S2 Ep33. Cultivating Your Internal Radar: Embodied Knowing with Libbey Paul

In this heartfelt episode of the ABWilson's Heart of the Matter podcast, host Aderonke Bademosi Wilson warmly welcomes Libbey Paul as a special guest. Together, they explore a unique three-method process designed to help you tune into your intuition and body-centered ways of knowing.

Libbey shares practical and inviting tools to cultivate your internal radar. You’ll discover how to engage with different spots or perspectives in a room, each offering its own voice and insight around a situation. This gentle process helps unlock deeper and often overlooked ways of understanding, inviting bursts of creativity and meaningful insight rooted in a rich, symbolic and embodied experience.

Join Aderonke and Libbey in this inspiring conversation as they guide you toward developing your intuitive skills and engaging more fully with the needs of your environment. Whether you are curious about intuition or ready to deepen your connection to authentic action and transformation in life and work, this episode will open new pathways of knowing and alignment.

Come along and discover how to listen more deeply to what truly wants to unfold.

Want to explore working with Libbey? Enjoy a free 30-minute one-on-one info session. 

Book an appointment here: https://MossHillPathways.as.me/Connect

https://www.abwilsonconsulting.com

https://abwilsonphotography.com

Transcript

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (00:13.004)
Welcome to another edition of ABWilson's Heart of the Matter, a podcast that uses overwhelmingly positive questions to learn about our guests, where every episode uncovers extraordinary stories of triumph, growth, and empowerment. Hi, I'm Aderonke Bademosi Wilson. My guest on today's show is Libbey Paul. Libbey is a coach, volunteer, parent. Libbey, welcome to the show.

Libbey Paul (00:44.651)
Thank you, Aderonke, for having me on. So happy to be here with you.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (00:50.126)
And so Libbey, you described yourself as a coach. Tell me about that. What do you coach?

Libbey Paul (00:57.338)
I coach in a mode called transformational presence. And that is a method that was created by a person named Alan Seale here in the United States. And it’s really an opportunity for people to tap into their greater ways of knowing. Instead of just being purely head-focused, a lot of Alan’s tools help people drop into sensing what wants to happen in the larger situation and then what their role is in it.
So that actions kind of drop out of that. So that three-method process is really much more about sensing what wants to happen and helping people to really tap into their own intuitive tools to do that, to build their radar.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (01:46.678)
You said a term that I’m not familiar with, the greater ways of knowing. What is that?

Libbey Paul (01:53.39)
So if you think about a lot of times within our entire educational system, we are trained to use our intellect and a lot of what transformational presence does is help us tap into our hearts, our heart intelligence, and our belly intelligence. So our knowing and our emotions in our belly. And so by tapping into the broader intelligence system that we have, we can make decisions more intuitively and tap into this greater sense of what wants to happen in a situation. So it’s almost like cultivating your radar. So we’ll do tools like there are three spots in the room that have something to say about the situation. So go stand in the first spot that you're drawn to. And in that place, there's a new spot. There might be some things in that spot. And it’s like our ways of knowing that we have kind of tamped down is not logical, not logical, get opened up and it’s like, there’s a picture, there’s a blue picture here and that’s symbolic in this way. And it really helps people to kind of burst open their ways of knowing what needs to happen. And so it’s a very intuitive and very, yeah, a very body-centered way of knowing.

So it’s a really interesting foundational way of approaching coaching. One, it assumes that people are fundamentally whole and that they have the ability to access knowledge in ways that they may not have realized or trusted in the past. They’ve been told that it has to be linear and has to be logical.
 And that’s missing so much of the information that’s available to us.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (03:51.95)
And one more question about that before we move on. Belly intelligence. What do we get from belly intelligence?

Libbey Paul (04:00.75)
We get, it’s that thing you feel in your body. Like you’re about to make this decision and your head says it’s the right decision, but when you check in with your belly, there’s this feeling you have. It might be of dread. It might be of tight, anxious feeling.

And when we start to tap into that and actually have a dialogue with it, “Okay, belly, what do you want to say here?” And you allow that part of your body and part of yourself to really speak. It might be saying, “Ooh, I really don’t have a good feeling about that person.” Or it really starts to have a conversation. And then you can start to dialogue between the three intelligences. Like, in order to do this next step, I really need more reassurance. I need more research, need more whatever to satisfy that part of my intelligence that’s not—it’s needs are not being met because I’m like, “No, it’s logical. It makes sense. And my head says it’s a good idea.” Shut up, belly, which is often how we approach things where we have this little niggling feeling, but this part’s really strong. And when we can say, “Okay, mind, we’re going to take a second and just listen to belly, just be with belly, and belly is going to be able to say whatever it wants.” And it gets to speak in a way that is really specific and in the moment, in the way that when we’re kind of all blended and this part has been trained to be so strong, it tends to, and you probably have had this feeling of like shutting down this other way of knowing because you can’t, this part can’t process it. So if we don’t ask it to, we instead go straight to the belly, let it speak.

And then come to the heart and let it speak. And it will have a broader, the heart will have the broadest kind of perspective on things. And it tends to be very future-oriented. And if you think about the belly is very in the present moment, like how am I feeling now about that decision?
 The heart kind of has the most forward-looking and most broad perspective. And the head often is using past information.

Libbey Paul (06:14.072)
To make the decision in this moment. And so it’s limited by what it has experienced in the past. And it’s often using fear as it goes to the fore. Like, “I don’t want bad things to happen.” And so it’s often dictated by that. So when we can tap into all three intelligences, we start to get this greater alignment. And so you may have had a situation in the past where you’re really convinced on this action and you take this action or you’re gonna, “I’m gonna do this thing,” and then you find yourself dragging your feet. Like, “Why am I not—why am I not doing the thing that I said I would do? Why am I delaying? Why am I?” and you realize it’s because you weren’t listening to all of yourself and your head made this decision overriding other parts of your knowing. And so when you get pure alignment between the three intelligences, boom

You can move forward in a way that’s really compelling and joyful and without those kind of self-sabotaging things that often happen to us.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (07:23.0)
Sounds fascinating, really fascinating. And so I’ve learned so much just listening to this conversation. You’ve said that you’re a parent. Tell me about being a parent.

Libbey Paul (07:35.402)
You know, it’s been the greatest joy of my life. And I have a 25-year-old and a 22-year-old daughter, soon to be 23, though she tells me I’m not allowed to round up. And they are just magnificent human beings. In the past five years particularly, I’ve had the opportunity to really grow as they’re—as one of them had mental health challenges and the other is moving into the world by studying in Sweden and then China for a semester. They’ve been becoming young adults has been such an opportunity for me to grow significantly and them dealing with the world as it is. And I would say the last five years have been five years of explosive growth as they become adults. And I navigate parenting adults and helping them navigate an increasingly challenging world. So back in my corporate days, we did geo-targeting and segmentation. And so we had a group called Young Transitionals. And these are people between the ages of 18 and 34. And they’re like, their lives are changing. They’re getting married. They’re having children. They’re moving. They’re changing jobs.

I feel like an old transitional. This era of us launching our children and being able to really decide what it is that moves us, moves myself forward. I’ve been in this old transitional and like, who says that 50 is old? It is not. It’s kind of like just the beginning of a really exciting journey.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (09:30.752)
...And it sounds like during the last five years, which you described as explosive growth, you’ve done a lot of growing and changing as well. Would you say that’s true?

Libbey Paul (09:44.344)
Yeah, yeah, I would call it my third act. If my first act was working in corporate for 17 years and my second act was being a parent, community volunteer, working with small businesses. This third act was becoming a coach, getting certified in facilitation and now being certified in another tool called RIM, which we can talk about separately. But these new tools that I’m learning and this kind of bringing together all that I’ve done to date has been this really high period of growth. I feel like I went and got a master’s only I got to cherry-pick exactly what I wanted to learn. Yeah, so it’s been great.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (10:31.31)
Thank you, Libbey. And you just mentioned volunteer, and that’s one of the words that you use to describe yourself. What does volunteering look like for you?

Libbey Paul (10:41.518)
You know, it’s different at every phase of my life, but when my kids were in the schools, I was big into the PTO and something called the PTO Council, which was the leaders at each of the schools across several schools and loved, you know, identifying best practices, launching after-school programs for kids, doing a lot to help build the community as with the schools at the center.

And then when my kids kind of moved past that age and got into high school and didn’t want me anywhere near their school, then I shifted and started volunteering for something called the Education Foundation, which does programming for the schools. And then eventually became employed by them to basically deliver after-school or in-school enrichment and summer programs as well. And then...

Most recently, I’ve been involved with an organization called Race Conscious Dialogues, where I help co-facilitate sessions, which are the ones I co-facilitate are for folks who identify as white to start to really reckon with race in the US. It’s a topic that is taboo and that fear around it has had us stuck for millennia.

And so we basically have an on-ramp to conversations about anti-racism and white people showing up with greater awareness and ability to advocate for racial equity.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (12:21.496)
Sounds really intriguing and very interesting. And I hope that we get to visit that a little later on during our conversation. Libbey, thank you. Thank you for sharing. Can you state three interesting things about yourself that our listeners may not know and friends will be surprised to learn?

Libbey Paul (12:46.006)
Well, the first one was for 18 months, I flew nearly 100,000 miles around the world on United Airlines for practically nothing. And it was all a mistake. Yeah, that’s the first one.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (13:00.762)
Okay, I’m not even gonna let you go on any further. How did that happen? Tell me.

Libbey Paul (13:07.29)
Okay, so my dad was—I was the kind of executive for his estate. As he was in his later years, I helped him. He was a former airline pilot for United. And I was the person who logged onto his system and helped him get travel plans and help my mom do all that. And when he passed away, I was on the system logged in and there’s this—they had just merged; United and Continental had just merged. And so the whole system was different. So I’m logging in and I’m looking around because I’m trying to get my mom trip passes and it also says, “And you can also do an enrolled friend.” I’m like, I wonder what an enrolled friend is. So I put my name in and sure enough, I could travel like my mom, like his spouse is around, you know, using trip passes and space available. So I started traveling like crazy. I went to Tokyo and England twice, Australia twice, and Germany around the United States for 18 months, I traveled like crazy. Every time I come back, my husband would go, “Where are you going next?” And so I had these amazing adventures. Everywhere I was going was visiting friends or staying with somebody who was traveling there. So it was really cheap once I got there. So it was just this amazing experience.

And we were coming up on the renewal of the year when you switched benefits. So I was like, I’m going to give this benefit to my niece because wouldn’t that be cool if she’s a young adult? And so I’m looking around the system and I can’t figure it out, and I can’t figure it out. And so I email them and say, explain what I want to do. And a week and a half goes by and I’m like really annoyed they haven’t gotten back to me. The email comes back and says, “We’re sorry ma’am, that was a benefit. You were not supposed to have it died with your father.” And I was like, my response was, “Are you sure?”

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (15:02.734)
Gonna back there.

Libbey Paul (15:04.89)
It was so sad. It was so great. Yes, so that’s my traveling around the world story. Yeah.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (15:06.638)

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (15:14.69)
That’s fabulous. That’s fabulous. Assistant Mera.

Libbey Paul (15:19.162)
Right? And so my second little known thing is that both my parents are Canadian, were Canadian, and I was a first generation college kid. So yeah. And then the third one was that when I was young, four or five, my mom had a near death experience. And it is a story that she would tell over and over as a child, and that it really shaped my entire worldview. The first being that we are so loved and looked after. And she had a decision in this experience of rising above her body, going down the tunnel, having a presence at her side, feeling this love and light, like love and light like you can’t believe. And she had a choice to stay or to go. And she chose to stay for her four kids. But that story of the love that is our kind of divine right was, you know, some people have to take that on faith. I had a story, I had a mom who was fundamentally transformed by this experience that it was so foundational for me that this idea that the universe is a loving universe is just a given for me. And it kind of goes beyond religion or spirituality in that way. It was just a known fact. So yeah, that’s really foundational to who I am.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (17:07.776)
As you were telling the story, I just got goosebumps just listening to it. And the fact that what you and your family is taking away is the love that surrounds you. And so thank you so much for that story.

Libbey Paul (17:26.382)
Yeah, yeah, and now I’ve done reading and see all the similarities between her story and other stories. It’s very consistent experience. Yeah, so that, you know, what I took off as like this is just who my mom is, you know, it was a really important story, an important one to share. Yeah.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (17:47.918)
Thank you. Libby, can you tell us about a recent accomplishment or success that you’re particularly proud of?

Libbey Paul (17:57.086)
I mentioned earlier, that I’m in the process of becoming certified in something called RIM, which stands for regenerating images and memory. And it was a modality that was created by a woman named Dr. Deb Sandella. And what I was finding as a coach is that I was seeing so many clients who were stuck in old patterns and they would leave a session with me and they’d be like, “Yeah, okay, I’ve got it.” And then they come back the next time and they’d be like—and they’re kind of torqued.... again, in reaction.

What RIM does is helps people to move past big hurts, past hurts, big and small, and help them to move forward. Because before their feet were kind of stuck in the cement of the past. So coaching only could take you so far when you really haven’t processed that. And so RIM has helped people to—it’s a very creative process that is centered in the body and helps to transform people by helping them to release negative emotions, thoughts, and feelings related to past incidences so that they can live their best life. And it’s a very powerful, quick method. And it turns out I got an experience with it with a fellow coach in my coaching community and I was experiencing some big emotions around something. And so she coached me using the RIM method or facilitated a RIM session. And I was like, “Wow, these are issues that have plagued me for so long. And I thought they were part of my personality.” And to have that experience of being liberated from those parts of your personality that you’re kind of like, “I just suck that way.” It’s like releasing that was like, wow. All of this energy it feels really good to be able to do that for other people and learning. This is one of the things in my learning path. Like it’s intense learning and the training process is intense. And it feels really good to be doing that at this age and to feel like what the skills I’m learning are direct and meaningful benefit to others.

Libbey Paul (20:19.384)
Including myself. I mean, as I’m going through this training, I’m getting, I’m receiving as many RIM sessions as I’m giving as I’m helping my fellow students to be practice clients. And so it’s just like an ex part of the experience of explosive growth that I’m having this year.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (20:38.026)
Again, you’ve said explosive growth. I’m loving that term, explosive growth.

Libbey Paul (20:47.459)
Yeah.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (20:51.36)
Libby, tell me about a time when you made a difference in another’s life. What were the circumstances? Paint a picture for me, please.

Libbey Paul (20:59.642)
Well, there’s a client that particularly stands out for me in my RIM certification process. I’ve been working with different people in my community and then also clients elsewhere. And this one stands out because she was referred to me by another client and she had a lot of childhood trauma that was abusive father, disbelieving mother. And despite years of work, it continued to haunt her. She was in her fifties.

And it was really showing up in her work that she had this consistent pattern of being the first one to get laid off. She felt unseen, underappreciated, and had sort of this low self-esteem, anger and victimization, this whole package. And she was just tired of it. She had tried so many different modalities. So she came to me on the referral of her friend and we had two sessions, just two.

And she experienced such a dramatic shift in her tense relationship first with her sister, which was an ancillary relationship that was trash because of her father’s preference for her. And so she really started to shift that relationship. And then I actually have the email that she sent to me. She said, “My sister and I finally talked through all the things we’ve been feeling. We both felt heard, loved and healed.

I am amazed, relieved, and overjoyed that this has been my experience. Thank you so much for guiding me. I don’t have adequate words to express my gratitude.”

And this ability to start to shift things on a really deep and meaningful level has been so great. And she’s just one example of the kind of people I’ve had a chance to work...

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (22:32.942)
You.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (22:52.182)
If somebody wanted to get in contact with you to go through sessions, RIM sessions with you, how could they do that?

Libbey Paul (23:01.53)
They can email me at LibbeyPaul@comcast.net. So maybe we can put that in the notes. And since I’m in my certification year, there’s a discount as well. So I’m learning. Yeah.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (23:11.502)
Thank you.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (23:18.666)
Okay. All right. That’s good to know. That’s good to know. Thank you. What were the key strengths and qualities you relied on to make a difference in this lady’s life?

Libbey Paul (23:33.048)
Well, as part of my coaching journey, I took a class called Soul Mission with the Transformational Presence offers. And in Soul Mission, you’re kind of guided to come to an understanding of what your unique contribution is to the world. And mine is something called grounded presence. Is grounded presence what I have identified as what I bring uniquely to the world.

And so it’s this combination of being really earthbound and like here, like very physical and very, and then having this presence of spaciousness and acceptance. And so I bring that kind of strength of my soul mission of grounded presence to working with clients. You know, it

When the way I describe transformational presence, you can think it’s really airy-fairy and out there and what kind of little woo-woo. But my my approach to it is it’s really about bringing that kind of intuitive knowing into a grounded and experiential way of being in the world. And so that, that mode of doing, that mode of approaching my coaching and my facilitation of with grounded presence, I think is the biggest strength that I offer. Because in it as well is because I am grounded in myself, there’s no, I don’t need to, it’s not about my ego and pleasing me because I have some gaping wound that I need to have filled. It’s about me being here and holding the potential of the greatest potential for this person in a very concrete and energetically stable way. So that combination of groundedness and expansive presence.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (25:41.046)
Listening to you and hearing about what I’m thinking of you using the various modalities that you have acquired expertise in and knowledge about. And it sounds like you’re doing your life’s mission. It sounds like you are doing the work that you were put here to do.

Libbey Paul (26:09.912)
I think that’s so astute. When I first took the first coaching class for transformational presence, I felt like I had come home and learned concrete tools to create those magic moments that would have happened in the past, but you didn’t know how to replicate it. So I finally got some tools to create that consistently. And then with RIM, when I started, I couldn’t have done the RIM work without that preparation.

The transformational presence. And then when I started to do the RIM work I’m like this is my life’s work, this the healing that I have received I am all in to help others receive as well. And so yeah, it’s definitely my life’s work.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (26:58.99)
Thank you for sharing that with us.

Libbey Paul (27:00.761)
Hmm.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (27:04.472)
Can you recall a situation where you overcame a challenge that led to personal growth? What did you learn from that experience?

Libbey Paul (27:14.522)
Yeah, you know, I mentioned the last five years have been significant growth. So five years ago in 2020, I had a beloved family member have a mental health crisis that rocked my world. And it’s her story to tell, but it rocked my world. And at the same time, COVID was shutting down the U.S. And when within the next year, my mom passed away suddenly. So within about a 12-month period, I having the love of who is hurting and the world is in chaos and you lose your mom, things can get shaken up a lot. And so this, it’s like I mentioned, it’s that transitional period that I say this is my old transitional period, just like the young transitionals. And so what I learned in this is that change is not only possible at any age, it is necessary in order for us to live a fulfilled and dynamic life, we have to be willing to change at any age. And I also learned that it’s a big fat lie that women who are 50 plus are done. That is bullshit. Sorry. And I feel like I’m just hitting my stride. And I see that with a lot of other women as well. There’s a certain liberation that comes with menopause, with being done on the immediate parenting and there’s just a lot of potential that we have to give to the world and we can serve in great ways.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (28:57.198)
You’ve touched on menopause. And for the first time in my life, I’m seeing far more information about menopause than at, I would say, and I stand to be corrected, than at any other time in history. Women are discovering their bodies. We’re talking about it. We’re comparing notes. We’re going out and finding information, and the information’s there.

Libbey Paul (29:16.974)
Yeah, I think you’re right.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (29:26.894)
How is that impacting you? How is that changing your perspective? How has menopause changed your perspective?

Libbey Paul (29:37.626)
I think it’s, there’s a certain no longer caring what people think about me, which sounds like really self-centered but, you know, there was this constant voice that said, “How do I look? How are they seeing me?” You know, that constant chatter.

And some of that has been resolved through a lot of healing work. But I think menopause is a big part of that, that I just really don’t care if I’m attractive to men, especially men that I don’t know. Like, wow, I used to really care about that. And I don’t. I care about what people see in me and how I show up in the world. And I realized that what is inside, and my mom used to say this, “What’s inside that counts? And beauty is as beauty does.” And I remember rolling my eyes at her and now being like, she was so right. And so it’s really beautiful to know that even as a wrinkle shows up, I am continuing to be a better human being. And that’s awesome. You know, instead of railing at the gods, trying every possible medication, whatever, I’m happy that I can, I have control over the person I am and how I show up.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (31:26.146)
Libbey, thank you. Thank you for sharing that perspective. I think a lot of women will hear that and it will resonate with them because there are so many of my friends and I going through menopause and we talk about it. And that revelation has come to many that it doesn’t matter how the world sees me. It’s about caring what about myself and how I want to be in this world as opposed to, as you’ve said, people that you don’t even know and will probably never know what they think about you.

Libbey Paul (32:05.018)
Bye. Right? And we may not even respect them. And I cared. Like, what? I cared.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (32:20.204)
You are listening to ABWilson’s Heart of the Matter podcast.

Welcome back to ABWilson’s Heart of the Matter. My guest today is Libbey Paul. Libbey, we have talked about your free mileage, your free flights. We’ve talked about your development and your skill gained as a coach. We’ve talked about how menopause is impacting you today.

Libbey Paul (32:37.347)
You.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (32:54.446)
And how you are showing up in the world. What self-care practices or strategies help you to sustain your energy and motivation while navigating your journey?

Libbey Paul (33:07.002)
You know, I worked with a grief counselor when my mom passed away. His name is Dr. Jack Miller. And he describes self-care as a rhythmic structure. And these are the things that we do consistently with a rhythm or cadence to help us show up as our best selves. And he prescribes good sleep, regular exercise, a daily contemplative practice, and abstaining from excessive drugs or alcohol. And to that I would add connection to community and to creativity. So how my rhythmic structure has evolved is I have a very, I’m a little ADHD, so I have to have structure around my exercise. So every Saturday morning and sometimes Sunday morning, I do my spin for my heart. And every Friday I do weight training for my bones. And every Tuesday without fail, I do yoga mostly for flexibility, but mostly for my mind. And then in between there, I do walking with a friend. So I’m just really kind of inflexible about when those things happen. And Dr. Jack talks about that allows your psyche to have to know the times when it can really sweat and really have that outlet for some of those maybe big emotions or that stress. And so he really emphasizes the rhythmic nature of that and that consistency. And I found that to be true for myself. And then for the creativity, my work is very creative. Every client I work with is completely different. And because they are in charge of the process for the RIM, I’m following wherever they go, wherever their imaginations take them. And it’s fantastic. It’s like reading a different book every day. And then I participate in a games group with my husband and a book club with my husband and a book club for myself. And then I’m in multiple learning circles with you. That’s how I met you. And like most of us, I’m trying to limit my daily consumption of toxic media.

Libbey Paul (35:23.726)
That has been a relatively new one to be really intentional about, but I found that to be important as well.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (35:34.988)
I just want to go back to several things that you mentioned. Okay, I love the rhythmic component. I’m not familiar with that, but it makes sense. It makes sense to me from a person who’s a planner who likes a plan. And that sounds like it falls neatly into somebody who is organized, but maybe somebody who isn’t as well.

Libbey Paul (35:51.194)
Mm-hmm.

Libbey Paul (36:00.792)
Yeah, you know, that’s the thing that’s a little surprising about it because I was one who really was like, “I should work out, but today I don’t really feel like it.” And that sort of little bit ADHD. And I remember hearing a few years ago on a podcast where he talked about like the strategic structure, how you structure in your values. And so for me, one way of doing that was I now work in quotes at the yoga studio. So for four hours of yoga or volunteering at the yoga studio, I get free yoga the rest of the time. But that means I have to be there every Tuesday because I’m there to check people in and clean up after and all that stuff and get to do yoga at the same time. But because I’ve structured it, because for me, needed a class to do spin class. Can’t, like if I have to motivate myself, not going to happen. So I had to structure it in a way that would work with my not very good at being motivated in the moment personality. And so that structure was super important to me as somebody who’s not a planner. But I had to do it in ways that worked for me.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (37:18.612)
And you mentioned a games group. What is that? What do you do there?

Libbey Paul (37:22.938)
Well, it’s a bunch of us who are of an age and we play card games or we’ll play board games and we’re always bringing in new different games and usually we’re eating and drinking and talking but it’s an opportunity to play again in kind of a structured way where we consistently, you know, once a month, once every six weeks. In fact, I’m going with the games group, we’re going camping with our games group and it’s just, it’s about eight of us. And yeah, it’s been a really delightful way of bringing fun back to some of the interactions. You know, a lot of times at this age, we go out to eat, maybe we drink more than we should, all of those kinds of things. And this is a way of seeing people more fully. You see, are they competitive? Are they really creative? Yeah, we get to show up and laugh and be a little silly. Yeah, it’s really delightful, it’s a delightful thing.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (38:27.234)
Are you competitive?

Libbey Paul (38:29.73)
It depends on the game. Some games I’m super competitive, like word games. I’m really competitive and then like the long strategy, like Catan, I’m like, I’m so bored. Like, is it done yet? So yeah, it depends.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (38:49.326)
I love games. I love games. And I’ll just mention quietly, I might be competitive. I might be super competitive, but we won’t talk about that right now.

Libbey Paul (39:02.266)
Well, the only reason that Catan and those kind of games bore me is because I’m not very good at them. And so I’m like, fine.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (39:09.358)
And you mentioned book clubs and we’re going to talk about books in a little while. What kind of book clubs? And you mentioned that you’re into.

Libbey Paul (39:18.776)
Yeah, I’m in a Couples Book Club is probably the one that’s more formal. And it’s where we alternate fiction, nonfiction. And because it’s men and women, then the range of books is broader. So we just finished one called Night Watch. That’s a novel about the Civil War.
And so we’re actually going to break our rule and do our next book is fiction as well for another book that somebody recommended about the Civil War as well. Yeah, so we’ll often do history and other kinds of nonfiction. So that’s unique in that way. Usually in the book clubs I’m in, it’s mostly fiction.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (40:01.23)
And then the one you’re in for yourself.

Libbey Paul (40:04.494)
So that one is, well, I have two semi-failed book clubs in that they just became friend groups. And so my original book club, we travel together and we go out to theater together and we talk about books, but we’re now less focused on must read this book. Instead, usually we’re coming with books and sharing them and talking about the world and politics and theater and travel. And the other one is also a failed book group. It’s, we not, call that my mom squad because we all raised our kids together. And so we can talk, we all know each other’s kids, even though they’re young adults. And so that mom squad is kind of my group to go, “Oh, this is what’s happening with my kid.” And they know them, they love my kid. And so they’re also one part former book club and one part therapy group.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (41:07.606)
Libbey, thank you. How might sharing your experiences of success and growth create a positive ripple effect in your family, community, the world?

Libbey Paul (41:19.224)
Hmm. Well, I think it’s the watch what I do, not what I say. When my daughters see me learning at every age and passionate about offering my gifts to others, I think that has a really big impact on how they are allowed to show up. And I think every person who lives on their purpose is making it easier for the next person to do the same because they’re seeing them be brave and be vulnerable and take risks and not be good at things and grow into them. And I think for all of us to have the courage to show up fully as ourselves, even in our vulnerability, allows other people to do the same. And so that’s what I hope to give my community and in my world. And I’m particularly jazzed in my work to do what I call serve the servers. So those people who feel like they have a mission to bring something to the world, I am particularly jazzed about supporting them in doing that, increasing their capacity. I really like to serve those people who are trying to serve humanity in some form, whether it’s teaching or therapists or coaches or nonprofit leaders or activists. And it’s my goal to help them operate in their sphere of expertise with greater joy and ease.

And I had a vision a few years back of a city. And in this city, all these buildings were lit up in different ways. So there were various lights. So it was mostly dark, but there were lights in all the buildings. And I realized while I was not in the buildings, I wasn’t even in the city.
 I was attached to each one of those lights in some way. And those people who were doing their work, being a light in the building, I was supporting their light. And I wasn’t doing their work, but I was supporting that light. And so that vision has stayed with me about what am I here to do? And I’m here to help increase their capacity to serve and have more people impacted as a result.

Libbey Paul (43:35.416)
It is not my work to do their work. It is my work to support their work expanding in the world in whatever form that is. So that’s what I see.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (43:46.798)
That’s beautiful vision.