#45 Crowned & Candid: Kaylee Wolfensberger, Miss Montana 2024

What really happens after the crown goes on and the cameras stop? In this brand new series, Crowned & Candid, I’m sitting down with Kaylee Wolfensberger, Miss Montana 2024, to talk about the realities of state titleholder life; the stuff most people don’t see.

Kaylee is only 20 and went into Miss Montana just planning to get some experience. She wasn’t expecting to win, and that pressure-free mindset? It allowed her to show up fully as herself… and walk away with the crown. But with that win came a crash course in doing it all—often alone.

Unlike titleholders from bigger states with teams and budgets, Kaylee handles everything on her own. She’s scheduling appearances, driving hours across rural Montana, managing her initiative, creating content, going to college full-time, and working a job to fund her Miss America prep. It’s a lot. The mental load is heavy, the learning curve is steep, and the growth? Whew. It’s real.

She’s also super honest about what didn’t go as planned—like her piano performance at Miss America. But instead of letting that define her, she found new perspective and turned her focus to growing the Miss Montana program for the next generation.

Kaylee’s initiative, Healing Harmonies, brings music education to underserved kids—work that’s personal to her because music was her safe space during a difficult time. Some of the kids she visits will only meet one person in a crown all year… and that person is her.

This conversation is raw, real, and full of wisdom for anyone curious about what it actually takes to wear the crown. If you’re a titleholder, a pageant hopeful, or just someone who appreciates honest leadership stories—you’ll want to tune in.

Subscribe now for more behind-the-scenes stories from the women who lived it, right here on Sash & Soul.

Chapters

• 0:56 Introducing Crowned and Candid Series
• 3:27 Meet Kaylee Wolfensberger, Miss Montana 2024
• 5:23 Unexpected Win and Competition Mindset
• 10:58 Growing Confidence as a Title Holder
• 18:53 Managing Solo Responsibilities and Challenges
• 27:12 Healing Harmonies: Meaningful Community Service
• 36:46 Learning from Setbacks and Failures
• 49:15 Life After the Crown
• 58:51 Final Words of Wisdom

Transcript

Raeanna Johnson: 0:28

Hello everyone, welcome back to Sash and Soul. I feel like I say this every time, but you guys, I'm so excited. I'm so excited because we have a brand new series that we are officially launching. This is the debut episode of the Crowned and Candid series about pulling back the curtain on the state title holder experience to offer something that we rarely get in pageantry, which is real talk from real women in the role right now. So we're going to have candid conversations with current title holders and so we can give you the most honest, unfiltered look at what it really means to wear the crown not just the stage photos and the social media highlights, but the behind the scenes work, the emotional growth, the leadership challenges and, of course, all of the unexpected lessons that are going to come with the job. So this series of Crowned and Candid is all about education and preparation.

Raeanna Johnson: 1:24

As a coach, I work with women all the time that are looking to aspire to be the state or national title holder, and so we get a lot of ideas in our head of what that actually looks like, and perfectionism seems to creep in and we put the title holder up on a pedestal like it's something impossible to achieve, and so I want to pull back the curtains on that so that you can see this is attainable, this is realistic, and it's a matter of working really hard to hone in on your skills so that when you get the job, if you are blessed with the job, you can do the best at that job but not perfectly, because none of us are.

Raeanna Johnson: 1:58

So we're going to dive into that today with our very first crowned and candid guest. This is Miss Montana 2024, kaylee Wolfensberger, and she. I ask each of my guests really what they want the audience to hear from them, and so, just before I give her the mic here, here's what she said. She wants to make sure all of you understand that being a title holder is so much more than putting on a dress and walking across the stage. It takes strength, it takes resilience and it takes dedication. So I'm really excited to hear Kaylee's story today and to bring that to light for all of you as well. Kaylee, hi, welcome.

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 2:37

Hi, thank you for having me. I'm so excited, I'm so glad you're here.

Raeanna Johnson: 2:41

Can you tell us just a little bit about yourself outside of pageantry? Give us a little bit of a rundown of who you are, how you got to be where you are today.

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 2:59

Yeah, well, my name is Kaylee Wolfensberger. I'm Miss Montana 2024. I am currently attending college at Montana State University, where I'm studying business marketing and getting a minor in small business and entrepreneurship, and I really want to work in the professional sports industry hopefully the NFL, maybe focusing on athlete representation or promotion or leaning more into the community relations side. I've had experience in both this year and I really like both, so I'm really excited to step into that and, after I give up my crown, to focus on graduating college and stepping into that. I'm 20 years old.

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 3:30

I grew up a competitive dancer and playing the piano, so I was always looking for ways to kind of showcase my talents and that's kind of why I stepped into pageantry. I also grew up watching my mom volunteer in the Miss America system, helping at the local and state levels, and I never foresaw myself being a state title holder and going to Miss America. I competed once when I was young and it was not great and I kind of gave up on that idea. And then this year was my first time competing in Miss and what sparked it is I just always wanted to do something bigger than myself and I think that pageantry is a great way for you to get your foot in the door in professional and personal relations and aspects. So that's kind of what sparked it for me.

Raeanna Johnson: 4:19

Yeah, I love that sentiment, that idea of like being part of something so much bigger than yourself, because I'm sure we'll talk about it today, but like a common theme lately for me in conversations with my clients has been like this isn't about you, this is about the bigger picture, this is about the service that you're providing and what you can bring to the table to influence something on a greater scale, on a greater level. So I love that sentiment. I definitely lived by that when I was competing too. So, okay, let's rewind to crowning night, miss Montana 2024. What was going through your mind that night?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 4:58

I did not think I was going to win. I think a lot of people say that, but I genuinely did not think I was going to win. I signed up to compete in my state pageant because we don't do locals here in Montana two months before state happened and I had a lot of self-doubt and thinking that I was too young to be competitive in the Miss category. But I truly believe the best way to get better at something is to just do it.

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 5:23

So why not compete and get better and hopefully work up to having the state title, was my thought. Um, so before crowning I was writing my thank you cards to my director saying thanks so much, I'm excited to come back next year. Fully did not expect it. And then, when they were handing out awards, I had won two of their preliminary awards and I was like, oh wait, ok, maybe I did a little better than I thought. Maybe I'm going to actually place, do a little better, and then it just kept taking down. Maybe I'm going to actually place, do a little better. And then it just kept taking down. And I knew that I had to place, so I knew that there was a possibility. So my mind was going crazy during the crowning moment. But afterwards I just looked for my mom in the crowd, because this is kind of something that we've always done together and it was just crazy to have won the state title and get to like, have that moment with my mom that we were going to Miss America.

Raeanna Johnson: 6:18

So yeah, isn't that the craziest realization. After the crown and sash are placed on your head, like that moment, you're like, oh man, the next step is Miss America. This is crazy. So, in hindsight, what do you think that like? How do you think that that influenced your performance at competition? This idea that, like you, were going to do it for the practice and come back the next year with, you know, intentions of, of really going for the crown.

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 6:46

I still wanted to portray the best version of myself on stage, so I still worked really hard. Because you don't compete, because you don't want to win, you know you want to stage. So I still worked really hard. Because you don't compete, because you don't want to win, you know you want to win. So I competed like I wanted to win, but I didn't have fear of not winning and feeling disappointed with myself, because I knew that I had eight more years to compete if I wanted to. And this was all about building myself into a better person. And actually that night I didn't do super well with my onstage question and my talent was subpar in my opinion. And so when we did evening out and fitness, I just like, just have fun, like this is the most fun part of competition. You know, I just get to be myself and bring the energy. And those were the two preliminaries that I ended up winning, because I had taken the fear out of it at that point and just told myself to make the most of the experience.

Raeanna Johnson: 7:45

So yeah, yeah, oh my gosh, I love that. So, um, what was your interview like at State?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 7:55

I love interview. Interview is my favorite portion of competition and I feel really confident in current events and talking about my community service initiative, talking about myself, just everything in general. So I thought that my interview went really well. This was probably the most political interview that I had ever had, but I'm someone who thinks I do well with political questions, so I walked out of the interview room pretty proud of myself and feeling pretty confident. The only question that I was like oh my goodness, I bombed that is they asked me to tell them a joke, and I'm not like I have a joke in my pocket kind of girl. I consider myself pretty witty, like can think on the fly, like that, but I did not have a joke in my pocket. So that was the only thing that I think I was really disappointed about in my state interview.

Raeanna Johnson: 8:47

Well, it obviously didn't matter. I mean, the judges look at the entirety of their experience with you in that interview room, not just one question, and so you must have handled yourself really well, even if you felt like you didn't have the answer for the question, because, honestly, that's what counts. They're not going to remember specifically what you say. They're going to remember how you made them feel and what the energy was like in that room and how you handled yourself. So it obviously worked that room and how you handled yourself, so it obviously worked. Okay, there is so much growth in your year as a state title holder, as a title holder in any capacity, at any level. So can you describe who you were at the start of your year and how would you describe who you are now?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 9:29

Oh, this is a loaded question for sure. Um, I've actually been talking to a lot of girls recently and this has come up a little bit is they're like you're just so confident and so extroverted. I just don't feel like I'm that type of girl. I don't think I could ever compete in pageantry. And with every girl that has said that, I say I'm a very confident version of myself now. But this is not who I was a year ago when I won Miss Montana, a little less than a year ago.

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 9:59

I think that I've had so much growth in myself. I am more confident than ever on my opinions and what I want to do after I graduate college, who I want to be and my values. And I think that when I was going into Miss Montana, I was really nervous. I thought I was really young, not experienced enough, didn't have enough education under my belt, didn't have enough community service under my belt, and I just had a lot of self-doubt. And by the time I went to Miss America, I knew that I was portraying the best version of myself I possibly could in that moment. And that's what I've tried to do even after Miss America is display the best version of myself in every appearance, in every service activity, in anything I do as Kaylee and anything I do as Miss Montana. So I think the biggest thing is that I've grown in my confidence in myself think the biggest thing is that I've grown in my confidence in myself.

Raeanna Johnson: 10:56

How would you describe showing up as at your best? Because I think we hear that a lot. Right, like I'm just going to show up as myself. I'm going to show up as the best version of myself, but what does that look like for you?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 11:06

Yeah, I think that it's really rooted in being confident in what you're bringing to the table, which can be really hard in pageantry. It's really hard to go down that rabbit hole of comparison to the other delegates within the system. And at Miss America I really had to focus on what I was bringing to the table, what I could do as Miss America, what I was doing as Miss Montana, not what so-and-so was doing in any portion of competition. So when I think about being my best self and what that meant for me is, I knew that I had practiced my piano piece as much as I could to perform for talent. I knew that I had done as many mock interviews as possible to be solid in what I was going to say in that interview room and I just had to keep going back to. You know you're prepared for what you bring to the table. Don't compare yourself to someone else in this competition and try to be above or at the same level as them.

Raeanna Johnson: 12:16

Yeah, absolutely so. Okay, let's going back to the start of your year again. What did you think the job of Miss Montana would look like and what was different once you got into it?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 12:26

Oh, my goodness, all the things that I thought would be part of Miss Montana are definitely there, but there's things that you don't realize are there and I think that Montana and several states over in the Midwest pageantry is much different over here than it is in other states and I was prepared for that, but I don't think I was prepared enough. So you hear a lot about you, have a lot of sponsors, a lot of financial help, a lot of people in your corner, but in a rural state where there's not a big population, it's actually really hard to get sponsors, it's really hard to get financial help, and I don't know if I was necessarily prepared for how much work it was going to be on my own. And I don't think that's everyone's experience because not all states are the same. But I think that there's definitely a misconception with smaller states that we have the same amount of support that other states do.

Raeanna Johnson: 13:30

So have you found any tactics that have worked and what hasn't worked?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 13:35

when it comes to finding that support, I think that people, especially in Montana, value someone who's authentic and real. They don't want a pageant body. They don't want you to put on this glamorous face outfit and portray a different version of yourself. What I have found is most effective is being the true Montana girl that I am and connecting people. Connecting with people on that level, because that's what they want to see. They want to see that I'm just. I'm just one of them, I'm just doing something big. That's been the biggest thing to help me connect with people and create those relationships.

Raeanna Johnson: 14:14

Yeah, and I think the thing we all need to remember about authenticity and truly being ourselves is that it just comes down to letting go of what we think other people think of us or what we think other people are looking for in us. I was talking to someone the other day about value and how we kind of determine what value we bring to the table based off of what we're passionate about, what we're skilled at, where our intellect lies, where our talents lie, and I think so often in pageantry we get caught up in worrying about whether or not the judges are going to see those things as valuable, and that carries over into being the title holder as well that we get concerned that the people that were around with the crown and sash on are going to have some expectation of us. But as soon as we can drop our concerns about what other people may or may not expect of us, that's when the shield comes down and we just get to be ourselves. Would you say that that was a lot of your experience too?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 15:18

Yeah, absolutely. Again, you struggle so hard as a title holder with comparison and I compared myself to former Miss Montanas. I compared myself to other title holders and it's just self-destructive and it wasn't getting me any farther. So it's so important to just be candid and be yourself, and that's what's going to make your connections.

Raeanna Johnson: 15:42

So scary to be candid though? Why do you think it's so scary for us to be candid sometimes?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 15:47

I think pageantry has a really long history of portraying a very glamorous, has a really long history of portraying a very glamorous, glamorous and polished person. Oh, my goodness, glamorous and polished person. And I just don't think that's the case. We are regular people at the end of the day. I'm a student going to school, I have a job and I miss Montana. But I think that that stigma comes from a really long line of perfect women in the media, and not that you're not perfect. That's where we're getting things mixed up, and I think it's so hard to be candid in pageantry because you think that people want a perfect, polished version of yourself and that's just not the case. They want to see an authentic girl. They want to see the girl next door. I think of Abby Stockard or Miss America. Right now, she is the sweetest human and I think that comes across and I think that's why she won is because she shows that authenticity and she shows that she's just America's girl.

Raeanna Johnson: 16:56

I don't think authenticity is something you even have to try to do. It's something that you are able to just uncover when you let go of these other expectations and theories about what perfect looks like or what other people are looking for 100%. Was there a moment early on in your year that it hit you that this was real life for you for 365 days?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 17:26

Maybe yes and no. I think that I did a pretty good job at balancing my life enough. But when I was preparing for Miss America, obviously I sacrificed a lot. I sacrificed time with friends, I sacrificed a social life, lots of different things, and there would be nights where I would come home from a day of appearances and then I had to go to school and then go to work and then come home and go to the gym and then go to work and then come home and go to the gym and practice piano and I would just lay in bed, exhausted because I want to do so well as Miss Montana. But at the end of the day, I'm also a human, I'm tired and I think those nights I was like, oh my gosh, like this is life and you're, you're exhausted, but it's also you're so happy because you're like this is such a full day. But I think that preparing for Miss America, there were lots of times that I was like, oh my gosh, this is going to be a busy year.

Raeanna Johnson: 18:25

Yeah, Would you? Would you do anything differently?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 18:31

I think that I would have asked for help more. I think that a lot of women in pageantry are really focused on being a very strong and confident woman and I think sometimes it's hard to be vulnerable when you're struggling being a title holder, especially a state title holder, because you don't want people to think you're not grateful. You don't want people to think you're not grateful, you don't want people to think that you're not worthy of the title and asking for help kind of feels like a cop out. And I think that I struggled with that mindset a lot leading up to Miss America. I wish that I had just told, like my board, my mom, my friends, a little more, I just need help with this. Like, please help me with this, this and this, and I think that I would have felt a lot better.

Raeanna Johnson: 19:18

Would you mind sharing, like, if you can think of any of the specific things that you wish you would have asked for help for, because I have a very similar experience when I was going to Miss America, for, like, as you're talking, I'm like nodding my head vigorously, like verbatim, like, yes, that was me thinking that I needed to have it all together, at least from the outside, looking in, and so you know, I've done some reflection on, like, what did I actually need help with that people could have helped me with? And do you have an idea for you of, like, looking back, what those specific areas would be?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 19:50

One that's kind of specific to where I live. The region of where I live in Montana is everything is like an hour and a half apart. Every city that I would drive to is an hour and a half apart and we don't have travel companions. So I just always was really exhausted driving myself. I was really exhausted trying to ask strangers like hey, can you take this picture, just so you would have something to post on social media. And I think that people don't realize that that is exhausting to try and think of how you're going to get somewhere by yourself and then how you're going to make sure you get content to post in an era where that's so important and there's no one to do it for you. And I wish that I would have just been more open with my friends, like, can you please come with me to this event and just take pictures for me? I think that that would have taken a huge off my shoulders because I think that it caused me a lot of stress to do everything on my own.

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 20:52

A little more targeted to kind of pageantry. In general, I was exhausted looking for outfits for Miss America. I wish that I had just asked for more help in that area. I've been like can you please find me a tea party dress? You look at so many things and eventually it's so exhausting, so I wish that I would have just asked for people help to pick out my wardrobe.

Raeanna Johnson: 21:19

So what I'm hearing from you is just the mental load and I think that's a difficult area to ask for help in, because how is somebody going to help you unload that mental weight that you carry of all the responsibilities and the managing your time and the logistics of getting to where you need to be and doing what you need to do when you're there and purchasing all the outfits that you need and staying on top of it? That's a really difficult thing to navigate, like, how do you ask for help in those areas?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 21:53

You know what I? Mean yeah it's tough, for sure.

Raeanna Johnson: 21:57

Yeah, and it's. That's one of the things I think that you just don't think about, like how would you mentally prepare for that type of an experience? But it does exist and I so I think the message that you know everyone could take away from that is understand that that's normal and that so many women experience that on their way to any level of competition, but especially going to Miss America, and this year for the new state title holders that are going to be going to Miss America in like two to three months after they're crowned, understand that what you're going through is normal and so try to normalize and validate what you're experiencing and, yeah, do find ways to try and ask for help in those spaces For sure. So how did preparing for Miss America differ from your prep for Miss Montana?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 22:48

When I was preparing for Miss Montana. Obviously, like I said before, I wasn't necessarily expecting to win, but I was trying to portray the best version of myself in those moments. So I was working hard when I competed for state but kind of my thought was, oh, next year I'll just do a better piano piece, or next year I'll pick out a better dress. Not that it not that what I brought to the stage was subpar, like not worthy of a stage talent or worthy of a stage dress. But I just had that idea of, oh, I'll just do better next year. Well, obviously that that wasn't the case and I was like, okay, well, we have to do better for Miss America now. So the prep picked up quite a bit. I chose a much more difficult song to play at Miss America. So my talent prep was insane. I was practicing anywhere from an hour to two hours a day on my piano piece and then doing mock interviews whenever.

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 23:52

I could and on top of it all of this, I was going to school and working a job, because in the Montana organization we don't have the funding to pay me enough to not have a job, so I had to work so I could go to Miss America. Granted, I had a lot of help from my parents and I'm forever grateful for that, but I had to pick up some of the slack, and that's not the case with everyone, so that was a completely different experience against from state as well. But I think the biggest thing that was different is I knew that this was my once in a lifetime chance. You only get to compete at Miss America once. So I was giving everything I had to my prep because, even if I didn't win, I didn't want to feel like I lacked in any area of competition what were the biggest, what was, what was or what were the biggest lessons or unexpected challenges that you encountered competing for Miss America?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 24:59

Oh, um, not necessarily that this was at Miss.

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 25:03

America. But I was really encouraged not to play a specific piano piece that I really wanted to play Miss America. I was told that it was too slow, too boring and I was highly advised against it. And I picked a song that I knew was going to challenge me a lot. Technically I play Great Balls of Fire. It's very fast, it's very upbeat and I play piano for 12 years and I've never been super great at upbeat piano pieces.

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 25:34

But against my better judgment, I chose to play that song and I wish that I wouldn't have. I wish that I would have stuck to what I knew and unfortunately, at Miss America the nerves got the better of me and I think that my lack of confidence in my piano skills got the better of me and I messed up my talent at Miss America and like that was just heart wrenching to practice that for so many hours and not perform the way I wanted to perform and not perform the way I wanted to perform. So I think that that was a huge mishap on my part at Miss America and something I was not expecting to happen.

Raeanna Johnson: 26:24

I had a similar experience, not that someone told me to do something different, but I did not have a good interview at Miss America, and so that that feeling of like this is your one and only chance, and then it's done and it just wasn't what you had imagined it to be and wanted it to be, is really heartbreaking. So how did you handle the emotional, like letdown or aftermath after coming home from Miss America? Now that it's like done?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 26:58

When people bring it up it definitely still hurts in the heart a little bit, but something really cool that happened. That, I think, helps me feel a little better about this situation. So Nikki Sixx he's part of the band Motley Crue was at Miss America. His wife is Courtney Sixx. She does the flowers for Miss America she's Bouquet Box, a sponsor that they have and I actually ended up running into her at the expo and I had my sash on and she was like oh my gosh, like I loved your talent.

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 27:31

And I was like oh my gosh, like I loved your talent. And I was like oh, like I just was really disappointed in myself. I don't think that I played how I wanted to play. I messed up pretty bad and she was like but me and my husband were so impressed, you picked it right back up and that's like a great attribute of a true musician. I and I was like okay, well, you know what, If one of the greatest musicians of all time thinks that I picked up and showed somewhat of a true musician, then okay, I'll take it, Because it was a huge mess up for me.

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 28:06

And at first I was like okay, well, I just messed up one of the biggest songs in rock and roll in front of music legend Nikki Sixx. But I'll take it. And they also. They loved my outfit and my hair. I've gotten so many compliments from tons of different people about my outfit and my hair for talent, so you know there's little things that I was like. Okay, like you know what, maybe I messed up the song, I would have liked to play the song better, but at least people love something about it. So that's kind of just the attitude I have to have. You can't dwell on it. You can't sit here and pick yourself apart for not performing the way you wanted to perform, Because, let's remember, like you just went to Miss America, you got that far. Be proud of getting that far.

Raeanna Johnson: 28:54

That's really hard, though that was really hard for me. After coming back from Miss America, too, was it very much like I felt this I don't know, you know expectation that I was just supposed to be grateful and happy that I was there, but I was also grieving. I was also like it was a very push and pull, and so I think for you and for anyone that might be experiencing that similar like that letdown or that hang of of you know heartache when someone brings it up, when this is a goal that you worked so hard for and now you'll never be able to go after it again, I think what I have learned in the last decade it's been a decade since I competed is that you get to live in the and you get to be very proud of getting there and being there and the honor that that is and making history, and you get to grieve the loss of this dream that you'll never get to go after again. I think that's really important, but I really appreciate you sharing that, because I think that that's something that we from the outside really don't see.

Raeanna Johnson: 29:59

You come back from Miss America. You pick up where you left off as a state title holder. You keep doing appearances. We see all your stuff on social media media and we just don't always think about like, unless you've been there, you don't necessarily think about kind of the roller coaster of processing that happens after you get back from that once in a lifetime experience. So I really appreciate you being candid about that.

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 30:23

Yeah, and it's really hard, like you said, for people from the outside to see that and to see the pure exhaustion that you feel after you get home from Miss America, like, yes, it's a crazy week, but you just worked for months for this. And I think that I definitely had comments. People were like, well, you're not really doing appearances and you've been back for a week. Granted, yes, like I should be doing appearances, but let's remember, like I've been working so hard for this moment I have, like you said, time to grieve the fact that it didn't work out the way I wanted to and like, let me rest for a minute, let me decompress, because that's huge and and I also don't want to go out and do appearances when I'm not ready to do it. I'm not going to go portray myself in a way that's not who I am, this exhausted, beat down person of myself.

Raeanna Johnson: 31:16

So so you took some time to rest, just a beat. How was it getting back out there then after that?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 31:26

Oh, it was hard. I think that for probably the first month I really struggled with okay, well, kind of what am I supposed to do? I'm still just tried to jump back in, but I think that I needed to maybe reevaluate my goals after nationals was done and I think that girls also have a hard time doing that after state is done reevaluating what you want the rest of your year to look like. So I think that I struggled there quite a bit.

Raeanna Johnson: 32:10

Yeah, we talk about in preparation. I don't know if you did much of this before Miss Montana, but, like for me, when I was preparing, and what I work with my clients on too, was like what is, what's your game plan, what's your 30, 60, 90? What you know, what are your quarterly goals for your year? And really ironing that out, because once you get back from Miss America, it's like all right, the world is your oyster, so to speak, the year is your oyster. What are you going to do with it? And having some level of ideas, some kind of a plan, but also, after processing and all of that and figuring out, how will I make the most out of this? Last?

Raeanna Johnson: 32:51

For you, six months, I believe, right, about six months after Miss America, and for me it was nine months because I competed in September and now the next class will also be competing in September and they'll have nine months left. So I think that preparation time and the mindset building up to Miss America is incredibly important, because that's such a huge highlight of your year. But then planning for the rest of that and the whirlwind of OK, where do I, where do I go from here, what do I do next? So, so what, what, what do you feel like you have really accomplished since, since coming back from Miss America? What are you really proud of for your year?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 33:28

I'm really proud of the image I portrayed for Montana at Miss America. I've had a lot of compliments and comments of how well I represented our state and that's huge for me, because we're a small state, we're a struggling pageant state, it's hard to recruit girls, but we have had a huge jump in numbers this year and I do believe that a lot of that has come from my presence on social media, specifically during Miss America Week, highlighting what a wonderful experience this is and getting girls engaged that way and then also making those one-on-one connections with girls. I think it's been really valuable and I'm really proud of myself for that.

Raeanna Johnson: 34:16

Yeah, that is really great. What do you think has kept girls from competing in Montana?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 34:21

I just don't think that we have had enough face time. Necessarily. I don't think that people really know what pageantry is. So that's why I think it was so important for me to be on social media so heavily this year because we're in a digital age. It's how people get a lot of their information. So I was portraying not only a true Montana girl, but also Miss Montana, miss American how amazing this experience can be, and I think that that's what really stood out.

Raeanna Johnson: 34:52

Yeah, Okay. So since we're kind of diving into the business side and the work of the title holder, how involved were you in like the professional aspects of your role, like the booking and the booking fees or the appearance fees or scheduling, like all the things? Like how involved were you in all of that?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 35:18

I did it all myself. I think that, again, this is something that comes from being from a smaller pageant state. We don't have a booking agent, we don't have a travel companion, we have a very small board and unfortunately, during my year, my board went through a lot of changes. We have a new executive director as of recently, so I was dealing with a board that was trying to change and revamp all while I was trying to be Miss Montana and I booked every appearance myself.

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 35:48

I don't get paid for my appearances. I don't get paid for my appearances. I we just don't live in a state where people really put a value on spending money for Miss Montana to be there. Some people do. I'll say that I've been paid for one appearance and they reached out to me and then I have also been reached out to again and they're paying for my travel expenses. So those are the only two appearances that I have had any compensation for, and I don't think people understand that's how our smaller states work. So I was heavily involved in the business side of being Miss Montana. But, yes, it was hard. But I also am really grateful because I'm a business student and I want to work in business. So I think this has been a huge eye-opener because I handled the marketing side of myself, the booking side, some of the financial side, and I did have a board who helped me fill out my paperwork and get my copyright and that sort of situation. But when it came down to just being Miss Montana, I did it all myself.

Raeanna Johnson: 36:57

How did you look for appearances and go about booking yourself for those appearances to stay busy?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 37:02

This has been a really hard part of my year is getting the confidence to send people a message asking if you can be at their event and that's been so hard for me because it's like, can I, can I come to this event, Can I come be present for this?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 37:19

And you just you feel awkward asking and it's really hard, but if I want the program to grow I had to do it. So that was hard to navigate and I really tried to put more of an emphasis on service. So I wasn't just saying, hey, can I come attend this event for free, I was saying, hey, can I come help out at this event. So most of the events I've done I'm doing some form of service. I'm not just like there for the face value, I'm like helping set up, helping take down, working with kids, something along those lines.

Raeanna Johnson: 37:57

Providing more value to the event itself, which, yeah, is definitely powerful and, I think, a lot of people. It depends on the state, of course, as you're mentioning, like each state kind of has a different unique culture to things, but I think were you surprised at how many people were like, oh my gosh, we'd love to have you as Miss Montana? Did that help boost your confidence at all?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 38:20

Yeah, when people asked like for me to come to things or mentioned me coming to things, I was like oh my gosh, yes, I would love to do that, Like thank you for asking me and not making me ask you. So I think that definitely boosted my confidence and also just helped me feel a little more confident when I did have to ask to be at things, because when I went to those events that I asked I would make those connections and have people ask me.

Raeanna Johnson: 38:45

So how did you get past feelings of it being like personal, that they didn't want you there, if you were ever denied?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 38:55

honestly I can't honestly say that I am over it sometimes when people are like oh no, like we're fine, like it is kind of like hurtful. They're not meaning to be hurtful, but they just don't like. It's kind of not that kind of event or whatever it is. So you know I wouldn't say that I'm over it.

Raeanna Johnson: 39:15

That's fair and so honest and real. I appreciate that so much. So were you given any kind of unexpected business responsibilities, like, did you expect all of that? Did you get any unexpected responsibilities that you kind of had to learn as you went?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 39:34

I didn't expect to be booking so many appearances on my own, and I think that is what contributed heavily to my exhaustion that we talked about earlier leading up to Miss America, because I was booking my own appearances, going to them by myself and then doing everything else on top of it. So I think that contributed a lot to my exhaustion.

Raeanna Johnson: 40:00

Were you expected to book this many appearances, or was this something that you wanted to do?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 40:05

No, I have an appearance requirement in my contract that I had to meet, so when I signed my contract, I was expecting a little bit more help to meet that expectation. So that was definitely hard. But, like I said earlier, we went through a lot of changes this year and so I can't completely blame it on one person or anything like that. But I just hope that for the next title holder. No-transcript.

Raeanna Johnson: 40:39

Can you share at all as much as you're comfortable about how you handled any kind of miscommunication or conflict resolution with the board of directors as all these changes were going on?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 40:50

I was really lucky to have some very awesome people in my corner, and one of those was my mom, and when things went wrong, I called my mom a lot and she was really someone who helped talk me down when I was upset and helped me lay out a plan of how to approach things differently. I'm also someone that really believes in having honest communication, so I don't want it sugarcoated.

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 41:17

I don't sugarcoat things when I have a problem and I think that when I talked to my board, I was very honest. I said I need more help with this or I would like to see this, and I just was upfront and I think that's the best way to handle it is doing so with grace and doing so with honesty.

Raeanna Johnson: 41:37

Let's segue into your community service initiative. I'm excited to hear more about it. So can you tell us about what your community Service Initiative and like how it even evolved throughout your reign, if at all?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 41:49

Yeah, so my Community Service Initiative is called Healing Harmonies and it's about providing underfunded youth with access to music education. And it stems from my personal experience of using music to cope with a very traumatic event that I dealt with at a young age, and music is what brought me out of my funk. I struggled really hard with feeling emotions after this event and when I sat at the piano that's when things started to click for me and heal for me and I just knew that was so important. So it kind of stems from that story, but also in connection with children living in impoverished communities. Children living in poverty are nine times more likely to experience trauma than their wealthier peers.

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 42:32

So I knew that there was a need for assistance in that area, especially in my own community, Bozeman. Montana has a poverty rate of 14.7%, which is higher than the state and the national rate. So I knew when I developed my community service initiative that I wanted it to be very forward and really something that I could take initiative on. So that's why I ended up segueing into providing music for underfunded youth, because that's what healed me when I dealt with a traumatic experience. So it's very personal to me and I'm just really grateful that I've had the opportunity to communicate that with the Montana community nationally.

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 43:20

But I think that throughout my year when I developed this, when I was a local title holder, it's obviously come a very long way and I think that I focused a lot on instilling a love for music with children. This year was provide more access to that music education, which kind of stems more from being in contact with adults and the funding side of things. So it's definitely evolved in that way. I still work with kids very often. I love to do my music activities with kids, but I also had to tap more into dealing with like schools and things like that and trying to get adults to understand the importance of funding our music education system.

Raeanna Johnson: 44:12

How much of your time as Miss Montana, in terms of appearances and the work that you were doing behind the scenes, was dedicated to your CSI versus general appearances?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 44:28

I would say that it was heavily towards my CSI. So I actually worked really hard to do to develop a partnership with Head Start, which is a government organization and it's essentially about preparing kids for success in school and specifically for people and families who are living below the poverty line. So I spent a lot of my year establishing that partnership and then fulfilling that partnership, visiting Head Starts across Montana and also just schools in general. Montana is a very rural state. We have a lot of underfunded communities so I was really trying to tap into those communities and provide them with that access to music education, instilling that love for music in children.

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 45:17

I wouldn't trade any of my community service appearance initiatives for something more glamorous, like speaking at a gala or anything like that.

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 45:26

Obviously I love those appearances, but I'm someone who really feels like the crown and my mission is rooted in service above all things Service style, scholarship and success I love them all but I am the most attached to the service point of the crown. So it's just been really awesome to be able to be in those communities and serve those communities, especially when these are people who don't get to see Miss Montana a lot. They're not people who have quote. Unquote quote important people come into their town, so it's a really big deal for them to see Miss Montana. And I think that when I go to these communities sometimes and I think this is really common for all title holders you're just excited to be there and you're doing your job, but you forget that this might be the only interaction these kids have with a title holder. So for you, yes, you're just meeting with a classroom, but there's a little girl in there who's going to remember the day she met Miss Montana forever and I just have loved that. I've gotten to expand my community service initiative throughout the state.

Raeanna Johnson: 46:35

Can you think of one particular, especially meaningful experience that you had?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 46:40

meaningful experience that you had. Yeah, I was talking to a school one day, a group of students, and there was a kid who was just not paying attention. He dealt with kind of a learning disorder. He didn't want really anything to do with me and I was really struggling. This was one of my first appearances. I was like what am I doing wrong? Why am I not connecting with this child? What can I do better?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 47:07

And then I just continued to work and do my thing and, like I said, I focus a lot on the music. So when I started playing music and doing the activity, I watched this student's demeanor soften, which was really special. And then I watched him kind of calm down and tap into what I was saying a little bit more and I just felt a lot more confident. And then when I got up to leave I was telling everyone goodbye. He caught me at the door and he handed me a paper and he had drawn a picture of me. So maybe in that moment I didn't feel like I was connecting with this student. I didn't feel like I was doing something right. But at the end of the day I left an impact and I think that's just super special.

Raeanna Johnson: 47:55

Those behind the scenes moments that we'll never be able to see, because you can't portray that on social media. It's something that you have to experience for yourself on the other side of it. Was there a failure that you felt or a setback during your year that ended up being a turning point for you?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 48:14

um, like I said, when I failed at my piano piece, that was kind of like a really big setback, especially at Miss America. I had to really revamp myself very quickly because I had to compete, you know, in two days after that. Um, but I think that another failure that really did cheer, as I was trying really hard to build up our scholarship fund and actually get the universities, the two state universities- in our state to give a scholarship to whoever won Miss Montana, and I put a lot of time and effort into this.

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 48:49

I mean I had laid it all out, printed out documents. I felt like I was very organized. I made meetings with people, I met with them in person. I felt like I really portrayed an honest version of myself in the program and one of the universities turned it down and I was so disappointed. That day I had a really hard time just feeling motivated to do anything because I really wanted this to work out for the next title holder, so that felt like a really big setback for me.

Raeanna Johnson: 49:22

But I just had to remind myself that there's so much more I can do and I needed to look for scholarship in other ways, and that's what I've been doing in like pageantry, is like I think we put so much pressure and like getting all these things done during that year of service, but there's so much you can do afterwards as well, and in many ways more, because you won't have all the obligations and expectations of having that crown and sash on at the same time. There's so many ways that you can contribute long-term that you started the foundation, you laid the groundwork for what could be a really significant scholarship opportunity in the future, and so that isn't necessarily a failure, like it was just a not now, but maybe not never. Yeah, absolutely. What personal strengths did you discover or develop that you didn't realize that you had before, during this year?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 50:25

I have learned that I am very mentally tough and I'm very proud of that. I had a lot of changes throughout my year, like we've talked about earlier, and there were times that I was really disappointed that this was happening during my year, was happening during my year, because you want this so bad. You get one shot at it and to have this dream that you've had set in your heart not work out the way you thought it was going to is really hard. But I have learned to not only be more mentally tough, but that I am really strong in those situations and I I'm very composed and I know that this has set me up for success in the future. But I think that it was something that I had to learn quickly, but I'm very grateful to have that skill now. Yeah.

Raeanna Johnson: 51:20

What do you hope people remember most about your year?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 51:25

I hope that when people think about me being Miss Montana, they see someone that propelled the program forward and did everything they could to do so. I don't ever want people to think about me being selfish or that I took the year to just brag about myself. I hope that people see the work that I put in to build our program because, yes, I wanted to be the Miss Montana that became Miss America but it didn't happen and you have to re-route your plan and decide how you're going to make an impact differently, and I hope that people remember that. I grew the numbers of girls who signed up. I tried to grow our scholarship foundation. I brought a new era of pageantry to the Miss Montana pageant.

Raeanna Johnson: 52:19

What have you learned that you know now that you wish you had known at the start of your year?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 52:25

This experience is 100% about you. Don't let other people change the experience for you if that's not how you want your year to be. I think that in pageantry, it's really easy to conform to what other people want you to be, and I think it's great that you're doing this podcast series to show that people are living completely different lives than you think they're living. And if you're a local title holder, a state title holder, a national title holder, whatever it is, being yourself and giving this experience what you think it deserves and being the title holder that you want to be is of the utmost importance. Don't conform to someone else's view of what they want you to be. I think that's something that I really hope girls see and that we move more towards in the future of pageantry.

Raeanna Johnson: 53:22

Has your personal definition of success changed because of this experience?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 53:27

Absolutely. I think that when I started I definitely thought that if I didn't place at Miss America that I would have been a failure. Hard with my board, I know that they really wanted me to place. They were like you're going to be our Miss Montana that gets in the top 10. Like we just know it, we can feel it, and I felt so much pressure, like it was endearing for them to say that, but it also was so much pressure and when I didn't do that I had a really hard time recovering from that experience. But I just think it's so important to remember that you have other goals with with what you're doing.

Raeanna Johnson: 54:08

Yeah, all right. So your year of service is almost behind you. When do you give up the crown? June 21st.

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 54:17

Very soon.

Raeanna Johnson: 54:18

Yes. How are you approaching your life now that, now that this year is coming to an end?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 54:26

To be completely honest, I'm really struggling with the life after the crown situation. I'm not really surrounded by a ton of pageantry friends and family. I'm kind of one of the first people to really step into that. So I think I'm going to have a hard time expressing that feeling of loss after I give up my title. So I'm kind of already trying to prepare for that situation. But I know that there's so much more ahead for me. This opportunity has allowed me to put my foot in the door in so many areas and put my name in the mouths of really important people, and I'm really excited to graduate college and I'm really excited to start working in professional sports and I think that being Miss Montana has given me that opportunity. I've had the opportunity to speak with the Seattle Seahawks and the San Francisco Giants, among many other teams. I'm just really excited that. You know this opportunity has given me more opportunities and I need I need to see it that way and not see it as I'm closing the door on something. I'm just starting a new chapter.

Raeanna Johnson: 55:40

Very bittersweet, sometimes feeling more bitter than sweet, especially for you, when you thought that you would have many more years to be competing in this organization.

Raeanna Johnson: 55:51

But, I mean, after just this brief time getting to know you, I'm so thrilled for you. The best is yet to come. You have gained so much from this experience. It's so evident and you've contributed so much through your year that is evident as well that wherever you go next is going to be extraordinary. Try not to compare yourself to what your sisters in your class of Miss America are doing.

Raeanna Johnson: 56:21

I struggled with that a lot. I think that's going to be my message to each and every one of you that I sit down with on Crowned and Candid, because that was difficult. It's still the highlight reel that we see on social media, but we had our 10-year reunion, class reunion, in September and it was so, oh, just invigorating to talk to some of my sisters in my class and find out that they were struggling in such a similar way to me in that transition of you know post title holder here. So it's very real and we all experience it. But you know there's so much more to come for you and I'm so excited to see that happen for you.

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 57:05

Thank you.

Raeanna Johnson: 57:06

So what advice would you give to the next Miss Montana?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 57:12

Number one ask for help when you need it. It's going to. No one's going to judge you for asking for help, but also I think this is going to be many girls. Advice for the next title holder is to soak it all in. It goes so fast and I wish that I had just taken the time to sit in those moments and really soak it all in when I was doing service or giving a speech or being on stage. I wish that I had just cherished that time a little bit more.

Raeanna Johnson: 57:43

And what advice would you give her about preserving her own well-being?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 57:48

Your well-being is above anything else in this situation. You have to remember that if you're not at your best, you're not portraying the best version of Miss Montana you could, or whatever your title is, so it's so important that you put your needs at the forefront in this situation. It's not selfish to make sure that you're in a good place.

Raeanna Johnson: 58:12

And if she ever doubts herself, what words would you want her to hear from you?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 58:19

You know, I think that I would say that self-doubt is normal and it's okay to feel those feelings, but remember that you did something that the judges saw of value and they knew that you could represent our state and that I know that you can do it too.

Raeanna Johnson: 58:37

When you think back on the season of your life five to 10 years from now, what do you think that you're going to remember the most?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 58:42

I think that I'm going to remember that I was 20 years old and I did some pretty amazing things. I'm the youngest member of the Miss Montana class and I think that I want to remember that I was 20 years old and really cool and I hope that my kids think that I'm really cool and whoever looks at me, they're going to think, wow, she did some pretty amazing things.

Raeanna Johnson: 59:06

One final word from you, my dear. What is your message to the Sash and Soul community today?

Kaylee Wolfensberger: 59:11

I think that it's important to remember that if you don't walk away with that crown, it is not a measure of your worth. Having a crown does not make you any more worthy of love and respect and of compassion and recognition. At the end of the day, it's just a crown. It is not putting any more value on the person that you are. So don't let the loss of a title affect you in that way, because you're worthy and loved and you're doing amazing things. You know one woman gets to wear the crown, but you know God saves the rest of us from it. It's something that we say here in Montana, because it's an amazing opportunity, but it's also a tough situation to be in. So look at it from a different point of view. A tough situation to be in. So look at it from a different point of view.

Raeanna Johnson: 1:00:05

I love that. I have never heard that before and I'm going to remember that. So powerful, oh my gosh. Kaylee Wolfensberger, Miss Montana, 2024. Thank you so much for sharing your candid thoughts, your experience, your passion with us, your insights. This was a really beautiful conversation and I really appreciate your time and the love that you poured into everything that you said. So thank you so much, Wishing you the very best and the rest of your year just the next eight weeks maybe. I think it's like two months. It's wrapping up quickly. Soak it all in, like you said, and be proud of yourself. You certainly represented well and I'm glad to have met you and had you on. So thank you again.

Raeanna Johnson: 1:00:53

Yeah, absolutely All right, Sash and Soul. I will be back again very soon with another episode in this series of Crowned and Candid, and I will talk with you then. Bye.