Things Are Changing...The Decision I've Made & How I Will Embrace A New Identity

This episode is raw, real and vulnerable as I bring you behind the scenes of what I'm experiencing in real time. 

On the tailend of my SheEO launch, I discovered Jessi Jean's Yap Challenge and I'm so excited for what's to come in terms of content creation. 

I'm making a switch from a title and I feel like it's going to be a big change with big rewards. 

Tune in and DM me on Instagram what resonates the most with you.

Transcript

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Hello, and welcome back to the Building Her podcast. I'm your host, Katia Lillian. If you've been loving this podcast, go ahead and rate the podcast five stars and DM me on Instagram when you do that because I want to personally reach out and thank you. If you are new here, hit that subscribe button. It really helps the podcast grow, and that way you will never miss an episode. So let's dive in Hey, my name is Katia Lillian, and I am obsessed with all things mindset, personal development, and helping you build the best version of yourself. I'm a women's life and mindset coach and an entrepreneur who started a fun hobby of posting #sweatyselfies, grew a successful side hustle, and now I run a six-figure coaching business. I teach you the secret of building a life that aligns with your deepest values and one that you wake up excited for. This podcast is designed to expand your mind and challenge the status quo. So get ready to uplevel your life and let's start building her. As I prepared for this podcast today, I really was thinking, "Okay, what should I share? What do people need to hear? What's the value that I can give?" And I tend to go into this creation mode, right? What can I create in terms of episodes, um, that I feel like are necessary and important for you to gain value? That's, of course, the mission behind Building Her is giving and service, and my intention is very pure, and it has been since day one. However, when I I guess being vulnerable. When I show up online, whether it's social media or here on the podcast, I don't know, there's still a, a piece of me that feels like I need to perform, and I need to create, and I need to have this big production in order for it to be good enough or valuable so that you gain something from it. And if you listened to last week's episode, that was my most raw, real, honest episode in my opinion to date because I just let you in in real time what was going on in my world behind the scenes of my She-E-O launch. And it felt so good to just tell you exactly what's going on in real time. Not a lesson, not five tips, not, you know, giving you something that I was l- that I learned in the past, but more so giving you a look in real time of what's going on. And I think it's more vulnerable because it's in real time, and I really like that, and I'm going to continue doing that. So when I thought of this episode, I caught myself because I went back into the thinking of create. But, um, there's some creators that talk about it, but Gary Vaynerchuk, if you're familiar, Gary Vee was the first one where I heard it where he said, "Document, don't create." And so I caught myself creating again, and I was like, actually, what do I just wanna document right now? What do I just wanna share with people right now in real time? And so what came up for me is I'm having conversations with friends, l- many, many conversations with Burt, um, some conversations with my mom to figure out what is my next move in business. And so I wanna let you in with what I am working through and things that I'm changing in real time in my business. So to give you some background, I was on a call with one of my good friends, Amber. She's been on the podcast twice, um, Amber Figlo, and she is just so amazing. She is also local in Florida, and we've had so many girl dinner dates, and we pick each other's brain and brainstorm because she's in the marketing strategy world, and she's built up a following and all this stuff. Like, I really look up to her for everything that she has done and built and what she continues to do. So I was on a call with her yesterday really just brainstorming and checking in with each other Since I'm here in California. And, um, it was interesting what came up for me 'cause as we were talking, we were talking about, you know, n- new vision and inspiration and how we wanna pivot and change certain things. And what came up for me was when I thought about letting go of She-e-o I felt like it was me essentially quitting and watching my business crash and burn just to start over again. And obviously that didn't feel good. And so I didn't want to retire it, and that is why I thought I needed to inject new energy into the program. So Amber is actually the one who also took my photos for the rebrand. Um, and then that's also why I invited Cassie into my world for the somatic breathwork. Like, again, intention is always pure, and I really thought I just needed to inject some new energy to feel, you know, excited about it again. And then when the result happened, I realized, okay, my instinct, my intuition pre-launch actually had nothing to do with that. It was telling me, "You need to step away." And that was obviously harder because the story in my head with stepping away from She-E-O was... I mean, this was the second, third year of doing this, and it took, of course, so much time, money, effort, courage to sell the damn thing, right? And come up with the thing, and record 16 business trainings. But what I'm learning is that is the entrepreneurship life cycle. You create something because in real time it feels exciting and new, and you wanna put it out there in the world, and you essentially let it live until it doesn't wanna live anymore. And then you can pause it, you can turn it into a digital course, you can move on to something else. But that is what it is. And this was my first experience really learning that lesson, and experiencing that a little bit. And it didn't come up, you know, vocally. I couldn't articulate that until I was on the call with Amber just yesterday. So that's what I've realized, is if I look at my business now, I launched this podcast, I launched The Big Shift, I launched She-E-O, and that's been the last three years. And so when you're building and creating this stuff, you think you're on this upward trajectory, right? 'Cause it's like, okay, I'm, I just launched my first group program, and then, okay, I launched my second group program, and I can launch these programs, you know, once, twice, three times a year, and there's more income attached to that, and we're growing and... Right? But in my opinion and the way I'm experiencing it now, that's actually not the case. You build something, you create something, you put it out there, you make money, but that doesn't mean that that thing, that launch, that program is gonna last forever. Because you grow, you change. The clients grow and change. The economy changes. Um, what people even want changes. Like, it's just all about change. And I think the more... If I were to stay stuck in My old identity pre-motherhood and stuck in this story of, "No, this is what I've built, and I gotta continue, and I've gotta relaunch, and I've gotta just change it up, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." That wouldn't serve me, and that would actually slow me down because the next thing, which I'll get into, is right here, right now, it feels so energetically charged. And when I say energetically charged, it means I'm excited. It means it feels lighter. It feels relieving. It feels like, okay, this is the next step. Like, I truly feel like I have so much clarity with where I want to move into and pivot essentially. So that's a long-winded s- way to say I basically am... I've retired The Big Shift, and I am retiring She-E-O. And I now don't see that as starting over. It served a purpose in its time, and maybe there's going to be different versions of it and, you know, whatever. But right now, the way it was sold and the way it was structured is no more. And I actually feel, when I say that out loud, I feel really confident and just really, like, sure of that decision. And I trust that it's not starting over because I have a wealth of knowledge now actually doing it and going through it, the ups and the downs of it. So it's not starting over. It's propped up on the knowledge that I have and, um, just knowing that I need to let it go in order to move forward. So, um, there's a lot that's going to be changing. I'm actively working on it right now in the background. I've been a little quiet on social media because I've been giving more of my energy essentially going back to the drawing board and looking at my business and the way it's structured and my offerings and my product suite and everything. It's pretty much getting a huge overhaul. And, um, again, I'm really excited about it, and that's naturally where I wanna give my energy, which just shows me everything, you know? Um, I, I also need to say... So I've been already feeling that way, and that was pre-She-E-O, this launch. So think, like, pretty much all year. January, February. I was supposed to originally launch it in March, and then it got pushed back to April, and then it got pushed back to May, and then it was supposed to launch here, uh, first week of June. And so it kept getting pushed back, and I kept refreshing and revamping and using the new photos and all that stuff. And so I kept pushing it back. So there was already a feeling, right, of let's call it unease and, um, just, uh, essentially unsure. I thought I was injecting new energy into it, but it wasn't. So- Once SheEO happened, um, or, or the result happened, guess who decided to, um, push her six-week YAP challenge And I'm sure some of you are already thinking of the name because she went viral and she's everywhere. Miss Jessie Jean. And I don't find it ironic whatsoever that she pushed out that launch, had an amazing $1.23 million launch right on the tail end of my failed She-E-O launch. And because of that feeling tied to that and because of that result, I then was inclined to invest. I felt a pull to invest into her six-week YAP Challenge. It was 297, 300 bucks, so it's kind of a no-brainer. Which, really smart for her to do that, you know? But, um, I've been following her for a while. It's not like she just popped up on my feed, but in that moment she just announced the six-week YAP Challenge. So it felt very timely, and I was vulnerable, and I saw this YAP Challenge. I was like, "You know what? Why not?" I saw the price point. I'm... You guys know me, I'm always about reinvesting into myself from the business, and so that's what I did. The reason why I love her, um, just her story alone, I feel so seen with the chapter in my life right now because she's also 35. She's also a mom, which is the biggest one, and I'll get into more of that. She is in an interracial marriage. Her husband is Vietnamese. And, um, I saw... I found her old account from where she was a coach for binge eating recovery, and the very last video is her talking to the camera just sharing about why she decided to start a new account and what she had to let go of. And her story about letting go of her old identity and stepping into a new one and, and permission for herself to step into a new one hit me like a ton of bricks because she was able to put language to what I was feeling on the inside. So I am a mom, if you're new here, uh, 18 months postpartum. And I had originally given myself a four-month maternity leave, and I prepped all my podcast episodes for four months. And I just thought after the four months I would snap back into my business and, you know, pop back in and do what I was doing. But I was reborn. When women, moms say that it's not just a birth of the child, it's a rebirth of you a- as a woman because Again, how do you put it into words? It's th- the old version of you essentially has to die in order for you to take care of this human. And it's such a beautiful, you know, unbecoming, unraveling type of experience. But it is also really, really hard because your old identity, pre-mom, pre-motherhood, will not allow you to go into motherhood as the best mom that you can be. So you really do need to let go of that version of yourself so that you can step into this new version of yourself. And the new version, in my opinion, is bolder, brighter, smarter, moves faster, makes decisions more quickly, like go, go, go, and I love that about me. Um, I've shared in multiple episodes before, what used to take me three hours takes me now 30 minutes, you know? So I think it's only been the ultimate up-level for me. But within that, it was still very hard. Lots of tears were shed, lots of fights with my husband, bickering, lots of insecure thoughts. All of that happens as well when you not decide, you kinda like, you're forced to come to reality of like, "Okay, this is my life now. I, I have to let that version go." And she talks about that in her video. And so there was a reason why I was pulled to her. The Six Week Gap Challenge in terms of the timing right after my SheEO launch, I mean, that's crazy. That's so serendipitous, you know? But before that, it I had so many similarities with her, and I felt so seen just by her and her story and motherhood. And then that video popped up, and then I also was like, "Wow," like, "I... This is what I needed to see. This is what I needed to, to hear." So, um- It gave me words to articulate here today, uh, that I am fully letting go of the old version of Katia, which means also my offers and, um, even the way I show up online. And so I think that's the biggest thing that's going to change here moving forward is just how I show up. I mean, already with these last two episodes, I don't know if you can hear it, but it also feels very different for me in terms of how I prep for it, but also how I talk and how I show up, and even what I'm talking about. Um, the biggest, uh, light bulb moment for me in deciding to let go of my identity and really step into this new version, this new chapter, trusting that it will only be bigger and better than what I've built before, is actually letting go of the title of coach and turning it into a label of creator. Now, within the creator label, I am still going to offer coaching. I have my private clients right now. I love them. A lot of them are renewing. I don't want them to go anywhere, right? I'm not going anywhere. So I still wanna serve in that capacity But what I mean just f- and this is more just me personally, the way I see creation now, content, is less of the coach hat and more of the creator hat. Because when you have a coach hat on, or, or at least for me, I need to speak about myself here. When I had a coach hat on, I felt like I needed to be the expert. And essentially... Well, yeah, I felt like I needed to be the expert, and therefore, when I look at my content now, it feels very performative. It feels very like I'm talking at you or, or I hate to even say this, down to you. Versus when I think about a creator label, I'm just creating. I'm just sharing. I'm just letting you in. I don't know everything, and I never will. No one ever will. But I have learned things along the way. I have lessons that I have from my experience. I have certain frameworks and processes that I have picked up along the way in my coaching career, and that's still what I coach on. But when it comes time to show up on social media, I feel like I just need to share those lessons, share the framework, share the process from a place of giving and service, but also owning up to the fact that I'm not an expert. I'm not above you. I'm, I'm not on a pedestal. And I apologize if I ever made you feel that way or if I ever came across that way. I mean, now you know why, right? It's, it's the inner turmoil of my own process of evolution and letting go of an old identity and now stepping into a new identity and becoming a mom. It's, it's just wild to me how I can see that now more clearly. But I guarantee, you know, talk to me 18 months ago, I probably couldn't have seen that. I c- I probably didn't see an issue with the coach label, right? And so This season, this chapter, post-motherhood, and letting go of my old identity, it feels really good to remove the word coach, 'cause that's attached to my old identity, and replace it with the new identity, the new word of creator. And so I think you're gonna feel a little different when you watch my content or even listen to these episodes because, yeah, I hope it feels less about Katya being the expert and Katya being better than you or above you, which, ugh, I hate that that was ever the case. If... I mean, no one's ever shared that with me. This is all from me and my own thought process. I feel like I have come across that way in my content, if I had to judge myself and really look at it, you know, with a fine-tooth comb No one's ever said that, thank God. But I'm also just being completely transparent and candid. That is how I feel like I came across. And so I want to come across more as just another woman who is figuring out life, who is figuring out a business, who is figuring out motherhood, and I have learned a few things along the way, and I simply want to share them with you. So creator feels lighter, it feels easier because it's less performative. It's just me. It feels like it's more of my truth, more of my honesty, and also in real time because I don't have all the answers. I don't have all the lessons r- in real time. Like, I'm going through it. I'm in the thick of it right now, you know what I mean? So that also just feels so much better for me versus waiting until I'm, like, through that chapter, and then having to remember, "Oh yeah, what did I learn? Oh yeah, now I can talk about it. Now I can give the five tips. Now I can give the mindset shifts. Now I can..." right? Because I'm on the other side of it. But I think, and maybe you appreciate this, to give you updates and let you in in real time with what I'm doing and, and seeing so that you just feel also more seen and, and perhaps a bit more relatable. So, um, I, I definitely wanna talk more to the camera, hence why... or, you know, because I'm in that YAP challenge. I'm not doing it in real time. I'm more just being a student and learning and all that stuff. Um, and I've already leaned into the YAP videos, which I really love, 'cause it also just feels softer. I'm not an editor. I'm not a full-on influencer. I'm just showing up to meet my people, you know? I just wanna attract my people. And so talking to the camera feels really good, but the way that I talk to the camera and the strategic piece behind the camera and what I talk about to the camera, those are all going to change because right now it was more of just, like, throwing spaghetti at the wall. And, um, recently some of my videos have done pretty well for my account. Um, one about money and how people spend money anyways, and then one about choosing your circle wisely. Those two talking head videos did really well. So I wanna lean into those more and then sprinkle in other things like B-roll or carousels or whatever. But the majority of my content will be me talking to the camera. And what I'm learning through this challenge is, again, how to talk, work on your pitch, the tone, um, the cadence, everything. She's really strategic about it. And then of course figuring out, um, your pillars in terms of what you even talk about, and a series, and all this stuff. I'm still learning. I, I don't even know yet what I- my pillars are or anything like that. Um, but those are the things that I'm working on here in the background in California at my parents' house. So I'm really excited for how I'm gonna show up differently and what my pillars are going to be. Um, the only way you can work with me right now is through private one-on-one coaching. I hope through content and seeing what lands and what people want or ask about, that I can create something that is a low-ticket offer so that people can buy it, get the value easily, call it done, be good with it. Um, one thing I've been considering and thinking about is I always have loved mindset, specifically how to catch and navigate thoughts, and then deeper limiting beliefs. And I do exercises and workshops with my one-on-one clients. I call them out lovingly on my calls, in text and voice notes. I challenge their perspectives, all that stuff. And I really love learning about mindset and how thoughts work and how beliefs work. And through doing, of course, and taking action, the thoughts feel like it's my foundation. That's where the big shift was originally, um, rooted in or rooted from, and all of that was from my learnings from my Tony Robbins experience. So it feels like that's very just me and my bread and butter, but I also don't know if that's what people want or, quite honestly, need because we also have to consider the world of AI and information is free. And so I don't want to create anything quite yet until I see what you, the people, want and need. And that's a strategy from Jessie that I've also learned is she pumped out content every day for over six months, and with one of the videos that did well, it was something about yapping on camera, she decided to lean into that and talk more about yapping on camera. And obviously, it helps that her following grew, and that's the proof that she needed to then sell this Yap Challenge, right? Because it performed well and also her followers grew, so that's your data point of proof that she knows what she's doing, and there she can sell it. So I only work with my private clients right now, and I'm going to pump out content and see what lands and what people want and need. And then I hope to feel inspired and even discover what that thing is and create something for you. So that's where I'm at in real time. I really hope this helps you feel seen. I really hope you feel like you can relate to this, and I really hope you see that this is what entrepreneurship is. There are highs, there are lows, there are pivots, there are changes. It is not this line up and to the right, like this upward trajectory. The... It's so many highs and lows and puddles and ladders and mountains and you name it And so I just hope I am living proof for you to not be afraid because there is nothing to be afraid. Everything happens for a reason. Everything dies. Everything is reborn, and that's just the art of it. That is the life cycle of building your own business as, as far as I have learned. So I love you. Thank you for listening in. Again, if you feel like there's anything you want to ask or share, or if anything resonated with you, feel free to DM me on Instagram. My handle is @katjakatja.lillian. And I'm an open book, and I would love to chat with you. And, um, that's all for now. I'll see you next Friday