012- Finding Grace: How We Treat Others and Ourselves in Perimenopause

Feeling burnt out and resentful? This episode is for you! We explore how to extend grace to yourself and others, especially during the emotional rollercoaster of perimenopause.

Key Takeaways:

1. The Power of Grace: Extend grace to yourself and others to create a ripple effect of calm and understanding.
2. Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Learn 3 strategies to manage stress and negative emotions.
3. Ditch the Negativity: Avoid getting stuck in drama, stress eating, or social media comparison traps.

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Disclaimer:  I am not a medical doctor. The information and recommendations provided during our coaching sessions are intended to support your overall health and wellness and are not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment. Always consult with your physician before making any changes to your medication, treatment plan, or if you have any concerns about your health. 

Transcript

Embracing Grace in Perimenopause

Speaker 1 2:28

Have you ever feel like you're just one meltdown away from losing it all? Juggling the mom life, the work life and adding in perimenopause symptoms and the daily grind can leave you feeling burnt out and resentful. But what if there was a way to break free from the negativity and find more grace for yourself and for others, more grace for yourself and for others. Hey everyone, welcome back to another week of Smash the Crash, and today we're diving into a topic that hits pretty close to home for many of us, especially around perimenopausal moms how we treat others and, ultimately, how we treat ourselves. Before we dive in, I want to acknowledge some fan mail that I received and send a shout out right back to you. Steph, who's an American living in Denmark, sent me a message. Love the term. Micro habit changes. Bit by bit, we can do it right. Appreciate the reminder. Yes, stephanie, thank you so much for your loving up on the podcast and that's all I'm about. Micro habits, small, itty bitty changes leading up to big results, because when we bite off more than we can chew, it feels like failure. And from Tampa, florida, I'm sorry I don't have your name, but I thank you so much for the fan mail, melissa, I'm a physician just stepping into perimenopause and let me just say it doesn't matter how much you think you know, when it starts happening to you, you forget everything. These days I feel like I'm losing my mind. So glad to have found your podcast, so thank you from Tampa, florida. Appreciate the shout out right back at you and you know what I feel the same way, especially when it comes to momming, when it comes to my kids, and, like you said myself, I feel like forget it all. It's all out the window. But here we are, you're not alone and we are in this together.

Speaker 1 4:25

So let's be honest, perimenopause can throw us some emotional curveballs. We're already dealing with those hormonal shifts, feeling overwhelmed, frustrated and maybe even stuck. These emotions can definitely affect how we care for ourselves and prioritize our needs. So, with these juggling of emotions and hormones and the endless demands of motherhood and spousehood, partnerhood, working full time, it feels like your patience is on a hair trigger. You know what I mean, right? You're in the grocery store with your kids, they're starting to have a meltdown and then someone cuts you in line and suddenly you feel that familiar surge of frustration, that tension in your chest bubbling up. Or you're on a call with someone for work, attempting to talk through a scenario that seemed a bit confusing, and the person on the other line suddenly unleashes and verbalizes things in such a negative light, blaming you for inattentiveness and support, when in reality it's kind of the other way around.

Speaker 1 5:26

In the midst of all this, it's easy to forget about grace Grace for ourselves, grace for others. We get frustrated, overwhelmed and sometimes it spills over. Here's a little secret when we extend grace, it creates a ripple effect. We give ourselves a break and that allows us to be more patient with those around us. So, instead of letting your frustrations fuel anger, let's use them to create a sense of community and support and connect with others who may have similar experiences or stories to relate to and can provide feedback and support to you. Remember, we're all human. We're all just living this one life that we were dealt. Now you might be thinking, melissa, what in the world does this have to do with healthy habits? Here's the connection. When you're stuck in a rut due to emotional challenges, it creates this barrier or a wall between you and your motivation to prioritize your self-care. So how do we break down those walls and create a space for things that make us feel better.

Speaker 1 6:38

Let's talk about perimenopause specifically for a second. Those hormonal shifts can definitely impact your perspective. You might find yourself feeling more irritable or short-tempered. Here's the key. It's not your fault. However, it is your responsibility to find healthy ways to manage those emotions. So let's talk about some personal strides that have helped me.

Speaker 1 7:04

Growing up, I dealt with a lot of anger. My parents divorced when I was young and I felt like I was missing out. What I realized later in life is that everyone is dealing with something and your perspective shapes your reality. To be completely honest, I carried this anger through middle school, high school and even college. It was more of an internal feeling that may have seemed like an explosion on the outside when that hair trigger was pulled, and I've done a lot of inner work and I'm still a work in progress.

Navigating Overwhelm With Grace

Speaker 1 7:38

So how do we change perspective? For me, it involves self-reflection, reading self-development books, going to therapy. It's a journey, not a destination, but I learned to create some space of grace for myself. When I'm feeling down, I talk to myself, reminding myself that things could actually be worse. I have a support system and I'm even open about taking medication for my anxiety and OCD tendencies. And that's okay. You have to find what works for you. So the reason I chose this topic for this episode is because of a situation this week that refreshed my realization of how important it is to treat each other with respect, even during our personal struggles.

Speaker 1 8:25

We all experience buildup from internal and external stress. If we don't address it with healthy coping strategies, those areas of negativity can bleed into other parts of our lives. So how do we break free from those negative emotions and see things with a clearer head? Here are three tips that have worked for me. And number one you'll hear me talk about a lot naps. In one way, it feels like I'm using it as an escape, but when really, a simple power nap does allow me to process things better than when I'm feeling tired or emotional. So give yourself permission to rest and recharge.

Speaker 1 9:08

Number two movement. A quick workout, a walk outside or throwing a few punches can help release tension and improve your mood. I don't mean physically punching someone, but have you ever tried taking a pillow or a towel and slamming it on the ground and repeating that over and over? It's actually a powerful release and adds some intense abdominal engagement while you're at it. Exercise is a natural mood booster. So go for a walk, hit up the gym or throw on some music and dance it out in the house.

Speaker 1 9:46

Number three feel your feels. Music is a powerful tool for processing emotions. Finding a song that resonates with your emotions can be a powerful way to validate your feelings and release them in a healthy way. Going back to my anger growing up I found emotional release through listening to some pretty heavy headbanger. That's not me anymore. When I hear that music now it actually gives me anxiety. Now I'm more of a Imagine Dragons, sia, coldplay, sir Sly kind of playlist. So find some music and play it out, dance it out, listen it out.

Speaker 1 10:27

Let's move on to some things about what not to do when you're feeling overwhelmed. Here's three things. Number one don't stay in the drama. Remove yourself from that heated situation to cool down. Before reacting, take a deep breath and come back to it later. Number two ditch the stress eating.

Speaker 1 10:48

I know it's easier said than done. We all have our comfort foods, but emotional eating can lead to worse problems down the line, especially when you have a sweet tooth, like me, and chocolate. It will only make you feel crappier. My latest sweet tooth pick that doesn't feel so crappy is a bowl of fresh fruit mixed with a dollop of Greek yogurt and a squirt of Reddiwhip on top with a few mini marshmallows Delicious. And number three, avoid the social media comparison trap. Curated feeds on your social media can make you feel like everyone else has it together, but it doesn't show the full picture. Remember that everyone has their struggles.

Speaker 1 11:34

The key is to approach these moments with grace Grace for ourselves, grace for our kids and even the person who cut in line or unleashed with you on the phone. Okay, okay, maybe not right then, but you get the idea. Perimenopause can heighten our emotional responses, making grace even more important. When we extend grace, we create that space for understanding and compassion. We can acknowledge that everyone is dealing with their own battles, even if they're not visible on the surface. Things you will always find from me are honesty, a listening ear and a dig for that silver lining Because there is one, we just have to find it. And quality over quantity. Remember, perimonopause is a journey and treating yourself and others with grace is one of the golden keys. By prioritizing self-care and finding healthy coping strategies, we all can build a more supportive and positive environment. Together, you are strong. Together, you are strong, capable and amazing. Say it out loud to yourself right now I am strong, capable and amazing.