Road to Nowhere
A road trip without wheels. We're having fun here. Two brothers, Zach and Alex, and their friend Paul discuss everyday life. History. Pet peeves. Spousal issues. Costco reviews. Why is your diet not working? Did we land on the moon? We have all these answers and more. Join us. Who doesn't love a good road trip conversation
Road to Nowhere
How to teach your kids about birds and bees | Ep 10 |
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This week we cover 'Pandemic Abs' to the mystical enigma of Loch Ness Monster sightings. Gear up for a session filled with belly laughs and nostalgic nods as we explore everything from the evolution of the wallet to the complexities of the offside rule in soccer.
Have you ever been called something you just can't shake? We dive into the odd intricacies of the names that stick and why 'creepy' should never be one of them.
Parenting, Work, and Awkward Conversations
Speaker 1The only time I almost had abs was 2019.
Speaker 2The pandemic.
Speaker 1What was your uh Fauci?
Speaker 2you bastard? Was that Fauci? Fauci screwed your abs. Hey, I'm Alex. Here's Zach. We got Paul this week. I'm back and we cover, we cover. Old Nessie. She's back and she's out for blood. The Japanese are trying to blow her out of the water. They were we also. She's back and she's out for blood. The Japanese are trying to blow her out of the water. We also get into parenting and teach you how to be a good parent in these very trying times. Birds and the bees.
Speaker 1And lastly, we oh, we got names that people don't like to be called.
Speaker 2Yeah, we got a lot going on, so check it out. Give me your kids getting to the age where they're getting birds and bees stories and how it all works.
Speaker 1Oh, for sure he's 13, isn't he? What's your approach?
Speaker 2right now. And how curious do your kids care? So it actually sucks because these moms get so involved in our kids' lives. When we were growing up, you didn't go ask your parents about this thing and your parents didn't talk to you about it. You asked your, your pervious buddy about it? No, your older brothers or your older brothers, and they kind of told me he came to me and I was like I know less than you.
Speaker 1But we had.
Speaker 2Let's explore together.
Speaker 1Yeah, See, yeah see, I was lucky. My brother's four years older than me, so he knew something.
Speaker 2My dad seriously calls us. We had a hot tub. We get in the hot tub with my dad, which we never did. Alex was there. We were probably like 17, 18. I was ready to move out. He's like so you guys probably know about all this stuff with boys' bodies. I was like dad.
Speaker 1Our cousin had just impregnated.
Speaker 2A girl in high school like the week before.
Speaker 1Oh, yeah, oh my dad you're a loyal listener.
Speaker 2Yeah, great man, but it yeah. What? So now these moms want to get so involved so they get on amazon and buy these disgusting books and that when I say disgusting like, they're so disgusting right, that like will illustrate like karma sutra books. It literally if, like, if karma sutra books were like overweight older people like they're like grandparents. I'm like no, grandparents don't do it.
Speaker 1Okay, there's just not there's no physical way for them. No, they for sure do okay, we know they actually, I'm nine months away from being a grandpa, oh yeah we'll We'll check back with you.
Speaker 2Congratulations by the way.
Speaker 1I mean, I'm just saying it could Congratulations. Nobody is, by the way.
Speaker 2But, anyways, we have these books and they're just really grossly illustrated and they go into a lot of detail, which I think you can give a and I think I'm the best parent out there, right. So I think I'm the best parent out there, right. So I think you can give a moderate amount of advice without being like, hey, I'm going to explain to you how all of this works, right, upside down, sideways, wheelchair style. It probably depends on just the kid too. How many?
Speaker 1questions.
Speaker 2Because I grew up with some my family, never talked about sex ever, Like you, just didn't talk about it. I grew up with some. My family never talked about sex ever.
Speaker 1Like you just didn't talk about it and I go to, like some of my buddy's houses and the parents and the sisters everyone just talking about sex. I'm like this is actually kind of refreshing Like.
Speaker 2So I need to find like a. I'm looking for more like a middle balance, Like my wife is like I tell them everything from the minute they're two I'm like they don't care right now.
Speaker 1Yeah, they don't care. I'm telling them ours I didn't. I was took more of the approach like our family's, more, like you said, like we'll openly talk about whatever people are always making jokes about it. But what happened was coleman, when he's like 12 or 13, it was so hilarious. He comes home from like baseball practice or something and he's like dad. I'm like, yeah, my friends were all saying like 69, and then everybody was laughing. But like why are they laughing about 69? I was like, oh, this is gonna get awkward fast. Yeah, he was hilarious. Like, oh my gosh, why would you tell me that?
Speaker 2and I'm like I agree, why would you ask that? Because he asked, I just say, and his friends are laughing about it he needs to know his friends know like he's. It's not like he's not gonna. That's where you're wrong. They don't know. These kids will say stuff and they think it's funny. But think when you were that age no how much you said and you didn't understand.
Speaker 2And if you want evidence of this, go back and watch like simpsons or or seinfeld or some of these shows that you were watching when you were younger, and be like holy crap, I can't believe. You just said that and I never would have known as a kid like you.
Speaker 1You just don't. You don't really understand it Is this how your conversation went.
Speaker 2And he's like hey dad, what's 69? You're like well, son, it's just a super impractical sex move, Very impractical, Insanely impractical.
Speaker 1I told him what 69 was and he didn't like it. He didn't like it at all.
Speaker 2Well, super well, but I mean, I actually did know you super well, but I wasn't experienced as a father. So next time we have the opportunity to father for new fathers out there, come see me, not, paul.
Speaker 1What are you going to do If Matt comes home to you tonight and says, dad, all these kids were making fun saying this, that that I was going to. What do you what's like? What do you what all like?
Speaker 2it's very simple, it's a super inappropriate, impractical, yeah, impractical, impractical, impractical, like sexing. And he'll like I'm done. And he says, dad, what's sex?
Speaker 1well, he knows what sex is how do you know that he knows? You just got done saying he doesn't really know because kelsey's book.
Speaker 2She's got these books.
Speaker 1Well, when you're saying that, these crazy girls. I didn't realize you were talking about kelsey the book.
Speaker 2Oh yeah, All moms do?
Speaker 1What does she do? Read it to them at bedtime, or what? Let's be clear Once one established mom buys something.
Speaker 2No, it's like when they have a question like that, she sits them down and she opens that stupid book up, right. And where I suck as a father is I am like really into just being their buddy and I think there is a little bit more balance. That would probably drive my kids to do better. But I also think, as we discussed in the last pod, the AI is going to kill everybody off. So why do I care if my kids make it to be successful adults, because they're going to be and we're all going to be dead. What if you're wrong?
Speaker 1You know how many like years that people have been saying like it's the end, and this and that or the other will probably kill everyone off. They're like those communists they'll probably kill everybody off. And then they're like those socialists those kill everybody off. Those capitalists they're gonna kill everybody off and it just never happens. And so I don't think ai is killing everybody off it wants me and my capitalist buddies, so figure it out, I think, actual real life, having now fathered for 20, almost 22 years.
Speaker 1okay, it's a pretty good experience, right? It good level, same amount of time I have in the car business and people listen to my advice in the car business. So here's my advice Make your kids work. They need to work because work creates self-confidence, because they know they can accomplish things and they don't have to have somebody else do it for them. And having them figure stuff out like go mow the lawn, for example, like the first time Coleman mowed the lawn what a disaster. It was so hilarious. Was he mad when you asked him to do it? Oh for sure, he was whining and crying like a little baby because the no kid wants to work. Right, but making your kids work, it builds self-confidence and then if they have self confidence in themselves, they can accomplish anything else. Right, like you're not going to worry about your kid if he has self-confidence. Yeah, and I really believe the way you get that is to work yeah, self-esteem is big yeah, yeah, you have to make them work.
Speaker 2I think I have a lot of my dad. To me, though, is like I have a tough time watching them do a bad job, because I know it's gonna create more work for me later alex, he's mowing the lawn and this is on a riding mower, so I'm not even like making him push a mower.
Speaker 1Yeah, it was so hilarious. He like went up and mowed it and then circled around, and so the next logical thing would be go right next to where you just mowed and mowed the neck like the next part. Right, he went over the part he already had mowed once did you come out with your hands in the air?
Speaker 1no, I was standing up there exactly with my hands, like what just happened? He circles back around, like maybe he just thought he missed a spot or something, I don't know what he's doing. And so he circles back around again, does the same thing. So then by now I'm yelling, like what are you doing? Yeah. And he's like what am I supposed to be doing? Like you're supposed to be mowing the grass, but you keep going over the same spot, like you're supposed to each time move over a little bit, yeah yeah it's a what you said about.
Speaker 1you have to stand there and watch them. Oh, it's yeah.
Speaker 2Do you remember mowing the lawn back in the day? I mean, all I wanted was to listen to music. So we'd have these CD players. But my family, we'd never buy like the anti-shock CDs. We had like 10-6 anti-skip. So I would get a belt and tighten, put it right in my crotch, try and make it not and I would. I would mow like a stiff board because I didn't want tupac to skip.
Speaker 1I wanted to hear every lyric of dear mama one of the funnest things to do when you're if you're a dairy farmer is when, when it's winter, all the poo they poo it freezes right and so it's like an ice skating rink down in the corral and shit, yeah. But but you've got your black, you've got your black rubber boots on right, which are really slippery, and so you grab the cow by the tail and the cow just takes off running because it doesn't like somebody holding on to its tail. And you're just skiing, holding on to a tail, and you're just a little kid, right. So just pictured I don't know eight, nine, ten year old kid grabbing the tail of a cow cow's running, you're just skiing this is amazing.
Speaker 2It's amazing. I'm so jealous.
Speaker 1No, that's that's like a fun thing to do, for sure as a kid, but get all the chores done in the freezing butt cold, and where I grew up, the wind blows 99 of days, so it's like you walked uphill both ways of school. No, we rode the bus.
Speaker 2Um might be more torturous than walking was your first like when you grew up. You're like I'm not doing this. The rest of my life that was your. Is that usually the mentality of kids that grow up like that?
Speaker 1No, no, like my brother went back as fast as he could, my other brother wants to my other brother wants to.
Speaker 2They just like a little more simple life.
Speaker 1All of my friends, but one went, moved back there, stay there, lived there raising their families there. You sold out, yeah, like I don't know, they didn't have to milk cows, so I'm sure that for them growing up they were rich farmers. Yeah, it was rich.
Speaker 2Yeah, just throw some seeds out.
Speaker 1Yeah, they were beef farmers.
Speaker 2Subsidies from the government. It is interesting how the there's like these ups and downs of kids having everything. So like we had stuff, we had a good childhood, but my kids have everything and then it's they're going to be soft because they just don't have to work as much as we did.
Speaker 1I think it just goes.
Speaker 2I think it goes up. I think that's just how it is. It's going to go up and down.
Speaker 1I actually want to discuss this a little bit, because my son Coleman, did not do much at all Like he would argue against this because I made him get a job at like age 14. He had to come down to the dealership and wash cars and pull weeds and do whatever. But that's not like real work. It's not like real work, but he didn't really. Like you said. He he's had an unbelievable childhood like unbelievable but he's a very hardworking, motivated kid. So it actually makes me scratch my head because I always thought exactly what he said. It's like he's not going to be because they've made his life so easy.
Speaker 2He's not, but he's like this kid's really, really motivated. People can still turn out like tough and gritty without having that up. That's what I have learned, Not everyone. I think, there's a better chance of you coming out tough and gritty, having a rough childhood or like a tougher one when we had to work. But there is, they're not even anomalies. I think kids can just do it still.
Speaker 2So you think that's what it is, just anomalies, because I know another kid I don't think it's anomalies, I just think it's a less percentage are going to come out and be like these hard workers, but they still get some. So, like you, worry about this next generation because you think they're soft.
Speaker 1But I do think, like you know, they're going to come back and be good. Do you ever see Dana White when he goes off on this generation? No, oh, I'll have to show you that later. It's awesome, I know.
Speaker 2Because I think the same way of them. So you're thinking they're screwed, yeah, but I think we're going to be surprised that they actually like, like.
Speaker 1I love the way he puts it, because he's like if anybody has anything in them, they're gonna freaking dominate because 80 that's probably true.
Speaker 2I do think the cream will rise. That's what he's like he's like man.
Speaker 180 of these guys are so pathetic and so if you have anything in you, you're gonna dominate in this generation because they're so pathetic yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2So we're not knocking that. I'm trying to give them like props, but I do think that, oh, not me no, we're feeding that generation. We're we're fattening that calf. You fatten it. But then, the next generation might not do that because they maybe they don't have as much yeah, that's that.
Wallets and Reputation
Speaker 1That's the whole. No, it's hardies that keeps floating around.
Speaker 2Yeah, the hard men or hard men, create a heart great time hard times. Hard times create good men yeah, there you go good men create good times, good times create soft men soft hard times. That just goes throughout the ages it's the cycle I like, the thing I'm I don't like it, like if there's one adjective I don't want in life soft, soft june with the worst least, like sexy word.
Speaker 1No, there's moist. There is a way worse, didn't we decide?
Speaker 2on this pod. There's a waste is a word that there's a. There's a way worse word.
Speaker 1Didn't we decide on this pod that moist is a word that people like.
Speaker 2There's a way worse word to be attached to and people throw this around lightly, but it means a ton. Okay, If you say, oh yeah, I think that person's creepy and they're not, that's the worst reputation, because creepy is bad and people throw it around lightly Like, oh yeah, he's kind of creepy and maybe they had a like a weird interaction with him and they're actually normal if I'm if someone out there is talking about me and has mentioned me in that light, called me creepy, it really upsets me, yeah I actually feel bad because that's a terrible reputation.
Speaker 1I was trying to make a birthday gift for you so I reached out to liz and, like some of the questions and just like put this book together for you but one of the questions was if you had to describe zach in one word, and she chose creepy.
Speaker 2The people like liz will say that like, oh, he's kind of creepy. I'm like don't give you the book he has to be in prison for, like child must to be a creep. But don't just throw up creepy unless they're in prison, because that is a bad rep.
Speaker 1Hey, we're gonna give you the book, though, with some new fertilizer.
Speaker 2Do you guys carry wallets, and if so, like what do you put in that wallet?
Speaker 1So when you say wallet, you mean in the back pocket, folds out thing.
Speaker 2No, I'm leaving that up into your interpretation.
Speaker 1Yeah, I got rid of the open it up, fold it out big George Costanza wallet. How long ago, forever ago, oh, really, like longer than I can remember, when it even was, oh, wow. But then it gets really hard for a while, because then you got, like your insurance card, your Costco card, my 17 credit cards, your driver's license, yeah, then your health insurance, your dental insurance, like there's just all these little cards that I wish they would let me add to my Apple wallet, because then I could just carry my phone right and when the doctor said I need your insurance, I could just. So you still have a Shosher wallet. Well, this one's not very good because my old wallet ripped because I was putting too many things, so this one's a little thicker than normal, so don't laugh at it. It's just what a person gave it to me as a gift, so it's what I had. Is that part of your phone right there? But it has this cool thing is your phone?
Speaker 1on it just looks out your cards like that. So I have one, two, three, four, five cards there, plus a sixth card there, driver's license there, okay, hsa card there and the costco card there, and the health insurance card there okay, why do you need your health insurance card and your hsa card? Well, because when the doctor says I need your health insurance and then you have to pay your co-pay, then I need both of those how often are you going to the doctor where you're busting that card out?
Speaker 2that a that?
Speaker 1a simple note on your phone what it supplies five people in the family once a month, so everybody's getting sick twice a year. Let's just call it that. So once a month you're going to the doctor.
Speaker 2It's hard you become like kind of a hoarder with wallets yeah.
Speaker 2I had the same things in my wallet for years and it became like a superstition for me. I had my gun hunter safety from when we were kids till like last year, and it was so hard to pull out because I'm like I've been carrying this since I was like in third grade and then finally, alex is like you got to get rid of it. Now I have that little app on the apple on the back of the apple phones, on the iphones it's just that, and that's.
Speaker 1All you have is the little thing on the back. It's the greatest thing ever yeah, but then you can't have the no, you don't want that yes, I don't, because then when I watch tv on the airplane, I'm like that.
Speaker 2First, off two things in my wallet right license and and even that's going to be digital soon and one credit card which I will rotate the credit card depending on rewards, but I use apple pay.
Speaker 1You have all those cards you just showed me.
Speaker 2Rip that out again all those cards you just showed me. Rip that out again. All those cards you just showed me are on Apple Pay.
Speaker 1The sad part for me is three of those cards I just showed you are on my Apple Pay, so I have no idea why I have them with me right now. Old people are always coming up to me because they're like, hey, you're hip. Let me see that, though I wanted to hold it, you're young.
Speaker 2What do you do to appear so young?
Speaker 1And wallet, I pull out a wall.
Speaker 2Actually, you failed the first, I don't believe you because we've discussed on prior pods how look at this how you don't get along with old people, guys.
Speaker 1I can't even get his card out. How do you even get this out of?
Speaker 2here. No it is. It can be hard to get those out.
Speaker 1It's not hard he's just got greasy hands yeah, that could be it greasy. Let me see it, though.
Speaker 2I want to know what's in it but let me get back to a different segment, which I like to call zach's gifts. So I've hit on some really good gifts for zach we went from wallets to zach, but I've also missed on a couple of gifts for zach, so apple wallet being a big hit because it's changed his life right, that's the directory.
Speaker 1Yes, that was.
Birthday Gifts, Cash, and Investments
Speaker 2Oh man, that is a nice gift, yes um, but another one did I ever, did I ever thank you for that. Yeah, uh, no, you were like a little profuse, you weren't jacked about that one, but it ended up working out. But what did? It is like a while back I'm at Costco and I'm like crap, it's September 18th and that's like a really nervous day for me because I'm really into birthdays.
Speaker 1He's really into his birthday.
Speaker 2I want people to like oh really, yeah, it's a big deal for me. Is this true? No, for me, this is true. No, it's not true at all. I do not notice my birthday, but he seems to think he wants you to what? Do I get the guy who has everything?
Speaker 1so I'm at costco.
Speaker 2Like, hey, you know, what's really annoying for me is at costco one time a year they got their fertilizer on sale and you get that big bag and I'm like, hey, I it's always annoying if I miss that sale because then I'm spending more. So I'm like I'll just give him a bag of fertilizer. He's got a big freaking yard, so I get him a bag of fertilizer. You're laughing? So I just end up like just say, hey, here's some fertilizer for this year. He didn't even wrap it up. I think he used half the bag as well. I did. I ended up reclaiming the gift. Yeah, no, reclaiming the gift, yeah, no. He literally like I had it in my garage for three years because I use this. I have a whole process with my lawn. It's like a random bag from like turns out he's a lawn snob, not even like.
Speaker 2And then I just had it sitting there and finally he texted hey, do you still have that bag I gave you for your birthday? I'm like, yeah, come and get it. So yeah, he's a good he's still alex is still very upset with me. Years ago he bought me a basketball for my birthday and balls get lost. I lose the ball, but you do and he brings it up every. This is 20 years ago, so it must have been a really big deal to him that he got me a gift.
Speaker 1Well, I like cash. Hey, why are you so upset at him for losing the basketball?
Speaker 2He just likes to like. I have some little amount of faults he's got to find those little things and it's like, hey, you know the one time I gave you that birthday gift.
Speaker 1Oh for sure, Find his freaking treated like crap.
Speaker 2Back to what I said. What do you give the guy who has everything? How do you find faults in the faultless?
Speaker 1I have that struggle with jessica all the time of. She has everything and if she wants something she'll buy it. So when mother's day is coming up, for example, I don't have a freaking clue. And so so many of her birthdays, christmases, it's just here's a bunch of cash, and then I feel bad because I've only given her cash. So every year it's like maybe if I give her more cash she'll get excited so it's like you're digging yourself oh yeah huge hole so deep so deep, yeah.
Speaker 1And then for her 40th birthday, um, I took her out and it was actually the birthday of the pandemic. So I took her to Tampa to go to the beach at Clearwater, and so we were sitting on the beach when COVID struck. I remember, still remember the. The moment I knew it was a bad thing was I was sitting there on the beach trading stocks because the market was like way down and then all of a sudden the NBA canceled the rest of the season and I was like whoa, something bad's going on.
Speaker 1And here I was stranded out on a beach somewhere. But anyway, back to my real point, Because I took her on a trip for her 40th birthday, which is kind of a big deal. She kind of expects a trip every birthday. Now, Like her thing every time her birthday is coming up is, hey, where are you taking me on a trip this year? And I'm always like that was kind of just a once every decade trip.
Speaker 2But you give her cash Like that's a normal thing, like here's your Christmas cash.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2A lot of times. Yeah, yeah, the only therapy is going to help you get out of that hole.
Speaker 2So I had I had a buddy who was dating this girl in high school. We're going to leave him anonymous because it was a really toxic relationship. But jordan and our buddy sam at the time were buying cars at the auction when high school and then reselling them. Right, this is our business partner, jordan. So we knew I mean we knew back then he's been selling cars since then. It's in his blood. And so this buddy, who's not related to them, has his girlfriend's birthday coming up, goes to his mom and says hey, mom, I really want to invest with my buddy Jordan, my buddy Sam. Can you give me $300 to invest, invest? And she's like sure, yeah, just pay me back when, when you can, when you get your investment back. So she gives him three hundred dollars, he goes to the mall with his girlfriend hands with three hundred dollars and I do this to kelsey all the time because I tell her this story but he goes like there you go, go to the bureau of the ball spend away.
Speaker 1He just said he was.
Speaker 2He gave the girl the 300 that you're supposed to invest that you're supposed to invest. Who is this person? This kid is an idiot. You had to hang out with these people oh, this is everybody listening to this. Oh, my gosh, you're friends, dude, I know, but jeez, that is brutal. You can't come back from that. I don't care. You make mistakes in high school. No, absolutely not me. I would it never, it wasn't you. No.
Speaker 1I was kind of telling the story like it was you or something. No, no, no.
Speaker 2Me looking at $300 when I was in high school would be like. I would think it was like 10 grand. Yeah $300 is so much money.
Speaker 1When I was in high school, $300 would have been like $2 million. Can you imagine? Just?
Speaker 2Well, for me it would have been $3 million.
Speaker 1Yeah, for sure, Because you've actually told me. I feel like your allowance was even smaller than mine.
Speaker 2Yeah, and you had 10 years of-. Mom gave me more money than she gave Zach, though.
Speaker 1Yeah, but I always knew where her purse was. Hey, let me see if Alex lied. What did you get each week to buy your lunches with?
Speaker 2So we got $10 originally, and then inflation during Y2K was crazy. You know, inflation during Y2K was crazy, and so it got up to $15, but I got $20. My parents did a good job. They raised us to not need them in the future, so they kind of like made it kind of hard. But look at us now.
Speaker 1You know we have our old podcast you know, really, really I know, and we and listeners might not believe it. I told Jessica about our fan yesterday that pulled up by Sidus at Chick-fil-A and was like screaming oh my gosh, I'm listening to you guys right now and she's like you're so full of crap, this story is so fake. I'm like this story is 100% real. And she's like well then, it was one of your friends.
Speaker 2I'm like, yeah, it actually was, but still, but just in the future. If you recognize us from the pod, we're just normal people trying to live our lives out there so just you know, you can say something quietly, but I don't, you know, just don't embarrass me, I I am not a normal person.
Speaker 1A and I am not just trying to live my life b. You're about that recognition. Yes, you get out, you take a selfie, you post that on your gram and then tell everyone this is your last chance to be famous.
Speaker 2I mean essentially, essentially what I want is um.
Speaker 1If you saw me and David Goggins in line at the Chick-fil-A, I want you running up to me saying, can I get a selfie? And like Goggins is like what about me? And it's like, why would I get a picture with you?
Speaker 2This guy's got a podcast. I'm going to disappoint you. It ain't going to happen. Oh, it ain't. No, it could.
Speaker 1It ain't going to happen. Oh, it ain't. No, it could. It ain't going to happen.
Speaker 2You're a charismatic guy. You can get what you want.
Speaker 1You're right, it's not going to happen. Nor do I want it. I mean, if you went through my social media, you'd be like he's definitely not looking for recognition. He hasn't posted since 2010 or something.
Speaker 2Well, you had abs back then. Yeah, no, the only time Almost had abs was 2019. The pandemic, what was?
Speaker 1your Fauci. You bastard Fauci screwed your abs. No, no, I screwed my own abs. It was a really weird deal. So I had this goal to get it, because Jordan said I couldn't. And when people say I can't, I just, in fact, if you want that thing, just start telling me I can't and then I'll want it, but anyway.
Speaker 2So it got me super motivated I was working out sexual, I was eating. No, it's a dealership story, but okay um, so I got really.
Speaker 1So I had this date. I had to have abs by x date, right and uh, because it gave me 90 days to do it. It was a hard 90 days, though, because it was november, thanksgiving, christmas and then this like all kinds of treats and meals and parties, and you know what I mean Like it was just hard. So the reality of this story and this is like quite true is November, I didn't do much.
Speaker 1December, I didn't knew much, but from January to February, I freaking worked my butt off and I got super, super close, but I didn't get it, and so it was kind of sad because this is at the end, like I didn't hit it. And so it was kind of sad because just at the end, like I didn't hit it, I didn't hit the like. I can show you the picture. I'm still very proud of the picture, even though there's not a six pack, but yeah, um, it just like goal was over, so I just went back to eating and quit working out, it's not about the destination paul, it's I know I listen about the journey 2019.
Speaker 2His brain it just screwed up when, like because since I've known you you've been a bit of a specimen physically. When was your low physically? When were you like Audience? Don't buy into this.
Speaker 1When were you like my low?
Speaker 2I'll tell you my low. Okay, me and Liz first get married. I get this job where it's unlimited Snickers, unlimited Mountain Dew, and for some reason, the only thing I knew how to cook was macaroni and I would eat it by the box. Okay, and so every night I would eat a whole box of mac and cheese and eat Snickers all day and drink Mountain Dew. I was the happiest I've ever been. So, just so you know, if you want to be happy, do that, but if you want to sit there and work out.
Speaker 2It's going to be a little harder that. But if you want to sit there and work out, it's going to be it's a little harder. But yeah, it doesn't matter. Like my wife liked me the same when I was doing that or if I was in good shape. She doesn't say anything, no matter what she'd say hey, you're looking fat, you're looking fat. Then she never said anything.
Speaker 2Then and then I get in good shape, it doesn't say anything. But the minute I start to get soft, I was like, oh, you're looking a little soft in the midsection. I'm like, well, I can't just keep doing that.
Speaker 1So my wife is. I think part of my issue why I'm a little chubby Bubby is my wife's the opposite. When I 2019, I was really close. She was every day. I hate the way you look. You look gross, like a skinny skeleton or something like that.
Speaker 2She would say People want to knock you off and she would tell me We've already hold on one second.
Speaker 1We've made a real good point that our wives are the antagonists and we have to. We need that to motivate us. But I think if she was the opposite and was like, hey, you're getting a little chubby in the middle, it would help me to not get there. But she's like I tell her she's a chubby chaser because she actually likes it when I'm chubbier. It's weird, yeah, well but my love likes the dad bod.
Speaker 2She likes that dad bod my low came on another continent. Um, you know, if we can roll some of the some of the footage of where I was and kelsey was the same way, right, she never like, she never cared. They think they know they'll look back and be like, oh like, I tried to tell you I'm like you, didn't? No one like you're. You're happy and in love, you know. But mine was similar because you're working at a dealership and I was managing it, so the sales people always suck up to you so they could get like better deals for their customers or whatever, which I would grant, of course, every time. So I had a guy bring me a mountain dew and a ton of freaking double bubble, every day, every day, and he would bring the 44 ounce yes, a big dog, and he'd bring himself a 64 ounce.
Speaker 2Yes, I got thick and I'm I'm in thailand and I'm running around with some elephants in thailand and one of the males starts getting really jealous of my relationship with one of the females and I'm like this is it right? This is? No, I thought it was because you do a picture where they lift you up with their trunks. Yeah, and they can't lift alex the trunk.
Speaker 2It struggled to go up and alex like he felt really bad. Dad had to talk to him. What'd you weigh then? 142? I actually don't. I I was so clueless that I didn't really get on a scale, but I was probably like in the like the 190, 180 you would have never been in the 180 190.
Speaker 1Roll the pick. Yeah, will you put the pick up for? The audience to see.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Meditation, Discipline, and Mountain Dew
Speaker 1You will, I'll roll it. Okay, I think this discussion, though I've always found that you were saying you were happy eating the, the Snickers bars in the Mountain Dews right, but I find the opposite Like I hate. Like I love the taste of the snicker and the Mountain Dew, but I hate myself when, like I'm not, like what would be the word Self-control, yeah, when I'm lacking that self-control and that discipline. I'm 40 now.
Speaker 2Yeah, mid-20s, though you're different.
Speaker 1Mid-20s, dude, mid-20s, like you, eat whatever and feel fine. I might make that box box of macaroni not think it's enough and put some hot dogs in there yeah, but you guys are saying the physical fine right, like still today, if I ate it I feel fine.
Speaker 2Yeah, well, once you once you realize what it's doing to your bodies. But back then you we've gone years of like our sustenance in a helm home was mountain dew. Right, like we drank a lot of mountain dew, and it's, it was uh this is what we should do right now with this podcast.
Speaker 1mountain dew Dew should sponsor us, because I still drink Mountain Dew like crazy. My wife takes it. I drink Diet. She drinks so much Mountain Dew. Well, yeah, it's Diet, but either way, diet. Mountain Dew sponsor us. Yeah, I don't need much out of this podcast. I hope so. But some free Mountain Dew would be incredible, although I so.
Speaker 2Their cans are different. Like you go over to, like you've been to Mexico, they have, like these, extra ribbed cans.
Speaker 1But even Hawaii has different cans.
Speaker 2Yeah, hawaii does too, because they all process different plants and maybe that affects the way I think it's going to taste, but there's not a lot of Diet Mountain Dew in other countries.
Speaker 1Yeah, I do think tastes better in a different country.
Speaker 2Yeah, Well, mainly because I don't like Diet Coke, because they don't use aspartame, because I got to get my. My doctor says I need at least two milligrams of aspartame an hour.
Speaker 1As you guys know, Diet Mountain Dew, you should sponsor us.
Speaker 2We're so crazy when we go out of country, we literally pack it in a suitcase and bring it with us because heaven forbid if we get there and there is. Paul's wife is, yeah, really into diet mountain dew and we. She thinks there's no diet mountain dew on this whole island in hawaii we should also she carried through all day long we had layovers. She's carrying a bag of diet mountain dew the first thing that's for sale. When we get to hawaii, in the hotel we're staying is diet they had.
Speaker 1They had a lot of it. Marriott came through. Marriott, you should sponsor us too.
Speaker 2Dude, I like these shout outs to all these sponsors Raytheon, lockheed Martin, lockheed Martin, because that's I mean, the industrial war complex. Yeah, that's where the money is.
Speaker 1And those guys have extra money to spend For sure. I'm not going there, don't worry. Yeah, yeah, don't worry. What I was really trying to say to you guys, though, is like happiness when I'm being disciplined, that's when I feel the happiest.
Speaker 1Yeah, I agree with that right, like if I like, not not in the moment, not in the moment not never in the one, like if I wake up work out, hate it, I freaking hate it, but the rest of that day I feel like, oh, I'm so glad that I overcame the bitch inside of me that wanted to give up and not do it. I wasn't sure which word would be worse there, Mac that was Paul, by the way.
Speaker 2That wasn't me saying that.
Speaker 1Yeah, this is a kid-friendly pod, I know, that's why I didn't say the other word. What were you going to say, the N-word?
Speaker 2Yeah. No, edward yeah it's race friendly as well, so you can't use that word anymore. Yeah, outside the pod. I know, I don't know what's happening?
Speaker 1that wouldn't even make sense.
Speaker 2I wake up my workout and then no we can start it with a p okay, I didn't know that I should say it or not.
Speaker 1Okay, all right will you cut all that that? You know you're gonna going to get us canceled just because of that.
Speaker 2No, do you know what I've been doing lately? Trying to do is I watched this interview with Jerry Seinfeld and he talks about meditation. Yeah, he's like. The three things that, like, have changed my life is transcendental meditation.
Speaker 1Medication or meditation, which one for him?
Speaker 2Both probably Okay and exercise, and then coffee, coffee.
Speaker 1Mm-hmm. Anyway, the meditation have you ever meditated like consistently? I mean, I'm like a weekend Dude. I back in you guys will love this 2018, I was doing it like every night, like every night.
Speaker 2Your peak was 2018. You had a six pack.
Speaker 1You're meditating but you have to remember what was going on in my life in 2018. That's when we I'd quit my job and we bought our first dealership right, I was stressed out of my mind, so I was meditating at night just to keep my emotional human kind together. I was just trying to keep it together, jerry and so I was meditating like a crazy amount back then and, uh, it's, it's awesome, like it is freaking awesome when you're meditating?
Speaker 2are you um trying to focus on anything? Are you just letting your mind take you?
Speaker 1so it was really weird when I first started doing it, just like whatever right happened. But what started happening is, for whatever reason, my mind would just trail off into memory land of like way, way, way back into the day memory land and so I would just yeah, so I would just let it wander, because it was kind of fun just to relive these moments and normally I can't remember anything. But you know, doing the breathe in now, breathe out, and you got that little narrator guy that oh yeah, he's talking.
Speaker 1Yeah, because I was using the I can't remember the name of the app now, but anyway he's got this nice British voice, so he's like take a deep breath in Now, exhale slowly. I wish you always Now take one. I wish I did too, because I feel like the British have such a great line.
Speaker 2You already speeded it up. You already speeded it up, I know, but listen to me it up. You already speeded up, I know that car boy, bye, bye, lassie.
Speaker 1But anyway, dude, meditation's solid, I'm telling you it is.
Speaker 2So I'll say along and keep it up. Right now I just kind of close my eyes and try to let my mind go wherever and end up it's like almost I'm seeing like a movie of random stuff, yeah, but but yours is just random stuff.
Speaker 1Mine was memories, like it was, like I'm seeing some.
Speaker 2I'm like kind of letting it go run its course, depending on, like you know, if I'd just woken up, like my mind runs differently throughout the day.
Speaker 1It depends on when I've done it.
Speaker 2Yeah, I always did it right supposedly it helps, like with energy.
Speaker 1It's like it's supposed to be awesome, so we'll see I always did it right before bed and that was the other thing. I would sleep so good, like, yeah, I don't know what the deal was, but I would sleep really good. I should get back to that. I don't know where I fell are you in like?
Speaker 2what pose are you in when you're meditating? So it's like a yoga scene.
Speaker 1Yeah, indian style. I would just say, yeah, I sit like this, you just do it in a chair, uh-huh, yeah, I mean, I don't know if there's I do it like I've done it while I'm talking to alex.
Speaker 2Alex is in there talking to me and I just zone out and I'm like I'm pure. I'm in pure zen mode right now. I'm like above the clouds so elron's brother's name is elros and he has 10 grandsons. Yeah, once he starts talking, lord of the rings, I thought you're out it takes me to my happy place.
Speaker 1I just went out. Did you watch the lord of the rings series on amazon? Yeah, when's the next season coming out? Uh, I don't know.
Speaker 2Hashtag who cares?
Speaker 1No, I'm frustrated because it was actually really good.
Speaker 2It was fine. Like it was fine, it started off really bad.
Speaker 1Hey, can I tell the listeners, by the way, Can I tell them about how the Hobbit series is better than Lord of the Rings series?
Speaker 2Oh, we can't. I don't know, I can't, I don't. Even that sentence is I want it to be, just because you don't like Lord of the Rings period or you disagree with the? No, I love Lord of the Rings, but you don't, you also don't think the Hobbit's stupid. No, it was awesome oh, you like the three Hobbit generated graphics instead of like shooting on location.
Speaker 1It's all fine, just bad guys.
Speaker 2The story no, the story, the freaking story an artist and a cinematographer on purpose.
Speaker 1I was just for the story and the action and the intensity of it. It was awesome, I'm telling you, it was freaking awesome. Now the other ones are awesome too. I just think that the Hobbit truth like what is it there's?
Speaker 2three of them, whatever. Yeah, I would say you're like in the 2% of people that think that see.
Speaker 1I. Maybe this hot, this hot take will make us famous, then you should put it out there. People will start commenting like crazy.
Speaker 2This guy's an idiot. When the hobbit was relevant yeah, 15 years, and I think. I think it all speaks for themselves.
Speaker 1Like people don't watch the hobbit right now jr tolkien's so happy because he also felt like that was his best work yeah, yeah, he definitely did.
Speaker 2No, the new harry potter series. I'm hoping that's what they do.
Speaker 1That would be sick, that would be really cool.
Speaker 2HBO is doing the new Harry Potter, which will be good. We all want to see some serious action between Ron and Hermione. Who's doing it? It's going to be like Euphoria, but for Harry.
Speaker 1Potter.
Speaker 2Dumbledore is going to be suspending a lot harry potter.
Speaker 1Harry potter was good um, did you speaking of?
Speaker 2british voices.
Speaker 1So did you listen to harry potter the books so the first three or four I did all right, and I also did not watch the last three probably movies, because wasn't there like eight of them yeah, they did do it.
Speaker 2So I think I, I think, I watched the first five.
Speaker 1We gotta probably listen to the first four books, but how do we even talk?
Speaker 2to you.
Speaker 1I know it's hard I know, but he, harry, was such a I don't what?
Speaker 2he's a freaking teenager. No, no, no, no, he's an overrated wizard, zach efron in in teenage musical.
Speaker 1That's a teenager. I never saw that movie you didn't see high school musical. You're so full of crap.
Speaker 2You probably watch it every night. Hey, let's finish the podcast, just like this, liz. Liz, make sure you watch High School Musical tonight, let's get to this day in history, today in history. So today in history, in 1933, guess who was seen?
Speaker 1This day in history, 1933.
Speaker 2Who was seen? Yeah, just bigfoot, you're close, sweet aliens close um.
Mystery of Loch Ness Monster
Speaker 1oh man was the loch ness monster correct. Oh, loch ness monster dude.
Speaker 2This couple was walking around that lake loch ness, it's, it's Inverness, actually, what's.
Speaker 1Inverness. That's the real name. Inverness is the name of the lake, the name of the lake and the name of the town around that. But the animal is the Loch Ness right.
Speaker 2Yeah, and they see this thing bobbing up and down the water and it becomes this big news article in London and London's like. We got to send people up there to like look for it, and they end up giving. Like I think they offered 20 000 ish pounds sterling, which is a lot of freaking money still, they do put it in perspective 20 000 that's like a right now.
Speaker 220 000 pounds sterling is like a buck. 25 I mean sorry. 120 1.25 cents is equivalent to one sterling, so 20,000 pounds in 1933, that's a lot of money.
Speaker 1It's like 30,000.
Speaker 2Also to put it in perspective, you remember the movie Jaws right.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2Do you remember Sam Quint, who that character was, the shark hunter?
Speaker 1Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2They offer him $10,000 to kill the shark that's eating people. 10,000, that's in 1980. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they offer him $10,000 to kill the shark that's eating people $10,000, that's in 1980.
Speaker 1Yeah, so man to catch.
Speaker 2I mean, if you had the chance, I would definitely go after Nessie.
Speaker 1Was the 20,000 sterling pound like that was to kill it and catch it or just get a photo of it, or what?
Speaker 2I don't know, back then there wasn't like an Arambe crowd that was cheering on animals. Yeah, they were just like, hey, dead or alive, I want this thing. And, who knows, it's a bunch of Scottish people. Would London actually give these people the money, who knows? Yeah, yeah, we've actually. I've been to both places. I've been to Inverness, we've been on the lake and I, literally, when I was on the lake, I'm like I'm here probably once ever. I'm gonna. All I'm gonna do is look for the monster. I just looked the whole time we're on this little boat ride. I'm just scouring, just looking.
Speaker 1So 1933's first time at some. When was the last time? It was seen? Well, like a lot of weird sightings.
Speaker 2There was like a photo that there was a photo that came out like in the, I think, late 30s and eventually I think they determined it was doctor. So one of the interesting things about loch ness is how deep it is, because it's an extremely deep, it's obviously like it's not like you could go to this little pond.
Speaker 2It's huge. It's huge and, yeah, extremely deep. So they've done I think since then they've done a lot of like, even radar tests, and had they've had some goofy results with radar tests, like we can establish there's some sort of prehistoric creature living in the lake right now. It's intelligence level to dodge radar and things like that. Like you know that that throws a lot of questions at a bye-bye, but we know it exists. Yeah, I didn't know, I don't know for sure it exists because I didn't see it, but I've, I would, I've been there and I've been to um, where jaws apparently was, where they filmed the movie, yeah, and they just did not, they were not offering those guys the local you guys.
Speaker 1This is august of 23. From the new york post there was a sighting yeah, there, it is so out there they're still seeing it, apparently still a thing bonnie, bonnie, banks of luck nest dude. There's the picture from 23.
Speaker 2There's like, it's like nothing really no, that's how all the pictures are.
Speaker 1They're kind of like I was like it's just a family of dolphins or something I mean say I have a gun to your head, right?
Speaker 2I'm like do you believe? I want your real, real, real answer. Do you think it exists?
Speaker 1well, what's when you say the it is there an animal? Is there an animal? No one knows, it's not an unidentified species that's living in loch ness I mean I would have to say no because I haven't looked into it incorrect. You will be shot. Yeah, I don't believe.
Speaker 2It actually is incorrect because this couple, who knows the 30s, was there like lsd, maybe kicking in like they're still seeing it as of like six months ago you'd treat your to go like you'd treat like common ailments with very hard drugs, or you want to shake the chemicals.
Speaker 1No, I'm just hoping that they also sponsor us.
Speaker 2I'm just giving them a little um. I've been holding my if they'll sponsor us.
Speaker 1I'm just letting them know what kind of action they'll get. I have a question about that. I would want to ask I'm kind of really curious about um, do you have a library card? No for you, no, okay you. So this is an interesting, weird thing. So, um, what's his name? The really rich guy that got the? He's from Ireland, you should know, because you got that Irish blood. Who am I thinking of?
Speaker 2I think you're thinking of Scottish guys. No, carnegie, carnegie, scottish, scottish oh, is he Scottish anyway.
Library Card and Cheating Stories
Speaker 1Scottish guy, super, triple billionaire. His goal was to make a fortune in the first half of his life and then spend the last half of his life giving it away. Right, so the way he chose to give it away was to create libraries across america. And guess how much it costs to get a library card? I don't know.
Speaker 1A dollar, they're free and yet and yet, and yet we all know that, and yet nobody has one. And the reason I'm on this? Because I use the libby app. Hey, libby, you should sponsor us too. I'll talk all about you all the time. So you get this libby app and you can listen to audiobooks for free, because you just check them out from the library. So the more library cards you can get, the more access to more books you have. So I'm always asking friends, like, for their library card to add it into my libby app, but nobody ever has one, yeah, and so it's been weirding me out. It's free. People around the world have written down how to be successful, or even if you're into fiction, like, for free you could get this stuff.
Speaker 2Nothing's free. So, by the way, libby's probably heavily subsidized, like all libraries now are heavily subsidized because Carnegie's don't go around building them anymore, I bet it's not.
Speaker 1I bet he set up like a trust and it's probably like funding it.
Speaker 2The internet, really the access to information, has changed everything. But I understand what you're saying, libby. They should download, libby.
Speaker 1Why does nobody have a library card? That's what I'm actually saying. I want your library card for my Libby app so I can listen to more books, but nobody ever has a card.
Speaker 2Okay, so I'll get you a card. Can you go get me a? My mother-in-law is big into Libby. Where do you live? Where do you live?
Speaker 1Yeah, my. What library? Could you get me access to? What's your biggest, closest library?
Speaker 2Davis County is a big library.
Speaker 1Can you get me that?
Speaker 2We have books dated as old as 1938. Which?
Speaker 1one of you is getting me the card I don't get myself a card. I got to get you a card, I don't know. All you listeners put your credit or not, your credit card, your library card number in the comments.
Speaker 2Where libraries screwed america is when they started bringing in that propaganda known as the dewey decimal system.
Speaker 1Because what a stupid, stupid way to track what even is how they organized it.
Speaker 2So you have like a book would be point oh that thing, yeah, that's stupid. I'm gonna be like they put a number before, because that would give you the category, and so it's like yep, stupid.
Speaker 1Alex knows my stance why is it called dewey decimal? Because dewey, some guy named dewey, created some some freaking leech off.
Speaker 2The government named dewey set it up sub library.
Speaker 1It's somewhere but why does nobody have a library card? What is the deal?
Speaker 2no, no, you didn't convince me either, because look at your wallet. That's why no one has a library card, moving on, but you so, hey, give me a davis county library. We were talking about books, moving on.
Speaker 1But you.
Speaker 2Hey, get me a Davis County library card. We were talking about books when me and Alex were kids, alex read a ton of books. He's a smart one. I like books, but they have to be like the book, the top book, and I'll get into it. But for school we used to have to read a book and then take a test and if you got like 70% on the test, it would consider you like hey, you read the book. It like 70% on the test, it would consider you like hey, you read the book.
Speaker 2It's called Accelerator Reader, accelerator Reader. And so there's this book going around. Alex will probably give you more information on this. What was the name of the book? Dragon Song? Dragon Song, I had actually read the book. So this rumor starts going hey, if you answer the shortest answer and it's a multiple choice if you answer the shortest answer you'll get 70 on this dragon song and you'll pass off a book. And so that starts to go like it spreads like wildfire. They're out of the junior high. Of course I'm like that's great info.
Speaker 2I'm, I'm gonna get that, so I do it apparently everybody does it and all of a sudden the teachers catch on and so they pretty much say hey, if you really read the book we're just going to give you. Uh, you just write a like a synopsis on the book and we'll give you that text.
Speaker 1Just a couple sentences explaining a basic plot of the book.
Speaker 2I think I just literally wrote like I cheated, like I went with the flow. I cheated Alex actually read Dragon Song.
Speaker 1How stupid is that I didn't need the accelerated reader point, so I didn't even Dumb. It's about this, so you have this dragon song just here a dragon writes a sweet song puff, the magic has nothing to do with that.
Speaker 2But there's like this environmental issue called thread that comes down and hits like the dragons and kills off all these dragons. So they're trying to figure out what's causing the threat literally like two-thirds of the school gets used. Because this I remember going on a saturday to like garden at my junior high because you, because you have break, cheated everybody to make up to you yeah but so I went with the flow. I was my dude, my big learning. You got to hear this story.
Speaker 1You'll love this story then. So, same thing as me. We read this book. You're supposed to pick a book, read a book, and then we had to write this book report. So I'm writing my book report. One of the questions on the book report at the very end was did you like this book? Why or why not? And so I wrote hey, I really didn't like it because I'm more into um mysteries and something like that.
Speaker 1Right like a nancy drew yeah, nancy drew or the hardy boys or something. And I get my paper back and it says b plus. And then right below that my teacher has written, like always in red ink, right. She writes this is a mystery book. Next time time read the book.
Speaker 2Oh my gosh, but she gave me a B+. She didn't give me a U, but you did actually read it. No, oh, you didn't.
Speaker 1No, I didn't read a thing. I just wrote the. I didn't read.
Speaker 2We're going to learn something new.
Speaker 1Let me tell you something about me in high school, and so I can't even understand what goes on in high school. Anything like I did if I got a homework I would just do as sloppy as I could without reading anything. I I cheated off my friends. If there was something else like I, I didn't do anything in high school.
Speaker 2So I actually got a? U once for cheating which might blow your minds to hear. This actually happened to me. So what happened? We were in english class. Mrs stock kyle was in the class what's her name?
Speaker 1so we miss the stock? Yes, we do not. Like she might be just a miss, I don't care. No I.
Speaker 2I actually look back because she was the first teacher to kind of really be into the beatles and she would put a lot of beatles into our curriculum, which I really appreciate it, because now I'm a big fan of the beatles and she did a good job with that. But I'm studying for this, I'm cramming for this, this test, right before we're about to take it and I have a study sheet and she's like okay, everyone, we're going to take the test. Now I throw my books on the floor. Okay, the study sheet. A corner of the study sheet pops open. I don't notice that, right, I take the test. She's going around, you know, in her little like the thing, whatever she's doing, right, walking around, and she sees the study sheet and grabs my paper and rips it up in front of me and like so, I'm like drama queen.
Speaker 2She ripped it up and rips it up in front of the class. How old are you? I was in like eighth grade, oh yeah and so I go to class after or I go talk to her after. I'm like I wasn't cheating, she's like, and she's like I saw it. I'm like let me take the test right now. I'll take it in front of you. I can prove to you that I cheating. She's like. That wouldn't be fair to the other students. She was a Beatles fan. That makes me not like the Beatles anymore.
Speaker 1I know it also makes me sad that you like the Beatles only because you were manipulated. Yeah, I grew up by this manipulative little. So to make up for this.
Speaker 2I got an F on that test. I still ended up with a B in the class even with that F.
Speaker 2Right. I got or a zero on that test and I had to write to make up my you. I had to write a paper on the Scout oath, so I'm writing a paper on honesty and about integrity and honor, while I'm lying to myself and to the world around me because I didn't cheat right. So rather than go down with the ship, I chose the coward's way out. Peter Keating, right there. Yep, 100%, 100%. That's something he would have done, but you've changed.
Speaker 1No, I don't know. The first time he had me read that book I came to him what book I had the Fountainhead, there you go. So I hadn't read very much of it. And so it's in the beginning when Peter Keating's kind of like the guy yeah Right, Because he's like he wins the class thing and he's like top of I come to work and I tell Alex dude, you're Peter Keating. I didn't realize how insulting that was, because I hadn't gotten all the way through the book of what Peter Keating actually is.
Speaker 2It's one of my favorite memories that I called him Peter Keating and you just did too, so maybe he really is Peter Keating. There's a chance, no man, what other?
Speaker 1I mean, I had a couple of times where I got cheated.
Speaker 2I got caught cheating one time in Spanish class. You can't say I had a couple of times that I cheated, no, you can't get away with that. But I had one time I got it taken. I was cheating off somebody else's paper and a guy catches me. It was like the guy walking around at lunch. I don't know why he was walking around at lunch. Holzer, holzer, oh my gosh, this guy's a character. He puts it in his back pocket so literally he's got his shirt tucked in. My cheating thing is his back. I know he's going to my teacher next, so I tell my buddy Seth. I'm like, hey, do your thing, get me that paperback.
Speaker 2So Seth sneaks behind him in front of everyone at lunch turns around, grabs his hand, and then that made him, um, really rushed to give it to my spanish teacher and, um, I don't remember what happened, but why did?
Speaker 1he want to. He just wanted an arc. He just wanted to be the yeah police.
Speaker 2He's like he's just gotta be the police yeah, I don't know what else he was doing besides that like walking around making sure people don't eat two slices of pizza or cut in line. I cut in line. He was like the guy that got mad. What a great job. He loved that back pocket, though, because my buddies actually were looking at a dirty magazine at lunch, right, and I say my buddies because I really wasn't there for this one, right. It sounds like you're like oh, you're just covering for yourself. They're looking at a dirty magazine at lunch.
Speaker 1Holder comes, grabs it puts out of his back pocket.
Speaker 2They successfully pulled it out of his back pocket.
Speaker 1Who's this person that keeps taking it?
Speaker 2holzer was like uh, he was like a ground duty. He was in charge of, I don't know, policing.
Speaker 1He was a school counselor do you know what he's doing now? Because I do. He's probably he's a high school soccer referee, yeah, so last night.
Speaker 2He was old then, I think last night.
Speaker 1I go to this game last night, soccer for Pleasant Grove and Lehigh and Pleasant Grove's winning like six to nothing. Like they're destroying them and they have a mercy rule. If they score eight it's game over. Because it's a mercy rule and Pleasant Grove eventually does score eight and the game's ended. But before the game ends, the referee stops the game and kicks the entire. There's like probably 50 people from Lehigh. They're in the stands to cheer for their kids. He kicks the entire stands out of the game. Good for him. Every single person, as if every single person there was like saying something or being like I don't know what in the world.
Speaker 2I mean, when it comes to Lehigh, you got to really treat that cancer and just tear it all out, but he kicks the entire team, these refs, they get a little bit of power and they can.
Speaker 1Yeah, he's this guy who runs around trying to tattle on people for cheating.
Speaker 2Have you ever refed?
Speaker 1anything? Yeah, I did once. It's not an easy job, dude. It was wild. It was an alumni tournament at our high school, and so these I'm just a little 17 year old kid, and so our team was putting on the alumni tournament, but all these alumni were coming back who are now 25, 28, 29 year olds or whatever, and these two big dudes is like you know, cause they're the centers and the power force. They're just fricking about to fight, and so I'm calling a foul, like every time down the court, cause they're literally it's like a wrestling match, not a basketball game, and I thought they were going to beat me up at one point because I'm just this scrawny little 17-year-old and they were getting dang frustrated.
Understanding Offsides Rule in Soccer
Speaker 2It was a bad deal. I subbed in to ref soccer one time and I don't know the rules of soccer. And so I get there and my buddy's like, hey, go and they pay you $10 per game. I was like sweet that's good money. I'm probably like 12 at this time, but I'm roughing kids. I think they're even older than me. It was wild. So all of a sudden, the parents are losing their minds at me, like the whole game. They're freaking out, yelling for us offsides, call yeah, I wanted an offside and I think I'd literally turn around one point.
Speaker 1I was like, hey, dude, I actually don't even know the rules and the parents were like oh, no one, you know, I think I so last night at that game. I don't know the rules and I kept thinking why don't they just kick it? That kid's wide open? At the end and you don't. Somebody next to me is like that's what I can't.
Speaker 2I'm like no, it's offsides is super complex what is, yeah, what is that? If I explain to you, we're gonna need a chalkboard, but it but it's super complex and I didn't learn it until it's really not that hard. But I didn't learn it until playing FIFA for like years that I'm finally like okay, that's how you get it Because you've got to play the video game too. Yeah it's kind of a tough rule, but it does keep everybody in check. They should do that in basketball too.
Speaker 1No, they shouldn't. They should undo it in soccer. So it's higher scoring, do you like?
Speaker 2cherry pickers. When you grew up, did you like a kid that just didn't do anything and you kind of hung out by the goal. No, got a heavier kid Because that's who it benefits is a cherry picker, but that's what soccer is.
Speaker 1It's not like soccer. From what I witnessed last night and other times, don't you have people that are actually supposed to stay on that end of the court and then others that are defenders that stay back on this?
Speaker 2side of the court. They can't. Yeah, I mean, that's not a court To get to and to. We'll explain it off the yeah.
Speaker 1But I'm just saying in basketball everybody comes to this end and then everybody goes to that end.
Speaker 2Yeah, In soccer. It feels like more like you stay down here and then you're going to have to explain it to me.
Speaker 1I don't think the pod wants to hear about it. Could be wrong, but maybe they do.
Speaker 2They probably want to know. Let me start explaining it. When a man loves a woman, when a man yeah,