Achieving Life Balance In A Crazy World

Life balance. How do we get it and why does it feel so elusive? In this podcast episode we’ll break down why it’s so important to address life balance, why it feels impossible to achieve and reveal some common misconceptions. 

Most importantly though we’ll explain why life balance doesn’t actually exist and how it can make us even more stressed chasing after it! As always, we’ll wrap up by giving you a four pillar holistic framework to regain control, be kinder to yourself and find more joy again.

James' book The Midlife Male Handbook is now available:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Midlife-Male-Handbook-Thriving-Andropause/dp/0912106395

It's also available at Waterstones & WHSmith...

The Midlife Male Handbook available now:
Amazon
Waterstones
WH Smith

Please remember, if you find the show helpful or it makes you laugh, motivates and inspires you - please do like, share and rate us. We don't run ads on the podcast or for the show, because we want to keep it as enjoyable for you to listen as possible. So if you can help us spread the word, we'd be incredibly grateful.

For more information about The Midlife Mentors, click the below link:
https://linktr.ee/themidlifementors.com

Tik Tok: @themidlifementors
IG: @midlifementors

Transcript

1
00:00:03.430 --> 00:00:28.429
The Midlife Mentors: Hello, and welcome to another episode of the midlife mentors with me James and me. Claire, how are you all hope you're well? Hope you are. Well, yes, yes. What we've been up to your book came out today. My book is out today is in the shops. Well, I don't know if it is actually just haven't been out out and about, we're going to be really honest with you. James actually hasn't got a copy himself yet, but it has actually got. We've been told it's yeah. That it's out

2
00:00:28.430 --> 00:00:53.410
The Midlife Mentors: informed is in the warehouse, and has been distributed waterstones and on Amazon. Yes, so very, very excited for you, and then you've got your launch party coming up as well launch party in a couple of weeks. I've already done a couple of radio shows the last couple of days. So yeah, exciting time. And actually, I am. Well, I'm not whisking James away. James has actually booked it. But we're going.

3
00:00:53.410 --> 00:01:06.659
The Midlife Mentors: Go away for a night tomorrow night, just because you've had a lot going on. You've been holding a lot and very overwhelmed. So we need a bit of change of scenery, I think, yeah, definitely be nice. Just to step out of our everyday. Yeah.

4
00:01:06.730 --> 00:01:29.330
The Midlife Mentors: 24 h, which actually leads us nicely onto what we want to talk about today, because we're going to talk today about creating a healthy, balanced lifestyle in this crazy, fast, paced world. And we are going to talk about environment as part of that. But this has really been inspired by me doing a workshop with the charity mind. This was a identical workshop that I went through with them last week.

5
00:01:29.620 --> 00:01:53.419
The Midlife Mentors: which was very, very honored to do very exciting piece of work. So when James and I were talking about what podcast subject we wanted to talk about today, we were like, okay, well, why don't we just sorry. That's my email pinging in the background? Why don't we just actually take them through this workshop? That I did because it was very well received. People loved it so. And it's so so needed, because I think so many people are struggling with balance, I said to Claire, actually.

6
00:01:53.420 --> 00:02:18.369
The Midlife Mentors: I was out and about yesterday. I said, I don't know if people just like losing their minds slightly, because, there's 2 guys, 1st one on a train out to a radio interview and he got on. He was stunk of boozing. He was just like chatting to himself and swearing. But then, when I got back home again, which was only like half 4 in the afternoon, there's a guy on the left singing away with his can of Stella.

7
00:02:18.370 --> 00:02:31.390
The Midlife Mentors: I thought, wow! People are just kind of melting down. Well, it's it's no surprise given the way everything is in the world melted down. We just had a client. We're helping her set up retreats. One of the other things that we do is help!

8
00:02:31.470 --> 00:02:57.159
The Midlife Mentors: Help people set up retreats, help them with their businesses. Actually. And this has been a sideline thing that we've been doing on the choir that we absolutely love. So she's setting up. She's based over in the Us. And obviously we were talking a lot about what's going on over in the Us. And how everyone's losing their mind over there. So this is very, very, very, very relevant is create. How do we control what we can control, create a healthy, balanced lifestyle in a fast paced world. And

9
00:02:57.380 --> 00:03:20.499
The Midlife Mentors: as a segue, we're going to actually share with you how the word balance is actually really misinterpreted. There is no way that we can create, keep complete balance in our lives. So we're going to actually talk you through some of the misconceptions around life balance. Why it's so important. And then we're going to give you, as we always do, some 4 tools transformation so that we can really

10
00:03:20.500 --> 00:03:44.909
The Midlife Mentors: control the controllables. Yeah, really keep that kind of like life harmony rather than life balance. So yeah, what we want you to do is to be able to take away. Well, firstly bring some compassion, because sometimes we'll look at everyone else going. Oh, my goodness, they've got all of their shit together! They've got it all together. They have. They somehow managed to keep all the balls in the air without dropping like they. They just don't.

11
00:03:44.910 --> 00:03:48.450
The Midlife Mentors: So we want to help you bring some self compassion to your life

12
00:03:48.650 --> 00:04:10.020
The Midlife Mentors: in this crazy world, show you where you might be over complicating things, where there's some mistakes that you might be making some misconceptions. Consider really, as you go through this as a time of reflection, where you might be a bit out of whack what you can do. And, as we said, it's all about those action steps and those strategies, so simple tools to bring about greater life harmony.

13
00:04:10.020 --> 00:04:22.419
The Midlife Mentors: So why do we need balance in our lives? Well, quite simply. A lack of balance is going to make us stressed. And if we allow it to continue eventually, it's going to lead to burnout. So we need to be looking to find that balance so that we

14
00:04:22.420 --> 00:04:40.749
The Midlife Mentors: don't get to that stressed and burnt out state, like I did a couple of years ago. Yeah, like you did. The thing is, it is very hard in today's world, because, although tech is wonderful and it was meant to free us, somebody might argue, it's actually made us slaves to the tech, you know, constant phone notifications, trigger stress hormones such as cortisol.

15
00:04:40.750 --> 00:05:05.200
The Midlife Mentors: And there's some stats here. The average person checks their phone 144 times a day and 83% of workers. Now, check emails outside of work hours. So this is like, always on, always on. And of course that leads to. We know that since Covid anxiety and people signed off work through anxiety and mental health issues has gone up massively. The mental health Uk burnout

16
00:05:05.200 --> 00:05:13.550
The Midlife Mentors: 2025, 91%, 91% of Uk adults reported experiencing high or extreme levels of pressure

17
00:05:13.550 --> 00:05:18.260
The Midlife Mentors: or stress in the past year. I can make a funny comment about

18
00:05:18.690 --> 00:05:21.179
The Midlife Mentors: labour Governments and Rachel Reeves, but I noticed.

19
00:05:21.370 --> 00:05:47.400
The Midlife Mentors: of course, that leads to physical and mental illness, and there is a massive economic and social cost. And it's something that's being looked at. It is seriously, government is looking at this at the moment, because there are record numbers of people signed off sick and receiving benefit and in simple terms. The country simply can't afford it. So there, there is a big societal and economic cost to it.

20
00:05:47.400 --> 00:06:05.000
The Midlife Mentors: It also can affect our own ability to be happy, right? Because we're drawn into this thing of comparison, always looking at everyone else's life, thinking they've got it right. They've got it sussed. When am I going to find my happiness? And that impacts our relationships, our goals, our aspirations, might even just give up right and fall into despondency.

21
00:06:05.000 --> 00:06:28.110
The Midlife Mentors: I'm stressed. People have lower levels of optimism. So let's be positive. Yeah. And also, I think, society's expectations. It's been amazing, particularly I'm going to say, like this, particularly us women right over the last few decades. We've been told that we can have it all. And that's really amazing that we are equal to men which we are. But we have it all.

22
00:06:28.110 --> 00:06:38.740
The Midlife Mentors: But does that mean that we should. You know we are juggling. Unfortunately, you know, particularly for us women we're trying to. We're trying to manage kind of being a mother as well, and all the responsibilities that that

23
00:06:38.740 --> 00:06:50.039
The Midlife Mentors: comes, you know, comes with motherhood. Being a wife, a partner, managing the home and being able to manage that as well as a career

24
00:06:50.542 --> 00:06:55.070
The Midlife Mentors: and and men the same. We're trying to juggle, you know, really a lot of stuff

25
00:06:55.500 --> 00:07:07.840
The Midlife Mentors: in this life. We're told that we should have this, we should have that we should have these material possessions. We should be going for these goals. We should. You know the sky's the limit. You can literally have it all. But unfortunately, with that

26
00:07:08.090 --> 00:07:32.499
The Midlife Mentors: comes with that feeling that we're falling short all the time, you know. Like, if I'm not always on, and I'm not always going for those goals, and I'm not getting up as the sun rises, and tackling this and tackling that, and ticking that off of my to do list, and I'm somehow failing. And that leads to that kind of I feel like that mental, physical, and like that spiritual burnout. It's like I can never get there.

27
00:07:32.560 --> 00:07:42.780
The Midlife Mentors: I'm supposed to be having it all. Everyone else looks like they've got it all. Why can't I make this work and we lose. That takes away our perspective of what's really important.

28
00:07:42.970 --> 00:07:47.490
The Midlife Mentors: And at some point, especially at midlife, we do get to that point where we evaluate

29
00:07:47.680 --> 00:08:01.050
The Midlife Mentors: what's really going on here, and we might have some regrets. We might realize that we've put all of our energy into the wrong pockets, because society told us that we should do that I do feel like midlife. Is that point where we reevaluate

30
00:08:01.704 --> 00:08:28.290
The Midlife Mentors: so I don't know whether any of this sounds familiar to you, but just kind of I suppose this this is really to bring compassion to what you might be experiencing and acknowledging it right? So some of these things might sound familiar to you. You're tired, but you're wired. So you're freaking, exhausted. But you're also wired. That's high levels of stress. We always say the difference between stress and burnout is stress is like going, going, going going, going burnout.

31
00:08:28.580 --> 00:08:41.479
The Midlife Mentors: It's almost like stress is anxiety. Burnout is depression. It's like when I'm burnt out. I literally can't see the point of anything anymore. I am so gone past the point of stress like I can't think, feel. I'm numb.

32
00:08:42.080 --> 00:09:09.599
The Midlife Mentors: So you're tired but wired. That's kind of like the stress you've said yes to things, but it's a resentful yes. Do you really acknowledge that honestly, that's so familiar to us. I've said Yes to something, but I'm resentful now. You find it difficult to maintain healthy habits. Is that like when when we agree to do multiple sessions, a massive exhibition event.

33
00:09:10.170 --> 00:09:26.750
The Midlife Mentors: So we're doing the ideal Home Exhibition we're talking at. Yeah, exactly. I volunteered us. I'd love to be on stage. I was like, I'm going to make it happen. Got it? She was over the moon. And I'm like, right, yeah, we'll just do as many sessions as we can. Then she's like.

34
00:09:26.750 --> 00:09:51.739
The Midlife Mentors: can't believe how many sessions you've committed us to. 7 on 4 different days. Hey? Come, see us? Yeah, yeah. So we are at the. But yeah, you find it difficult to maintain healthy habits because you're constantly on this lack of life balance. You're burning out. You're stressing out. You use TV and social media to switch off like, how many times you think? Oh, you know, I just really need to switch off here. I'll use my mobile phone or TV,

35
00:09:51.740 --> 00:10:17.560
The Midlife Mentors: which actually, your mobile phone is increasing your levels of stress. Right? It's kicking into that dopamine. It's making you more wired. You're finding it difficult to concentrate. And you're not really present with the people that you love or that are important to you, and there's very little real joy and meaning to your life. So if that sounds familiar, carry on listening listeners because we're going to really help you with the strategies, those 4 tools.

36
00:10:17.790 --> 00:10:22.089
The Midlife Mentors: those 4 elements to really help you get some life balance life, harmony back.

37
00:10:22.430 --> 00:10:39.850
The Midlife Mentors: So why? Why do we struggle so much with creating life balance? Well, it's interesting. Actually, we become what we habitually do. So the brain rewires so that we actually get used to the stress, it becomes normalized. So

38
00:10:39.850 --> 00:11:00.020
The Midlife Mentors: this is typical. Right? If you've if you've been really stressed for a long time and you go on holiday, then you just can't relax because you're just not used to the state of relaxing. You're actually primed to be stressful. And then we start to think we conflate being busy with being a value. So we only think we're being a value if we're doing stuff so

39
00:11:00.170 --> 00:11:02.350
The Midlife Mentors: and that can be a problem in itself.

40
00:11:02.560 --> 00:11:26.780
The Midlife Mentors: then often we realize we're stressed. So we try and fix the stress when we're in the middle of it. Yeah, whilst we're stressed. Yeah, you try and fix the problem. So then we fall into this, this cycle of unhealthy habits, patterns of thinking, being and doing. And all the time that we're doing that we're reinforcing this behavior. Our body's responding to the stress, you know, unhealthy. We're craving those high energy foods. We're having a drink to try and decompress.

41
00:11:26.900 --> 00:11:31.469
The Midlife Mentors: And then, you know, it just all adds to the stress and fuels it further.

42
00:11:31.910 --> 00:11:47.030
The Midlife Mentors: I think we want to blast some misconceptions about life balance. This is so important. Can I go with the 1st one you go the 1st one. It's a big one. It's a big one. These are life balance, misconceptions and drum roll, please.

43
00:11:47.090 --> 00:12:13.039
The Midlife Mentors: Life balance isn't possible. So I know this whole thing is titled about how to get life balance, about how to get life balance. But actually, it's not possible. And there is a lot of stress that comes with trying to create life balance. It's almost like I need more balance in my life, so that in itself makes you more stressed because you feel like you don't have it. Well, we're going to debust that myth, that it's even possible life comes in season.

44
00:12:13.040 --> 00:12:36.970
The Midlife Mentors: Friends, life comes in seasons. You'll drive yourself mad, trying to find balance 100% of the time. Yeah, it comes in season, and there is no perfect balance at all. What we're looking for here is to become resilient, so that when actually life swings in one end of the pendulum in one end of the spectrum where it's crazy. And there's a lot of painful stuff going on a lot of stress.

45
00:12:37.150 --> 00:12:47.710
The Midlife Mentors: A lot of this stuff happens at midlife. There could be loss. There could be job loss. All of these things. What we want to be able to do is have that kind of resilience. We want to have set ourselves up

46
00:12:47.710 --> 00:13:09.949
The Midlife Mentors: to be able to deal with life when it's like that. So that actually, when it swings in the opposite way, and you get a bit of relief and reprieve from that. But you actually can kind of be able to create. So instead of that pendulum going really, really far off. And it's taking you into a downward spiral, you've got more resilience to keep it kind of somewhere in the middle.

47
00:13:10.080 --> 00:13:34.740
The Midlife Mentors: But yeah, I think like, James said, there, we can drive ourselves mad, trying to create that elusive life balance. But what we're trying to do is stop those extremes being so extreme. If that makes sense, and then the other life balance, misconception is when I find time. It's like, Oh, when I have time I'll do this when I have time. I'll do that. It will never happen, for all the reasons we've already talked

48
00:13:34.740 --> 00:13:56.909
The Midlife Mentors: about with all the stress and getting into that habit of stress. So we need to actually be proactive and make the time. We need to organize our life in such a way that we actually face this and make the time to source it out. Yeah. And then the other misconception is, other people are better than me, you know we've said this kind of already, but I just want to say to you right now.

49
00:13:57.570 --> 00:14:27.440
The Midlife Mentors: because just because you are stressed out and you don't feel like you have this life balance. It doesn't make you a failure. It doesn't make you a failure because you feel like you can't hold it all together. There's no shame in the struggle. You know this whole thing that we said around society. I can, I can. So I should, you know, because I can have it all. I should have it all. Just want you to take a breath to relax, to take away that shame and that stigma, because no one.

50
00:14:27.590 --> 00:14:35.250
The Midlife Mentors: no one has a perfect life balance, no matter what you're seeing on social media with everyone's highlight reels. So just chill a little bit on yourself.

51
00:14:35.250 --> 00:14:57.930
The Midlife Mentors: The other thing we do is delude ourselves that okay, I'll just keep putting up with this. Keep up with this until I can have a holiday and get a break from it. Well, listen, when you're like that, you know, one week, 2 weeks away is not going to cut it. That's not balance, you know, going going flat out, being stressed all the time and then having a week where you switch off isn't isn't balance. You're swinging from one end to the other, as Claire's already said. So really.

52
00:14:58.060 --> 00:15:23.029
The Midlife Mentors: it's about making space every day, making space every day and finding that balance those moments of balance throughout the day. And again having to. You have to be. Plan this. You've got to be proactive. It won't just happen for you. You've got to plan it. No, because everyone's going to be buying for your attention and your time all the time, and also a misconception. Is is that life balance is about doing less. It's not actually, you know, so many people focus on getting life balance in the things that you do and don't do.

53
00:15:23.030 --> 00:15:29.349
The Midlife Mentors: but it's also about getting balance inside yourself inside your spirit inside your mind.

54
00:15:29.350 --> 00:15:46.660
The Midlife Mentors: This is about that resilience I was talking about is, how can I bring pockets of balance back to my life within me where I can control my state? You know. What can I control? I can control my state. And that's something that we need to learn. And we're going to talk to you about this in some of the tools that we're going to go through.

55
00:15:47.260 --> 00:15:53.959
The Midlife Mentors: So here we are. Let's going to go into the 4 pillars to building life harmony rather than life

56
00:15:53.960 --> 00:16:17.549
The Midlife Mentors: balance. And I just wanted to say, as you know, if you've listened to us, even a couple of episodes of this, we're all about a holistic approach. So you can't just like I just said, you can't create life harmony just through the things that you do. Externally. It is a mind, body, and spirit approach to bringing harmony to your life. So we are going to go through the mind, the body, the soul, and the spirit.

57
00:16:17.550 --> 00:16:41.770
The Midlife Mentors: but also underpinning all of that is the environment that you put yourself in. Which is why I'm taking James away tomorrow, because it's all about the environment, too. So let's talk about the mind. Yes, let's talk pillar. One is the mind. So we want to focus on building a balanced mindset. And one of the things we want to do is move away from thinking about time management, thinking about energy management. Where are you expending your energy? Where are you conserving it?

58
00:16:42.050 --> 00:16:54.010
The Midlife Mentors: So this might mean, you have to reevaluate your values or your goals. You're gonna have to set more appropriate boundaries. Remember, when you say yes to someone else, you're saying no to yourself, yes, focus on controlling what you can control.

59
00:16:54.210 --> 00:17:13.569
The Midlife Mentors: create those routines to give yourself that perception of control? Yeah, the conscious mind loves routine, doesn't it? So when we feel out of control, it loves to have that routine exactly. Do be aware of where you're spending your time right? Because often, like we're like, Oh, there's not enough time in the day. But actually, you've wasted chunks of it doing something you didn't need to do

60
00:17:13.569 --> 00:17:25.029
The Midlife Mentors: doom scrolling being a really obvious example. But there's loads of others. So I say, be aware of spending your time, but also where you're expending your energy right? We can sometimes be expending energy in all the wrong places.

61
00:17:25.030 --> 00:17:29.860
The Midlife Mentors: leaving us feeling even more drained. Yeah, even more drained, and that we haven't achieved anything.

62
00:17:30.130 --> 00:17:50.900
The Midlife Mentors: So also be careful about what you're mentally feeding yourself. So that's about watching your news intake, making sure your social media feed is supporting you, not working against you. And the algorithm's not showing you more of the stuff that you don't want. Yeah, which is saying, you know, basically control your device time. And the last thing I'd say is.

63
00:17:50.900 --> 00:18:15.879
The Midlife Mentors: we do have monkey minds essentially. And we we are all humans are dopamine addicts, so create rewards, and Mini breaks for yourself, you know. Oh, when I've done this task, then I will. I'll give myself a little treat of, you know, browsing online for this thing, or browsing online for that thing or going for a walk. So do set up those miniature rewards, micro reward structures for yourself. It does really work well. James and I were having this conversation this morning. I was basically

64
00:18:15.880 --> 00:18:27.029
The Midlife Mentors: doing a coaching session on James this morning, because, you know, like we go through these highs and lows as well, and I'm really lucky that we can both support each other when we go through highs and lows. And James was saying

65
00:18:27.030 --> 00:18:47.782
The Midlife Mentors: that he loves one part so as being an entrepreneur, he loves one part of it, and then he loves the other part. But there's this whole chunk bit in the middle that he doesn't like doing. And actually it's the same of the stuff that I don't like doing. I suppose it's the nitty, gritty stuff it's like, yeah, that there's I won't go into too much detail, but is there's a bit in the middle that James just doesn't like to do

66
00:18:48.030 --> 00:19:17.339
The Midlife Mentors: and I think that's quite common across the board. These things that he doesn't like to do. But I was like, okay in your day. He was like, Oh, no, but the reward is the delivery, the reward is. And I said, No, no, no, that's too too far gone. That's too out of your control. That's too far down the line like, how can you actually create rewards for yourself when you do the thing that you don't want to do, and you do it 1st in the day. How can you create a little reward and a Mini, break for yourself. That celebrates that you've actually done it. So

67
00:19:17.340 --> 00:19:32.330
The Midlife Mentors: that's really, really important that the reward isn't too far down the line, that it's actually tangible, and it's close. So you can, you can hold on to it the next. Actually, where we talk a lot about the holistic approach to

68
00:19:32.370 --> 00:19:39.910
The Midlife Mentors: life harmony. Do not forget about your body. No, do not do not forget. Do not forget about, because we know

69
00:19:40.090 --> 00:20:03.559
The Midlife Mentors: that a balanced body is really really important to life harmony. You are body, mind, and soul. You are a holistic being. Exercise is going to release the stress and life overwhelm. It's going to give you space and time for yourself. That's carving out time for you. Your special time. When we work out our body releases, feel good neurotransitors, serotonin, dopamine, and gaba. We know these endorphins really, really help, and

70
00:20:03.560 --> 00:20:28.540
The Midlife Mentors: we know that when we consistently exercise, the brain continues to release these amazing feel good hormones. So even when you're not exercising. You're still getting the benefit. We know it lowers levels of cortisol and adrenaline, and creates better mental health and resilience, and it also helps with your sleep. It helps with hormones. It's really important not to just focus on any one part of this. It's really important.

71
00:20:28.540 --> 00:20:43.690
The Midlife Mentors: Get all of these things in harmony. I'd say also, it's telling your subconscious that you're prioritizing yourself as well time to go after myself. And here's the other thing like, if you if you get ill, because you're not keeping yourself healthy, that's just going to make you more stressed and lead to more imbalance. So that's another reason.

72
00:20:44.160 --> 00:20:56.879
The Midlife Mentors: A balanced body is also about nutrition. So again, when we're in a stress response, we're going to crave high energy foods. But you know, we're not actually fighting that tiger or running away from that tiger. So we don't need all those calories.

73
00:20:57.240 --> 00:21:06.660
The Midlife Mentors: Poor quality food is going to cause physiological stress impact. Our gut biomes. If we start putting on weight that's going to increase our stress as well.

74
00:21:06.740 --> 00:21:26.799
The Midlife Mentors: A lot of our food is packed with sugar, we might lean into sugar as again to get that dopamine hit as that kind of treat same thing with alcohol. We might think it helps us relieve stress, but you know, it really really doesn't. So we basically want to go to a healthy diet. We want to minimize sugar. Be careful of our alcohol intake.

75
00:21:26.800 --> 00:21:45.839
The Midlife Mentors: Make sure we're getting enough lean protein. Make sure we're not eating loads of processed food, and then, in conjunction with the movement, we're going to have a healthier body. We'll be able to cope better with anything that's thrown at us, and our physiological stress state will be lower as a result also. Now, I want to talk about a balanced spirit, a balanced soul. Right?

76
00:21:45.970 --> 00:21:53.750
The Midlife Mentors: A lot of people forget this. And this is where I suppose that coming back to center is really really important. A lot of us

77
00:21:53.870 --> 00:22:18.009
The Midlife Mentors: so externally focused, we can't even bring ourselves back to center back to a rest and renewed spirit. We really need to focus on carving out time where we have that silence and solitude, and I'm not saying that you need to go away on retreats like I do. It's just not practical for people, but like, how can you get in your day

78
00:22:18.010 --> 00:22:27.999
The Midlife Mentors: some solitude, some some way to renew yourself and some of the ways that we can do that is going out into nature and getting some

79
00:22:28.000 --> 00:22:43.480
The Midlife Mentors: get some deep breaths outside. Also that sense of gratitude. We talk about this all the time. There's so much research now about focusing on what we do, how beautiful it is when we focus on what we do have rather than what we don't.

80
00:22:43.710 --> 00:23:08.630
The Midlife Mentors: Society tells us we'll be happy when we'll be happy when we'll be. You know. It's an inside job, I know. That's so, cliche to say. But you need to learn how to be happy we are. We've been brought up in a society that's not actually taught us to be grateful and joyful and appreciate what we do have the simple things, and we need to learn how to do that again. So, writing a gratitude list, you know, in the morning getting up writing 3 things you're grateful for really feeling it

81
00:23:08.850 --> 00:23:22.899
The Midlife Mentors: coming before you go to bed writing down 3 things that you've achieved in that day. How good that feels. You know what you're proud of. These things make a massive difference. You might want to look at mindfulness, meditation, or prayer

82
00:23:22.900 --> 00:23:39.619
The Midlife Mentors: acts of compassion. This is so overlooked as as human beings. I know we're in a world now where we focus on how horrible human beings are, but actually, inherently. We are good. I really truly believe that we release oxytocin a feel good hormone

83
00:23:39.800 --> 00:24:02.480
The Midlife Mentors: when we give. So just ask yourself, like, how in your day can you give small acts of compassion. Is it buying the person behind you a cup of coffee? Is it buying the homeless person on a street, a sandwich? Is it a smile to someone that looks sad. Is it putting an arm around someone that might might look that they need a little bit of love and compassion

84
00:24:02.480 --> 00:24:29.170
The Midlife Mentors: just come from that heart space, and you'll notice really, really, that your your energy starts to shift, surrender, and accept what you can't control. This is kind of what James said. It goes beyond that, though it's about. It's about knowing where you are right now, accepting where you are and controlling what you can control. Journaling is really powerful. A lot of the time. We just remunerate over things in our head, like over and over over and over, over and over in our heads.

85
00:24:29.230 --> 00:24:51.680
The Midlife Mentors: And actually, we sorry, ruminating over and over what's going on in our heads. And actually, it really helps getting it out on a piece of paper, journaling, journaling your feelings, allowing yourself to feel what you feel, and healing modalities as well, counseling therapy, coaching, nlp, all those sorts of things really help create a balanced spirit.

86
00:24:52.020 --> 00:25:17.539
The Midlife Mentors: Finally, we are on to the the bit. That kind of encapsulates it all, which is environment. It's very nurturing yourself with what you surround yourself with. So you know, if you can, if you do, have the luxury of space, create a youth space, a space where you can go and relax, maybe have a distinct workspace and distinct relaxed space. Try and keep your work and home areas uncluttered.

87
00:25:17.630 --> 00:25:31.610
The Midlife Mentors: Make sure you are getting out in nature regularly, you know we talk about this all the time getting out in nature even as it was, 15 min will have a significant effect on lowering your cortisol, lowering your blood pressure and lowering your heart rate.

88
00:25:31.730 --> 00:25:58.599
The Midlife Mentors: Make sure you're getting enough good quality sleep. Make sure you're eliminating as many toxins as you can. That's not just from food. It's about household products as well. Scents stuff like that. Make sure you're around uplifting. People. Make sure you're around uplifting, tech support you, not against you. And then the last bit is, yeah. Surround yourself with uplifting people. It makes such a difference. If you're around with people that are

89
00:25:58.600 --> 00:26:11.409
The Midlife Mentors: always looking on the bright side, always uplifting. Always got your back. You're going to feel very different if you're surrounding yourself around people that are moaning all the time telling you that you're no good. The situation is never going to improve.

90
00:26:11.410 --> 00:26:36.900
The Midlife Mentors: Listen. All the research says optimists have better life outcomes and pessimists. So why not be optimistic, and they say that you are like the 5 people you surround yourself with the most, you know. So like check in with the 5 people you're around and get your, you know, get yourself into an environment, either a hobby or an online group or something like that. So I hope you found that helpful in summary. Really, you just want to say like, don't add stress to your life by obsessing over creating life balance.

91
00:26:36.900 --> 00:26:47.579
The Midlife Mentors: Life does come in those seasons. But what we want to do is create the ability to be resilient so that the pendulum doesn't swing so high and so extreme in either direction.

92
00:26:47.640 --> 00:27:17.240
The Midlife Mentors: and really do practice those holistic lifestyle approaches because you'll increase that resilience to the ebbs and flows of life. So we really really hope that you found that helpful. I'd love you to think about as you finish off this. Podcast you know, like, what's been the greatest. Takeaway for you. What are you? Gonna what are you going to go away and implement in your life? Don't overstress it. We're not asking you to do. We've given you a whole heap of tips there. You might want to go back and listen and and make some notes, but what I would say is.

93
00:27:17.240 --> 00:27:28.500
The Midlife Mentors: you know, nothing changes if nothing changes. So have a think about how you can create a little bit more life harmony in your mind. So maybe pick one from the mind, one from the body and one from the soul and the spirit.

94
00:27:28.500 --> 00:27:51.750
The Midlife Mentors: Yeah, I was. Gonna say, remember, it's not knowledge that's power. It's the implementation of that knowledge. So do go away and take some steps. Yay, listen we would. I'm going to put the in the show notes a link to go and buy James's book. This is such an important book. It's the midlife Male handbook, a guide to thriving through andropause. It is

95
00:27:51.750 --> 00:28:01.290
The Midlife Mentors: so so needed for men and for women. It's really important that we start to talk about and demystify the andropause.

96
00:28:01.290 --> 00:28:19.260
The Midlife Mentors: So the links are in the show notes. If you've got any questions at all, any reflections on this podcast or anything in life. Or you want us to talk about something or get a guest on this, podcast you can message us at team at themidlifementors.com, and we are sending you so much love.