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122. [Bonus Episode] 'Again, Only More Like You': Author Catalina Margulis on Motherhood, Friendship, and Finding Your True Self

• Jessica Cuevas • Episode 122

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In this special bonus episode, I talk with author Catalina Margulis about her debut novel "Again, Only More Like You" which releases TODAY, April 29th, 2025! Catalina shares her journey from journalism and magazine editing to becoming an entrepreneur, book coach, and author while raising four children.

For detailed show notes, visit vivalamami.com/episode122

In this episode, we discuss:

  • How Catalina's experiences as a working mom inspired her novel's exploration of friendship between women on different sides of the motherhood spectrum
  • The challenge of living authentically while balancing family responsibilities
  • Finding creative fulfillment through "time sprints" and dedicated self-care that isn't just bubble baths
  • Overcoming mom guilt when pursuing personal passions and career goals
  • Embracing imperfection and focusing on your strengths as a parent

Connect with Catalina Margulis

Feeling overwhelmed by navigating cultural expectations and modern parenting as a Latina mom? Join Balanced Madrehood, Viva la Mami's signature coaching program designed to empower Latina moms to create a more balanced and fulfilling madrehood journey.  Head over to vivalamami.com/balanced-madrehood to learn more!

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Have you ever looked at your friend's life and thought, I wish my life was more like yours? Well, in today's bonus episode, I sit down with author catalina Marles to discuss her debut novel again, only more like You, which is available now in bookstores everywhere. This powerful story explores friendship. Motherhood and the grass that always seems greener on the other side. Catina shares her journey from magazine editor to mompreneur to author and how she manages the balance of pursuing creative passions while raising four children. Whether you're feeling lost in Madre hood, struggling with career transitions, or simply trying to reconnect with your authentic self, this conversation is filled with. So much wisdom about creating a life that honors both who you are and who you want to become. So without further ado, here is my interview in this bonus episode with Catalina Marli, author of, again, only More Like You, which is now in bookstores everywhere.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Ola

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

are you?

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

how are you?

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

I'm great. Thank you for having me here today.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Yes. I'm so excited for you to be here. I am very honored to be one of the people that received your advanced copy of

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yay.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

which I am so excited to talk about

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

you.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

share or listeners just a little bit more about your novel and your inspiration for writing in. And we're definitely gonna talk about mommy life as we talk, as we speak. But before we get into the conversation, uh, if you can introduce yourself and share a little bit more about who you are to

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Absolutely, I'd love to. So my name is Catalina Margolis. I am an author. My book again, only More Like You, comes out, uh, soon. April 29th, 2025. Uh, I'm a speaker, I'm a book coach. I am a former journalist, a magazine editor, and I'm a mom of four. Uh, I'm based in Toronto. My family came here from Argentina when I was a year old. So I grew up in Toronto, Canada. And, um. My dad still winters there and we've been back a bunch. Love it. Really ought to move. There really ought to move there.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

please do. I, I've been to Argentina. This was during, I used to work in higher ed

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Oh.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

I, I went for this like trip, 10 day trip to Uruguay and

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Oh see?

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

free. I was just a chaperone with like college

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Oh in.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

and Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, oh my gosh, I love it here. But the students were having more fun,

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yes.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

know, because as a chaperone you have to like.

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yes, you have to behave.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

like, yes, you have to behave yourself. I was like, oh, I'm so jealous.

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

I haven't been back. So my aunt, she lives in, uh, right now, so when we go, we can go to the beach and have that experience, but I haven't been back. We went when my son was. I think three months old. We went and he's 16 now, and it just seems so daunting to take all the kids and they just really want to go to a beach. They don't want to go to the city. But Zach has been really getting into his Latino heritage and teaching himself Spanish off of Spanish rap. So

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

That's awesome.

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

so I think, um, last year or the year before, he really wanted to go. So he went down with my sister and my mom was already there for the winter. And, uh, now I'm starting to get it from my other kids that they really wanna see it and explore. So I think we might be warming up. Maybe we'll go next, next winter. We'll see.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

yes,

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yeah.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

takes one, you know, to then push everyone else

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yes. Yeah, they're all kind of getting into it. But, um, but yeah, so I grew up in, in Toronto, Canada, and, uh, worked, uh, as a journalist and magazine editor and worked at fashion magazines and parenting magazines and, uh, as eventually as a lot of us mommies. Uh, experience. It got really hard to work for a corporation, an organization, um, and, and be a mom at the same time. And so then it launched me, it forced me into entrepreneurship. Uh, and my parents are all entrepreneurs, so, you know, it was something I'd grown up around and, um, being able to control my time and my time investment. So I became, uh, an entrepreneur. I had my own content agency for many years. And, uh, got into personal development, loved it. And between all of those things adding up together, I became a book coach. And that's, that's what I do now.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Wow. That's

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Thank you.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

That is great. And. At the time of this recording, your book hasn't launched, but it will, once we publish this episode, it will be launched and it'll be out in the public. And that is very exciting because first of all, we need more Latina authors. I cannot stress this enough. More representation. And you being a Latina from Canada, I think that is even more amazing

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Hmm

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

you're branching out. And I know there is a huge population of Latinos in, in

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

I know of, and I, I love it. And so. Like I said, I've been honored to, to read your

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yeah. Thank you.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

I, I loved it. I think it's very relevant to my current season of life.

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yeah.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

It's no longer teenage romance novels, you know,

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yes.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

fantasy, if you will, but it's more so it's reality.

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yeah.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

life. It's, it's basically where we are

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

especially for those who are transitioning from their thirties to their

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Um. And so your novel explores a lot about this intersection of

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

career, life, or transitions, uh, friendships specifically. And so can you share how your personal experience influenced the two main characters, Gotman and Allie in your book? Can you tell us a little bit more

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yeah, I love to, um, you know, it, it happened when everything was coming to a head for me. You know, I, I, I live out in the suburbs. I have a family and it was like I was living two lives. Then I go to the city and I don't talk about my family. I don't talk about my kids'cause that's bad for business and just trying to. Have these two completely different lives happening at the same time, and it, it just collided. And I remember looking on Netflix and looking at bookshelves and like, where, where am I? Like, who do I turn to? Who's been here before? Who can help me through this moment? What does it, what does an. Alternative life look like. And, um, there's this Tony Morrison quote, which is that, you know, if there's a book that you wanna read that hasn't been written, you get to write it. And so I said about doing just that and, you know, asking myself like, how do I get myself through is, what does the other side look like? What's the best thing that could happen? And, uh, and I, it was a chance for me to vent and work it all out on the page and give voice to my experience, which I knew. My friends were going through at the same time, just the impossibility of being a working mom and uh, dealing with all that. And then I also had a lot of my single friends that were wondering, you know, is that gonna happen for me? Like, they're looking at our lives, thinking our lives are amazing. And they're like, I want that. I wanna have the house in the suburbs. I wanna have a husband. I wanna have the kid and I'm running out of time. Is it gonna happen? Do I have to go on my own? And um, so both of us questioning where we were in our life and. What were we gonna do about it? Where were we gonna go from here? And so that really inspired me to have those two characters. And also it was also an exercise to, to play with, you know, am I happy with the way things have turned out? And if there's still time, what would I do differently? Uh, and yeah, it was, it was really, really fun to write and be able to write from two completely different. Female experience and perspectives, and then how they, how they, how they navigate their friendship when they're on completely different sides of the motherhood spectrum and.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

and we'll definitely talk about that because I literally saw myself in me and my best friend who she's married, uh, you know, she's definitely in a committed relationship and everything, but, uh, she isn't a mom yet. And so it's, it's definitely, always like, oh, you know, there's a little bit of jealousy, I would

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yes.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

I wish I could be like her. I wish my life was a little different and. I guess the grass isn't always

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yeah.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

you may think, but in other aspects, you know, it is.

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yes.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

just very complicated and, how, especially when it comes to friendships, right? How these individuals, like, they, they known each other for a very long time and you know, they were. Individuals before

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

went into other aspects of their lives, right. When they either moved forward or they probably felt like they were stuck in a way and not progressing, but it's still like I. I think there's a beauty when your friendship still evolves, even if, um, you're in a different season of

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

so we'll definitely talk a little bit more

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

But in your novel, you speak about like authenticity reinvention. for mommies listening, uh, who feel a little disconnected with their true selves, at least right now, who they feel probably lost. What are the first steps that you recommend toward living more authentically and more true to yourself?

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yeah, it's a great question. Uh, I think those early years of motherhood are just so all consuming. It's so easy for a lot of us to get lost or. Where do we even begin to recover who we are and is that even possible with the time available to us when we have all these commitments and responsibilities and the kids want all of us? And, and, and that begets mom guilt, which is that, you know, they want all of us and motherhood requires all of us. But, um, in order to sustain ourselves, I believe that we do need to protect some corner of our life. Uh. Because we were people before this. A lot of us are having children later in life. We've done amazing things. We've gone to college and we've built out careers and, uh, it you, you, you've done so much and then. It, it doesn't just disappear when you become a mom, and it doesn't mean that you don't have those same desires that you wanna travel or all the ways that you wanna self-actualize. Those things don't disappear. And I think that's where, uh, you know, depression can come in or frustration and that doesn't serve anybody. And so, as much as there's mom guilt, for me personally, anytime I do something for myself, I also. Have some tools right now and, uh, some conversations I can counter with in my head that I'm like, I know this makes me a better mom. Like it, it fills my cup, you know, it's important for me to fill my cup, put my oxygen mask on first, and then I can be a more joyful mother because otherwise I will be a resentful, angry, bitter, impatient, frustrated mother.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Yes,

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Oh.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Oh my gosh. I love this. And this is what I often talk about here in this platform is like, how can we break away from that mindset? But, and I know it's really

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yes.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

my audiences are Latinas and we grow up a lot on like Maria Nismo and like how you support. Yourselves to everyone else except yourself, right? Like as an individual and catering towards everyone else, making sure that everyone is

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

mm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

all clean, that they look presentable. And at the end of the day, it's like, we're ula, you know, or we just don't prioritize on ourselves. And, so yeah, I'm, I'm glad that you are mentioning this because I think that. very relevant with our experiences and, and like I say, I saw Carmen a lot like in me, you know, with my current season of life and how. Yeah, like especially how like in relationships, uh, you know, we know that with Allie and her, like they evolved when, you know, one friend has children and the other one doesn't. even within that, you know, you feel sometimes guilty if you end up hanging out with your

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

or you know, you feel guilty within yourself. Like, why am I even thinking this

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Wishing that I had a different life. And so it's such a. I don't know. It, it, it's, I, I don't even have the word for it, but with us feeling this way, first of all, we need to validate those feelings,

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yeah.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

that it is okay to feel this way, to think this way, and then, you know, how can you. Essentially move forward. Like, what is it that you want? How can we

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

true to ourselves and live authentically without wishing that we were someone else? We can still bridge this identity as moms, as women, right? Specifically

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

how can we bridge this duality, uh, to become a better version of ourselves? So

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

and I think it's important, you know, um, my parents divorced when I was young, and so the, you know, it was traumatic and it was all the things, but also it was a, an incredible gift because it humanized my parents from an early age. And I noticed with my kids, you know, they've got that perfect nuclear family. And not everything is great, and not everything is, is roses in our family for sure. We have our own struggles, but uh, because they've got this. These two parents that really love each other and really love them, that we can kind of become these, uh, paper cutouts of a mom and a dad. And so I almost think it's as hard as it is for them when I'm being selfish perhaps, or when I'm working around the clock. Right now, I've got a book launch coming up and I'm not as present to them in everything that they want or need from me. I think it humanizes. Me for them, which I think is important for my daughter, that she sees that I get to put myself first. Sometimes there's a time and a season for everything. She, I keep telling the kids, I'll be back in the summer, we're gonna have a great summer. But right now I'm in book launch mode, you know, and I think it's important for my boys to see a woman who is three dimensional and multifaceted and complicated and not perfect. And, um. Not who they want me to be all the time, or who they need me to be all the time because I'm an individual and I'm living my own life too. So I think even from what it teaches the kids as hard a lesson as that can be, I think it, it's important.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

I love it. Oh my gosh, I

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Thank

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Thank you so much for sharing that. Um,

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

so.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

going back with, you know, your two characters uh, Carmen and Allie like. How have your own friendship sustained you through the, the challenges of motherhood and career changes? I'm curious what really inspired you to create these two characters. I know that you told us a little bit more about, you know, just the nuances of motherhood and, and all of that. But, um, with your personal life and your own friendships, how, how did

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yeah,

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

you know, sustain itself?

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

I think, uh, I think I disconnected, I was so on a career track that I did disconnect and not look after my friendships for a really long time because again, only so many, so much of me to go around. And like I said, I was living a double life. I was living this life in the suburbs, uh, and I was living a life in the city as a magazine editor where there were not. I ironically, a lot enough, a lot of moms, and we didn't talk about being a mom because it wasn't, you know, it, it didn't advance our career. And so a lot of my friends were single And um, and, and so when I ended up moving back home and being a stay at home mom and beginning to feel out entrepreneurship and just getting to finally talk to other moms was so. Uh, healing and nurturing and it, you know, just, you know, people being real about their experience. And I just felt so alone previous to that and I was like, I didn't have anybody to talk to about what I was going through, and I just had to pretend like everything was amazing all the time and I had it together. And so to finally talk to other moms and hear their struggles was really helpful to me. Um, and, uh. It just made me feel really normal. And then I was also struggling with my friendships, and I'm sure my friends were struggling with with me as to like, do we keep this friendship going? Like what do we even have in common anymore? And um, I. And especially even with my other mom friends right now, I mean, it's such a struggle for us to get together. There's like so many hilarious memes, right? It's like, we'll get together and then they're like 70 in Palm Springs, and it's like, and it's like I have so much grace for them because I know they've got kids and extracurriculars and like, so much is going on. So, uh, I, I feel like I've finally reached a point where I put a little bit less pressure on myself that. Uh, as far as guilt goes, as far as like, I'm not present enough for them and they're not present for me, but I know that when we do get together or when we do get on a call, even if it's once a year, it's so wonderful and it's like no time has passed and it's so nourishing and healing and cathartic, uh, that I know it's worth keeping that connection alive. And I feel they feel the same.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Yes.

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Oh, I love it.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

it. I'm glad I'm not

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

No.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

And, and let me tell you, finding new mom friends. Uh, I, I think it's been well like I'm a people person. am a Gemini, first of all, and so I love to just like connect with people and everything. And through this platform I've been able to establish new friendships, right? But. know, I do hear a lot that it does make it very difficult to find new mom friends and, and finding the right mom friends. You know, you can have a friend who is a mom, but if their kids are a little older right than yours, or like for me specifically, like I am raising my kids at this point, Spanish dominant. You know, so

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Nice.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

talk about is Spanish and that's it. And it does make it even challenging when. My friends and even family members have kids, like they only speak English and it makes it so difficult. Um, and, and yeah, you know, it, it, it's, I think there's a beauty within that that you get to choose and, but it's also. At least for the old friendships, right, that

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

had before you became a mom. also important to not lose track of them or even like what you have already created,

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

I find that a lot of moms, like as soon as they become a mom, it's like full

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

know? You just. Lose everything behind and, and it shouldn't be that

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

again, we, we have that ability to split ourselves to make sure that our families partners, if we are in a partner relationship, are okay that we are okay. Like, and you know, if we're able to kind of create this sort of unit in our homes, like I'm pretty sure we can do that outside of

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

bring a little bit of ourselves to our old friendships, we can put a little bit of ourselves into our careers and, and just like. Again, not just fully let motherhood define

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

defined by

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yeah,

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

that makes

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

absolutely. Because I feel like, uh, motherhood didn't really feel like it fit me for a long time. I kind of felt like I, I, I, you know, I didn't wanna be a mom to begin with. My kids know this, unfortunately, I, I absolutely freaking love them right now. Like, I, you know, it changed. My first baby changed everything. My priorities completely did a 360, 180. But before that, I like, really liked my life, you know?

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Mm-hmm.

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

I also have like my, and my, my aunts don't have kids. And I saw my mom sacrifice so much for me and my sister, and I just was like, wow, you really, you know, you, you, you're really the unfortunate one. They are living their life. They're going to Madrid. They're dancing all night. They travel whenever they feel like they got lots of money. And here my mom is schlepping these two kids around. So I always felt like, you know, I looked up to them. Um, but now. You know, when I think about my mom and, you know, mother's Day and Spa Days together, and I'm like, oh no, she, she really, she, she did, I don't wanna say she won, but she, she's finally getting her payback. It's like it's finally coming back to her. All the selflessness and self-sacrifice that she's got, you know, two friends, you know, that we adore her and we spend a lot of quality time and we have a lot of fun together. So, so that's been rewarding, I think. For her in this season of her life. Um, but, but yeah, all that to say, I think some people have a calling, like my husband had a calling to be a dad. You know, that, that it's not about a career. There was no other vision or goal he had for himself. Uh, and that's how he self-actualized. But for me, there were so many other passion projects. There's writing books and starting businesses, and I can't stop my creative brain and. Motherhood was one form of creativity for me, but I have a lot of creativity for, um, inside of me, and it manifests in a lot of different ways, and I cannot suppress it because it's not good for my mental health or my soul.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. I think it's definitely finding

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

I would say, again, not losing yourself. Fully and catering towards others, but also like, how can you find this balance? Which it's

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

It's so hard.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

so hard. And, and like you said, you know, there will be seasons where you do have to prioritize on

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Like right now you are launching

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

like, is me. Right? And then there will be seasons where we have to prioritize on our

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yes.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

and. And again, there's that beauty where we can navigate this. Like, just think that women can make amazing CEOs in every single company.

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Absolutely.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

that's just my thought.

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Absolutely.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Yeah. And so when talking about your book, I

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Going back

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

back

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

and forth. Yeah, yeah. No worries.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

uh, I'm sure our listeners are hanging in here and, you know, just listening to our conversation because at, at the end of the day, this is a

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yeah.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Um. So going back to your character, Carmen, uh, she definitely struggles with her

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

right? And, and she has transitioned from like this career woman to a stay-at-home mom, kind of similar to

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

right? And to mine

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

I was super. Into, uh, being in the professional world, right where I just wanted to work, work, work, work. And then had the opportunity for me to stay at, uh, to be a stay at home mom. And even when I had my first child, I was like, I will never be a stay at home mom and look at me. But what would you say to, uh, my listeners who feel like they've lost parts of themselves in motherhood and are sort of seeking reinvention and, you know, just how did you also navigate this too?

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm. Um. Yeah, I, I was so unfulfilled in my career before I left it or was kicked out. Um, and so I started to steal little pieces of time for myself. So, uh, for any wouldbe authors or writers in here, I. Um, there's um, a company and an app called Wattpad. And now Wattpad is a lot of fan fiction, fantasy, not my genre, but they have a great app that you can actually write a book on your phone. And it's really cool'cause you see the book come alive and it's actually in pages and you see all these things. So I was miserable in a job and for fun on my breaks, on my lunches, I would just start tapping out stories on Wattpad and it just brought me so much joy and it was that sense of. Play. And, uh, I started to give that to myself and, and that just grew. And I think from that moment on, I have leaned into what is fun and joyful and playful for me. And that's what works. And it has created entire. Business trajectories for me, and it's just purely following fun, you know, and, and childlike joy. And if I follow that, the clients will follow because they're, the joy is infectious, you know, and I'm inviting to be playful and joyful and with me. So, uh, that has not steered me wrong. And the more I carve out that for myself, and again. It brings a different side of myself to my kids than me. You know, going to a job and schlepping there and being unhappy every day, you know, and, and doing things outta duty in order of responsibility. Now I just do things for fun and everything else follows. Um, but it just started with that one step, those little mini breaks, giving that little thing to myself and, and that's what I would say to anybody about following a passion project or if there's a business you wanna start, maybe you love. Fashion and you wanna start a fashion brand or just like, you know, I was, even when I was on mat leave the first time, because I couldn't just do mom, like, I just couldn't shut off the creative brain. So I was mom blogging and, um, just when, you know, the baby was napping. And again, it was, it was fun. I felt like I was doing something for myself. I was feeling like I'm not disappearing. And, uh. And so, yeah, all those times that I would give myself those little glimpses. It doesn't have to take up a whole day, but I felt like I was moving towards something that was fulfilling and would eventually turn into something, and it did.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Yeah, I love it.

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Thank

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Isn't that beautiful how like when you become a mom, you just all of a sudden have room in

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

oh,

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

to be inspired to build something

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

oh.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

or a passion project or, you know, and I often hear this a lot from the moms that they're like, I don't know what happens, but as soon as I become a mom. A sudden I have all of these

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yes,

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

through my head, and I think it's because of lack of sleep. Who knows?

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

I Hunter. I, I think Itlo, it definitely unlocked something because these opportunities were available to me in my twenties. I. Like, you know, and I actually had less responsibility and commitment and financial commitments and responsibility, so why didn't I go after all of these things in my twenties? There was something that happens when you become a mom that I feel like you just step into. You know, just step into your power and you're like, I'm gonna take care of this. Like, it's so empowering. Maybe that's what it is. Maybe it's empowering. It's just seeing that you're capable of so much more than you ever thought possible. And it does unlock things. I think I became a lot more creative afterward, or maybe I was just suppressed that, you know, but there's something about having a kid, it, it changes everything.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Absolutely. I love it. And. I just love that we feel this level of empowerment, and it's almost like this self-fulfillment in a way, but making it more so on how you can leverage it to, to

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

actual business and then refocus your time into that instead of being confined to like the nine to

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Where many of us, again, we, we end up. Either forcefully becoming stay-at-home moms, or we decide to be stay-at-home moms, and we have that abil ability to, you know, recreate things and be creative and, and I I love

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Yeah. So thank you for sharing that. And so we're going to transition a little bit more on like the mom guilt, because I know that that is such a big thing. Now that you're in this new transition of launching your book, and you reflect a little bit on your experience on how it was to actually write this book having four kids. Can you walk us through how it looked

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

on your day to day or even now? I'm, I'm assuming that you are becoming a lot

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

you know, just promoting your book and the whole marketing aspect of it. Uh, but yeah, like what kinds of systems or mindset shifts did you have to break, to make sure that you, you know, also succeed,

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yeah.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

listen to yourself and become this one person that you wanna become

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yeah. Uh, yeah. I mean, I think early on, um. It did feel selfish because any, and that's kind of the reason why I never wrote a book prior to to this one, was because, well, I gotta get through school and I gotta get my career and then I gotta have the baby. And then, and then it's like, I gotta make money. I gotta pay bills. And so what felt selfish back then was writing a book that. Wasn't, there was no paycheck at the end of it. You know, there it wasn't a promotion. And so that was very, it felt very selfish, and I'm sure you know, my kids have paid a price over the years on some of the choices that I've made to be a stay-at-home mom or to be a part-time mom Now. Um, or, or to be focusing on, on the book. And, uh, they've gone without, I'm sure they would've preferred to have the nice new shoes and a nice new car, you know, and I hope that one day they will forgive me for all of that. But, uh, you know, on the other hand, I hope that they're inspired by the bigger dreams that I've had and that I've chased. But, but yeah, that was a big piece of mon guilt was that I should be using this time to make money. Or, um, be able to give my kids more. So there was guilt around that. Uh, lately I've been so busy with my business and I still, I was adding up the hours. I'm like, I still probably only work part-time. The other day I was in the car three hours driving my kids between all their extracurricular activities. I'm like. You know, it looks like I work around the clock, but only because I work in all the cracks of time that are not the kids, but the kids are still taking most of my day. Um, and so, so for them, it gets, you know, I'll get comments from them that I work all the time, or I've always got my laptop with me. And, um, you know, we'll have conversations around that, around like what mommy's doing, why I am doing it, uh, and, and why it's important to me and why I think it will help our family. Uh, so we're pretty open on those kinds of conversations. But yeah, the kids will give me their feedback every once in a while. And, um, but what I think there's been a few things that have really helped me over the years. First of all, I did do a lot of personal development in the past five years where I got a lot of tools and, um, was able to deal with a lot of the, the mindset things and the, the personal guilt and, and things like that. Um, one. Thing that has really served me is sprints. Uh, and it helps me with writing, and it helps me with anything I do is just, uh, from a doing perspective, from a, you know, as far as a goal setting is having a goal, but having it like a short term. So if you're. Wanting to write a book. Just think to myself, think to yourself, well, I'm just gonna focus on the first draft. Let me give myself three months or six months. I'm gonna do the first draft, and then I'm gonna walk away, and then I'm gonna go focus on my business. And so I have seasons like that where I'm like, okay, I'm gonna focus on my book for three months or six months, and then I'm gonna focus on the business for. Third and fourth quarter, you know, um, or I know that this is like high enrollment season or I'm in book launch season and I know the kids will be home for the summer. So summer I'm really gonna scale back. I won't be taking meetings, I won't be taking on new clients. I won't be, um, doing events and things like that. So, compartment, mentalizing my life to make room for everything, just not at the same time necessarily has been a big thing.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

That's awesome and that's a big reminder for many, and it doesn't matter if you're thinking about writing a book or being an entrepreneur. I think it, it's so applicable to everyday life, whether if you are focusing on your job right now or you have this big project, or maybe right now your kids need you because they are going through a lot of emotions and so it's. think again, compartmentalizing. I love that, that you mentioned that, um, where we can't just do everything all

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

'cause then that's when the resentment comes, that's when the dysregulation comes and it affects our mental health. And just like how it doesn't allow us to, to not like be

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

it Yeah. Like to with our kids

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yeah. Yeah.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

I, I love

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yeah, so the sprints, the sprints have really helped and just, and helps me manage my own emotions knowing I, I'm feeling like I'm not being a really great mom right now, but I know. I know that this is just for a short time only, and I know that why I, why my vision, like I'm clear on what my vision is. I know why I am doing this, and I know that it's for this window only, and then I can be full mobbing and I'll make it up to them and all of that. Uh, the other thing has been, uh, just small attainable goals, you know, and when I first started writing, um, it, it could just be 20 minutes a day, you know, whatever it is that you're creating business. Uh. Business book, anything it, it doesn't have to be something that takes up your whole day or your whole week. It could just be 20 minutes a day. Can you give yourself 20 minutes a day? And for me, it's a big part of my self care is giving myself that 20 minutes, taking care of me and my needs and my deep desires is part of my, so I kind of see it hand in hand with self-care. Can I give myself 20 minutes a day for my own dreams and my own passion projects? And. The rest of the 23 and a half hours is everybody else's, right?

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Yes. Uh, I love it. I love it. And I, I often talk about this, that self-care isn't bubble baths, right?

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yeah.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

what we often think about what self-care is. It's literally how are you taking care of yourself? And this could be even like being a little

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

and doing work, but it's something that feeds you, right, that you. Are that literally it, it, it, it fuels

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

and thank you for sharing that because I think that many of us, we think of self care and like imagine it and see it differently, but it's mostly like, how can you literally dedicate yourself at least 10

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

an hour? And then it just becomes

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

It becomes like part of your lifestyle, uh, too. Again, just taking care of

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yeah. And it changes, you know, um, when, when kids were younger, I remember I would square them away. Everybody was out of my face by like eight o'clock. They were in bed, they were asleep. And my things were happening after eight. I'm like, that's my time, my mommy time. Um, and now my kids never, like, they fall asleep after me. It's impossible to get them to sleep. It's impossible to get them to bed. So, you know, my time has shifted to first thing in the morning and so I think especially with Mommyhood and everything is like the kids go through many different phases. And so what. What your routine will look like, will evolve and change as the kids do. But that time is always available to you. It just might move in the day. Um, but yeah, I, I, I, I feel like that's been, you know, really important. And I also just don't watch a lot of TV and I just, I don't do, you know, a lot of things because, um. This is important to me and it does give me energy and fuel me, and so there's a lot of things that fall to the wayside because of it. So it's just being really clear on my priorities and where my time is going and optimizing it in the way that best serves me.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Yes. Oh my gosh, yes. Time is

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yes,

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

you. And if we're just wasting it on scrolling through our

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

yes.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

then we're just not, again, it all falls back to like how we're modeling ourselves in front of our kids and also like our wellbeing. You know, we end up being resentful because, oh my gosh, I don't have so much time, my kids this, this, and that. And we end up almost blaming the fact that our kids are taking time from us.

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yeah.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

like we really need to about, well, where were we focusing

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yeah.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

During the past hour, whatever. And, I think it all falls back into that self-reflection, uh, piece and

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. That's been like the, the key and the answer to me doing anything in my life has really been the sprints. Um, and it gives me the energy too, because when you look, when you're looking at a big project, uh, it can be really draining, you know? But if I know, oh, I'm just gonna, this is just a sprint. It's for a short time only. I get so much energy to tackle just about anything when I know it's just for a short time only.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Right.

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

we

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

we talked a lot about mommy guilt and how that looks like, especially for us moms who wanna achieve, but we. we have certain limits too. You know, we can't just be, uh, these super go-getters, you know, and be these super mama too. And so what advice would you share with my listeners about how to overcome that mom

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

And all while like trying to pursue their own projects

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm. Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

that look like?

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

I mean, getting really comfortable with. You know, not being a super mom, you know, um, I have not mastered cooking. I am a terrible cook. Uh, I'm actually not, yeah, I'm not great at doing homework with my kids. You know, my husband does that, or now I've got tutors because I. It's just not good for us, for me to be that person for them. Um, and so acknowledging like what I'm not great at and giving myself grace, it's like there are things I'm amazing at, but cooking and homework are not one of them. And so, you know, if the kids wanna write a story or if they wanna workshop, um, an entrepreneurship project that they're working on for school, I'm like, oh, I am in my element. Let's go. You know? Or. We're talking about books or we're talking about psychology or personal development, like I'm always coaching, you know, they're always like, there goes mom again. She's talking about that podcast she watched and I always telling them about the podcast I'm listening to that I'm learning from. And so, um, there are the things that I'm good at and I've gotten better at being okay with not being great at a lot of things. And that's, that's the price I pay because I can't do it all. I definitely can't do it at the same time. And I know that there are things that I'm great at, and I just get to really focus on the things that I'm great at and the things that, um, bring me joy and, and bring joy to my family.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Ugh. I love it. I love it. Because otherwise then, yeah, you'll feel guilty and even thinking of yourself as like. A deficit,

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Oh yes.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

like, oh, I'm not good enough with this. And, and no, it's definitely acknowledging those aspects, right? Like, what are you actually good at? What are you not, and how can you, ask for

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yeah.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

too? And recognizing

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yeah. Yeah. Like, I'm terrible with art projects, you know, my sister got all the art, so it's like, you know, go work with Tia or go with your abuela. You know, like I'm just totally useless with Play-Doh and a paintbrush. Um, and there's just no sense in me investing a ton of time to get really great at that, um, or, or feeling bad about it. And so, yeah, I just feel like I moved through that a little bit faster, but it did take a lot of practice and I. There, there are times that I feel really crummy about it, you know, that I'm like, oh, I burned dinner again. You know, like, can't get this right. Oh my god. You know? Um, but I'm just like, I just get to make a lot of money so we can hire a cook one day and that's my vision. Or wait till my dad, my dad comes back from Argentina this week and then abuelo's in town and he can properly feed this family and get us chimi chewy, and we'll just do steak every night.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

I

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yeah.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

I love it. No. Yeah. I think it's, again, ki kind of going back to the living authentically as a mom. I think that's something that we all need to recognize. Even if we saw it with our mamas and abuelas, that perhaps with the cooking piece, right? They were really great cooks. They were always in the kitchen. That doesn't mean that we need to that or be that, you know, we are obviously

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yes.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

you know, where we are prioritizing ourselves a lot different than they

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

But, you know, and, and that doesn't mean that we are less of a mom if we don't cook or if we're not in the kitchen every

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

We're just different and we need to recognize that for sure. Yeah. Yeah.

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

I just hope like, yeah, the kids may not be nourished in that sense, but hopefully they're getting spiritual nourishment or soulful nourishment and, and my, my flavor of love looks different than definitely my abuelas in their cooking. Yeah.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

I love it. No, it's great. I love

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Thank you.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

All right. Well, Catalina,

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

have

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

final

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

for you, which I don't prepare my guests until I kind of put them on the spot.

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Ah, love it.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

So how are you redefining mad?

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm. Uh, that is a really great question. I, I, I, I think that I'm redefining it in the sense of. It's messier and funnier and more wonderful than anything I imagined. And anything that we've been, anything that's been depicted for us, I feel like, uh, mothers, from what I've seen, have been very two dimensional, uh, on the screen. Maybe not so much on the page, but I just think there's so many more nuances and complexity and women are so much more complex than we've really been shown. And so I do feel like right now it is, there's a wave, there's a momentum of showing women in all their fullness and all their multifacetedness and, and their complexity that they can be a mother and they can feel conflicted about that, and they can be in marriage and feel conflict. Conflicted about that and, um, that we're not just happy to be here. We actually want a lot more. We want it all baby,

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Yes, we do. do. And we can do

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

and we can do it all.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

yes,

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yeah.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

I

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yeah.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

I love it. Oh my

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Thank you.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Catalina, where can people

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Where can

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Mm-hmm.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Which is so

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Thank you.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

little bit

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Thank you. So you can find me@catalinamargolis.com. Uh, the book is at again, only more like you.com. It's available at all your favorite retailers. Barnes and Noble amazon.com comes out April 29th. It's available now. And um, yeah, I hope you enjoy it. And if you do, I would love to hear from you. Please do reach out and you can also find me on Instagram at ka margulis.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Awesome. I'll make sure to share that in the show

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Nice.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

and that way people can follow you

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Without that,

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Again, I love that this is super relevant to mamas, to guent, you know, to people that are in their forties and, uh, or going into their forties and, and yeah. You know, life doesn't

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Yeah. Yes.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

it,

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Thank you.

jessica_1_04-15-2025_090706:

Well, thank you so much for being

catalina-margulis_1_04-15-2025_100702:

Thank you. Thank you so much. It was a super fun conversation. I really enjoyed it.