LIFE UPDATE: How to Build a Business When Life Isn’t Perfect

In this episode, I walk you through a full day that didn’t go according to plan - rescheduled calls, hopping off a mastermind early, coaching with my daughter crying in the background - and the emotional intelligence and resilience it took to respond instead of spiral.

More than anything, this episode is for early and aspiring coaches, entrepreneurs, and women who are trying to build something meaningful when life feels anything but ideal.

In this episode, we talk about:

• What it’s like to build a business during a family health scare
• Navigating solo parenting while maintaining professionalism and client care
• How emotional intelligence shows up in real time as a business owner
• Responding vs. reacting when everything feels overwhelming
• Why messy does NOT mean unprofessional
• The unseen flexibility and privilege of building a values-aligned business
• How hard seasons can fuel deeper purpose, clarity, and drive
• Why waiting for “perfect conditions” keeps people stuck
• The duality of holding grief, responsibility, ambition, and gratitude at the same time
• 5 Key Takeaways from this episode

If you’re building a business while parenting, caregiving, navigating illness, grief, or major life transitions - this episode is for you. 

If this resonated, take a screenshot of this episode, tag me on Instagram, or send me a DM and tell me your biggest takeaway. 

Transcript

0:00

Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Building Her podcast. I'm your host, Kati Lillian. If you've been loving this podcast, go ahead and rate the podcast five stars and DM me on Instagram when you do that, because I want to connect and personally thank you. If you are new here, hit that subscribe button. It really helps the podcast grow, and that way you will never miss an episode. So let's dive in. Hey, my name is Kati Lillian, and I am obsessed with all things mindset, personal development, and helping you build the best version of yourself. I'm a women's life and mindset coach and an entrepreneur who started a fun hobby of posting hashtag sweaty selfies, grew a successful side hustle, and now I run a six figure coaching business. I teach you the secret of building a life that aligns with your deepest values and one that you wake up excited for. This podcast is designed to expand your mind and. Challenge the status quo. So get ready to uplevel your life and let's start building her. I thought today would be a good time for a good life update episode. I want to share a little bit more of what's going on in my life. Um, by no means do I have anything figured out with what I am going through right now, but that's also the point. I want to just be raw and real. During this, um, chapter, this era that I am going through right now. And I feel like that will translate over to you a little bit more and on a deeper level, because I don't have anything figured out. There are a few lessons and, and mindset. Um. Things that I wanna share, but outside of that, I really just want to talk to you and I just want to share what's going on in my life. More importantly, the reason why I share anything ever online or on this podcast is. So you feel seen, so you feel heard, so you feel less alone in your journey of building a business, becoming a coach, quitting a job, going for the life that you desire when nobody else around you gets it. Like, that is me. That is my voice, and that is why I am here on this podcast. So. Just, uh, yeah, sit back, listen to what's going on in my life right now, and I really just hope you feel less alone in your journey, whether you've gone through this or going through this, or maybe it will come up, who knows. But, uh, if you haven't listened to the last few episodes or if you don't follow me on Instagram. I guess I'll just update you, but I am sitting here in California, so I live in Florida in St. Petersburg with my husband, my daughter, my two dogs. Love, love, love our life there. But recently my mom. Um, is going through a health scare and still is, and so I decided to book a one-way flight to California where she resides so that I could be here for her emotionally and support her while she goes through something really, really scary. I wanna hold the details on my mom. Just because we still don't know much. Like she's just going in and out of doctor appointments pretty much every day at this point. Phone calls, testing, and we're waiting on results. Um, so yeah, I just wanna keep that private for right now, but just know it, it's not good. It's, um, pretty big, hence why I'm out here. So. Pray for me, send me any of your positive thoughts and yeah, I'd really appreciate it. But anyway, so I'm sitting here in California. It's 9:02 PM I'm sipping a tea, but, um, my daughter's asleep. We'll see it, how long she sleeps for before she wakes up. But um, yeah, life feels messy right now. Life feels unpredictable right now. Life feels like I can't really come up for air and I don't mean that. In like a super negative way. I just mean it in like a very real and honest way. If you guys know me and have been following me for a while or have worked with me, I am an avid time blocker. I look at my calendar, I make. Spa, or I make, um, what am I trying to say? I make the most out of every hour of the day. Even if it's white space, even if it's downtime, I still know it's downtime. It's like literally labeled on my calendar downtime. So I've gotten really, really good at staying committed to my calendar and just, you know, staying rigid to my process. And if I set a goal, I. Set micro goals and I basically reverse engineer and I go from there like just very, very organized and I get shit done that way and I've been doing that ever since. You know, my side hustle days. But this is the first time where. I am stepping into a chapter and it feels uncertain. It feels heavy. It feels like I need to be more responsible. It feels exhausting. It feels. Fearful because we don't, there's so much unknown. I don't know what's going to happen. And so yeah, it, it's like this first time in my entrepreneurial journey where I don't have everything figured out and I don't have it organized and I can't put it on my calendar, and I'm just kind of like going with the flow and hoping for the best while I show up and maintain my business. And it's so interesting, right?'cause I always talk about the duality of emotions, right? So I'm sitting here in California, I'm sitting in my parents' house. And I'm solo parenting. I, you know, get my, my mom and my dad to watch my daughter for an hour, maybe two tops, um, when I have client calls. But outside of that, like I don't really want them to have to watch her because of my mom's condition. And again, just the heaviness here. But yeah, it, it's like. I'm maintaining, but, but I'm also like weirdly feeling inspired to change certain things in my business and also like redo certain things in my business. And, and I'm, and I mean that in the best way. That's why I use the word inspired. Like, I don't know something about this. I guess you'd call it downtime and change of environment and even the heaviness of emotions that I'm feeling right now and, and that I'm around is actually like forcing me to think differently and think bigger and think 10 years down the road. And part of that is weirdly exciting and it's actually helping. Me and my business, because I'm not like in it, in the day to day. I actually am zoomed out and I'm looking, you know, I'm working on the business and forecasting, and so I didn't expect that. Right. I, I didn't expect to have like a hit of inspiration. Uh. Especially with what's going on, but that's just what's happening. And so we're, we're open. We are embracing, we're just duality of emotions, right? We're here for it. So. Anyways, just to give you like an idea of what's going on and how messy it feels right now and, and how I don't really have anything planned. So today is a perfect example. Um, I'll give you like the chronological order. My mom was supposed to have a doctor's appointment this morning and then later in the afternoon. And so the doctor called yesterday and said, actually, you don't need to worry about coming in the morning, just come in the afternoon. But then last minute hospital changed their mind and they said, actually, you can see someone else like we do want you to come in the morning. So she left at eight 30 in the morning with my dad and I was supposed to have a coaching call at eight 30 right when they left. And so I think it was. 8 22. When I texted my client, I've always noted her and I was like, I hate to do this, but I need to reschedule because I don't wanna bring my daughter on the call. This is their time. They paid for it. There's a certain level of professionalism that I want to hold and maintain, and so out of respect for her and her time. I need someone to watch my daughter during that coaching call. So I rescheduled it for Saturday morning. Okay. So that one was handled. Then I had a mastermind call that I'm a part of at nine 30 and I was like, okay, well I could join that even with my daughter because I'm not like leading the call. Right? It's a hot seat q and a. So, um, when I need to talk, it's just about my questions, and then I can stay on mute or whatever. It's, it's very like flexible that way. And got on at nine 30, had my coffee ready to go. I put on this Rachel for my daughter. I was like, yes, we got this. We are, you know, solid here for the next hour. And lo and behold, my daughter was just not having it. She's like, mom, you are giving me your attention. We're gonna play or I'm gonna cry until you pay attention to me. So I was trying to keep her like busy when she was starting to cry and stuff, and then she just like lost it, right? Screaming, crying, and I was like, you know what? This is not worth it. We're, we're gonna end this call, we're gonna hop off and then I'll just, um, voice note the group chat that we have. So. I think I ended that, or I hopped off at like nine 50. So I made it for about 20 minutes and I was like, okay, that's fine. We're, we're just gonna, you know, shake it off and we're gonna play with my daughter and then we're gonna go do nap time. So after nap time, then I had a plan that I already had scheduled, you know, like two days before because I knew my mom was going to go down to, um, her doctor's appointment in the afternoon. So I was like, okay, well I'll just go to my sister's house and we'll have lunch together. And then I have one coaching call with a private client and my sister can watch her and you know, my daughter. Um, loves my sister and all that stuff, so I knew she'd be like, comfortable there. So I was like, okay, great, great plan. Solid plan. And so we have lunch and then I go into my sister's bedroom.'cause um, it was just, that was like the private area that. I had access to, and it was a nice little spot by her bed where the light was coming in. So I was like, okay, awesome. 10 minutes into the call, I hear my daughter crying and I was like, okay, well maybe it's just something just happened or, you know, my sister, I trust her, she can handle it. 25 minutes later, this girl did not stop crying. Like it was like the dry heaving type cry, like, you know. If other mom, and so I told my clients like. One second. Lemme just go check on my daughter. Go check on her. Sure enough, she's crying her head off. My sister's like, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to do. Like, I've tried everything. She's just not having it. I'm like, totally fine. So I bring my daughter with me onto the call and um, my client's super cool. She's a mom herself. She's actually pregnant with her second one. Like she totally gets it. And so if you know at any point in time. My daughter decides to do this. This was like actually the perfect call to do it on, because my client was so chill about it. But, um, then my sister came in later and she was like, are you okay? Like, she whispered and I was like, oh, it's fine, it's fine. But she still like stayed in the bedroom to like, try to play with my daughter so that I could still give my client some attention. Um. I even offered her like another 30 minute call, you know, to make up for, and she's like, no, it's totally fine. Like, you know, we're still going. So I was like, okay. Awesome. So then, um, we ended that call and we, after the call, we went home. It was the second nap time, and then that was pretty much the end of the day until my parents got home. We had dinner and all that stuff. And I'm sitting here. My point is this is where emotional intelligence really comes into play. If you missed my episode from last week, go check it out because I do a deeper dive into emotional intelligence and why we need that as business owners to be resilient. But there have been, there were so many moments today. Where I could have totally lost it and spiraled. Right? Like the thoughts of I didn't get any work done or, you know, this is so hard and. Um, victim. You know, I'm the mom. This is, you know, my daughter who doesn't want anybody else but me. How in the world am I supposed to do this? When she was on the call with my client, my thought was, this is so unprofessional, right? Like, I could have easily allowed pretty much every hour of the day to let myself spiral, let myself feel sorry for myself, let myself be like, throw up my hands and just be like, this is hard. Like, fuck it. I can't do it. But I'm so proud of myself for one, my past self and how much work I've done and the personal development that I've gone through and done, because my baseline of emotional regulation is, I would argue pretty solid, but. And despite that, I was so emotionally intelligent and I have to say resilient today because anytime my daughter did something or cry or I had to cancel a call or hop off a call early, I didn't make it mean something about myself. I didn't make it mean something about my business. I didn't make it mean that I'm failing. I just paused. I took a deep breath in. I was like, okay. This is what it is, right? Like that self-regulation through breath work was huge. And then I just responded like, I just go into solution mode, right? So like, okay, my, my mom's leaving now at eight 30. That's when my call is. Okay, we're gonna reschedule. That's the solution. Okay. My daughter wants my attention and is losing it on my mastermind call. Okay. We're gonna hop off early. My daughter is screaming her head off while I'm on this private client call. Okay, we're gonna go check on her and then we're gonna communicate this to my client, and then we're even gonna offer another solution about another additional 30 minute call to make up for it so that we still respect her time. And so it's like I just constantly kick into solution mode because what else can I do? If I bitch and complain and feel sorry for myself, that's not gonna help my situation. Like, that's not gonna help my daughter. And if I feel stressed an or anxious, my daughter feels that, right? Imagine if I just reacted and lost it versus actually responding and handling. And so I just, I highlight this in a chronological order of my actual day because emotional regulation, emotional intelligence, self leadership, and resilience and real time is so, so, so necessary when you are building a business. Now, I'm a mom. This is my first year as a mom, and so yes, we're scrappy. We're figuring this out. But there are so many other things that happen in other people's lives that you could find every excuse to justify your inaction, to justify quitting, to justify saying, not right now, and I just posted this on my stories today because I was so inspired. This is what I was saying earlier on in this episode. Even though this day was crazy and chaotic for me personally,'cause again, I live by my calendar and usually show up for the things that are on my calendar. I just had to go with the flow. I just had to be flexible. I just had to figure it out. Like my circumstances were far from perfect. And I think a lot of us, especially early on, we wait for quote unquote the right time, or we wait for the perfect conditions, or, you know, we don't expect it to be messy in our business, and if it's messy, we think we're failing. And it's like, no, actually. Building a business is really fucking hard and is really messy. Unfortunately, you just don't see it a lot on social media because everything is perfect and everything is filtered and everything is a highlight reel. And I think, I think now there are a few creators I follow. I need to give them there respect. Some people are much better about showing the real and the raw and the in between and the messy middle and the behind the scenes, so I have to give them credit. But 90% of what you see is branded, is strategic, is heavy. Marketing is the the end product. You don't see the lead up to it. You don't see the hardship, you don't see the arguments, you don't see the tension. You don't see any of that. Right, that you don't see the process, and I wanna do a better job of just letting you in on that and, and also showcasing it as best as I can on social media because that's the truth. Like it's in these moments and, and this is where. I really had to reflect on it today because having this type of day, it actually taught me so much of like, yeah, I get like I get to have a business that is flexible. Like I could be so grateful for my day as well, right? Because. I didn't have to go into an office. I didn't have to report to a boss. I didn't have to make others like uncomfortable with my daughter. Screaming her head off. I have dream Soul clients that I get to work with because they're also moms or they're just, they get it. They're respectful. The one that I rescheduled on for Saturday, she's not a mom. She's a super successful economics professor at Georgetown University in Doha, Qatar. But she, and she understood. She's like, oh my God, please like take care of your family. Health and family are number one. And so having clients that just fucking get it and don't make it mean something like, well, that was a last minute reschedule, or like, I don't know, get pissed, right? And so it reminded me like, whoa, I have pretty fucking amazing clients. And they allow. This flexibility that I have really set up in my business to support motherhood and, and I should say early motherhood at that. Because my daughter's not in school. She's not in daycare, right? Like she's one. Um, it taught me today, you know, releasing perfection and just. Being okay with that. Like it doesn't mean I'm a failure. It doesn't mean that I'm not good enough allowing support, right? Asking for help and going to my sister and my sister. Watching my daughter, she tried for an hour while I hop on a client call. Like it, I just, ah. It was just so good for me to have a day like this because I could have totally meant, uh, had it mean something about me and my business. And I don't know my ability as a coach and as a business owner, but. All of that was like redefined, you know, like I didn't lose momentum today. I actually just practiced leadership. I just practiced emotional intelligence. And again, that was just so amazing for me. And I had this conversation actually with my last private client today of like. If we truly believe the hard times and the growing pains, and I always say building your own business is just like personal development on crack. You know, if we can really see all of those moments. As it truly working for us and seeing it as actually a necessary requirement to go through and to experience in order to build the business that is on our heart, nothing can break you, right? Like I would argue that my situation right now is a lot. For anyone to handle. A mom going through some serious health issues, not having answers, and. Trying to be the glue for your family unit. My dad, my sister, my brother, and my brother, by the way, just had a new baby, literally born like a week ago. And then also maintaining my marriage with my husband, who is back in Florida watching our dogs. And then raising my daughter and then showing up for my clients and maintaining this business like right. It's just wild how much you can hold when you view everything working for you and not to you. And allowing any type of insecurity, any type of hardship, any type of low vibe, emotion, to just all be a part of the process. We just open up our arms and we embrace it all, and we don't have to make it mean something good and something bad, but just neutral. Right. We neutralize the good, we neutralize the bad, so we can just keep going. We can just keep showing up like it's pretty wild because I feel like this fire in my belly is even. Bigger because I've, I've had it ever since I started coaching, but it just keeps growing and it's almost like the pain and the emotions and the hardship and the trying times and all that stuff is actually like gas. It's like lighter fluid. Because every time I go through shit like this and. Feel these emotions. It's like this fire grows bigger in my belly. Like I actually just want it more, right? Because the fact that my mom is going through this. Actually gives me more reason to make this happen with coaching and to build the business bigger and impact more women and help other women make money and show up for their family and support their family and do whatever they wanna do because it's my mom. And she has sacrificed so much for me to be sitting here with you all right now. And so to see her in pain and fear and crying every day. Oh my God. Like that just lights the fire in my belly of like, no, we're gonna fucking go. Like, no one can tell me that I can't do this. You see what I mean? It's kind of like this underdog energy, not that every anyone ever has ever told me like, you can't do it. Maybe behind my back, I don't know. But it's just like this underdog energy that I feel like proving. Maybe not other people wrong, but like. Myself, like doing this for my mom, doing this for my sister, doing this for the other women that also have gone through hardship and my daughter especially like, yeah, it, it, it's just all of you listening to this right now, like. If you're building a business while you're parenting or you're caring for family members, or you're also navigating like grief or illness or huge life transitions, you're stepping into new chapters, like this is for you and like I just wanna know, I just want you to know like I see you, I love you, and everything you're feeling is so valid. But also it should be the reason why you keep moving forward. It should be the reason why you want it even more. It should be the reason why you're even more hungry to make shit happen. Because it's like, what else do we have? There's really nothing else. So I wanna leave you here with about five takeaways and, um, again, if anything resonates, go ahead and DM me on Instagram at Katia Lillian. But the first takeaway is that business does not require perfect conditions. I, I don't know where, again, I got that idea from. It's probably from all the marketing that I see online where we only see the highlight reel, but it's so. Much further than that, it requires adaptability, flexibility, shit will happen. Life will interrupt you again and again and again. And success isn't built in these like ideal, perfect world scenarios. Like there's never going to be a right time or perfect conditions. You just gotta make shit happen. Takeaway number two, emotional intelligence is the most important skill you need to learn in order to have and build a successful business. You have to know how to regulate yourself. You have to know when to do this and what to even do. That matters so much more than strategy. Take away number three, messy does not equal Unprofessional. I, I used to believe that, but now that I'm a mom, I'm like, oh, messy is just how it's going to have to be. And I think what I'm realizing and actually feedback from my clients messy actually makes me more relatable. It makes them feel also. Seen and permission to also be messy. It builds trust between us. Like clients don't need my perfection. They actually just need my presence. They need me to give a shit. They need me to care. That's what matters the most. Take away number four, you're allowed to build slowly in heavy. Seasons. I think we're always under pressure, especially now this time of year with January and everyone's talking about locked in and vision boards and manifestation and 2026 goals. It's like, bitch, I don't have any of that. I haven't started any of that. It's January 8th, you know. So it's okay to go at your own pace. It's okay to go slower than what you thought was needed or necessary to build a business. Progress does not disappear. It just, just because a day looks different or a week looks different or a month looks different, like you'll circle back, you'll come back to it. Takeaway number five. You can hold both. I always talk about the duality of emotions, but you can support your family and you can raise your child, but you can also serve your clients and you can also build a business and you can have the highest of the highs and you can have the lowest of the lows in the same damn day. And it's just all part of it. It is a part of the business. So that's what I have for you guys today. If anything about this episode resonated with you, go ahead and do me a favor. Screenshot this episode, tag me on Instagram, send me a dm. What was your biggest takeaway from this episode? I love you so much, and I will see you next week.