How I Stopped Hating My Body

Similar to last week, rather than hearing me interview someone, I am actually getting interviewed. I was interviewed by my friend Ammar Assad, another amazing coach in the space. 

Ammar and I met originally in another business mastermind and have kept in touch over the years. He was my mentor during my time with Rob Dial. 

On his podcast, The Life Leaders Podcast, Ammar and I discuss confidence and body image specifically because at that time, that’s the type of coach I was. So this was before I got into business coaching which feels like a long time ago now! We talk about my own personal body image story, how kids at the age of 8 and 9 start worrying about their body’s appearance, how generational body image can get passed down, the difference between self-hate and self-love when it comes to exercise and health overall and so much more.

I really hope you guys love this episode - if you do, I would love for you to take a screenshot, post it on your stories & tag me (@katja.lillian) so that I can see it!

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Transcript

0:43

What's up. You guys welcome back to the building. Her podcast. I am so excited for this week's episode. Facade, and I know you'll really enjoy it because similar. To last week, rather than hearing me interview someone, I am actually. Actually getting interviewed. I was interviewed by my friend, Amar Assad. Another amazing coach and mentor in the space. Uh, Mara and I met originally in another business mastermind that. I have taken and we've kept in touch over the years. He was. My mentor during my time with Rob dial, for those that don't know. No. I did Rob dials business program. Oh, gosh. Gosh, it was like six to nine months because I kept extending. And I was doing really well and they invited me into elite program. And it just kept going for, yeah. I want to say it was about nine. Nine months. And then soon after I was actually hired by Rob dial. For six months to work on their team as one of their expert. Coach's so such an amazing time and it totally added. Added to my career portfolio and really expand. Banded my limits as a coach and I learned so much. And I'm just so, so. So grateful for that time. But that's where I met Amar. And. It's really interesting because as a part of Rob's elite program, Graham, which I don't think he has any more. But we. We were all invited out to a seminar that he. He was hosting in Austin, Texas, and it was just for the elite group. And so it was like a small and intimate group, maybe 15, 20 people. People. And that's where I met Amar. Finally, in real life. After months and months and months of working together. And we were. Actually paired together in one specific exercise where you just had to share. Share your deepest, insecurities and vulnerabilities. And. Him and I, you know, cry to each other and it was such an intimate moment. But then we were turned like soul sister and soul brother. Other. And so even moving forward in life, right? Like that's always going. Going to be my soul brother. So it's really neat. And we have such a cool. And deep bond. So I'm really excited for you guys to hear this conversation. on his podcast, the life leaders podcast. Uh, Mara and I discussed confidence and body image specifically because. Because at that time, that's the type of coach I was. So this. This was before I got into business coaching, which feels like such a long time. Ago now. We talk about my own personal body image story. How kids at the age of eight and nine start worrying about their bodies. These appearance, how generational body image can get passed down. The difference between self hate and self-love when it comes to exercise. and leading a healthy lifestyle overall. And. So much more. I really hope you guys love this episode. If you do, I would love for you to take a screenshot posted. On your stories and tag me at Katia dot Lillian so that I can see it. Welcome to the leader's life podcast, where we implement that old school grind with that new school mind. What is up fam? I am your host Ammar. And before we get started, please, please, please make sure you hit that subscribe button so you never ever miss out. And if you'd like this podcast, hook your boy up with a five star review. Now, this is the expert series. I have an amazing person, amazing friend, amazing mentor. Her name is Katia Lillian. She is a mentor and coach that specializes in confidence and body image. With that being said, welcome to the leader's life podcast, Katia. Hi, Amar. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you so much for taking time out of your crazy busy day to come on this podcast and more than anything, help and give back, especially with confidence and body image, because I mean, you and I were just talking, you know, offline about how serious this topic is. So right before we get into this Katya, why don't we let the Lillian is. Yeah, sure. So my name is Katya Lillian. I am a confidence and body image coach. I started down this journey seven years ago and I haven't looked back since. I love it so much. I work with clients one on one, group coaching as well, and I developed my own journal called Pen Drop Project. That is right. And yeah, that journal that's going to be coming out, that's going to be for sale. Not yet, I believe, but I know you're working on that. So yeah, I can't wait to grab that. So let's just jump right into this. So body image. So my wife and I were just having a conversation about how she was telling me how there are kids, eight, nine years old, calling themselves fat, saying that they don't look good. Yeah. Just please elaborate, why are kids at the age of 8 and 9 worried about their body? Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's so sad when we think about the age and how early this starts. I think to give your listeners some context, I'll start with my own story and how young I was because it matters and it, uh, contributes to the entire story here. So when I was younger, I was born in Germany. First off, my mom is German. My dad met her. He was in the air force. And then we moved to Saudi Arabia for six years. We were there stationed on an Air Force base. And then we came here to America. And when I started noticing my own body and security issues was actually during my upbringing during those years from my mom. And She didn't even know she was doing it or saying it. It was very subconscious for her, but it was the way she looked at herself in the mirror. It was the comments that she would make about herself. Like, Oh, I need to lose another five pounds. Oh, I need to lose 10 pounds. Oh, I gained weight again. Oh, I'm so fat. Right. It was like almost her. Negative self talk that I picked up along the way from a very, very, very young age. That was one part of it. The other massive part of it, when I moved to America, it was just the, the media and being bombarded with all of these messages and seeing the same type of body image and all of the propaganda that were fed right at that time, it's magazines. Now it's all digital, but if that's all you see. You start to wonder and look at yourself in the mirror and be like, I don't look like that. So what's wrong with me and that's when we go down this negative spiral of negative thoughts and we start to try. We try to change ourselves so that we do feel like we're good enough to match what society tells us to look like. And that starts to your point from a very, very young age. I think I was also around that same age group, eight to 10 years old. Wow. Wow. Wow. Thank you so much for sharing that because it's disturbing. I'm gonna use the word disturbing that, you know, they're worried about the way they look at that young, you know, of age. And we, you know, I was telling you a story about when I was on vacation with my wife and my cousins, and there was a guy on their honeymoon who jumped into a pool with his t shirt. Why his wife didn't care. His wife wanted him to take the shirt off, but he was comfortable enough with that. So. It's not just women, correct? Yeah. There's this misconception that it's all women. And I do believe the percentage it is higher on the women's side. However, there's a lot of males that I work with and they also have body image issues and it's again, coming from their upbringing. One of my clients in particular, he was bullied as a kid because he was overweight. And. He wasn't obese. He was a little chubby at that age, right? And you're so young, like it's okay. You, you're so active and you're figuring out what works for your body food wise. And it should be this beautiful time in our lives. But when you're bullied. That can really, really mess you up if you will down the road and you're constantly now second guessing yourself and the movement piece for your body. It's not from a place of self love. It's from a place of self hate. And so it works with both sexes, male and female. I love that you said it's not self love. It's self hate because I've, I've never looked at it and at that way. Oh, yeah. You said, yeah, but you said something earlier that I think is very, very important. You brought up, I'm going to say, I'll say Tik TOK, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter. You have these. Models that people want to compare themselves to, and then they look at them and then they go to the gym. They try to work out, but they just, no matter what they're doing, no matter what they're saying, they're not getting the results that they want. And it's, I, I don't know what it is. That's what I want to ask you. It's like, they're still not happy, no matter how much they're doing. I'll give you an example. I know somebody who lost 80 pounds and they're not satisfied. I know somebody who lost a hundred pounds has not satisfied. You and I have a mutual friend mentor. Natalie, I'll give a shout out. She lost a hundred pounds and she still had a bunch of stuff from there. So it's like, what is the root of it? What could be the root of the fact of, Hey, I'm just very insecure with the way I look. Yeah. Yeah. I think I, I said it before, but I'll go deeper with my own story. It's this idea of self hate and self love. So. My entire upbringing, it was always coming from working on myself in terms of fitness and nutrition, always came from a place of self hate, and I don't think it's We're aware of it at that time. It's very subconscious because look at the diet industry, everything that is fed to us is you must lose weight to look good. And that looking good part is so that you'll be loved so that you'll be good enough so that you'll be successful. Right. It's a very. It's like a, how do you say it? It's a message that isn't very open, but that it's almost like a hidden message, right? That's what they're feeding us. And so when I was growing up and my body starts changing and for your audience too, I'm very tall. I'm five 11, right? And that was a huge issue for me in terms of my body image, because I'm towering over women, but also men. And that was a huge, like, power dynamic thing going on. And I didn't realize it at the time, but I was not fitting in, in like this box. Okay. I was different than others. And so I always just tried to fit in. That was like, my number one goal is let me. shrink myself as much as possible so that I can be perceived as beautiful and pretty and therefore loved and good enough. So I hated my body from the get go. So I always try changing it, whether that was again, losing five, 10 pounds, I would even like hunch over again. I wasn't conscious about this, but it was just naturally, I would always try to hunch over to appear smaller. My shoe size, this is all ridiculous now that I'm saying it, but at that time it was huge, this is all in high school, my shoe size, I was embarrassed because other girls would have it. and I'm with an eight or not like this ginormous s was still a little bit bi bad. Bigger meant not bea it clicked for me, by the try to diet or changing m I would lose then the 10 pounds and like you just gave examples of like Natalie or others that you spoke of, you would almost feel worse about yourself because you're like, okay, now I lost 10 pounds. So now I should feel beautiful. Now I should feel love. Now I should feel good enough, but I don't. So there's this gap, there's this hole there that we still need to fill that void. And when it clicked for me, it was at 24, I was finally able to heal and I was able to realize I'm not the problem. The system is the problem. I didn't fail. The system, the system failed me. And that was huge. And that was the start of my self love journey and just loving my body from a place of functionality. I I'm healthy, I'm able bodied and there that's where the gratitude came in. And so then I wanted to move my body just to feel better energetically. I wanted to provide it nutrition that was good for me, not to change And reduce and get smaller, but to almost gain energy and to become more of. And when I started that perspective, I haven't looked back since it's been seven years and I haven't had a weight issue since that time. So long winded answer for you, but there was a lot there in terms of my journey. No, that was beautiful. That was powerful. And the best part that you said about it, which is, I think this is my opinion and you said it as you, you were sharing that powerful, powerful story is fitting in, fitting it, fitting in that to me, I feel like It's not only an eight and nine year olds, it's 13, 40 year olds, 50 year olds, 65. I see it all the time. I see it, whether it's somebody who's embarrassed to say they don't want to drink in front of their friends, people who are embarrassed because they're not working out. I know a bunch of tall, tall females, you know, that same, the same situation that they would kind of make themselves small, smaller than what they really were, but fitting in Katya, obviously you're, you've gotten over. Your humps and hurdles, but can you give an example where you were not let into the group or you were not accepted because of the way you looked? Yeah, I go right away back to childhood and then it was mainly high school in the first few years of college. In high school, I. Moved from Saudi Arabia. I believe I was in sixth grade. And so I was completely new to the American society and the way of life and just everything about it. My dad was American, but my mom was German, right? So neither of them have a college education. I was just so foreign to how America works and then piece that background with my height. I mean, everything about me stood out, right? Everything about me did not fit in. And instead of viewing that as a positive thing and embracing that and leaning into it, I viewed it as a very negative thing. And again, that stems from my mom and a little bit also from my dad. And so that's why I always talk about this thing as generational. We talk about kids and how you said it starts at eight or nine, which is crazy. But who are the adults that are even telling them this, right? And it doesn't even need to be in the household. It could be a teacher. It could be a friend's parent. It could be going back to media and propaganda and what you see. So to answer your question, the fitting in piece, I felt like, I feel like I was never able to fit in. But I think the question there is like, well, why do you want to fit in? It took me years to figure that out. So, But as kids, all you want is to be loved and accepted by your peer group, especially in high school. One key example for you. So my height, I was very, I had an athletic build. I still do. But what you just said, like tall women, What I always saw were images of models, right? If you're tall, you're a model, but when you're a model, you're also really, really, really thin. And so having an athletic build didn't fit that, that mold. And so I played tennis and tennis was almost like, It validated my height. It was like, okay, now there's a purpose here of why I'm tall. And that was a little bit of a healing journey. But after two years of college, I decided to quit tennis because I had this thought of, well, now it's time to get a real job. I never equated tennis with To money. It was always tennis as a hobby. And when I removed tennis from my life, now that insecurity came back in and I was like, well, what, what do I do now? It was like an identity crisis. And so, I mean, still to this day, I don't fit in, but now it's a different way of looking at it. And it's something to be celebrated because we all don't need to be normal and fit in. We should all celebrate our unique characteristics. I love that answer. And what the hell is normal, by the way? Like, I don't know what normal I was just, I don't know who I was having this conversation with, but it's just like, what, what is normal? And, and who determines what normal is? You know, I said it best with my family. I have four kids and, you know, it was a crazy morning and it's just like, And my wife made the comment, one of the kids is something about like, this isn't normal. I'm just like, who, who determines what normal is? Because I can tell you right now, it's not this guy. I don't understand what the obsession is about normal. So now I want you to clear the air for this, either if it's true or false and elaborate. So you said generational. Right. So I hear this all the time. My mom is big bone. My, my dad is just a overweight guy. You know, all my family is just comes from obesity. So that's just the way it's going to be. So therefore I'm just going to be obese. I'm going to be overweight. What is your take on that? Great question. So I hear that all the time as well. And it's rooted in a fixed mindset. I cannot change. Because of my parents, because of my grandparents, this is just a way of life. It's not in the cards for me. That's a very genetic fixed perspective. And you know what? Genetically, there are some studies out there. It might be true, but that is the minority 10%. The majority is your lifestyle. So who cares what your parents ate? Who cares if they were big boned? I'm using air quotes here. Who cares whatever their story was? There's a way of life behind that. So if I believe I'm big boned and that's just it for me, of course, I don't want to work on myself. Of course, I don't want to work on my body or my nutrition because I can't change it. There's no hope for me. And so what people need to do is shift into that growth mindset and be like, okay, my parents were like that. My grandparents were like that, but look at what they ate. Look at what they, how they didn't move their body. They didn't exercise. And so if I don't want to be like that, let's exercise and let's eat better. And I guarantee you, your body will start changing. Yes. Yes. And it will start changing because like what you said, what I love, what you said as far as like, yeah, like That's their story. It's not your story. And our mentor, Rob Les said this, he was just like, you're born to look like your parents. Mm-Hmm. But that's about it. You create your own story. You don't take on their story. Yeah. I'm sure there's trauma, of course, there's things that we grow up with that you know, can affect you from the parents. However, we. Are the authors of our story at the end of the day. And that's pretty much what you're saying. Correct? Exactly. Yeah. A very specific example. My mom always struggled with her weight again. I saw it when I was growing up, she always felt like she needed to lose another five, 10 pounds, whatever it was, and then she also restricted herself with food. There was this show. Back in the day. I sound so old. Oh, back in my day in the day, it was a reality show called big brother. And it was always like two teams in a household and they would, you know, have competitions or whatever. The losing team would have to eat this thing called big brother slop. And what that was is just oatmeal, but you had to eat oatmeal breakfast, lunch, and dinner for a week. My mom love her to death, but thought that was a good idea for us to try at home. My mom, my older sister, and me for a week decided to eat oatmeal breakfast, lunch, and dinner. We lasted for two days. I was going to say, how'd that work out for you, ladies? It didn't work out. It didn't work out at all. But we always had little things like that. And it was almost like we gamified it. Like, oh yeah, let's try that. I bet you we'll lose five, ten pounds. That is so unhealthy. Like now, and when I reflect on it, I'm like, what were we doing? But anyways, my mom always thought she was bigger. She always thought she needed to lose five, 10 pounds that came from her mom. Okay. So that's generational again. And so she also had this self talk of like, oh, well, my mom was this way. So how could I possibly change? And so she had to do a lot of mindset work herself. And she. Fast forward. She was 55. She's 60 now. So at 55, she decided I'm going to lose weight, but from a healthy place again, self love, not self hate. And she started walking daily and she started incorporating a very large salad at night. And then drinking more water. So those three things started walking daily, salad at night, and then drink more water. She lost 56 pounds. Wow. You heard? Well, I got it. Your mom lost 56 pounds. Repeat it again. 56 pounds by doing what again? Walking every day. Incorporating a salad, a large salad at night, and then drinking more water. Those basics. And she even says it, I'll quote her, she's like, I lost 56 pounds by putting one foot in front of the other. And when you look at it from that perspective, so simple. Right. But we get in our heads and regardless of her story, regardless of what her mom did, she changed her lifestyle at 55 years old and she was able to lose that amount of weight and she's kept it off because she's so happy. And she almost built more self love during that process. So I've seen people lose weight from a very healthy perspective too. Wow. Thank you. Thank you, Katya. First of all, sharing that story with your mom. Now I know this is going to, this is going to help a lot of people out because you kept on saying, you know, in your head, fixed mindset. So right now, cause I know you, you're an amazing mentor and coach. You've helped so many people with body images and confidence. What would you say would be the very first step they need to take right now? That person that's looking in the mirror and is like, Just completely disgusted with the way they look. They are. Cursing themselves out. They are talking shit to themselves. They are just not happy, not satisfied. What is the first step for them to just start self loving instead of self hating? Forgiveness. The first step is forgiveness because when you're looking at yourself in the mirror, you see a story and that story is rooted in your past and all these decisions you've made and all the nasty comments you've made to yourself and all the people that bullied you for the way you look, it's your whole narrative from your past. That's what you see in the mirror. It's not real as trippy as that sounds. It's not real. And so I always start with forgiveness of like, yep, I was mean to myself. Yep. I did gain 20, 50 pounds, whatever weight we're talking about here. Yup. I did let the system get to me. Yup. I did let those kids be mean to me and bully me, but not anymore. Right? Give myself grace, give myself compassion, come back to the very present moment, which is here. It's now. And now I'm going to work towards healing and self love and working on myself for myself by myself so that I could also help inspire others. So. Long winded. But first answer is forgiveness. No, that's, you know, I love that answer because that is the hardest thing to do. That is hard. That is the hardest thing. If you would have told me first step is to run five miles, I would figure that out. But when you're telling me to lean in and to just get in and relive all those terrible stuff that we've told ourselves, Yeah. That's probably why a lot of people don't move forward or are stuck that way, is that they've been telling themselves this for so long that they believe it. Yeah, from their childhood, something that somebody told them from their childhood has stuck 2030 years. That's just mind boggling. So yeah, that's, that's great. So the first step would be forgiveness. So then after that, what would you say they forgive themselves after it takes them? A couple of weeks to be like, all right, no more shit talking. I'm ready to do this. Yeah. The next step would be starting small. So it doesn't need to be this huge mountain that we need to climb and get that gym membership on January 1st and go for 30 days and cut out all your favorite foods and work out three, four hours a day. No. Right. We don't want it to be overwhelming. We want it to be enjoyable because what I teach my clients is we're working on ourselves for the long term, not the short term. So the marathon, as you say, right. Totally. And so a lot of people don't like starting small because they're like, is this even good enough? Like, Okay. I lost a pound in two weeks. Like what am I even doing here? But they, they, they're focused then on the short term. And so I'm like, if you focus on five years from now, 10 years from now, right. What are you gaining through this experience? And so like my mom, she started walking. She didn't have to invest in some crazy gym membership and a personal trainer. She just started walking. And I tell my clients this today, I have, I work from, I work from the age group of in your twenties, all the way up to in your fifties. It's the same narrative. It's the same loop that they're stuck in. But once they incorporate more movement and they want to naturally because they forgave themselves, there's nothing holding them back anymore. It's almost like this newfound freedom in the present moment. And they're like, no, I do want to move my body. And I do want to drink more water and I do want to eat better, not for the looks, not for the aesthetics. It needs to come from a place of how do I feel when I do this stuff? Do I have more energy or do I have less energy? Right? That was a huge thing for me to my, my mindset shift, like I'm not working out for looks. I'm working out for energy. I'm working out for vitality. I'm working out for longevity. And when you have those reasons, the small steps are enjoyable. You look forward to it every single day, and then that builds consistency. And once you have consistency over amount of time, the weight just falls off. It melts off. That's it. Because then you start thriving. You start feeling it. You start building your confidence. Yeah. So you said something that I actually love it. And I've tried it myself because here's the deal. Like you first have you said movement, right. And I just had knee surgery and I was on a good, good, I would say streak as far as consistency with my workouts. And I had to stop. Right. And I noticed when I stopped, I wasn't eating as good. I was starting to eat a lot of the kids snacks. I started to, you know, go in there and, you know, eat a bag of Doritos. And it was just like, as if like I was, I justified, I was like, you know what? I can't work out doctor's orders. So therefore I'm just gonna, you know, binge binge eat and eat some shit for a little bit until I'm cleared. And then I'll, I'll get back to it. However, obviously terrible approach, but essentially I know prior to that, I had that energy. And the quote that you are what you eat, is that true? Yes, a hundred percent. My personal story, going back to college days, trying to think here, I think it was freshman year of college. No, I lied. It was junior year of college because that was right after my tennis career ended, right? I quit tennis. So I was having this identity crisis. A lot of emotions came up. So I started binge eating and it was almost like an emotional outlet for me because I still wanted to remain small and be small, but I gained weight and I was binge eating. And it's almost like I didn't want to eat food in public because I wanted to appear small. And then in private I would eat because I was starving and that caught up with me and it was everything. I didn't have any limitations. I just ate whatever, like you said, the Doritos or my thing was pizza and pasta, like just whatever. And it was all to like, I guess justified as well, but it was this emotional piece because my tennis career was over and I was trying to figure out what, what, what next to do now, when I eat more vegetables, when I eat fruit, when I eat. Produce that is not packaged or boxed. I feel better. And I actually really focused on my nutrition. When I started my business here, it started out as a side hustle. And I worked at my tech company, you know, standard eight hours a day. And so I was like, well, how do I build this side hustle? Like where's that time? And so it was early mornings. It was late nights, it was weekends. And so that's where nutrition really came into play. And I understood the significance of it because I was like, if I don't have energy, I can't build my side hustle. So I need energy so that I'm awake and I can actually sit here on my laptop until about 10, 11, 12 at night. So that's where the nutrition came in for me was actually the energy and, you know, being able to build my side hustle. Yes, yes, yes. And you're crushing your side hustle and you're, you know, and, and, you know, the fact that, and that's why I wanted to bring up like you are where you eat and a personal story was because I know that when I, when I wasn't eating, you know, when I wasn't eating healthy and I was, you know, snacking, snacking a lot, it was what it was. I was not like, I'm going to say Amar, like I'm, I, you know, my energy, it's just like, boom, boom, boom, go, go, go. But I was just more like, I was more, I was more down. I was more comfortable. I was just more, I did not want to do anything. And now that, you know, I'm feeling more better and I'm, it's so funny you say walking because that's, that's what I'm doing. But, Somebody listening right now who is overweight, not happy with the way they look right now. And they, because you've emphasized and said movement, especially with your mom's story, right? What is a simple, simple thing they can do, whether even if it's in their house, outside of their house, time limit, something that maybe can give them that first, like literally step to starting their, their journey into just self love instead of self hate. Yeah, I would recommend right away walking just because it's the easiest form of movement. I would also, it is getting colder now though. So I know you live in Florida, but it is getting colder. So my family and friends and listeners that are up north, I was just in Canada the other day and it was freezing. I have to say, I lived in Chicago for four years and I still had to bundle up and get my butt out there and walk. No excuse. You are absolutely right. So yeah, so what, yeah, what would you say again, walking, whether cold or hot? Go ahead. Well, yeah, I go right away to walking. Just, it's the easiest and it's more enjoyable if you put in a podcast or music or, you know, something like that. With that said, walking is still in public, and I say that and I highlight that because what I've realized with some of my clients here, you almost feel embarrassed where you've let your body get to. And again, there's no right or wrong here with weight. It's the perspective, right? It's how they see themselves. And if they're just starting out, they feel almost like uncomfortable to go and walk in a public situation because now they're like, well, what does this person think of me? What does this person see me as like, Oh, this bigger person. And they're walking again. It's all perspective. So what I would actually recommend is in your home, if you do have those thoughts, right? Fear of what others might think of you, do it in private, right? It's a very private practice. You don't need to prove anything to anyone. So even me, like in my backyard, I have a yoga mat and I'll do like a 20, 30 minute HIIT workout. There's so many workouts on Instagram or YouTube. They're all free options. And you just start moving, whether it's hit or there's Pilates, there's bar. I would even say yoga, low impact for somebody, even for somebody who's just maybe doesn't work out or has not worked out you're saying right now. So you're listening out there. Who's just like, I can't work out. I'm embarrassed to work out. You're saying everything that you're mentioning, even hit yoga Pilates. That's a great first step exercise. A hundred percent. And it's intimidating and not intimidating. No, because take those words, exercising, training, working out, take that out of it and just be like, how am I going to move today? Right. Without sitting all day without being in my car all day, whatever sedentary lifestyle you have move dance. Do you like to dance? Plus the move. Yeah, no, it's funny because I do in the morning and we've been doing it on the weekends where we just get silly with the kids and just get dancing and moving. And then their mood is so much better. Yes. But what's a time limit? What would you say a time limit? And I know I, cause I love the way your approach is, is that like, you're not exercising, you're not working out, you're just moving. So what's a good, good startup time for somebody who. Again, there's really no time limit here. I would say healthy though, to start incorporating 20 minutes, a lot of doctors, they say 30 minutes minimum. But again, if you're just starting out, like literally you're listening to this and it's day one, right after this podcast, you're going to go move 20 minutes. Like anything that doesn't sound intimidating or overwhelming to you. And if it sounds exciting, do that, lean into that. Because the evolution of all of this, once you do 10 minutes, once you do 20 minutes, you'll feel better. And within a week's time, a week, you'll feel that energy. And now you want to do it 25 minutes, 30 minutes, 35 minutes, it all starts compounding. So, like you said, consistency. Consistency, a hundred percent consistency. Yeah. I mean, just, just to add another note on that, with myself, I'm huge into intuitive movement. What does that mean? And that word intuitive, it takes the rules out of it, right? So if I say, okay, tomorrow morning I'm gonna wake up and I wanna do a 25 minute HIIT workout, and I wake up tomorrow morning and I'm like, Ugh, I don't wanna do a HIIT workout. Doesn't mean I'm not gonna move all day. Well, maybe I adjust and I'm going to do yoga instead. Maybe I'm going to do Pilates or bar, which are low impact workouts. Maybe I'm going to go walk. Maybe I'm going to go for a job. Like you have this intuitive movement so that it's more enjoyable. And that enjoyment is the root of consistency. That will keep you going. I love that. You want to know why I love that? Because what you just said right now is what people don't do on January 1st, January 1st, everybody goes to the gym. They sign up for their membership. They go in there and their first workout they do, you know, An hour and a half, two hours in there. And then they're sore. They're intimidated. They don't like the way it looks. And then they have this nice little tag on their key chain for the rest of the year. And they're so focused again. The reason why they even go on January 1st, they get that 30 day membership. It's all again, rooted in the short term vision. They want to lose the pounds quick. They're like, man, I just gained. 10, 15 pounds because of the holiday season. Now I want to lose it. New year, new me, right? Or what you said, new level, new devil. Yes. Oh, we could have a whole nother podcast. But yeah, they're so fixated on the short term and, and, you know, again, it's not even all their fault because propaganda, what is it? Like, How many gyms tell you January 1st, you get this crazy deal and, you know, take this weight loss program or this pill or whatever, it's always like lose the pounds quick. And that is just such a toxic perspective to come from. Again, it's coming from self hate and not to mention when you go to the gym, it's not an enjoyable experience. experience for you because now you're surrounded by all these people again, all those thoughts and opinions are racing through your head of like, what are they thinking about me? What do I look like? And so you don't enjoy your two hours at the gym. So now you feel bad and then you're not going to want to go back. I think you were telling me earlier, it's like after six days of January, like January 6th, people quit. People stop going or after the sixth time they've gone to the gym is the magic number of like, Hey, and then they start, you know, justifying it. And then you mentioned about the pill, you know, the, or the medicine or the supplements, because I didn't realize this, but obviously it's understandable. It's a multi billion dollar industry. Let's lose weight fast. Take this. Oh my God, you will drop your, you know, lose 10 inches on your waist. If you try that. Mm hmm. Multibillion dollar industry. And your, your, your take on that is what? Well, here, here's my question. Yes. How is it a multibillion dollar industry, if it actually worked? Boom! Mic drop! I love it. If it actually worked, and if people lost weight and kept the weight off, and loved their bodies, and ate good food, why would they have to keep coming back and restarting? Yes. So, like I said earlier, it's a flawed system. It's not that people aren't good enough. It's that the system is not good enough. And it's this whole idea of you're not good enough. You're too big. You're too skinny. You're not athletic enough. You need more muscle. You need to lose weight. You need to eat better. Eat that. Don't eat that. It's all these mixed measuring, measuring the fat index with this and that. It's like a whole job and it just gets very overwhelming and it gets very stressful and it just takes all the fun out of it and it's not enjoyable and I hate to say this but that's the reality of it and I've seen it now time and time again with every single client that I've worked It always comes back down to What are the messages that they are being fed? And so I think my perspective is so different. Like the fact that I'm even talking about self love versus self hate, like, why is that such a foreign concept? It's foreign because no one talks about it. Right. And so, yeah, I could go on a whole tangent on self love versus self hate, but even inner work and journaling through it. And yeah, there's a lot that goes into it. Yeah, well, you have definitely dropped a lot of a lot of nuggets and fire on this. So as we wrap this up, Katya, first off, thank you so much. Like what you've, what you've said over here, this was just an amazing, amazing, amazing conversation. And I know for a fact right now, there is a Guy, there is a girl listening to this podcast right now that is struggling right now with their body image. They are struggling with the way they look. They are struggling with being confident with themselves. They are self hating versus self loving. How can they get in touch with Katya? Because you are, this is your specialty. You are crushing in this world. I've seen personally how many people you've helped and change their lives. How can they reach out and connect with you, Katya? Instagram. I am so active on Instagram. You can find me at Katia dot Lillian. It's just my name. And we'll have that on the show notes as well. We'll have everything on there with whatever it is that you want to provide. Yeah, I keep it. I keep it super simple. Just it's easier to find me. My handle is my name, Katia Lillian. And. I think right away, you know, start a DM conversation with me. Don't be shy, just be like, Hey, I heard you on the podcast. And this message really resonated with me. And I think if we just start a conversation that can go a long way for you. Cause all I'm trying to do is help you and expand your mind a little bit. Also my content, of course, that will help you. So Instagram, I'm the most active on. You can also find me on Tik TOK. You can also find me on Facebook. book, my website, www. katialillian. com. You can email me hello at katialillian. com, but I would say the biggest one is Instagram, just in terms of me being the most active there. Sweet. And as I said, we'll have all that information on the, on the show notes. Katya, thank you. Thank you. Thank you for taking time out of your crazy day and giving value to so many people. It was a beautiful conversation. I appreciate it. Of course. And that's that. 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