Leadership Isn’t Loud: 5 Ways to Embody Leadership in Life & Business

In today's episode, I discuss the following:

• What my client did that SHOCKED me
• The #1 lie I told myself for YEARS
• The #1 mistake we make about leadership
• 5 ways you NEED to do to become a powerful leader
• 3 powerful questions to uncover if you're a good leader or not

and so much more!

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Transcript

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Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Building Her podcast. I'm your host, Kati Lilian. If you've been loving this podcast, go ahead and rate the podcast five stars and DM me on Instagram when you do that, because I want to connect and personally thank you. If you are new here, hit that subscribe button. It really helps the podcast grow, and that way you will never miss an episode. So let's dive in. Hey, my name is Kati Lillian, and I am obsessed with all things mindset, personal development, and helping you build the best version of yourself. I'm a women's life and mindset coach and an entrepreneur who started a fun hobby of posting hashtag sweaty selfies, grew a successful side hustle, and now I run a six figure coaching business. I teach you the secret of building a life that aligns with your deepest values and one that you wake up excited for. This podcast is designed to expand your mind and. Challenge the status quo. So get ready to uplevel your life and let's start building her. I had a client call. Mm, two days ago, earlier this week, and she is one of my private business clients, she wants to build her own coaching business, and she signed two clients, by the way. Hey, working on her third. I digress. I just have to brag about my clients always any chance I can get. But she brought up this idea of being passive, not only in her business, but in her life. And she's always been passive in her life and it's now translating into her business. And so, for example, the, um, situation that was brought up and what I also. Noticed and called it being passive was she was on a, uh, or, or she was on a consultation call with someone. They had to think about it. So, um, ended the call and then as a part of the like second follow-up conversation, she. Um, asked the, the client, the prospect asked for just a phone call versus a Zoom call, and my client said, yes, okay, let's just do a phone call versus a Zoom call. And when she was saying this, it sounded just very. Every day. That's not the point of the story, you know, it's just what happened and kind of like breezed over it. And I, um, obviously let her talk. And then when she was done, I brought it up again. I was like, did you say that you, you know, joined a call when normally you have Zoom calls? She says, yes. And so what that screams to me to pause the story and just focus in on that. The client, the prospect is telling you what to do and you say, okay, sure. And so the dynamic in that situation doesn't scream leadership authority. Confidence. What it screams is I don't wanna lose you as a client. I hope you say yes to my program since she hasn't signed yet. So I'm gonna do whatever I need to do to basically abide by your rules and your follow or or your leadership so that. I pray to God you say yes to my program. And some of you listening to this, you're probably like, I didn't get that at all, Katya. But it's, it's so slight, right? Because it's not like words that are said, but it's more of this energy, it's more of this, this frequency, this dynamic. And so just a quick example for any coaches listening to this, um, or I would say any entrepreneurs building your own business. If someone were to say, ah, I can't meet right now on Zoom. Whatever, whatever, whatever. Let's just have a phone call. I would question it. I would challenge it. I'd be like, oh, why can't you meet on Zoom? Like, don't you have the the app, the Zoom app on your phone? And then they say, oh, well I'm driving, or. Whatever they're doing, then I would actually reschedule the call. Here's why. As a coach, as a business owner of my program, I know it's best to talk with my clients. I, I am using air quotes over here face to face because I want to see them via Zoom, right? I want to, um, see like their facial expressions. I want to see and notice their body language, if they're ever uncomfortable. Are they scratching their nose? Are they pulling on their ear? Are they shifting in their seat? Because that is 70% of communication. Did you know that by the way, body language is 70% of communication, and so it's so vital to me as a coach, as a leader and, and pulling you forward and, and calling you out lovingly, is I've gotta see you. So if my client or my prospect recommends or asks, Hey, can we just jump on the phone call? Right, if an emergency outlier situations, sure. And if we already have a relationship and we're working together, okay, maybe. But never would I say yes to a consultation call because they are not working with me yet. We're still getting to know each other. Vibe. Energy is so, so important. So as a leader and as a business owner, I would say actually. I can't take a phone call. I would love a Zoom call so I can see you. Maybe make a cute little joke out of it, right? Like I want to see you Winky face or something, and then just reschedule. And my client totally understood and we're gonna work on that moving forward, but didn't even realize that that is what she was communicating energetically when she said yes to a phone call. So that conversation, that situation sparked my creativity and just my desire for today's episode because. Uh, gosh, I could go down a rabbit hole and I might need to splice this up into several episodes, but one, as a female, we have been taught our entire lives to basically. Not take up space to be quiet, to agree, especially in this patriarchy that we live in. And I could go on and on and on about examples like that. And I'm sure some of you listening already, you're like, I totally understand. I totally get what you're saying. But it's so ingrained in our society that we, women don't even realize it. I was just watching this episode or this reel from Jensen. She's the life coach. Turned well-known author now she is the author of the series. You Are a Badass. Love her so much. She just turned 60 by the way. And um, which I love that age too.'cause there really is no number to this, you know what I mean? Like I'm, I'm personally just gonna do this forever. Anyways, I digress. So she was saying how women still say sorry. For everything. And it's not even intentional. It's not like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. It's just like, it's kind of like when you say hello, how are you? Like it's, it's just so natural. That's how I'm sorry. Comes across like, oh, I walked in front of you. Or you walked in front of me and I said, I'm sorry, or I don't know, you walked through a door and someone held it open for you and you're like, ha, sorry. Right? Like, like it just comes out so natural, like a hello. But we women don't even realize what that is communicating energetically. Like why the fuck are you saying, sorry? When you're walking through a goddamn door, why are you saying sorry when a car, I don't know, comes in front of you? Like, like right. They're at fault. And we are still saying, sorry. I hope you all are raising your hand. You're like, ah, yes, I do this all the time. So, so that's what I'm talking about, like, like these things that we're doing and saying is not screaming. Leadership is not screaming, confidence is not screaming authority, and that is something that we have to work on as women. We've gotta muster up that skill, that bravery, whatever you wanna call it. Because if you're saying it, you're thinking it. And if you're thinking it deep, deep down, it's woven into your nervous system, you are believing it. Right? And that's on a subconscious level, which we all know is operating 90% of the show. So this is a big deal. This is something to. Be made aware of and to work on and to have a solution for, and put energy and effort into it and to stop doing it. So I think it, it's a larger conversation, but for today. Specifically, I just wanna talk a little bit more about what we even think about leadership.'cause I think there's a lot of women out there thinking leadership, you know, it is scary as daunting and maybe you think it is like authority, but in a way of dominance or, you know, you're loud and you're, you're extroverted and you're speaking. I don't know, with, with just, there's like this negative image coming up for me. And not to, um, shit on men at all, but I, I think the. The, the propaganda fed to us over the years all our life through mass media and other sorts is yeah, the, this more manly figure who interrupts people and belittles people and is condescending and unfortunately. Men like that are depicted in our society and in media As of high leadership. I mean, just literally think of the presidential debate. I hate politics and I'm not gonna get into it, but just look at the debate how these two men who are supposed to be the leaders of our nation. Uh, cutting people, cutting each other off. Interrupting, like, like, it's not a nice conversation when you're listening to this debate. I, I can't name one presidential debate that they're talking with. Respect and letting each other finish and maybe even complimentary when they debate their side. Like it's just very headbutting aggressive type of language and body language. And so I think unfortunately that is ingrained in our head. Even as women to think like, I have to be like that. I have to have those characteristics in order to have some kind of influence over others, and this whole episode is going to debunk that, that that is a myth. That is not something you need to have or become like or act like in order to have. Authority in order to be a leader, in order to influence people and make moves and right. So I just wanna share that first, like you don't need to be the loudest person in the room. You don't need to be rude, you don't need to cut off people, you don't need to interrupt in order to be seen as a leader. I think that's where we've got it wrong, and maybe you even. Consciously now listening to this, you're like, I, I don't know if I think that, I don't know if I believe that, but deep down you have to understand how you are, um, working on a subconscious level, right? What does your body believe to be true? Because if you're saying sorry to someone holding the door open for you, I guarantee there's some part of you that does not want to be seen as that. Right, and so we hide, we become small, we shrink, we say, sorry. So I don't want you to think of leaders as like this bold, extroverted, commanding type person, the one that takes up all the space with their voice and their presence. I want you to focus more and hopefully persuade you by the end of this episode. What embodied leadership looks like, and especially for us women, because we don't see ourselves as like this raw, raw personality type. You don't need to be loud to be, um, powerful. You don't need to be loud to lead powerfully. That's what I really, really wanna hit home today in the episode. So I think. And this really hits home for me actually before I dive into it, because I don't see myself as that type of woman. I don't, I, I'm not the girl who has this big voice and big personality and big presence, and this commanding, extroverted, bold type. The character that, like, that's actually not me. Like if you ever meet me in person or you see me in, you know, like a big group dynamic or at retreats or whatever, I'm actually kind of quiet. I like, I'll maybe go up to you and be like, you know. Hi Katie. Hi Sarah. Hi. Whatever your name is and give you a big hug and catch up with you. But I'm not the one to like, take up a lot of space in a room. I, I'm not the loudest one. I, I kind of am quiet and I let others do the talking and you know, if someone. Looks at me or wants me to talk. Of course I will, but I'm, it's not like my initial reaction. And at first, you know, years ago when I first got into personal development, I actually looked at that as. Um, a weakness. I was like, Kaia, you've gotta take up more space. You've gotta get loud, you've gotta be bold, you've gotta be authoritative. You, and, and I just forced this on myself and it felt so disingenuous. It felt like I, it wasn't me anymore. Um. Yeah, I just, I felt like I wanted to run and hide when I tried to do that because it just, it's not me. It didn't come natural. But again, I saw that as a weakness. Now, years later, I've understood this concept of embodied leadership, and I've met so many other women now of power and influence millionaires. And they're soft and feminine and Right. They're so opposite from what I had thought a leader must be and, and this more patriarchy dominant man type figure I described like could not be more opposite. So when you think of embodied leadership, I wanna focus now more on this and, and the redefining leadership. It's more about your presence, it's more about your. Energy. It's more about like internally your integrity and your alignment and the consistency that you have with showing up for yourself and the promises you keep for yourself. Like, like the best way I can describe it. True leadership. It's less about what you say and it's more about who you are. Just in your being, just in your energy and your presence, you, you can think about, here's a good example. You can think about embodied leadership as walking into a room and people getting to feel your energy before you even say anything. So think of an example where, I'm trying to think back to an example. I would say the last retreat I was on and my mentor, who is also female, she, we were all there in this like, um, conference room and she walked into the room and. It's almost like you knew she was in the room before she was even in the room because there was an energy shift. And when I say like in such a good way, an energy shift, and then you see her and it's like she's glowing and she's smiling and she's waving and she's saying hello. And she greeted all of us, you know, individually one person at a time. And it was just like this. This realness, this raw and realness that we felt the truth of her soul came out through her energy. And that is how I define leadership, and that is the type of leadership that I want to have. And so when I am truly in integrity. That part of me anytime. Then I direct people or lead people, or back to my example where someone asked for a call and I say, no, it's not coming from a place of like aggression, commanding, again, authoritative. It's truly coming from my heart and it's coming from a place of understanding. And educational for the other person. So the other person might think it's just a fucking phone call. Katya, like, what's the big deal? But then when I educate them in a very lovingly warm type of way, demeanor, I love the idea of a phone call, and I'm sure that could be so much easier for you, but here's why I. Love a Zoom call and I'm happy to reschedule with you. And then I would go down the list of why I have a Zoom call. Again, not to prove anything, proving energy is very, I feel like aggressive It's, and could be belittling and condescending, but this is more of an educational type. Answer. So here's why I love a Zoom call. I can see you. I want to see you, of course. I want to read your body language since that's 70% of communication. I don't want you to multitask some people on their phones and speaker phones. They're multitasking. So I want you to be also present so it's more of a benefit for you as well, because how many times are we trying to multitask and do a hundred things at once? We've got all the tabs open, but if I'm on this Zoom call and I'm talking to you and we're making eye contact and you see my face, and I see your face, you are definitely less likely to be doing something else. Right, and so it makes the dynamic of the call that much better and you get more benefit out of it because it's more transformational for you, because then maybe we do breath work. Maybe we do a visualization together. Maybe we're doing journal prompts together. I was just leading my CEO girls through a visualization and journaling with music. Can you imagine if someone just dialed in. They would not get the same experience as someone who's showing up there with their face. You see what I mean? So I'm educating someone on that and going back to my example with the consultation,'cause she's not a client yet. They need that. They might not know it yet, but they need that. A consultation call can be so transformational for someone already because they are stuck in their day to day and they are getting spread thin and they are burnt out and they are multitasking. And so now to give someone 60 minutes, 90 minutes of their undivided attention, I guarantee you you're going to. Say something that surprises you. We're gonna uncover something that you didn't know was there. Emotions might rise up to the surface that you've been keeping down. Like there's so much that can happen with your undivided attention, and you as a coach, as a leader, as a business owner, as an entrepreneur, you have to be able to say that with confidence and conviction in a lovingly. Way in an embodied leadership way so that someone else is like, oh fuck, that makes so much sense. You're so right. Thank you for not letting me have a phone call, and thank you for rescheduling into a Zoom call that is leadership, right? You're showing them a better way and you have to be the one to communicate that to them. Okay. That was a little side tangent, but I wanted to piece that together with my example. Okay, so in terms of embodied leadership and, and I guess a little bit deeper and some examples of what that looks like, and I've picked these up along the way. Now again, I'm not perfect, I'm human please. But in the five years that I've been coaching, I have come across things where I have also learned, oh, I like the way I showed up in that situation. I don't like the way I showed up in this situation. What's the difference? Right? So. There, there are about five things that I can really define embodied leadership with. So number one. Is clarity. Clarity and knowing who you are and what you stand for. So I just told you I'm not the person in a group setting who's like loud, outspoken, extroverted demands or commands the attention of the room, like. Oh no, that is not me. And remember, that's how I, I used to use view that as a weakness. Now I view it as a superpower because it's me, that that's me and my truest essence. And so the clarity of knowing that that is me gives me so much more strength and confidence because I'm not trying to act like someone I'm not. I also stand for everything that I preach and teach in my coaching. Or I would say anything in my content on all the social media platforms. Like I know what I'm here for. I know my story, I know the transformations that I lead my clients through. I know the money that they're making and I'm helping them get clients with, I know exactly what I am doing and what I stand for, and I'm moving the needle forward. For women as a whole, like, like that is something that you can't fuck with. FI am so crystal clear on my messaging, on my purpose and why I do what I do. So clarity is number one, and again, that happens with time, that happens with action, that happens with trial and error that happens with failing forward like that has happened over the five years of coaching. So I just want to. I guess, uh, give you guys some grace. If you're not there yet and you don't have clarity, well, you just gotta do more. Remember, clarity comes from action, not the other way around. So you might not have just taken enough action yet in order to have that type of clarity. But I have had to have action steps over the last five years to gain this clarity. Number two is the consistency. So a lot of people break their promises with themselves, and this is anything. I'm gonna wake up at five in the morning, I'm gonna go do that workout class at 9:00 AM I'm gonna go sit my ass down and I'm gonna reach out to 10 different people. I'm gonna go and edit content and post it as a reel. I'm gonna go yes. Say yes to this dinner date, and I'm gonna meet these girls for dinner. I'm gonna go to this retreat. Whatever you say you are going to do, and your follow through in that is how you build confidence, and that's through the consistency. People always, always, always trust leaders who do what they say. Right. There's always that funny thing. It's like, do what I say, not what I do. Uh, people are, you know, being funny with that, but it's like, can we actually practice what we preach and therefore we're that much more convincing when we tell others to do it? Because we've done it right. We've done the hard work. We've failed forward. We, we've done the outreach, we've done the, the posting, we've done the consultation calls. We've, we've done all of it. And so it's that much more impactful than to share that with someone else. So again, if you're a coach listening to this and you're like, ah, I feel a little uneasy about what I'm coaching other people, or I feel a little like disingenuous with my message and, and what I'm here for, it's like, well then. You are not doing the shit that you're telling someone else to do. Right. So if you are like a fitness coach and you're telling people to work out and love your body, and you know, don't do it for the aesthetics, but do it for the health. And meanwhile, you're sitting over there on a couch with potato chips and watching Netflix and you skipped your workout. Absolutely. You're not gonna have confidence when you tell your client to go do the thing that you said you were going to do. So you have to practice what you preach. You have to do what you say you are going to do. If I'm a business coach, which I am, and I'm telling you, oh, you can make six figures in one year, simple. Yet, I haven't done it. Oh my God. You're gonna sniff that out from a mile away. I'm lying to you. I'm false marketing to you. Absolutely. You're gonna be like, what the fuck? And that might not even come across at the beginning.'cause I could have bomb ass marketing and I could say all the right words and you're like, yes. But you're gonna sniff it out throughout the process because one month, in, two months, in, three months in, you're like, Kaia, what the fuck? Not that it's the coach's 100% responsibility for your results. Again, I'm 50% of the equation. You still have to get off your ass and do the things that I'm gonna say. However, you're gonna come forward with questions that I don't know how to answer because I've never been there. I've never done it. So you're gonna start to feel like, okay, wait. Did Kaia actually make six figures in one year? Is she actually holding space for the business that she raves about? Does she actually have the the time freedom in her schedule? Because you're gonna start noticing these gaps, right? So you have to be consistent. You have to follow through on your word. Number three, boundaries. This is probably my favorite one. The way I look at leadership is. The, the embodied leadership specifically is more of like a quiet leadership, so everyone always asks me, um, especially like, uh, when I was doing life coaching or, you know, um, big shift, that kind of stuff. People are like, how do you deal with like, you know, a friend that you just don't? Really see eye to eye anymore, or you do hang out with this group and you are noticing that they're just, gosh, always draining your energy and they make you feel. You know, not supported in your dreams and your goals, and you just feel depleted after your exchange with them. Or this could also be with family members. Like how do you do it? And I always like, I think about it because again, I'm not very loud or outspoken or, um, yeah. I'm just, I'm not that type of person. And so what I like to rely on is. I hold strong boundaries for myself, but like I don't need to explain myself. So it's like a quiet confidence, a quiet leadership. So for example, if there's a friend and she. I don't know. We were great friends, but now we're not so good friends because our paths are just different. They're going in different directions and our values perhaps have changed. Whatever the case is. I don't really make a huge like argument out of it or confrontation or, you know, yell at her or like, this is it, we're done and like quote unquote break up. I just don't. Hang out with her as much, and I don't talk with her as much, and I start distancing myself, but not really telling her. Right? Like I don't explain myself. I just notice energetically, ooh, you know, she doesn't support me clearly. She never asks about my podcast. She never asked about my daughter. She only basically. Emotionally dumps on me and doesn't really care about me or my life, so that doesn't make me feel really good. So I'm just not gonna, I'm just not gonna hang out with her as much. I'm gonna start distancing myself. And that's what I do. And it's this like quiet, I would say self-leadership, right? Because I'm leading myself with my own boundaries, but I'm not making it a big deal. I'm just, I'm recognizing the energy, I'm noticing all of these, uh, clues over the months, the years, whatever. And then I'm like, okay. All right. I can see your true colors now, right? The they, they have been revealed and so we're just gonna take a step back. I don't burn any bridges. I don't want anything like that'cause that's also negative energy than on my end. But I'm just gonna start, you know, taking more time maybe in between. Text message responses or maybe my check-ins with you, or, um, if you ask me to hang out with you in the future or dinner, I, you know, I can't, and, and I just, I just move quietly. And that's probably my favorite one because it's like this, like secretive leadership. That I've practiced over the years, especially building my own business and entrepreneurship. There's been so much judgment from, you know, my, my circle and stuff like that. And so I'm like, oh, okay. Yeah, no, I see. And that's it. I just start distancing myself. Number four. Emotional regulation. This could not be more huge. Maybe this is actually bigger than boundaries. I digress. This whole list is powerful. Hope you're taking notes. But emotional regulation is so, so huge because there can be so much shit that happens in a day, in a week. Oh my god. In a month. Absolutely. And I have to stay grounded. I have to come back to my foundation when shit hits the fan or when others are, you know, reactive or dysregulated. The way I like to see this and look at emotions is kind of like on a chart, so I guess think of like a heart rate monitor. On, on the screen, you're in a hospital and you see it on the screen and your heart goes up, right? It pumps, it beeps, and then it goes down, and then it beeps. But you have like this line where you're at this equilibrium, this foundation of, there's your heartbeat right there. It is. It's, it's pretty much a straight line. But then let's say your heartbeat goes faster or you're excited and then it goes up. Or you are. It goes slow and it's slow and it goes down, but there's always this middle line that we want to get back to, right? It's this easiness, it's this calm, it's this foundational equilibrium. That's how I see my emotions. So during any given day. There could be, I don't know. Uh, actually I've never had a client cancel. I was gonna use that as, as an example. But let's say maybe a client is late on a payment or I. Um, I don't know. It's a really hard day for a client and they bring their emotions to me and, you know, I feel their emotions with them, their, their family at this point. And so I get upset with them or, you know, they're, I'm like, no, she didn't, or, you know, and so whatever happens, my emotions can also then skyrocket and go up and maybe I'm stressed or bur and I had an argument, or amalia's not. Sleeping very well, like there's a heightened stress point or anger or frustration, whatever those emotions are that bring me up out of equilibrium. But I'm very, very quick. I really have to say I'm pretty quick of finding again, my baseline and that baseline has gotten me to where I'm at today. That is. I would argue 90% of my success in coaching and business is the equilibrium. This regulated state that I am always able to bounce back to. Because even if also I'm like really excited and happy and oh my God, best day ever, I know it's just a matter of time before that also subsides and it's back to normalcy. It's back to the mundane day-to-day routine, right? And so I think, um, I always think of the quote, this too shall pass. Like the good times, the good days. That's gonna pass, but also the low days, the sad days, that's gonna pass. Like a specific example, when my back had issues, if you follow me on Instagram, I shared on my stories how my back gave out like a week and a half ago. I felt it a little bit on a Friday. I was doing a HIIT workout and I felt it in my low back when I was doing I think burpees or plank or whatever. And so I was like, Ooh, okay, let's, let's end this. This doesn't feel good. And then, um, I went to dinner with girlfriends and I felt it a little bit there. Getting up from the table, I was like, Ooh, that doesn't feel good. But it was still just kind of like a throbbing here and there. It wasn't like crazy pain. But Saturday morning I woke up and I could not walk. Saturday morning I woke up and I could not walk. I couldn't hold my daughter. I couldn't get out of bed. I had Bert help me. He held my hand as I walked to the restroom, like, holy shit. That totally humbled me. I was like, oh my God. But also, like I felt so low. I was crying. I felt so sad. I. I don't know. I just thought of my business. I thought of my life. I thought about my daughter looking at me and seeing me in this condition. She's like, why the fuck aren't you getting up? Like, let's walk, let's like, pick me up, mom. You know? And I couldn't. And it was just so hard. And that day, all day Saturday, I was really, really, really, um, struggling mentally. And, um, the next day I felt a little bit better. I found this guy on YouTube, he's a physical therapist because my chio couldn't see me until that Monday and he was like, oh, you probably, you know, it's your SI joint and here are some stretches to help it and, you know, mitigate it until you go to the Cairo. And I literally did that. Sunday morning, and it really did, it helped so much. At least I could, you know, hobble along a little bit without Bert's help. And so then I felt better and I felt hope and okay, emotions are going back up and so it took a day and like that my back ev out couldn't walk that like that took me out for a day. But I swear. There are so many things that happen now that don't really take me a day to get back to my foundation emotionally, right? Like I, I'm pretty good. I I could usually take it. I get back within minutes. I mean, an hour is a long time. An hour is usually my max. So I'm like, all right, Katya, like, get your head outta your ass. Like, let's go. Right? So. Emotional regulation is so vital. I actually might do a, an episode just on emotional regulation because it is so, so, so powerful. Especially as a business owner like you are regulating and responsible for yourself. Like you've got to lead yourself in that way. Um, last thing, self responsibility. So I already mentioned self-leadership. What I mean with the responsibility part, I guess I could also say self accountability, but it's this idea because I don't have a boss, I am my own boss, I have to be okay. Although it's painful and it stings. I have to be okay with mistakes that I make. I have to be okay with choices I make. Good or bad, I have to be okay with growth and the time of my growth, whether it's quote unquote slow or fast. It's this idea of basically just being okay. And knowing that I am responsible for my success, but I'm also responsible for my failure. There is nobody else that I get to blame or point the finger to as much as I want to. It's me. And that takes a lot of accountability and responsibility, but it will give you so much as well in your business because. There's so much power in that concept as well, but knowing that no one can strip your power from you, gives you power, and knowing that even though you make a mistake, like you fall on your face, you're just gonna get back up and do it again. Basically gives you that, that muscle that you have to really strengthen in business ownership of, okay. I made a mistake. Dust yourself off and try again. That's pretty much it. So those are the five that I really do look at for defining and practicing embodied leadership and notice none of those have anything to do with the pitch of my voice or the tone of how I speak or how. Uh, commanding I am in a room or how authoritative I am. It's pretty much all just me and how I lead myself. That is what Embodied leadership is all about. I think, um, and maybe this might help you, but I guess to kind of like divvy it up and give you some concrete examples, because hopefully you're. Vibing and loving everything that I'm saying, but to think of like key examples in your life that you could probably practice too. Um, so let's start with life. When you take responsibility for your own relationships, your own health, your own happiness. That will go so far for you because I think a lot of us play victim and blame whoever in our life. It could be our parents, it could be our boss, it could be our partner, it could be our friends, right? It's so much easier to blame, but if we could start taking back our power. And be responsible and accountable for like, no, you know what? I'm actually letting this person in my life, I'm choosing to let this person still have a part in my life. Like I'm literally choosing that. I am choosing to say yes to situations and events that I don't wanna go to versus saying, no, I am choosing to skip a workout. I am choosing to not walk. I am choosing to eat all the fast food, whatever food, versus wake the fuck up, slap myself across the face. This is me. This is my body. I am putting the food in my mouth. No one is force feeding me. I am the one sitting my ass on the couch, not getting up and walking. Like I said, I am. That's not my boss's fault. That's not my partner's fault. That's not my parents' fault. That's not my friend's fault. That's not Vicky from five years ago. Fault. It's my fault. I am the one. Who is not getting her ass up and doing something about it? Happiness. What brings me joy and am I making time for that joy? If not, guess who's gotta make time for her? Joy, you. So there's this radical responsibility that we need to have in life to lead and practice leading ourselves. I think it's also when you do that, when you move in, that you're modeling that type of behavior for people around you. I mean, if you're also a mom, it's your kids a hundred percent. They mimic every behavior you have and and repeat everything. And if you have a young one like mine. They're building their subconscious, just saying, so they model your behavior, but also your partner. Like imagine a, imagine you taking your health seriously, making more time for happiness and joy, keeping people in your life that actually. Add to your energy and make you feel good and loved and supported versus the alternative, how might that also spill over into your relationship with your partner or your peers or your friends? Like everyone gets to benefit from you self-respecting and self-lead, your own time and your own life, and your own, um, practices. Right. And then I think the biggest one, and this is what I always talk about in life coaching, but it's you choosing your path. It's you building a life by your design. It's not just defaulting to others expectations or you know, your parents wanted you to. Go here for school or do this for work or societal expectations of what you should or should not do or look like or behave, or I could go on and on. But it's you being so intentional by literally designing the type of life and work and path that you want, that is your responsibility. Again, nobody else is gonna do it for you. Nobody else wants it as bad as you do because they're figuring out their own shit. It. You have to do it for yourself. So those are life examples. If you are a business owner or entrepreneur, specifically with business pricing. You gotta, you gotta believe in your pricing. You've got to price with confidence. You have to price with integrity. Remember, it's never about you and being good enough as a human. It's always about the offer that you're selling and the transformation that they get on the other side. That is what you are pricing, and you have to price that with confidence.'cause if you don't feel confident about your pricing, you're not gonna be able to sell it. You need to sell a coaching program for thousands of dollars because you believe in it and have confidence in that rate versus insecurity. People are again gonna sniff that from a mile away. Or any product you sell. It could be jewelry, you hand, you hand design jewelry. It could be, um, digital products. It could be, I don't know, speaking gigs. It could be a book, it could be whatever you're selling food. Right. You have to believe in that pricing, so much so that you can sell it. I think it's also clients, I've said this before, but leading by example. We know that it's not just instruction, but you actually have to live it. You actually have to be the embodied example of your message and what you preach, and then also. This is probably the hardest one, but you as a business owner and as an entrepreneur, you have to make decisions without and before external validation. You have to practice and sharpen the skill of decisions without waiting for or. Ever getting external validation, meaning you've got to walk in blind faith. You have to make decisions that feel good for you in your heart, in your soul. You have to believe in it before you have evidence of it. This is manifestation 1 0 1. You have to walk in blind faith and you have to make decisions internally. Validate yourself, right, and then reality catches up. But you have to be able to do that first, and that's really, really uncomfortable. So I think that's all that I got for you guys today. I think, um, I really hope this was helpful. I hope this really redefined leadership for you. I really hope this also validated someone listening or some women listening where maybe you're not that bold type of character, that extroverted character, and you. Saw that as a weakness. I really hope this is your permission slip to reframe it and look at it differently and hopefully give you more confidence that, whoa, I can be an entrepreneur. I can own my own business. I can lead, right, because I don't fit the bill for that type of leadership, but that's not even the type of leadership that I wanna practice or embody. So I really, really hope this hit home for someone. I think, um, just to wrap it up here, three questions that you can ask yourself and really tap into maybe what's going on or, you know, think about what's next for you. Number one, where in life are you holding back because you think you're not loud enough to lead? Number two, what would leadership look like for your. Personality. And number three, how can you embody leadership today through action, integrity, embodiment, presence instead of remember. The bold volume type, loud leadership. How could you embody this quiet, confident leadership today? So those are some journal prompts and some questions to think through. And um, yeah. That's, that's what I got for you guys today. If anything about this episode resonated with you, please do me a favor and take a screenshot of this podcast and post it to your stories and tag me at Katia Lillian, I would. Love to connect with you, or if there's someone that you think needs to hear this, maybe you're thinking of a friend or, uh, a sister or, um, a coworker, a peer, and you're like, Ooh, this person really needs to hear this. Please send them this podcast episode. I would love, love, love for you to share it with them. So thank you in advance and I appreciate you all. I love you so much. Until next week. Mm.