Guys Dealings with Feelings
For men who say "I'm fine" when they're not.
Guys Dealings With Feelings is a podcast about what men actually carry — anger, grief, shutdown, the things they don't say out loud. Aaron Gray, who lost his infant son Joel in 2012, hosts with his childhood friend Jason, a therapist with 18 years of clinical experience. One of them has lived it. The other knows the language.
Together they talk about identity, trauma, presence, being a man, and what it takes to feel anything again — without judgment or performative toughness.
Also searchable as Guys Dealing With Feelings.
Guys Dealings with Feelings
Self-Sabotage Isn't Real: Why You Keep Getting in Your Own Way
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You keep getting in your own way. You know what you should do. You can even picture yourself doing it. But when the moment comes — the cold call, the hard conversation, the next step on the thing you actually want — something stops you. And then you spend the rest of the day calling yourself self-sabotaging, undisciplined, or lazy.
In this episode, Jason (a licensed therapist with over 18 years of experience) and Aaron unpack why "self-sabotage" is the wrong word for what's actually happening — and why using it keeps you stuck.
What you'll learn:
- Why calling it "self-sabotage" is a form of gaslighting yourself — and what's really happening underneath
- The difference between dodging a person, a task, or a conversation, versus what you're actually dodging: a sensation in your body you don't have capacity for yet
- Why procrastination isn't laziness — it's a nervous system that's overwhelmed and can't take one more thing
- Why "rejection" isn't real — and why naming it that way keeps you afraid of feelings instead of building capacity for them
- Aaron opens up about his own block around cold sales: why he can walk into a vulnerable conversation with anyone but freezes at the basic ask
- The paradox at the heart of moving forward — the fastest way to act is to sit down first
- Why discipline isn't about willpower — it's about the capacity to be uncomfortable and move anyway
- Practical entry points: how to sit with sensation, when to use the breath, and how this rebuilds your nervous system's capacity over time
If you've been treating your stuck-ness like a character flaw, this is the episode that names it as something else entirely — and shows you the actual mechanism for changing it.
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