S3 Ep10. Humanity in Practice: Conversations on Belonging, Courage, and Deep Care with Veronica Olalla Love

In this richly layered and deeply moving episode of ABWilson's Heart of the Matter, host Aderonke Bademosi Wilson sits down with Veronica Olalla Love, CEO of Newfield Network, artist, poet and lifelong seeker of meaning. Together they explore what it truly means to be human in today's world, diving into the practices, philosophies and personal stories that shape Veronica's extraordinary life and work. 

From the meaning of attunement and the science of limbic resonance, to a family history forged in the fires of South American political upheaval, to her teenage daughter's breathtaking act of generosity, this episode is a tender and illuminating conversation that leaves you feeling more connected and more hopeful about what we are capable of as human beings.

Veronica opens the conversation by unpacking what it means to be meaning centered, multifaceted and attuned, the three descriptors she uses to introduce herself to the world. Being meaning centered, she explains, is about living in close contact with one's deepest care, allowing that inner compass to guide every interaction and decision. 

Being multifaceted is an embrace of life's full emotional and creative range, from dancing and piano to painting and poetry. And being attuned is a practice of presence, a conscious choice to show up with awareness and care for the people and world around us. She introduces the concept of limbic resonance, the science behind how our breathing patterns and emotional states quite literally affect the biology of those near us, whether we know them or not.

One of the episode's most profound threads is Veronica's invitation to ask what it really means to human better. She shares how Newfield Network, which her father Julio Olalla founded 35 years ago after fleeing political violence first in Chile and then in Argentina, was born from a bone-deep knowing of what happens when human beings stop listening to and caring for one another. 

Veronica's mother's act of covering her two young daughters with her own body during a coup in Buenos Aires is a story of love so fierce it became the seed of a lifetime's work. Newfield now brings together cohorts of ten or more nationalities at a time to do the deeply human work of learning how to show up fully, listen generously and grow together.

Veronica shares a beautiful story of a coaching client who had achieved every external marker of success yet was hollow and lonely on the inside. Through their work together, he reconnected with his own wholeness, pivoted his career toward meaningful work and began showing up in his relationships in an entirely new way. 

This story leads into a rich conversation about the epidemic of loneliness, the power of authentic community and the radical potential of being truly witnessed by another person. Veronica speaks with warmth and clarity about how Newfield creates the kinds of spaces where transformation like this becomes possible and how the ripple effects of that inner work spread into families, communities and organizations.

https://www.abwilsonconsulting.com

https://abwilsonphotography.com

Transcript

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (00:01) Welcome to another edition of ABWilson's Heart of the Matter, a podcast that uses overwhelmingly positive questions to learn about our guests, where every episode uncovers extraordinary stories of triumph, growth, and empowerment. Hi, I'm Aderonke Bademosi Wilson. My guest on today's show is Veronica Olalla Love. She is meaning centered, multifaceted, and attuned. Veronica, welcome to the show.

Veronica Olalla Love (00:35) Thank you so much. Lovely to be here.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (00:37) And so, Veronica, let's just jump straight in. I want to understand a little bit more about your descriptors. Please tell me what meaning centered means.

Veronica Olalla Love (00:53) Yes. So Meaning Centered is really focused on this sense that I am really attuning to what matters most in life, what is at the core of my deepest care, and having that be the center point through which I inquire about the world, through which I navigate the world and move through the world. So that component is very important to me, to be in contact with that deep care.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (01:29) And so is that meaning centered more for you on the inside?

Veronica Olalla Love (01:36) Absolutely, yeah. It's allowing myself to really be in contact with the deepest place within my being and to really acknowledge the wisdom that resides there, the wholeness that lives there, and to do my utmost to move from that place.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (01:55) And so how do you tap into it? How do you go that deep inside of you to tap into it, to recognize that you're there and then allow what's inside to spring forward? I'm not even sure I'm asking the right question.

Veronica Olalla Love (02:13) There are so many practices. I feel that one can do this in so many ways. One of the practices that I do is meditation, to really get a sense of, you know, I believe that when we connect with the deepest part of who we are, it goes beyond the individual "I," and there's a sense of a connection with the oneness that exists in this universe. And so when we're anchored in that place of deep connectivity, then the reality that shows up is quite different than when we're contracted or really identified as the singular "I," this is me, skin in. But there are lots of practices. I feel that we can do that through meditation, through movement, through good conversation, all sorts of ways in which we can drop into that depth of who we are.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (03:15) Thank you. And you've also described yourself as multifaceted. Multifaceted how? Please tell me.

Veronica Olalla Love (03:23) Yeah, well I love so many things. I recognize that I have many, many passions in life, and that's part of all the facets. I think that life has so many facets within it and that we have the privilege and the honor to inquire and be in relationship to all those facets. So multifaceted in the sense that we have such an emotional range, we have so many somatic dispositions available to us, we have so many possibilities in terms of what we engage in, whether that's dancing or piano or whatever it is that we're doing in life. There are so many dimensions to it and I find that being open and awake to all of those dimensions integrates into such a powerful and nourishing way to show up in life.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (04:19) And attuned, tell me about that.

Veronica Olalla Love (04:22) Attuned. Yeah. Well, attuned for me is there's a way in which as humans we can practice being in our care, in our hearts, in that place. And when we are attuned with what's happening within our own inner landscape, we can really be present to someone else fully. And I think especially in today's world, learning how to be human is a practice, and how to engage with each other where we can attune to each other. There's this beautiful aspect called limbic resonance. When we're in relationship to someone else and our breathing pattern shows up in a certain way, it can impact how the other person is breathing. So we find that we are not just, as I mentioned before, skin in. Rather, we are really open to our context and where we are being in life. So if I show up and I'm really joyous and really excited and I go and say hi to you, that has an effect. It impacts your whole biology, your whole being. And so when we attune to each other, we're bringing an awareness and a consciousness to how we're showing up and how we're in relation to another human being or to a collective or whatever it is. So that's a little bit about attunement.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (05:56) Thank you. And I'm curious. When you say our breathing can potentially impact another and how we show up affects others, I do understand that and I appreciate that. But I'm curious about the breathing. That's one thing I didn't know about. Do you have to be close to the person for their breathing to be impacted, or is it just close proximity? How does that work?

Veronica Olalla Love (06:34) No, you don't have to know someone. We can just make it very ordinary. Like if we're living life and a stranger walks up to you, you can imagine if you're on a walk, let's say you're walking your dog or whatever ordinary thing you're doing, and a stranger comes up to you in a state of panic, and their breathing is shallow and rapid. We can notice in our own system that our belly clenches or suddenly our breathing becomes shallow. It has that way because we get a sense of the other person's experience. In contrast, if we're with a person who is very at ease in their body and they're breathing deeply and they're just right there, then suddenly your shoulders drop, your whole body can rest, and suddenly you can perhaps have an exploratory conversation of possibility because it just seems filled with ease. So absolutely, we have these intricate connections as human beings where our breathing pattern impacts our sensations inside, impacts what we say or don't say, all of this woven together in such a beautiful way. So when we attune to it, we can utilize it in some ways to support ourselves and others as we walk through life.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (07:58) Thank you, thank you. And I just want to go back. You said "learn to be human." That intrigues me because I walk through the world and assume we are already human. Help me with that. I really want to lean into that a little bit more. Let's talk about that, please.

Veronica Olalla Love (08:25) Sure. Well, I believe there are certain aspects that are particularly human, and those are something that I believe we need to relish and honor. The capacity that we have, a beating heart, this fact that we have a reflective capacity, that you just asked a question and you can take something that I've said and actually turn it back and ask something else. These capacities that humans have are so beautiful and I believe they take a lifetime to cultivate. So for us to really steep into what does it mean to be human, it's such an important question for us to ask. And how do we human better? At Newfield, we often say: how do we teach people how to human better? How do we cultivate ourselves as humans? How do we grow our own humanity? How do we really engage our capacity for true empathy and compassion? So when we look at being human, these capacities that we have, compassion, care, consciousness to be reflective, are so uniquely human. And it's beautiful when we inquire about them and when we steep in them and when we wonder about them and are in awe about them. I think they open up doors to living a really good life.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (10:14) I'd like our listeners to learn a little bit more about you. Please share three interesting things about yourself that our listeners may not know and your friends will be surprised to learn.

Veronica Olalla Love (10:27) Sure. Well, most likely the most surprising thing, because it just happened, is that about a year or two ago I started taking piano lessons and I just joined a community choir. A friend invited me and there are about 150 people or so in this choir and we're singing these really gorgeous songs that inspire. That has been quite a beautiful experience, to engage in creating harmonies with other humans and weaving our voices together. It's been very powerful. So that's one, in the realm of music and play.

The other piece is that I love to paint. I'm a visual artist and I paint, and probably a few folks will know that about me, but at the end of 2024 I actually won an award for my painting. I won the Artistic Achievement Award at the Louisville Art Association for a National Fine Art Show. So that was fun and exciting for me.

And then I think the third thing is that my father founded Newfield Network, and I'm the CEO now, but I'm also the one carrying the lineage of the ontological work, and that has been deeply meaningful for me in my life.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (11:41) Congratulations! So I just want to go back to your paintings before we come to Newfield Network. What kind of paintings do you paint? What's your specialty?

Veronica Olalla Love (12:15) Yeah, so I love range. I'm a fan of how do we really explore range in life and I do that in my art. So I love portraits. I paint primarily in oils, although I do mixed media. I do ink and charcoal and other mediums. So I love portraits because I love to, in some way, capture the internal experience. Like when we look at a human, rather than seeing them as an object out there, to me, when we really look deeply, we're able to almost hear the stories, the experiences, the whole trajectory that has unfolded in their life. So I love faces that open doors to stories, and for us as people to evoke that sense of compassion and care, like, my goodness, what has this person gone through in their life? And what can I learn from that?

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (13:21) Where can people find your work?

Veronica Olalla Love (13:23) I have a website, it's veronicalove.net.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (13:33) I'll put it on the website under your profile so that people can have a look at your work. Now, for portraits, do people commission you, or do you just see a beautiful face and decide to paint it?

Veronica Olalla Love (13:52) Yeah, I have had people ask me to commission and I've always declined. Mostly because for me, painting is something where I want to have the full freedom to paint and reveal what I want to reveal. And I honestly love to paint people who have no idea that I'm painting them. I feel that when you ask somebody, "May I take your picture?" they immediately get stiff and smile in a certain way and tuck in their stomach or turn to their better side. And so for me, it's about capturing the honesty of just being alive. So I take photographs and I often use those as source materials for my paintings, and then I do a lot of manipulation with my paintings. I'll change the colors and perhaps the background and do a lot to play with it so that it stands as a painting.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (14:52) And Newfield Network, please tell me about the organization.

Veronica Olalla Love (14:59) Yeah, so Newfield Network has been around for 35 years. We have worked with over 70,000 people across the globe. I've been the CEO for almost 15 years now and I'm also one of the primary facilitators for our coach training program. As I mentioned before, we really work on how to human better. Part of what we do is we have cohorts of people that come together. It's common for a cohort to have 10 different countries represented. So we have people from different countries and different backgrounds of education, of profession, and so there's this beautiful diversity.

Part of what happens at Newfield is that a space is created for people to begin to really show up as a full human, with their challenges and their struggles and their pains and also their wisdom and their expertise and their beauty. It's the full spectrum of "here I am as a human." I feel that those spaces are rare in today's world. So there's a coming together where certain conversations can unfold that aren't our usual conversations. Part of what we examine is the art of conversation. How do we learn how to be in a good dialogue? What are the components that can foster us to really grow and become in a way that we yearn for in life? And so it has been such an honor to witness. I've been co-leading cohorts through this process for maybe 20-ish years, and to see the shifts that occur from day one when people walk in, and then at the end of our program people report, "I never expected this level of transformation." Their relationships with their family members change, their relationships with their children, with their community. So there's this real shift into moving into gratitude and also claiming their own agency and power to be of service to the world, and I think that is just exquisite.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (17:43) So the people that come, are they training to be coaches or are they just people that want to change their relationships?

Veronica Olalla Love (17:54) Yeah, we have a variety of people that arrive in our programs, and I think that's part of what makes it so rich. We have people who are coming because they want personal transformation and change. They're going through a transition in life, so maybe it's a divorce or a career pivot or whatever it is. There are definitely folks that come for that and learn how to take the skills and competencies and apply them to their own life. In fact, the first half of the program is focused on that. We believe that in order to do work with others, you must do it with your own self first. So the first part of the program is really geared toward that. You have a coach that works with you, you have learning guides, you have a group. And then the second half is focused on the coaching skill sets and those competencies. So we do have people that are aspiring coaches who want to coach, whether that's a private coaching practice or executive coaching or working internally for an organization. And then we also have leaders who want to take this knowledge and methodology and really integrate it into their leadership capacities. We've had everything from doctors to lawyers to CEOs to all sorts of different leadership roles take the course.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (19:14) And how can people find out more about the organization?

Veronica Olalla Love (19:21) It's newfieldnetwork.com.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (19:32) Thank you. Veronica, can you tell us about a recent accomplishment or success that you're particularly proud of?

Veronica Olalla Love (19:42) Yes, I can. What's coming to mind is a personal story. So I was in my home, in my office, working away at my computer, and the door opens and in comes my 16-year-old daughter. Her name is Sophia. She saw that I was working, so she was kind of closing the door, backing up. And I said, "Are you okay?" I noticed something in her face. Her eyes seemed a little teary and she said, "I'm fine." I said, "Are you sure? Kind of looks like you're a little teary." And then she opened the door and I could feel there was so much moving through her in that moment. So I just put down my computer and sat with her and said, "What's happening?"

And she told me that she was at the grocery store near our home and she saw a family that didn't have a home and that was hungry. And she decided to take that family into the grocery store and proceeded to buy them food. She bought them staples and then she came in and she was just weeping because she was just aching with this pain that some people don't have food. She works, she teaches little kids Ninja Warrior, and so she spent her own money on this family.

And I was so riveted and moved by this action of goodness that she had done. As a mom, I felt so fulfilled that my child would, one, have the empathy to see a family in need and fully take action, using what she could do. I mean, of course we can talk about systemic and cultural influences that are impacting this, but given her age and where she was, she saw what she could do in that moment to help. And she did it. And I was just beaming. This is my child. My gosh, I don't know how much more fulfilled I could be. I was just radiant in that moment.

Yeah, that was a moment where I felt like I had accomplished so much in really having my daughter connect to what she cared about. I think that makes such a difference in this world. I feel so often acts of kindness go unrecognized. We don't really get to share them. All of the negative stuff gets the hype, and so this moment felt particularly poignant to me. Just so much generosity.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (22:51) Thank you for sharing that story. Please tell us about a time when you made a difference in another's life. What were the circumstances? Paint a picture for me.

Veronica Olalla Love (23:04) Yeah. Well, I'm remembering a particular person who I worked with through coaching. He came in with all the accolades and merits of being what we call the epitome of success, all of those things. And yet he was so lonely and so isolated and adrift and hollow in his own being. And so we worked together and through that process, he really had the opportunity to look inwards, to connect with his own wholeness and goodness, and ultimately decide to make a career pivot and do work that he was aligned with and that was important for him. And then he began to be in relationship with people in a completely new way. That turnaround was so exquisite and lovely, just to see a human in this moment of transition in life and anchor into living a life that they felt was meaningful and purposeful and filled with service and goodness.

That was really exquisite and I've been so honored to see this kind of thing happen over and over again with all the people that we have worked with in our programs, to see these really fundamental transitions in people's lives. They begin from the inside out, and what I think is so beautiful is that then it creates a ripple into their families and their communities and everyone they engage with.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (25:06) You mentioned the person was lonely. I'm really conscious of connection and belonging and I've written several blog posts about it. The former US Surgeon General has indicated that loneliness in the United States has become an epidemic. And so that's made me curious about how to bring people together. In your practice, I'm sure you see quite a number of people who are facing loneliness. How do you support them? What does that look like? And I'm asking in case there's somebody listening who may be feeling lonely and may not know how to move away from that and may not even admit it to somebody else.

Veronica Olalla Love (26:10) Yes. Well, there are so many components to loneliness. When we look at an emotion, we're really looking at an ecology of emotions. And so if we hold loneliness as an emotional state, because we can be alone and not lonely, when we recognize that we are lonely, often it's accompanied by other emotions, a sense of disconnection. Perhaps there's shame, perhaps there's something we're hiding. There are so many pieces, and each person has their unique ecology of emotions related to loneliness. And so part of what I believe supports us in experiencing connection rather than loneliness is to have someone who is available to listen and to have a connection.

What I've seen is that in these times, community is so important. And again, what I've noticed in our coach training programs is it's amazing to see that people enter into a community where people are wanting to learn and to grow and to support each other. And for some people, that may be the first time they've really experienced that in their adult life. How do we be in a community of people where people are actually supporting each other and caring for one another? I've seen lifelong relationships form for participants in our program. Time and time again, people say, "I'm still talking to all my study group people. There's still such an anchor in my life." And I think, my gosh, this is so gorgeous. Because even in education in the West, it's like my grade, my competition. We live in a time of modernity where separation is one of the key components. So to suddenly be in an environment where we actually recognize that we can learn together, we can support each other in creating something beautiful together.

I think that's an essential piece of what we need in today's world: how do we practice being together? Because it's something we get to learn, and we may have to unlearn some practices that we've gathered over time in order to experience belonging. We can think about a child who isn't accustomed to being with other children when they go into the playground and have to learn how to be with each other. And I feel obviously adults have a different learning process, but I think it's something that we can learn. The level of divisiveness we're experiencing right now in the globe is mind-blowing to me, and I think a lot of it comes from a lack of learning, a lack of education.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (29:32) Thank you. Veronica, when you shared that story about the gentleman, what were the key strengths and qualities you relied on to make a difference for him?

Veronica Olalla Love (29:47) Well, when I spoke about listening, there are different words we can give it: deep listening, generative listening, sacred listening. But often when people say listening, we think we're talking about the same thing. And listening is also a learned skill. We can learn to be fully present. We can attune to what we are listening for. Someone says a word and each person will hear that differently depending on their background, their interpretation. So how do we learn to listen in a way where we can be fully present and available to allow someone to perhaps say something they've never said before, or to repeat a story they've repeated so many times, but suddenly the listening has them say it in a different way and hear it themselves in a different way? Listening is such a powerful, powerful skill that we all as humans could benefit from really refining and practicing.

It's such a powerful, revolutionary force. And often it doesn't get the attention of speaking because it's perceived as just passive and dismissed. But when we recognize that the listening component is directly connected to the articulation and the speaking that is or isn't occurring, that alters our way of connecting with listening itself. For example, if I call my best friend and I'm ready to share something important with her, and she says, "Yeah, I'm cooking and I've got three kids, I'm doing this and that," maybe I don't share in that moment because she's not really listening. So to know that the listening and the speaking are in relationship, I think that changes everything about how we connect with listening.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (32:10) Thank you. Can you recall a situation where you overcame a challenge that led to personal growth? What did you learn from that experience?

Veronica Olalla Love (32:27) Yeah, so in the 1970s, my mother and my father and my siblings escaped the military coup in Chile, and they fled to Argentina, which is where I was born. And in 1976, the military overthrew the Argentinian government, so there was another coup.

When I was about one and a half, my mother had my sister and me and she was at the bus stop waiting for the bus. And all of a sudden there were shots coming from all directions. She didn't know what was happening. And so she covered my sister and me with her own body to protect us. And it was that day that she decided she was no longer willing to live in a country that wasn't her own, that was in a similar situation. And so that's the decision that then led to us coming to the United States.

And so, one, that act of love, of being willing to really risk your own life in order to save someone else's, is so deeply imprinted in me that we humans have that kind of generosity at our core. I find that amazing. And it was from fleeing these situations that my father, Julio, was in an existential crisis by the time he really arrived in the United States. And then he began to learn about this ontological work, which is what we now teach at Newfield. And so the work that we do at Newfield comes from a deep knowing of war, of what happens when people don't care, when people don't listen, when people pit each other one against the other, and knowing that not theoretically or hypothetically, but knowing it in our bones. And so in a way, that is how Newfield was born. And the care from which it comes is to provide spaces where people can really connect to the wholeness and the goodness of each other and see the power of that in bringing forth a new kind of world, engendering a new kind of future for ourselves and for our children and for future generations.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (35:29) Thank you. Has your family had an opportunity to go back to Chile since then?

Veronica Olalla Love (35:35) Yes, very much so. Yes.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (35:39) Excellent, thank you for sharing that story. You are listening to ABWilson's Heart of the Matter podcast.

Welcome back to ABWilson's Heart of the Matter. My guest today is Veronica Olalla Love. Veronica, we've talked about your work as a coach, your family, your mother's decision to move your family from Argentina, where you were living after originally coming from Chile. We've talked about what it means to be human and how the way we show up impacts others. What self-care practices or strategies help you to sustain your energy and motivation while navigating your journey?

Veronica Olalla Love (36:46) Yeah, I think this is such a fundamental question. I find that people who care deeply often get burnt out because they're doing so much. So rather than seeing self-care as a luxury or something extra, I really believe that to live a good life there needs to be a discipline around care and a practice around that.

Some of the different practices that I do, I can categorize them in a particular way. One is somatic movement. I very much believe that moving the body is so supportive. So for myself, I dance and I walk and I do yoga. There's lots of movement in my life and I do all sorts of dances. I do Latin dances and I've also been doing belly dancing for the past few years, which has been a stretch. And then I'm also doing hip hop, which is a stretch for me as well. So I like to put myself in situations where I'm a beginner, just trying something out and learning from it. That's one, and it connects me with joy and playfulness.

And then there are my creative expression practices that I mentioned a little bit before. I do piano and singing and painting, and I also write poetry. These are all ways in which I really listen to the world and listen to what's inside and express this practice of seeing deeply, which matters to me.

And then lastly, I also mentioned meditation. I meditate every day in just a wonderful way to recognize what is happening internally and to hold compassion for myself, which then translates into compassion for others. So that practice of self-acceptance and anchoring in wholeness.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (39:07) You mentioned a term that I'm not familiar with, somatic movement. What is that?

Veronica Olalla Love (39:15) Yeah, so Soma we can hold as body. I have been working with Soma for a very long time. I have my master's degree in acupuncture, so I've worked a lot with bodies. There's so much intelligence in the body, so much wisdom in the body. And so when we bring our awareness and our attention to how we are moving our body, how we are not moving our body, what our practices with our body are, all of that can then infuse into life itself. So that's part of the somatic work.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (40:01) Thank you. How might sharing your experiences of success and growth create a positive ripple effect in your family, community, and the world?

Veronica Olalla Love (40:12) Such a great question. There's this beautiful word called sympoesis. And sympoesis is becoming with others. So again, this is a moving away from thinking of self as so separate and distinct and isolated, but recognizing that we are becoming and unfolding together. When I listen to my child share her experience, I become in a different way than had I not heard that or experienced that. When I'm here with you in conversation, I'm becoming and unfolding in a way that I would not otherwise. And so when we share with each other, we learn new perspectives, we learn about new possibilities, we expand our own little view of the world. Conversation means turning together, changing together. So our view can be amplified and expanded when we really listen to someone else and take in their world, their perspective, their experiences.

And so my sense is that as people share from a place of genuineness, from a place of generosity and care, it impacts the listener, it impacts another person, it gives us the courage to share our successes and also our challenges. And again, going back to what you were mentioning around belonging, if we can hear each other and really be present to each other, that sense of belonging grows. So it would be my hope that we as humans can inspire each other, take a breath together, and make this world a more beautiful place. We need everyone's gifts. Let's weave all of these gifts together, bring them to the foreground so that we can all benefit from them.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (42:41) In your practice, do you find that people are willing to give of themselves in that way, that they're open to giving and receiving in such a wonderful way of being?

Veronica Olalla Love (43:02) Yeah, I've seen time and time again that when the context is held with respect and dignity, it's amazing what people will share and say. What is oftentimes perceived as something negative or bad, when we actually speak and share, there's a freedom that begins to happen. And when we're witnessed with that respect and that dignity, there's a recognition of, "I see myself in you, and you see yourself in me," and suddenly, wait, you've suffered, I've suffered. You've loved, I've loved. Suddenly there are these unifying threads. Yes, we're distinct and we're unique and we're original in our own way. There will never be another person just like you again. And at the same time, there are some fundamental mutual aspects of being alive that bring us together in an extraordinary way. And when we touch the heart of that, I feel like it ignites the learning, it ignites our capacity to be big in a way that is of service and positive. It's very powerful.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (44:32) And I'm also thinking that it expands, right? That if a group comes together around the work that you do, they then leave and it grows.

Veronica Olalla Love (44:45) Absolutely, yes, yes, yes. I mean, the success stories of our graduates and our alumni community are amazing. Authors and people starting nonprofits and taking on executive coaching and impacting corporations. It just spreads. And that's what's so beautiful to see. All of this effect that begins to happen.

And then it's also beautiful because for our alumni community, we have all these events and practices where people can come back and reconnect. And there's a way in which people get nourished from that. I think we all need places where we feel nourished. And so that kind of coming home, like, oh my goodness, you get me, I get you, is just a wonderful, wonderful aspect.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (45:47) Thank you. What exciting opportunities do you see on the horizon? How do these opportunities align with your passions and aspirations?

Veronica Olalla Love (45:57) Yeah, well, I have a few exciting things happening. On a personal note, I'm going on my very first painting retreat in Italy. That is my big birthday present this year, which is so exciting for me. I'm also going to do a performance with this choir, which I've never done before in my life. So I'm doing new things. And then in terms of Newfield, just around the corner in March, we have our coach training that launches. It launches twice a year, March and September. So we have programs this year that I'm always so looking forward to. You always meet such extraordinary humans. So it's just a delight to be in the company of people that are so courageous and so willing to learn and be genuine and authentic.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (47:00) Well, good luck with your various endeavors, including the painting retreat. When is your birthday?

Veronica Olalla Love (47:09) My birthday is in April. The retreat is in the fall. Thank you.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (47:11) Okay, so you're going to Italy in the fall. Well, good luck! I hope that as a result of the retreat, we get to see some of that work on your website, because I'll be looking out for it.

Veronica Olalla Love (47:27) Thank you, yeah, that'll be fun.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (47:31) Veronica, what brings you joy?

Veronica Olalla Love (47:34) Oh my goodness. What brings me joy? What a beautiful question. For me, joy is found in the art of connection. It's those moments where we deeply see the world and see another person. I find that when I am really experiencing that deep sense of oneness and the creation process, I love seeing things being created and unfold and change and being an active part of bringing beauty to the world.

And then what we mentioned before, when I see people who have the courage to look deeply into their patterns, the ways in which they feel trapped or confined. When people are willing to look into those places and say, "This no longer serves me," and then to see people move through that, I think that is one of the most gorgeous things I've ever seen. And for some reason in this lifetime, I've had the honor of seeing it over and over again. So I have so much faith in human capacity for change, because I've seen it literally thousands of times. That inspires me and brings me a lot of joy, knowing that goodness resides within each of us.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (49:17) Thank you. So we're nearing the end of our conversation today. My next question is about book recommendations. What book recommendation or recommendations do you have? It can be a book you've read recently or something that has stayed with you over the years.

Veronica Olalla Love (49:41) Yes, so the first one is a book I'm writing myself, a poetry book. I've actually just been working on it quite a bit in the past few days. I don't have a title yet, but the book is about transformation. It's about the alchemical arc of going into the belly of the whale, going into the darkness, into what we're scared of, into what makes us quiver, and moving through that and finding the courage to bring forth the gems that reside in that place and that we can only get to when we actually move through those fears and that darkness. So that book is coming, though I don't know when.

And then another book that has yet to come out is actually my husband's book. That one does have a title: Evolutionary Gestures. He is also a co-facilitator at Newfield, and he's writing a book that weaves the wisdom of Chinese medicine, ontological work, and adult development and consciousness with some personal narrative. And it is extraordinary. I'm not just saying that because I'm biased as his wife, but it is truly an extraordinary work and I think it will have a very large impact. That one will come out in the fall. Evolutionary Gestures by Alexander Love.

And then a book that's already out, so you have something tangible right now, is A Theory of Everything by Ken Wilber. I just find that little book, and if you don't know Ken Wilber's work, his four quadrant model, all of it, I find that it's a way to weave together something that seems separate in modern life. And so I find it very healing to see how things relate and connect. So I would recommend A Theory of Everything by Ken Wilber.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (52:10) Thank you. Veronica, we've come to the end of our really great, fascinating conversation. Is there anything else? Do you have any final thoughts?

Veronica Olalla Love (52:23) Yes. I would invite us all to remember our wholeness. So often we live in myths of we are broken, we need to be fixed, we're not okay. And although we go through struggles and challenges and frictions and breakdowns and all of that in life, I truly believe that fundamentally, underneath it all, each human is whole and not broken and doesn't need to be fixed. Do we need attention? Yes. Do we need to be listened to? Absolutely. Do we need love and care? Yes. So I would invite us to recognize our wholeness and from there our dignity as humans.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (53:20) Thank you so much. Thank you for your really strong yet gentle words of guidance and support for people who are listening and may be lonely, may have questions. You've provided some meaty and weighty answers. So thank you. I just want to go through some of the appreciation nuggets that I'm taking away. You've said that listening is a powerful skill. You talked about, and I hope I pronounced it correctly, sympoesis, becoming with others. And I want to investigate that more. How do we connect and belong together in really meaningful ways that honor who we are when we show up and who we become? I really want to learn more about that. And your closing remarks: remember our wholeness, that we are whole inside and to remember that.

Veronica, thank you so much for your time today. I truly appreciate you joining me on ABWilson's Heart of the Matter, a podcast dedicated to asking overwhelmingly positive questions as we uncover incredible stories and wisdom of people you may know. Thank you so much for being here today.

Veronica Olalla Love (55:14) Thank you.