Sash & Soul
Welcome to the "Fearlessly Authentic: Sash & Soul Podcast," the show that goes beyond the stage to prioritize mindset, wellbeing, and triumphs in the pageant journey. Each episode explores the power of embracing authenticity, sharing mindset tips, self-care strategies, and inspiring success stories to help you navigate the pageant world with confidence and resilience.
Sash & Soul
#30 Beyond the Crown: Miss America 2015, Kira Dixon (Kazantsev)
Kira Dixon (Kazantsev), Miss America 2015, is a host and reporter for Golf Channel and NBC Sports. She primarily covers news on the PGA TOUR and recently returned from her trip to Paris after her debut as a Sports Desk reporter at the 2024 Olympics.
In this episode with Kira, we discuss her beginnings in pageantry and how her Miss America journey started as a lighthearted, extracurricular activity with her mom, buying dresses off eBay and doing her own makeup. Her life took an exciting turn when she decided to compete for Miss New York. Against the odds, she captured the Miss America title, bringing home the crown to New York for the third year in a row. Kira shares her story about how a simple "yes," to playing golf as Miss America changed the trajectory of her career.
We discuss what it means to be Miss America, and Kira opens up about the value of quiet confidence instead of aiming for perfection. She also talks about her experiences dealing with public scrutiny, and the lessons she learned as she transitioned into life outside of the pageant world. 10 years later, Kira now understands why a former Miss America told her it would take her 10 years to feel "normal" again.
Read the NBC Sports article here: https://www.nbcsports.com/golf/news/yes-how-one-word-shaped-kira-k-dixons-golf-future-after-winning-miss-america-10-years-ago
Connect with Kira:
Instagram: @kirakdixon
Tiktok: KiraKDixon
Inquiries: cosette@dolphinsm.com
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Socials: @sashandsoul | @fearlesslyauthenticcoach | @raeannajohnson
Websites: www.fearlesslyauthentic.com | www.sashandsoul.com
Email: info@fearlesslyauthenticcoach.com
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Welcome to the Fearlessly Authentic Sash and Soul podcast, the show that goes beyond the stage, prioritizing a healthy mindset, overall well-being, and triumphs in the pageant journey. In each episode, we dive into the transformative power of embracing authenticity fearlessly, From mindset mastery and self-care strategies to success stories that inspire.
Speaker 2:This podcast is your go-to guide for navigating the pageant world with confidence and resilience. Join us as we embark on a journey of self-discovery, empowerment and celebrate the stories of those who fearlessly embraced their authenticity on the path to pageant success. I'm Lila Sherry.
Speaker 1:And I'm Rihanna Johnson. Welcome to Sash and Soul. Hey everyone, welcome back to Sash and Soul. This is Raeanna and Lila, and we have an incredible guest today. I'm so excited. You have no idea. This has been in the works for a little while now, but super excited that it's finally coming to fruition, and really good timing too, which I think may be a little bit of a theme of our episode today. But we have Kira Dixon, kira Kazantsev, our Miss America, my Miss America 2015. Welcome, kira, so excited to have you. Thanks for having me. I'm excited to chat Absolutely Okay. So I'm excited to chat Absolutely Okay. So I'm going to give Lila just a quick second to give a brief background on Kira for those of you that live in a hole and don't know who she is.
Speaker 2:I am so excited for this one. Again, thanks so much for being here. Kira is somebody that I have watched for 10 years now, really way back in the beginning of my pageant journey, so this is really kind of a fangirl moment for me as well. She was, of course, miss America in 2015. Since then, she is a host and reporter for the Golf Channel and NBC Sports. That is huge to me. If you all don't know my journalism background, I know the importance of that and how cool that is, as many of you do as well. Those are the two biggest things for us right now, but I don't like to take up too much time talking about our guests, so I'm going to turn it over to you and give you kind of a chance to introduce yourself more than just these surface level bio topics. So welcome, hi.
Speaker 3:Hi Laila. I mean you guys kind of got the greatest hits there. But yeah, it's been 10 years since I was Miss America and life has been really a wild journey since then. It was wild before, during and after, but definitely after. I've taken 10 years to kind of find this next real settled niche and path and that's kind of part of the Miss America experience which I think we'll get into in a little bit. But yeah, I mostly focus now on golf and some Olympic sports and I travel about 30 weeks a year, which, ever since I started traveling for Miss America, it seems like I kind of never stopped traveling after that. That's just kind of become my life. But I live in San Francisco with my husband and have a fun, crazy life that comes with all sorts of ups and downs and its own set of challenges, but it's all part of it. So, yeah, I'm just excited to be here and to get to talk about something that I think that your audience can appreciate.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely so. Speaking of our audience, I'm sure they want to hear a little bit about just your pageant journey in general, so let's give just a brief overview of what your pageant journey looked like leading up to becoming Miss America in 2015.
Speaker 3:Yes, okay, so I was 12 when Miss Congeniality came out and LOL.
Speaker 1:A classic.
Speaker 3:At Sandra Bullock. I wanted to be Sandra Bullock. So bad I begged my parents to let me do a pageant. So bad I begged my parents to let me do a pageant. Lila's laughing. I had a lot of energy as a child, like love to sing and dance and just wanted to be on a stage. So it was just a great opportunity to get out on a stage. And my mom was like, okay, fine.
Speaker 3:So we did National American Miss once a year from like 12 to when I went to college and it was. You know, we were very low key about it. I bought all my dresses off of eBay. I never got my makeup professionally done, like I just was, it was just fun.
Speaker 3:And then, um, as I was figuring out what I was going to do after college, I wanted to go to law school and I still had some friends from NAMM that had gone on to do Miss America locals and competed in teen or something like that, and I think I'd seen somebody on like Facebook or Instagram and asked them about it because I was interested in the scholarship money and I was like you know what? I was living in New York at the time. Let's just do Miss New York and see how it goes. So I competed at Miss New York and made top 10 that year and that was the year that Nina Dalvalori won Miss New York and she went on to become Miss America.
Speaker 3:And the following year I'd gotten into law school and I was like, okay, you know what, I'm going to compete for Miss New York one more time and see if I can go to Miss America. And if I can be Miss New York, I'll be Miss New York for a year. They thought the idea of being Miss America hadn't even entered my brain. Um, and if, if I don't win Miss New York, I will go to Notre Dame and go to law school, so I win either way. And then, um, you know you, you know what ended up happening and that was that's kind of like my journey. But like I didn't have like a very um, like a, you know, serious pageant background, I was just something that was really fun and I loved, and I loved the competition. It was like a fun hobby that my mom and I kind of did for a while but turned into a lot more than a hobby. I'll tell you that.
Speaker 1:Did your dream shift after you became Miss New York to wanting to become Miss America? Was there a moment?
Speaker 3:No, because Mall had been, had been Miss America from New York. There's no statistical chance. I'd never had three in a row from New York. Um, and people would come up to me and say, oh, you would have been such a great Miss America, too bad. It just it just wasn't like a thing and and like, looking back, that was probably my secret weapon, because it freed me up so much there's no pressure. I had so much fun at Miss America Like I didn't care about the result. I did what I wanted, I wore what I wanted, I said what I wanted, I did the talent that I wanted. I didn't care. I was like, whatever, I'm not going to win anyway.
Speaker 1:Who does this remind us of Lila?
Speaker 2:Can we get into the talent because you kind of emphasize that you did the talent that you wanted. For those who don't know, you were the. You were sitting in the front of the stage and I remember you sitting cross-legged on the stage with that red solo cup and singing. Tell us about that and kind of tell us the backstory and how you got up to that point.
Speaker 3:It seems like my life is very movie driven. I I just watched Pitch Perfect and I thought it was. It was really big at the time and I, I, I pitched it, I think, to my local executive director, eddie Rabin, who is still one of my dear, dear friends and was in my wedding. And like this amazing guy um, he's a talent agent in new york and like his thought was like he, he approached miss america as like, not a pageant, but like a production, like a broadway show or like you know, like a performance, that sort of thing, not necessarily like a what normal people would consider to be a pageant thing. And he was like I mean you like this is a great idea, you should do something different.
Speaker 3:The whole point of being Miss America is sitting on the ground with children or like entertaining children and children's hospitals, connecting with like that. That is a huge part of it. And I could have done some like normal Broadway song or some pop song or like you know, something. That would have been nice. But OK, and I wanted to do something that was going to play on my strengths and show my personality and show my creativity and show that I could do. I wasn't scared to do something different and that could show that I had that year of connecting with kids in a different way. So he was like, yeah, try it.
Speaker 3:And I did it at. I think I did it at my local. But the year that I competed the second time and the judges after were like, oh my God, you have to continue to do this, you have to. That was magic. Do it at state. And I was like, okay, sure, whatever. And so I did, and the judges were like, oh my God, you have to do it at Miss America. Like we had a big discussion about, like is this going to like shock the Miss America people? Um, and it did, it did.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was going to say. The answer is yes, it absolutely did, and beyond I wasn't, I wasn't going to win.
Speaker 3:So like screw it, who cares? Like I'm just going to do my thing, and it just like kind of took on the life of its own. And after Miss America I had had a conversation with several of Miss America judges. I remember Gary Vaynerchuk, um, who was one of our judges. He told me after that, when I did my talent during prelims, after I walked off the stage, they all kind of looked at each other and were like is everyone okay? Like what did we just watch? And they were like this was it? I knew they were going to either hate it and they weren't going to get it, or they were going to like really get it, and he was like that was it. That was when we were like she's our girl, she's willing to do that.
Speaker 1:So that was that, wow, okay. Well, I love that tidbit of like don't be afraid to step outside of the box, don't be afraid to do something really different and unique. Um, but also like do it well, cause you did it well. And I have to tell you, uh, we, when we got into our car in chicago on our way back home to milwaukee on saturday so it was the 10-year anniversary day of, um, of our miss america, of your miss america, crowning um happy came on.
Speaker 3:It was the first time I heard and I was like, oh, my gosh, yeah, and we picked happy as the song because I wanted to do I didn't want to do exactly what the movie was and happy was really big at the time, so I was just trying to like, really tap into, like, okay, what is a kid today gonna be really excited about? To see a Miss America come into a children's hospital and do. And I did that routine with thousands of kids in hundreds of children's hospitals all year long and it like it really was a magic moment thing and it was like my little superpower that I, you know you could break it out at any time and like everybody knew that routine at the time. So just, it took on a life of its own, for better or for worse. So you know, shout out at the haters for making it as memorable as it was.
Speaker 1:No, that's absolutely true, right? Isn't that what haters tend to do? Like they're going to bring more attention to it and love it.
Speaker 3:Thanks, guys, you're just fans, appreciate it, thanks for the engagement and the clicks.
Speaker 1:So just like thinking from like a coaching perspective, like to to all the listeners out there who like kind of think so long and hard and overthink like what they should do for their talent, or what they should wear for evening gown or for interview, or like just the list like what their initiative should be, like what? What would you say to them, given like how you came across in shows and stuck by your, your talent?
Speaker 3:Yeah, um, so I, I understand that it's like, it's serious. You want to put your best foot forward, you're very passionate about it, you care, and I was all of those things Like I. My thing for Miss America was like there's no way that I can win, but I'm going to be the best version of myself possible. I will have turned over every single stone, like I or I'm sorry, I will leave no stone unturned, like I was I. It's not like I was going to mail it in just because I couldn't win, like I was still going to bring it, but in my way. So that's one part of it. But at the on the other side is it's just a pageant. It's it can be this magical, wonderful thing that can change your life and brings you wonderful relationships, experiences, blah, blah, blah. But it's just a pageant. It's not a, it's not the dream. It's a dream. It's something that you're doing for fun, theoretically Like, and that's like.
Speaker 3:I think that people are like, yeah, totally Like I. I get that, I agree, but like, deep down, they're like I must do whatever, you know, because people are type A personalities that want to do everything perfectly, which is totally relatable. I get that. I have that judges pick up on people that are genuinely confident in their choices and who they are, and someone who's pretending to be confident in their choices and who they are, and that's just like you can. I'm sure you guys have watched plenty of pageants and you can tell when someone is legitimately like they have a thing, they have a light yep, they have something that just comes across. It's an intangible. And somebody else that might come across the stage is like they've had all the coaching, they've done all the things, they've crossed every, every t and dotted every I. Their. Their paperwork is perfect, but it's not authentic, and you can smell that from a mile away, and so so my always my advice is like you know, don't let your mom, do your paperwork.
Speaker 3:Don't let your coach tell you what to say, like there's. I've never I worked with plenty of people that like helped me develop, like exactly what I care about and and how I wanted to to communicate that, but no one ever told me you are going to say this or we're going to write this Like that's just not how I went about it and that's that's my two cents on it.
Speaker 1:No, I love that Actually, like if you have more than two cents, I would love to hear more, because this is something that we talk about all the time. And authentic I'm going to say this even though it's part of the title of my program. Authentic is a buzzword and I think often we're just like okay, but how do you, how do you be authentic? How, like, how? I think I think that's always the question is in the how we understand, like there's some kind of light, there's some kind of, there's some kind of energy, like that genuine confidence. I call it humble confidence, but like wow, what do you, what do you think?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I call it a humble confidence, quiet confidence, for sure. Um, I think that, um, like being a well-rounded human that doesn't have just pageants as their thing in life, like it is an extracurricular to me. So this is, this is my. You know, I don't want to take anything away from anybody else, but it is their whole life and that's fine too. But for me, um, it was an extracurricular activity that was a small part of me. I had so many other things in life that made me who I am.
Speaker 3:Uh, and when it came down to making, like, competitive choices, I, I just picked a dress that I liked. I don't care if this is the dress, or like it elongates your leg this way, or this is what is fashionable, like it does not matter. Like pick what you feel is going to make you shine brightest. Naturally, sing the song or dance the dance or play the whatever, or do your model up like whatever it is that, like you have fun doing um.
Speaker 3:And then, when it comes down to the interview which for me I think was probably most important because I got my personality across quickly and efficiently um, I read a lot of books. Like I didn't, there wasn't a lot of um, you know like let's go through every single buzzword topic thing and practice how we're going to respond and give the perfect answer. I read a ton of like different points of view type books that it I and I like digested how other people talk about issues and and the language that they use and the the statistics and the information and, um, that was a great way for me to like process exactly like what do I believe and how am I going to communicate this? I got so much value out of all of that reading so I always have like a list of I can send you my list.
Speaker 2:A book That'd be great.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like a Miss America prep reading 10 years ago, so it probably would add more to it, but I just feel like it just made me so, like I was talking about things from like a real place of understanding and not just pretending to understand, so like have like being having real substance, legit substance to bring is way more important than I've talked to this over with a coach and this is what we've decided is the best way to go about it, like no, no, no, what do you, what do you actually know? Yeah, and, and how, how are you going to have that come across?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that. I was talking with a client earlier this week and I said there is a very big difference between preparation and practice, and under preparation falls that self-development and that understanding of the world and where you fit within that and what you think of the things going on in the world and your morals and your values. It is very difficult to be authentic and genuine and to answer questions honestly if you yourself don't really have a full understanding of who you are. So I love that. That personal development is arguably more important than the practice. Practice needs to come secondary to that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean, anybody can pay for a beautiful evening gown, professional makeup, the best track for your song. You can buy a lot of this, but at the end of the day, what's happening underneath is completely free and completely up to you and that's, that's, I think, the difference. And that's like for Miss New York, my mom made my dress Like I have never. Um, the first time I had my makeup like legitimately professionally done for a pageant was, uh, Miss New York, Like, I just, and I like I think that those professionals are very, very important and obviously they were a big part of the Miss America experience and things like that. But like, if we put so much emphasis on what's happening outside of this, like which is part of it, it is a pageant, but at the end of the day, if you don't have the chops on the inside, then what was the point of all the other stuff? It's just, you got to focus on that first and then the other stuff can come later.
Speaker 2:I hope everybody is hearing this. Say it louder for the people in the back. I think it's true. I think, especially starting as a NAMM girl too, you kind of realize the lack of importance for a lot of those things, and I think it starts to become kind of a crutch when people it's fun though, right, I get it, that's the fun part the gowns, the makeup of how important it is to have that internal validation first of all, but then second of all, that internal growth that you constantly have to work on. It's the forgotten side of pageantry, I think. So I just I hope that everybody's listening, yeah.
Speaker 3:Well, and there's different pages that are looking for different things, and it's not necessarily a cookie cutter, same thing for everybody. But like for Miss America, for my experience, for like the way that our competition was structured, all of that, that this would be my personal approach. I never I other than NAMM and Miss America. I never competed in anything else, so that I don't have any other touch points on on things beyond that.
Speaker 1:But if someone were to be competing in in kind of that lane, that's what yeah, where personality is a really important part, because it's you doing the job Like your personality. You're bringing that into the job. So let's talk about that a little bit. I want to hear about, like I mean, I was there for the full, like two and a half weeks, cause we we started in DC first. We had a long experience.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, we did. We. We were also one of the classes, like you know, I think, especially with the recent changes, like we got to meet first in Florida for the Miss America's Outstanding Teen Competition. We had that whole experience at Disney and all that fun stuff. So I want to hear, like from your perspective, like what were the ups and downs and everywhere in between, of your experience, like for those two and a half weeks before crowning night?
Speaker 3:if you can think back I don't know like wait what I just, I just remember having so much fun and being so like happy.
Speaker 1:I also had a really fun class to be fair.
Speaker 3:We have our class reunion next weekend.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, yeah, we had a great class.
Speaker 3:We had an amazing class and I just felt like it was so easy to be around most of the people, like you know, it just was, it was so much fun and um, I just felt so like I didn't care about the the other stuff, like the comp, I mean obviously I I cared, but like I just wasn't worried about it because I, I was, there was no chance for me to win, so it was just like I'm just like living my best life. I'm in this America and at the time that Dick Clark was producing it, so it felt big. It felt like this, this really important thing that we were all part of and we were getting to do these awesome things, and I just felt like it was this, it was. I definitely had this stepping back moment of like, oh my God, I can't believe I get to do this Like realizing what's happening while it's happening, I mean like, yeah, anybody's going to have like little moments of self-doubt.
Speaker 3:I had such a great support system. I had like, um, eddie was my executive director. He had written me a note to open for every single day and like put these funny, like um RuPaul's drag race memes and every single one, and like, just like my family, you know everybody was just so supportive and having a great, a great experience alongside me and um and I, the whole time I was there, I kept on reading my books and reading you know my books and reading, you know being staying in my process to make sure I was ready for, for everything. But I don't. I never felt like overwhelmed by the competition or the stress or anything like that, like, if anything. It was the complete opposite, which is probably what freed me up for like.
Speaker 3:The interview was the best interview that I'd ever done in a pageant. The like, the and then every other point of it was just like I would come off stage and be like that was exactly how I would have wanted to do it. But you're able to do things freely when you don't put pressure on yourself and you're not super results-oriented and results-driven. It was just like oh my God, I get to go walk on the Miss America stage in this dress. I get to go walk on the Miss America stage in this dress.
Speaker 3:I get to go and do my, my talent on this giant stage I get to go and like show these judges how great I am. In interview it was just like, ah, that's so cool. So that was kind of my, my recollection of it, and I know that that's not the same the case for a lot of people. Because, um, because people were like stressed about like oh, I have to wear this dress because this sponsor thing for with my state, and blah, blah, blah and like every state is very different and like I'm I was, I was also very lucky.
Speaker 3:I have to say that, like my state um, executive directors and things like that, like they didn't care, they were like you do you, kira, we you got it. Boo Love, yeah, and that was that.
Speaker 1:So, OK, vulnerable but teachable moment, which is why I'm going to say this. I think I had potentially the opposite experience of you, the similarity yeah.
Speaker 3:Oh no, I'm sorry, guys, yeah.
Speaker 1:But the similarity for me was that Laura Kepler had won right before the slew of Miss New York's. And then I'm coming in as Miss Wisconsin and thinking, like well, miss Wisconsin like never wins, this is like they're not going to go. Wisconsin, new York, new York, new York, wisconsin, right. So I but I wasn't taking it as the well, let's just go and have a really good time, which would have been really helpful for me. That well, let's just go and have a really good time, which would have been really helpful for me.
Speaker 1:I had all the pressure and I like wasn't doing the right stuff for like my own wellbeing, like just self-care and just like putting myself first. It was all the pressure and it's like I tell my clients this too, like this is why a big reason why I became a mindset coach, because it's all the things that I did wrong and I know that and I'll never get that experience back and that's really sad for me. Earlier I said, lila, who does this remind us of? When you were talking about how you approached Miss America and how you were like I'm just going to have a really good time and I don't plan on winning, so I'm just going to go out there and put out my best, and the rest is history. So I'm just going to go out there and put out my best and the rest is history. And we? It's reminding me of Madison Marsh and our our conversation with her and she said she talked about wanting to win the experience and it sounds like you did exactly that for yourself.
Speaker 1:It's like you won the experience and then the cherry on top was being crowned and having this incredible experience.
Speaker 3:Why did you put so much pressure on yourself?
Speaker 1:I think it was. I mean, I think it was a lot of things. I think it was, having been first runner up to Laura and then taking over as Miss Wisconsin that after she had won Miss America and then coming back and winning, I felt this pressure of like having to be as good as her. And now I know that like it's like that's not really a thing in pageantry, like there's no such thing as like beating someone else or like being as good as someone else.
Speaker 1:The approach now is exactly what you did, which is that self-development and like having fun and and um, but yeah, it was a lot of that and just some mental health stuff too. Like I historically have struggled with depression and generalized anxiety, so it was a lot of that, and then, I think, just a lacking of support system. So it's kind of like you know, you can look at all the things that you listed as like I had this and I had this and I had this and I had this and all those things that you're so grateful for, and like I look back and I'm like, yes, I can be grateful for pieces of those things that I had but I didn't have the full puzzle.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's hard, it's really hard, and so much of it is also up to like. You mentioned your environment to people around you, if any, if any outside sources are putting pressure on you. So if anyone listening is a supporter of a pageant person, just let them live.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, absolutely, and I think to in hindsight, my biggest regret is like not getting into therapy when I was Miss Wisconsin, leading up to Miss.
Speaker 3:America.
Speaker 1:Like cause, knowing that for myself like I have a history of struggling with, with mental illness like should have been a top priority for me as a state title holder, even if I wasn't going to a national competition, like having that additional professional support for me personally was really necessary. Because, I mean, I look back now even and, um, I had some some good experiences those two and a half weeks at Miss America, but it really put a damper on it too. And, like I look back and like man, I'll never have that opportunity to just like relax and have just an easy fun time with you guys ever again. And we did have an amazing class and sometimes I felt like I was a little bit like reserved and shrinking. I think I was shrinking a lot more than I wish I would have.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean, it's also such a hard thing because we're programmed to compare ourselves to others and you're constantly looking around and looking for outfit, looking for talent, this, that and the other thing. And I just because again it all comes back to because I couldn't win I feel like, maybe if I thought I just because, again like it all comes back to because I couldn't win, like I feel like maybe if I thought I could, that I would have looked around a little bit more. And because, like naturally, like I I'm not I have definitely struggled with like the looking around thing. Like naturally, I think in normal life I would have been like looking at everybody else.
Speaker 3:I'm like, even in my job today, sometimes you have to fight those feelings of like, oh, why did she get this and I didn't? Or why did that person get that opportunity? And like my, my thing is different. And like you have to like rein yourself in from those thoughts and realize like, oh, like I'm doing just fine and that environment is ripe for that and it just because I was so freed up, I just was doing that less and it made it easier for me to like be myself, make friends, like you know, like really go for Kira, as opposed to feeling like I needed to. You know, beat somebody essentially, or be as good or better than somebody else.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely so.
Speaker 2:I guess my question to you is did it? How did it? Why did it take you 10 years to feel normal, and were there any struggles that you had during your year as Miss America? Personally, because I know it's easy from the outside, looking in, to think that everything is butterflies and rainbows, but Ray mentioned mental health. I mean, what were some things that might've happened that we didn't see from the outside? And then why did it take you 10 years to feel normal?
Speaker 3:Well, normal is well, you know, normal is boring anyway. But I, I, yeah. So the night that I crowned, betty, a former Miss America came up to me and very nonchalantly, with good intentions, completely good, like she wasn't trying to be, you know, mean or anything like that. She was like, oh, kira, don't worry, like pat me on the shoulder, she's like you're going to feel normal again in 10 years. And I just I was so angry at her in that moment that she said this to me and I was like then I think you, caught in the new Miss America too, is like you're very raw and vulnerable and like every you know this thing that has defined you for for a year it's gone and now you're just like flailing in the wind trying to figure out life post Miss America. But I just remember feeling so like having a visceral reaction to, to, to her into this, and part of it was because because I like what we were talking about with, like comparing yourselves to others, that then you start comparing yourself to the other Miss Americas and like, what have they done after Miss America? And I need to, I need to be as good or better, or get there faster or, you know, continue to to have this pace and to continue to, to make it seem like I am like. You know, I'm great.
Speaker 3:Post-miss America, I've been able to use this experience in the best way possible and like be super successful and blah, blah, blah. Like then you start to put pressure on yourself, that's like a whole successful and la la la. Like then you start to put pressure on yourself, that's like a whole. Like I lost my, like oh, I'm great thing. Like in those in those immediate like couple of years, and then then it was like not good, um, in terms of the my, my thought process. But I mean, miss America is um, as I'm sure you know, like it's a complicated thing. Everything from um, you know, social media comments, message board comments, things that people say, mostly online. Nobody would ever say any of this stuff to my face.
Speaker 3:That sort of trauma of like people not understanding you, people talking about you in a way that's like that that you you've offended them or you've done something like it like took a little while. Like you become famous overnight and all of a sudden, everyone is calling you names, they're saying that you're, they're picking apart how you look like, they're like every little thing about you and I'm a pretty like strong minded person. But like it, it'll get the best of you. And, like I do my best to not read anything, not read any comments, but sometimes inevitably it still makes its way to you and um, and not to mention like during the whole year, like you are completely beholden to the organization. They plan every single moment of your life. They beholden to the organization, they plan every single moment of your life. They um send you to things that maybe you don't want to be sent to.
Speaker 3:You end up by yourself in an Atlantic city hotel room in February where the only thing around is like fried food and, like you're, you're lonely, or you just like there's the. There are these like kind of like dark times when you're you know you're about a two days in between. These things are like, um, you know, just like having to. You know a few months in, like you're you know the honeymoon period wears off and then you are sometimes having to like manufacture that style and that Miss America experience and like you always have the tour manager in the back of your mind saying, um well, this, this will be the first, might be the first and only time this person will ever meet a Miss America. So you have to make sure to give them the Miss America experience.
Speaker 3:And like, what is the Miss America experience? It's like Disney world, like seeing Mickey Mouse, like you can't have Mickey take his head off. Like you have to be, you have to be. Hello, miss America. So nice to see you guys. Like thank you so much for coming. Like, oh my god, like it takes a lot, a lot of energy, like you do that every day for a year.
Speaker 1:I was gonna say she's still got it. Lila, did you hear that?
Speaker 3:yeah, right, I got a glimpse of it. Yeah, I can pull it out every once in a while, so I mean I work in tv, so like that's a whole different thing. Now, miss America prepared me for that. I remember I had this one appearance in Canada. Lol. Our wardrobe provider for Miss America was Canadian but we love them. They had me. I was in some little town in Calgary somewhere in Canada doing a big Canadians love Miss America.
Speaker 3:Who knew, and it was a appearance at a store, like a little store, and, um, they were having me like model outfits so I would go in the back to change and come out in a different outfit. And there was this, um, this lady that was also modeling outfits. She was probably 10 or 15 years older than me outfits. She was probably 10 or 15 years older than me and I didn't have my own changing space kind of weird, but it's fine. Like you know, what am I going to do? Like be dramatic about not having like my own changing room, like I don't care, but it was a day that I was, I was very, very tired, I was. I, for some reason, it was just like not a good mental health day for me and I would go out and do my like song and dance in the the outfit and like smile to the people that were in the store and then I would come back to change and I would just kind of like you know, like the, the robot gets turned off. You're like, oh, and this girl that was a woman that was much older than me I'm 23 at the time was also changing back there and just just like, while I'm changing it, I just need like a second to not talk to. Somebody just kept asking me questions, questions, and I just I it was kind of one of those moments where I just like couldn't turn it on for her and I just was giving her one word answers. I just like I was like, yeah, yeah, you know, I'm from this and this is what the experience you know, the same questions that we kind of always get to about Miss America. Well, I just like couldn't do it that day and then all of a sudden she got so upset with me and she was like wow, this is Miss America. I can't believe that you are the person that's supposed to be representing this Like this. Like you, this is how you treat people, blah, blah, blah. And I remember sitting there and just I just broke down sobbing in front of this lady. I was like ma'am, I don't know, I can't tell you, I don't know what to tell you right now, but I just don't have it for this. So if you want to be mad at me, I can't, I can't get there with you and she, I think that she was like taken aback and I went out. I literally put on my next shirt. I went out like wiped off, my tears went out, was like okay, like went back to the changing room sobbing, more sobbing, like the Julie the tour manager, I think um picked up something. She came back there and she was like, what's going on? I was like, it's fine, I just she made me cry, I just need a second. It's just.
Speaker 3:It was like that was just what you functioned in constantly and but so like a lot of that wears on you and then it takes 10 years of recovering from all these. Like you know, I probably have a billion little stories like that, of like this time this person made this comment about what I looked like or how I sounded, or whatever, and like finding your confidence again and finding what I want to do. What's my passion and purpose beyond being Miss America? Yeah, it just, it just took a long time for me to understand that there's this whole other life and that I could get there and like it. It just, it just took time. And this this year I was like huh, you know that, miss America, she was right. I I finally feel like settled again, like I'm not trying to compete with anybody, I'm not trying to grind, I'm not trying to like prove anything to anyone, I'm just good.
Speaker 3:And that's taken a while, so, but that's okay, oh, that hits.
Speaker 1:That really hits. Yeah, it's a really interesting like the dichotomy that we're at right now, like 10 years out, versus like the healing that Lila's going through right now and the transition, and like it's so real. I think like I can't relate to the level of this at a national level, but so much of what you're saying I'm like yeah, oh, okay, like yeah, this makes sense for me. Then, like in the last 10 years of recovering after a year as a state title holder, even it's, it's um, it's really indescribable the experience, and I think that's why the sisterhood gets to be so strong, because there's not a lot of people that can relate to what you've been through as a Miss America.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like you mentioned, we had a great class and some of those girls have become like know, like family and but I was so funny like I never saw miss america competition as like competing against the other girls. I always thought of miss america as golf. When you're competing against yourself and you're trying to get the best score for you, uh, because miss america or any project, is a crapshoot. You don't know what the judges are looking for, you don't know what they're charged with or the scoring or whatever. So you just got to do the best and hope for what you because, like, just because I think somebody else has got all these things or is great or whatever, blah, blah that they could be not what the judges are looking for. So, like, who cares if she's got this like awesome liquid beaded dress? Like who cares? I, I, I might have the thing that they are looking for.
Speaker 3:I don't know how I got there, but yeah, I don't know. Yeah, it's been, it's been a a wild 10 years and I'm very lucky to have had golf. Honestly, um, because it it gave me an anchor in something else and it like gave me something to focus on and like build goals around and like have these strengths that I could develop and I have learned so much and doing and like it's taken me a long time to kind of develop that career because I didn't have any traditional journalism experience. I didn't like go through local news and get reps. That way I kind of learned on the fly and was really really thrown into it like a fight or flight situation and thankfully I've been able to get to where I am now. But I wouldn't have had that door open for me were it not for North America.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so let's talk about that, because earlier I talked about like perfect timing, right, and so like, if we look back at our lives and see all the things that we've had to overcome or where we've had to like take a, but there are moments that I've noticed in my life, especially in the last 10 years, especially in the last couple of years, but looking back over the last 10 years is how much of that just kind of all came together in perfect timing and it was things that, like, I would never have imagined turning out to be the way that they did. And so if we go back to like your NBC sports article that you talked about, like that, that comp, that brief conversation with Rodney, the head of security at Miss America that year, and telling him that you do in fact play golf changed your life more than Miss America did, can you talk about that?
Speaker 1:a little bit Elaborate yeah.
Speaker 3:So, um, if anyone hasn't read it, it was basically me talking about how golf has helped me over the last 10 years. Find the, the thing that would be my next step post miss america, and rodney is the security director for miss america. He's also the security director for golf tournament on the developmental tour, for the pga tour, and they have an event every year where they invite celebrities, um, and they're always looking for more female celebrities to play in the event, and now there are a ton that play golf, but at the time, like they were really, um, like struggling to find women that were willing to play in these events with celebrities. So, rodney, I think when he he I think he had told me that he had asked every Miss America every year if they played golf so that he could try and get them into the event, and I was the first one that said yes, and so he was like so excited I didn't think anything of it. When Rodney asked me that then, and then I ended up playing in the event. And then that one thing leads to another. Golf Channel interviews me, I start getting all these golf appearance requests.
Speaker 3:I then continued to build on that after Miss America, but the reason it changed my life more than Miss America ever could was because Miss America is one year and it cracked the door open. But having had that experience with golf, that first time, that's what really kicked it wide open for me in developing what I would then go on to do for life, and that's been such a gift. And saying yes has been a real strength for me. I think I've always tried to. If you say yes, you never know who you're going to meet there. You never know what experience you're going to get out of it, within reason and with boundaries. But my policy for the last 10 years has been to say yes as much as possible and to show up and to develop my skills and to work really hard. And, you know, sometimes maybe a bit to my detriment, but that particular yes was one that would take me way out of my comfort zone. I didn't, I had no idea what I'd gotten myself into, but it gave me so much purpose and passion for what.
Speaker 3:I do now, and you know, Mrs Merrick is life-changing, but that was a completely different level.
Speaker 1:We are going to we're going to link the article in the episode description, um, along with, like your other social handles and stuff too, um. So, yeah, definitely check out that article. I read it before before we sat down today too, and just really well done, and I think just goes to show like exactly what we've been talking about this whole hour and we talk about on almost every other episode of Sash and Soul, which is that, like, pageants should be fun but they're not your life and um, and also just the importance of following your own gut and knowing who you are and letting that lead you. So what's next? What's next for you?
Speaker 3:I don't know. That's a great question. I mean I'm still going to continue, I think, to work in what I'm doing right now. I hope that that's the case. You know, show business is show business. You never know what could happen. I always say that my backup plan is I can just open a burrito shop that's got coffee and flowers too, and that's that's like I'm good Interesting. Well, you know, don't you ever go to like a place for coffee Like you wish that they had like a quick, small burrito, not a giant one, a small one that's like good protein carbs yeah, just like that's what you need quickly.
Speaker 3:Sorry, this is my side. Protein carbs yeah, just like that's what you eat quickly.
Speaker 2:Um sorry, this is my side. What would you call it? Collectivo is a coffee shop in Wisconsin that has those little burritos that you're talking about, was obsessed with them throughout college and that's like one of the things that I miss now that I'm not in Wisconsin. But yeah, it's a thing. I hear you, yeah, yeah, I think I would just call it Kira coffee.
Speaker 3:We love some alliteration.
Speaker 2:But you know.
Speaker 3:So to stay tuned for that. This is not an actual business plan I have right now, but if any of your listeners are like, yeah, we would be into that, then hit me up. But I want to keep growing with what I've got in NBC right now, maybe cover some new sports and, um, be kind of okay also with feeling a little bit more settled and not feeling like I need to be Always on the road, constantly grinding, trying to prove something post Miss America, trying to do any of that sort of stuff. I feel very comfortable with having let a lot of that go, which defined probably the first like five years of being post Miss America, because you just, you know the world or the world doesn't put those expectations on you. You put those expectations on you because you are, you know, perceiving that that is reality, when in fact it's just not. So I'm good, I'm happy with just being Kira and that's just not.
Speaker 2:So I'm good, I'm happy with just being Kira, and that's my plan. Before we go, my journalist bug is itching. Can we end on what you're doing right now? Can you kind of give us a day in the life of what it looks like behind the scenes as a broadcast reporter nationally?
Speaker 3:Yes, Okay, so I work for Golf Channel and NBC. My role primarily is as the news reporter for two shows we have on Golf Channel called Golf Central and Golf Today. So I cover between 16 and 20 PGA Tour events or majors or a few women's events throughout the year for them. And I also just finished working at the Olympics for the first time where I was a sports desk reporter for NBC. So the sports desk position is essentially the reactive body of the Olympics reporting experience. So not every sport has a dedicated reporter.
Speaker 3:So if all of a sudden somebody is going to be meddling for the US in taekwondo or water polo or rowing, for the US in taekwondo or water polo or rowing, they send a sports desk reporter to come to that day's competition in hopes that there will be an American medal story. So you would find out generally the night before or the morning of, or sometimes 15 minutes before, like oh, there might be this great medal story. We need to send a reporter. They would send me, or there was like a pool of us or a few others as well. Um, and then we also did like these awesome features and stories. So I was bopping around paris doing stories on like the history of french cafes, the history of the french fray. I got to go to the stad de france, which is where they did the track and field competitions, and do a whole thing on like how the timing technology works on on those competitions. Like shoot the starting gun, um at at the track and field competitions, so like just you know what, just really really cool fun stuff.
Speaker 3:Um, I love sports, I love reporting on sports, I love um the um. It's kind of got a pageantry to it, which is probably why I'm drawn to it. I love being a person that they're like watching somebody achieve their dreams and winning. I don't know how you guys, I feel like this is a pageant person thing, but like whenever somebody wins, I cry. It's like you know I, I imagine like you know the song playing in the background, like you know the, the crowning song, like all that. But like they like won a golf tournament, so it's not that's not happening, but like I see it as like it's like you, you did it, like you, you achieved your dream and I just have this, you know, very, I guess, pageanty, glittery approach to when somebody wins. It makes me really happy and I think that's why I love sporting sports.
Speaker 1:It's like your nervous system bringing you back to when that experience happened for you.
Speaker 3:Yes, exactly, exactly. What's the name song? Miracles happen. Well, yeah, that's every time somebody wins. That's the song I was like oh and the confetti, yeah, there you go.
Speaker 1:I love it. Oh my gosh, this has been amazing. That's very very niche.
Speaker 2:I'm like yes.
Speaker 1:Okay, this has been so much fun and I wish we could keep talking, but I want to be, you know, cognizant of your time, of course too, but I want to give you the last word for today, and is there anything that you would like to share with our Sash and Soul audience, the listeners that have tuned in?
Speaker 3:journey and people that I've met along the way. It was the single most bizarre, wonderful, complicated, intense, magical thing I've ever gotten to do, and it had like every single day since Miss America has come up. Every day, no matter like my cameraman at work will be like, hey, miss America or I have a conversation like this or like it just in some way. You know, my crown is sitting on my bookshelf, like you know, it's like it's always been, it's. It becomes like a part of who you are. But it is not everything, and so my big piece of advice is always you know it's, it is not the end. All be all.
Speaker 3:You, when you're competing, are generally quite young. There is so much life left ahead and this will be a wonderful thing that can help shape you and mold you and give you wonderful experiences, and those are the things that make you, you, you, you. But it's not everything, and it's been something I'm so proud of. But I'm also so proud of everything I've been able to do since, and that's probably what I'm most proud of is having finally gotten to a place where I can, just as I said, just be Kira grateful, but just be Kira. But it was fun. I mean we love Miss America. It was great.
Speaker 1:Yes, you were an incredible Miss America and so much fun to talk with today and I get to see you again in like a week and a half, so, looking forward to that, you're going to be there, right?
Speaker 3:I think. So I think I might just go for the Saturday. I might have to be in New York the week leading up to it, so I'm either going to come straight from New York or I don't know what's happening next week, but I'm going to do my best to be there on just the one day at least.
Speaker 1:All right. Well, hopefully we'll see you at the, or I will see you at the Miss America 2015 reunion. Happy 10 years. Thank you so much for being here.
Speaker 2:Yes, Thank you.
Speaker 3:Kira. Thanks, guys, and good for you for like creating this and a great place for conversation, and I'm sure that I probably would have benefited from a lot of these types of conversations back in the day, so, uh, so it's great, we appreciate you saying that.
Speaker 1:All right, you take care. Thanks again. Bye, bye ladies, bye, everyone Talk to you next time.
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