Mini-Pause: The Art of Saying No: Self-Care Strategies for Perimenopause

No matter what season of year it is; It's the season for you to set boundaries and take advantage of the power of saying "no."

Learn how to navigate the social demands of summer while prioritizing self-care and managing perimenopausal symptoms.

Key Takeaways:

Prioritize Self-Care: Set boundaries and say no to activities that drain your energy, allowing you to focus on self-care and recharge.
Plan Strategically: Balance social commitments with rest and relaxation to avoid burnout.
Embrace the Power of No: Learn how to politely decline invitations without feeling guilty or obligated.

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Disclaimer:  I am not a medical doctor. The information and recommendations provided during our coaching sessions are intended to support your overall health and wellness and are not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment. Always consult with your physician before making any changes to your medication, treatment plan, or if you have any concerns about your health. 

Transcript

Navigating Self-Care in Perimenopause

Speaker 1 2:28

I'm so excited to introduce to you the mini pause series . Moving forward , I will be sprinkling in some episodes from the past . These are some of the top rated , most listened to . Or what I feel in my gut needs to be put back out into the universe again A chance for you to pause and listen to something you may have already heard before and may need to hear again . It's kind of like that movie , a Blast from the Past , except you are the main character , rediscovering yourself while stepping into this new world of perimenopause .

Speaker 1 3:04

So take a deep breath , prop up your feet and get cozy . I'm already over here , snuggled with my lap blanket on , and let's dive back in together . Hey , and it's that time of year Warmer weather , longer daylight , woohoo , more time outdoors , fresh air , vitamin D I can smell it . Spring has already been the air . All of my flowers have bloomed . My trees that blossom have now turned into leaves , which is kind of a bummer . But hey , we're not in winter anymore .

Speaker 1 3:41

But this time of year often brings a change in schedules and routines . Today we're talking about the magic of no saying no . Kids are out of school , social gatherings ramp up with cookouts and pool parties and those endless invitations . It's time to soak up the sun and enjoy the outdoors . But for women in perimenopause , saying yes to everything can feel overwhelming Hot flashes that intensify when you're outside in the heat and the constant activity can leave you feeling drained . So how do you navigate this summer social scene while prioritizing self-care ?

Speaker 1 4:23

Here are some thoughts . Be honest with yourself and about your energy levels . Don't feel pressured or obligated to attend every event . It's perfectly okay to politely decline invitations if you need some downtime . Plan your yeses strategically . If there's a specific pool party you're excited about , politely decline others . Pace yourself throughout the summer .

Speaker 1 4:54

Embrace the power of the afternoon nap If the daytime heat makes you feel sluggish or the outdoor sun right just zaps you , but hey , you're outside getting fresh air . Take a short nap . Schedule some quiet time , relaxation time in the afternoon . But remember to hydrate , hydrate , hydrate . We talked about this last week . Staying hydrated is crucial for regulating body temperature and preventing fatigue , especially during hot weather , and even more so when we're in perimenopause . A good rule of thumb would be drinking half of your body weight in ounces of water a day , starting off the day with a glass of water just to kickstart your hydration right off the bat , because you know when we're sleeping , we're sweating , we're exhaling and we lose water that way .

Speaker 1 5:55

Also , on the summer social scene prioritizing self-care by communicating your needs . Explain to your friends and family that you might need to take breaks during outings or suggest activities that might be a little bit more low-key , like an evening picnic in the shade or a bonfire in the dark . Those are one of my favorites . But make your own summer traditions . Make sure you're creating a relaxing summer ritual you enjoy , like reading a book in the hammock or having a solo morning coffee on the porch or with your chickens , or taking a refreshing evening walk . Here in the Hinman household we like to have evening fire , pit fires , sit outside as it gets dark , roast some s'mores I actually prefer to have a really burnt marshmallow with all the extras and just stare into that fire of destiny . The boys usually wait for the fireflies to come out and we catch a few and then end the fire with which child gets to spray the fire with a hose before we go back inside . But remember , summer is a time to enjoy yourself , but it's also a time to pride towards your well-being . Saying no to some things allows you room and energy to say yes to others that truly fill your cup and for you to feel your best . If you're new to this podcast , welcome .

Speaker 1 7:25

Perimenopause is the several years leading up to menopause where your body starts transitioning from regular menstrual cycles to eventually stopping ovulation altogether , and this can last several years , because our estrogen levels are fluctuating during this time and it can wreak havoc on your entire system . It sounds a little dramatic , but you might experience those hot flashes and night sweats , brain fog , fatigue , anxiety , mood swings , and all of this can leave you feeling drained and overwhelmed . This is where self-care comes , your lifeline . It allows you to prioritize your well-being , to replenish your energy and create a sense of calm amidst any hormonal chaos . But so often we say yes to everything we feel obligated to do , leaving little to no time to ourselves , and that's when the power of saying no comes in . Saying no allows you to set boundaries both with yourself and others , and allows you to prioritize tasks that actually nourish you and say no to things that drain your energy .

Speaker 1 8:41

Admit it , saying no can be really hard . You worry about what the other person may think or feel and you worry about having FOMO . So how can you start to say no ? And here we're going to dive into some few micro habits that you can incorporate throughout your summer to say no when it's not a resounding yes . Number one start small . We don't have to try and say no to everything . Begin with small requests that feel manageable . Maybe it's declining an extra shift at work or politely saying no to some social engagements that don't really excite you . If it's a resounding yes , then yes . If it's not a resounding yes , then plan to say no .

Speaker 1 9:31

And I have to put this out here . This is not necessarily a summer thing for me , but this literally happened within the last 24 , 48 hours . One of my friends from high school reached out to me . We kind of reconnected over the last couple of weeks and honestly there was no bad blood at all . It was just life right , having families and life and not living in the same area anymore . And she reached out to me and she's like Melissa , you know that we both turned 40 in the fall . We should do something together . And here we are , 48 hours later and we've booked a cruise for the fall , seven nights away from the family to celebrate our 40th birthday together Just two moms taking a break and that to me , was a resounding yes . I honestly had no hesitation . All right , I digress .

Speaker 1 10:25

But when you say no , you want to be polite but firm . You don't have to justify your no , you don't have to explain yourself away . No is no , a simple thanks for inviting me , but I don't think I'm able to make it works just fine . And with my closer friends , I'm just honest . I'm usually like yeah , this sounds really fun , but I'm really just not feeling it at this time , or I've had a long week . I just want to stay home and veg out .

Speaker 1 10:56

But you can also offer an alternative . Sometimes a no can soften the blow with a yes later . For example , if a friend wants to meet you for dinner but you're not up to it , say that sounds really great , I'm not up to it . But how about we do coffee on such and such a date ? Or how about we do breakfast on such and such a date ? I like to call them mom dates . Ask my friends . We go to Brewster's for a mom date . We'll go to breakfast for a mom date , or maybe a mom date out , just for like a drink or two to catch up . But my mom friends know what I mean when I am offering want to go on a mom date this weekend . I don't care if it's a trip to Costco or Target to drop off Target returns . Sometimes you just need to get out of the house and away from the kids just for a period of time , to have some connection with other people that really fill your cup .

Speaker 1 11:59

Now , self-care is not just about saying no . It's about actively nurturing ourselves . Here are five simple activities you can incorporate into your daily routines . One prioritize sleep . You want to aim for seven to nine hours of quality sleep each night , developing a relaxing bedtime routine . To wind down before bed , it's recommended to stay off screens for the hour before bedtime , but I'd be a liar if I said I actually followed that . I can say , though , that we don't have a TV in our bedroom . My bedroom really is just for sleeping in quiet time . Otherwise , I'm never in there . Thankfully , I don't usually have any issues falling asleep If I make it to bed before I turn into a pumpkin on the couch .

Speaker 1 12:50

Number two move your body . Yes , we've talked about this before . We need to get our steps in . We need to have some movement , but exercise is a powerful mood booster . Find an activity that you enjoy and what enjoy , whether it's walking , yoga , swimming , dancing , strength training in for at least 30 minutes most days of the week . Let me add that housework counts . Vacuuming , no , not the Roomba running itself , that doesn't count , but good try . But carrying that laundry basket up and down the stairs pushing a vacuum dusting ? If you listened to the last episode , you know that this is really not my area of movement , because my laundry stays on the couch downstairs .

Practicing Self-Care During Perimenopause

Speaker 1 13:42

Number three practice relaxation techniques . Mindfulness practices like deep breathing meditation can significantly reduce stress and anxiety . Apps like Calm or Headspace offer guided meditations for beginners . You could also try box breathing . I actually learned this from one of the trainers on the online platform that I use for workouts . Think of a virtual box , see , you see the square and you start at one corner and you take a deep , slow , deep breath for six seconds and then , when you get to the six seconds , you hold it for six seconds and then you exhale for six seconds and then you hold it for six seconds and then you complete the box . I have found this method actually to be very helpful in moments of stress . You know the kind of stress when you feel like your chest is tightening and maybe your heart starts beating a little bit faster . Do that a couple times you can actually feel your mind and your body relaxing .

Speaker 1 14:55

Number four nourishing your body with good , wholesome food . Focus on whole , unprocessed foods that are fruits and vegetables and whole grains and lean proteins , and remember focusing on a minimum of 100 grams of protein a day . And number five connecting with your loved ones . Surround yourself with supportive people who make you feel good . Again , you do need to take that time away if you aren't feeling up to it , but make sure you're spending time with friends and family who understand you , who understand your story , who can relate , who don't make you feel like you're being judged , who make you feel good just for being you and who can get you out for an outing if you've done a 180 and you're saying no all the time , because you know there's extremes on both ends , and I do have a friend across the street who has said Melissa , just come on out for like an hour . You've been in the house all week and I know it's been a long week , but just an hour and , honestly , those things do fill your cup too .

Speaker 1 16:11

Small changes can make a huge difference . Taking time for yourself is not selfish . It's essential by setting boundaries , prioritizing self-care and embracing the power of no , you can navigate perimenopause and midlife and this summer with more grace and ease . So this was a long one , my friends . I was really feeling the no this week , which is why I chose to go with this episode , but I want you to think about what you have going on in your summer . Moving forward . My kids are done with school in , I believe , 10 days and routines are going to change and I know it takes a little bit of time feeling like you had to get into a different routine if you're in summer camps or if they're going to be home during the summer instead and running around to different activities than you normally do for this school . But let's think about ways that you can say no if it's not a resounding yes , being polite , offering an alternative , but making time for yourself to prioritize sleep , movement , relaxation , good food and connection with others .