Embracing Inner Sovereignty

In this episode of Spiritual Unraveling, Ashley and Nate explore the themes of inner guidance, personal sovereignty, and the importance of turning inward during times of external chaos. They discuss how the world serves as a mirror for our internal struggles and the significance of awareness, curiosity, and neutrality in the journey of self-discovery. The conversation also touches on the power of synchronicities as signs from the universe and the courage required to express one's authentic truth.

Transcript

Ashley Henderson (00:05.409)

Welcome to Spiritual Unraveling with Ashley and Nate.

We haven't recorded in a while, so it's kind of nice to be back thinking about where we are in our own sort of journeys and what's unfolding for us and lots of change happening in the world and in our personal lives. And so we were talking before about

this invitation in this time of sort of chaos and great change in the outer world, sitting sort of in the unknown as things sort of rapidly shift, that there's an invitation to turn inward.

Ashley Henderson (01:03.807)

look for sort of inner authority, inner guidance, inner meaning making.

creative energy. And that this could be a really exciting invitation, actually. Maybe it's always been the invitation.

we now have a greater permission to turn inward as there's less to hold on to in the outside world. And we've called this sovereignty in past podcasts. And that is what it feels like. It feels like.

Ashley Henderson (01:57.086)

Yeah, like...

What does my higher self want for me in this lifetime with these factors? So how do I move through the world from my own inner voice for what I'm doing here in this lifetime versus how do I maintain this identity based on perceived expectations that I

picked up as a kid or from the culture, from, you know, whatever, my own psychology. So it's a different looking inward. It's a different access point to orient to daily life, to moment to moment living, which is kind of exciting, scary a little bit at times for me. But yeah, I've been working this.

for the past, I don't know, 30 years, but really a few months, and really finding like a deeper sense of peace actually in this process.

Yeah. How's that going for you?

Nate (03:21.59)

It's good. It's good. I like listening to what you're saying. It's bringing up a lot of different ideas for me. One of them being that we have this idea that

power is this external thing that people wield over other people. We have this kind of like arcane vision of that word. And then we talk about freedom and liberty and you just mentioned sovereignty. And I like, it's making me recontextualize all of these words for inner work in the.

the, what you're talking about is this invitation to become your own author. The power that we all have to write our own story, the power we have to choose what we give our attention to and the call of the soul to really narrow that focus on

our own sphere and circle, our own personhood, and that that is actually true power, right? In doing so, not only are we enriching our life and kind of cleaning up our own backyard, so to speak, but we're also becoming a beacon or a lighthouse for other people as a way of

navigating very uncertain times. And I do believe that these things are happening on the internal and the external. I think it is all connected. I personally can dip in and out of what's happening with news and politics. when I'm in a good place and I dip in, I can see that most of what is happening that feels frightening or scary or out of control.

Nate (05:31.849)

is also stuff that lives inside of me. It is stuff that needs to be reconciled. And so you can really see the external as an invitation, again, to go back internally and address some of the wounds, some of these faulty stories, some of these cultural things that have been put upon us that

You know, the bigger part of ourself is then gently and maybe now not so gently asking us to shed. Say that stuff doesn't work. You know, part of the reason you don't feel good when you engage in this material is that it's not really for your highest good. You can keep doing it because it's serving a purpose. It's providing a mirror, a reflective point.

it's not gonna necessarily make you feel great. And when you see it that way and then you do something, you have agency and you take back that authorship, think that is you stepping into your power. So that's where your introduction led me, is to think about that. I don't know, what do you think about that?

Ashley Henderson (06:58.111)

I love that. love that. think that probably is the most helpful tool that anybody could operationalize if you're struggling right now with what's going on in the world. Using it as a mirror to look at where

Fear operates inside of you where power is out of balance, where you're handing your power away, where you're exerting power over others. mean, whatever the themes are that are triggering in the world or just in your life, who's driving you crazy right now is a mirror. This is this like crazy intelligent, you know,

aspect of being a soul in a human body that we are just getting we're just getting how cool this system is this like deep emotional inner guidance system if you are pissing me off that that is my

Ashley Henderson (08:17.598)

Yeah, that's an opportunity to really investigate where I'm holding a similar energy. And with neutrality, with non-judgment, with some compassion and grace and love even for the ways that we were just

led into false beliefs. We all have them. No one is immune. We've all been sort of, mean, the word I've been using lately is infected. I don't know if people are gonna like that. It sort of doesn't sound great, but that's how it has a potency to it. For me to see that if I discover, let's say, judgment,

myself which is an easy one because we're all really steeped in it but if I'm exploring judgment in myself to just see that I am I the truth of who I am is not judgmental. Judgment doesn't good, bad, right, wrong doesn't really exist there's just an is-ness to all of life and when I hold a pattern like judgment or codependency or

insecurity, don't know what are the patterns that I'm that I kind of consistently explore when I hold them in that isness in that neutrality. Yeah, just like pulling a thread out. Just pulling a thread out and I can more easily lean back into a sense of wholeness, a sense of oneness, a sense of peace.

inside of myself that's sort of always there, you know, waiting. But yeah, I just love, I love this tool of seeing things as a mirror and really taking ownership over what we can shift. Because what we can shift is...

Ashley Henderson (10:36.137)

is ourselves. We can't change the outside world, but we can shift what's happening inside of us.

Nate (10:45.859)

Yeah. Yeah. I think about it as you said infection. I hear you. I totally get it. Especially when we think about cultural norms and expectations and socialization stuff that you are literally exposed to. And then you most of us as humans, we embody those things and they

vary from place to place and culture to culture, but there's these...

stories, I like I think of them as like stories that have been told that are Not ours they were their stories that have been kind of passed down and they may or may not be helpful and a lot of times they aren't helpful and I feel like the the parts of those stories that make you feel small that make you feel bad or they

create judgment or they create otherness with other people. Those are just that that is when you know that's a piece of the story that isn't true. Right? That's the part where then you can look inward and say, am I ready to release this aspect of the fake story that somebody else gave me? You don't have to get mad or feel frustrated by the process. This is

part of the game, like we actually wanted all of this, right? We're coming in the sandbox to mix it up. But there's the invitation, right? Is this mine? Does it resonate? Does it make me feel good? Those are all good questions to ask. And as you were saying, in bringing a very neutral, introspective tone, inner tone or nude

Nate (12:45.259)

you know, to these moments of awareness, like, do I want to hold on to this anymore? Does this still resonate for me? And there's a lot of stuff that resonated for us that worked, that no longer works. And if you think about stuff like that, then it's actually easier to let it go, because you can think about it like an outfit you used to wear.

toy you still playing with or a book you like to read, it's served its purpose, but you don't need to hold on to it forever. Then you're hoarding. And we don't want to all of these outdated, outmodeled perspectives and points of views, and especially ones that aren't really resonant and aren't ours. So yeah, there's this deep invitation right now on

planet to go inward and figure out what is your, we've said this before, but I really love this idea. What is your soul song? And I don't think that anybody can do it for you. It's yours. It's, it's, it's unique to everyone. We all have a different variety, a different spice. I that's why you and I are very much into breaking down.

the separation between people and their divinity, getting rid of overly developed guru, worship with spirituality. This is a time of invitation for people to come into their own personal power and figure out what is their unique way of being in the world. Everybody has a different soul song. Everybody brings a different level.

people are finding spirituality and heightened awareness in lots of unique areas. Like it doesn't all have to be yoga and meditation. We like those things, you know, but I also like a lot of other things that are kind of crazy and weird that pull me in into myself. And that's because all of us have this different signature kind of stamp on us. And the more we own that stuff as we're going inward, the more we're being

Nate (15:09.389)

really authentic, we're moving into integration. Again, I do believe that that becomes an energetic frequency that gets sent out to everybody else. It's like a permission slip, like, hey, I can do it, you can do it. And don't try to do it like me, because what got me there is probably not gonna get you there. It's more the invitation to try to go there for yourself.

Ashley Henderson (15:33.505)

Totally, totally. I was just thinking while you were talking that there are sort of two parts of it in this kind of eternal discovery of truth, because truth isn't stagnant. It's always changing, right? But you can start to really tune into the frequency of whatever that signature truth is inside of you. And it usually feels like peace.

or relaxation, it might feel like kind of like coming back to a childlike presence, a childlike wonder, a flow, we have all this language for it, but there is like a sense in the body when you really let go of who you're not. So the two parts I think are one, really being a

becoming more and more aware of what's not true and learning to listen to the signals inside of you rather than looking outside of you. Is this person pleased with me or did I meet these achievements and these expectations and that we could be on that hamster wheel forever and never actually arrive?

Right? Cause you maybe hit one achievement, but now you've got the next one sitting there. so really we're now taking, taking their attention inward. What, where am I feeling resonance? You know, what happened? How do I feel when I'm in sort of truth? My signature truth, my soul song. And how do I feel when I'm out of alignment with that? And then you really get to start like releasing what's not true, releasing what's not true. And then there's also.

you know, having the courage to express your truth in times when it might, the cultural norms might be to not, or you've been encouraged to stay small, but maybe that truth is bubbling up for you to get a little bigger or louder or whatever it is, you know? So, I feel like there's two things. One is noticing what's not true and just letting it go, you know, letting it be like,

Ashley Henderson (17:56.471)

And then sort of starting the, or continuing if you're already started, having the courage to express and move more, take more action towards living from your authentic voice, which is just that.

is

taking back power, just that. It's not power over. It's a new way of holding power, which is I think what we're all in. We're all in some spectrum of shifting how we hold the energy of power in our bodies. And so what we're really talking about is...

Nate (18:31.587)

Mm-hmm.

Ashley Henderson (18:56.727)

power as living in your authentic self. Really, nothing more than that. But sometimes that's gonna be rubbing people the wrong way, or sometimes that's gonna be doing things differently than you've done before. And so there's like a kind of a little bit of a learning curve here, figuring out how do I do that in a culture that's...

pretty got pretty strong messages to hand your power over or not not be in your power. So it's actually kind of a sweet fun adventure, but it can be challenging to to really unravel what's not true and step into what is true.

Nate (19:46.925)

Yeah, I totally agree. And I think one of the easiest things to kind of start with, because this can all feel kind of big and overwhelming, is to focus on awareness at just a very basic level of how things make you feel. You know, it seems so simple, but this is why we

do meditation practices and do all these mindfulness practices is to create a gap between an experience and a response and to have a moment of that stillness or peace to reflect, you know, what is happening in me when I see something? Noticing a trigger and not.

following immediately down the normal pathway of the trigger is It seems like not a big deal when I say it right now, but that's a huge deal. That is like a very powerful move Towards everything that we are talking about it all starts with this level of awareness and you can even pull it back further in and bring it to

a word that we love, is curiosity, right? Which is like, I wonder, I wonder why that thing is making me scared. I wonder why that thing is making me angry. This is that curiosity, that interest, that different level is the gateway to all of this stuff that we have talked about. And holding it all lightly.

And we've said the word neutrality a couple of times in this conversation, but that is such a beneficial aspect of self-awareness and examination is neutrality. Because these, a lot of these stories and things that have, we've kind of unintentionally or intentionally

Nate (22:08.331)

integrated into us that may or may not be resonant they have there's up there they're charged and When you look at them and you take out the charge It's almost like unhooking the port on you it's like you find the thing and then you've unplugged it because the charge is actually where the story perpetuates and if you can create that little bit of

silence or stillness or presence between the old story and your response to it and then you can get a little light, be neutral, get curious. Then it's like all of a sudden this thing that feels like a shell or a part of you that's attached to you almost becomes like Play-Doh and you can just pick it up and pull it off and be like, I don't think I need that.

peace anymore. It's kind of awkward to walk around with that now. Yeah, so I think awareness and curiosity and neutrality, these are all feel like the beginning steps of this inward journey that you and I are talking about and bringing and reclaiming the power. From there, you can go so many places, but that seems like that's kind of a

a good first step when we're talking about something that can feel a little bit overwhelming, I think.

Ashley Henderson (23:40.599)

Yeah, I would go even farther to say it's foundational. It's the foundation and we're heading into retreat in a few weeks and it's the foundation of meditation. It's the foundation of silent retreat. It gets so exciting. It's daunting because once you access and

Nate (23:46.755)

Yeah, I agree.

Ashley Henderson (24:08.289)

day for longer and longer periods in awareness, the more you're in awareness, the more you're going to see about what your crazy kooky mind has been doing this whole time, what the patterns are, you know, and if you can bring in that neutrality, if you can bring in that compassion, you can really work that in this awareness and be willing to see the patterns, be interested in the patterns.

you're gonna see a lot of stuff. it's, you know, the more you, you're willing, the more you see, the more you work with these things. I love the way you said all of that, by the way, the Play-Doh and everything. I mean, it's, it makes it, you know, you really broke it down. But the more you work this, the more you see that those patterns were not ever really you.

Exactly what you were saying before they were just patterns you picked up. That's it

Because I feel like even being a therapist for so many years, there was this kind of mentality for so long that if I see a pattern in me that I don't like, I identify with that pattern. So instead of saying, here's a pattern, it's not really me, but it's a pattern that I've been kind of unconsciously carrying around and it's not working for me anymore. It's like, I'm that pattern. And so I have to get fixed or...

it's me and I'm bad because of it or I'm less than or I'm weak or this or that. But when you can really get into awareness, you really start to gain.

Ashley Henderson (25:59.811)

tool that it feels like a superpower at times because then you don't have you can let go you don't have to identify with these patterns they're just patterns and And then you can work with them You know all throughout the day. you know whenever they show up you can greet them here's it. Here's another pattern. It kind of goes on forever. I've been at this for a long time

And there's always like new patterns emerging that I get to explore. It's kind of exciting.

Nate (26:33.058)

Yeah. Yeah.

Ashley Henderson (26:35.019)

My clients will like it when I say that. I'm like, this is exciting. It's a new pattern for us to explore. They're like, my god.

Nate (26:43.087)

It's a new layer of the onion to peel back.

Nate (26:50.061)

Yeah, and then it feels like the byproduct of this is also a reinforcing or a deepening of your connection with your soul and your own guidance system. So the more we unplug, as you're saying, in that foundational awareness, and then the peeling off of these layers and the reorienting inward,

to truth, it becomes this momentum building thing where you will slowly over time stop looking at these external stories for validation, for identity, for personality, and you will start to shift that way that you look at things back to

what is actually for me? What is for, and I do think that that process is bringing you into communication with your higher self and kind of your soul, again, your soul song, your calling. And the cool thing about it is, yes, you're kind of always in this perpetual place, at least I think as we're incarnated, of peeling back the layers, but you also get better and better at hearing

the soul in following the guidance that becomes a self its own self-fulfilling prophecy and you start to follow that it builds momentum and then it gets really exciting because kind of the one of the byproducts of that well a couple of the byproducts one is it just feels good it feels a lot better it's a little scary because you're orienting inward instead of outward and we've been socialized to look outward and get approval

and so you're going inward and seeking approval from your own inner self. So it can feel very exciting, but also it brings about and encourages miracles in like synchronicities. That's when you start having like the really fun, weird stuff happen where you say to yourself, like, what are the odds that this would happen this way in the...

Nate (29:14.477)

this thing would show up right on my door right when I need it, like then sometimes it's important for us to talk about this stuff because those are actually like the signals that you are on your highest path. As in when those synchronicities really start to kick up, when things unexpected, amazing, or even just strange things start to happen, it's kind of like the universe's way of

giving you a green light, like, hey, you're on it, you know? And it doesn't always mean it's gonna be amazing and great. A lot of times it's just, it's bringing you to that next place. But when you really start to notice the synchronicities, that feels like the thing that I'm the most aware of is when I can really acknowledge that I'm orienting inward and not outward.

it becomes fun and weird and exciting, I guess is the kind of word I'm trying to grab for this word. It's like, yeah, a deeper level of engagement, excitement. You're like, wow, the world is this infinite place with all of these possibilities. And that, again, that power that we were talking about, that inner authorship, you can really...

step into it and get excited when you start to feel like the universe has your back and you're getting these kind of green lights, these confirmations through weird, serendipitous events. Meeting people, talking to people, hearing the same thing, phrases being repeated, songs coming up with words that were like maybe showing up in your meditation earlier that day and then you're really just kind of like, whoa, your mind starts to get blown a little.

Ashley Henderson (31:07.253)

Well, I've never had this, I'm so glad you brought up synchronicities and I've never had this thought before. But synchronicities are so funny because they actually put you into this state that we were talking about earlier. Like when synchronicities happen, you kind of get thrown into this childlike wonder state. You kind of let go of whatever you were.

thinking you were supposed to do that day and you kind of follow the energy, you get lighthearted, you get sort of in deeper trust of life and your connection to it. Like it has so many positive, I just have never thought about it that way, how much it induces a state of...

kind of presence, right? Yeah.

Nate (32:09.519)

it's an invitation to flow or it's a aspect of flow maybe is a better way to say that. That when you're in flow and you're in trust and you're in surrender and life, you're kind of co-creating with life, these are like the universe's way of sending you signposts. Sometimes they literally are signposts where you like drive down a road and it says something really weird.

matches up with something else that happened to you and you're like, whoa, actual signposts, but metaphorical, metaphorical as well.

Ashley Henderson (32:44.247)

Right, right, right. And that makes me think about something we were talking about earlier about this stepping into making your own meaning in life. you you can get synchronicities. You and I could get the same synchronicities and make completely different meaning out of them. And like, that's okay. You know, I'm here to make meaning.

for my own life. My life, I can listen deeply to my heart's desires, to my soul's calling, to my own like weird meaning making. And if it brings me joy and I'm excited and there's passion and I feel relaxed and I feel in trust, probably is a good direction for me to go in. And it kind of doesn't matter what anybody thinks about.

And I think that is what's opening up and available right now, at least for me. I'm really seeing like, wow, that was really our birthright. Like that's really the power of incarnating in a human body on earth, on this planet. Like it's so exciting to think about that level of sovereignty just

when you think about meaning making, because we're so taught from such a young age to adopt meaning for our lives that didn't come from inside. And it can be scary to take those steps because you don't know if you're doing it right. You don't know if you're going to have security. So it is kind of these, you know,

making meaning can feel like cliff jumps. And then as the synchronicities, as you take more risks, the synchronicities show up, it's sort of like, it's like breadcrumbs for your path. And as you let go more and more of what isn't you, and you step more and more towards whatever you come up with that's right for you,

Ashley Henderson (35:06.881)

things just kind of fall into place. It's a little weird. they fall into place. I don't understand that part. seems like that's the big mystery is, you know, kind of when things, but it's kind of cool. It makes life really exciting.

Nate (35:11.023)

You

Nate (35:23.361)

It does. It does. And I'm glad you brought in the scary part because I think this is where things get a little bit weird is that it's kind of like the conversations we've had around the void. The place of true creative potential is a place of no boundaries. And that is frightening to the ego mind, right? The personality construction, because the whole idea of a personality construction is

let's create a framework to kind of like keep us safe, keep our human bodies in this existence safe. But the soul is unbounded and all of the best inventions, the most amazing music and the most amazing artwork and all of the coolest ideas have always come out of the void, right? They've come out of this place of nothingness, unbounded infinite possibility. And it's...

It's funny because so much of our fear is kind of around like fear of the dark, dark spaces, cave, you know, it's like the void is scary because of how much I think because of how much potential it holds. And one of the things I think we can, we should remember when we're having this conversation is that what you and I are talking about are principles and they are going to be

very unique to every individual. And I think that's like one basic example is like, get a little bit, a part of me gets a little itchy or tingly when people have dream interpretation. They're like, well, if you see this, it means this, that means this. And it's like, I don't know. I'm pretty sure it's a choose your own adventure. One size fits all because everything. And so that's just a little cautionary thing around what is showing up in your life. Really own your own interpretation.

own your story, own your power to write it the way you want, your kind of initial thing is probably right. Don't turn to other people and look. That's another aspect of this trust and surrender process, which is giving the intuitive part of yourself more authorship, more ownership, more power. And

Nate (37:46.837)

It's a little bit tricky and it's even tricky in the self-help spiritual community because so much of what we've been told is like, you got to do the steps, you got to do this, you got to do that and then interpret it this way. there is a part of that that is true. There's wisdom in a lot of these things, but there is also great power and a little bit of fear in that ownership of stepping into the your own. You are authoring your own life and really your

meaning is so important to you and that that is, that's where it all, that's the focus of all of it. It starts there and then it can go outward, but looking inward first, which is kind of where we started this conversation, it's such an important thing and just, you know, the most important part of looking inward is does something, does it sit right, does it resonate? And that's why we can get in.

So in touch with our body, that's why we do these different practices is so that we can move out of the mind and the ego and into checking in, is this in alignment for me? And then, you know, that's a really good place to be in. then, yeah, enjoy all of the fun signs that show up along the way. Once you start reinforcing that pathway of like, this is my new orientation.

Nate (39:18.595)

We dropped a big invitation there for everyone.

Ashley Henderson (39:22.199)

It's a great pre-retreat podcast. It's a great pre-retreat podcast because the invitation is into silence and stillness and awareness. And then it's just this adventure. It's an adventure of noticing patterns, of getting insight, of discovering.

that authentic inner guidance. It's connection, expression. It's an invitation into this, exactly what we were talking about today. it's getting me all kind of excited to see what happens. Yeah, yeah.

Nate (40:12.473)

Step into the stillness.

with.

Okay, thanks everyone.