Modern Nurture
On Modern Nurture, we’ll look to experts in thought provoking interviews, we’ll look to our biology to unpack the instincts and processes we’ve forgotten in the modern era, and we’ll have heart to heart conversations with real moms from every background as we seek to build a community where every mother and mom-to-be can find relatability and support. I am really excited about a segment of this show, called moms on the ground, where we’ll play real stories and clips from audience members.
Modern Nurture
When Do Tantrums Stop? What Changes in the Brain From 1–5
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Most parents ask the same question: When do tantrums stop?
But that question leads to the wrong answer.
Tantrums don’t suddenly disappear at a certain age. What actually changes between ages 1–5 is your child’s brain development—specifically the balance between the emotional (limbic) system and the regulatory (prefrontal cortex) system.
In this video, we break down:
- What a tantrum actually is (biologically)
- Why toddlers have meltdowns (it’s not defiance)
- How brain development affects emotional regulation
- Why tantrums peak around ages 2–3
- Why 4- and 5-year-olds still have meltdowns
- The role of co-regulation in early childhood
- How sleep, nutrition, and overstimulation impact behavior
- What actually reduces tantrums over time
If you’ve ever thought:
“Why is my 4-year-old still having tantrums?” or
“My child is so smart—why can’t they control their emotions?”
—this will reframe everything.
👉 Tantrums are not a discipline problem.
They are a nervous system event in a developing brain.
Instead of asking “When will tantrums stop?”, the better question is:
How can I support my child’s ability to regulate?
In the next video, I’ll walk through the exact systems we use in our home to reduce tantrums—based on biology, not just behavior.
🔔 Subscribe for science-backed, practical parenting rooted in child development and nervous system regulation.
0:00 - Introduction: The Tantrum Question
1:28 - What is a Tantrum Biologically?
2:41 - Ages 1-2: Explosive Growth, Minimal Control
4:39 - The Power of Co-Regulation
5:22 - Ages 2-3: Awareness Outpaces Regulation
6:43 - Ages 4-5: Progress with Setbacks
8:47 - Why Development Isn't Linear
9:32 - The Physiology of Regulation
10:18 - When Do Tantrums Actually Stop?
11:28 - Next Steps