035- Stop Starting Over: Redefining Your Finish Line for Sustainable Energy

Tired of the Monday morning restarts that fizzle out by Wednesday? This episode explores why you might be stuck in a cycle of starting over and offers a powerful approach to redefine your personal "feeling good" to create sustainable change.

Key Takeaways:

1. Redefine "Feeling Good": Stop chasing vague goals and identify what tangible "good" looks and feels like for you right now in your current life.
2. Identify Your Green Zone: Understand your sustainable energy zone to make choices and build routines from a place of balance, not burnout.
3. Create Your "Feel Good" List: Define concrete, real-life indicators of well-being to create a realistic and achievable personal finish line.

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Disclaimer:  I am not a medical doctor. The information and recommendations provided during our coaching sessions are intended to support your overall health and wellness and are not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment. Always consult with your physician before making any changes to your medication, treatment plan, or if you have any concerns about your health. 

Transcript

Welcome to Smash the Crash

Speaker 1 2:28

Hey, hey, and welcome back to Smash the Crash, the podcast for midlife women, juggling all things and secretly wondering why am I so freaking tired all the time? I'm your host, melissa Hinman, health coach, midlife navigator and energy wrangler. And today, well, we're going to talk about starting over. If you're tired of starting over, maybe it's time that we redefine the finish line. All right? So if you've ever caught yourself saying, this Monday, this Monday, I'm going to meet my calorie goal, or this Monday, I'm going to get eight hours of sleep every single night, and to get eight hours of sleep every single night and I'm going to do it right, and then by Wednesday, you feel like you're back into the old routine and that your energy is already tanked again. And then you're like all right, next Monday, next Monday is when we'll start. So let me just say that you are not alone Again. You are not broken. You are just working with the wrong definition of success, because if you don't know what feeling good actually means for you anymore, how the heck are you supposed to know if you're getting there? How are you supposed to know if you're making progress? So let's make this real. I'm going to tell you about a time where I was trying to meet a finish line that no longer served me or no longer was aligned with my day to day goals and energy. Perfect example for me to provide to you is this actual podcast.

Speaker 1 4:04

So a year ago, in April April 2024, I had the grand idea of starting a podcast because I really wanted to support women who are in similar circumstances as me midlife working a full time career, maybe also raising a family, having aging parents, we have pets that we're taking care of, we have hobbies that we want to enjoy and just all the things right. And then we have unplanned events like, okay, all that stuff. And so at the time when I brought out this podcast, I was recording to post a new episode every single week, and in the beginning it felt really good because I felt like I had a lot to say and I really just wanted to get it out there and into the world. But after a while it almost it felt like me recording for this podcast was draining me, draining my energy, because it no longer became something I was excited to do but felt like I had to do. So what I did is I redefined my finish line when it came to podcast recording.

The Problem With Vague Goals

Speaker 1 5:16

I made the decision to change this podcast to every other week. That's twice a month. I can handle two times a month. I'm still working a full-time job and I still have kids in elementary school and middle school. I still have things I like to do on my personal time my animals, all that stuff. So I have been recording podcasts and posting podcasts every other week now for multiple months and this feels good for me. Now I know this has nothing to do with the foods I'm eating or the sleep I'm getting, which is a lot of what I talk about, because that's part of the five key elements. But it's not just about what we're putting in or out of our body, right, but making decisions in our life that feels aligned with what we want, what we envision and what we see for ourselves in the future. So hopefully you understand the analogy with my podcast. Here I am recording for my first posting in May and this feels good, this feels aligned. So that is my redefined finish line.

Speaker 1 6:22

So let's talk about the whole starting over thing. I didn't necessarily start over on the podcast. I just tweaked it to redefine what felt aligned for my energy capacity and my life with my kids. And it's not about being unmotivated, and I wasn't lazy, and it wasn't even lack of discipline. It was just a place of misalignment. So you're following your plans that were designed for your season, maybe in the past, but maybe are not aligned with your current season, your current energy levels or your actual life at this time.

Speaker 1 6:55

So when that shiny new routine becomes too much to maintain, you crash. Then you cue the guilt spiral, cue the why am I sticking with anything? Self-talk, I can't stick with anything right. And then another whole round of money morning maybes just starts all over. And the sad truth is most women I talk to don't even know what quote unquote feeling good really looks like for them anymore, Because they just don't feel like themselves. They know they're tired, baby foggy, feeling irritable, so much going on and it just feels like too much. So they start chasing vague goals like I want to have more energy. Yes, we all do. We all want to have more energy. I want to lose weight? Okay, that's great too. I want to feel like myself again.

Building Your New Finish Line

Speaker 1 7:51

Not sure what that is, but let's redefine it. But there's no destinations. I'm sorry, those are destinations with no map. So it's like putting somewhere better that's what you're searching for into your GPS or Google Maps and expecting Google or Siri to just figure out what that place is. And this is where you want to pause and initiate a pivot. So, instead of chasing a feeling that you had from 10 years ago, think about where you were 10 years ago I was 30. I just had my second kid but define what good looks and feels like for you right now, in your current body, in your current schedule, in your current day-to-day and current responsibilities. So let's build that finish line Now. I say finish line, but the finish line is not always the finish. We don't get there and we're like done right, the finish line will probably pivot, it will probably move, it will tweak, it will morph, because we are human beings who are growing and evolving and thriving and having new experiences that lead to different things, different thoughts, different values, different versions of what we see for ourselves in the future, but building a finish line in your current life as you are right now, today. And so here's a few prompts for you to start thinking about what your own midlife vision is for you as you are today.

Speaker 1 9:25

Your new good quote, unquote good. What would a regular Tuesday feel like if things were working well enough. What does energy feel like in your body? Not hype, but sustainable focus and presence. Consider this your green energy zone, your flow, your space of homeostasis. I can stay in this zone for a long time, and if you're a runner, you could equate that to I'm running in a race, but I'm maintaining a pace where I'm able to hold a conversation. And then another question would be what do you not want anymore? Maybe it's saying yes to things that you don't really want to say yes to, but you feel guilty by even thinking about saying no. Maybe it's you running for that vending machine snack at three o'clock because you feel like you're crashing. And then you're second guessing every food choice that you ever made that day or that week or that month. What's the version of peace that feels real for you? We don't need a full-blown transformation. You just need a clear, grounded vision of what quote-unquote good enough is looks like, so you can stop defaulting to the all or nothing mindset and the start-stop loops.

Creating Your "Feel Good" List

Speaker 1 11:05

If you haven't listened yet to the episode on energy mapping, go back, bookmark it, save it so you can go back to listen to it. And it's where I talk about how to recognize your green, your yellow and your red zones before you crash or burn out, because most of the time we don't fail. We just keep trying to build momentum from a yellow zone where you're functional but teetering on the edge of burnout and fried, and then we wonder why what we've chosen to change doesn't actually stick. So when you go back to redefine your current finish line, I want you to ask yourself those midlife questions. In a moment of time when you feel like you are in your green zone, yellow zone and most certainly not red zone, are not the times to be making choices, to be making changes to what you will or will not do in your days moving forward. So this week, I want you to sit down, take five minutes max and make your this is what feeling good means to me list.

Small Honest Shifts for Real Change

Speaker 1 12:18

You can use Pinterest if you need to, but no Pinterest perfection, just real life indicators. And these indicators could be something like I'm going to sleep through the night without waking up drenched, or I don't want to lose my cool before 8am in the morning, or I want to have the mental capacity in my brain to remember my appointments, remember where I put my glasses, remember where I put my car keys. Side note. You can use your calendar too. One of my good friends, laura, teaches about time management and I will never forget when taking her course about time management. I will never forget when taking her course about time management is that you need to have your calendar be what carries your mental load. So totally tagging her out in here, laura, thanks for that. And I feel calm, not chaotic, at dinnertime. That could be another intention or what a feel good list is, but this list is your rules and once you define that finish line, we can start to stop running in circles.

Speaker 1 13:30

So if you need help figuring out what's really draining you on your day-to-day, one of the places to start would be the Energy Tune-Up Tracker, and it's the best no-pressure place to start. It's totally free, totally doable, and it'll help you spot what might need adjusting before you crash again. Reminder this contains five key foundational elements to energy. The links are in the show notes, so go grab it. It's free, you don't want to miss out on it.

Speaker 1 13:57

And hey, why not say yes to yourself today? Say yes, just grab the energy tracker. I will be popping in your email inbox to check in to see how you're doing with using it. I'll also send out a video snippet of how to use it. And I just want you to remember, friend, that this is your reminder that starting over isn't necessarily a problem, but starting wrong is. So you don't necessarily need a full reset, you just need a real plan that fits into your real life. Feeling good is. It's not a fantasy, but it's just a series of small, honest shifts, and it starts with knowing what you are currently aiming for. So you've got this, my friend. I'm cheering you on.