020- Celebrating Milestones: Don't Wait until 60 to Start Building Your Future

Celebrate the 20th episode of Smash the Crash Podcast with Melissa as she reflects on her 20 year old self. This episode covers 20 insights that span from what she wishes her 20-year-old self knew to what she hopes for her 60-year-old self. 

Key Takeaways:

1. The Power of Hindsight: Gain valuable insights from Melissa's reflections on her 20s and how they can help you navigate your own life stages.
2. Building a Fulfilling Future: Discover strategies for setting goals, prioritizing self-care, and cultivating healthy relationships.
3. Living in the Present: Embrace the importance of mindfulness and learn how to appreciate the "happy and the joy" in everyday life.

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Disclaimer:  I am not a medical doctor. The information and recommendations provided during our coaching sessions are intended to support your overall health and wellness and are not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment. Always consult with your physician before making any changes to your medication, treatment plan, or if you have any concerns about your health. 

Transcript

Reflecting on 20 Years

Speaker 1 2:28

Hi everyone and welcome to Smash the Crash Podcast. I am extremely excited for this episode, specifically because this is my 20th posted episode and 20 is holding kind of a significant has a significance to me this year and I will explain that in just a second. But here we are on the 20th episode of my podcast and that is 20 weeks worth of episodes. Hopefully you find that I'm getting a little bit better over time. I feel like if you go back to my first few episodes, while the information might be valuable, I think I feel like I sound well like a tool. But here we are, 20 episodes later.

Speaker 1 3:20

So the reason why 20 is so significant to me this year really is for a few reasons. Number one my dad and I are 20 years apart. I turned 40 in just a few weeks and this year is a year where both my dad and I have hit or are hitting a milestone birthday, so measured in increments of 20. So happy 60th birthday, dad. We're a few months late, but herein lies my significant of 20. My husband and I met 20 years ago. We actually just celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary and I'm bewildered. 20 years ago, that literally is having spent half of my life with my husband. All good things, all good things.

Speaker 1 4:20

So, to continue on this 20 significance theme, I'm dedicating this episode to sharing 20 things 10 things I wish my 20-year-old self knew back then and 10 things I want for my 60-year-old self. This list I'm sure if I kept on sitting and writing I would think of so many more than 10 things, but I don't want to bore you with the little intricacies of things from my life. But we'll get the picture. I wish my 20-year-old self knew to stop worrying so much about what others thought. Forget the current fad, what's currently in style, wear what's comfortable, forget the makeup. You're beautiful just the way you are. And who gives a flying chicken about those gray hairs? Yes, they started showing up when I was 18, 19,. But be the trendsetter. You know the OG. If my kids were in this room right now, they would totally be saying mom, you're so cringe.

Speaker 1 5:33

Control what you can control and let go of those things outside of your control. It's a hard task. I still find myself having struggles with it. But knowing better, you do better. Perfection, my friend, is a fallacy, unrealistic standards you set for yourself that doesn't do anything good for you, for your self-confidence or your feelings of empowerment. So be perfectly imperfect. It's okay to talk to a specialist, a counselor, a therapist. In fact, you are stronger for stepping outside of your comfort zone and for doing so. And if you don't feel like you have a good connection with the one you're meeting with, keep trying until you find someone that jives with you.

Speaker 1 6:26

20-year-old self friend nursing school is way harder than the real world. You won't fail the tests or the state boards and even if you do fail, what is failing? F-a-i-l, it's simply your first attempt in learning. Speaking of failure, it does not define who you are. It is simply a challenge, a roadblock, an obstacle or a detour to bring you back to the path that you are meant to be on. Those moments of binging chocolate will eventually catch up with you. Start practicing mindful snacking now. Your body might bounce back after your first child, but after your second I'm not so sure about that.

Speaker 1 7:15

Just to share a little bit of my second. Pregnancy came with huge cravings for Wawa's French vanilla cappuccino, or, as my friend calls it, melissa's cappuccino yeah, you know what I mean and McDonald's egg McMuffins. My second son. He arrived into this world via the baby hole at nine pounds and four ounces. And while I think that this labor and delivery was actually better than my first one, it was because the epidural was amazing, but the nurse had to literally jump on top of me and push on my stomach while the doctor was pulling because his shoulder got stuck. Good news everything was a-okay. But I don't know, maybe a little bit too much on the McMuffins. And here, at 10 years old, he is my little snacker. Every time we go anywhere, he takes his and this is what he calls it his cinch bag arsenal of snacks.

Speaker 1 8:16

Do not take time with your family and loved ones for granted. Every day is a gift. Do not squander it. Life is incredibly short, so live it full and with purpose. That actually reminds me of the time I went to Costa Rica in 2018. I was in my 20s before my wedding and I just really enjoyed how the locals there just had this really upbeat attitude perspective. We're so kind and Pura Vida, costa Rica, living life to its fullest. Hence the tattoo I got on my foot when we got back because I really felt touched.

Speaker 1 9:13

All right, I think we're on number nine. I think I lost track, I don't know. The next one is budget Meet with a financial advisor. This is kind of embarrassing to say, but you know what? As much as my mom did teach me how to spend and track checkbooking money and all that, I feel like there was definitely some stuff I was trying to fill a void with by purchasing and that did not come without repercussions Right, start a physical activity routine. It doesn't have to be anything crazy or time-consuming, but it will make it easier to get through pregnancy, post-pregnancy and even beyond.

Speaker 1 9:55

And lastly, sleep is not overrated. If you knew me back in my 20s, you probably heard me say several times sleep is overrated. I'll sleep when I'm gone, hence many nights at the 24-hour Walmart just because and those last minute 2 am college papers that are due the next day. Yada, yada, yada. Please tell me I'm not alone in this. All right, I think that might have been 11, but those are the 10 things that I came up with.

Speaker 1 10:26

I wish my 20-year-old self would know, because my soon-to-be 40-year-old self has learned quite a bit in 20 years. But well, we live and we learn, don't we? And here I am today, finding myself telling my kids the same things my mother used to say you know what's that? Commercial for an insurance company? It's like turning into your parents. It's so true, hilariously embarrassing, but kind of true. And every year I get older, I feel like the years go by faster. And why is that? I mean, we are definitely in a world of hurry, hurry, rush, rush, and slowing down can be challenging, but I'm also getting a really good night's sleep, so maybe that's why and let's remember that hindsight is always 20-20.

Setting Goals for Midlife Success

Speaker 1 11:12

So, while we can look back and think of the things we would like to tell ourselves, our 20-year-old self, our 30-year-old self, whatever, just know that we are not here to regret, to regret. We're going to use that knowledge that we have built since that time and we can use that as guidance for our friends, our family and our children, and for ourselves moving forward, because we can't change the past. We can change today and forward. So here are 10 things I wish for my six-year-old self and I'm sticking to things that are relatively in my control To be energetic and physically and mentally capable for my kids and possible grandkids. To continue to schedule routine dates with my husband, my friends, my kids for quality one-on-one time. To maintain relationships with those that are most important to me. To take breaks when needed and schedule time for self-care. To not require medication that has anything related to blood sugar, cholesterol or high blood pressure, to travel without worry of money, to continue to teach my kids and possible grandkids that it doesn't matter how one looks on the outside, it's what's on the inside that counts. I would love to retire early to enjoy this one life, and that really starts now living each day to its fullest, finding the happy and the joy and the silver linings in all the little things and showing grace and compassion to others, because they will follow suit.

Speaker 1 12:53

You ever see that movie? Pay it Forward. My God, it's a tearjerker. I actually should sit down with my kids and watch that. I haven't seen that in years. But that's just what it made me think of. And it's not. It's to not look back and wish I took my own advice. So I don't want to be 60 looking back and listening to this podcast episode if it's even still around by then and wishing to myself that I had took my own advice. And lastly, start now. And lastly, start now At almost 40, enough dreaming of the future. It's okay to dream, but we need to focus on what is right here right now, what is right in front of me.

Speaker 1 13:38

So, as I say these wishes for my six-year-old self out loud. I recognize a lot of these things I can act on right now. There's no waiting until 60. By acting on these right now, I will be building a foundation to be able to reach what I see for myself in 20 years. So thinking about how I envision my life in 20 years helps create a game plan on what to start working on right now.

Speaker 1 14:04

This is not a I'm 60 now. Let's do what I wish 20 years ago. No, this is a foundation to look at. What can I put my energy towards right now? What do I need to put my energy towards right now? Do I feel capable of putting my energy towards that right now? And if not, that one thing, maybe a different thing.

Speaker 1 14:24

What fits into my current daily, weekly, monthly priorities? Pick one thing, just one thing. Where do you see yourself in 20 years? Is it what you are doing now? Is what you're doing now setting yourself up for that success in your future? And if not, what are the things that may need to change, what is in your control and what feels achievable and that's where you should start. Break it down into smaller steps. Again, getting back into my theme of micro habits. We have a bigger goal or ambition, but what's going to get us there and how do we break that down into much, much smaller, manageable steps? Does midlife currently feel like a train wreck? Are you not sure where to start?

Speaker 1 15:11

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