Blood Sucking Leeches

  So much to talk about with a prospective Wildcard final/round/match between the Pies and Blues... 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:15

Here we are again.

SPEAKER_04 0:16

Isn't it good? We're back. I don't know why did we say we're back? It's gonna be two weeks.

SPEAKER_02 0:25

And the first thing that we have to discuss is this. Finals.

SPEAKER_04 0:55

Please go ahead. I do love that little bit of I get the men singing that just get really exploding with excitement. Yes. Oh yes. Well I I would go so far as I say that's the most boring football song.

SPEAKER_02 1:15

Carlton's? Oh yeah, it's terrible. Bad. I tell you, it's not a good song when you're losing because it just sounds really depressing. Slow. I know.

SPEAKER_04 1:25

It's better than the song they played uh Colin and Hawthorne. Which is no song. And Carlton and Bulldogs. Nobody's song got sung on the weekend.

SPEAKER_03 1:34

Everyone made every draw.

SPEAKER_02 1:36

Yeah, yeah. Can we can we say though that like like we we poo-poo the AFL uh with lots of good reasons and everything, but uh you know, I have to it's just like a an absolute brilliance is outstanding. I've always been supportive of it. I thought it was a just a brilliant idea right from the start. But the the wildcard round, oh what a stroke of genius.

SPEAKER_04 2:03

What a lot of honestly. I don't know the even clan finals. You know my theory. If you finish ninth or tenth, it's round twenty-four.

SPEAKER_01 2:13

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:15

I will.

SPEAKER_02 2:16

If you finish seventh or eighth, it's round twenty-four, too.

SPEAKER_04 2:20

It's just so what's the likely I see I have this theory. I reckon I still reckon you I reckon you'll beat three. They will rest so many players. Yeah, they're already on top.

SPEAKER_02 2:34

So if you're actually have the teams come out, because they might No, not yet.

SPEAKER_04 2:40

They come out at uh six at the traditional time of six twenty. So why why can't that be six six o'clock or six thirty? Like honestly. But anyway. Um so Freos are around top, so they're gonna arrest everybody. So first and second are set. Yep. Collingwood can't i i is in a is in eight or nine, but and it can't be taken over.

SPEAKER_02 3:07

Well, I don't think they can even go to oh they can't go down.

SPEAKER_04 3:10

They can they can they're gonna go. They're eight or nine. We can go down, but it's eight, it's nine, so you play the same team.

SPEAKER_02 3:17

That's right, eight or nine.

SPEAKER_04 3:18

Yeah, you don't play the same team. But I got this theory, right? So I think Carlton will beat Frio because I'll just bring over the seconds.

SPEAKER_02 3:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:26

So you're gonna finish on fifty. Melbourne is gonna beat the Bulldogs because they they would then have a chance for a double chance.

SPEAKER_02 3:36

So um so that's this is what everybody's predicting. I reckon Carlton will be.

SPEAKER_04 3:41

I reckon still reckon it's Carl Colin with Carlton.

SPEAKER_02 3:44

Yep, yep.

SPEAKER_04 3:45

Unless the Bulldogs weep.

SPEAKER_02 3:48

Clean the toilet, mate. Clean the toilet. Make sure it's the big toilet so that all the people can come in.

SPEAKER_04 3:54

But I think it will be. So you guys will still you guys cannot finish in the top eight. You can't play finalist. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02 4:04

You can't. We will if we win if we win round twenty-four.

SPEAKER_04 4:10

Oh, unbelievable. But you could, you've beaten pretty much everyone about it's it's fascinating.

SPEAKER_02 4:16

So that means like it is chance, and there is I don't really want to go to Adelaide and play Adelaide because we're we've never won there in like 2,000 years. Um but the Adelaide will I did um hear some some of the guys talking about how much pressure they'll be under, and it could get nervy, and we'll we've got nothing to lose. Uh so we could possibly win. And the the advantage of that would be that then if you keep winning as well, we could play in the grand final then.

SPEAKER_04 4:51

Yeah, we could that would be fabulous. Well, apparently, I believe that um Collingwood or Carton, let's assume they think eighth or ninth, then they're actually playing a lot of games at the MCG. So that game will be at the MCG. Yeah, and then the next is likely to be it'll be some like Melbourne or Hawthorne or Geelong. That's going to be a MCG elimination final. Right. And then it's only till you get to the one after that. What's that? It'll be the prelim.

SPEAKER_02 5:26

Oh, semi, yeah, semi.

SPEAKER_04 5:28

Where you'll have to play, but even then.

SPEAKER_02 5:31

No, it might be the preliminary final before you have to go into state.

SPEAKER_04 5:35

No, because there's 78 rounds before we get to the grand final now, right? So you've got the wild card round. I'm not even I can't even bring myself to call it a a a a final.

SPEAKER_02 5:47

Fair enough.

SPEAKER_04 5:48

Uh and then you get then you go into the elimination finals and the traditional age. The qualifying finals on the say weekend. Yes. And then the following weekend after that, we get semi-finals, and the weekend after that, we get preliminary finals, and the weekend after that, we get the grand final. Did you get all that? So trying to figure out who plays who is virtually impossible. But yeah, like Hawthorne, Melbourne, Hawthorne, Geelong, and Adelaide all play crack teams. So they're all going to win. So Abelaide will finish on sixth. So if Haw, so Melbourne, who played the doggies, if the doggies win, Melbourne will actually likely finish seventh.

SPEAKER_02 6:32

Oh, that would be handy.

SPEAKER_04 6:33

Right. And then if they happen, all the games at the MCG. It doesn't matter who. Like it actually doesn't matter who who who finishes where.

SPEAKER_02 6:42

Yeah. Yeah, that's right. There's no no advantage. No home group.

SPEAKER_04 6:46

If it's Melbourne calling with doggies Carlton, I mean you can finish 10th or 7th. You can finish on the in the cistern or in the in the bowl, right? It doesn't matter. Yeah, it doesn't matter. But what a bonanza that would be on these on the I reckon they'll rig it such that, you know, my theory about so no, I think they'll want the doggies to win because then everyone plays at the MCG in the tour finals.

SPEAKER_02 7:09

That would be great. And then I'd love to play Melbourne because we've got it. We've got the Moz on them a bit. We haven't beaten you for a while, and we haven't won in Adelaide. Uh so you've never won in Adelaide.

SPEAKER_04 7:22

Never like ever. It's not like you have them on there for last season or for five or ten years. No, it's the answer is never. When did Adelaide come into the competition?

SPEAKER_02 7:34

Late 80s, 90s. We've beaten Port Adelaide. Would they mind terribly if Port Adelaide came and played? So it's not the ground.

SPEAKER_04 7:42

But have you no, but have you beaten Port Adelaide in Adelaide?

SPEAKER_02 7:45

In Adelaide. Yeah, we have actually a couple of times. We have. I think, including this season, including part of Josh Fraser's big run. Wow. I think we beat them over there. So yes. Josh Fraser. He's um I'm a bit annoyed with him because I'm so happy that he's he's he's coach and all this stuff, but uh he's kind of ruining my book because my this book I'm writing is it was all about how about how amazing it would be if a really cool coach took over Carlton and actually let them play and run free and fulfil their potential in the bust and he's done it.

SPEAKER_01 8:27

I should have got the book out earlier.

SPEAKER_04 8:29

You are a self-fulfilling prophecy. Maybe you are, but I like the the thing I like too is that that the CEO and the coach at Carlton are both Collinger players. Yes, that's trying to be good.

SPEAKER_02 8:44

I did you see the press conference? I didn't think they answered that question very well, actually. I was a bit suspicious when they when they asked the question. Well, as it stands today, we're Carlton people. It's like, what do you mean as it stands today? What are you gonna do next week?

SPEAKER_04 9:00

Just but it was just keeping that open.

SPEAKER_01 9:02

Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_04 9:04

We might not be tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 9:07

It was it was an interesting question. Oh, sorry, it was an interesting response.

SPEAKER_01 9:11

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 9:12

Because uh Graham might didn't even answer the question.

unknown 9:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 9:18

Oh dear. But uh wasn't I I it's good to see Carlton followed the process.

SPEAKER_02 9:23

The process. What process did they follow?

SPEAKER_04 9:26

Like serious.

SPEAKER_02 9:27

Was there anyone else in that? Well, yeah, there's other four guys, uh, and but what I don't get is that they've made this big thing about how Josh Fraser went through the full process, but he only put his hand up a week before to say I'm all in, and then he's appointed. So did the whole process happen just in that week?

SPEAKER_04 9:47

Or I know I think I think the process was Josh, when you apply, we'll give it to you. That was the process. If there was any other process, stage one, two, or three, all involving just somebody ring Josh and tell him to apply, for fuck's sake.

SPEAKER_02 10:04

I'll tell you what, every every bloody football isn't the same in other sports. I've got to watch for it now because it all they fucking talk about is the process. Fraser said in the press conference as well, you know, I want us to be a process-driven team, not so much about outcomes. It's like, no, we want the freaking outcomes. We haven't had any outcomes for 30 years. Don't give a fuck about a process. Give us the outcomes.

SPEAKER_04 10:30

Oh, I would love it. It'd be so refreshing if a coach was appointed and said, Look, I actually I don't want to be a process-driven team. Yes, I actually want them to just all run around like idiots. Yeah, they're great. No process. Uh, we're just here for fun. No process. We don't have a process here at Collingwood. Collagwood's the most process-driven team.

SPEAKER_02 10:49

So is are they is that where it's were they the lead on that, McRae's process?

SPEAKER_04 10:54

I think you'll find, yes, because we don't have any flogs. Oh my god. What I should say is we don't we everyone plays their role, I think, is the other way of saying that.

SPEAKER_02 11:06

So if your role is to be a flog, then that's that's what I mean.

SPEAKER_04 11:09

No, everyone just does their job properly.

SPEAKER_02 11:12

See? Even even Buddy McStay's taking marks these days. As soon as we started talking about how he never marks the ball, he's never he hasn't dropped one.

SPEAKER_04 11:19

He's never dropped one, yeah. Oh it's been a bit. Do you know the two best performed teams in the last 10 weeks are Coldingwood Carlton? And they couldn't get a kick in the first six or seven rounds, they couldn't even touch the bloody feet. Your blokes were kicking it sideways and over your head. And I know how does that work? I just fascinated. How do you so bad?

SPEAKER_02 11:44

It's it's just yeah, no, well, it just shows like this is the thing. That's the book. It's like they've all got the talent, all the teams are drafting the same players, uh, and and then you got uh teams like Geelong uh that have got this amazing process and and culture and stuff, and they just keep operating at that high standard. I mean, Geelong hasn't had access to the same level of players for the last 15 years or something as as Carlton has.

SPEAKER_04 12:13

Oh, I think, but Geelong Geelong's playing in a different competition, clearly. Because so I heard today that Geelong is the front runner to get um butters from Port Allen.

SPEAKER_02 12:24

How?

SPEAKER_04 12:25

And I'm like, honestly, there should be a Royal Commission into draft people going to Geelong. I it's just a an industry. I mean, they've got Jeremy Cameron, Bailey Smith, now they're gonna get this boat, they've got Dangerfield before that.

SPEAKER_01 12:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:39

What on earth? How can they possibly pay those five anywhere near what they're worth? There's gotta be something going on there.

SPEAKER_02 12:46

It's just just it's the lifestyle, mate. It's the air down here.

SPEAKER_04 12:50

But do you reckon that's a good time? Do you reckon people people take 10 or 20% off? Well, yeah, but maybe well, I think there's something in it. But I should first acknowledge that yes, perhaps, you know, it's quite a beautiful part of the world down there in the where are you leading? Yeah, East Geelong. Geelong East. Remember that wasn't there. Remember in the old VFA days, Geelong West? Remember Geelong West?

SPEAKER_02 13:13

Yeah, Geelong West.

SPEAKER_04 13:14

Yes, they used to have that the the sort of the white jumper with the du what the red W on it for West.

SPEAKER_02 13:20

I don't remember that.

SPEAKER_04 13:21

Should have been a GW. Yeah, yeah. They had the and then who else was there in a VFA? Were we?

SPEAKER_02 13:29

I tell you what what I need to do? I I keep forgetting and not thinking about it, but I want to get into the VFA, or what's now called the VFL. Because I I think that's where sort of good bad old good old grassroots footy is happening. Uh and I want to go to more local footy and stuff. Oh who's the local team down in uh oh the cooters, top of the ladder. Uh the uh Queens Clothes. What are they called? Cooters, the cooters, barracudas.

SPEAKER_04 13:58

The barracudas.

SPEAKER_02 13:59

Seriously? Well, just the cooters. Actually, I don't think they're barracuders, I think they're the cooter boats. Uh you know, they because that's Queenscoach's famous for those big yachts that I don't know, they're in the 1800s or 900s. In the American chart, sorry, was it? No, not no, they're more fishing. Aren't they equal? Uh scooters.

SPEAKER_04 14:21

They shouldn't be called the I know nothing about boats, but they're sort of like the schooners. Yeah, they should have a a football competition and teams have to be able to get a few. Schooners versus the cooters. Schooners versus frigates. What's a frigate?

SPEAKER_02 14:38

A frigate. What is a frigate? A frigate's a warship, is it? Well, how do they name all the ships? Yeah, but how big is a frigate versus a schooner or versus a frigate massive, isn't it? Isn't it is a frigate? Uh god. I don't think I don't think frigates are the big ones. Anyway, we're getting off track. Battleships sound good. Battleships, yes.

SPEAKER_04 14:55

But the cooters, the the Port Lonsdale couders.

SPEAKER_02 14:57

No, the Queenscliff Queensdale. Queenscliff Couders.

SPEAKER_04 15:00

Is there is there no Port Lonsdale tenure?

SPEAKER_02 15:03

No, no, no. No, too small down here. No, this then we're all too old. Oh maybe you should meet. Nobody lives in Port Lonsdale. It's under um 63. No, no, no, I don't mind sixty.

SPEAKER_04 15:14

There's no players. You get a helicopter with them in from Melbourne or something like that.

SPEAKER_02 15:20

Well uh we're talking about Geelong and the lifestyle. Um the cooters now as we speak. Cooters Football Club. Um from the quite a lot of guys from the and and women from the peninsula like to come down and play it for the couders because of the Queen's life lifestyle. So how do you spell cooters? C-O-U-T-A-S.

SPEAKER_04 15:51

Not C double O.

unknown 15:53

No.

SPEAKER_04 15:54

Or K double O T.

SPEAKER_02 15:58

Barracuders. Oh, yeah. And it has got a barracuda or something on it. That is a barracuda. Maybe the maybe the boat's named after the barracuda as well. Big club small town. Oh nice.

SPEAKER_04 16:12

I like their marketing department already. Yeah. Better than Carlton's. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:18

That's a ball. Who runs that?

SPEAKER_02 16:21

They've been going overboard this week. It's like every like every hour or so there's some other notification. Come and see 27 questions with Josh Fraser walking through the Fraser and uh what about um yeah, we've made the finals.

SPEAKER_04 16:35

Fuck off. You are you will be ninth or tenth.

SPEAKER_02 16:39

This is you know, um, I I can't be bothered going back and listening to our podcast, but I'm pretty sure at the start of the season when we were poo-pooing the wild card, poo-pooing, I said I said the happiest day of my life will be if Collingwood finishes eighth and we finish ninth, yeah, and you have to play us and we could knock you out of the finals. And this could be exactly what happens.

SPEAKER_04 17:02

Well, it's only fair we've done that to you about 12 times and win, by us. So you know what?

SPEAKER_02 17:07

It'll be the big build-up, and that's what's gonna happen, and then you'll just thrash us.

SPEAKER_04 17:12

I reckon I do reckon you'll beat Freo, they'll just bring the seconds. Why why on earth would you fly a full strength team to Melbourne to play that game? Yeah, and but Collingwood's got to rest half deck. Like, why would you play Dakos? Like, seriously, why?

SPEAKER_02 17:25

Well, because you can't really do anything either, can you?

SPEAKER_04 17:27

Makes no sense.

SPEAKER_02 17:28

Yeah. Um now speaking of Collingwood, all I uh well actually, firstly, before we talk about Collingwood, we should always I like my sound effects.

SPEAKER_04 17:44

Um what about we we play we literally play children on the weekend and still really beat bloody hawthorn? Amazing, yeah, brilliant.

SPEAKER_02 17:53

No, you're you're you're looking good. I love I like it.

SPEAKER_04 17:56

And um playing a good time to football.

SPEAKER_02 17:59

But every time I've looked on this week, every time every time I see anything, it's bloody sidebottom with his kids and telling his kids how he's finishing up at footy, and they're all crying, and then Pendlebury's speaking about it.

SPEAKER_04 18:16

I was listening to that and crying lying on my lounge in Lombok Lounge. Uh and uh yeah, watching all that, and it was like ooh, he just said it to a few people like, yeah, try not crying when you listen to that. Ah, it's all about side. And then he's out ill. I reckon he was out because he didn't he couldn't trade, he didn't do anything else all week except listen to videos of himself. Oh, so he's out, he's out, he was out, he was out, he was out on the weekend. He's coming back for his 374th game.

SPEAKER_02 18:52

Wow. I saw I something came up today and it was Pendleby crying, and I thought, oh yes, great, they're both gonna go. Uh, but no, it's him crying about sidebottom. It's like, oh come on, pull yourself together. We're the real men. There's a real men on this bloody sucky crying, bringing kids and oh, get back to the old days.

SPEAKER_04 19:13

Nobody retires a Calton. Who was the last person who retired Calton who was dead?

SPEAKER_02 19:17

Don't care. They just go. We don't care. We just uh nobody cries.

SPEAKER_04 19:22

Just just trace them down to the arrows, push them down. Yeah, that's it. Fuck off, get out. When was the last person who retired Calton who was any good?

SPEAKER_02 19:31

Sam Doherty last year, I think.

SPEAKER_04 19:33

No, no, I said any good. He was any good. So he was alright. Maybe you're like Mark Murphy, maybe. Well, did you hear about Mark Murphy? Yeah, about I think was he you sent it to me? Mark Murphy belted some bloke in Italy.

SPEAKER_02 19:46

Yeah, yeah. Hero good hero.

SPEAKER_03 19:50

He's a hero. Some bloke tries to mug him, and so he belts him and puts him in the headlock.

SPEAKER_02 19:54

But he it didn't, he was mugging someone else, and then he went and saved that person. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 20:01

Australians on holiday. That's the way we that's the way we roll. Don't mess with Australian rules football. Um yes. Now what we're talking about.

SPEAKER_02 20:11

Uh should we talk? Should we talk about the rest of the teams in the finals? So we what are we uh? I want Freo to win, to be honest. If we can't win, let's let's just let can Frio win? They're a good side. They've played brilliantly all season. They played on footy. I'll probably just let them have one. Can we let them have one?

SPEAKER_04 20:31

They've never won one, have they? A UFL?

SPEAKER_02 20:33

No, no, they deserve it.

SPEAKER_04 20:35

That's because they've got an anchor on there. It's like the shackles. It's like just shackles. Take the anchor off.

SPEAKER_02 20:42

That's putting on the to put on the first boat. They've got them one in the first boat. They they have shackles in uh ports, I don't know. That's where they come from.

SPEAKER_04 20:50

Well, I think the anchor, don't anchors have shackles attached to them? Probably. Yeah. Maybe that's that's why it is here. They've taken the anchor off this emblem and they're they're playing without the shackles.

SPEAKER_02 21:00

If they they did play in the anchor last week, I think. Uh so if they I reckon, well, here's a tip if they play in the anchor during the finals, they won't win.

SPEAKER_04 21:11

I don't know. Do you know what I realised? Let's assume we go with our theory that Melbourne finishes seventh, yeah, and therefore Adelaide sneaks into the top six. Fremantle will be the only team whose mascot is not an animal. So that's gotta be something.

SPEAKER_02 21:33

Wow, okay. Oh yeah, what like last year we had feathers and and fur. Yeah. Well, what's what's the theme? What's the Well that's true? I don't know. Depends who's the lions, hawks, well no, what it would be.

SPEAKER_04 21:49

You're gonna have you're gonna have Melbourne playing Carlton. No, Melbourne would shit. If we go with our theories, Collingwood Carlton, Melbourne.

SPEAKER_02 22:00

Doggies. Uh no, because dogs will be above us if they win. If they if Melbourne ends up seventh, they'll have to win. So they'll be above us. And actually if they yeah, if you so it'll be you, it'll be Collingwood dogs, Melbourne Carlton.

SPEAKER_04 22:19

Melbourne Carlton's the the battle of the uh non-animal mascots. Does that make any sense? I think we're pushing this. We're pushing this theory too far.

SPEAKER_03 22:32

I think we're taking this too far.

SPEAKER_04 22:34

Uh yes. I think Melbourne Doggies is a bit of a raffle. I don't know who's going to win that. Melbourne had continually thought they were going to tank all the air, they just haven't.

SPEAKER_01 22:45

Yeah, I think.

SPEAKER_04 22:46

Or what's his name? Uh Van Royan is is out. Oh, he's taking it to the appeals. Taking it to the high court.

SPEAKER_02 22:53

What the hell was he thinking? He's young, he's hung his arm out. He's got the bloke in the head, and he's just about he's passed out before he even hit the ground.

SPEAKER_04 23:01

They're gonna think it they're gonna go on their scheduled after Aaron Patterson's appeal for the mushroom.

SPEAKER_03 23:10

Hey, would you just can you finish at 3 30 so we could just sneak in? So some blood kind of AFL tribunal and a sleep in.

SPEAKER_02 23:20

I love all the tribunal stuff. So I mean, with something like that, what what would you possibly appeal on? I mean, there's cameras from every angle. He's hung his hand, hand he's hit him in the head, he's chosen so it might be careless instead of intentional, but I mean is that is that what they asked?

SPEAKER_04 23:38

Well, maybe it was well maybe I think they're trying to get it down from three to two or one or something. Yeah. Because then, you know. But he's out, so yeah. So and then they'll the doggies are gonna what's his name? Uh the bond responsibility, the bond. He's bad. So I reckon well no doggies do all right actually with half a side against you bikes.

SPEAKER_02 24:01

True.

SPEAKER_04 24:02

Against a full strength Carlton team.

SPEAKER_02 24:06

We went uh we weren't playing our best though.

SPEAKER_04 24:09

You're not I was sitting at lunch in Singapore was sort of getting 75 test messages from your family, uh, all freaking out. I think you're gonna miss an illness.

SPEAKER_02 24:23

It's the tensest game.

SPEAKER_04 24:25

Oh god. It was a bit tense. I thought, oh my god, sorry. And then I got the that was followed up on going out to dinner on a Saturday night in Singapore with another draw.

SPEAKER_02 24:34

Oh yes, yes. I know you've had it.

SPEAKER_04 24:38

Singapore's just full of drawers.

SPEAKER_02 24:40

This is the we've never had that before. Well, we'll lose what was it, 77 was the last time that there were two drawers on the same round. Is that right? So I didn't ever know you. I was 12, you're 11 or 10 or something like that.

SPEAKER_04 24:58

I was watching Collie would lose with grand final replay in 1997.

SPEAKER_01 25:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:03

And another fun fact in 77 it was the first televised colour grand final.

SPEAKER_01 25:11

Is that right?

SPEAKER_04 25:11

I think it was first I think it was the first televised grand final and it was e colour, I think. Wow. I believe so.

SPEAKER_01 25:17

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_04 25:18

And we lost that as well. We lost everything in the semi today. It's just like just it was just ruined by childhood. Ruined.

SPEAKER_02 25:29

Yeah, we can talk about the 79 grand final again if you like.

SPEAKER_04 25:32

We could.

SPEAKER_02 25:32

Wayne Harms.

SPEAKER_04 25:34

Little little plaque on the third row of the MCG.

SPEAKER_03 25:39

Did you see you're standing on the spot where Wayne Harvest punched the ball?

SPEAKER_02 25:43

I love it, yeah. Did you see that? Uh I can't even remember which game it was now. It was I think two weeks ago. Probably while you're away, you you might not have seen it, but it was Melbourne. There was a tight game between Melbourne. It was it was it Melbourne beat Frio a couple of weeks ago.

SPEAKER_04 25:59

Yes, yes, at the MCG. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:02

And there was a mark in the dying seconds, and he was seriously a meter over the boundary line.

SPEAKER_04 26:08

They never pay it. No, bound your empires, honestly, they they they just don't. They're too scared. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:16

Well, that's not that there was not much doubt about that. I don't I don't think it changed the result really, but it was pretty tense at the time. There were like, I don't know, 20 seconds left. I don't think there was enough time to get up the other end.

SPEAKER_04 26:28

Oh, there was maybe there was too many streamers on the ground. In the old days in the 70s, you're playing Grand Follow and the ground's covered in bullshit, like blue. Especially in the last quarter, yeah. Streamers, and then people have got those you know, those pom-pomps, those giant pom-poms, they used to lean over the fence, and and those things don't belt in the players in the head. And like, what were they thinking? Seriously.

SPEAKER_02 26:52

I'd forgotten until I watched it a year a couple of years ago, uh, again, but Harms kicked that himself. He kicked it. Yes, he did, yeah. No, and he ran after it. I mean, that's that's commitment. There's not a lot of that. So annoying.

SPEAKER_04 27:08

If it had been uh netball rules, he wouldn't have been allowed.

SPEAKER_02 27:12

No, he can't come in that in that circle.

SPEAKER_04 27:14

You know, but yes, it was, and then but the whole ground is just covered in. Imagine that these days. My god, they'd have a funny fit. It was funny. But they managed in those days, they managed to get through a game of football, mostly uninjured, when uh both teams wore the same colours. North Melbourne played Colliewood in basically the same jumpers. No, no one seemed to miss it. Well, the other thing they did, and they used to play with shit all over the ground. And they used to play one umpire mud heaps like it was just a bob.

SPEAKER_02 27:52

I know, I know. And one umpire.

SPEAKER_04 27:55

And one umpire, and we still managed to get through a game.

SPEAKER_02 27:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:59

Amazing.

SPEAKER_02 27:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:00

Surely they surely we'd rather go back to one umpire.

SPEAKER_02 28:02

Four is just they have to do something. But I mean who knows, they probably won't. We say they have to, but the A film never seems to do anything like that. But um uh that's the there was one in our game the I forget what it was, was sort of on the wing, and that one umpire paid it hole in the ball, and the umpire from the goal square or just next to the goal, yes, yeah, who had that had the back to the player, whistled and called it a no, it was the hand pass that did well anyway. It was um was just outrageous.

SPEAKER_03 28:39

What about the in your game when the guy was doing it? Dolly you scored a goal, and that guy's just basically threw it one hand.

SPEAKER_02 28:46

Oh, throwing it like completely and the umpire when you watch the replay, the umpire's standing right like three metres away from that. Oh no, exactly in the right position.

SPEAKER_03 28:57

I watched that back and thought, my god, how could you possibly think that that was not a throw? I know it's a one-handed, a one-armed handball.

SPEAKER_02 29:10

So actually, that would have put us above, we would have been above if we had a won, would we? We would have been 45, but our percentages better. No, we'd still be we'd be ninth. We'd be up against you, and we wouldn't have to beat Freo. Really? It's because of that stupid umpire. That actually the AFL should sue that umpire because if Carlton doesn't play Collingwood in the wildcard, there won't be 100,000 at the MCG and they will make whatever millions of dollars less. No, Aeon. So they should sue that umpire for that mistake.

SPEAKER_04 29:44

Well, maybe they should, but you're on 46, you'd otherwise be on 48. The dog is on 50.

SPEAKER_02 29:49

Yeah, but the dogs would have been on 48, right? Because they've got two points two, and our percentage is better, so we would have been on 48 with a better position, better percentage. God, it's so complicated.

SPEAKER_04 30:03

That's you're one of the you're bet you're better at these stupid letters than me. Yes, I am.

SPEAKER_02 30:07

Yes, that's correct.

SPEAKER_04 30:08

What's the uh have you done the the recent letter? Oh you're on the better thing because it's the last round, right? So if we if we we need to we need to do a letter if to see who beats who this is oh yes, yes, because it's the last round.

SPEAKER_01 30:24

We can play Freo and finish top.

SPEAKER_04 30:29

See, that would stop. That would stop this is the that rule would stop teams resting players.

SPEAKER_02 30:35

That's what the wild card round should be. Whoever wins this seem a bit unfair that you could play the whole season.

SPEAKER_04 30:43

Who would that be? Yeah, but that would be brilliant. So what else is there? St. Kilder and Sons, no one cares. Doesn't matter. But then Collingwood plays Brisbane, so we could end up third.

SPEAKER_02 30:52

So you could be third.

SPEAKER_04 30:54

You guys could end up first. First. The dogs could end up, you know, fourth or fifth.

SPEAKER_02 31:00

Nice, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:00

Yeah, then Richmond could end up uh in the finals. So could the Giants, they could end up sixth or seventh, and uh and North Melbourne. North, yeah and the Eagles. So you think that would be my theory is better than a wildcard round, right? Yes, that is better than a wild car. Let them play, and then the end at the end you just say, right, whoever beats who, and then that wouldn't none of this frio wrestling play is bullshit.

SPEAKER_02 31:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:28

They'd be over with a full side.

SPEAKER_02 31:31

That's fantastic, and it's um imagine like we complain about the lack of integrity in that role. Imagine it. Imagine that. Talk about lack of integrity. There's a slight chance that Hawthorne could lose to West Coast. They like they've got to got a run on a bit. What were they ahead of you, you guys at three-quarter time or somebody? No, no, uh anyway. They would did okay for half a game against you, I think, and a couple of others. If they just got a run on uh and everything went their way, yeah, and Hawthorne would be out, that would be fantastic. I can't I can't can't get to Hawthorne. They just okay. I'm going to I think we should keep that ladder for next week, and then whoever they replace, if they do beat them, whoever they replace in the finals, that becomes them uh for the rest of the final series.

SPEAKER_04 32:25

So it's a chance to finish on top.

SPEAKER_02 32:30

Yeah, yeah, and we could and we could win the whole premiership because you know we get home finals.

SPEAKER_04 32:37

I think it's the only way Carlton's gonna win a flag. You have to you have to just making it up, you've got to cheat basically. Oh, we have to 31 years now, yeah, 31 year anniversary.

SPEAKER_01 32:49

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_04 32:50

They'll start doing that. Are they doing are they still celebrating the 95 premiership, or are they just stopped that because it's just too embarrassing? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:00

Uh I'm still celebrating it.

SPEAKER_04 33:05

Oh dear. 31 years. Wow. I think Colonel went 30 32, actually.

SPEAKER_02 33:12

Well I aren't we the second longest now. We're the second longest after St. Kilda, I think.

SPEAKER_04 33:17

St. Kilda. Uh well not counting those who haven't won it at all. Exactly. I think Adelaide's close behind you. What ninety seven? Ninety seven, ninety eight.

SPEAKER_01 33:33

Didn't they? Didn't that didn't didn't they not win in the eighties?

SPEAKER_02 33:36

No, no, in the sorry, in the um 2000s? Yeah, they won in the 2000s, eh? Adelaide that.

SPEAKER_01 33:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:45

No, it was all Geelong, Sydney, West Coast, Brisbane, Essington. Jesus. So you're following the the Cooters. When did the Cooters last win the premiership? Was that last year?

SPEAKER_02 34:03

Uh I don't know actually. I just got off their website. I just looked up. The Adelaide Crows' last premiership overall was April 9th, 2022. Um that was the AFL World. Oh, the W, yeah, yeah. Season six.

SPEAKER_04 34:19

Uh 98. 98. Yeah, quite right. Yeah. You have a 95, there's a 95 behind you. But yes, St. Kilder, and then who else? Who's the one after that? Essendon. Maybe after that. North Melbourne. 99. There's a few. There's a few very close together. You got Carlton, Adelaide, North Melbourne. Essentially. North was 99, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 34:46

Yeah. Against us.

SPEAKER_04 34:48

Yeah. Oh, against the Benny Essen. That's the greatest non-grand final ever, I reckon. The 99 preliminary final.

SPEAKER_02 34:57

That was so that was so good. We didn't care about a grand final. I just realized um during the week, actually, that the last two grand finals that Carlton was in were the two years my kids were born. So I should have another kid. Just to get another.

SPEAKER_03 35:15

Oh, there's a theory.

SPEAKER_02 35:25

Anybody uh listening?

SPEAKER_04 35:28

No, you could you could you could donate your sperm? Well, you can't do that either because I don't think I can do anything. I think that uh ship has sailed, I believe. I think your that's uh that frigate has sailed.

SPEAKER_02 35:43

Does that mean I'm never gonna have uh we're never gonna have a premiership or being in a grand final? Is that true? 95 and I know 95. Jesse was born in 96, of course. So Alex was born in 99. Um, but yes. February 96, so she was so you know you said alive.

SPEAKER_04 36:06

You know how you said that Carlton's only won a premiership when in the years your kids are born. What you really meant was Carlton, your kids weren't born in in a Carlton premiership year.

SPEAKER_02 36:18

So before both my kids were I'm really gonna clutching now.

SPEAKER_03 36:27

So when you're saying what you said, you didn't actually mean that.

unknown 36:32

No.

SPEAKER_03 36:32

No, no.

SPEAKER_04 36:35

So uh Alex and Jess, if you're watching or listening, he's got no idea.

SPEAKER_02 36:41

They I don't think they've listened to our podcast for a couple of years now. Oh no.

SPEAKER_04 36:45

Early on they were uh up for can I we just take a moment. Yeah, well, there was as far as I know, an uh a soiree at uh Port Monstable at which my name was mentioned as someone wanting to meet or re reacquaint themselves with Podcast Martin, were they not? Yes, correct. Somewhat famous in either Lonnie or in on the airwaves.

SPEAKER_02 37:11

Yeah, number one ticket holder.

SPEAKER_04 37:14

I'm one more person more famous than you.

SPEAKER_02 37:19

Yeah, yeah, actually, nobody calls me podcast Dom. Why do you think Podcast Martin?

SPEAKER_04 37:24

Well, I think it's because there's a familiarity that goes with you, because she knows you better than me. But clearly I'm the more entertaining.

SPEAKER_02 37:33

Obviously, yeah. Yeah, well, I mean, I'm known for a number of things, but this is all you're known for.

SPEAKER_03 37:38

It's entertainment. Entertainment's not one of them.

SPEAKER_04 37:42

Um so if if we ever got to a point where we were, you know, truly famous and earning wads of cash, uh like how would we split it up? Because at the moment we don't have that problem.

SPEAKER_02 37:59

No, no. I'm very happy to discuss that at some point. We should when it does come up.

SPEAKER_04 38:06

We should need to do commercials, I think.

SPEAKER_02 38:09

Yeah, we're not.

SPEAKER_04 38:10

As if not, I don't mean advertisements, I mean you know, commercial arrangements.

SPEAKER_02 38:14

Yeah, so do you think we need a contract between us?

SPEAKER_04 38:17

Well, you know, we can't.

SPEAKER_02 38:18

In the event that we suddenly become multi-millionaires.

SPEAKER_04 38:23

Like oh, it's a good problem to have.

SPEAKER_02 38:25

Yeah, yeah. Well, I think you've got to look to the future, you've got to think about the future.

SPEAKER_04 38:29

Well, you do. Well, then you've got your but you're gonna have your book flooding it as well. So you're gonna I don't know how you're gonna divide your time between book signings and and well podcasts.

SPEAKER_02 38:40

And of course, Netflix will sign it up as a series. So the podcast or the book? Or both? The book. The book, I think. Well, probably both. But that's why we do need to get our contract sorted before that happens because otherwise you'll take all my money. Uh, and you'll be you'll be leeching off my success.

SPEAKER_04 39:00

Leech. I'll be leech. I'm happy to leech off your success, actually.

SPEAKER_03 39:05

If you can if you if you could have any, I'd be happy to leech off it.

SPEAKER_02 39:08

Blood sucking leech.

SPEAKER_04 39:13

I guess it could be my uh you know, your occupational text return? Leech. Leech, yeah. Bloodsucking leech. Blood sucking leech. Um BSL.

SPEAKER_02 39:26

BSL. It's like the big friendly giant, it's not quite the same thing. You're the BFG or the BSL.

SPEAKER_04 39:37

BSL, a blood sucking leech. I'm happy to do that actually.

SPEAKER_02 39:42

Who would be the blood sucking leech of the AFL club wise? GWS at the moment.

SPEAKER_04 39:51

I'm sort of the only thing is I think I don't it's hard to say that because those clubs do have it a bit rough, I think. Yeah, check out the gold coast. Honestly, there's 400 million comments and nobody there for that.

SPEAKER_02 40:09

Yeah, and there's no nothing in the shops, there's nothing the airport.

SPEAKER_04 40:13

You know, I'm gonna it it's obvious when you when you when you say this, but you've got to think through it. There's Jalal. Oh they're the blood sucking leeches of the AFL because they get everything, right? They just suck and suck and suck. That's true, that's true. And they never give what do they give back? Nothing. They just leech off they leech the bloody the um the draft, they leased everything. Now, the only thing they don't leech is they really should have a home final at Coninia Park. That is, that is not leaching. But they leech everything else. That's true, and they get away with fucking they get away with everything, they get away with everything. They are the BSLs of the AFL.

SPEAKER_02 40:57

The BSL of the AFL. I can I can feel the title of the podcast coming on.

SPEAKER_03 41:03

BSL of the AFL, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 41:06

But it has to be July. It has to be.

SPEAKER_02 41:09

Yeah, I think you're right, actually.

SPEAKER_04 41:10

It cannot be an interstate team. I I don't think I just don't think it can be.

SPEAKER_02 41:14

No, it's not fair. Yeah, no, they get everything.

SPEAKER_04 41:18

They leech, they leech up everything. They get away with everything, they get everything. Everyone goes like they are.

SPEAKER_02 41:24

You know, the other thing they get, which is better than the interstate clubs, so they they they have a foot in each camp, so they they complain about not getting a home final and uh and they're kind of a regional team, but then they get to play at the AFL at the MCG all the time. So like Sydney played there for the first second time this season, Brisbane's played once or twice. That uh Freo's hardly played there, so then they have to come into the MCG. Geelong plays there all the time, and all the big matches Hawthorne, Collingwood, Carlton, um, all those matches they play at the MCG. So they get to play, I don't know, six or eight times a year at the MCG. So they've got that advantage. Oh, so they can't have it both ways. Either you're a regional side and you don't play your big matches there, and you just stick to get in your park. Okay, they are they're the leaders.

SPEAKER_04 42:14

So they are, they are, and they are so far ahead of anybody else.

SPEAKER_02 42:18

Yeah, I think you're right. I hope my brothers don't listen to this one. This podcast. Oh, yeah, yeah. I've done plenty of listening. It may uh may make uh Christmas a bit uh fishy. But they are.

SPEAKER_04 42:36

You can't deny it.

SPEAKER_02 42:37

Yeah, you can't deny it if you want to.

SPEAKER_04 42:40

You can't deny it, really. I don't I think that's true. Yeah, uh, it's it can't be it can't be essentially anymore. Well, they probably were at one stage, but they're just so far from a leech. It's true. I mean, they probably wish they were a leech, actually.

SPEAKER_02 42:54

Even Gold Coast, you know, got lots of special picks and all that stuff. I mean Tasmania, I suppose, is is looming as the the next leech. They can but they have to do that sort of thing, right? To set a t.

SPEAKER_04 43:09

Esinant, it's all it's almost like Essendon wishes they were a blood sucking leech.

SPEAKER_03 43:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 43:17

I don't know what you call Essinan, but it's not a BSL.

SPEAKER_02 43:20

No. They've just lost everybody's lost interest in them. Nobody talks about Esnant anymore. So do we think so bad? And so I know.

SPEAKER_04 43:28

I I haven't talked to Essendon supporters, and they just like I I can't even talk about it. This is just embarrassing embarrassing.

SPEAKER_01 43:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 43:34

Do we do we think that they're gonna appoint James Heard as a coach? Do we really think that's gonna happen? Well, well it I mean I haven't heard anything much for a while now, so maybe not, but the the SNM supporters I know are hoping it's uh Mark Montre, the formless sports point. Yeah. But yes. And they're not very happy with it being heard. I think everyone's just like seriously.

SPEAKER_02 43:57

Yeah. I've met a couple of Fans that think it would be good to have heard because it's a bit of they sort of heard fans and felt like he was caught up in that it wasn't just his fault and he w played a minor part in the case. So this is a bit of redemption and all this stuff. And they're like, oh really?

SPEAKER_04 44:14

Of course it wasn't James's fault. Nothing's James's fault. In fact, you know, the whole club's just been grossly hard done by poor things.

SPEAKER_02 44:24

Poor things. Fuck.

SPEAKER_04 44:31

I was gonna say if they do appoint James Herbs, they'll be they might be BSL too. We should have a ladder, a BSL ladder.

SPEAKER_03 44:42

Geelong in S one and Two, three and four, five and six.

SPEAKER_02 44:48

Would you be would you have a wild card? Wildcard rancor.

SPEAKER_04 44:51

Oh yeah, you could chip in and become the biggest leech. Well, you could. You could do something really dumb. Like if if Geelong get butters and they hang on everyone else, then they're just that that's like BSL for the next 10 years.

SPEAKER_02 45:13

Yes. Uh well that's good. I think that's uh is there anything else we need to talk about?

SPEAKER_04 45:18

I don't think so. I think we could finish on bloodsucking leeches, it's not a bad place to finish. Uh but we do need to come back next week to discuss the it's a wild card. No, the wild card's not this week, is it? It's around 24.

unknown 45:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:32

But what we could do is um No, we need the ladder.

SPEAKER_04 45:35

We need to figure out who's who's playing on behalf of other teams.

SPEAKER_02 45:38

I tell you what, because you're coming down here next week.

SPEAKER_04 45:42

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:43

Assuming that happens, that that will be on one of the wildcard matches.

SPEAKER_04 45:48

Oh, it'll be Colliewood too, because Colliewood.

SPEAKER_02 45:50

Oh my god, imagine if that was you and us.

SPEAKER_04 45:51

No, it's Friday night. That's where it gets interesting, right? So yeah, when did when do you play? Saturday.

SPEAKER_02 45:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:58

Like so you you can't have a six-day break into a toilet final. You can't.

SPEAKER_02 46:04

No, so we'd have to be Friday.

SPEAKER_04 46:06

So we'd have to we have to play No, but you play. Right?

SPEAKER_02 46:11

So you Saturday, right?

SPEAKER_04 46:12

I was originally thinking Collingwood would play on Friday because they're playing on Friday, but you can't because Carlton and the Bulldogs both play on Saturday, so it's gonna have to be Saturday. But then you can't do Adelaide play.

SPEAKER_02 46:26

Yeah, well then Adelaide Adelaide plays Sunday. No, no. Saturday, Sunday.

SPEAKER_04 46:33

Saturday. So all those Saturday.

SPEAKER_02 46:36

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_04 46:37

So they all play. So it has to be both both games have to be Saturday.

SPEAKER_02 46:41

They won't do that. It'll be Friday night and Saturday night. But but then they they will. But then like we play early, like so you play Friday night, we play early, 1.15, and the Bulldogs play 4.15. So they'll they'll play six-day break. They'll do it with a six-day break. Oh, that sucks. There's no way they'll play both games on Saturday.

SPEAKER_04 47:02

Oh, I don't mind because Colin gets an extra, you know, but you both have to get a six. But that just you can't you can't have a six-day break into a into a tourist.

SPEAKER_02 47:10

It's not a final, it's not a final, so it will be fine. We'll win. We'll we can take in anything.

SPEAKER_04 47:16

It could be do you know that Friday night could be Colin with Carlton's that would be a good one?

SPEAKER_02 47:19

Yeah, and you would down here. Wow.

SPEAKER_04 47:21

The last thing, the last place I want to be.

SPEAKER_02 47:28

I'm gonna hang up my scarf in your bedroom and all the the posters everywhere.

SPEAKER_04 47:34

There's no way she's gonna want to come down for that.

SPEAKER_02 47:36

Wow. I was thinking we should go, but um but yeah, I'd I I don't know how easy it's gonna get be to get tickets if it is that.

SPEAKER_04 47:46

Oh well no well, we're we're in Lottie, but you can go, we'll have your house.

SPEAKER_02 47:53

Well, I mean the um the disco down here, that's what you're coming down for. The monthly money DJ, uh they'll be they'll have lots of trouble because nobody will be watching. No, the footy. It's good.

SPEAKER_04 48:08

I still don't I still find it hard to believe. Oh, I think they'll do Saturday afternoon, Saturday night.

SPEAKER_02 48:14

No, because you can't no way. No way. You why would you be thinking there's some sort of integrity in this setup?

SPEAKER_04 48:23

It's a valid point.

SPEAKER_02 48:25

But that's just shit.

SPEAKER_04 48:26

You can't give some on a six-day break into a five day.

SPEAKER_02 48:30

I think they're all pretty used to it nowadays. You know, there's somebody, I mean sometimes it's a five or even four-day break. We had a four-day break for a few.

SPEAKER_04 48:39

I'm actually I'm I I must admit I'm half saying that because I just don't want it to happen on Friday when you can't get out of it too.

SPEAKER_02 48:46

Don't don't try and pretend you're sick or something.

SPEAKER_04 48:49

Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 48:49

You gotta you've gotta be down here. I'm gonna come and get you and put you in the car and bring you down.

SPEAKER_04 48:55

Dear me. No, you're right. I'm thinking through integrity when there is none.

SPEAKER_02 49:02

Yes, yes. You seem to be quite mistaken there.

SPEAKER_04 49:05

But you're playing early, you know? Aren't you play at like 10 30 in the morning or something?

SPEAKER_02 49:09

Yeah, yes.

SPEAKER_04 49:11

One of the good things when you're in Singapore, like the games start at like 10.30 in the morning. And they're all done by you know eight o'clock.

SPEAKER_02 49:18

Yeah, that's good actually. It used to be good in London too, because the night games are at like uh 8 30 in the morning on a uh I suppose Friday sometimes, but Saturday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Saturday night games.

SPEAKER_04 49:32

So you gotta go to work on a Friday morning and watch the footy.

SPEAKER_02 49:37

Watch Carlton. Everybody in London pretty much does, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 49:42

Alright, well, let's see what happens.

SPEAKER_02 49:45

Well, it's exciting. It's exciting.

SPEAKER_04 49:47

Could be anything. Could be anything. I'm not sure what a variant for. I think I'd rather play Carlton than Bulldogs, to be perfectly honest. Bulldogs.

SPEAKER_01 49:55

Yeah, probably.

SPEAKER_04 49:56

Yeah, they could be fucking terrible or bloody unbeatable and anything in between. Whereas you guys will just be shit anyway. So ha ha you won't.

SPEAKER_02 50:06

But we'll get this, we could get spooked though.

SPEAKER_04 50:08

I think Carlton's a bit more predictable. I think the doggies are very unpredictable. I'm not sure whether that's good or bad, but anyway.

SPEAKER_02 50:17

Well, by the time we uh speak again on this, we will know who's. See you next time. Goodbye, everybody. Where's the button that gives the siren? That's not good in here.

SPEAKER_04 50:50

Before we leave.

SPEAKER_02 50:51

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 50:52

Well, I'm assuming that's an actual song. The chicken dance was something like Italy, and we've just called it the chicken dance because everyone does the chicken dance too. Yeah, I think it's probably an actual song. We should Google it.

SPEAKER_02 51:03

Yeah, we should. But for now, we can say goodbye.

SPEAKER_04 51:07

We go back with the song.