S2 Ep3. Building Bridges: A Journey of Resilience with Ron Stotts

In this inspiring episode of ABWilson's Heart of the Matter, host Aderonke Bademosi Wilson sits down with Ron Stotts, a dynamic individual whose journey is defined by resilience and determination. Together, they explore Ron's personal story of overcoming obstacles and achieving success, shedding light on the crucial role perseverance plays in both personal and professional growth.

Aderonke introduces Ron by highlighting his background and the unique experiences that have shaped his outlook on life and work. As they dive into the conversation, Ron reflects on pivotal moments in his life that tested his resilience, emphasizing how these challenges have imparted valuable lessons he now applies daily.

Listeners will hear firsthand about the specific hurdles Ron faced and the strategies he employed to navigate them. His insights offer inspiration and practical advice for anyone grappling with their own difficulties. The conversation takes a deeper turn as Ron opens up about how he discovered his passion and purpose, offering a relatable journey of self-discovery. He encourages listeners to pursue their passions with relentless commitment and unwavering faith in themselves.

Drawing from his own experiences, Ron shares actionable advice on building resilience, offering tips grounded in real-life scenarios that listeners can immediately apply in their own lives. Later in the episode, Aderonke invites Ron to share three surprising facts about himself, revealing unexpected aspects of his personality and interests that provide a more personal glimpse into his life.

Join Aderonke and Ron in this thought-provoking conversation that explores resilience, personal growth, and the power of perseverance. This episode serves as a powerful reminder for listeners to embrace their own journeys and recognize the strength within themselves.

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Transcript

Aderonke (00:01.324)

Welcome to another edition of AB Wilson's Heart of the Matter, a podcast that uses overwhelmingly positive questions to learn about our guests, where every episode uncovers extraordinary stories of triumph, growth, and empowerment. Hi, I'm Aderonke Bademosi Wilson and my guest on today's show is Ron Stotts. Ron is curious, a big picture thinker, and an inspirer. Ron, welcome to the show.

Ron Stotts (00:40.063)

Thank you very much for having me.

Aderonke (00:42.508)

Now, Ron, I wanna go start with your descriptors. Tell me about being curious. What does that look like to you?

Ron Stotts (00:53.565)

Being curious is always looking at the next level down and the next level and deeper and deeper. When I get into a conversation with somebody, I'm apt to be asking a lot of questions. And what I'm exploring is, well, what's under that? What's behind that? What motivates you for in there? What are your fears that you're not dealing with? And who would you be without those fears? It's just a matter of...

taking myself, taking others that I might be communicating with, down into a place of real honesty. A place where we're touching on what we need to heal, who we want to become, what our highest intention is.

Aderonke (01:39.959)

Thank you. And when you say big picture thinker, what does that look like?

Ron Stotts (01:47.487)

Well, I'm really interested in how do we create a more conscious and caring world. But even on a bigger picture, it's like understanding how do we get people to be bold enough to become more self-aware, emotionally intelligent and conscious enough so that they can recognize that we're all part of a oneness. And that oneness is really the consciousness of the universe. So that's a fairly big picture.

Aderonke (02:15.062)

And so what things have you done to become consciously aware? I just want to understand that just a little bit more.

Ron Stotts (02:24.531)

Well, back in my early 20s when I was working through my own issues dealing with personal challenges, I discovered meditation. And so I discovered breathing, I discovered self-awareness. And as I began meditation, meditation is about a single-pointed focus. And so some people might whirl in dervishes, dance in a circle. Other people do all sorts of...

one-pointed focuses, have a mantra, a yantra, or whatever it might be, my one-pointed focus is breathing. So I use my breath really to take me into any level of consciousness that I care or want to be in. And I use that breath to serve and support others in reaching the depths of who they are and the capabilities that they'd like to get to.

Aderonke (03:18.126)

And social meditation, regular practice, do you do it daily, weekly? How does that work?

Ron Stotts (03:25.373)

Well, I would say by the time I was 40, I had meditated about 40,000 hours. So yeah, I would say that was a dedicated practice. I'd been teaching meditation since I was in my early 20s. you know, so yeah, I would say I'm quite dedicated to it and continue to be.

Aderonke (03:48.526)

40,000 hours. That's incredible. That's truly, truly incredible. I'm going to do some calculations to figure out how many months in years that is. Thank you. And your last descriptor, inspirer. What does that look like for you?

Ron Stotts (04:05.823)

I'm really wanting, you know, get into conversations with others and it be just somebody I played golf with or it might be a potential client. It might be whoever it is. What I'm always interested in is what are they dealing with? What are they uncomfortable with? What are their challenges? What do they need to do to handle those challenges? And it's really learning. You know, I've spoken all over the world and I've... used to open up my conversation with the audience with, what does a child want more than anything else? And they would always kind of in unison chime back love. And then I'd say, well, do they want conditional or unconditional love? And then of course chime back unconditional. And I said, well, then what would a child do to get that unconditional love that they want more than anything else? And they always in unison again know that they'll do whatever it takes.

And then the fourth question is the one that really throws them off sometimes because I go, well, what did you do to get it? What did you do to maximize and optimize the amount of love you could get from your family of origin and society that you grew up in? And what they begin to recognize and where we take it is they really, their program for getting love is about getting love from outside of themselves. Who should I be? How should I feel? What exp...

What emotions am I allowed to express? Which should I hide? And in that, they recognize that they've really put everybody else in charge of their life. And so the initial work where you really go back in and do the inner healing, the inner child healing and the really reconnecting with all those disparate parts of yourself that you discarded to be accepted, you begin that inner journey of self-acceptance.

And as that continues, you begin to recognize, oh, my journey, that unconditional love that I've always wanted from and looked for from others really can only be found from within myself. And it comes through accepting all those different aspects of who and what I am. And that's how I become whole. That's how I become authentic. That's how I become unconditionally loving myself, opening my heart, opening my mind.

Ron Stotts (06:30.139)

And for me, working with leaders, that takes them into those levels of conscious leadership, where they're able to really create cooperative and collaborative organizations that are quite literally more successful and more profitable, more productive.

Aderonke (06:51.342)

Thank you, Ron. This is really interesting. And so this leads me to my first official question with you. Please share three interesting things about yourself that our listeners may not know and friends will be surprised to learn.

Ron Stotts (07:01.971)

Okay.

Ron Stotts (07:13.649)

I have experienced the oneness of the universe very fully.

I can use my breath to quite literally go into any level of consciousness that I care to go in.

Ron Stotts (07:35.671)

My wife sort of teased me about this. I do unconditionally love and accept myself. I really do. And it's a joy. You know, I noticed I was playing golf the other day and I hit a particularly good shot. I was with a friend. And I listened to myself. I was cheering my little boy on. said, great shot, Ronnie. Right, way to go. And it was just very spontaneous.

But I realized, yeah, I'm talking to my little boy. I'm really that encouragement, that love, that appreciation for all aspects of myself is still present and developing. And so.

Aderonke (08:16.046)

Now, when you talk to yourself in this way with unconditional love and acceptance and being supportive, do you say it out loud? Do you say it to yourself in your head? How does that work?

Ron Stotts (08:32.671)

As I just said, sometimes I say it out loud, not even catching myself as I'm doing it. And oftentimes, of course, I'm saying it internally. It's just a quiet moment of recognition, appreciation, and touching base with those different aspects of myself.

Aderonke (08:53.088)

And you said you've experienced the oneness of the universe. What does that mean?

Ron Stotts (08:59.741)

Well, our ego, which I think is a wonderful thing, but we've given it the job of protecting us and helping us get through the world. And most of us are coming from a fear-based sense of reality. So we really use our ego to protect us. that protecting really keeps us from breathing and opening up our heart. And I just lost your question. What was your question again, Simon?

Aderonke (09:24.622)

The question is, how have you experienced oneness of the universe?

Ron Stotts (09:30.362)

Back on track, here we go. It's really, it's, what you do is it's, you're breathing and letting go. And life becomes a process of breathing, letting go, breathing and becoming. And, you know, my meditation practice is really, in essence, that, where I sit and I breathe and let go, breathe and become. And the becoming is really, yes, initially becoming whole and

with yourself. In other words, this physical framework that we identify as self. But in time, as you heal, you also recognize that you're really one with everybody, that they are you, you are them. And so all of a sudden, that empathy and compassion you've developed for yourself is extended out into compassion and really caring about others. And even when somebody is doing something terrible, even if it's directly to myself, my thought isn't so much of me defending or anything. It's what do they need? What help are they calling for in whatever it is they're doing? And it's just that bigger picture perspective that everybody wants love, that anything they're doing other than being supportive in relationship to that is just coming from their own fear, their own anger, their own needs. And so it's, yeah.

It's just a matter of appreciating that. And that oneness continues. To me, God, if you will, is really nothing but consciousness. In the world, existence is nothing but an expression of that consciousness. So everything is that consciousness. It's not an old man sitting in a chair somewhere. It's just literally, we are that consciousness also. We are a part of that.

all of existence. with the breathing, with the quieting of the mind, you can really expand into that and have a direct experience of it.

Aderonke (11:39.598)

Thank you, Ron. That's given me a lot to think about, quite frankly. And I know when I go back to listen to your voice, which is also very calming, right? It's very soothing. I'm going to think about, especially what you said, if things are directed at you asking yourself, what does this person need? What love are they looking for? Which I'm sure isn't the easiest thing.

to do at a moment of stress or a moment of conflict.

Ron Stotts (12:16.379)

And I would support you to breathe and sit in silence with it rather than try and think about it.

Aderonke (12:22.702)

Thank you.

Ron Stotts (12:24.032)

That's where you'll access the best of who and what you are, from that silence within yourself.

Aderonke (12:31.724)

Okay. Can you tell us about a recent accomplishment or success that you're particularly proud of?

Ron Stotts (12:41.827)

A couple of them. One is, you know, I helped work with a fellow who had five, you know, national, international businesses, very successful. And he was really a top-down, controlling kind of micromanaging leader. And his life was falling apart and his businesses were falling apart. was losing key people.

The love of his life was leaving his two adult sons were disconnecting from him. And when it came to me, you know, being the kind of a bull of a guy, he really wasn't open to being vulnerable and sharing everything with me initially. But it really took very little time before he began to learn to breathe, began to look deeper through sentence completion, answering questions.

looking deeper and began to become more self-aware of how his past was influencing his current ways of being, how he related people more from a controlling place because he was a fear of rejection than a caring place that would lead to being more supportive.

And within months, he was restructuring his businesses. Within a year, had more than doubled the value of three of them. And he had also sent me several of his C-suites. And they had gone through the work and become CEOs of his different organizations. And he was, you know, the love of his life came back. And they got married, they're wonderful couple, which I love that.

and his two sons came back and they're really now very fully connected again as a family. But to watch the influence that he's having in the world now is so positive. And me, I'm reaching one person in that case where he's reaching several thousand people and really enhancing their life. And that's the whole point of my work is to create more conscious leaders so that they can create a more conscious and caring world.

Ron Stotts (14:51.859)

through that ripple effect. know, if they're running the company from their ego, their fear, their anger, their mistrust, their micromanaging, then that's what ripples throughout the world. If they're leading from a place of really caring about their people, empowering their people, bringing out the best in their people, then they create a more cooperative and collaborative organization that also radiates out into the world. So that's what it's about.

Aderonke (15:18.158)

And so please tell us about a time when you made a difference in another's life. What were the circumstances? Paint a picture for me.

Ron Stotts (15:29.125)

Well, I maybe do it every day. mean, helping somebody else is really helping them know themselves. And, you know, I love to ask questions. I love to if I'm having a conversation with somebody and they're quietly expressing maybe a concern or a challenge that they're facing. It's like I love to go down that rabbit hole because I know you're in dealing with the symptoms, you're not going to really create any transformation. You have to go down to the source to create that transformation. And I do appreciate that that's scary for most people. But I also know that that's where the work really happens. That's where the transformation happens. But for me, it's so exciting. It's such a gift to be part of that transformation with everybody because you watch them light up. You watch them the armor fall off their heart. You watch their mind open up. You watch them access parts of themselves that they had no idea that they even had. And in that self-acceptance and love and that becoming who they authentically are, they see their higher vision. They really, literally, it's like that veil is lifted and they see what their purpose in life is. And all of a sudden they have this direction and sense of self and...

And all of they start reaching out in the world and making a difference. I I was on a call with a client this morning and he went from this quiet introvert that didn't feel like he fit in to now he's got his podcast, he's moved into high levels of leadership within his organization. And it's just really rippling through hundreds of people and it'll turn into thousands very quickly.

So it's just a thrill to watch. So the last time I did it, about two hours ago.

Aderonke (17:33.504)

And so when looking back on those last two hours, but on the work that you have done and the work that you've been called to do, what were the key strengths and qualities you rely on to make a difference?

Ron Stotts (17:49.107)

Well, as you're probably well aware, you can't help people with something that you haven't taken care of within yourself. And so for me, it's always looking deeper, making sure that I'm current. I'll sit for four or five hours meditating every couple of months just to kind of review and make sure that I haven't been ignoring something within myself. And it's that.

that inner clarity that allows me to have clarity in my outer life and with others. So when they come to me with whatever they're dealing with, they're not getting some feedback that's throwing my fear filters or something like that. I can really be present and absolutely supportive of that journey. so, I've had a lot of therapists come to me, a lot of coaches come to me.

because they realize, I can't help, I'm not helping people through their anger or their sadness or their shame or whatever the issue might be that they haven't healed within themselves. But as I help them heal that, then they go back into their work and are able to help and heal others. Right now I'm looking at creating a coaching program. I'm really excited about it. One of my graduates had gone through all my work and she wanted to do it and it's time.

because I have a lot of material and I really, you I was like, well, you know, maybe it's time to give that material to others so they can share it more fully. And that's what I'm doing. Yeah.

Aderonke (19:25.976)

So how will people be able to find this information? How can they get it once you've completed it?

Ron Stotts (19:32.371)

Well, we'll have a formal coaching program that they can sign up for. I would just, you in terms of staying in touch or anything, the website's always going to have everything on it, of course. You know, and that's ronstots.com, S-T-O-T-T-S dot com. And, you know, I always have material on there that is free and they can begin their inner journey by answering questions and.

exploring through the different venues that I offer them just for free on that. But of course then all the programs and the books and all the blogs and all the other stuff that we do to reach out and serve is on there also. So the coaching program will be somewhere on that and connected to that directly. What I'm really excited about is it looks like we've

created a connection where if somebody goes through my coaching program, they'll also be able to give them a position where they can be coaching and making 10, 20 grand a year or a month right away. So yeah, that's gonna hopefully motivate people to step out of their comfort zone and step into their life.

Aderonke (20:51.597)

Mmm.

And so when you look at your accomplishments and the people that you have helped on your life's journey, during your life's journey, can you recall a situation where you overcame a challenge that led to personal growth? What did you learn from that experience?

Ron Stotts (21:17.183)

You know, back in my early 30s, I had spiritual abilities, let's say, siddhas as they're called in India, spiritual powers. And I use those in my training, thinking that if, okay, if they see me do these, have these experiences and go into these levels of consciousness, dissolve in front of them or...

you know, have all these different experiences that then they'll be drawn to that. And the truth was they were only drawn to the tricks, the siddhas, the powers. And my, know, it's like, how do I get them to reach out and open up their heart? How do I get them to open up their mind? And so that's always been my quest. And I think it just plays out in lot of different ways, you know.

Was your question when that I did that or what was the?

Aderonke (22:15.134)

Can you recall a situation that you overcame and what did you learn?

Ron Stotts (22:20.761)

Yeah, think, well, I would say that the one that I'm thinking about is where I recognized that I was going through life kind of playing chess. I always had five moves ahead in my game. And I realized that was just a way of me controlling and not trusting and being present. So I remember back then that was the big shift to open up my heart and be more vulnerable.

But what the surprise was is that all the strength that we find in our vulnerability, because once we're willing to be vulnerable, that means that we're willing to be authentic. That means we're willing to be accepting of ourself and honest about who we are. And that allows us to have freedom in life that I think you just otherwise never experience.

Aderonke (23:21.164)

Hmm. I've always been challenged by being vulnerable. And so I'm listening very intently to what you're saying. And you're saying there's a strength in your vulnerability. How does that work? Tell me about that. I always see, I must admit, as I'm getting older, hopefully wiser, my

Ron Stotts (23:37.11)

Yes.

Aderonke (23:49.474)

views on vulnerability have shifted, but I don't necessarily see it as a strength or allowing you to become stronger other than exposing yourself in a way that allows people to see you or even see yourself differently. So how does the strength play into that?

Ron Stotts (24:14.917)

Our fear of being vulnerable is fear. we, you know, we put, and growing up, we put armor all over our heart to protect it. We close our mind down to protect it. We shut and contract ourselves down, excuse me, out of fear. And we think that's protecting. We think that that's the way to take care of ourselves. And that keeps us being, you know.

not invulnerable. You appreciate the understanding what I'm saying? So people feel like being invulnerable means contracting down, which means you've just limited yourself completely. Your heart's not open, your mind's not open, you literally do not have the neurological connections. Your mind is being run by your amygdala, the fear-based center, rather than the forebrain, which is your conscious CEO just waiting to blossom.

Aderonke (24:49.25)

Mm-hmm.

Ron Stotts (25:12.912)

as you quiet your mind. You don't have any access to big minds, the thing that I use to access information by just going into the silence. But if you're coming from that fear base, your mind is very noisy, you don't have access to an open heart, so you're not feeling and compassionate for yourself or others. And so all of that contraction makes you feel like you're in control.

But if you really look at it, that's the definition of being completely out of control.

So if you want to be in control, then you need to be in your power. You need to be self-accepting and open. Because the talents, the abilities that come with that, sensitivities, not in a bad way, but sensitivities in the sense of you just become more aware. Your emotions, you all of sudden begin to recognize your emotions are nothing but indicators of what's going on around you and in your life.

And so rather than contracting down, you learn to breathe into them and heal whatever is coming up so that you can even expand more fully. So it's a life where you're evolving rather than playing small on that contracted level of consciousness that you were previously surviving in.

Aderonke (26:33.824)

And is this an ongoing, I guess, practice, like, little less vulnerable or a little more vulnerable, a little more vulnerable, a little more vulnerable each time you go through the practice of breathing and accepting?

Ron Stotts (26:47.849)

Sure, certainly when people come to work with me, it's an accelerated time. I encourage people to recognize that their life is about evolving, not staying caught in some limited comfort zone. The comfort zone is really just some dimension, some range of consciousness that they've decided they're comfortable in. If they get too unconscious, go, I better meditate or whatever.

too conscious, then they go have several drinks with their friends and become unconscious or whatever they might do. So it's like, how about if we just continue to evolve? Life isn't about staying in some locked in limited comfort zone. It's about expanding and discovering who and what you're capable of being. I mean, that's the greatest adventure that you could possibly ever have. And it's one that is never ending.

Even death is just a transition into another level.

Aderonke (27:56.846)

Okay, so you said death is another level. What is? I couldn't let that go by.

Aderonke (28:09.23)

Talk me through that.

Ron Stotts (28:11.295)

Well, a lot of people think that, you know, there's, you know, I'm not trying to convince anybody of anything. But when you can allow your mind to quiet, when you allow yourself to expand and become one with the universe, you recognize that it's infinite. You know, where all of existence is just, you know, it's just vibration. It's just particles that are vibrating.

And the only thing that makes a difference in how that particle looks is the rate of vibration of that particle. Well, the higher your consciousness, the higher your rate of vibration is. And so the more conscious and connected you are with the world, the existence around you. And so, you have the opportunity, shall I say, of experiencing other worlds, experiencing other realities.

And as you do that, you become confident that, there's even maybe multiple selves out there simultaneously living in alternate universes. And, you I mean, you just have to go with what you experience and begin to understand that it's like life. The choices you have available are the result of the choices that you've made. You know, so if you make conscious

If you make choices to become extraordinarily conscious at that moment of death, you're going to have choices that allow you to continue that journey.

Aderonke (29:50.03)

You spoke about vibrations and I've always felt that when you meet people and you have an instant connection with them, it's because you're vibrating at the same level of frequency. Do you see it like that?

Ron Stotts (30:10.355)

think that's a safe way to look. Yeah, I think that's reasonable enough. know, it's really, I think, well, frequency and consciousness are related too. So yeah, I think your degree of openness, your degree of connectedness comes from that degree of openness, but it can also come from maybe I have particular challenges and you have complimentary challenges. So sometimes we come together to work those challenges out. You know, I... about 10, 12 years, and did a lot of very deep relationship work. And it was astounding to me, with all the hundreds of couples that came to me, that they were all perfect for each other. The only problem was if one didn't want to do the work. they wandered through the universe, they found this one person that was really their compliment, not the same, but complimentary in terms of working on their issues.

It's like take a woman and put her in a room of 100 people and if her dad was an alcoholic, she's going to find somebody else who has some relationship with alcoholism and then they'll create relationship and either heal that or hurt each other with it or whatever they do. You it's just, you can see it happening all around us. Well, let's just consider that on a bigger and grander basis.

Aderonke (31:35.928)

Thank you. That's super interesting.

Ron Stotts (31:39.743)

We do create our own reality. So if we heal it, we create a more conscious and caring reality.

Aderonke (31:47.852)

and we can create different realities for ourselves.

Ron Stotts (31:51.017)

Sure.

Aderonke (31:54.87)

You are listening to A.B. Wilson's Heart of the Matter podcast.

Welcome back to Heart of the Matter. My guest today is Ron Studs. And we've been having a fascinating conversation. Ron, you've given me a lot to think about and things about consciousness, breathing, meditation, vulnerability. I think they're gonna stay with me for a while. And so I must ask you about self-care practices. What self-care practices or strategies

help you to sustain your energy and motivation while navigating your journey.

Ron Stotts (32:37.471)

It's an interesting question, especially with some of the work I'm exploring right now. we're all, I would say we all have different degrees of sensitivities. And unfortunately, a lot of people feel like they're too sensitive. And it's like, no, you're never too sensitive. You're just not taking care of yourself well enough to use those enhancements to live a fuller life. So it's really a matter of...

understanding that's where if you don't have self-awareness, you haven't healed your emotional backlog, you're just completely at the effect of not only others but that emotional backlog. Your mind is, know, mean studies show that people who haven't done the inner work, they'll have the same thoughts every day. You know, they might be language differently but they're having the same thoughts all the time.

And the subconscious, we're only aware of about maybe 5 or 10 % of our thoughts. So that other 90, 95 % runs our entire life. And so if you don't do that inner work, if you don't take the time to stop and heal yourself, know, just a side note, quit passing it along to your kids. So they pass it along to their kids. Take responsibility and become the person who

really trims out that emotional family tree so that it's not passed along, so you can become healthy. know, a couple that I'm still very close with. You know, I remember they came to me, they must have just been married, because they had a daughter who was about one. Now they have three kids, they're of course 30 something, adults, and out running around the world, and doing wonderful things. But this couple...

You know, they went through the work. They really healed. They really connected and created a very conscious, caring, loving relationship. And that relationship was based on their being on a journey together and helping each other continue to heal and grow. Those kids, and a couple of them had some serious challenges, know, neurological challenge with one and emotional issues with another, but those kids just blossomed in life.

Ron Stotts (34:55.359)

because they didn't have all that crap that their parents had. And I'm still, I just watched them with absolute joy with the impact they're having in the world and the lives they have. And I'm sure, you know, they're about to, least a couple of them are at the point where they're going to have kids. And that, you know, those kids are gonna be just coming from that fertile loving soil. And so, yeah, it's just wonderful to watch.

Yeah, fall in love with yourself and don't pass along all your crap to the kids and you'll be better off.

Aderonke (35:29.421)

Hmph.

Fall in love with yourself. I like that. Thank you.

and

Aderonke (35:41.325)

How might sharing your experiences of success and growth create a positive ripple effect in your family, community, the world?

Ron Stotts (35:52.787)

Well, I'll tell you a little secret, in your own family it's always questionable. It really is. I mean, certainly in your own family, in terms of your own kids and that sort of thing, then there's a serious impact going on there. But in terms of sisters, brothers, others, I'm not sure we can have that impact.

It's like Christ, he could talk to others but don't take him home to talk to his family. But you have a huge impact. We are at a frequency, we are at an energy level and the higher that frequency, the higher that energy, the more conscious we are.

the more we connect with ourself and others. And that connection allows us to be open and vulnerable and create a trusting environment that allows everyone to be nourished and discover themselves. That's why I do the work that I do is to create leaders who can create those environments where everybody feels like they're a valued member of something important. And they do, they wanna give their all and they...

They're being supported in bringing out their own leadership skills. They're being supported in creating teams that are cooperative and collaborative rather than fear and competition and mismanagement concepts that I see going on way too often. the truth is, you create a team, it's all moving in the same direction. You're going to have more productivity and profits.

You know, was walking in the park the other day with my wife and there was Canadian geese flying over and they were in that big triangle. She shared with me that she had read something recently that the geese can go 70 % further each day because they're in that form as opposed to a goose that's just flying on their own. That unity, that lift that they're offering each other is...

Aderonke (37:51.234)

Mm-hmm.

Ron Stotts (38:10.655)

is what we're capable of in our lives, in our families, in our work, in the world. And if we would just start coming from a place of self-exceptions and love rather than fear and competition, we'd find that everybody wins. And we'd all, certainly individually, be doing much, better.

Aderonke (38:29.186)

Hmm.

Aderonke (38:34.294)

Yeah, and I do agree with that.

Aderonke (38:40.962)

When you look forward, what exciting opportunities do you see on the horizon? And how do these opportunities align with your passions and aspirations?

Ron Stotts (38:54.025)

Well, I think the coaching is really, that's kind of, I'm on the edge of launching that. And I think that's very exciting to know that, I mean, these incredible tools that I've developed over 50 years to be able to pass those along to coaches and know that they're reaching others. And the coaches would go through their own healing process and...

as they graduate, they would know how to use those tools because they've been using them in their own healing. And then they begin to use them with others. And that's part of their healing process also. So I'm incredibly excited about that coaching program and knowing that quite literally thousands of people are going to have this material and these abilities to affect the world in a supportive and caring way.

You know, it's kind of snuck up on me when this person asked me, you know, if I would be willing or able to do that. it's time. It really is. You know, I'm of an age where I'm doing fine. I don't need to, you know, worry about anything other than just getting everything out there and giving it away, quite literally. And, you know, because just to know that...

Aderonke (40:12.205)

Mmm.

Ron Stotts (40:18.207)

I mean, coaching, becoming a coach is one process, but coaching is also part of your own healing. I mean, you know, working with individuals, I mean, I've heard everything. I've worked with people who have gone through things that we can't even imagine, that I can't even talk about, you know, on air. you know, so you've chosen a life of continued ongoing growth rather than the life where you're trying to hover in a...

in some limitation that you're not even comfortable with. So that's exciting to me. And that feels like that'll be part of my legacy. That'll be what life is about. But I mean, I had centers in Europe, and I know I had huge centers over there. And those are still going.

know, some students became MDs, some PhDs, some yoga teachers, you know, and it's all going on over there. We had a facility that's still going and they're reaching hundreds of thousands of people all the time in Switzerland.

Aderonke (41:33.502)

And just as a reminder, your website is ronstuts.com if anybody wants to find out more about the work that you're doing. so Ron, we're winding down a conversation and I have two more questions. Well, potentially two more questions. I may have one or two others, but two more official questions. And what book recommendation do you have? It could be a book.

Ron Stotts (41:54.015)

Okay.

Aderonke (42:02.658)

that you read recently or something that has stayed with you over the years. And I will say this, my guests have given me one, two, seven book recommendations and some are still sending them to me. So let me know what book recommendations you have.

Ron Stotts (42:17.533)

I'll do it.

Ron Stotts (42:21.234)

Well, an exciting one for me is Daniel Goldman wrote a book back in 95, 96 about emotional intelligence. And that, you know, it really gave people something to think about. But what's exciting is he just wrote a book, I think it was about a year ago now, called Optimal. And basically what he did was

And he goes, well, how is this emotional intelligence thing affecting the world? And so he really began doing research on all the research that had been done around emotional intelligence. And it's just a phenomenal amount of research that's been done showing the huge effect that it has in organizations and families and throughout the world and society on every level. And so what's exciting to me is

And if anybody is in coaching or in development or if they're in an organization that they want to see shift from that top down to more cooperative leadership, Optimal gives you all the examples of 25 years of research that shows the incredible significance that emotional intelligence, self-awareness, emotional intelligence has in the workplace, in life. And that, you know...

I mean, if somebody's in business, they want to make money. That's okay. But what they need to understand is self-awareness and emotional intelligence leads to increasing profits and productivity. I always am a little embarrassed I say by 50 % because that's what research shows. But I've seen my clients doing 90, 100%. Now, the value of their organizations will shift by 100%. I mean, it's just...

huge income shifts that go on. And again, it just makes sense because all of a sudden they're not trying to do it themselves. They've created an organization that's all in alignment, trying, you know, focused on doing it in the same way and everybody's excited about it. So you're going to be more successful. You know, I was a U.S. rowing champion and an eight man, you know, there eight guys and they're coxswain. You know, we were freshmen and we were

Ron Stotts (44:39.967)

They called us the giant killers because we just beat everybody, varsities and everybody else. The only way we could do that was to be all rowing, to be in unison, to be one. I mean, fortunately we had a good coach that brought out the best in all of us. We're just a of young jocks.

But he really did, and with a great deal of kindness and support, he brought out the best in all of us so that we could really, as a team, experience the heights of success that allows us to envision our life completely differently than we might have otherwise. And I'd love to see everybody doing that for each other, for themselves.

Aderonke (45:29.934)

So the book is by Daniel Goldman and it's called Optimal. Okay. And so Ron, is there anything else? Do you have any final thoughts?

Ron Stotts (45:45.509)

I just, I truly wish people would recognize that becoming more self-aware and falling in love with themselves is really what they want to do more than anything else. I've never had a person go through this work who hasn't said, my God, why did I wait so long? And they might be 30 years old, they might be 60 years old, but it's never too late to fall in love with yourself. It's never too late.

to fully embrace your capabilities and recognize your highest intention and fulfill those. know, mean, you know, retiring just is overrated. I mean, it really is. know, men, most men, and this is just research, you know, they die within two years after retiring because they're not doing anything with their life. There's no meaning, there's no purpose, there's no direction. And they just, that's it.

And once you have a sense of purpose, then yeah, you can slow your life down. I go boating, I go golfing, go with my wife and I are very loving and we go for walks and all those things. But I also have these things that are more meaningful in my life. I really am thrilled to have the opportunity to work with others and support and guide others. And yeah, so yeah.

Just open up your heart, open up your mind, discover who you are.

Aderonke (47:31.502)

So Ron, thank you. Thank you for your time today and the appreciation nuggets that I'm taking away from our conversation. And actually, it's the last one of them is what you just said. It's never too late to open your heart, open your mind, discover who you are and fall in love with yourself.

And then the third one is everyone wants love. Everyone wants love.

Ron Stotts (48:06.333)

Yeah, and if I can help anybody find that love and go on that journey, I'd love to help them because I can be a guide on that journey with others is really wonderful.

Aderonke (48:21.208)

So thank you so much. I appreciate you sharing your time, your wisdom, and I've learned a lot. And I'm gonna examine my vulnerability a little bit more and see where that gets me. I appreciate you taking the time to join me on Heart of the Matter, a podcast dedicated to asking overwhelmingly positive questions as we uncover incredible stories of people you may know.

Ryan, thank you for being here.

Ron Stotts (48:53.993)

Thank you for having me as a guest. I hope people enjoy it.