Immersion
A search for how to live a meaningful life in the modern world by applying psychology and philosophy. Let’s dive 30 minutes beneath the surface each Sunday together. | Hosted by Pamela Carey
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Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional or licensed psychologist
Immersion
You Don’t Need to Be "Fully Healed" to Date (For the Anxiously Attached)
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Ever feel like the second dating gets stressful, anxious, or overwhelming, your only option is to hit pause and retreat? While taking space is completely valid, true relational growth actually happens in connection with others - not just sitting alone in a room meditating.
In this episode, we explore how to actively work on yourself while staying in the dating game. By leaning into attachment theory and creating safe, corrective experiences, we can use the dating process as a powerful mirror for healing, rather than something we constantly need to escape from.
What We Cover In This Episode:
- Maintaining Your Life: Keeping your anchor in your friends, health, spirituality, and hobbies instead of letting a new connection swallow you whole.
- Upholding Standards & Boundaries: How to stay true to your values in real-time.
- Detaching from the Outcome: Shifting your focus from "is this my person?" to a much simpler question: "Do I want to see them again?"
- Lowering the Stakes: Remaining curious and letting the process unfold naturally.
- Somatic Awareness: Getting out of your hypervigilant mind and learning to be present in your body and your feelings.
💛 A Gentle Reminder:
Growth happens on the field, but safety comes first. This approach is best practiced with a solid support system or in therapy. Always listen to your inner wisdom too - taking care of yourself is the priority and taking time off when you genuinely need it is also key.
Episodes I mentioned as good follow-ups after this:
- Part 1 on Limerence: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2318937/episodes/19411931
- Part 2 on Limerence: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2318937/episodes/19445097
- Playlist for the whole self-worth series on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPJBR0a3Yz6vsH5TkuPFtd2b7YgbL11OG
Resources:
- Heidi Priebe's channel - highly recommend her content on attachment styles in particular! https://www.youtube.com/@heidipriebe1
- Attached - Book by Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller - an often-cited book in the field on attachment theory
- Complex Trauma Podcast by Sarah Herstich - a therapist who describes healing from complex trauma in her podcast, which you can look up on your favorite podcast player.
- Tim's channel has great work on aspects such as codependency and self-worth: https://www.youtube.com/c/TimFletcher
- Psychology in Seattle is a podcast by a therapist - you can find his work on personality, attachment, etc. Some of his more recent work includes reaction episodes to shows, but you can go to some of his older work if that is not your thing :)
Instagram - we will be posting here soon
