weekend. It was great. We took a trip to Chicago for our three-year anniversary. It was good. It was like all of the quintessential Chicago things, because we're gonna be moving soon, so it was nice to just be a tourist in a city that we've been to a lot and Logan lived there for almost three years and so it was just kind of like we're going to be a fake tourist. But there were some things too that Logan had been there forever for and had never done. So we did the Willis Tower Logan had never been in there. The Field Museum, which was actually really fun. So, yeah, just quintessential Chicago stuff. We had a nice hotel pool time, hot tub time. It was a good trip.
Speaker 1:Yay, a little bit of romance, a little bit of playing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, beautiful. Did you do a lot of shopping? I didn't. We probably had the opportunity to, but, honestly, because we're moving, I'm not letting myself buy anything, mostly just the experience, things which was good.
Speaker 1:So you just got done with NAMM, with Stonkin a couple of weeks ago, and you and I had a chance to debrief your experience because you took some time off last week, which I think was really great. I'm really proud of you for that Y'all. I'm going to just plug taking time off to just reset and recoup. Like Lila really hadn't done that since, you know, giving up her title of Miss Wisconsin and that was a big push last week was like you don't have anything on your calendar. You're just getting done with this big competition with your clients, like take some time.
Speaker 1:So we finally had a chance to debrief yesterday, which is leading into the topic that we want to talk about today, which is really exploring coaching programs for yourselves and whether or not you need a coach, what a coach does and how to find the coaching program that fits you. So we want to start talking about like what does a coach do? And I want to give Lila an opportunity to. I want you to share what your experience was like with your clients at NAMM a couple of weeks ago and kind of some of the aha moments that you had as a coach and what you were able to really like focus on and support them with.
Speaker 3:Oh, a coach? Okay, in a really simplified way, we're your biggest cheerleaders, but not just in the sense of like we're going to cheer the loudest for you in the audience and always give you pep talks, but cheerleader in the sense that we're going to guide you and be be there for you way that, say, a mom or a sister or a friend can't be, because there's some level of mentorship and also lived experiences through pageantry or just through whatever experiences you're coaching on, that provide a sense of value and a different perspective to somebody that's going through it currently. I think, in a nutshell, that's how I would describe a coach, but obviously everybody has different coaching styles, right, and people coach on many different things. I think some of the moments over NAM weekend where I just realized these girls I had a moment with a mom who was thinking or who was asking me like, do you think she's able to do this? Like, do you think she's able to hit XYZ and her goals, and I said to her I said I think my clients are capable of anything. Yes, there's a level of being a good coach, but it's all about what you put into it and, essentially, what you decide to take out of it too, because I could say on paper the exact same thing to one client and then another client and they're gonna take that first client is gonna take it completely differently or use it completely differently than the second client might be. So a coach is there for you to guide you and to honestly help you make decisions, sometimes help you navigate where to go next. What you should be focusing on is a big one when it comes to my clients.
Speaker 3:I had so many conversations again with moms really this past weekend about like, okay, will other moms say that what I wear to the final show is going to be determined?
Speaker 3:And I'm like what you wear in the audience has nothing to do with how your daughter presents on stage. And I was like, yes, I hope you feel good about what you're wearing and I hope you feel good about the pictures when you're done and it's a fun event. And like, yes, get dressed up if you want, but the fact that there are moms out there that think that the way that they dress or the way that their family dresses has something to do with the outcome is so nuts to me. So things like that where, when you're a newbie, especially to the pageant world, or if you're new to a certain system in the pageant world, little things like that that you kind of just hear around through the grapevine that really just aren't true, don't matter, and you putting your focus there just kind of wastes a lot of time and energy. A coach can also really help with just streamlining the process. I felt like I had another point, but that was already pretty long-winded. What would you add to that?
Speaker 1:Well, the word that I wrote down as you were talking was objectivity. A good coach is going to provide objectivity for you when you have like your inner circle going to provide objectivity for you when you have like your inner circle. We talk about your circle of support your family, friends, maybe a director, different volunteers within the organization that you represent. It's harder when they're closer to you emotionally to have that objectivity. So when Lila's talking about having you know as a coach, having lived experience and being able to look from the outside, looking in, we can remove the emotion from it and help you problem solve and focus on the things that you control. When you can do that, when you can have someone that's helping guide you on emotionally, then you can make a lot more thoughtful decisions about the task at hand, the things you're wearing, the way you're performing, how you talk about yourself, how you feel about yourself, kind of getting rid of the noise. And when you get rid of the noise, sometimes we call it the crap in the corner. When you get rid of that, you can actually enjoy the experience a lot more too. So coaches are going to do a lot of different things because there are different types of coaches. So we're going to do a lot of different things because there are different types of coaches, so we're going to break that down.
Speaker 1:But something to be aware of in terms of what coaches do is that a good coach should be able to help you stay focused on the things that you need to be focused on, the things that actually matter, and help deter you away from focusing on the things that are outside of your control and outside of the realm, the things that are outside of your control and outside of the realm of things that are actually going to help you achieve your goals.
Speaker 1:So, lila and I like to talk about within, fearlessly Authentic. We, as coaches, look at us as your GPS. Objectively, we're going to help steer you away from the roadblocks and the road closures and we're going to help you get on the fastest route to your destination, and we're not going to worry about, like, all the yuckiness in between. We're just going to keep rerouting and we're going to keep you on track. So, to me, that's what a good coach is, no matter what focus area they are looking at. So, that being said, let's talk about, like, if we're talking about what a coach does, we got to talk about the different types of coaches, especially within the world of pageantry.
Speaker 3:Yeah, First thing that comes to mind, especially in pageantry, is walking. A lot of coaches do walking prep, more of a modeling background. If you're honestly any competition, this would be helpful pageantry wise, because it's always kind of a part of it. But we have communication, interview coaches, which is half of what we do basically, and those are going to be the ones that help you with public speaking, help you with thought organization, how to not how to answer questions, but there's kind of an art to communication. There is an art to communication and interview is a beast in and of itself. So there's that.
Speaker 3:And then I think the third obviously we're going to talk about is mindset, and I've noticed a lot of coaches previously say 10 years ago, when I was looking at coaching options when I had started not many of them were talking about mindset, if at all, and it's kind of grown into almost a pillar in a lot of coaches coaching, which I think is interesting. That's also another type of coaching. And then you have, like, your personal trainers, your wardrobe consultants, hair and makeup. I mean those aren't coaches, but that could be part of your prep team. That's what I can think of. Yeah, Anything. I missed?
Speaker 1:I don't think so. I want to know your opinion on this, lila, because as we're talking about the different types of coaches and I'm thinking about the massive coaching programs, the pageant coaching companies that promote all of these different things, that have the walking coaches, the styling coaches, the mindset coaches, the interview coaches, the health and fitness coaches, like all the things under the sun and then you've got, like, the individual coaches out there that also claim to do all of the above, and I guess I'm just wondering, like, how do you feel about those types of programs? Claim to do it all, and what would your advice be to somebody if they were looking into coaching for themselves?
Speaker 3:I never would want to say that somebody that promotes all of these things should or shouldn't be right. If that's something that you can and will offer to your clients, by all means right. That's not my place to say that you should or shouldn't. I think, as a client, you look at their credentials, you look at what they've done in the past, and not just what they've done through coaching, but what they've experienced and what they've went through as a person and what they've done in the past. I think that if somebody has a really good interview, has a really good onstage question and can walk like nobody's business and you want to learn all three of those things from them, by all means right. As a client, you're allowed to ask your coach for whatever you might need, and if they can't offer that, okay, then maybe go somewhere else. Branding wise, business wise.
Speaker 3:I think that can be a little bit different when it comes to messaging and marketing for your audience.
Speaker 3:It all kind of just depends too, because I know that there are coaches out there that are, I'll be honest, sponsors of a lot of big organizations that I've seen over and over that tend to coach 20, 30 girls at a time for the same competition who've never really done that competition or a competition themselves before, and so that's why I say look at their credentials right, like I would. I would think of at least a few title holders or past title holders or people in the pageant industry that are powerhouses in all of these different aspects. And if they're going to tell me all of their secrets and all of these different aspects, like why wouldn't I take it? So I don't know if that answers your question. I think it comes down to the person and what they have to offer, and then obviously you as a client and what you need, and my hope is that if you're working with a coach, they will do their best to provide you with whatever you're needing to the best of their ability.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely I agree with all of that. I think there are coaches and programs out there that have dedicated their lives, have a mission to be at the top of the totem pole when it comes to what they provide for their clients in pageantry. So, yeah, I think it's just a matter of really, like Lila said, looking at the credentials and determining what is going to be the best fit for you. And we're going to dive into like, how to choose a coach and do you need a coach here coming up. But I do want to talk. I want to give a little bit of time to talking about specifically Fearlessly Authentic and what I have developed this program based off of the pillars of Fearlessly Authentic. I know we've talked about it on the show before, but want to revisit that and have Lila have a chance to talk about what she gained from going through Fearlessly Authentic and now what she's bringing to the table as a coach too. So the three pillars of Fearlessly Authentic are mindset first. Always, mindset is 80% of your success. Next is communication. I actually launched Fearlessly Authentic to be a communication coach but quickly realized how much mindset plays a role and that I needed to kind of shift and make sure that my mindset was really a foundational perspective that I coach on. And then the third thing is service. What are you doing within your communities? How are you bringing your skills and your tools to the table to make a difference in um as a title holder and in service? So, uh, mindset is hugely important in fearlessly authentic. At. Lila mentioned that it's kind of becoming a buzzword a little bit and I'm very, very aware of that. I've been seeing that too. I don't think it's a bad thing, but I would throw caution out there about that.
Speaker 1:If you're looking for a coach and you know that you've got some struggles with comparison, struggles with limiting beliefs, with feeling self-conscious, with not believing in yourself, with fear of failure, fear of success the list goes on of all the mindset issues that we struggle with as human beings. Not everyone really truly understands the practices and knows how to teach those practices to people, and not everyone is actually practicing those things themselves. And not everyone is actually practicing those things themselves and I can only speak for myself. In this program of Fearlessly Authentic is like I hate, like that I learn through my own research, that I'm learning through trial and error, and I am pouring those into the curriculum within Fearlessly Authentic. So when you are looking for a coach to help you specifically with mindset, please ask about their curriculum. Please ask about do you actually have practices and skills that you provide to me as your client that are going to help me grow and succeed, that I can take away from this program and use for the rest of my life? Because that is truly one of my goals within Fearlessly Authentic is to provide those practical solutions.
Speaker 1:Mindset work does not look like me just telling you how awesome you are. It does not look like me just telling you how awesome you are. It does not look like me just lecturing you over and over again not to compare yourself to others. Mindset is not a do this, don't do that type of practice. There are actual behavioral, developmental things, ways to change the way that you're thinking on a regular basis. It's your habits of thought. That's what we're working on in terms of mindset work. So I really wanted to plug that.
Speaker 1:Obviously, I'm really passionate about this because I could just see other programs with quote unquote mindset work doing more harm than good, and that terrifies me. One of my biggest reasons for launching the mindset aspect of my work was because of how many clients come to me and because of my own experience of women in the pageant industry struggling so deeply with mental health issues and with suicide. That's so scary to me and someone can do a lot more harm than good to someone that's struggling severely with any kind of mental health and just telling them to think differently Don't think that way. Think that way, that does a lot more harm than good. And so my why is to really try and change the pageant industry and the coaching within pageant industry to be more supportive and empowering in like Lila said before and I loved it seeing all of my clients as capable and providing the tools that I know they can use to grow and empower themselves. That's true empowerment to me.
Speaker 3:I agree. I think it's important to acknowledge, like you said, mindset is not just a pep talk, it's also not therapy. It not going to sit here and just keep telling you that you're great, awesome and amazing. It really is tangible tools and tasks really that you take away, that ultimately, like you said, build a different way of thinking, and it's really cool when you actively see that change in people's thought processes going through whatever life or competition that it is.
Speaker 1:I love when my clients are like I heard your voice in my head when I was thinking about X, y and Z and like I instantly was like nope, I got to think this way instead, and like I love that and I want to say it's popped into my head If you're looking to pay someone to just like tell you how awesome you are, don't do that. Yeah, like your mom can do that for you.
Speaker 3:Your best friend.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like, don't pay someone to do that for you. That is such a waste of money. If you're going to pay someone we talked about it in the money mindset episode Look at the exchange of value. What value are you receiving in exchange for the money that you are paying? Yep, and if that's something that you can use for the rest of your life, that's really going to help you achieve some of these larger goals in your own self-development. That is valuable. That's worth the investment, for sure.
Speaker 3:And yes, I agree, if somebody is telling you thought processes to use, please look at the individual and see if you resonate with them and enjoy their presence in a way, because you I mean who you learn from is half of the content, to be honest. So, yes again, do your research, scope people out Do you know what? Do consultations and see if you resonate with them. It's fine, and you never really know until you do talk with them. So don't be afraid to do that either. Like we, we also know that when we sit down and talk with a client, we're not. We also know that it may not be a good fit. You know that's part of the process. You do that with with anything in life.
Speaker 1:So weeks ago, and she was nervous to tell me that she had been doing some consults with other coaches, she thought that I was going to be really upset with her and I was like no, I keep telling all of you guys in Fearlessly Authentic like shop around, stop paying me if I'm not working for you anymore. Like, don't waste your time, don't waste my time, don't waste your money, don't waste your energy. Like find the person that fits best for you. And I think that level of integrity is something that you should also be looking for in a coach. If they're just trying to sell you because you're a number to them, that's a huge red flag.
Speaker 3:How do you tell if a coach is trying to sell you as just a number?
Speaker 1:Oh, because they keep pushing, even when you've told them things like I really I can't, that's way out of my budget. And they'll say things to you like you know, well, I do have this partnership with with a company where, where you can get a loan to cover it. Or they'll tell you, like, well, I took out credit cards to cover my, my coaching expenses, so, like you could do that too, like if you're going to go into debt, especially for pageantry. So I had a coach talk to me about financing for the coaching program, but it was a little different, because I was hiring her to help me build my business and therefore she would be helping me gain a bigger income so that I could afford to pay for that.
Speaker 1:Pageants are not the same. This is an investment in yourself and your own personal growth and development and to help you reach a goal of winning a competition. If that is your goal, you're not going to be making a bunch of money to then be able to pay off the debt that you might be incurring to pay for these coaches. So don't do that. And if a coach like the thing that I will say to my potential clients when I'm on a consult, because it's true, because I've helped clients do this before is like if you're looking at your budget and you're kind of struggling, like I don't really want any of my clients to have to pay out of their own pocket for anything that they're doing in pageant, there is a reason that we find sponsorships and we find donors and that we get support from people because they in the pageant world if people understand like they're helping you make a difference in your community, they're helping you gain scholarship money so that you can build a future for yourself and do more in the community, like they're investing in you and your development and support. So a lot of things that we talk about in Freellessly Authentic is like okay, how do we develop relationships with sponsors and donors, not only for you personally, although that's really important but like also because it's part of the job as a title holder is to build relationships and report and bring on new donors and new sponsors for the program. So that's just kind of a part of the job, so we talk about that.
Speaker 1:But if anyone is pushing you to go into debt for coaching, that's really problematic and they should have various different levels that they're offering in terms of what you can invest in for their program. That would make sense within your budget. Also, let's say I'm just going to throw this out there. This is for us and for all the coaches out there. I want potential clients to hear If you truly do not have any money to pay for a coach, it's okay that you don't sign up for a consult. Yeah, we have free resources. Listen to the podcast, download Like. There's plenty of free resources out there. You're not going to get coaching in a consult.
Speaker 3:Yeah, what is a consult? A consult is not a 30 minute free call. We don't even know you yet. We're just free consults. We don't charge for our consultations. No, no, no, no. And by free call I say call as in. Okay, that didn't make sense. It's not a free training session, that's what I would say. It is a free call so that you actually have time and space to get to know us and what we have to offer too.
Speaker 3:Because I've also gotten messages of, just straight up, what's your price and how much can I essentially purchase this for? And I'm like well, let me explain, because there's differences in what coaches have to offer. It's not just like I'm going to be honest. Okay, let's say it's $100 per session, which is kind of it's industry average. And you go to one coach and I'm thinking of's industry average and you go to one coach and I'm thinking of coaches. Right now, If you go to one coach and they're like here's what I have to offer for $100. That $100 that you might get from that coach, $100 looks different in what you're getting from different coaches. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:So when people come to me and they're just straight up like how much, what are the rates, can I afford you? And I'm like, well, what are you getting out of it and what do you need out of it and why are you doing this and what are your goals? And so that's where we get to talk, that's what we get to talk about in those free consults and those free calls. And, like you said, it's also really difficult to promote the flexibility of what we might be able to offer on just a website or on just in a text message or whatever it is, because what somebody might need might look different from somebody else. You know, whether that's budget or whatever it is, and I like to try and be flexible with people and, like you said, having those tiers of what we can offer in addition is also important. So please don't just text a coach like what are your rates?
Speaker 1:So if one-stop shop is a big deal for you and you go to a website and you see that this coaching program is a one-stop shop for all these different types of areas that you are looking to get coached on, maybe you're brand new and you literally have no idea what you're doing. You need to like know it all. That's fine, but also understand that you're going to pay for that. It's more expensive because you're covering all these different areas. However, if you feel like you're pretty solid in different areas or you feel like you've got pretty good support in the walking in the wardrobe, in the hair and makeup Like Lila was like this when she came to me she was like I've got this, check, check, check, check, check, check check off my list Like good on those areas. What I know I need is help with feeling more like myself in interview, like overcoming some of these mindset glitches that I'm experiencing, but just like feeling like I can do this and truly believing in myself and I'm like great, let's dive in. Great, let's dive in, and that's what she was investing in. I wasn't giving her a bunch of fluff of all these other things because she didn't need it. Right, if that's what she needed.
Speaker 1:So I think that's another thing too, like when you're looking for a coach, like what is it like? Do assess what your needs are, and if you want to do a consult just to figure out what your needs are because you're not, that is another great reason to have a consult. That is definitely the value that we provide in consult. We're not going to coach you, but we will help you see the areas that you really need to be focusing on in order to succeed, because we're going to do an analysis of your past experiences where you're at right here now and today and what your goals are in the future, what you already know you struggle with and need to improve on. We're going to uncover a lot of that stuff in the consult and if you're not getting that in a consult with any other coach or coaching program, I would really question if that's a good program for you, because a coach needs to be able to look at their client and see where what they need to work on.
Speaker 1:Again, if we're the GPS, you tell me your goals, but I'm going to see the route that we need to take. I'm going to see the twists and turns that we got to take. I'm going to see the pit stops that we need to take to refuel. That's my job, and so if you're not getting that in a consult and they're just like so, tell me about yourself. Okay, this is my program, this is the cost, and, oh, make sure that you just take out a credit card to pay for it. Red flag, I'm not saying that any coaching program does that. I literally just made up that whole story.
Speaker 1:I don't know. So I'm just like I hope that doesn't happen.
Speaker 3:Right, I love that you brought that up, because some of the best and most productive consults have been when clients come and they say I know my goal, I know where I want to be, but I actually don't really know how to get there. And that's like ding, ding, ding for me, because that's literally what a coach does. That's always like don't be afraid to go into a consult saying I actually don't know exactly what my goals are or where, what my goals even should be. That's a huge thing. But I know I want to be XYZ a year from now, or I know I want to do this in six months. And then it's like, okay, that's honestly I don't like to say perfect, but one of the best frameworks to have as a coach and then as a as a potential client. So again, yeah, don't be afraid to not walk, to walk into a consult, being like I don't know. That's why we're doing a consult.
Speaker 1:So yeah, absolutely so. Oh my gosh, where do we go from here? We've covered.
Speaker 3:Yeah, did we cover. If you've been in pageantry for a few years, you're kind of getting to where you want to be. You're not quite there, you know where you want to be and you're kind of learning with life experiences and just experiences in pageantry in general. I think that's when it's important to think about a coach, because to me it was like, okay, I had coaching and I kind of had these experiences and I knew where I wanted to be and maybe one day I would have gotten there right. Like you can't deny that, like you should always believe in yourself, whether you have a coach or not. But it was a lot of fast tracking, I would say, and a lot of like, like I said, just like taking like the most not narrow path, but just like it's streamlined, the most streamlined path possible for you to get to your goals. So I think people think like, oh, I've started, I've done this for a few years, I've had some success. I don't need a coach. That might be true, because I've seen people have success without a coach. But I also think that if you know exactly where you want to be and you have a specific goal in mind and you know that, like this was how I was can't stop, won't stop until I reach that goal.
Speaker 3:I think that's when it's important to look into a coach, to kind of have that streamlined process, because even people that have been competing for years and think that they have all this experience which I'm sure you do there are still clients that I see that are still focusing on all the wrong things and it's like what if we just flipped that and you had all of this experience and you're already having some success, like you're just on a streamlined fast track to exactly where you wanna go and where you want to be. Obviously, then if you're completely go and where you want to be, Obviously, then if you're completely new and you just need guidance and just kind of a mentorship in a way, absolutely look into coaches. I think it's really fun when newbies come to me and they're like I have no idea what the pageant world even is, but like, help me. I think that's so fun too, because then you really get to get them at the beginning of their experience and you don't necessarily have to like rewire you know bad experiences that they've had or just misconceptions that they've had. Like that's also a great place to start. So why do you need a coach really? To sum it all up streamlining and fast tracking to the goals and where you want to be.
Speaker 3:And plus, there's just some things that I'm going to be honest with this one. There are just some things that I'm going to say to my clients, who I am invested in and who are investing into me, that I'm not just going to willy nilly shout to the world and on the streets, to everybody that I'm possibly around. I build a relationship with people and I build some sense of rapport and some sense of credibility with my clients and they're also investing back into me. So honestly, like if you're somebody's client, you should be getting information that they're not giving anywhere else. Like that, let's be honest. Like that's the benefit of having a coach too and having a mentor. That when you look at their credentials, is that where you want to go? Is that where you want to be? Have they been in those same places? And then you're kind of able to realize, like what they bring to the table from there. I've been really long-winded with all this and I hope it makes sense. There's just there's a lotwinded with all this and I hope it makes sense.
Speaker 1:There's just. There's a lot. It's always this and that. You know the saying those who can't do teach. I don't believe that. I don't know. I think there could be some truth to that. But how much more powerful is it to say like those that did can teach, like that really do know how to teach it?
Speaker 3:I agree. I think, okay, you could be a really successful NBA player and you might not be a great coach. Not everybody is cut out to be a coach. I'm going to say that too. Like you could be, you could be a great NBA player, but that doesn't mean that you're also going to be a coach. I'm going to say that too. Like you could be, you could be a great NBA player, but that doesn't mean that you're also going to coach a team to win the championships.
Speaker 1:Can you say it louder for the people that need to hear it.
Speaker 3:A good competitor does not mean you're also a good coach. However, there are also people who are really good coaches that were not great competitors. You know, who I think of is Abby Lee Miller. She's a dance teacher that coaches all these winners and she's known for right. We know Abby Lee Miller Dance Moms, but she said specifically I was never the best competitor. I knew I wasn't meant to be on stage.
Speaker 3:You can also have that Again. Look at their credentials and their history and their experience. But the best thing that you can get is when you had a good competitor who had success and who lived experiences and who went through exactly what you went through, who also have a knack for coaching. I'm thinking of multiple coaches. People are sitting here like you're just talking about yourself. No, I'm not. I'm talking about there are many people out there where you'll see they've had all this success and then also are successful coaches. It's like a Venn diagram. That's kind of what I'm picturing in my head. So you can have one or the other, but find those who have had both, like that is where you have the most beautiful experiences, because I frankly don't know how I would be the best coach. Had I not went through the experiences and the journey and, honestly, the the career that I did have in pageantry, I don't know how I would coach as good as I do now, not having those experiences Some people do, some people are great different coaching styles.
Speaker 3:It is what it is, but it's beautiful when you get both, and there are there are some out there there's not a lot, but there are a few out there that have both and it's really, really awesome and I think that it honestly just elevates the experience because it's you also have fun with them in a way where they were competing at one point and so you can kind of relate and talk about those experiences. It's also fun in a in a sense. But again, just that, that credibility that you're really not able to get. I know coaches who have coached and have had success in coaching who have went back to compete just to prove right to themselves, maybe to their clients, that they are able to do that Like they. That's pretty cool too.
Speaker 1:So Well, I think I'm going to say something controversial. Yeah, be wary of coaches that haven't actually had that success but are now coaching that they're not living vicariously through their clients.
Speaker 3:Oh, I don't think that's controversial. Oh, okay, good, I don't think that's controversial at all.
Speaker 1:I don't want to offend anyone, because I'm not saying that all coaches that haven't actually, like, won a state or national title or like had the success that their clients are looking for, are living vicariously, because I mean to me, like it's just, it's not a very healthy space to be in If you're trying to live through somebody else's successes, like again, we go back to that ability to be objective and take the emotions out of it and truly just see that person as uniquely capable in their own right, and that you don't own that.
Speaker 1:I think that's not something that I've had to check myself on for three years now. When I, like I love my clients, I love each of them individually, I get to know them personally, um, I'm helping them with different things. None of them are the same as anyone else and I have to check myself because I do get connected emotionally to take a step back and disconnect, because it's not my journey, it's theirs, and that I feel like is an ongoing practice and it's important that that I do continue to check myself and I'm really excited moving forward with you on the team now, lila, to be able to make sure that we're checking each other on that too.
Speaker 3:I don't think it's controversial because I think anybody can fall into that.
Speaker 3:I don't care if you're a parent, a sister, a friend, a coach. That's just life and living life. So I don't think it's as controversial as you think it is, and it is hard to detach yourself as a coach from the success because you pour so much into it. Right, Like we really as much as our clients invest in us. Hear me when I say we are just as invested in you, Like we care just as much about your success as probably you do. But we still have to detach ourselves because we are not the ones doing it. It's an art, it's this like really fine line balance of you're pouring so much in, but it is their journey.
Speaker 3:And I honestly think that's the beauty of being a coach, because you get to be a small part, honestly, of their lives and ultimately their success but also their failures, and you see it all and the entire spectrum and the whole thing, and so I think it's possible to fall into living vicariously through anyone at any point.
Speaker 1:Well, and I don't think it's fair to just be talking about this from the paid coach coaches perspective either, because there's directors and volunteers out there that are pouring just as much love and objectivity, practicing these same things as we are, but just on a volunteer basis. And I, um, I grew up with volunteers and directors that did just that for me and that truly raised me to be the coach that I am today. The reason that I coach and that I charge for my services is because this is my full-time job. It is what I do for a living, it is my passion. I feel like it is my life's work.
Speaker 1:Could I do a different job? Could I have a completely different career and do this as a volunteer on the side, for fun and enjoyment? Yes, I absolutely could, but I tried that route once and I burnt out and it was really unhealthy for me. And now, doing exactly what I love to do, just like we preach to every kid out there, like, do what you're passionate about and you won't work a day in your life, like that's that's me, doing that for me right now. So I think that that's true for truly any paid coach out there, um, as well.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I like that you brought that up. There are definitely directors and volunteers that pour a lot. However, there is a difference in the level of investment when it comes to somebody that is volunteering for you, versus one that is invested in each other. I have personally seen a huge difference in the not just the amount of help that I get, but the level of help that I get and the responsibility that people feel towards you when you are investing in them as a livelihood. There is a difference, and I will say that because I really don't love this sentiment of like well, I could do it and just not charge for it, and it's the same thing. But, as human beings, if we're going to be so honest with ourselves, there is a difference. When somebody is invested in you and somebody is, oh, not answering to you, but but like they're invested, there's a responsibility that I have towards my clients that there is a. It's a different level.
Speaker 1:You have accountability.
Speaker 3:Accountability.
Speaker 1:Thank you. There's accountability. You have accountability as a coach because your reputation is on the line and the pageant industry that is, you know, much of our clientele right now is a small world and we want to maintain our reputation. So we hold ourselves accountable to that reputation that we want to uphold. And it's different for volunteers not to say that volunteers don't hold themselves accountable in their own system of checks and balances, because I know I worked with incredible volunteers and they're just good people that genuinely care and genuinely loved me and every other title holder that they worked with. So I don't want to bash on that at all. But Lila's right, there is a level of accountability system of checks and balances that is very significant to us because this is our livelihood and we want to maintain that reputation. And like I don't I don't ever want to do this just for money, like I could literally go do any other job for that I do this because I love it.
Speaker 3:That's the thing that people don't realize. We both could. What if we both quit this today? We would be able to get jobs in, however long, and just make the same amount or make more or whatever it is, and not have to worry about health insurance and all of that. Ray's face right now is really funny. Her eyes are really big right now and I want to know what she's thinking.
Speaker 3:But I think it's really yucky to think that coaches just do this for money, because, oh my God, if I was just doing this for money, I would go and get a job that gives me health insurance and a 401k. I am not just doing this for money. There are things that people do in this world just for money and I don't think mentorship and working with children is one of them. To be honest, working as a coach and somebody that is pouring love, honestly, joy and life experiences it's emotional work. Yes, I'm not just doing that for the money, right? So I think it's a really yucky. I just hate when people say that because I'm not just doing it for the money.
Speaker 1:No, it's a huge misunderstanding. My eyes were huge because you were painting a picture of the life that I don't want to go back.
Speaker 3:It triggers the corporate trauma.
Speaker 1:Trauma for me. No, I just I was born to do this. I was born to do this and I one of my values is no comparison. That includes not comparing myself to any other coaches. I get inspired by other coaches all the time and I'm like man, like that's such a cool thing that they're doing, it's a cool thing that they're talking about. But you know, I think that in the world of coaching, it's important to like support each other and uplift one another.
Speaker 1:So, like, as Lila and I are talking about the different types of coaches and the different types of coaching programs, like not out here to bash anyone. Go find what fits for you. If you want a coach, um, I'm going to be a cheerleader for other coaches, cause I know how difficult it can be. I know what it feels like for people to to hate on you, to say that you shouldn't be charging for those services. Like we're all in this together and I'm going to assume good intention for all of their coaches out there, that they truly are out there to make a difference and to help others. I was literally talking to a friend a couple of weeks ago who was thinking about coaching and I was like go for it. I fully support you. This is what I suggest that you should charge Um. So there are practices that I think are unethical that I will talk about, but I'm not about to bash any coaching programs because, truly, we're all. We're all in this world together.
Speaker 3:I was just talking to one of our get coached live girlies yesterday about. We were talking about how it's so difficult when you struggle with comparison and you think you did something really cool and you see other people do similar things and all of a sudden you don't feel like it's cool. Who do similar things? Or blah, blah, blah. The reason why you stick with a coach, you like a coach and they work for you, is because of the individual, not necessarily not the brand that you're with, whatever it is. So my hope is that you make a connection with that individual and you feel like they're really a part of your lives. Because you know what?
Speaker 3:My favorite things when clients text me is not about their wins, is not them gassing me up or thanking me. It's when they're texting me just about their lives and updating me on just things that have went on good, bad, ugly, whatever it is in between. Those are some of the most joyous moments to me, because I get to be a part of your life. This is not fulfilling to us if we are not making connections and relationships with people. Even that, even as a coach myself, looking at the other people that have started coaching and just realizing I am not any less, because somebody else is doing something similar. I'm so happy that people are trying to provide more good into this world that can be very toxic, right, like God. I hope as many women as possible get that mentorship that they need, and I just keep reminding myself that. To answer our last question how do you find a coach? Find somebody that you are willing to invest in because you like them as a person and they work for you as a coach and as a mentor.
Speaker 1:Try to look past the sparkle, all of the smoke and mirrors that marketing can sometimes create, and what I mean by that is like that is like we've got statistics on our website about outcomes for each season for as long as Fearlessly Authentic has been around, and I put that up there because of curiosity. I know you guys are kind of curious about, like, what our outcomes are in terms of the wins and the runners up and the specialty awards and all that stuff. I do that because you're curious, not because I care at all. The things that I think you should be looking for in the coaching program, going back to the beginning of this conversation the credibility and do you have a connection with that coach? Does their programming fit with your needs and is it within your budget? Can you actually afford it without having to go into debt? So do some exploring.
Speaker 1:Don't feel obligated. I think this is a big problem. I hear it from from people all the time of like, well, I've been working with this coach for a long time and I just kind of feel like we have this rapport and this relationship. Like, do not feel obligated to stay with me as your coach If you want to go work with a different coaching program because you feel like they're going to meet your needs better or it's better in your budget or you have a better connection with them. Please do that, because I want what is best for you and I can't say that and be truly honest about it If I'm also on the other side over here, like, but you shouldn't work with them because I'm better or whatever.
Speaker 1:If I truly care about you and your success and your empowerment and your wellbeing, then I want to live out this encouragement of sending you off to somebody else and releasing you with love and allowing you to do that for yourself. So keep that in mind too, that not all coaches are going to be a great fit for you. Avoid the smoke and mirrors. Find someone that is actually going to help you reach your goals. That's all I got.
Speaker 3:I think that's all I got too.
Speaker 1:No, that's not true. We have so much more, but we have to stop.
Speaker 3:Well, that's what I'm saying. It's always. That's all I got for now. That's what I'm saying. It's always. That's all I got for now. We're a weekly podcast. It's never, that's all for all. So I hope we hit everything. I think we did. I think, really, the main takeaways are don't be afraid to meet with somebody to see if you connect with them. Don't be afraid to come in not knowing what you need to be doing, and don't be afraid to be honest and and find somebody that you connect with at at their core and can be a part of your lives, and in addition to your lives, not you trying to be a part of their lives, absolutely.
Speaker 1:And we'd love to meet with you. So be sure to click on the link and schedule a consult with myself or Lila. You're going to meet with one of us. You've been listening to us, so, whichever one, you feel like you connect with more for various reasons, or if you have no idea, just flip a coin because yeah or like look at our backgrounds right, like if. Oh sure, yeah, you can do that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, right, like if there's something specific she said flip a coin.
Speaker 1:You can flip a coin, Sure, but like, maybe, maybe you love us both equally and you just can't decide.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we would love to talk with you. We hope that you're all doing great with your prep. Locals are really ramping up now and we're just kind of excited for this season. It's starting to roll, so best of luck to everyone. Let us know if you need anything. As always, we're here. Find us on socials. See you somewhere else on the internet.
Speaker 1:And enjoy the rest of your summer.
Speaker 3:Find that balance right, I bet there's so many people going back to school in the next week or so and they're probably like my summer's over.
Speaker 1:Oh no, my summer is not over until I'm back from Italy.
Speaker 3:I'm so jealous my summer's not over until I'm done moving. Yeah, okay, this was fun, good conversation.
Speaker 1:We'll see you next week. Thanks guys, take care Bye. If you aspire to be as confident and accomplished as the women we talked to on this show, then this exclusive opportunity is tailor made for you. I'm offering a complimentary, fearlessly authentic coaching consultation designed specifically for women like yourself. Have you ever compared yourself to others or worried you're not good enough? Do you get nervous about public speaking and always second-guess the things you've said? I've been there myself and have helped countless women conquer their private interview and onstage question, feel confident on and off stage, showcase their authenticity and purpose and ultimately win the title of their dreams.
Speaker 1:In the Fearlessly Authentic Coaching Program, you will develop award-winning interview skills, transform your platform, become a public speaking expert, overcome self-doubt comparison expert. Overcome self-doubt comparison and imposter syndrome, and be 100% prepared to not only win, but to succeed with your dream title, whether that's local, state, national or even global. Don't let doubt or hesitation hold you back any longer. Take the first step toward your success and sign up for your complimentary, no obligation coaching consultation today. Simply visit fearlesslyauthenticoachcom slash consultation and reserve your spot. Remember your journey to greatness begins with a single decision. Join the ranks of empowered women who dare to be fearlessly authentic. Thank you so much for listening, and here's to the confident, unstoppable you.
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