S3 Ep26. Play, Pause and Parenting with Presence: A Conversation with Dr. Julia Sen

In this episode of ABWilson’s Heart of the Matter, Dr. Julia Sen shares a deeply personal and inspiring story about how her passion for parenting support came full circle. What began as a childhood desire to help children eventually led her into psychology, infertility work and now a new chapter focused on creating community-centered support for parents. Julia opens up about her own fertility journey, living with PCOS, and how those experiences shaped both her compassion and her calling.

Julia describes herself as playful, fascinated and parenting-focused, and those words come through clearly throughout the conversation. She talks about the joy she finds in play, music, baseball, learning new creative skills and staying curious about life. 

She also shares why she stepped away from traditional psychology, explaining that she wanted more freedom to support parents in an accessible, global way through a membership-based community called Supported.

At the heart of the episode is Julia’s belief that children thrive when they feel understood. She introduces the Habit of Heart, a mini course built around secure attachment and three simple daily statements: “I’ve got you,” “You’re safe with me,” and “I believe in you.” Julia also offers her Be Fabulous practice, or BFAB, as a way for parents to regulate themselves in stressful moments by breathing, offering empathy, affirming safety, and believing in themselves and their children.

The conversation also explores how parents can break generational patterns and respond differently in challenging moments. Julia shares how she has worked to interrupt cycles of exhaustion, yelling, guilt and self-sacrifice by learning to pause, practice self-empathy, and respond with more intention. Her reflections are thoughtful, practical, and full of warmth, making this episode especially meaningful for parents who want to grow without perfectionism.

https://www.abwilsonconsulting.com

https://abwilsonphotography.com

Transcript

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (00:01.28)

Welcome to another edition of ABWilson's Heart of the Matter, a podcast that uses overwhelmingly positive questions to learn about our guests, where every episode uncovers extraordinary stories of triumph, growth and empowerment. Hi, I'm Aderonke Bademosi Wilson. Greetings from Bermuda. My guest on today's show is Julia Sen. She is playful, parenting focused and fascinated. Julia, welcome to the show.

Julia Sen (00:35.855)

Thank you so much, Aderonke, for having me. I just, well, I'll be going on and on about the heart of the matter. Like the title is so great. I love this. I love being here and it's such an honor. Thank…

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (00:47.982)

And Julia, I'm gonna go right in with parenting focused. Tell me what that means. Tell me about your work in that area.

Julia Sen (00:58.115)

Yeah, you know, parenting has been something that I didn't realize was my focus since I was a little kid. I always felt like I wanted to help other children and sort of as a little kid, as a little salvation kid, you know, pediatrician was kind of the road that I was expecting to take to help kids. But, you know, full circle, here I am. I became a psychologist and I ended up working in the infertility world and then thankfully, a majority of my clients turned into parents. And then all of a sudden I was working with parents realizing that I'm positively affecting children again. So it kind of came full circle back with my passion, my mission to be parent focused since I was young. And I guess I'm saying that in the sense of I've always wanted to create a space for parents where kids really feel understood. So parents will be understood by me and by the other members in the community that I'm creating. And then the children, like the focus is parenting, so our kids feel understood.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (02:09.166)

You mentioned that you used to do some work in infertility. Tell me a little bit about that.

Julia Sen (02:15.003)

Yeah, yeah, for sure. I mean, it's a very, very challenging and traumatic sort of area for people, right? Because our focus in life for so many people is I want to become a parent, right? That's just what we're going to do. It's the next phase. It's the next stage. So many people believe and feel that. And then when we're hit with this recognition that it's not so simple, right? It's not just a matter of, OK, we're going to have a kid now. Let's just go do that. It can really be very, very challenging. I mean, one in six people have infertility issues. And so my friend who's a reproductive endocrinologist, a specialist in fertility, he said, look, you know, there's so much need in this area for psychology support because the emotional impact has a huge impact actually on this. Can you really practice in this area? And I'm like, you know what? I can, especially because I personally went through some fertility myself. I have PCOS, and so it wasn't a straightforward line. I knew I was going to have difficulty because of the PCOS, so I kind of did some early intervention. But I do have two children now with fertility support.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (03:32.726)

And one is PCOS.

Julia Sen (03:34.639)

That's polycystic ovary syndrome. And it really is like a, I mean, in a textbook case, it's like pearls of little cysts that are around the ovaries. And it creates a lot of trouble for a lot of people, a lot of, I mean, there's weight gain, there can be thyroid issues, can be so many issues that come with it. But one of the big ones is infertility. Yeah. Yeah.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (04:01.464)

Thank you. And let's go back to your descriptors. Fascinated. What does that mean?

Julia Sen (04:09.755)

I love that word because I feel like when we walk around life being fascinated, it's sort of like being in the state of awe, right? And curiosity. And that's kind of what I feel like I've always wanted to be. Certainly as a kid, that's kind of how I walked around in the sort of dream state of like, wow, right? Look at this world, you know? And that's what I want to bring to others. So when I show up, I hope that I'm coming across with this energy of wow, this is amazing and that kind of fascination and that lightness that comes with that.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (04:49.486)

I think that goes into your fascination as well.

Julia Sen (04:53.625)

Yes, playful. Yes, completely. Playfulness is... I mean, I literally play like I like to play games. Like when it comes to board games, I like to play sports. I do like to just play. But play has to be about the fun, not the competition for me. That's critical.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (05:17.144)

And I was going to ask about that because unfortunately I'm super competitive, right? And so sometimes the play is about, you know, okay, am I going to win and how am I going to win and strategize and how to win. But it also sounds that your version of play is about the enjoyment as well, right?

Julia Sen (05:41.579)

I mean, don't get me wrong, I love winning too. Who doesn't like winning? Let's be real. But yes, but I definitely am in the process of it versus like, I'm not in it to like see the outcome. I'm in it to play and do my best at what I'm doing and have fun with it. Whether that's like playing Pictionary and be really into it or whether that's still playing squash or tennis, which I'm starting to finally get back into.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (06:11.694)

Thank you.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (06:17.976)

So Julia, I'd like our listeners to learn a little bit more about you. Please share three interesting things about yourself that our listeners may not know and your friends will be surprised to learn.

Julia Sen (06:36.25)

Friends will be surprised to learn too. That's a… I think that… I mean, some of my friends know this, but not everybody knows this, but last summer I actually took an in-person course to learn how to become a DJ. And that was super fun. It was actually even led by a South Asian mom, which I thought was so cool here in the trauma area in Mississauga. And I just loved it. I was like… look at this, this is incredible. What an opportunity. Do I want to do it? I mean, it was a commitment. It was weekly for a few hours. It was not a simple thing, and it definitely was a good brain exercise, let me tell you. It's really hard, but I loved it. So that's one thing, learning how to be a DJ. And the other was, it's still sound related, but I did learn how to provide sound meditation like gongs and drumming and crystal balls, chimes, that sort of thing. But I learned it from a Buddhist monk at the Buddhist temple in Ontario.

Julia Sen (07:49.755)

And then the third thing would be that — I mean, listeners wouldn't know this for sure, my friends do — when I think of the word baseball and playing baseball, I actually get so energized. To the point where I remember when my daughter was young, she's like, what should we do? I want to do something. And I was really tired, and I was like, I don't know, my thyroid seems to be off today, I don't know what's going on, I'm not feeling well, I'm really tired. And, literally, I don't know, but she's like, how about basketball? You don't play basketball? I'm like, sweetheart, I don't have the energy, I'm so sorry. And then she just kept listing things. She's like, how about baseball? I jumped out of the bed. I'm like, what? Baseball? And then suddenly I found my old bat and I found my glove. And everything was just coming together, because energetically, it just wakes me up for some reason. I don't know what it is. I'm not great at it. I didn't play in leagues. Just loved it.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (08:49.889)

And is there a particular position that you play?

Julia Sen (08:53.45)

No. It's like I'm telling you I did not play on a team. It was all for fun. I mean I love batting like anybody would. I don't love outfield but if I am going to be outfield it is yeah out outfield like way out. Yeah.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (09:10.447)

Let's go back to the DJing course. How did you pursue a DJ course? Is this something that you've always wanted to do?

Julia Sen (09:20.804)

I think in the back of my mind, whenever I've seen anything related to DJing and that kind of mixing, it was always intriguing. So, you know, when the iPod came out, there was this little device that you could add on. I'm like, this looks cool. Should I try that? And I've always wanted to play with it. But I know that I'm the kind of person that learns best with others, not sort of watching a YouTube video like my older daughter. She's all about watching YouTube videos and learning everything. She's great with that, but I'm not. And so I love learning in community and connection. And so that's, that's why I chose this one last year, but it's always sort of been there — I just never saw an opportunity to do it together with people like that. So that was cool. And since I was little, I feel like I joke that — I mean, I'm a resigned psychologist right now, but I used to joke that I'm the psychologist that should have been a percussionist. And like, there's just that in me, and I, you know, I didn't really pursue it. So that's, yeah, I think that's part of that.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (10:25.167)

So you just said you're a resigned psychologist. Are you going back to it? Is this the end of your psychology path for now? Do you want to talk about that a little?

Julia Sen (10:39.78)

Sure, yeah. I mean, I would say it's probably the most courageous thing I've ever done because I released a consistent income and all of that. But the reason I did it was as I was pursuing more and more in the parenting world, like helping parents, I started to recognize that being under the College of Psychologists, there are all these limitations. I can only see, of course, adults. I wouldn't be able to even check in with the kids to see how they're doing, or just to get a sense of them, because they're not allowed in my space — that's not my specialty. I was an adult psychologist. Also, I can't go outside of Ontario, which is, you know, as big as Ontario is, the work that I want to do, which is with, you know, great personal growth oriented people and parents — I needed to sort of tap into a more global market as well. I think that to bring us together in a way that is very meaningful, I needed to get outside of Ontario as well. And that was a limit, too. It was a lot, and it was sort of sitting with me for a couple of years as I was growing my parenting world. And I'm like, I really just want to do this in an accessible way too, because by making it like a membership or collective, I'm making a monthly plan that's very, very reasonable when I launch it. It'll be launching in the fall. It's going to be $27 a month with tons of access and tons of space to really connect with others who are growth minded and like-minded, and also just get the support that we need. So it's called Supported, and that's the goal. So I was noticing, like, as a psychologist — I mean, I loved my work while I did it. Very, very meaningful. I have no regrets whatsoever. In fact, it's created a huge part of who I am and why I do this work. But it was no longer serving what I wanted to do in this world and the impact for the kids. Back to that. For the children, yeah.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (12:44.335)

Thank you. Thank you for sharing, Julia. Can you tell us about a recent accomplishment or success that you're particularly proud of?

Julia Sen (12:57.625)

I mean, that one is huge — I think that one is probably my biggest recent one. But I would say it's related to that, and that is really curating a space that I am proud of for parents who recognize that when our children feel understood, and we learn how to do that, then everything actually just starts to flow for them, for us in the house, all of it. But we're parenting today because we're exhausted and we're constantly task-oriented, and society's really pushed for that. We've sort of lost the ability to pause and see our kids. So that's what this is a space for — really helping us, in a practical way, help our children feel understood. To me, I'm really proud of what I'm creating right now and putting together right now.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (14:00.367)

So anybody that's listening that has a child, what guidance would you give them to do what you just said, the ability to pause and actually see their children? What does that look like and how would somebody do it?

Julia Sen (14:17.753)

Yeah, totally. Well, actually I'm going to give a free gift to your listeners. It's called The Habit of Heart, which I thought was quite, quite, uh, you know, relevant here, considering the name of your podcast is Heart of the Matter. And so The Habit of Heart is a little mini course, and it takes you through a tiny bit of education around what attachment looks like, why that's important, and how to create a secure attachment. But I created a process of three simple statements that we tell our children every day. And the younger they are, the better, to be honest, because it's, they sort of take it in — teenagers are a little harder, a little bit of a different angle. And these three statements are very simple. They're: I've got you, you're safe with me, and I believe in you. And that's sort of what really brings together what a secure attachment is all about, how a child will feel seen and understood, right? Because we are pausing to focus on them. So the gift I'll be giving you is a mini course. It's basically drjuliasen.com/THOH, or The Habit of Heart. And they can sign up and go through that course. There's a bonus section that I recommend people doing, because it helps us regulate our nervous system beyond breath work alone. So I think that what I've seen as a psychologist is — I love breath work, I do it myself, you know — but there's one part of that that's really relevant to empathy, and it's empathy towards ourselves as a parent. So if I'm, you know, trying to help myself understand what's happening to this child who is screaming on the floor in the grocery, you know, we need to pause and actually show ourselves empathy. We need to breathe. And then we need to show ourselves empathy, which means, wow, this is a lot right now. This is so embarrassing and overwhelming, and it's really hard. And when we acknowledge that for ourselves, we come back to the heart, come back inward, right? And then we remind ourselves that we're safe and we're okay. And hey, give yourself a little bit of a rub, a hug, you know, to acknowledge that, and then come back to the child and be able to

Julia Sen (16:43.447)

do the same thing with them. It's called Be Fabulous because it's breathe, empathy, fact, which is we are still safe and okay, even though this is really, really hard, affirm, which is simply a hug, and then B is for believe. So Be Fab, out of Be Fabulous. Yeah.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (17:01.091)

Yeah. And it's kind of hard when you're in the moment, right? Because everything's happening at once. If you have more than one child and one of them's on the floor having a tantrum, you got to support yourself. Keep the one kid that's not on the floor with you and calm and then address what's going on. How do you

Julia Sen (17:17.561)

Exactly.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (17:31.257)

pause in that moment, without getting flustered and without reacting immediately.

Julia Sen (17:41.121)

Yeah, 100%. So, BFAB is for those moments. However, I will be honest, we want to sort of train our brains ahead of time. So when I work with people, I get them to, for two minutes, you know, visualize a scene like that, what you just said, like literally that exact scene. Maybe it's one that's already happened. Maybe it's one you're imagining. And then you actually visualize yourself doing BFAB, going through the steps. And then your brain becomes familiar with it, right? After a few times of practicing visually or in your imagination, then when it's the moment, the brain's like, hey, wait, I know this — this is what we do in those moments. So while BFAB is there as a reactive, soothing strategy, it is also still proactive, because we're practicing it ahead of time. And when we're on our own, I don't know — just doing this on our own, we're not going to practice. That's why I wanted to bring people together in a group. That's the idea — as a collective, we're all kind of like, wait, you're doing that too? I'm doing that too! It feels possible when we know others are doing it. Whereas when I was doing one-on-one therapy with people, when I used to be a psychologist, that was great, and we would see movement, but they could only afford to see me once every two or three weeks, maybe a month in between. Sure, they knew they were supposed to practice, but, you know, parenting is the kind of thing that people are like, I'm supposed to just know. So it's really hard to believe that we are supposed to practice something like this. But when we're in community and we see that we're all on board with this and we all get it and we can see the benefits of it, then suddenly it becomes a lot easier, which is why I wanted to shift to more community-focused, accessible programs. Yeah.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (19:26.83)

Mm-hmm

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (19:34.479)

And speaking of your programs, are they online? Is it just in person? How do they work?

Julia Sen (19:41.145)

Yeah, yeah, for sure. So right now they're online. And that's why sort of able to get the global reach as well. But as we grow and expand that I'm also going to have like if you're in Toronto, for example, where we are, we will have also some in person events that will be sort of in addition just to bring community gather. And again, as it grows and each place that has a certain number of people, we can bring them together as well. Yeah.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (20:06.671)

Julia, please tell us about a time when you made a difference in another's life. What were the circumstances? Paint a picture for me.

Julia Sen (20:18.328)

I mean, obviously the first thing that comes to mind is as a psychologist, but I'm not going to do that actually, because every session feels important. So, my daughter, my younger daughter, Priyana, when she was little, like three-ish, she used to act out through pinching, right? Her behaviors would be about pinching. And of course, everybody around would be like, stop pinching, you're being mean to your sister — she would pinch my other daughter, her older sister. And I, in that moment, had a lot of empathy for her, because I'm like, something else is happening. This kid doesn't just randomly pinch, right? There's something happening. And so I took her aside and said, sweetheart, you know, I see you're pinching and that's not an option, but what's happening? And it took a little while before she could even let me know, at three years old — she couldn't quite articulate it. She's like, I just needed to, right? And I'm like, okay, but what's going on? And ultimately we were able to say, my sister was being mean to me, right, and I didn't have the words to be mean back, so I pinched instead. And I'm like, okay, that makes sense — so let me talk to your sister about that too, right? But same thing: what was going on for you that you felt like you needed to be mean to Priyana? And that was the funny one — she was like, isn't that what big sisters are supposed to do, be mean to your little sisters? I'm like, where are you getting this from? She's like, television. I'm like, my God. So, well, I get it, you're right, that's what they show you on TV, but no, that is not the goal. So that's where everybody was seen, everybody was understood, nobody got into trouble, nobody was labeled. And to me that had a huge impact on who they became, both of them, as people today, because they weren't labeled the difficult pinching child who caused this trouble, or the mean one, you know what I mean? It was just —

Julia Sen (22:35.776)

I get it, I hear you, I see this. Okay, let's find other ways. And then we can change this and then slowly but surely things started changing and they felt good. So I feel like that was huge because it could have easily gone the other way.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (22:53.997)

And given your proactive work with your daughters, what were the key strengths and qualities you relied on to make a difference in this instance?

Julia Sen (23:07.896)

If I'm really going to reflect on that incident, or others where I was guiding them, it was this urgency inside of me to feel understood. And I knew that I wanted them to be understood, because I feel like in my generation, no one understood kids. We just listened, right? Or didn't. It doesn't take much to be really misunderstood — it was either people pleaser or completely you're a bad kid. And I didn't want either of those for my children. So I think that it was an internal little kid in me who's always wanted to do this work that was sort of the strength that came out to make these changes. Break the pattern, I guess.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (24:01.103)

Can you recall a situation where you overcame a challenge that led to personal growth? What did you learn from that experience?

Julia Sen (24:17.431)

I feel like everything always comes back to parenting, so I'm trying to think of something else. I've been so focused on that, that that's what's coming out for me.

Julia Sen (24:28.831)

I mean, the fertility piece was big for me, right? I knew since I was young, obviously, that I wanted to have children. It was like a clear knowing — it wasn't just because I'm supposed to, but I love children. So I knew that was something. And so I think that approaching the fertility, even proactively with that — I told my husband we're going to have trouble almost for sure, because, you know, I didn't even get my period the majority of my life and there were all these issues. And so I wanted to make sure that we were seeing somebody right away. And I was very proactive with telling the family doctor — normally you have to wait a year of trying before you're referred. I think that's changed now to six months, but when I was doing that, it was a year. And I just said, no, we want to try now. I know this is a problem. And I convinced them to give me the referral early, you know, and then I did that, and I really tried to listen to me and my body and what I needed. So when we were going through all of the cycle monitoring and all the meds and all the things, I was getting exhausted, right? As everybody does doing this process. And there was a month where they said, well, okay, we can't do the cycle monitoring the same way because we're closing for Christmas. It was basically for a few weeks. I'm like, well, but that's when I'm supposed to be coming in. I can't lose a month. That's not an option. And they said, well, you could try on your own — here, we'll give you the tests and what to do, and you can try on your own to see when you're ovulating. And I'm like, OK, what do I need to do? And I just took full charge because I'm like, I can't skip the month. That was the big piece, right? And not going in was so much better for me.

Julia Sen (26:28.159)

Because this whole lineup at 6 a.m. — I mean, it's a real process, and that was the early stage. There's so much more to fertility that's so much more intense, and this was even in the earlier stages, and I was still overwhelmed, right? So taking that break and taking more charge of it really helped. And that was the month that I got pregnant. So I do feel that there was something there. And that also fed into the professional side, like working in the world that I do, because the idea of reduction in stress is so important. It doesn't take away your infertility, but it does help you navigate it when you reduce stress.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (27:17.955)

Thank you for sharing your story.

Julia Sen (27:20.193)

For sure, absolutely. And to be honest, even when I did become a parent, like I was doing all the things everybody does — exhausted, overwhelmed, you know, what do I do here? This is a lot, I don't know how to handle this. Do I yell at them? Do I? And I did. I mean, there were days when I was screaming at them and all of it. And I'm grateful that I was able to pause at moments and go, wow, look at their face. Right? Like something allowed me to see their face and that little eye flicker that was like shame kicking in, or, you know, obviously when it was really upsetting them and they would run away and be screaming and mad, I actually just stopped. I'm like, I'm so exhausted, I can't just stop — I can't stop because I want to stop. And I had to figure out how do I help myself, how do I help myself be, you know, calmer, so to speak, but more nourishing of myself. And that's what I really worked on. And it took a lot, because our learning, especially as women, as moms, is self-sacrifice, self-sacrifice, self-sacrifice, right? And I realized that I just hated that statement and that it was wrong. I mean, literally it's wrong. It does not serve anyone. And so that was a really huge obstacle to breaking that cycle — stopping the exhaustion and yelling cycle and guilt, you know, exhaustion, yell, guilt, exhaustion, yell, guilt. That was what was happening, and that was not going to work. And again, I'm grateful that I was able to take that pause and say, okay, how do I change this? What do I need to do? And I got into the world of personal growth and all these really cool things. And yeah, it was very interesting.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (29:15.94)

Thank you. You are listening to ABWilson's Heart of the Matter podcast. Welcome back to ABWilson's Heart of the Matter. My guest today is Julia Sen. Julia, we've talked about your shift in career from no longer being a psychologist, having resigned. You've talked about your fertility journey and how you have managed and worked on yourself as a parent, as you've been parenting. And you've also talked about the work that you do to support parents so that children can be heard. What self-care practices or strategies help you sustain your energy and motivation while navigating your journey?

Julia Sen (30:15.446)

Yeah, yeah, that's a great question. I mean, I'm the kind of person — and I joke as I say this, but it's very real — that I'm consistently inconsistent. So I'll do breath work, and then I won't. And then I'll meditate, and then I won't. Unless I absolutely just love it and it's super short, then sometimes it lasts longer, but even that. So it's more that I'm doing something, versus doing one or two things all the way through. So you have to know yourself — I feel like I know that just isn't the thing. So I used to get mad at myself when I would drop it, like, really? I couldn't keep up with this? It was so simple, it was so easy. But then I started recognizing that, yeah, but I'd find something else. I might take a break where nothing happens for a couple of months or something, but then ultimately I'd find something else. So whether that's dancing or breath work — I was learning ballroom dancing for a while, and then I tried to do some contemporary too, which, yeah, that's hard. But then, like I said, I would meditate, and sometimes I would commit to a meditation — the longest one I ever committed to was one full year. And that was because the program asked for 365 days, and I was like, okay, I'm committing to this. And I did do that one. But as soon as the 365 days was over, I was done. And again, I used to get mad at myself, but I'm just inviting people not to get mad at themselves when they're trying different things — find what nourishes you. On the other hand, my younger daughter, the pincher, or the past pincher — which I will not label her now, since I just realized she is a singer-songwriter now — she crochets. And whenever I'd say, you know, meditation is really good, why don't we try that, she'd say, yeah, crocheting is my meditation. And so I'm like, perfect, go for it. That's her thing. So she'll drop off of it, and then she'll come back to it. But it's always crochet. For me, it's not always something. And knowing yourself, what works — there's no right answer to it. But…

Julia Sen (32:38.42)

Finding that and then giving yourself some grace when you drop it for a while is okay. It's important to give ourselves that grace.

Julia Sen (32:54.164)

Did I answer that question? Okay, good.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (32:55.309)

Yes, you did. Thank you. Thank you. And how might sharing your experiences of success and growth create a positive ripple effect in your family, community, the world?

Julia Sen (33:11.094)

I mean, honestly, I feel like the last 20 years of my life has been really focused on doing that, like just continuing to grow. A lot of people in my industry and in the world talk about healing, right? I certainly, there's an aspect of life and growth that includes healing. I like to look at it as more exploration, like we're doing the next deep dive in. So once one layer is explored, now we're going to the next layer, versus seeing it as, and there's another layer to heal, right? Because that can feel exhausting. So I think that mindset, sort of seeing it as a curious exploration as we continue to grow, has been felt for sure by my clients, the people that I'm working with now as I create Supported — they can all see and feel that mindset, and it opens up possibility, you know? And I feel that definitely the children 100% have — I mean, they've told me that watching me role model that has been really helpful to them because they know that anything is possible.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (34:27.629)

Let's go back to parenting. Do people tend to parent their own children the way they were parented?

Julia Sen (34:37.014)

I mean, it's kind of like — I look at it like a language. When you're in parent land, the language you know is only going to be the one that you heard. So it's sort of familiar, right? So until we're intentional about making the change, we're going to speak that language. So yes, the answer is absolutely yes — people will, unless they're really doing it on purpose, do what they did.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (35:06.519)

Hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Julia Sen (35:06.663)

What they received, I should say.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (35:12.587)

Julia, what exciting opportunities do you see on the horizon and how do these opportunities align with your passions and aspirations?

Julia Sen (35:22.518)

Yeah. I mean, it's a good question for this time because it's like an open field now for me, which is really cool. I love that. It's like there's more breathability and space to make these creations. Right now I'm doing sort of a beta version of Supported. I have a small number of people, so we're really curating it in a way that I know will be relevant for the world. And I just see how beautiful that will — what a beautiful space that's gonna grow into globally. So that really excites me for what's coming up on the horizon. And just sort of even imagining people doing The Habit of Heart, right? With others, kind of like the Mel Robbins high five. It's just a simple daily quick connection with your kids so that they feel like, hey, they stopped to get me, they stopped to understand me, they stopped to see me. Like all of that is really exciting. And it's actually got it trademarked — the trademark is now registered. So it's all coming together.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (36:37.871)

Well, good luck. I wish you great success in the program because what you're doing is making a difference for parents who in turn will make a difference for their children who in turn will make a difference for the world.

Julia Sen (36:39.082)

Thank you. Thank you.

Julia Sen (36:55.456)

Thank you for saying it like that, because that's exactly it. Yeah.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (37:00.931)

What brings you joy?

Julia Sen (37:04.704)

I mean, baseball, clearly. Laughter, like really just stopping and pausing. And when I have these moments where your stomach hurts because you're laughing — finding moments like that is really amazing. Like being deliberate about finding moments like that, just noticing that. And, you know, music does bring me joy. My daughter being a singer-songwriter — her music is very... she was diagnosed with autism as an adult. And so that speaks to me around, wow, thank goodness I changed my parenting when I did, right? Because had I not, it would have been a very different path for her. As much as her songs are very sad, they're... there's still this joy of seeing someone doing truly what they love and having no fear of, like, this won't work. There's just a knowing. And so that brings me joy, just watching the kids and what they're doing. My older daughter also — she took a more traditional path, but just seeing her, she loves to dance, so I'm fascinated by watching her do that kind of thing too. Personally, internally, the joy for me comes from oceans. If you could see my screen saver right now, there are all these big waves coming around. I mean, you just plunk me in front of an ocean and leave me there for the rest of my life, I'll be good. I get so excited when I see the wave curling. There's something about the... that part right there, that crystal-clear glass kind of look that is beyond anything for me. That brings me the greatest joy.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (39:04.597)

I got to tell you, as a photographer, seeing that curl, seeing nature, really, creating that space and then the energy, I think that's what it is that attracts me. The energy in that wave is always fascinating. So thank you for sharing that.

Julia Sen (39:26.601)

Yeah, no, I love that. That's amazing. Yeah, as a photographer, that would be incredible. Yeah, beautiful.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (39:33.943)

And to be able to capture it and share the energy, have somebody feel the energy as they're looking at the picture is magical. I'm not that kind of photographer. I don't have that skill, but I do appreciate it. It is truly a magical, energetic space and image.

Julia Sen (39:52.597)

Absolutely. I mean, I love to see your photography. I'm sure it has a lot more impact than you recognize. So yeah.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (40:00.249)

Thank you. Julia, we're coming to the end of our wonderful conversation. What book recommendation or recommendations do you have? It can be a book or books that you've read recently or something that has stayed with you over the years.

Julia Sen (40:18.697)

Recently, I actually read — I saw five years ago now — a book by Jim Quick. I don't know if you've heard of him. He has a wonderful story actually of how he became who he is today. But the book is called Limitless. And it really resonated for me because I consider myself like possibility is the word for me. So Limitless and possibility are kind of married in my mind. And so it really just sort of put together all the energy of possibility into a bit of a practical step-by-step process of how to be limitless. And I really feel like that was very helpful for me and for anybody who's interested in that personal growth kind of world and opening things up. So yeah, Limitless by Jim Quick. And then there's another completely different one — it's a book of poems. It is actually by a friend of mine. Her name is Tanya, Tanya Gupta. And she wrote What Will People Say? And as a South Asian woman of color, that's a big deal, right? What will people say? And we are activated — our whole nervous system gets activated by that fear of what will people say, what will they think, right? And she just beautifully illustrates in her poetry the impact of what people will say.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (41:56.291)

Thank you.

Julia Sen (41:57.321)

Yeah, for sure.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (42:01.037)

Julia, is there anything else? Do you have any final thoughts?

Julia Sen (42:06.186)

First of all, thank you. I mean, this was amazing. And I just love what you're doing here. And like you said, bringing in all these positive questions and keeping us grounded in our heart and connected to that. I just love this. I love this so much. So it's such an honor to be here. So thank you for that, for sure. That's the most important thing.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (42:26.041)

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Julia Sen (42:27.763)

Yeah. And other than that, I mean, like I said, the Habit of Heart — the gift is there. So, you know, join the mini course, and it can be applied to yourself too, right? It's not just for our children, but to ourselves, because there's that little kid inside of all of us who does need to feel understood and feel held, like someone's got them and believes in them, because we're never done growing. Right. Yeah.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (42:55.343)

Julia, thank you. A quote came to mind as you were speaking, and I hope I get it right. It goes something like: the greatest gift I can give is to see, hear, understand, and touch another. The greatest gift I can receive is to be seen, heard, understood, and touched by another. And forgive me if I totally got it wrong, but that's the essence of it. It's by a lady by the name of Virginia Satir. And so listening to you talk, especially as you talk about children being seen, that quote came to mind, and I thought, yeah, that is a gift. That is a gift that we do give to others. That is absolutely one of the appreciation nuggets that I'm taking away from our talk. Another is giving yourself grace, right? When things aren't going perfectly as a parent, to be able to step back — and you said BFAB was the acronym that you used — allowing parents to, first of all, practice, and then, when the time comes, hopefully remember what they've learned in order to address situations with their children. And then the third is your gift — your gift to my listeners — The Habit of Heart on your website, where people can go and do an assessment and be.

Julia Sen (44:51.369)

Yeah, I'll give you the link, because my website is being revamped right now, but it is like — my website is drjuliasen.com/THOH for that. Yeah. Yeah.

Aderonke Bademosi Wilson (45:01.473)

Okay. And so I encourage people to go and try it and make sure that they get in contact with you. Julia, I truly appreciate you taking the time to join me on ABWilson's Heart of the Matter, a podcast dedicated to asking overwhelmingly positive questions as we uncover incredible stories and wisdom of people you may know. Julia Sen, thank you so much.

Julia Sen (45:29.461)

Thank you.