The Art of Presence and Trust

Ashley and Nate explore the power of presence, trust, and subtle energy in daily life, sharing personal stories and insights on how to live more aligned and empowered.

Transcript

Ashley Henderson (00:02.798)
Well, I can share kind of what's been coming up for me because I've had, you've been on this journey with me kind of in lately feeling like some resistance to just landing in myself. And kind of, I feel like now that I'm in a slightly different place looking back, it's like,

the resistance to the thing I've worked so hard to like actually create, which is presence and a sense of being and relaxation. And so it was odd to sort of feel this resistance to it and really be aware of it, but not really understand it. And in a meditation last week, I had an epiphany. And maybe I shared this with you, but I had this epiphany of

sort of a, I saw a, guess it was more of a knowing, but I had this knowing of this past life experience, where had there were consequences to me holding a power position in my life and really feeling into the fear and the guilt and the impact of that lifetime.

So, and I didn't really take it into a whole story. didn't seem relevant. What seemed relevant was the connection to the resistance in this lifetime, you know, which is a lot of times how I just work with the past life stuff, it felt really powerful. And what it did was it like shifted me out of the story my mind was creating about maybe frustration about feeling resistance or

Stories that were running that were up, you know kind of operationalizing resistance and it allowed me just to feel the feelings and then I feel like I've just since then been just kind of floating back into my body and and the state of presence and It feels different actually. It's like a different quality Then I felt before it feels like maybe it's sustaining longer and also it's showing us

Ashley Henderson (02:28.096)
really as patience in my relationships. Like I have a lot more patience like with my kids and my husband, which is amazing. That's the whole point. It's the whole freaking point of this whole thing is to like really be a more sort of present and compassionate person. so I'm just noticing that in myself, like, wow, you were really patient right then.

that maybe you would have been more reactive before. So that's where I am today. I woke up feeling pretty good.

Nate (03:07.614)
That sounds good, I mean...

I've had like kind of a different experience. I feel like lately presence for sure, but a little presence with an edge for me lately. And I don't know if it's cause of this Aries energy, like this weekend I could actually, I don't usually feel astrological things. I like listening to them and I'm kind of like, okay.

So such and such a planet is in such and such a place, but the new moon, whatever, had like six or seven planets in Aries, which is kind of an aggressive fiery energy. And I happened to have an Aries moon, which is like my emotional side. And I was like really feeling it. I was like, I'm edgy as hell. And I could just feel the kind of.

crispy pulsing energy. But what I was noticing was that it was almost like my internal bullshit detector was so high that as soon as I did something that was out of alignment, I immediately got like feedback of like, are you sure you want to do that? And I'm like, no, I don't want to do that. Actually, it doesn't feel good. I was talking to my wife about, was talking to Kelly about it. And I said, it's like I kept

stepping in dog shit and immediately knowing I was stepping in dog shit and being like, why aren't you looking down where you're walking? And so it was, it's like,

Nate (04:50.829)
unpleasant in the sense that it's not nice to constantly be stepping in something, but

powerful in the sense that there was no lag between the experience of doing something out of alignment and the feedback of my body or my energy saying that's out of alignment. So it was just, yeah, it was very strange. I'm coming out of it now, kind of on Monday, we're out of the weekend. So it's fading a little bit.

Ashley Henderson (05:19.118)
Totally.

Nate (05:29.968)
And I'm trying to kind of integrate and sit with that new, the new just kind of realization, like these old ways, some of these old tricks or tactics or things you were doing don't work. And also, how do I get a little more nimble with myself in the sense of maybe I don't have to step in something to feel the feedback. Maybe I could just

choose a different path.

Ashley Henderson (06:03.022)
God, I love, I'm so glad you brought that up because I actually really have also been having that experience and hearing you talk about it actually helps me see it differently because it is hard when you're in it, especially when you have a kind of a perfectionist brain or you go into your mind and you're like, okay, how can I problem solve this? How can I optimize this?

But the when I hear you talk about it actually I hear something's really working Like a mechanism that we were really conditioned to ignore is actually now Available, which is just an in it's an inside thing. It doesn't have to be a Mind thing. It doesn't have to be a should thing, right? We we use the mind when we're starting out on this journey because we're like, okay, I Need some map for how to

get more into my body, to get more into presence, right? Because we're far away from it. So then we practice and we practice and we practice. But I would imagine that the original mechanism is exactly what you're talking about. And I'm experiencing it too, which is an in the moment, internal signal. Nope, don't go right, go left. Right? And it actually doesn't even, I mean, for me lately, I've...

been able to not have my mind react to that with shame, which I think is also such progress for me to not go into, you should have done it differently or something like that, but really being grateful. that's such good information. That's such good information. And it feels like it's coming from inside rather than some kind of external.

idea of how I should be in the world. It's actually just what's going to make me feel good. What's in my own alignment. And that might not be what's true for you. Right? It might be just what's true for me. And I love that. That's so cool. Actually.

Nate (08:15.878)
Well, I like hearing you reflect on it and then giving it to me like, again, same kind of process where when you're talking about it, I'm hearing something different in it, which is my kind of frustration around.

Like basically I like that my analogy is I have a new tool, but I haven't used it very much. And there's that kind of moment where if you have a new tool and you're using it and you're really excited about its properties, you're like, it does this stuff. But you're like, but in the hand, like in the actual working with it, it's still a little clumsy because because it's new. And it's funny, I was I'm I basically

when I was reporting my kind of the way it was feeling to me, feel like now I'm like, you're bitching about a new tool. Like new tools are cool and they take time to learn. Like just go a little easier, Nate. Cause it's, it's.

Ashley Henderson (09:15.192)
Totally. I think it's actually a birthright mechanism. I don't think it's even a tool. It's like an innate mechanism that we have been conditioned to ignore. And you have done enough work that now it's here. And there's some part of you that gave yourself permission to be aware of the mechanism. It's always been there in all of us.

Nate (09:20.436)
Right.

Nate (09:26.75)
Absolutely, yeah.

Ashley Henderson (09:42.816)
It's there in everybody, right? It's not special. What's special is that you now have permission to be, it's you.

Nate (09:51.678)
Yeah, or even maybe just instead of permission, just I've turned the volume down on enough other nonsense that that volume is now like, yeah. I mean, that has like happened to me multiple times where subtle energy things have happened that have never happened to me before that are like just intuitive hits.

I mean, I spend a lot of time, obviously we do the podcast, you and I talk spiritual stuff all the time, but I don't have a ton of like big kind of intuitive aha moments, but this last two weeks, I have had a ton. And just like one of them recently this weekend, I was trying to put up this sensory swing for my kids and I had to do a work around in our new house to figure out how to make it work. And I took,

the holding mechanism, is like this metal plate that goes into the ceiling. I took it with me to the hardware store because I needed to buy new bolts and I'm there. I'm buying things. I get the stuff I need. I come back home and like anybody who knows the hardware store merry-go-round, I realized I didn't get everything I needed. So I was like, I have to go back. But it was too late Saturday night. So was like, I'll go back Sunday morning.

I went back Sunday morning and I got the things that I needed and I was at checkout. And when I was at the checkout, it was just kind of weird. Like the energy felt weird between me and the cashier. She rang me up, but while she was ringing me up, she moved this random piece of tubing that was on the checkout table. And she was like, the gentleman before you forgot this. He's going to, he's going to hate himself. He's going to have to come back for this later today. I'll just set it aside. And I was like, okay.

random like a little bit of an overshare. was like, all right, great. I get in the car, I go home. And then I realized I had left something at the hardware store.

Nate (11:58.521)
And I had to go back and get it. And I was annoyed with myself. was like, so I was like, whoa, it's like a weird deja vu. Like in the moment, I just thought it was random that she was saying that. And it didn't, I didn't even realize it until like a couple hours later. And I was like, I think I left that thing at the hardware store. And now I'm thinking about it in that.

woman was basically cueing me into, hey, you left something here, but I wasn't quite there enough. again, I don't want to go into my story of I'm not good at reading signs. My my updated story is I'm receiving signs and I'm getting them. I'm just now I need to fine tune my my receiver. Right. I've got I'm the signal is coming in. I

just am new or it's new to me, at least in my current life, starting to live from that place of like, maybe I should look into the subtle signs that I'm being shown instead of just the kind of obvious 3D big ones.

Ashley Henderson (13:14.254)
Well, I love that story so much. There's so much to talk about in here. There's so many different parts of it. I'm going to say one thing, but I think we can come back and go in a lot of different directions. But one thing that's really been coming in lately, because I've also done a lot of clearing of junk. I don't remember what you use, but the BS stuff, know, like the clearing away allows you to be more present, right?

and see and even notice the sides, which gosh, have they been there the whole time and we just don't, we've been on, tuned into a different channel. So we're just not even paying attention to them. And now you're seeing them maybe a little bit in retrospect, but, that's still a pretty powerful experience. but the, when one thing that's been coming in for me lately is this idea of using the mind to really focus like,

letting yourself bring yourself into focus and deciding what you want to use your mind for that. Like you can make decisions about how to use your mind and your focus. And so when I hear you telling the story, it's, it's, sounds actually super exciting to me. Like it's the, it's really the, I don't know why I would say beginning might not be the right word, but the beginning of a whole new way of living where if you,

woke up in the morning and you believed that your life isn't random, that life isn't random, that you have this innate internal guiding system and intuition and life is always responding to that and really working in your favor, then you can, with that foundation, and I would call that permission, because I think that's a major permission slip, if you really believe in that, if you

If you can cultivate that as a foundation of living, then you can say, okay, I'm going to use my mind today to really focus on looking for, you know, being aware of what my body's telling me, what's showing up as through science or situations that are here for my highest good.

Ashley Henderson (15:36.63)
You know, then it sort of takes a little bit of the over responsibility piece out and adds in a little bit of like learning something new when it's exciting. When you're just excited and you don't have any expectations, you're just like, my God, this is going to be awesome. It's just going to be fun. You know, I get to learn this new thing or I get to use my mind to focus on this new thing. That's what it brought up for me.

Nate (16:02.496)
Yeah, totally. And I like that delineation between how how you can benefit from the mind's strengths. Right. And then using it to plug into this more subtle energy. And for me, it's like in that moment, just to bring it back to that example, like the mind is good at figuring out like, where's the wallet? Where's this?

This woman is, there's something on the table and then we have the conversation about the tubing that this gentleman left. And that was the moment where the mind was like, this is random, but something else was clearly pinging. And so that's the point where I think in the future, the exciting moment might be, okay, soften and listen a little, cause you're being cued.

And this is the moment to kind of transition out of analytical and go into subtle. And absolutely the idea of that is very exciting because it is like a new a new way for me of being at least new in in recent memory. Right. Like maybe when you're a kid, you operate a lot more on subtle energy. I think they do. But I definitely haven't been doing that for a long time.

even though I'm interested in it, it's just, again, it's like that idea that I think with enough of the kind of stuff that we're doing, the setting intentions in the morning, journaling, meditation, blah, blah, blah, all of it, it's all there to just try to quiet down the old way of being and allow another way of being to just

Ashley Henderson (17:32.888)
Totally.

Nate (18:01.535)
have that volume be a little louder or a little more actionable for me at least. Cause I think in the past, I just kind of bulldozed through a lot of that stuff. I mean, I was getting signs. I've always gotten signs. And I can think about it again, when we talk about the first part of this conversation where that kind of like retrospective process that happens where you're like, oh, that was because of this and this led to that. But it happens.

For most of my life that happens like a day, a week, a month, a year later where I think back and reflect and like, that thing was part of this whole process. Much different than having a real life in the moment, hey, boom, this thing is connected to this thing or you're out of alignment and you're getting immediate feedback. It is a very new way of orienting. Yeah, it is.

It's exciting. It's a little strange, but exciting.

Ashley Henderson (19:03.686)
I think it's really cool. And I would even go as far as to say that I think the sort of maybe more prominent message than, well next time pay more attention or relax and soften. I loved all that. Is almost like a gift of the synchronicity or a gift of this recognition. Like it doesn't really matter truly in the larger scheme of life that you had to go.

to the hardware store three times over the weekend, it doesn't really matter, right? We can let go of good and bad around having to go to the hardware store three times because it offered you this incredible actually experience of a different relationship with life, you know? And so there's this also like opening to letting go of expectations.

And ultimately, where I think life always brings us into some sort of self-love situation and how to look at the whole thing through that lens of, I didn't do anything wrong, there is nothing wrong. Going to the hardware store, I don't want to keep saying grocery store, going to the hardware store, probably because I have to to the grocery store today, going to the hardware store three times isn't a problem. There actually isn't a problem. This happened to me, I was trying to think of, I can't remember the example, but it was the same thing where I,

had to go back. I had driven somewhere and then I had to drive back. And I had a moment of conscious awareness when I was driving back that I had been annoyed that I had to drive back. I'm thinking, why? Why do I need to overlay going back with being annoyed? And I just let go of that. And then something really cool happened when I went back. Now I can't remember the specifics of the story, but that moment sat with me of like,

I'm limiting my experience of life. I'm putting limitations on how I experience just being alive by having these expectations. And if I just let them go, who knows what happens and what can happen in a very real, tangible way, not in a fantastical way or a bypassing way, but like in an actual

Ashley Henderson (21:30.434)
way, you know, and if we're present and we're giving ourselves a chance to receive life as it's unfolding, we're going to see that. mean, we're really going to experience that mass intelligence or aliveness or whatever. It's like a, it's like a living on a different, I don't know, frequency or, you know, of how you really open to things. So, and, and

The all the stories are cool and all the ways that our mind can can organize it and and like re experience it by thinking about it are so cool, but the actual foundation is neutrality. The actual foundation is just kind of what you you describe like soften and open and release expectation and get into presence. And there we are. And I I would say another

big thing that's coming up for me is that is recognizing. So, you know, I've been at this for 30 years, practicing, practicing, practicing, but really recognizing that actual true presence, sustained.

as a human on the planet is power. And that is a very powerful way to live and a very empowered way to live because you're sort of deciding your perspective on life and you're owning your experience in a way that I think we, our minds have been conditioned to attach to all the shoulds and

how we're supposed to be, and we're sort of disconnected from the actual experience of life. So it's like a very empowering, powerful way to live that I think I've been easing into because I don't know. I don't know why we're so scared of our own power, but I am, apparently.

Nate (23:38.612)
Yeah, well, I think a lot of it is, as you were talking about, it just kind of comes from conditioning and then stepping out of that conditioning just kind of has an innate fear built into it because I think a lot of the conditioning that we all experience as humans is...

You know, it's like, it's consequence based. If you live this way, you're going to have this. Like there's a lot of that fear stuff that gets implanted in us when we're very little. And there's a very strong aspect of our brain, like the limbic center, that just, it's like fight or flight. Of course, it's going to get triggered very easily. And it is the kind of process that you and I have been going through over years and years is

calming that part, letting it have its thing, letting it be okay to have that response, but also say, but that's not really what's really happening. That's a whole storyline that is built on this conditioned implant that you have. And it's funny because it builds out quite elaborately, but when you come back to the core truth of was that initial implanted message,

or true? No, it wasn't. And then it has this whole big life span and a culture and everything that's built around it. And you were mentioning it when you were sharing your story, which was similar to mine, which two big components of it are expectations, which come down to control and temporal things like time and limitation and how much those kind of weird concepts

can hijack.

Nate (25:36.774)
intuitive or subtle energy living, like they're big presences in the non-aware consciousness. They take up a lot of space. Expectation and time. It's like they come into the room and they push everything else around if you're not aware of them, if you're not like, Expectation and time.

You guys are here, we love you, but also go play with the Legos in the corner, because we don't need you right now. Like just, it's okay. You know, you can have your say, but you also don't need to come in and bully all the other energies in the room around, which is kind of what they do. It's very strange. But I think also, well, I just wanted to say that the other thing that was coming out of that was, and you were talking about it,

Ashley Henderson (26:08.302)
You

Ashley Henderson (26:23.256)
Well, I wonder if they're, go on, yeah.

Nate (26:32.054)
is that when those pieces of you can kind of get a little chilled out, you do step into a more powerful and sovereign place because your guidance system is internal, not external. And expectation and time are external motivators. They are

things that live outside of you. They're not necessarily things that are yours. They're concepts. They're things that we have been kind of like we're used to them, but they're not inherent within us. Our own guidance system is a very different kind of energy. And that's where you were saying that the excitement is you can feel really empowered when you start living from this other place. And it goes back to our favorite word, which is just sovereignty.

You know, it's like you're stepping into that in a very different way. So yeah, go ahead. What were you gonna say?

Ashley Henderson (27:28.888)
Totally. Totally.

well, I think something that came up for me when you were talking, what is this idea of, of trust? And I think that, you know, when you're talking about expectations and time, it's like a distraction because we don't have trust. You know, we're not landing in a, in a seat of trust of, of life. So, we know then we have to overlay, you know, it's like, we create this whole.

Story about how life is not working for us, you know when? Actually life is probably working out More than you you could ever even know, right? there's probably more things that we could ever possibly even understand about how what this life is about and and and what we're all doing here, but I there's a good story about Trust that came up last week with my son where he

had an appointment to go take his driver's license test. And they got to the DMV. And he had already, the month before, shown up for an appointment to take the test. And he didn't have the correct paperwork. it takes about a month to get an appointment. So they came back. And they got there. And at the DMV, they said, you don't have an appointment. We don't have your name in the system at all.

He was there with my husband and he was so disappointed. mean, he really went into some deep disappointment. And, you know, as the mom, I'm also seeing that he's had a lot of disappointments in the last couple of months. So I'm also seeing that maybe those other disappointments were hitching a ride a little bit into this deep disappointment that happened because he was so excited about this test. And they had gone in the afternoon. This was, you know, it was an afternoon appointment.

Ashley Henderson (29:32.822)
And I called him and we kind of processed through and I said, well, what if you, what if you really trusted that everything is playing out exactly in your favor? Like what if this whole scenario is working out for you? And it really shifted him. I mean, he's very, he's just a wise kid. I don't know how to say it, you know, spiritually he's just come in with a lot of information. And so,

He really responded right away to that. They went back in, got in line again, and he, not my husband, had a conversation with a man at the DMV saying, listen, this is my permit expires next week. There's no more appointments. Can you just help me out? Like, would you, you know, would you be willing to just do a test for me today? And the guy just really liked him. And he said,

I can't do today, but come in in the morning at 8.30 tomorrow and I'll do this test. And so he came home and he was exhausted from being upset, all the emotional purging. And he slept for 12 hours. He got up. And my son takes ADHD medication. That probably doesn't take a lot, so it probably wears off by two. So was not on board probably for the.

Afternoon appointment the day before but was definitely on board for the next morning appointment. He had had 12 hours of sleep He had had this emotional release. He was so calm and he passed the test and Then later that day we had this conversation about trust and he got it and I really feel like for me that was a big It also gave me because we're also connected right this opportunity to

Nate (31:08.266)
Yeah. Yeah.

Ashley Henderson (31:23.574)
release some resistance in me and move more into trust and really start to open more into trust. And I think that's part of what this shift has been like for me, but it was just such a good example of how you can bring trust in in these moments that are, just seems like things are not working out.

Nate (31:42.429)
Right. That is a great story. also he and you and your husband, you all got to have this restorative experience with the DMV also, which is a human to human interaction. I'm putting myself out there. I'm being vulnerable. I need someone to.

help me out to go a little bit above and beyond and to get that confirmation that that stuff happens, you know? And a lot of that has to do with the kind of energy and the heart that we bring to those places. And you don't think about the DMV as being a place that people bring a lot of positive energy or heart centeredness, but it's pretty funny because it works there just like it works everywhere else, you know?

go open-hearted to this gentleman and he got this message, which is beautiful and I love how you're absolutely right that.

energy of anticipation, excitement, all of those nerves were there for him and how you and I orient to the world the way that we would tell the story is in the universe just gently said, go home, get a full night's sleep, get all your meds on board, be calm, go in with presence and pass your tests. And that's what happened. I mean, it's funny because we talked last week but we didn't record and

this was the major theme of what you and I talked about was stepping more and more into this deep knowing of everything is working out for my highest good. And the thing that I love about that message is that it works on multiple levels. It works for you and I because we just believe it at a core level that we think that that's how the universe operates, right?

Nate (33:40.605)
that we live in a benevolent universe and that the energy we put out gets mirrored back and that there will be stop signs in life that are usually there to just kind of put you in the right position for the next screen light. But it also just works at a very 3D level of saying, how do you orient to the world if you're always problematizing things or you're always in a place of

being angry or not accepting what you're being presented with, the world is gonna be a very rough place. I mean, it's such a different way. mean, for a lot of people that don't have a spiritual belief, it's just kind of positive psychology, which is, okay, I'm gonna roll with this. It's all gonna work out in the end. And it goes back to what you were saying, which is trust. And...

allowance and surrender and these words all kind of, they're all getting around this thing which is back to expectation. How do we release this grip that we have on expectation that again, I think is something that was taught to us or given to us that isn't necessarily, you know, there's a certain level of

understanding inputs and outputs, you know, at a very basic level, that part of expectations is a good thing, but it gets very generalized and overused in modern culture as to like, as a way of really ameliorating a lot of fear and stress and anxiety around unknowns. When really the unknowns of life are, it's the juice. That's the juice, baby. That's what makes life worth living.

Ashley Henderson (35:28.92)
Totally.

Ashley Henderson (35:36.056)
Totally, yeah. The other thing that I think is important to say about this example is that there wasn't an adult saying, stop being disappointed or don't have your feelings. Because I do think that we're, I know I can do that to myself and to my kids sometimes, but like.

to really be able to say, like, of course you're disappointed, but not be afraid, not need to squash the emotional part, because to me, a part of the story was a release of emotion, that the emotions actually move energy and help us, we need to be processing our emotions. I mean, that's a huge, huge part of, how do I say, expansion.

change, growth, movement, energy clearing. Emotions are so, so important. so his giving himself permission and us sort of not squashing his full expression of emotion allowed him to then move into trust. I don't think if he had had to squash that, if he could have moved into trust, because that was such an important part of this kind of story, the flow of it.

and we've been taught he ha he has big emotions. That's part of his ADHD or whatever ADHD, blah, blah, blah. Who knows who the hell knows such a bad name for what it is. Cause he's such a cool. It's like, doesn't feel like a disorder, but, but he does experience big emotions and, and we've been talking about how do you would do that responsibly? How do you do it in productive ways so that, you're benefiting from it rather than.

getting into trouble because sometimes it gets them into trouble. So I just wanted to make sure we said that because that's such an important part of this whole thing. really, even last week when I was tuning into that past life, it was about getting into the emotions. It wasn't about the story of the past life. It was like access to the emotion because there wasn't a lot going on in my life that was helping me access the emotion. was like almost when I got out of the way.

Ashley Henderson (37:55.682)
the emotion could emerge and just be felt. It didn't have to be a drama. It was just, there it is, okay. Now I can sort of move through that and see what's on the other side. So emotion, feeling your feelings. Hug.

Nate (38:12.066)
Yeah, absolutely. Well, just very simply, know, stuck emotions is resistance in life. Emotions that move through you is flow with life. I mean, that's a very kind of core fundamental principle of what you and I believe at least. And I love that. I love that you are bringing it back to that because as a parent listening to you, that is one of the cool parts of that story, which is

the trust you had in your son to move through his emotions without you or your husband necessarily putting your input in. It's like, you get to work this and I'm gonna trust you. And then also you trusting your own feelings and emotions of watching your young person move through those emotions and saying, we can all do this ourselves. We're all again,

We're all sovereign beings here and we can trust these processes. Very cool stuff.

Ashley Henderson (39:19.534)
Well, this was fun. This was a fun conversation. I always feel excited and uplifted and inspired and really moved by our conversation. So thank you.

Nate (39:34.805)
Yeah, thank you. That was a lot