Outgrow Your Excuses

At some point…
you have to stop blaming your parents, your childhood, and everything that hurt you.

Not because it didn’t matter.
Not because it didn’t shape you.

But because it’s no longer an excuse to stay the same.

In this episode, we’re having an honest conversation about accountability —
what it looks like to stop identifying with your trauma,
to stop using your past as permission to stay stuck,
and to finally take ownership of the life you say you want.

Healing isn’t just about understanding what happened to you…
it’s about deciding who you’re going to be because of it.

And that part?
That’s on you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

What is up, y'all, and welcome back to another episode of Going In Raw with the Shakira Sean. Now, y'all, today's episode is the cost of outgrowing familiar spaces. I honestly had a whole different route I was going to go with this message, but God put something else on my heart this morning, and I'm just about to run it. I'm about to run it. Um, yeah, so let's just jump right into it. There is so much power in our words. There is so much power in the things we do, the way we carry ourselves, right? There's just so much power in us that we don't even know we have a lot of the times. And sometimes the familiar space that you have to outgrow is you. We get caught up in oh, our childhood traumas and the things we've been through, and it's so easy to place blame on everybody else. Oh, my mom did this, oh my dad did that, oh my ex did this, oh blah blah blah blah blah. Nobody gives a fuck. Like, let's let's just be very damn honest. I'm gonna be brutally honest on this episode. Nobody gives a fuck. Y'all saw me get on here and tell y'all all my pain and everything, and yes, it resonated with you because you see parts of yourself and me. But in life, life don't give a fuck about what we've been through. The only thing that matters is getting up off of your ass and making some shit happen. So many of you are stuck because you decided to be stuck. You cannot keep blaming your life and what's not changing on circumstances that don't even fucking matter no more. Like, let's be for real. A lot of you are stuck because you choose to be stuck. You are so comfortable in your damn comfort zone. You are so comfortable complaining and blaming people instead of taking accountability and saying my life looks the way it looks today because of me. Your life looks the way it looks because you created that life. The only person that's been consistent in your life is you. Like we really gotta stop blaming everybody else for while we're stuck in our goddamn comfort zone. And I feel like a lot of us feel like God's grace, God's grace, like we cling to that God's grace line. But what you don't realize is God's grace will run out. God's grace will run out. I think a lot of us cling to the fact that God gives so much grace, right? Oh, God is a gracious God, he's a merciful God, and that he is. But Luke 13 teaches us that someone asks, Lord, will many be saved? And God is like, you just focus on you being saved. Many will get to that door and they're gonna knock and they they won't be. I will ask them, Who are you? I will tell them, I don't know you. And a lot of y'all need to hear that. Like, everybody's not gonna make it. You think that God is gonna keep giving grace, giving, grace, giving grace, but faith without works is dead. You sitting in your goddamn comfort zone praying and hoping and wishing that something is gonna change. You have to be the change. You have to get up off of your ass and say, I want different in my life, so I'm going to do different in my life. You're not sitting there trying to come up with a plan to create some change, to spark some change in your life. You sitting there saying, I'm just gonna blame everybody else for the rest of my life because that's comfortable for me. Baby, that's a decision. And you are making the decision to stay stuck. You waiting on, or you waiting on God. Oh, God is gonna bless me, God is gonna do this. Baby, God ain't gonna do nothing if you don't get your get up off your ass and say, Hey, I gotta do something. I gotta make the first step. God might have a whole plan on the other side of you making the first step, but until you get up and make that first step, I'm sorry to tell you, but your life is gonna stay exactly the way it is. We make so many excuses every day for why we aren't doing this or why we aren't doing that. But guess what? Hey, you're gonna look up five years from now and still be doing the same exact thing you're doing today until you decide and take accountability and say my life is this way because of me, and I'm about to make some goddamn change. There is absolutely nothing I can say on the other side of this to make you take ownership for your life. But you must know your misery is only happening for you. Your world is only happening for you. You came in this world by yourself, you're gonna lead this world by yourself, and everything that's happening in between is on you. You have the final say over your life. So if nothing changes in your life from today moving forward to the rest of your life, baby, that's on you. And you're just gonna have to take accountability and sit in that shit and stop blaming everybody else for why you're stuck. I'm tired of it. Like I woke up tired today. I woke up and chose war today because so many people sit and make excuses, and yes, I was that person before. Yes, I blamed my childhood, I blamed my pain. But guess what? None of that shit matters no more. None of it. Most of you that listen to me are in your later 20s, 30s, 40s. If you are still stuck in the same place that you've been stuck in for years, you have to say that I'm the goddamn common denominator at this point. It's not everybody else. You can't blame God, you can't blame your mama, you can't blame your cousin, you can't blame nobody but yourself for why nothing is changing in your life. And if we want to be real honest, a lot of adults are emotionally adolescents. A lot of people think because they out here paying bills or and uh living the adult life that that makes you an adult. No, you're fucking emotionally immature. You are still operating with the mind of a 12-year-old, a 14-year-old, a 16-year-old. Yeah, you just out here with the rest of us doing adult things, but that don't make you no man and no woman. If your mind is still stuck in a childhood mindset, if you if you aren't growing, if you aren't changing, if you uh still don't know how to communicate, if you still get mad at people for calling you out on your shit, baby, you are a child. And I don't know no other way to goddamn put it. Age doesn't make you mature, accountability does. Age doesn't regulate emotions, age doesn't teach you to communicate honestly, emotional maturity does. Yeah, you're getting older, but you're still not communicating honestly, you're still not taking accountability, and you still not regulating your damn emotions. Age doesn't develop those skills, growth does. And it's time for you to face your goddamn self and make some changes.