From Teacher to Coach: Fix Your Negative Language & Heal Your Food Relationship w/ Laura Banks

In this episode, I am joined by Laura Banks.

Laura  is a holistic nutrition health coach and she helps women build healthy habits that they can actually stick to. Laura gives women the education and mindset shifts they need so that they can stop yo yo dieting and finally feel in control with food. Laura found me through my podcast and she really liked my story and just resonated so hard with my body image episode and my binge eating history.

In this episode, we discuss the following: 

• Her journey leaving her teaching job for her now coaching career
• How she helps women transform their relationship with food & exercise
• The domino effect health has on other areas of your life
• How to identify negative language & how to change that
• What the hardest part was building a biz coach
• What advice she would give early & aspiring coaches

You can find Laura here -->

• Instagram
• Isn't She Powerful podcast

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Transcript

0:00

Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the building her podcast. I'm your host Katya Lillian. If you've been loving this podcast, go ahead and rate the podcast five stars and DM me on Instagram when you do that, because I want to connect and personally thank you. If you are new here, hit that subscribe button. It really helps the podcast grow and that way you will never miss an episode. So let's dive in. Today on the podcast, we have Ms. Laura Banks. She is a holistic nutrition health coach and she helps women build healthy habits that they can actually stick to. Laura gives women the education and mindset shifts they need so that they can stop yo yo dieting and finally feel in control with food. Laura found me through my podcast and she really liked my story and just resonated so hard with my body image episode and my binge eating history. And so she DM'd me on Instagram, inviting me to speak to that for her audience on her podcast, Isn't She Powerful. And when I read her DM and then saw her Instagram and listened to a few of her episodes as well I was like, this is a match made in heaven. This sounds so good I jumped at the opportunity and then I also just felt like I wanted her on the podcast because she's now a coach and she does this full time she left her teaching career and Gets to help women transform their relationship with food and exercise and therefore body and themselves, which has this domino effect into other areas of their life with money and religion and societal systems and thought patterns. I mean, you name it. So we really have such a good, powerful conversation today because We dive into her zone of genius, which is health. We talk about sugar cravings, how to identify their root cause and stop them from happening. We talk about how to heal your relationship with food and how to know if it's broken. We talk about getting rid of the all or nothing mindset and understanding where it comes from and the secrets to building realistic and sustainable healthy habits. In addition to that, we talk about the language that you use. I asked her so many questions about how she was able to identify her own thoughts versus, her inner critic or her dad or her mom or anything that was placed upon her as a belief system and how she was able to break away from that. And then also. The business side of things. What's the hardest part about being a coach and being a business owner and advice that she would give early and aspiring coaches who are just getting started. So we cover quite a bit, but I'm just so happy that I was able to interview a fellow coach and then talk about some real things health wise, but also business and. Self worth things so you guys are in for a treat today. I will let you get to the episode Hey, my name is Kati Lillian, and I am obsessed with all things mindset, personal development, and helping you build the best version of yourself. I'm a women's life and mindset coach and an entrepreneur who started a fun hobby of posting hashtag sweaty selfies, grew a successful side hustle, and now I run a six figure coaching business. I teach you the secret of building a life that aligns with your deepest values and one that you wake up excited for. This podcast is designed to expand your mind and. Challenge the status quo. So get ready to uplevel your life and let's start building her. Hi, Laura. I am so happy we're doing this today. Thank you for being here on the podcast. Hi. Thank you so much. I'm so excited to get to be on their show. Yay. For, for you guys who don't know Laura, um, we are, can I say DM buddies? Sure. Yes. I love that. Laura, Laura dmd me on Instagram, um, gosh, just a few weeks ago, and asked if I wanted to be on her podcast. She discovered me through building her, and so it was a no brainer. I, I saw your Instagram account. I listened to a few of your episodes, and I was like, um, duh. Let's do this thing. So we decided to be here today on the podcast. I'm just so excited and I'm so grateful for you as a fellow coach to be on building her. Yeah, I'm so excited too. Like I said, like you said, I've been listening to your podcast for a while and I feel like the things that you chat about I very much resonate with. So I'm excited that I get to come on and get to be a part of it. Awesome. Well, I have so much to ask you today, and I have some specific topics that I wanna focus on. Before I dive into it, I'd love to hear a little bit more of who Laura was before she became a health coach, and then what ultimately inspired you to become a health coach yourself? Yeah. You know, I grew up in a very small town in South Carolina. I did not grow up in a, what one would maybe call a healthy family. I grew up in a very, um, average southern family. We ate a lot of fried foods. We, you know, my favorite vegetable growing up was macaroni and cheese. That's what I thought a vegetable was. I thought vegetables were side dishes. Like I didn't understand. Those were different. We didn't eat a lot of colorful foods in my family. Um, the focus was. You know, always on desserts and, and carbs, and I never understood the impact of eating that way. Grew up watching so many of my family members struggle with their weight, struggle with their body image, struggle with different health diseases, you know, heart disease, cancer, type two diabetes, and never put two and two together of why that was happening. Um. Whenever I got to college, I, you know, was so I well back up in high school, kind of developed a little bit of a, uh, eating disorder. I wouldn't have called it that at the time though. Looking back, that is, you know what it was. I was waking up every day and deciding that I wasn't gonna eat that day, and so I would just not eat. Pretty much the whole day I would, um, skip breakfast, telling my mom I was going to eat breakfast at school and then I would skip lunch telling my family that, or telling my friends that I'd had a big breakfast with my family. I would eat dinner most of the times'cause I was starving by the end of the day and just did not have the strength. And I'm using air quotes there because that's what I thought it was. I thought that I just wasn't strong enough to not eat and so I was gonna be fat forever. These are the things that I would tell myself. And then in college I've. Finally found like my, my group of girls that I felt really comfortable and really confident with. And so I would, uh, go out to eat a lot with them. We ate a lot of Chick-fil-A. Chick-fil-A knew who I was when I rolled up in the drive-thru. Knew exactly what I wanted, called me by name. And so we ate a lot of fast food, ate a lot of dessert. Um. I ended up gaining a good bit of weight during college, and then after college was whenever I decided I, I really do want to do something different. Like, I don't, I don't wanna keep feeling this way because I was not able to go all day without getting sick like I would, I would feel physically sick. Sick Pretty much every single day I would need a nap. Um, like I said, I was nauseous on my stomach most of the days because I ate a lot more sugar than anything else. I had very intense sugar cravings and so I decided I wanted to do something different. And, um, whenever Covid happened, I was teaching third grade at the time. I taught third grade for five years. And so when Covid happened, I, um. Decided that I would use that free time that I had at that time to start working on myself. And so I started exercising more consistently. I started trying to learn more about nutrition, understand what I'd never understood before. And through that experience, I ended up losing 30 pounds and healing my relationship with food. And it was obviously a very long process. It took me about two years to do all the things that I'm talking about here. Um, in, in terms of. Healing my relationship with food, getting rid of my all or nothing mindset, building habits that I actually felt good doing, not doing it from a place of restriction. It took time to build that, but um, I. That's kind of what led me to becoming a coach was that I finally decided that I wanted to do something different and fell in love with the process of it, and was documenting my, uh, all of my workouts. I would like put my phone up on, on, on the side and video myself working out, just posted them to my stories and through that built a lot of friendships with my regular friends, like friends that already followed me and they just started reaching out to me more. And so I. Kind of just like really enjoyed being an authority figure in the space of health and wellness, and that's kind of what led me to quitting my teaching job and starting health coaching. Yay. Oh my gosh. Well, good for you. And I just love that story. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. It reminds me a lot of just my eating disorder struggles and I opened up on a few of my podcast episodes about my binge eating and um, just some of the stuff that you mentioned, like starving yourself and skipping breakfast, like I resonate with that so much. I don't know if you heard my episode where I was talking about big brother slop, like we thought that would be a good idea. Yes. Me, my sister, and my mom. Uh, my gosh. But, um, so when you, you just mentioned like, I thought I would be fat forever and just some of the, the toxic language, let's call it. When did you, you said, I decided I wanted different, what, was there like a breaking point? Was there some kind of aha moment or was it truly just a decision of like, all right, no more. Let's change this. You, I would say there were probably two moments. One of them was whenever I decided that I wanted to lose weight, that I was tired of looking in the mirror and seeing what I saw and tired of feeling the way that I felt in my clothes. And that was, I went, I'm a Clemson Tigers football fan, fan of them in general, and um, grew up pulling for them. So not a bandwagon here, not that they're that great anymore anyway, but. Uh, all of that aside, um, I, you know, went to a, they had like a fan day, and this was after college. This was a year or so after college. Um, I was still in that phase of like eating whatever, never exercising, but constantly feeling. Horrible. And so we were, we went to this game day and we got to meet all of our favorite players. I got to meet my favorite player, which is T Higgins, and I made a t-shirt that said, this is my favorite T-shirt. Um, I was so excited for it, had my Instagram caption picked out, like knew what I wanted this to look like, and I saw the picture that I took with him, and I was so embarrassed of what that picture looked like, and I never posted it. Um. And was just really like disappointed and that was the moment that I was like, something's gotta change. Nothing did change in that moment, like I didn't change anything about my habits for a a few more months. It was probably six months after that that I actually started doing something. That was the moment I decided I wanted to change though, and then the language didn't change until much later. That was well into my health journey. Whenever that language started to change my mindset. Started to shift. That was like the second phase of my health journey. The first phase was like building these habits with exercise and nutrition. The second phase was healing my relationship with food and myself and that language that I was using. Like I'll always be fat. Got it. Yeah. Um, when, when you just mentioned you were so tired of looking this way and feeling this way, I think that's so profound because I know we love to run away from pain faster than we love to run towards pleasure. So there was something about your weight and seeing that photo of just like, all right, there's enough pain here. For me to actually now do something and, and change it. My question is your circle, your, your people, your friends, your family was, was there any kind of tension, um, or, or judgment or even fear on your side of now finally like, I'm gonna do something, and then they clearly saw you change and you said you lost 30 pounds. Was there any kind of like, um, yeah. Tension or, or. Um, resistance that you had of actually making this change. And I ask you,'cause a lot of people run into that, that, that I've talked with. Yeah, I think that's a really good question. I think for me, at the phase of life that I was in, I had just, I had graduated, uh, college, like I said, and had moved. I had recently started dating who's now my husband, and so our relationship was still pretty new, pretty young. He was working on losing weight. He had torn his Achilles like right before we met, so he was like pretty bedridden. He was a very active person and couldn't be for a while, so he had put on some weight during that time, so he was trying to lose weight. That helped me because I had that kind of accountability already. I wasn't living in the same town as any of my friends anymore. I wasn't living in the same town as my family. I was pretty independent. Like that really allowed me to be myself and do these things during the week. Um, and the accountability from my boyfriend, now husband really did help as well. I will say that there were a lot of there. Like I told you, I was posting the videos of me working out online and I remember getting. Messages from people who were my good friends that were like, oh, like, oh, I see you're working out now, or what, why are you doing all of that? Or, what's your, what's your purpose for posting these? Right? Like, I know, like my, my what I thought were good friends, right? And so I really, there was a little bit of that and that did, I guess, stand out to me. It never did discourage me though, because I was feeling really good. I was feeling really confident. I was. Feeling really strong in my body. Like it, I felt really, I got more good comments than bad comments and that was so helpful to me. Had I been getting just negative comments, it probably would've stopped me, but I was getting a lot of positive feedback, which really did help me. I was building a community far before I meant to be building a community. I was really, and that building that community helps community is. So important when it comes to, you know, anything in life, community is super important. Yeah. Uh, this reminds me so much of my story. You're bringing me back to my Chicago days. I moved to Chicago from la and so I was also so far removed from old coworkers, old friends, and I felt like Chicago was like my playground, I call it. Mm-hmm. Of just trying new things and meeting new people, and I had this genuine childlike curiosity, and so it allowed me to step into this new version of myself that I was building. So it sounds a lot like that. A little bit, especially with your courage to document your workouts. You know how many people I coach and they're like, I can't post on. Instagram, I can't show my face. Right. But you're like, Nope, we're gonna document workouts. And so where did that courage come from for, for the girl that's listening who is so fearful of posting on Instagram because of exactly what you just said, some of those hateful comments or having others judge you, what? What would you say? I guess two questions. Where did the courage come from? And then what would be the advice to someone wanting to post on Instagram, but just so afraid I. Yeah. You know, I think, uh, there was somebody that I looked up to a lot who was doing that, who was posting videos of themselves working out, and it was such a lonely time. This was right whenever Covid was starting. And so everybody was, we, it was in that every two weeks we found out our fate time, where we're like, are we going back to work? Are we not? Like, what's happening? And so it was. Kind of, it was a lonely time. I was at home. I, I lived on my own at the time in a town where I didn't really know anybody other than my coworkers. So we were all very lonely. And so it, for me, it was a way to connect with other people and just a way to not feel quite as alone in what I was going through, and also a way to help somebody else not feel alone. I didn't look perfect doing these workouts, like I was barely getting down. In a squat, like I was not doing anything super exciting or beautiful or wonderful, but the comments that I started getting were, you're inspiring me. I wanna start working out more because of you. And those comments really did help keep me going, I think for somebody who is wanting to start showing up in that way. Think about, how would it feel for you if you were a person who was, you know, needing that kind of inspiration? Whatever it is you help people with. For me it's health. If I was wanting that inspiration, wouldn't I want the person who's doing it to be showing up? Wouldn't I want that kind of advice, that big sister love show up as the person that you needed whenever you were starting your journey. Yeah. Oh, that's so beautiful. And community is so huge. You, you hit the nail on the head with that one. I remember I was so lonely when I moved to Chicago. I didn't know anyone. I moved there for a remote job, like no coworkers, no family, no friends. And so fitness was actually my. Way to meet people. I actually used ClassPass, um, so I could hop around from studio to studio. And then I also, um, joined the Tone It Up community and so it was like hashtag T IU Chicago and then they'd have meetups and events and things like that. Yeah. Um, so yeah, community is so powerful. I also love what you said of how. It, it kind of like the positive outweighs the negative. And so you had a lot of positive reinforcement it sounds like, from girls in your community telling you how inspiring you are versus the, the negative. And so it's like that was louder and it drowned out the negativity. Um, I, I think what I also like to tell people, if you're listening to this right now and you're afraid of posting on Instagram, if you can just help one person on the other side of that phone. You've done your job right, like that. That's the reason why you posted the reel. That's the reason why you showed up on stories. If there's one person that you positively impacted, that's it. That's why you showed up. So I think that's so beautiful. Um, earlier in the conversation you mentioned the all or nothing mindset and just understanding even what that is and where it comes from. Could you talk to us a little bit about that? Yeah, absolutely. You know, just to kind of go back for one second before I answer that question, I do think that people are far more vocal about things that are, oh, they're more vocal when they're saying something negative than when they're saying something positive. Yes. So, you know, even if you post something online and people don't automatically say. Wow, this was amazing. Thank you so much for this. Whatever you're inspiring me, whatever. They're, you're gonna get more of the comments maybe in the beginning of like, what do you think you're doing? Who do you think you are? Those are the people that you know are not there for you, and they might not be in your circle anymore, but I promise you there are people listening. They're the silent stalkers who are there, who are listening, who are watching, who are being impacted by what you're saying. So. Keep that in mind too, but going back to the all or nothing mindset I my all or nothing mindset developed very young and to me it always goes back to my school age. Whenever I was really little, if I made a grade that wasn't a plus, then I would be like, gosh, you know, I would start beating myself up about it. I remember the first time I got a B on an interim report card that I was like crying in my bedroom when my mom came home from school. School, I just knew they were gonna be so mad at me because I got a B and she was like, it'll be fine. Like it's a B, it's not that big of a deal. Um, but to me it was because my dad had always said. Anything worth doing is worth doing. Well, it is worth doing, right? Right. Anything worth doing is worth doing, right. And I, for so long thought that meant I had to be perfect. If I wasn't doing it perfectly, what was the point in doing it at all? And that started to transfer into a lot of other areas of my life too. So I think looking back now, I'm able to see, okay, well that obviously impacted me in sports as a kid. Like I decided, well, you know, I'm not always. Starting on the softball team, so I'm just gonna quit because why am I here if I'm not starting? Oh, well, you know, I'm not, I'm still like saying curse words and drinking with my friends, so why would I go to church? Like God doesn't want me if I'm not perfect? You know? It started to become something where it was like. Every area of my life was impacted by this all or nothing mindset. And I didn't know it until I started to heal that part of me with my food. But once I did, I started to realize, wow, like now I'm okay with having a relationship with God. Even if I do say a cuss word every once in a while, you know, like he still wants me. It's fine. I don't have to be perfect. And so getting rid of that all or nothing mindset really was huge in helping me build sustainability with a lot of areas of my life. Yeah. Oh, I have so much to say on that. And first of all, I curse all the time, but it, it, it just shows like I'm so passionate about something. I just feel like it communicates the energy behind my words so much more. So yes, yes. To cursing. Um, okay. Love your answer. And I'm gonna circle back to it, but what you had mentioned before about still the posting. Keyboard warriors came up for me. So when someone has something very negative to say, they're just like these keyboard warriors, they feel so safe, they feel unseen. So interesting. When I get negative comments, they don't even have like a photo or it's just a weird profile. So I'm like, oh, cool, they're hiding behind something. So I just wanted to mention that. Um, and then I think also too, with the positive side and, and just. The power behind social media. I, I tell my clients usually when, when they are afraid of posting on social media, um, what is your intention with the post? Is the intention to, you know, go viral and get followers and look at me, look at me and very like, egotistical? Or is it from a place of. I wanna help someone. I really hope that like this is my story and I hope it heals someone. Like what is the intention behind your words and, and the way you're showing that. And, um, regardless then of the result and what happens, I can stand behind my content and the words and my caption because my intention is so pure. So I just wanted to bring that up because you had mentioned it. Okay, so all or nothing mindset. So it sounds like perfectionists, they fall into this mindset because they're so afraid, and correct me if I'm wrong here, I, if I don't do it all and I'm not the best, then that means I'm not. Good enough. And what's the reason why? You mentioned your dad said you need to do it well, and so then what's the point? Let's just not do it. I, is that kind of what I'm hearing and understanding? That's exactly what the all or nothing mindset is. If I don't do it perfectly, I might as well not do it at all. And a lot of times it does come from the idea of, well, I'm not worthy if I'm not doing it well enough. And so why am I doing it at all, right? Like I, I might be worthy if I don't try to do it at all because I'm not doing it well. So let me just stay away from it so that I don't hurt myself. I. Ah, okay. Let's dive into that a little bit more with the worthiness. So you mentioned you discovered this all or nothing mindset through food and, and the changes that you made, and then you saw how it kind of bled into other areas of your life. So what, what was not worthy about you? Like where was that picked up in your life? I honestly, at such a young age and, and you know, our, all, all of our beliefs about who we are, not all of them, most of them, most of our beliefs about who we are start at a very young age. And I think for me, I just started to believe that, like I said, if I was not doing something, uh, to the, the most perfect way, uh, you know, and I always think back to like. Growing up my, we used to help my dad with like projects and things like that around the house. And so my sister and I would always be the one holding the flashlight, hold it right here. Why aren't you holding the flashlight in the right spot? You know what I mean? And it was like we always had to be so perfect. And if we weren't perfect, then we would get fuss at, or we, we would be made to know that we weren't being. Doing what we should have been doing. And I think I started to have this fear of, well, I don't want to get yelled at. I don't wanna get fussed at, I don't want this outcome. And so I'm, you know, scared to try anything new because I don't want to not be perfect because I know the result that that leads to. Wow, that's so powerful and just, I'm so proud of you to have come so far and to become a coach and start your own business and look at everyone that you're helping and impacting now because of your own journey. So that's really, really powerful. You're moving it forward. Um. So what you just mentioned, do it right from your dad. You actually mentioned right twice now, and I think that's so profound. I just wanna pause on that because I listened to a few of your episodes where you talk about the power of language and the, the self-sabotage nature in that, right? So. Just that word. Right. It feels maybe small, but for you to feel like, Ooh, I'm not doing it right. How did that language impact you, and then more importantly, how were you able to even discover, okay, maybe that's like my dad talking in my head right now. Right. That's like his belief system. How did you break away from that? Yeah. I had to, I had to start being okay with. Knowing that the way that I was spoken to or the language that I heard as a child is not always. Is not what I want to carry into adulthood. And I still feel there's still a little bit of like guilt around that. Like, I love my parents. They're great parents. They did wonderful raising me, and they absolutely did the best that they could. You know, like, and, and don't get me wrong, they're amazing. I love them. They're wonderful, but at the same time. There were definitely some things that, because of the way that they spoke to me, about me, around me, led me to feeling certain ways about myself, about food, about life in general. Right? And so I think that I had to get really comfortable with, with the idea of knowing that it wasn't. Necessarily me speaking, right? Like that was, that was for me was the first step of like, now I'm kind of understanding that I first have to be comfortable with that because if I'm not comfortable with know with that knowing I'm never gonna change it. So I had to get really comfortable with the knowing of it. And then once I got comfortable with the knowing of it, then I was able to say, okay, in this moment. Is my dad speaking? Is that the truth that I want to live with anymore? Is that the way that I want to continue to approach this situation? And if it is not, then how can I just adjust that language to make it something that does lead to the outcome that I want? So maybe instead of saying Anything worth doing is worth doing, right, I would say if you want to do it, then, then take a chance. Try it. It's okay if it's not right, it's okay If it's not perfect, you know, the only way for you to get better at it is to try. A lot of women who I work with, they, they're not comfortable and confident cooks and they want to be because of course that helps them eat healthier foods at home and, you know, not go through the drive through as much or whatever. Cook better foods for their family members who might be picky. I work with a lot of women who have picky eater children and husbands, and so, you know, a lot of that comes from experimenting. It comes from you being okay with not necessarily cooking the greatest food the first time, but you try again the next time. It's like that with. Everything. And you know, you work with a lot of women who are business owners. The first reel you post is probably not gonna be like the greatest. You're gonna look back and you're gonna be like, well, that looked silly, you know, or My voice sounded horrible, or whatever. But the only way to get to your hundredth reel is to do the first one. The only way to get great at cooking broccoli is to cook it horrible the first time. I, I laugh because I've cooked broccoli horribly a few times. It's a hard one. That's why I mentioned that. Yeah. Before I perfected it. Um, no, that's so profound and I'm so glad we're talking about this because you just mentioned just. Knowing and being comfortable knowing, okay, is that my dad talking? And if it is, what do I choose to believe instead? And so that phrase you just mentioned, what is the phrase that he said? You said it so fast. Anything worth doing is worth doing. Right. Oh, like the fact that you already are aware of, oh, that's my dad talking, let me reframe. Right. Let me redefine. Um. That it is so powerful. And a lot of my clients, they don't know who their thoughts are coming from. Right? Like, they don't know how to distinguish. Is that my dad? Is that my mom? Is that my teacher? Or is that like whoever? Um, so did someone teach you that? Or how did, how did you become aware of. Oh, that's my dad. Oh, because, because I talk about inner critic a lot, right? Mm-hmm. And inner critic is kind of like this compilation of everyone and their opinions. And so someone, if you think like, you're not good enough, you're fat, you're not worth it, blah, blah, blah. It's like, okay, hold up. Hold up. Is that me? Is that not mean? Could this have been picked up somewhere along the way? Okay. Is this an opinion or a fact? No, it's an opinion. Okay, cool. Do we disagree or agree? Right. And we kind of like dissect it. So how did you become aware of, I guess, your inner critic? I. Yeah, I think for me, I went on a journey in in 2024, so this is pretty recent. Yeah. Of really paying attention to the language that I'm using and paying attention to. I'm describing foods as good or bad, but what really what I mean is that, you know, it wasn't good for me. It wasn't helpful. Right. Like that's really what I'm saying. Even though we're using words like good or bad, and when we give food a moral value, it's good or it's bad. We're saying, I'm good because I ate this, or I'm bad because I ate that. I started there through so I could heal myself, and then I started paying attention to my language around money. I started paying attention to my language around all these other areas of my life, and I started to notice that a lot of what I was saying. Came from mostly my parents. So the way the beliefs that they have about money, the beliefs that they have about religion, the beliefs that they have about the systems around us through society, a lot of my beliefs were stemming from that. And I started asking myself like, is that really what I wanna believe anymore? Do I really wanna believe that you have to work really hard for money? That money goes away really fast whenever you get it, that it's fleeting. Do I really wanna believe that anymore? And, uh, the answer is no. I don't wanna believe that. I'm choosing not to believe that. And so from there I start to work on rebuilding that and, and changing my language around it. Yeah. And so that eventually it can change the outcome. So. Oh, that's so cool. So, um, we're gonna be here for a while, you guys just to get comfortable. Um, okay. So the language that you used around food was the tipping point for it to bleed into other areas like money, religion, uh, you mentioned societal systems and you recognize that it came from your parents. So the language with food. It sounds like you were really able to heal your relationship with food through the use of language. Am I understanding that right? Yeah, that would be absolutely accurate. And, and like I said, I first started with understanding that the way I'm speaking about food leads to me believing things about myself, right?'cause I think of food of this way, I'm thinking of myself this way. Got it. So when you knew how. Your relationship with food was broken, was that through language or was there any other reasons that came up to the surface for you? I started to realize that I had a broken relationship with food when I started abusing food, and that started about a year and a half into my weight loss journey. I was like really in a very bad place with eating sugar. In, in excess consistently. Like it, it started with, you know, me waking up in the mornings and here goes the language. I'm gonna be good today. I'm not gonna eat any sugar today. So I was equating being good with not eating any sugar. And then throughout the day, all I would say. Say was, no, Laura, we're not getting sugar today. We're being good today. No, Laura and I would tell myself, we're not allowed to have this and we're being good. Right? And so then in the afternoons at, like I said, I was still teaching at that time. And so when the school bell would ring, I would finally be in the classroom all by myself for the first time all day. I would turn the lights out, I would close the blinds. I would pretend like I wasn't there, and I would eat. So much candy. It was to the point where it was like four to five days a week that I was doing this, and I would end up leaving school sick on my stomach. And so that was whenever I realized something is wrong, like this is not normal. My husband had a conversation with me where he was like, Laura, you've got to change. Like this is not okay. You can't keep doing this to yourself. Um. And that, that stemmed because I, I still had more weight that I wanted to lose. I was getting, I was engaged, so we were gonna be married soon. I wanted to look great at my wedding. And so I was trying to be so good, and that led to me binge eating in the afternoons. And it led to all of these outcomes of me not liking the way that I looked, because of course, you know, I was equating my value to the foods that I was eating. I wasn't eating good food. Food. So I looked in the mirror and told myself I was so fat. You wouldn't be so fat if you would just be stronger and not eat that sugar. And so I started to. Understand the connection between I'm waking up in the mornings, I'm saying this language to myself of be good. That's then leading to me all day long, telling myself I can't have this, which is then leading to me binge eating, which is then leading to more language that is harmful and telling myself that I'm fat and ugly and all these things, which is then leading to me starting the next day the exact same way. So I realized this cycle of it really all starts with how I'm speaking to myself. A hundred percent. And this is what I always share with my clients, um, is detecting the inner critic. I think that's where it always starts, because, and, and if, for those that are listening and they don't know what I'm talking about with the inner critic, it's very, very easy to separate and to distinguish. When you think something, does it feel empowering or does it feel disempowering? So to your point, you're looking in the mirror and you're like, oh, I'm so fat. Oh, I wasn't good today. Does that feel good for you? Does that make you feel empowered? Probably not. And so it's like, okay, let's change that. Let's change that language to make us feel much better and much more empowered And, um. Then we kind of just go down that route much more often. And then you start to change The way you start to think, like on a very psychological level, it's called neuroplasticity. And so different neurons, I think it's called fire together, wire together or something like that. So our brains can actually change. So now I feel like the, the version of Laura that I'm talking to, you've come so far with your language where you can even pick up like, oh. That's disempowering. Oh, I was mean to myself. Let's switch it to empowering. Would you agree with that? Oh, yeah. There's still days when I look in the mirror and I, I will immediately say, you look fat today. And then immediately before it even comes outta my mouth, just the thought of it is me saying, why did you say that? Why, why are you thinking that about yourself? So a me like it has gotten to where it's super intertwined, where I'm like, okay. I know that this is not supportive of what, what I, how I wanna feel where I wanna go. Even still though, those, those languages still come up sometimes. Yeah, absolutely. We're all human for me too. I think it's really important to note though, that you get stronger with it and you get hyper aware of it, and so you can like. You know, nip it in the bud right off, right off the bat. You know what I mean? Like, you're like, I thought it, and you're like, oh, nope, nope, that doesn't feel good. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, you can detect it much more easily. You mentioned candy and, and eating it all the time. And, um, you said you would go home like feeling sick from, uh, from school. Talk to me about those cravings, those sugar cravings. Like, like where did they come from? If you could explain like the root cause. Yeah, this is my favorite topic to talk about because that was my biggest transformation that I've experienced in my life, was me getting rid of those sugar cravings. They had such a hold on me for far longer than I realized, like they were a huge part of the reason why I gained my weight, the reason why I couldn't lose weight, the reason why I was so mean to myself. They were there all along. I just didn't always realize it, and I didn't come to. Such a strong head as they did in that year that I really had to go on that journey. What I started doing was categorizing my cravings into two boxes, either emotional cravings or physical cravings. And when I say emotional, I'm talking about like responding to an emotion through eating. I feel stressed, I feel sad, I feel angry. That's what we typically associate our cravings with, but a lot of times they are physical cravings, and so that is our body's natural reaction to. Something that we've done. It's creating a physical need in our body for sugar, and a lot of times our habits and our actions, we can just very easily adjust them to lead to a different outcome, to lead to us not even having these cravings. And it takes the blame off of us too. If I'm having an emotional craving or, or, you know, a lot of times we're having these cravings and we're thinking something's wrong with me. I'm, I'm, you know, something's wrong with me. There's a reason why I can't get away from this desire to eat sugar. But really in reality, it's just if we make one or two different choices, then we won't even have these cravings. It's not me. It's the choices that I'm making and I can easily adjust those. So it takes the blame off of us a little bit. So some of the things that cause physical cravings are. A lack of sleep. If we're not getting enough sleep at night, then we're gonna have more cravings during the day because our body gets our energy from two places, from sleep and from food. So if it's not getting enough sleep, then it's gonna want more food so that it can overcompensate for not getting enough sleep. So that's a huge reason why we have cravings. Another reason is blood sugar imbalances. We eat sugar on an empty stomach. It's. Spikes up our blood sugar and when our blood sugar spikes up, so does our dopamine. So we feel really good when our blood sugar is high, but as soon as it gets high, it's like a rollercoaster. It comes crashing down and it crashes be below our baseline, and that scares our body. So now our dopamine is low, our blood sugar is low, and our body starts to send little signals to our brain and it's like, Hey, eat more sugar because we just wanna feel good again. And so that was what I really realized I was doing. I wasn't eating enough food. I was having a sugary breakfast. If I was having breakfast at all. I was eating a lot of sugar in the afternoons on an empty stomach. This was leading to huge spikes in my blood sugar. I. Which would then lead to me having more cravings after that. And so once I realized that I was able to adjust some of my habits, I was able to adjust what I was eating. I for breakfast, I was able to start packing a snack in the afternoons that included protein or fiber or healthy fats so that my blood sugar stayed more stable. And when I made very minor adjustments to those habits, I started to realize I don't even have the sugar cravings that once completely controlled me. Got it. Wow, that's so powerful. And it's so cool that you can just adjust, you know, one or two things and it can have such a profound effect. I, I kind of laughed in my head when you said lack of sleep equals cravings because two and a half months postpartum over here. Oh my gosh. Like just last night, oh, we were tossing and turning, I would say every two, three hours she would cry, diaper, change, all the things. And um, I notice I'm like ravenous in the kitchen. I'm like, I need food. Like chocolate cookie, but grapes too, like, just anything in the kitchen, just give me it all. Um, but I'm breastfeeding as well, so I don't know if that adds to it. Yeah. But I know my body's working and burning more and all the things, but Yep, it is. Yeah. Um, you mentioned, okay, so habits. I wanna focus on that because I think when people start anything, whether that's their weight loss journey or just getting stronger or building a business or whatever the thing is, we make it like this huge thing, right? And so I'm like, let's reduce it back down to the every day the habit, like reverse engineered a little bit. So talk to us a little bit about building like these realistic and sustainable healthy habits. Yeah, I love talking about this as well, and we have already talked about, whenever we did the interview for my podcast, we talked about the importance of keeping your goals really small, and that's because it allows you to really have those wins along the way, and that's what builds up your confidence. That's what keeps the excitement going. That's what keeps you having energy and momentum. To stick with it for the long term because so many times we give up on ourselves because we're not seeing the results right away. I work with a lot of women who, they have weight loss goals. They have these big goals. They wanna heal their relationship with food. They wanna get rid of their all or nothing mindset. They want to lose the weight, like I said. Those things don't happen overnight. And so we have to focus on building habits along the way that are sustainable. And when we're doing that, it comes down to you building habits that are really tiny, really small things. The bare minimum things like if I don't do anything else today for my health, what is one thing that I can do? And really get good at doing that one thing. And over time that one thing is gonna become just something that you naturally do. Then you can add on one more new thing. I like to have my clients do weekly goals, and so they'll do a nutrition goal, an exercise goal, and a water goal every single week. And these are, it is just one thing. I'm not telling you that you have to eat, you know, a balanced meal for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack. I'm just telling you, choose one of those meals and then once you've gotten really great at having a balanced meal at that time, then we can add on and do the next one. Then we can add on and do the next one. So get really good at that. And. I think another big piece of it. Is learning to reflect on how, how did I do last week with my goals? How did I do with the things that I said? I said last week that I was gonna eat a well-balanced dinner. How did I do with that? And get really good at asking yourself that question from a place of curiosity rather than judgment. And so a lot of times we ask ourselves that question and we didn't eat a well balanced dinner, but twice. And so we're like, gosh, of course I didn't eat that. I, I knew I wouldn't. It's like every other time I've never been consistent with it, and we start beating ourselves up. Instead, ask yourself, why wasn't I able to be consistent with it last? Week, what stood in my way? What was the challenge? What was the barrier? And then ask yourself, how could I remove that barrier? Mm-hmm. Or if you were great at it last week, ask yourself, what made that easy for me? How? Why was I able to do that? And then apply that to other things. Or ask yourself, how can I continue making it that easy? How can I continue? Doing that thing so that it is that easy for me every single week. So I think, uh, the curiosity versus judgment is a place that I really have to help my clients with. It goes back to the language mm-hmm. Where we really wanna beat ourselves up, but instead we approach it from a place of love. Yeah, I just, I'm kind of laughing to myself because as you're talking Laura, people can't see this, but I'm scribbling like crazy because I'm taking so many notes. I'm like, oh my gosh, I have so much to say. Um, so James Clear, he's the author of Atomic Habits. He's the human behavioral psychologist. I feel like I talk about him all the time, but he talks about the concept systems versus willpower and if you can systemize your approach, right, like. Having the big water bottle that we're drinking from right now, but putting it like front and center in your kitchens, the first thing you see, making sure that water is full or the bottle is full. Um, have like a bowl of apples and oranges and like healthy options right there, front and center on your countertop versus like snicker bars or something like making the. System work for you versus relying on willpower. Like there's donuts everywhere and there's, I don't know if I'm thinking of like high sugar options and you have to say, oh no. Like, oh, I'll skip it this time. It's like, let's not even have the donuts, right? Mm-hmm. Um, and so with the system, very similar to what I mentioned on your podcast with the interview, it's like the system is the problem, I'm not the problem. And it sounds like you help your clients with that, right? Like separate us. From the problem, it's like, no, what's, what's just the system that has a gap or an issue that we need to solve versus you are the problem? So that, that's so profound, and I love that. Um, okay. So I really want to talk a little bit here about business since we have a lot of early and aspiring coaches in the audience. And I just love that we talk about health so much and how it had such a huge impact on your, let's call it transformation, but also now leading into leaving your job as a teacher and building your own business. Like that's such a huge transformation. I have to talk about it. So. Um, with your health, it sounds like you just really got it under control, had such a huge change. You were documenting as you were doing this, so a lot of women noticed you and you were inspiring and I'm sure they asked you questions and you're like, okay, let's help other women do this thing. Um, but it had to take you getting. To a good place first, right? Like you were your first client, I like to say. Mm-hmm. And so now it's like your business is a reflection of you, right? So you are thriving, you are killing it, you're doing well, and so hence, your business is also doing well. I find so many people who want the business so much, but then it's like they kind of leave themselves in the dust, or they could also adopt. Really, um, negative habits and, you know, I don't know, stay up all night or whatever they need to do. Very hustle culture. So what would you say? As a coach now and owning your own business, what was like the hardest part of this journey for you? Maybe if you could think in the early days, or maybe it's coming up now, what, what's like a, or top three if you have several, but what's the the hardest part of being a coach and building and owning your own business? I think that in the beginning it was one I, I'll, I'll give two answers. One was developing the systems and I think that's something I'm still working on doing. I've been coaching a little over a year and a half now, um, and full time. So I've been away from teaching for a little over a year and a half now, and. Developing the systems of like the routines of, you know, I don't have to do everything all day. There are times and places for all of these things. These are client days, these are behind the scenes days. This is whenever I, you know, make my Instagram posts. Building out those routines and systems has been huge for me because if I didn't have that, then I would've felt like. Just lost all the time. I felt like I was drowning constantly whenever I didn't have some routines and systems in place. But I think the other thing was like finding, like you said, the balance between personal time and work time. Because for me, I, when I quit my teaching job, I was full on like, I want this thing to, you know, skyrocket in the next six months. Like I wanted it to be the biggest thing ever. And I think that for me. I had spent so much of my life like, so I've had so many of my things, so many things in my life that did go well. I'd been working on building this community for so long prior to me leaving teaching. I started it probably, I. Two and a half years before I actually started trying to make it a job. And so it had been a fun thing for a very long time. I thought, this is gonna explode right away. Like I've been at this for a long time and it didn't. Of course it didn't, right? Like people were used to just seeing me as the girl who posted. Workouts and now all of a sudden I was trying to sell them something and so they had to get used to seeing me in that new way, right? They had to get used to me talking to them in a different way, and that's okay. It just wasn't what I expected. And so I think adjusting my expectations was really important, but then finding the balance between this is work time, this is personal time. I don't have to be working all the time for this business to succeed. It's okay if I go and take a walk. It's okay if I stop and have lunch, like it's okay to take care of me first. Yeah. Yeah. I, I love that you brought up personal and work time, and I can resonate with that because when I first started my business, I was, oh my gosh, hyper masculine. I just hustled. I started mine as a side hustle from my tech company. It was like my creative outlet, my escape. Chicago posted workouts as well. But, um, I just worked around the clock because I had a full-time job and so I woke up early in the mornings, uh, lunch break. There was no break. I was working evenings. I would say no to dinners, friend meetups, whatever to work. And it didn't hit me or dawn on me until like two years doing that in Chicago where I was like reflecting on my first two years in Chicago. And I was like, wow, I haven't really. Done anything. I haven't really experienced much. Who have I actually met? Right? I, I was just so head down focused on my business now I do feel like that served me and my business to a certain point. I think it sped up time for me'cause I just did a lot and, and failed a lot, if you will. But now as a mom, I'm like, whoa, like this does not serve me anymore. And I've had to lean into the trust of. Working less and making more. Is okay. Like it's going to happen. Yeah. You're, you're nodding your head. What kind of reframes did you have to make to separate yourself from working all the time? Like you mentioned work, work, work, but then also like, okay, no, I get to have some personal time. Like how did you separate that? Because I know a lot of people, especially if you're earlier spying, you are hungry. Right, like you just said, like, I want my business to blow up. I want my Instagram to blow up. And then when it doesn't happen, it's like, okay, what are we doing here? Mm-hmm. Yeah. I think similar to you, I was teaching full-time whenever I was getting started with my business, and so I would work on the weekends. Because that's when I had to work. I would work late into the night, like I would meet with clients at like 9:00 PM because that was just the time of day that I had available to do it. And so once I didn't have my full-time job anymore, I was like, wait, I can meet during the day. I, I don't have to. And it felt wrong to not work all day every day because that was what I thought it took to get to that point. And so I really had to get okay with, it's okay if I, you know. Take an hour to watch a TV show in the middle of the day, like, I built this business so that I could have freedom with my life so that I didn't have to be bound to a schedule anymore. It's okay to take that, to lean into that, and I think a lot of it goes back to the way that I spoke to myself, the beliefs that I had, the language that I was using. You mentioned money and that was a huge area of growth for me in, in 2024, was me getting comfortable with. Changing my beliefs about money and, and, and really changing my language around it. Like I said before, like I thought that money was fleeting. I thought that it, you had to work hard to earn it. And I started using the phrase money flows to me. Mm-hmm. And that doesn't mean that, you know, I. I have to work for it. It doesn't mean that I have to do anything. The money just flows to me because it's, it's there for me. It's an unlimited resource that I get to have. I trust that it's gonna flow back. If I get rid of it, it will come back to me and I trust that and I know that. And now I've, I have evidence of that. I started looking for evidence of that being true for a lot of areas of my life, but especially money because I feel like that was a really big, broken relationship that I had. Coming into starting a business and being fully reliant on myself to make my money right. Like I had had a stable, steady income for five years as a teacher. I knew what I was gonna get every month and then leaving that, it was like, where's my money gonna come from? Who's paying my bills this month? Right. So I had to really get okay with being like, money will flow back to me. It's okay. And, and really using that language with money. Yeah. Yeah. So powerful. And I completely resonate with the evidence piece. I was just going to say, uh, my brain has so much evidence because I worked so hard and I hustled. So that evidence was like, well, of course you need to work hard to make money. Like that's what you have done. To get to this point. So it has to be the same forever. And I remember I was so disappointed and almost sad with that idea.'cause I was like, I, I just can't operate at this um, level, you know, for my entire life. Especially as a mom now too. My time is so precious and limited and so I remember I had to. Start believing also money flows to me easily and I get to work less and make more. And the right clients are out there and I attract them, like, like all of these positive affirmations. Um, but I had to do a lot of money work as well to get to this point. So, um, it's interesting though how your brain starts to collect that new evidence. Right? I even if it's not in your own experience, other people. Who have done that as well, or they get to work less and make more. And there's millionaires out there that don't work that much as I do. I'm like, oh, okay. That's evidence for my brain. Mm-hmm. Um, I, I love also what you just said about like, you hit a certain point in your business. For me it was when I hit six figures. Six figures was always like the thing on the pedestal. I was like, ah, I want it so bad. And then you hit it and it's kind of like a, okay, now what? Right. Like. What did I just work so hard for? Like of course the money is amazing. So blessed and grateful, but at the same time it's like, well, what's the next level here? Right? The goalposts are always moving. And so I had to have a moment where I was like, what am I doing all this for? And what I realized is like, I want the life of my dreams and my business is just a piece of that, right? The business is the fuel for the life that I want, but it's not the other way around where the business is on the pedestal. So I just wanted add that in. Well, and I think too, like I had to get comfortable with saying. The only thing stopping me from having that life right now is myself. Mm-hmm. Like I can have that. I have the time freedom to do that. I'm choosing to spend my time working. I could choose to spend my time doing whatever I wanna choose to spend my time doing. Yeah. Because I know in the end, the money will continue to flow to me. The clients will be served. I know that I have the capacity for that and to do the things that I want to be doing. At the same time, like I had to get comfortable with that idea as well. Uh, I love that so much. I could talk to you all day, but I wanna be sensitive to your time and I'm respectful. I have one last question for you. Since I have a lot of coaches in my space and who listen to this, what advice would you give an early or aspiring coach who is just getting started in today's world? What would you tell them? What's coming up for me right now is to go for it. There's somebody out there who needs what you've been through. And for me it was always like, well, what, what do I like? What can I give? Right? Like who, what makes me special? I'm just a girl. I'm just a girl. And what I realized was there's so many people out there who need what I teach, what I know, what I've been through that can learn from my experiences. And even though. They are just like all the other experiences that so many other people have had. One, I've made it to the other side of those experiences and they haven't. And that makes me an authority over them that I can help them through that. I do have knowledge that they don't have. And two, it, oh, it allows me to connect with them. People want to, they wanna trust somebody and they build that trust because you've been through the same things they have. So just because you are the same as them. That's what it makes you special. You've been through the same things they are going through, so lean into that. Lean into the things that you know that you've been through and show up because there's somebody out there who really does need what it is that you can help them with. So beautiful. I think of the chapter analogy with that. Like even if I'm just in chapter five, there's peoples in chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, that I can help with. I don't have to, you know, be on chapter 20, like all the Tony Robbins, Mel Robbins, people of the world. It's like. I'm chapter five and that's okay. I still get to help and impact all of those that, you know are in chapters one through four, so that's so beautiful. Okay. Um, if people have questions about anything that you discussed or um, want to get to know you a little bit more, where can they find you? Where's the best place to reach out to you? Um, I'm on Instagram and on TikTok at Laura. Be healthy. I'm sure it'll be linked in the show notes of this. So go down and find it there. And, um, I do have a free guide if anybody wants that. If you are on a weight loss journey, a free guide for, um, getting through that journey without giving up on yourself anymore. It has some recipes in there, talks about why dieting is so toxic and how to get out of the diet cycle. So that will also hopefully be linked in the show notes as well. Yes, it will. Yay. Thank you so much. This was such a powerful conversation. I really appreciate your time. Thank you.