Why the “Easier” Path Leads to Burnout (And How Choosing Alignment Changes Everything)

What if the path that looks easier on paper is actually the one draining you the most?

In today’s episode, I’m pulling back the curtain and sharing a real text message I sent to one of my long-term private clients - an accomplished woman in tech who has everything society says you should want… and yet feels anxious, disconnected, burned out, and deeply misaligned.

This conversation cracked something open - and I know it will for you too.

We’re diving into the two lies women are taught about success:
that the “easier path” should feel good, and that alignment should feel effortless.

Spoiler alert: neither is true.

If you’re in a high-paying job you secretly resent, wearing golden handcuffs, battling imposter syndrome, or wondering “Why can’t I just be happy with this?”—this episode will hit home.

I break down the difference between short-term comfort vs. long-term fulfillment, why alignment feels hard at first but gets easier over time, and how to start building self-trust and confidence without quitting your job or blowing up your life.

You’ll hear:

• Why the “easier” career path slowly erodes confidence, creativity, and self-trust
• The truth about alignment (and why it often feels harder before it feels lighter)
• How anxiety, burnout, and imposter syndrome are often signs of misalignment - not failure
• The exact mindset shift that helped my client make over $30K on the side while still in tech
• The four phases of transitioning from a misaligned career into meaningful work
• How to start exploring what lights you up without starting over or taking reckless risks
• Why courage, uncertainty, and blind faith are muscles you have to practice
• How to follow your curiosity, energy, and excitement as clues to your next chapter
• The question every woman should ask herself before choosing “safe” over aligned

This episode is for the woman who knows deep down that there’s more for her… but needs permission, perspective, and a grounded path forward.

Because the easier path doesn’t stay easy forever.
And alignment, while uncomfortable at first, pays dividends for life.

If this resonates, send me a DM. I’m here to support you - no pressure, ever.

Transcript

0:00

Hello and welcome to the Building Her podcast. I'm your host, Kati Lillian. If you've been loving this podcast, go ahead and read the podcast Five Stars and DM me on Instagram when you do that because I want to personally connect and thank you. If you are new here, hit that subscribe button. It really helps the podcast grow, and that way you'll never miss an episode. So let's dive in. Hey, my name is Kati Lillian, and I am obsessed with all things mindset, personal development, and helping you build the best version of yourself. I'm a women's life and mindset coach and an entrepreneur who started a fun hobby of posting hashtag sweaty selfies, grew a successful side hustle, and now I run a six figure coaching business. I teach you the secret of building a life that aligns with your deepest values and one that you wake up excited for. This podcast is designed to expand your mind and. Challenge the status quo. So get ready to uplevel your life and let's start building her. In today's episode, I am going to share a real text that I sent one of my long-term one-on-one private clients, and devote the entire episode to the two takeaways that I have from my text and this experience. So to give you a bit more background. My client, has always worked in the tech industry, So from different tech companies. She's tech hopped and always gotten promotions and raises, and she's brilliant at what she does and she has a very, very high position now at a very well known tech company, and she doesn't like it. She battles with extreme anxiety to the point of throwing up and losing sleep, and she suffers from self-doubt, always thinking those inner critical thoughts of why am I not good enough? Why am I not better at this job? Imposter syndrome. Is so real and she feels it the most at this new position. So clearly this position has stretched her so much that she knows, okay, I either need to figure out like, is this the thing I wanna do and grow through those uncomfortable pains or. Do I just not give a shit about this job and it's actually forcing me out because the amount of effort that is required to succeed at this level, I just don't have it. Because I don't care, right? It, it's just not my mission. It's not my purpose. I don't get lit up about this work. What she does get lit up is about coaching, and I've helped her. Now she's, gosh, she's just surpassed 30 K from doing it on the side of her. Tech job, so full-time tech, job and everything. I just experienced that she's going through and still made 30 K on the side because she's like connected and she's really fucking good at coaching innately, but. There are two things that she brought up to me this past week that I wanted to bring to the podcast because one, it's so powerful. Two, I know there are so many other women that are working really amazing jobs because on paper you've got the money, you've got the 401k, you've got the ira, you've got the health insurance, like I get it. Unlimited. PTO like health insurance. Did I say that already? On paper, you've got it made, but inside you are suffering because you do not like what you do. And you feel burnout. You feel anxiety, you feel stress. You feel like, this isn't really my strong suit, but I'm gonna do it anyways because golden handcuffs are real. So. For those listening. If you are in that type of situation right now and you want out and you already know you want out, but you don't know what you want, or two, maybe you feel like there is no out and there is no possibility and that. You know, it's kind of done, especially if you're in your like early to mid late thirties, you feel like I've already put in so much time into the workforce and into my career. There's no way I'm going to quote unquote start over. I'm talking to you specifically. So I'm gonna get into my client's scenario first, and then I'll talk a little bit more about my story if you don't know. But I wanna actually read this, the exact text I sent her. So two things that she had brought up in a voice note to me was, you know, there's part of me that feels like, why can't I just like. This easier path, and when she talks about this easier path, she's talking about her current career at this well-known tech company. She makes a shit ton of money. She has prestige and she's at the top of the ladder. She's in meetings with. The CEO, she gets unlimited PTO. She can travel whenever, wherever she wants. She travels for work to places like here domestically, Chicago, New York, but then also Singapore and London, like really, really cool places. And so again, from the societal. Definition of success and what we are taught to strive for. Like she's done it it's made for her, and so therefore it appears to be the easier path. And she's like, why can't I just love this easier path? Like why do I have to have a hard time on this easier path? I wish I just loved what I did, and I just wish I could give all my energy and my effort and my life force to this path. And then she talked about the sense of alignment or misalignment and knowing that, I know I'm misaligned, but if it's aligned, why does that have to feel so hard? Okay, so easier path. And then she brought up alignment. So those are the two things that I responded to her with. So this is the exact text I sent my private client earlier this week. And again, I'm gonna keep the name private obviously, so let's insert tech company name. So I'll say. Tech company seems like the easier path because it's familiar. It's socially cool. It requires less self-trust and courage because you get told what to do and how to do it. Clear rules, expectations, and predictable outcomes, but that easier path becomes harder over time. Every meeting takes more energy. You second guess yourself more. You try harder, but still feel less fulfilled and you make it mean something about you. I'm not good enough. This bleeds into your personal life and you slowly decline over time. You lose confidence, self-trust, courage, creativity, simply because you're not practicing them. An example would be like getting fit. The easier path is to not work out and sit on the couch binging Netflix. It feels easy now, but your health will decline over time because you're not practicing fitness, walking, jogging, weightlifting, yoga, et cetera. Number two, alignment feels harder upfront, but feels lighter and easier over time. In the beginning, you have to choose courage, blind faith, and dance with uncertainty. And that feels scary simply because it's new, but the newness fades because you get stronger in those areas, and so now you gain clarity, confidence, energy, self-trust, and actual faith versus blind. Just like the gym. Lifting weights is hard at the beginning, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes. So you have to decide which one feels worth it to you in the end. If you imagine yourself as a 90-year-old, old lady looking back at this moment, in this time. What would you choose? Simply put easier paths. Ask less of you at first, but more of you later aligned paths. Ask more now, but give more later. So that is what I sent my client and she responded with, damn, you need to copy this and make it a post. This is spot fucking on. So I'm glad it hit. I'm glad it resonated for her, and I felt every single word that I wrote, like it just poured out of me, because if you don't know my story, I was in her exact position. Three years ago, because I was at a tech company and I had worked there for nearly a decade, and I realized at the age of 26, so that would've been four years into it, that this was not my end all be all. I knew it already at that age, but fear, worry, doubt, disbelief kept me from. Going all in or just quitting and finding something else because I was so worried. I had nervous and, and honestly, I didn't know what to do. And now looking back, I'm actually really happy that I didn't quit right away.'cause I feel like that would've added more stress. I've seen so many stories of that too, and it kind of, you know, is counteractive to what you're trying to do. But I'm so proud of myself because what I did do is I took these steps of action. In the direction to build my future, meaning I, and, and I'll get more into these tangible examples for you. So you could also apply it and you know, practice it in your own life. But, you know, it was trying things on the weekend, it was going to different conferences, it was. Trying different fitness events and wellness events.'cause I knew I loved fitness.'cause the biggest question was what would I do if I weren't getting paid for it? Right? Like, what do I just genuinely love to do that the money is irrelevant. I could care less. I don't need the money. And that was at that time. Fitness and wellness and nutrition, and so I just used that as my guiding light and as my north star. And so in my free time outside of work hours, I just started to do more stuff and get myself into those environments and slowly but surely, brick by brick, I built this other world. And then I went all in and I left. And so I know it's possible. And so when I wrote this to her, it just poured out of me because I know the easier path is so sexy, but in the long term, it's not so sexy, and I know what alignment feels because I am truly living in alignment with my skills and my traits and my personality and just essentially what I give a shit about. Another question for you to reflect on is what can I not shut up about? What can I, you know, talk about for hours and forget time exists because I just love it so much. That is a clue that that is something you can entertain as a possible way of making money and starting in a different career. So. This easier path. Just to expand on it a little bit more, from what I already texted, it looks so appealing because it looks like the safe option. And again, this is what society. Persuades us into and essentially brainwashes us into now. Now granted, timing is everything. We're in 2026. Digital age is here, AI is here. You can make money from your iPhone, from anywhere in the world. So all of that context matters because if you're living in a job right now that you think is easier. I'm sorry. Open up Instagram on your iPhone. Post some content, like it cannot get easier than right now that this is the easier path, I would argue is entrepreneurship. It's never been easier to build a business right now, especially with the women that I help. And CEOA coaching business. Oh my gosh. Everyone has been through something in their life. Everyone has had hardship in their life, and so you can coach someone on that. You don't have to be an expert. You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to have it all figured out, but you have to be a few steps ahead of someone else in order to teach them. That's what coaching is, so. It's never been easier to build a coaching business straight from your iPhone, from a wifi connection, from your laptop and from anywhere in the world. So this easier path is very archaic. The 401k, the ira, the corporate match, the health insurance, like you can build wealth in other ways, make a shit ton of money online in your coaching business and use different investment strategies. Put your money in the stock market, put your money in rental properties. There's so many other ways you can still use IRAs. I use a SEP ira. Now, this is of course not tax advice, but you can use a SEP ira that's a self-employed ira. I just discovered that when I went. All into coaching, right? That's the other thing. It's like you just don't know what is on the other side until you try, until you learn what other people are doing. So this easier path is not easier because it's also hindering your health down the line. All the emotions and excitement that you bottle up and just shut away and sweep under the rug, that shit will catch up to you. So I get it though, right? Like again, I'm speaking from experience and I'm so sensitive to your situation. It's socially approved. It's, it comes with clear rules. Someone else defines your success. Someone else tells you again what to do, how to do it when it's enough, your quota, your goals. I get it, but. That doesn't grow you as a human. It's very robotic. That's what the educational system, that's what corporate America breeds off of, is you just being robotic and following the rules. But the part that no one tells you, and the part that no one prepares you for is how this shit spills over into your personal life and your health. Just think of the inner critic, how loud it gets over time. I'm not good enough. I'm the problem. I should just be grateful. This is the best of the best, especially if you have a high position, right? So now confidence drops, creativity fades. Your courage weakens, uh, decision making becomes harder because. Someone always tells you what to do, so you're not practicing those muscles. Your mind is a muscle. It only gets stronger if you practice it just like the gym. And so I think for you, if you're listening to this, what you need to practice is again, courage. And you need to practice confidence, and you need to practice dancing with uncertainty. You need to practice blind faith. You need to practice making decisions with no roadmap. You need to practice internal validation over external validation. So I wanted to give you some tangible tips. I have six here. So that you can take these and actually apply it and practice it, because I know this always sounds good in theory and in hypothetical situations, but how can we actually practice this muscle? How can we actually apply it to our life? So number one. If you are in a type of situation that I just described, whether it's was mine or my client's where you're at a nine to five, but you know, this is not it, and you are leaning towards coaching or even just entrepreneurship online, right? Building a business has never been easier. What I would recommend is actually don't quit right away, right? I don't want you to burn bridges. I don't want you to mess up any relationships because everyone has served you up till this point. You know, we're not demonizing our job or our workforce. I still have such great relationships with the people that I used to work for, but. What I do want you to start doing is practicing what you do love to do and carving out more time for that. So what that will help do, uh, what that will help you do is build and practice self-trust. So what you can do as a step one. Is, look at your calendar and look at your free time, outside of your work hours. And then I want you to schedule, enjoy, and that joy is simply again what you love to do. Money aside. So Friday night, do you wanna go to an art class? Do you wanna go to a fitness class? Do you wanna go try a new workout studio? Do you wanna go try this conference thing that you found on Eventbrite? Whatever it is, whatever feels exciting to you, just go make time in your calendar and do that. So you're, you're deciding on your weekly priorities based off of the amount of joy that it brings. I also want you to stop asking for permission on these minor choices. This is your free time. You do not need someone to go with you. You do not need to ask your partner if it's okay. Fuck that. You go and say, Hey, I'm going to this event, be back at seven. You need to start. Acting like you are in charge of your life and can make decisions by yourself, and then you follow through on those promises. You schedule it, you buy it. You say you're going, well, then you better show up. You better go do the thing. And then when you go do the thing, expect discomfort. Don't confuse it with wrong. Or our, you know, what's it called? Our caveman monkey mind. Confuse it with danger. You're safe, you're going to a fitness class, okay? But if you are going alone, it's probably uncomfortable. You don't know anyone there. Maybe if you don't work out that often and you feel a little insecure about your body, yeah, you're gonna feel uncomfortable. I remember so many times I went to Chicago classes, I didn't know. I moved from LA brand new to Chicago. I didn't have family friends or coworkers, and so I was just solo dolo and I was like, Hey, this yoga class seems pretty cool. Let's go. And I go there and I felt uncomfortable and I felt the inner critic pop up, but I was like, you know what? This is for me. This is for health, and you know what? I might meet someone. Just smile, be nice, say hello, and I'm gonna be okay. I had to like self-soothe my body, like, we're okay. We're not in danger. This isn't harmful, right? We're just trying something new. That's why it feels like this. Because it's new, it doesn't mean it's wrong. And then what I want you to do, after you embrace that discomfort, you're going to do it again, and you're gonna do it again and again and again. Until one day you walk into a studio and it doesn't feel uncomfortable. Now you know people, now you give hugs and shake hands and no names, right? That discomfort will fade away and then. That is what you measure your progress on. It's not about like, oh, I lost X amount of weight. Or if you're in a job setting, you know, performance reviews or again, external validation, your progress is internally defined by you. It's your energy levels. It's the confidence in your voice. It's the clarity you have in your decision making. It's the track record that you build up with how often you follow through. Alignment, rewards, consistency, not perfection or I like to say not intensity. You just keep showing up. And when you keep showing up brick by brick, that is when you build those qualities I sent to my clients. Self-trust, confidence, clarity, higher energy, internal validation. Okay, so that is what I want you to start doing. You follow your highest excitement that is of where's the money gonna come from and, oh, this is new and I'm starting over. Embrace it and do it anyways. Take it from someone who's done it and is on the other side, and is living a life out of alignment. There is so much more on the other side. You have to give yourself the gift of discovering it. There are four phases to this experience and to this journey. Number one, exploration. That's you following your highest excitement. You're exploring, you're discovering what you like, what you don't like. The newness of it all is actually very thrilling. It could be so much fun. I always say Chicago was my playground, right? It was my time to explore. The second phase is skill building. Well, now I'm building the skills that I need for entrepreneurship to build a life of alignment, the confidence, the courage, the conviction in my voice. Yes. How I even speak, the internal validation, making decisions by myself for myself. All of that is building the skills. Number three, proof of concept. As you go out and try new shit, your brain picks up little. Pieces of evidence and proof points. So you go to a fitness class, oh my God, it was so scary. I went by myself, blah, blah, blah. Okay, well you don't die and you come outta that fitness class. And so now your brain has proof like, okay, we did okay. We did our yoga. We actually feel better about ourselves'cause we feel stronger and we feel like we have more energy and proud that we did something new that wasn't so bad. Let's go back. And that gives your brain proof of concept, which then phase four, the biggest one in the last one is the transition phase. Now we have confidence. Now we understand what this other world is that we love. Now we probably see other people. Building businesses from it and making money from it. And we hear stories and we listen to podcast episodes, and we read all the books and we meet people and we're like, okay, there's a real world out here that I actually love more than my current world. And that's where that transition phase comes in. That is where we then finally can say, you know what? I quit my job. I'm gonna do this. Or you know what? I replaced my income and now I can actually do this thing. That is what I wanted to share with you today. The easier path is not easier. Later on. It actually just gets harder and people live and regret when they reflect back on their life. They're like, I wish I just tried more shit. I wish I was just more of myself, right? So that is your heart that you are choosing later in life versus alignment. That is harder now I get it. It's scary, but later on you're going to be clapping for yourself and you're gonna be so proud of yourself versus feeling disappointed. So that's what I have for you today. If anything about this episode, re. Resonated with you. Please send me a DM on Instagram. I would love to connect and just find out where you're at and see if I can help you. Just even words of encouragement. I never want you to slide into my DMS and think I'm gonna pressure you and sell you on something. It's always too support you. Always, always, always, I have the purest intentions. You can ask any of my clients that I've ever worked with, so I would love to hear from you and I hope this helped someone. I love you so much and I will see you next week.