The 6-Step Method to Rewrite Your Thoughts

That voice in your head saying “I’m not ready” or “I’m not good enough” isn’t truth—it’s programming. In this episode, Katja walks you through her 6-step “Uninstall Method” to help you catch your negative thoughts, challenge old stories, and replace them with beliefs that actually empower you. Learn how to reframe your inner dialogue, practice new thought patterns, and take action even when fear tags along for the ride. You’ll walk away feeling clear, confident, and ready to become the woman your goals need you to be.

Go Watch the video over on Youtube! Like & Subscribe!

SUPPORT THE SHOW:

Please subscribe, rate and review over on Apple Podcasts & Spotify to help support the show! Share to your IG stories and follow along on instagram @katja.lillian for updates and inspiring content.

OTHER PLACES TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Sign up for my newsletter!
DM me on IG!
Customer Testimonials

Transcript

I went on stage. Mm. Two weeks ago now, I went to my client's women's symposium. It was called Unwrap The Best You. It was so much fun, Tracy, if you're listening, good job. But it was so cool to meet her in real life. It was just on the other side of Florida, and so it was super easy for us to get there. It was like a three hour road trip.

Uh, my husband and my daughter came with me, so it was a family affair and it was just the greatest time. After my speech, I offered like a q and a, um, not session, but time for q and a at the end of my speech.

And I think I got about like six to eight questions. And one of the question [00:02:00] was, how do you know. If you have limiting beliefs or how do you know which beliefs are limiting beliefs? And I don't remember what I answered. I'm still waiting on the actual video footage of my speech, but, and I hope my answer was helpful, but when I was reflecting on that and thinking about it, I was like, gosh, there's so many people out there who feel like their thoughts and.

Beliefs are absolute truth like they are fact, this is how I've always thought, this is how I've always believed. This is how I grew up. This is who my mom is, this is who my dad is, this is what my town is. This is just everything that makes up their reality. They believe that that is. Truth, absolute truth.

And while some of that may be true in terms of like, yes, this is my mom. Yes, this [00:03:00] is my dad, and yes, this is where I grew up. Those are absolute truths. However, the. The belief systems that were handed down to you, and therefore the thought processes that you have are not absolute truth. They are not absolute facts.

They are. Opinions and a lot of us don't know how to break away or decipher what is an opinion and what is absolute truth, and that is so, so important because if it is in fact an opinion, well you get to choose if you agree or. Disagree with that opinion. If you disagree, you can make a new opinion. Now, this is a much more long-winded answer than I gave on stage, but I wanted to bring it here to you guys because when I thought about this [00:04:00] so many.

Clients bring this up as well, especially for my early and aspiring coaches who are just now starting to dabble into entrepreneurship and show up online and start this business with no idea how to, I mean, you could YouTube all day long and research all day long, but. It's still scary and there's a lot of those thoughts that come up that could absolutely hinder your growth, hinder your progress, because you just don't know how to deal with them.

So I just wanted to. Bring it here today that this episode is going to be completely devoted about quieting the inner critic in your head. Let's call it the mean girl voice. I, I want to walk you through. An actual process, an actual [00:05:00] psychology, scientific process that I use with my clients to help them uninstall the stories.

The thoughts, the beliefs that keep them stuck and actually replace them with better ones and not just replace them. Because sometimes I think people, they change a thought or like positive affirmations or mantras, like they're cute. But if you don't believe the words that you are actually saying and you don't believe the thought that you just replaced it with.

That doesn't help. We have to get deeper and deeper and deeper so that we actually believe the better ones that we are replacing them with. So that's what I want to devote this podcast episode to. I want to first share and educate you on why this is. Such [00:06:00] a problem. I would say universally, but also just in my five years coaching experience and why this matters.

So our brains, whether we like it or not, are actually wired to think worst case scenario. It's actually wired to think more. Negative thoughts than positive thoughts simply because your brain is designed to keep you quote unquote safe and to your brain. What safe is is actually familiar. So recognize that the thoughts that you have and the beliefs, it's not like a personal problem.

There's nothing wrong with you. It's actually just a primal need for your brain to keep you alive. Like think of back in the. Cave girl days, let's call it negativity, kept us safe. Right. Kept us alive. And [00:07:00] so anytime you go into that unknown territory, the new or the thoughts around, you know, what if I move here, or what if I try this job?

Or what if I have that uncomfortable conversation? Or what if I show up online immediately? Your brain is negative. Like, oh shit, what if I move and I don't like it? What if I go online? People think I'm cringe. What if I talk to my boss and it's an awful conversation, I get fired. What if I go for the job and I don't get it?

Like, like it's the immediate negative thought, but it's just trying to keep you safe. And so it's for us to recognize, Ooh, that's a negative thought. That doesn't support us. That doesn't empower us. Let me actually change it to a thought that is positive. The what if best case scenario so that it supports my dream.

[00:08:00] That's what we have to get really, really, really good at. And when I, when I keep talking about these thoughts, just to be crystal clear, you know, these negative thoughts, you know, the inner critic, you know the, the, the mean girl in your head. It's the ones that, it's the one that says, I'm not enough, or I'm not good enough, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not smart enough, or I'll never get there.

Why bother? I'm not equipped for it. I didn't go to a. Whatever school, I am not considered the best of the best. I'm not an expert. Right? Or why me? Why am I supposed to do that? No one will listen to me. That is not truth. That is not absolute fact. Recognize those thoughts. They are programmed, they are conditioning over years and years and years of picking up evidence along the way to prove that that is actually true.

Right? Like somewhere along the way you downloaded that [00:09:00] program, whether someone told you that face to face. Whether someone treated you a certain way, whether you read it or saw it or received the message of. A, a societal message or mainstream media message of like, these are good schools, these are bad schools, these are good jobs.

This is a bad job. This is a great income to have. This is a bad income to have. Like all of these messages are fed to us all day long, and so we are conditioned to think a certain way. Now, I don't want that to sound super negative because here's the good news. The good news is. You get to challenge it.

You get to now, today think with a blank slate. Do I actually agree with that? And if not, guess what? We get to unre, if that's a word. And get to choose a new one. We get to uninstall this conditional programming so that [00:10:00] we can actually do what we say we want to do. And there's a real method to this, and I'm actually going to break it down into six steps for you.

This is a six step uninstall method, and we're going to use these six steps. With an actual example. So I'll run through those six steps first so that you understand what they are, and then I'll apply it to an actual thought and break it down with you. Okay. So the the step, the first step is awareness.

All we want to do in this step is catch the thought. When it feels like it's absolute fact to you, it feels very normal. Hence why you don't stop it. We just think it, we feel a certain way and then we go on to the next thought. And so the trick here, step one, is to actually be [00:11:00] aware of the thought. And what I want you to do to increase that awareness is say it out.

Loud, and I know this sounds crazy because you could be in a restaurant or somewhere public and you're talking to yourself out loud, and it's probably a very mean negative thing to say out loud, hence why it's in your head and you want to raise the awareness. But you can have a dedicated time for this as well.

So this is why I love journaling, or this is why I love meditation. Like there, there is a concentrated time that you can have to actually catch these, um, these thoughts. So number one is awareness. Number two, label it. So. Break away from the actual negative thing that you're thinking by labeling it as just a thought.

That's it. It's, it's not a fact. And we don't [00:12:00] even know if, if, if it's an opinion yet. We're not there yet, but it's just a thought and we have thousands of thoughts a day. So just labeling that it's a thought breaks you away already from whatever the thought is. Step three, I want you to challenge it so don't just, uh, don't just believe it without evidence or proof, right?

90% of the time we don't have evidence or proof. It's, it's just a thought. There, there's no validity to this. So I want you to start poking the holes and finding the gaps in that thought that you just labeled. Step four, reframe it. And my clients actually call me the reframe queen. So I'm really, really good at this because I've obviously gotten good at it myself, but now I help my clients with their reframes if they can't catch it themselves.

So reframe it, and the way you do that is replacing it with something much more [00:13:00] supportive. Now, if you have trouble catching these thoughts and being aware of the thought, what is really helpful for you, especially at the beginning, is to notice the feeling tied to it. So if the thought is, I'm not good enough, how does that make you feel?

Right. Thinking and believing that you're not good enough. It probably doesn't make you feel very good. You probably feel lousy, sad, disappointed, whatever low vibe, emotion that is tied to that. But the alternative reframe is, you know, I am enough. I am good enough for this. Well, how does that feel? That immediately sounds a bit more uplifting and empowering.

Right? And so that feeling. Is not very limiting anymore. It's actually empowering. And so the feeling tied to a thought can be your best friend, right? That's a really good filter system for you. Step five, practice it. [00:14:00] So the reframe initially sounds kind of weird to you because if your dialogue in your head has been the same thing for years and years and years, entering a new thought.

Feels very uncomfortable. It doesn't feel familiar, hence why your brain is like this isn't safe. But the more you practice it, the more familiar it becomes. Remember, your mind is a muscle just like your body. So we go to the gym and actually work out our muscles and guess what happens to your muscles?

They get stronger. Just like your mind, your mind will get stronger. So you have to keep practicing. And then step six is anchor it. So pair it with action. So it's not just a reframe anymore where you're saying it, but now you're pairing action to it so you're actually doing something. Because then when you do something, you collect, prove, and evidence over time, and that proof and evidence will support this reframe thought.

Hence why it'll get. Deeper [00:15:00] and move into more of a belief, creating this new belief system for you. So let's break it down. Let's take one example and actually break it down. So let's go back to step one. Step one is awareness. So just simply think, okay, I'm hearing myself think, who am I to do that? That's the thought.

Who am I to do that? So we're pausing and we're thinking, and we're creating awareness around who am I to do that just by thinking, all right, let's stop timeout. I'm hearing myself think, who am I to do that again? Step two, we label it. We simply say, this isn't truth. This is just a thought. Step three. This is the fun part where you get to challenge it.

You ask yourself, has someone with less experience done what I'm afraid to do? Have I [00:16:00] overcome things before without actually feeling quote unquote ready? What evidence do I actually have that I can't do this? And usually from those questions, those are just examples, but that's a great place to start from.

Usually you'll find zero. That's your cue to stop treating the thought like gospel. Step four, the reframe. Try these. If not me, then who? I may not know everything, but I'm willing to learn. I'm qualified by my lived experience, not my fucking resume. I pick the one that hits you and, and resonates with you the most, but like, just that third one and that I added the F-bomb, like I felt that immediately so intensely.

Step five, practice it. So, like I just said, your, your confidence is built through repetition [00:17:00] and so each time that that thought comes up, you're gonna catch it, you're gonna label it, and you're gonna swap it, and you're gonna do it over and over and over again as if you are going to the gym. And then the last thing is pair it with action.

So when I feel the fear, I feel it, but I do it anyways. So it's like. You gotta do the thing anyways, even if you feel uncomfortable. So you're gonna hit post on Instagram, or you're gonna have that uncomfortable consultation call, and you're gonna pitch the client your number. You're going to apply for that new job.

You're going to book the airfare and the trip and go on the trip. Right. And then afterwards you're reminding yourself like, see, I just did the thing that was so scary and I'm still alive and I'm still here. So I hope that was just a really quick debrief on thoughts and actually helped you with an actual thought.

So if you [00:18:00] actually have a thought that you can't get over and it just feels too real for you, go ahead and DM me on Instagram at ka Lillian, and I am more than happy to dissect that thought with you and reframe it with you so that you get to practice and you get to get better at this and get stronger at this.

So. I also just wanna emphasize before I let you go, negative thoughts aren't going away. They're going to be here forever. Fear is the fearless is not a thing. It's always going to be there, but I want you to get better at navigating it. I want you to get better at. I always say driving the car and letting fear your thoughts, your beliefs be the passenger princess, right?

Like they're there, they're not going anywhere. But we can regain control. We can still take action despite the thoughts and the fear that comes up. So again, I want you to pick a thought, a negative thought, DM it to me on Instagram. I'm happy to dissect it with you [00:19:00] and, um. Yeah, I really hope this was helpful.

This is a shorter episode, but I kind of wanted to try this out to see if it's super digestible for you, so that you can also take this, run with it, apply it, and um, yeah, we'll see what happens. Thank you so much for tuning in. That's all that I have for you. This. Week. If anything about this episode resonated with you, go ahead and take a screenshot of this episode.

Tag me on Instagram at Katya Lillian, and I would love to connect with you. So thank you in advance and I appreciate you.