Pointless
A pointless ramble through the world of Aussie Rules Football with Martin and Dom, a couple of old mates and arch Collingwood-Carlton rivals. Not a lot of insight, but a few laughs along the way.
Pointless
Uncanny
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This time Martin and Dom talk about the uncanny likeness between 2026 Gold Coast and 2016 Richmond, umpiring and crowds, all while trying to ignore Collingwood getting their comeuppance from Geelong at the G in the background...
We're starting.
SPEAKER_02Right, but we're just starting.
SPEAKER_01No, we're not allowed to run on or rule musician. Uh I was gonna say bounce the ball, but we don't even do that anymore.
SPEAKER_02Did you watch it? Did you watch it?
SPEAKER_01No, I didn't. I was driving home. So I um Yeah I just watched it. So apparently there's science behind it. I was reading today.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So the Collingwood uh fitness like Jared Wade went to state of origin. So rugby, they they just do that. So they come out and they carry on into their positions and But when they when they run on, they just run on start. There's no But he apparently that's actually a um injury avoidance thing.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Which is so Collingwood, because they've got a thousand them on injuries. And they're and they and not they're not even training on the high on their ground because that's too hard. And you know we think of every confused to but uh yeah, so apparently they running they because when you when you go, then you you see them if you get there early, which I do a little bit, then you see them running around and they go back in the room and then they come out again, then they wait ten minutes. But that that bit they wait is apparently that cools them down and then they Yeah, so yeah, so it's a theory.
SPEAKER_02But they solve But they don't they do that, but then they so they're just having one longer warm-up tonight. So uh just for the sake of all our many listeners, hello welcome. Um we if we're broadcasting this while the Collingwood John game's on. I don't know. So this is just a look at the score. It's only I don't know, it's like 15 minutes in the first quarter.
SPEAKER_01So it's but I'll have you know, I've I've been to f three games this year.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, this must be a bit of a record for you.
SPEAKER_01Uh a draw and two wins.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_01So I'm I'm like a good luck. Correct.
SPEAKER_02Actually, I also am undefeated with Carlson.
SPEAKER_01I'm laugh.
SPEAKER_00This is gonna be a fantastic explanation, this is how are you gonna make Carlton sound good this time?
SPEAKER_02I've only been to Richmond and Geelong. Uh the other two games I've been to this year have been Gold Coast games. So I've been to as many Gold Coast games as I've been to.
SPEAKER_01Speaking of which, uh so this is the first uh podcast we've done since the Gold Coast bonanza.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_01Which uh thankfully we like last year, well we both lost last year and then on our road trip this year we both won.
SPEAKER_03So it was kind of nice. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But uh yeah, Gold Coast. Speaking of like a few observations. What is going on at Gold Coast? They are just imploding rapidly.
SPEAKER_02It's pretty sad. Did you s like I I did feel um and and I think we know Matt Rowell is a friend of the podcast. He I suspect he doesn't actually know there's a podcast, but uh because I'm because I know him, like we count him as a friend of the podcast. Oh, I'm sure he does. But like, geez, that was tough. Did you did we talk about this? I can't remember, but the the images of him just absolutely distraught after that game last week. Um and and all the stuff about Petrarca uh and Leo Lombard and is that good or bad or what's going on? It's um jeez, it's hard.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but I drive I'm not I'm not the biggest fan of Mr. Hardwick, to be perfectly honest. I think he brings a bit of this on himself. Like he's been complaining. If that when he just winges the whole time, he like he has set he uh he set the tone. He set the tone for that team when they crack the sheets.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I know, I know. I don't like culture. I don't like what what the culture that he brings.
SPEAKER_01He wouldn't get it.
SPEAKER_02I don't think Hardwick could get a game of common. No, no, not with um not with the way you guys play.
SPEAKER_01Well, I'll just but I I do think that it's it's a bit more it's a it's a positive environment. Hardwick, honestly, every time he opens his mouth, he's he's worse than Ross Lyon now. He's my new Ross Lyon. Yeah, it's just like that's really saying something. But I think Damien Hardwick's uh fast becoming our uh least favourite person.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah, it's it's interesting. I was looking up because I I thought this all all by myself, just for the record. I came up with this all by myself. Um but then I did some research on it, and apparently it's very it's what everybody's talking about. But the 2016 season for Richmond is almost identical to this season for the golden. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. And then and then won the premiership in 2017. So this they finished 13th with eight wins. Um Gold Coast at the moment is 14th with seven wins. Uh so they odds are they'll win at least one somewhere in the last four games.
SPEAKER_01Was Rich was Richmond yelling at each other on the ground?
SPEAKER_02They were. There was all this talk about Oh, really? Uh yeah, the the player disunity and all this sort of stuff, and it's uncanny. How similar. Okay, so maybe this is a hard week mode of supply.
SPEAKER_01I do like the word uncanny for the podcast.
SPEAKER_02Uncanny.
SPEAKER_01Uncanny X-Men. Remember the uncanny X-Men? I do I do remember that was Brian Mannix. Oh, yeah, that's right. Just for just for our 80s listeners, Brian Mannix. Brian Mannix. In fact, our French bulldog who's named after Peter Garrett Garrett, we my next name would have been Mannix, I reckon. After Brian.
SPEAKER_02What was your favourite song? What was your favourite what was that noise? What was that?
SPEAKER_01I think that was a bl I think that was a blind shutty. Oh, there's another one. Yes, it gets cold up here in uh in Crimea, not down at uh down at Lonnie. It's always bright and sunny down at Lonnie.
SPEAKER_02My renovation's pretty much finished, and uh uh uh for the viewers at home who can't see this because we don't put out uh any images, but I have wood burner connected today. So I'm sitting here in a t-shirt with a uh lump of wood in the wood burner, it's magnificent. Wow.
SPEAKER_01I don't um think the uh umpire's never been better. Do you think? Oh, you heard somebody say that, isn't it?
SPEAKER_03It was the the head of the umpire association.
SPEAKER_01And uh oh, and the um Adelaide crowds are fabulous. Adelaide crowds, yeah. Yeah, Adelaide Fabs. Great crowds. Football football, Australia no Dominic, the Australian football crowds are fantastic. Yeah, everything's great. Everything's great. Yeah, it's great. There's nothing to say here. What was there a game in Adelaide? Was it?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Apparently crowds are down too, uh, which you don't hear about. Oh, really? Is that true? Well didn't know that. One of my tradies told me that, so it must be true. They know everything. Oh, they do know everything. Yeah, you're right. Um but yes, it's not something that's talked about a lot. Uh but yeah.
SPEAKER_01Well you don't you don't talk about anything that's uh negative. Solidly positive stuff.
SPEAKER_02Correct. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01That's it. But no umpires have never been. I think my observes are reservation, having been to three whole games this year, it is abominable. It's not even close to anywhere near good. And I don't even blame the umpires. That's that's standable. My dog, what are they doing with that?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. But it's over it's it's just it is but I think they're responding to that and just responding to the critic the criticism by inserting themselves in to things they should.
SPEAKER_01I did. Now we we we should talk about uh the Colin McCarlton game. I know you don't want to, but we should. But but it was just I mean they just inserted themselves. Well, I reckon Carlton got three or four goals behind, and I thought, oh look, we'll you know, we'll just even it up a bit. It was honesty like they were trying to even the game up.
SPEAKER_02They wanted you to win, obviously. They they inserted themselves and made you win. I think that was what was clear. I think you shouldn't insert it as a general rule in life, you shouldn't insert yourself where you're not needed. No, I agree.
SPEAKER_00That's a very good rule, actually. I think it's an excellent rule of life.
SPEAKER_02Yes, just for uh listeners that uh I had the opportunity to go to the Collingwood Carlton game. He offered me a ticket. Um and uh something came up at the last minute, I couldn't make it.
SPEAKER_01I can't believe you dropped that back.
SPEAKER_02Like watching Collingwood with you once a year, like I I had to watch Carl and Collingwood at your place. That was a disaster that was a disaster and depressing. Then I had to watch Collingwood play Gold Coast with you uh as well, and I was kinda I saw them win again. I couldn't do it. Martin, you know, I have to look after my own mental health too.
SPEAKER_01Well, I think you were scared Carl was gonna get flogged, which you almost were. If it wasn't for the umpire, you would have been flogged.
SPEAKER_00Uh I did come home and bitterly complain about the umpire, to which I got a dominant response that says, Martin, you're better than that. Well, it's probably a fair call.
SPEAKER_01But but I can't believe you're that's the first time ever you refused to tick it to the football. Yeah, I know. I know. And what I once I was a little bit ashamed. No shame, it's second. Yeah. Well what are you now? Uh you're not even in the uh the toilet finals, are you?
SPEAKER_02You know what? It looks very likely that we'll finish 11th.
SPEAKER_01It's the new it's the new ninth. It's the new ninth. It's the new nines. Yeah. 11th is the new ninth. I think But do you reckon well, so what how are you going to finish 11th?
SPEAKER_02Well, we we're 11th or 12th now, I think, um, with GWS in there. Putting GWS out of the picture, because it don't they could do anything. But we play Brisbane this week, we play Frio the last week, Bulldogs in another game and and St Kilda. So St Kilda's tenth, so we could beat St Kilda and go into tenth. St Kilda plays Sydney this week, we play Brisbane, so we should both lose, then we play each other, so we could go into tenth then, but then we play Bulldogs and Frio, and St Kilda plays Essen and Richmond or something like that. So uh North Melbourne maybe no, they did that last week. Anyway, they've got an easy one of those games is an easy game for them compared to us. So I think unless we pull off a miracle and beat Brisbane or Frio, Saints are probably going to finish one game ahead of us. Or percentage at least ahead of us. Because our percentage is shit, so we have to have a game up on them.
SPEAKER_01So I reckon I just got a uh a text from my pen pill, so I think I think Colin was mile-type.
SPEAKER_02Oh no, oh no. Do you want me to look at the score? We're being very disciplined having the TV off.
SPEAKER_01We are we are very disciplined, very disciplined. But anyway, see I got a text saying, uh not not a good start to say the least.
SPEAKER_02Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01And I assume that's not because Colin was uh beating Jelong.
SPEAKER_02Uh yes, I'd say so.
SPEAKER_01I think but July is a very good side.
SPEAKER_02I saw that I saw today that uh they Carlton has put out a statement saying that they've they've well progressed in and they're going to the second phase of the coaching um the coaching process. Um and they invited Josh Fraser to be part of it. Like, you've plenty hope, so wouldn't you?
SPEAKER_01Like can't you go to the championship and then still not be part of the process. So the next phase. So what was what was the previous phase? It's a long phase, isn't it? Assuming that was the first phase, or is that not the first phase?
SPEAKER_02I presume they're down to some sort of short list. How many phases are there? Oh, you you you've got to it's all about the process, Martin.
SPEAKER_01I think I think phase one at Carlton trying to find a coach was actually trying to find a coach. Like getting a list. Yes like names on a list.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. Okay, so let's go for uh uh Ken Hinckley. Okay, he's looking good, he's looking good. It's like, oh no, he's kind of Tasmania.
SPEAKER_01And then John Longwise come out. Yeah, don't want to don't want to coach Carlton anymore. And who else is someone else came out and said no? Oh uh Adam Simpson, he doesn't want to do it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01I think the phase one was just getting people on a list. Yes. Or getting getting a list. Getting a list, and the list is Josh Fraser. Do you know what I mean? I was gonna say phase two was was inviting Josh to apply because they couldn't they didn't have a list.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I've here's an I've got an idea. Why don't we on the list, let's put the most successful Carlton coach for the last 30 years? Who would that Josh Fraser? No, no, he's like he's he's like eight and two.
SPEAKER_01So yeah, of course. Oh no, you can't do that. That'd be that'd be stupid. You gotta go and find someone who's never coached or never won a game.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, true. True. Yeah. So anyway, that was a big big step forward. That is true. He's eight and two. Wow. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02What else is news? Um I was very happy to see uh County Mayo win the uh GIA.
SPEAKER_01County Mayo.
SPEAKER_02Did you say that during the week?
SPEAKER_01So is that like uh do they all just uh what is it just like um something about mayonnaise, aren't you? I was gonna say like egg, egg, egg and egg and lettuce or something? Where is where is Candy Mayor for our meeting?
SPEAKER_02Sort of north of Dublin. Um northwest a bit, I'm pretty sure. Uh but but the famous thing was so they they haven't won the Gaelic football premiership for 75 years. So this is where there's this massive thing. And um wow. And they had this curse. And when I lived over there, that was uh I remember hearing about this curse, and it's autumn. And so basically, when they were last won the premiership, they were as usual with any Irish uh group of men or women, basically, but they're absolutely smashed off their faces, and they come home to Mayo from Dublin and disrupt this funeral service. Um break in this funeral service, and the priest cracks it with them and puts a curse on them and says, You can never win another premiership while any of you live. Um, so this and this is what so they've been in the grand final times, uh, they've nearly got there, nearly got there, but never won. And the last member of that winning team died in 2023 or 23.
SPEAKER_00A week ago.
SPEAKER_02A week ago, but it was just like shit. Really? Wow. We got that two years ago. Oh, it's a bit freaky.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I know. I know.
SPEAKER_02It's very freaky stuff. It's really cool.
SPEAKER_01Can I mayo sponsor sponsored by praise, huh? Get off the mayonnaise thing.
SPEAKER_02Maybe that's where mayonnaise just is that where mayonnaise came from? That's why it's called Mayo Nase, man.
SPEAKER_01Mayonnaise. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe, but yeah, sponsored by Praise. Walking around with the the uh yeah, the uh the Mayo nases. Yes.
SPEAKER_02So that was pretty that was that was my highlight of the week.
SPEAKER_01Oh, the other what we're also gonna do, the other observation was having because we watched the World Cup with great enthusiasm. But I couldn't help I couldn't help trying to draw parallels between the world, the the beautiful game, or the world game, and the the game we're slowly distorting here in Australia with dump iron. Yes. But um that for a few things. So uh do you reckon that that Lionel Messi is as good as Nick Dacos?
SPEAKER_02No, well I like but we talked about this because I think he's the same person. He's he's not, he's slightly different because he's a hybrid of uh Nick Dacos and Scott Pendlebury. Um Pendlebury all the time, so but he's always in the right place. When the moment comes, he's lightning and he's just gone, nobody knows where he is. Yeah, yeah. So that's his Nick Dakar.
SPEAKER_01That was a few. The other thing I really like and they should do with all seriousness is red and yellow cards. They've got to bring that in. Yeah, it's yeah. I love a good red card.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'd like I'd like to see him do that in in front of it.
SPEAKER_01It would stop a lot of bullshit. You've got to do it in the finals. Do you know? I I was reading the other day the the history of the red and yellow cards.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Do you not know that?
SPEAKER_02I did not know that, uh.
SPEAKER_01So 19 could have been 66, actually, when England won.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01The I think it was a quarter final or a semi-final, England playing something like Argentina or something. Anyway, um the English team spoke English, the Argentinian team spoke Spanish, and the referee was like Italian. So nobody knew what anyone else was talking about. So so the referee actually sent one of the Argent uh the Argentinian captain off.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But in those days they had no cards, so he just said, you know, off. Yeah, off. I think off or get off or and the the um Argentinian captain either refused, but probably didn't even know what he was talking about, so just stood on the ground. So there was this this huge delay because they had to get some guy to tell the Argentinian captain he'd been sent off because he couldn't speak Italian. So then the guy um the head of refereeing across for FIFA in 966 was driving home from the ground and and stopped at the traffic lights. Oh, oh and he goes, right, there's all I'm gonna do. I'm gonna have a you know, a red card is off, you know. So no, it doesn't matter what language you speak. That that's what it is. That's where they got it from.
SPEAKER_02Wow. Well, that's good. No, I did not know that.
SPEAKER_01See, and people think pointless is pointless. Yes. We we're teaching people a lot sort of things.
SPEAKER_02Yes, yes.
SPEAKER_01So there you go. That's uh that is good. That's the uh that's the background.
SPEAKER_02That's the first thing I've learned from you in our 30 years of friendship.
SPEAKER_01That's probably close.
SPEAKER_02Certainly the most interesting thing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. Interesting thing I was saying 30 years. What else I learned? Uh uh the the game See, there's not that many rules in soccer, really. When you watch the game, it's slower and all that, but like obvious stuff is there's not too many times when like players drop to the ground and what they've been shot every sort of five minutes. But but they don't there's not that much controversy with referee. There really isn't. But when you watch AFL now, it's like, my god, it's just not a game goes past where people don't comp bitly complain about a stand rule or a it's bullshit.
SPEAKER_02I'd love to see an AFL umpire go an umpire in a football game, or a bunch of these guys go like the way that they challenge the ref. Um like you you only have to look at an AFL umpire the wrong way, and it's 50 minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're like poking their fingers in their chests and arguing constantly, even like Argentina was disgusting after the final, and they're just such bad sports, and they're still cra carrying on with stuff they want to fight, and that it's just um shocking. But there's a lot of bad sportsmanship in the soccer teams.
SPEAKER_01And you see, I don't know if you have Saurus. I I you don't know what to believe anymore when you see stuff on Instagram, whatever, it's all AI or whatever. But apparently it's true. There's a guy, you know, when right at the end of the final, when that guy got set off, and then the guy like did that massive somersault in the air, which I thought was was good kind of games and shit. But anyway, he's done this huge somersault. But they had a camera from the other end of the ground, and when well the guy that got set off is Argentinian, so yeah, so he was running that way, and he's you know kicked his bike space on that, and as that's happened, there's an Argentinian guy that's the like the left back who's just literally falls over in the back of the screen, like he's being like someone shot him out of the stand. Yeah. So he's obviously seen this happen and then just but it's like it's just my god, if their their only tack hit was to get to penalties and on the way is to is to come is to just either fight or um or drop to the ground. That's not a strategy. That's just that's like Mexican wrestling, I don't know.
SPEAKER_02I kind of get it that they're cheeky, you know, the culture is in a lot of those countries is do what you can get away with and all this stuff. But as a professional athlete who most of these guys are, especially at that very top level, are playing in professional sides around the world. Um, how do you sort of feel like a professional when you're doing this? It's weird. It is I guess it's just a culture thing that's different. I don't get it.
SPEAKER_01And then I thought, who's who in AF who's the Erling Haaland of AFL? You know those people just lopes around and doesn't really look like he's doing anything. Yeah. And then scores like seven goals in three.
SPEAKER_02Maybe uh uh Shannon Neal, maybe, who I don't really like. He's a bit of a loper.
SPEAKER_01But do we have lopers in the AFL?
SPEAKER_02I I always feel like he's massively overrated, but actually he's kicking bundles of goals. And um he's I have to admit, he's kind of he's putting the score on the board.
SPEAKER_01Um but he's a yeah, he's it could be getting, I'm getting I'm not I'm not getting positive messages from people. Really? I think it's I think it's a bit of a shellacking. Oh dear. I'll check the score now. Oh my god, that's 56 Geelong to eight.
SPEAKER_02What? Oh shit. Oh, are you are you getting a comeuppance? We are. It's um what it what where would a comeuppance uh l you know w what is this 48 points? Is that a comeuppance? Is it an unexpected That's a bit of a delting, isn't it? Wow So we haven't we haven't talked this year much about featherings and um and things like that. Uh but a comeuppance. You get your comeuppance.
SPEAKER_01Well I think that would well you can't. What are we due for loss? It's a loss we need to have. Is that okay.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_01We've had a lot of those. Well, it's 8 20 and the game's over already. Cool.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, look at look at the you've saved yourself by not turning it on.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, exactly. Um what else is it? What else was I talking about? Oh yeah, the lo the the lopers in the AFL. Who's who's another I couldn't think of a like um Pemberby's a bit of a loper.
SPEAKER_02Like he doesn't really move. He doesn't swing in and he keeps a goal, so it's gotta be a goal kicker. Um a big ungainly sort of goal kicker.
SPEAKER_01But Jeremy Cameron's a bit of a loper, I reckon. He doesn't Yeah, he could could be. I couldn't think I couldn't really think of it. Because that was hilarious, and was it the semi-final or whatever? He's just well, he's still usually standing still. When he has to move, he moves. But when he doesn't when he does have to move, he does not move.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. But Messi was kind of like that. It was it was fascinating, these guys like M Bappe, um he'd be moving all the time. But Messi, if you look at it, he's just kind of hanging around the middle, and he wanders a bit to the left, and then he wandered a bit to the right, and sometimes I'll kick it to him and he'll just be like, Oh yeah, what do you want me to do with it? And somebody else. And then suddenly he'll be right in the box in the exactly the right spot and kick a call. I know. Um so yeah, I think and Harlan was a bit like that too. He'd just wander around, loop around, and then uh all of a sudden he'd join this have this massive turn of speed and bang.
SPEAKER_01I know.
SPEAKER_02It was pretty good. Good fun watching it. Um I miss it now.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I know, it was actually good waking up in the morning and kind of Yeah. Yeah, it was it was good. We'd sort of watch it because there was a game when they had the I said the round of 48, they had like it was like 5 a.m., 7am, like 10am, midday, then 2 o'clock. You watch it all day. It's great. Fantastic, yeah. Yeah I'll have you know I won the uh the wider family round of 48 tipping competition.
SPEAKER_02Very nice, very nice work.
SPEAKER_01And I was equal first across the entire World Cup. But I had a I had this strategy at the start with the round of 48 that you you you should pick a win or a or a loss, not a draw.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And that that actually uh was the right correct strategy.
SPEAKER_02Did you have your competitors were picking draws as well, then?
SPEAKER_01Correct. Yeah. Because you have to pick the result rather than the winner or the loser, right? So uh yeah, but I I just think it's a World Cup. People play it, they actually do try and win games, I think, at the World Cup.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. They did send this time to try and win, I thought. Particularly. It was quite good. Obviously now though, um speaking of global uh world-class events, you're obviously glued to the screens uh this week. Yeah. I don't know what you're gonna say.
SPEAKER_00I didn't even know I didn't know that was on.
SPEAKER_02I did I did see that we we were winning medals in gymnastics, and I thought any event where Australia is winning a medal in gymnastics is obviously not by definition a world-class event.
SPEAKER_01Oh, it's it's a bit sad because I think I would assume the athletes look forward to the colour games. Yeah. For Australians and English or whatever, it's probably the the only chance they get outside of the Olympics, to be honest.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Well, it's it it died when when Dan Andrews cancelled it, and everyone just has just forgotten about it ever since.
SPEAKER_02You know who was the minister for that? Was buddy Jacinta Allen as well. Like absolute disgrace.
SPEAKER_01So I think it's died ever since that day.
SPEAKER_02But it's it's also just not um for years I've never thought much of it because it's the colonial empire and and that's gone. Uh not really when I keep remembering it. And so why would the worst part of the sporting world get together to uh apart from like Australia and Canada and England, maybe, but um but yeah, they I watched I flicked it around last night, I suppose, um, and there was some athletics, and seriously, it looked like it was the Bendigo athletics track.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah, it does too.
SPEAKER_02It's cool. Um and the commentators Bruce McIntyre was there, and uh they were talking about how the track was a strange shape. It the corners shouldn't it be the same shape? Surely it's got to be the same shape. How could it be Yeah? How does that it's it was ri very bizarre.
SPEAKER_01It must be the shape of the of the surrounds of the track, surely.
SPEAKER_02It was wider and shorter. So the corners were uh there were more corners and less straight. That doesn't make sense, but so it's the same length, but uh the yeah, surely like an athletics track has to be the same dimension. Surely it has to be. And a world-class one, you know, yeah, it's just weird.
SPEAKER_01Maybe the Scottish abord, no, we'll do it our way. Yeah, yeah, maybe. That doesn't make any sense. Surely an athletics track would have to be like the 50 metre pool at the Olympics, it's 50 meters.
SPEAKER_03Yes, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like you can't just turn up and say, Oh, look, it's sorry, it we decided it's 45, so you'll have to swing 3.75 lats.
SPEAKER_02That's ridiculous.
SPEAKER_01We should we should Google that. Oh, brother, I'm gonna my my family had it's slowly turning off the football.
SPEAKER_02Oh no.
SPEAKER_01Just rechecking the score.
SPEAKER_02You should do it.
SPEAKER_01Um uh we've kicked a point. Wow. That's right. It's 57 to 9 now. So uh dear. Still 48 points. So it hasn't got worse in the last ten minutes.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Well, that's a that's a plus.
SPEAKER_01We should use it. We've failed. We're holding them now. Oh, look at that. Nick Dacos is still the fifth highest ranked player on the ground.
SPEAKER_03Oh, that's pretty good.
SPEAKER_01Then we're getting absolut Oh, look. Periman's been injured. God's sake.
SPEAKER_02Another point. You kick another point.
SPEAKER_01Another one.
SPEAKER_02You have increased while we've been watching, while we've been doing you have increased your score by 25%. That's outstanding.
SPEAKER_01Be helpful if you didn't kick somebody fucking points. Oh dear, mate.
SPEAKER_02The um the ten, the final ten is locked in, according to most experts. There's no I don't know about that. It's locked in and the final ten. So despite all of the made-up stuff the AFL's been doing, it's still just as boring as last year anyway.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I I just think this 10's gonna be. I was listen also listening to um Jimmy Barchell, and I think it was Gerald Waitley, I think I don't know what some kind of footage saying what everyone was thinking is it's the worst fixture this year ever.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like appallingly bad. And he went through all these things that like and you just listen to it, you're going like God, who the fucked all of that?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like Hawthorne had a eight 17-day break, and everyone else had a four-day break. And yeah, people like people are playing on in Ballarat, and then they're playing on Mars, and then it's like honestly, it's all over the place. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I don't know.
SPEAKER_01There were there was like 11 by rounds.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah. How does that work?
SPEAKER_01How do you have 11 buy rounds?
SPEAKER_02This is the bit that I don't understand. So I I sort of get uh I don't like it, but I get why the the thing is not even and the integrity's not there because they want to have big blockbuster matches and they want to make money and all that stuff. But to me, I don't understand why they schedule so many crap games. And yeah, and Carlton Carlton had a earlier in the season, I think, we came off a buy and we had like a 14-day break or 17-day break, and then we could have played any day of that weekend, and and we played on Sunday after late afternoon before the Good Friday match. So we had like a four-day turnaround when we could have easily played on Thursday, Friday, even Saturday mid day. I think we played against nobody, like it wasn't a big game. Um and they had also had a bias, so we could easily have played there, and it just they just seemed to I don't understand that because they they'd have all the AI and they'd have all sorts of things working out the best return on the on the on the draw and all that stuff. And so it just it just seems really dumb.
SPEAKER_01I know. I I don't like Thursday night football. I just think you got you need Monday Monday four days of of because otherwise it's just on it's like that American thing where as long as there's a lot of it or it's big, then it's good. Yeah, yeah. It's not it's not you're gonna saturate, and then there's gonna be 19 teams, soon there'll be 20 and well, there'll be a game every 25 seconds.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, well, I think they I think they struggle. I don't know what the ratings are. We should do a bit of research. Um, but the have they had uh those good ratings across the whole time? Because surely they haven't got the big uh viewing audiences um on some of the Friday and Saturday night games. Some of the Saturday night games have been terrible. Uh and it's and so they can't they haven't got enough big blockbuster games to play on fro Thursday night Saturday night.
SPEAKER_01Because the the bottom six teams are ten.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01They're not just even bad.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01And that's the other thing. If if you're a if you're a if you play those teams twice, it's like three f free games. You're like 12 points to 16 points ahead of anybody else.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Unless you can't, and then you only just beat them by four points. Um yeah, that's fellow.
SPEAKER_01I was all I was all cock the hoop last week about being Adelaide. Now it's it's a few.
SPEAKER_02Oh no, we've kicked a goal. You shouldn't look at the score.
SPEAKER_01We're coming back.
SPEAKER_02It's because you're too busy at work. We can't just we shouldn't have done the podcast tonight.
SPEAKER_01That's right. Ray's 41 points behind now.
SPEAKER_02Now, before we finish and you go and have something to to eat and fade away, we do have great news um from the podcast is we had a caller. And we haven't Oh yes. We had we had a message.
SPEAKER_01We haven't a we had a it wasn't actually a caller, but it was a it was it was a communication, many ways.
SPEAKER_02Yes, somebody actually sent us a message. Thank you very much.
SPEAKER_01And it wasn't a robot because we know this person. Yes. It is your call. Well, we should actually we should acknowledge that, yeah. Someone while we're on the Gold Coast.
SPEAKER_02Yes. We what's the question? Do you remember what the question?
SPEAKER_01I can't remember what the question was. Well what's the question? No, I don't actually. We should look that up. We need uh we need uh this before we start. Uh we should we uh we should have uh we need to hire uh uh head of media for pointless podcast.
SPEAKER_03Yes. Uh was there oh yeah. Oh, it was a voice message. Okay, maybe we can play it. Oh technology's gonna let me down. I don't know what's happening. Download failed.
SPEAKER_01Our one our one caller one caller. Hang on, but isn't it on um Yeah, it's on WhatsApp.
SPEAKER_02Why isn't it just letting me play? No, I thought it was Oh, was it? It's on our um fashion chat.
SPEAKER_01Oh, whatever.
SPEAKER_02Maybe it only lasts does it only stay for a while.
SPEAKER_01Well maybe it's well maybe that the person that left us.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. They were were were too scared to uh maybe uh they were so sick of waiting for us to respond that they um just deleted it.
SPEAKER_01Great question. The the question, just to repeat that for people, was um who do we think would win? Uh I think we did uh mention that the ACOC could do penalty shootouts and perhaps we you know you have a ring around there, but who would win in the who would win? Well, um Which team would more likely win that penalty shootout?
SPEAKER_02Well, there probably is quite easy to get a stat on what's the most accurate team.
SPEAKER_01Um but they get people like um But they're not but but it's accuracy from a standing shot, not not a running shot.
SPEAKER_02No, that's right. Um I can tell you who I who would not win, and that's Harry Mackay, Brody Camp. Um Oh, I watched I did not realise.
SPEAKER_01Everyone felt I did not realize when I was at Colin McCartney on the ground, but I'll watch the replay afterwards. And you're you're actually what Kemp missed like five goals. Oh Kemp is a distress. It's kicked him sideways the whole time.
SPEAKER_02It just he has to go. We should we should trade him. He'd be a great trade. Because he's actually he's got some talent.
SPEAKER_01He he actually did really well, but he just honestly might as well he should have just faced the other way.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01So who do we think would would uh Okay?
SPEAKER_02So according to Google, um Nick Larkey is statistically recognised as one of the most. Oh no, I don't want one of the most. No, we don't want one of the most. 73%. Uh Matthew Lloyd was 68.5. Ben King from the Gold Coast ranks near the top of the league's conversion officials.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, he's he's quite good. Yeah, uh, yeah. Goal kicking accuracy.
SPEAKER_02I love this website. AFLtables.com. Check this out, it's quite good. But now it's very small on my phone, I can't read it. But um that's something we'll do some research on and come back to the listeners on. But yes, you have to choose carefully.
SPEAKER_01We've kicked the last two.
SPEAKER_02Come back. Greatest comeback of all time. It's pretty early, isn't it? Is it halftime yet? Not half time.
SPEAKER_01Uh not quite. Pretty close. Yeah. Yeah. Two in a row. Oof. Two in a row. Yep. Guys, we're going for 17 in a row.
SPEAKER_02Maybe I'll sit down and uh eat your uh eat what's on what's on for dinner.
SPEAKER_01Well, have you had Dominic's favourite meal. Yeah. Oh see, we're on the gold coast. He was just chasing chickens around the whole time. The uh a shout out to the I don't know what can't remember what it's called, but the uh Greek No Mediterranean restaurant in Broadbeach. Excellent.
SPEAKER_02Yes. Yeah, highly recommend it. Don't know what the name is, but it's great.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, just just keep walking around until you sit there. Don't don't call it Greek. It's Mediterranean.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, true. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Despite the fact that I think pretty much everything we had was, in fact, of sort of Greek style, was it not?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Yeah. Nice ditch.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it was.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So yes. So penalty shootouts. I think that'd be fun. I think we should do that, actually.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think it'd be great. But you can't like the problem is it'd be so rare. I mean, that has there's been what, one draw? You had a draw this year, haven't you?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, one one this year, yeah. Yeah. What imagine imagine the 2010 grand final, Collingwood Sakilda. Yeah. Awesome. And then, you know, um Travis Cloakes lining up and kicks it sideways. And Collingwood lose. Imagine that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01It'd be uh I don't think I could watch that actually. If Colin I used to I was watching the penalty stuff in the World Cup, but when it when it got into the quarters and semis and stuff, and you just think, God, if that was Collinwood, I would be a mess. Yeah, yeah. Like a complete mess. Almost watching B.
SPEAKER_02That's what English fans fans can't watch. And they're they're just they've had so many losses in penalty shootouts. Uh yeah, pretty tough.
SPEAKER_01It'd be heartbreaking. I don't know. Yeah, and then you gotta I assume you'd do the same thing, you do f five. Was it five you get?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Unless you know, but there's a lot more players, so that's effectively half the team. Um so you should have twelve or something.
SPEAKER_01My other theory, my other theory, uh, is that you just have to play until someone wins. So so in soccer, you mean?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I mean that that'd be that'd be great. There's no limit to extra time. Someone has to actually score. Like in in there's no penalties, you just have to someone has to score.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So it if you fall down dead because you're too tired, well, you have it just keeps going. I think that'd be hilarious.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, exactly. I think that would be great because often they'll just play to not lose. So then you couldn't do that.
SPEAKER_01Well, that's kind of what happened. They would they they knew they were. Oh, another one. Oh, look.
SPEAKER_03So three in a row.
SPEAKER_02They get to like 30 behind at half time. That's 29 points.
SPEAKER_01It was like 50.
SPEAKER_02There you go.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01See eight scrolling shots to 12. Tell you what, people.
SPEAKER_03Look it out.
SPEAKER_02That's only three goals to I've still kicked more goals than you in this quarter, though. Yeah, thank you. Thank you.
SPEAKER_01Who kicked the uh Bo McQuery? God, that's a McCreary.
SPEAKER_02You can't you can't stay, you you're not a big fan in a career, eh?
SPEAKER_01No, I am. I just don't I he's he got well, reportedly got a million dollar a year offer from Tasmania. Wow. That's a lot.
SPEAKER_02I'd go to Tasmania for a million dollars a year. Correct? If I right now at this stage of my life, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Well, why would why would someone offer you a million dollars for just Tasmania?
SPEAKER_02Well, they seem to throw money at me for all sorts of things.
SPEAKER_01To write a book in the middle of nowhere in Tasmania?
SPEAKER_02Oh, right.
SPEAKER_01Where would you live? Where would you live? You have to live in Hobart, children.
SPEAKER_02Oh I th I wouldn't mind ri living on the Peninsula or something.
SPEAKER_01Are the devils actually based in Hobart?
SPEAKER_03Is that what they're I suppose so, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03No, yeah, I like Tessie.
SPEAKER_02Tessie's good, but it's a long way away from everything. So um I think if you're gonna go away somewhere, I'd rather it's a bit like moving to New Zealand. It's kind of to me, it's not it's not different enough. I'd rather go to Singapore or London America.
SPEAKER_01That makes you all the kiwi. You don't think the keywords are different enough? No, no, no. Jeez, we're gonna get some so we're gonna get some calls now. We're gonna get well you met one of our listeners. You you met last week. An actual listener from New York. I was actually I was overseas. I was in Auckland and I met well, I I met two people, uh confirmed one of them wasn't quite sure about the other one. So uh I'm going with one. But I did, yes. I think that's my first overseas fan visit. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I we uh we actually met a f well, we met a few uh Victorian ones.
SPEAKER_02I've I've met our fans in London. Well you have, that's true. Yes. Listeners in London. Yeah. Um this sounds like we're like global celebrities, but the fact is that they were listening because they're friends of ours. No, not because we haven't visited that.
SPEAKER_01But uh yes, well I'm gonna go and eat something and uh see Colleen with the kick the next twelve goals to win.
SPEAKER_02Yes. I'm gonna sit back on the couch and uh bring him home.
SPEAKER_01I think it's I think it's hard telling, I think. That's the other thing about the AFL app, you you never get again, it just sort of loses its mind.
SPEAKER_02Sometimes it says the time and then other times it doesn't. It's just back to the main screen.
SPEAKER_01It just says it's live.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Well, of course it's fucking live.
SPEAKER_02Like why is it I mean as same with everything to do with the AFL. It's just annoying and stupid. Yeah, the little the little worm line is right on the middle one at half time, so it must be half time.
SPEAKER_01Uh yeah, we think so. That's an interesting. Indeed. All right, well.
SPEAKER_03You're you're away for a bit.
SPEAKER_01So a couple of weeks. So we uh we can do a podcast from uh Lombok or Singapore.
SPEAKER_02See if you can find any fans over there. Hope so. And then it'll be finals. We we'll be getting ready for the toilet finals. That'll be a toilet finals.
SPEAKER_01Do they just they just go straight? There's no break, is there? Straight into the toilet. Straight to the toilet. I was actually thinking uh the toilet. We should explain to our best. It's just the the the the uh AFL ladder has the places seven to ten as the WC section, which is the water closet or the toilet section. But what was I gonna say? No, to lost my track of thought now.
SPEAKER_02The toilet finals, yes. Because of the WC.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, which I don't know. You're gonna have to win, like you seriously if you finish anywhere from seventh to tenth. Yeah, you're gonna have to play you're gonna have to win five games in a row against people. It's just virtually impossible.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah. But if anybody can do it, Carlton can.
SPEAKER_01Oh god. What do you just know? No, what I was gonna say is that um I keep threatening to go and eat dinner, but then I don't but uh that like if you're in if you're s like if you're seventh therefore on the top of the the water closet, does that mean you're like the cistern? Right. And then so if you're at the bottom of the if you're tenth, so you're at the bottom of the toll. You're the S-bin.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_01So so I don't know what you know. So if you're ninth, you're probably what, the seat? Or the bowl. No, the bowl. Then if you're eighth, you're the seat. The seat. So that's what I said on our uh on our WhatsApp chat last week. Like Carlton now is desperately trying to be the S-bend. Which I think is quite appropriate giving your year. Yeah. And that would be appropriate for Collingwood's year. I think we've all been pretty crap at at some time. That's very appropriate. We should end up in a tool the final.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. Yeah, maybe that's exactly the word for it.
SPEAKER_01You just or maybe we get to the point everyone that you anyone can play a wild card. I still want that bloody ladder that we had where you swap positions. I think that would be the best ever.
SPEAKER_02Well, I particularly like that because we play free man till last round. We can finish top of the ladder if if by some fluke.
SPEAKER_01I reckon they're just the best. Imagine the Freo people. You can miss out on the following, they won 18 games and two losses.
SPEAKER_02They're out. Oh, it'd be perfect, wouldn't it? That's exactly what uh should be done because that's the ultimate of the AFL just making stuff up for uh excitement.
SPEAKER_01The other thing that about the fixture, right? Because you don't even know you know who you're playing, but you don't even know where you're bloody playing them the last four rounds of the year. Who does that? Yeah. Anyway, so this is just like ghost fixture that will just will just tell you when it comes out. But that's it does that not wreak of many.
SPEAKER_02But then they go back and they they and then they schedule weird games at weird weird times. Like they have the choice. And they'll still put like Essen versus North Melbourne or something on Friday night.
SPEAKER_01Well they're doing it, they just manufacture an outcome because they they think, oh, well, now Colleague was playing well, so we'll have to put them on Saturday night with with you know author or something. I was like, God, if we had a lost last week, they would have put us in Bel Rat on a buddy Wednesday. It's just stupid. They just manufacture stuff that it's unbelievable.
SPEAKER_02Yep. And they're still all right.
SPEAKER_01So now just remember cistern, seat, bowl, S bench.
SPEAKER_00Well, you want to finish.
SPEAKER_02On that sort, go and eat your chicken. Goodbye, everybody. Bye.