Caleb Shomo's Pride Month Is Starting a Bigger Conversation

If anyone is having an interesting Pride Month, it's certainly Caleb Shomo of Beartooth.

Val dissects the recent interview Caleb gave on Disrespectfully with Katie Maloney and Dayna Kathan, and quickly discerns that there's a bigger conversation to be had in response to Caleb's news.

Get more Val at https://valkleinhans.com/

Transcript

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We're well into Pride Month, and it seems like the person who might be having the most pride, like we're well into Pride Month, and it seems like the person who might be having their best Pride Month ever is actually kind of having their first one, at least their first one out. Caleb Shovel Beartooth. I mean, he has not even been out a month yet, and it does seem like he's having his best Pride Month ever. He's freeing himself in this current moment. And I have particularly felt engaged and interested in this journey because generally it resonates with all of us. Think about it, queer or not, we all know what it uh what it's like to wear masks in different facets of our life, and we all understand how frustrating that is when we have to do it. And what I really wish is that we didn't have to do it at all. But that's not reality, and that's not the world we live in, and I do understand that. Caleb Shomo's Pride Month, I'm telling you, is truly starting a bigger conversation, and that is something I want to talk about with you vigorously. Thank you so much for the love and the checking in. Some of y'all noticed that I did take off last Wednesday, and that's because there was a lot going on. Personally, in my personal life, there was a lot going on. Number of different things. Um I will start with good news in that some of you noticed I was talking about having a mole removed on my cheek, and it was because it did look sus. Check your moles. That's my PSA for the week. Have your doctor look at them. And thankfully, I did get biopsy results back. It is not melanoma. So we're happy about that. We're celebrating that. That's great. But man, waiting on some results, yeah. It's tough. It's tough to have to sit and wait for those. So there's some of that going on, there's some other personal stuff going on, you know, just all of that was a lot. I'm getting new, you know, information as I'm growing this podcast, and as I'm growing as a content creator, whatever you want to call me, like podcast host, entertainer, influencer, whatever you want to call me, whatever you want to call what it is that we're doing. I'm definitely learning as I'm on this journey. And this is something that yes, it is an anchor for me when I am having a tough time with my mental health. But unfortunately, just because of, I mean, this is real. Sometimes you have to prioritize other things too, your job, a family member who needs you, a loved one who needs you. Sometimes, because of what's going on, because every situation is fluid and flexible, you start to sacrifice some other things. You start to, you can even make that assessment for your own body, which is essentially what I did. I decided for myself that because I was having a tough time with some other stuff, that I needed to prioritize some rest. And I needed to maybe put this type of thing on the back burner while I worked on recovering and getting myself up to speed again so that I can stay consistent for you again. And I feel like we're we're at that spot. Man, I take your PTO. I'm just telling you, take your PTO. That is also another PSA that I hope you take from me this week because baby, we took Friday off. It was a beautiful day, we had a pizza delivery, and we very simply caught up on Love Island, which I have comments, I have questions, I have concerns about what I'm seeing this season on Love Island, too. Believe me, man, it just oh, these people you know what I want to see? I want to see 30-year-olds do Love Island, and and I want to see like nap time involved in Love Island. Or do Love Island while trying to have a full-time job. Like that, that's the kind of stuff I would like to see because man, but you know what? There's enough drama in the show. And it was kind of nice to just like tune out, so to speak, chill out, get myself in a space where I'm not so amped up, I'm not so overstimulated, and come back, come correct so that we can handle what is a little bit of an intense topic today. I covered this news when it first broke, and I did disclose that I felt it really shouldn't have been news, but it became news when it first broke. It has been almost a month since Caleb Schmo of Beartooth came out as a proud gay man. And I remember saying that I didn't feel like this should have been a shock to anybody, and I stand on that. Especially if you have been paying attention to anything Beartooth has been doing music, like lyrically, musically, aesthetically, okay, these past couple months, particularly, you might have caught it if you'd been watching. But nonetheless, waves were made. The internet loves a controversial moment, and in case you missed it, we learned that in the year of our Lord 2026, being gay or queer is still very much a controversial thing to some people, and they like to be a little bit loud on it. Loud about it, loud about it on the internet, even more specifically. So when Caleb shared this news, the speculation and harsh words seemed to circle specifically around the fact that he had a wife. Now I'm gonna I'm gonna take a moment to explain myself here. He referred to her in the past tense on the disrespectfully interview that I'm gonna refer to this episode, and we will get into in more detail later, but because he is referring to her past tense, I will do so as well. Because that's the limited understanding of where they're at right now that I have. So we'll just go with that. We'll go with what he himself is saying about this situation. I mean, really, because until now, Caleb has been relatively quiet on the details surrounding this announcement and just kind of let the news be what it was. But that changed this past week. Last Wednesday, Caleb appeared on the Disrespectfully podcast with Katie Maloney and Dana Kathan. And for context, I'll start with the fact that, yeah, these three are admitted close personal friends and do disclose this in this interview. Now, I knew this because I am a fan of Disrespectfully. I love Katie when she was on Vanderpump Rules. I still love Katie. I love that she has just blossomed these last couple years into the alternative baddie that we love to see and my style inspiration in many aspects. I love seeing her live her life. I love seeing her in her truth and just kind of being herself. It just feels like she's being herself and she's enjoying it right now. So I've stayed with disrespectfully because it's her, and because I am very much interested in the things that both her and Dana are interested in. I have similar thoughts and questions when it comes to society and what's going on today. And yeah, they're both into heavy music as well. So all of it means I'm a fan, I do enjoy them. So when I knew this was coming, I was especially excited because I knew from the beginning if anybody was gonna cover this with Caleb and do it with a platform that I knew would be comfortable for him. It's this one. It's Dana, it's Katie, it's disrespectfully. Think about this. Like, I just I just don't. I don't think there's a better set of interviewers in the world that would have done a better job of capturing him at his most comfortable, him at his most authentic, and also did a great job at giving him the space to say and give us as much as he did. He knew he'd be safe there. God love him for doing what works for you. Like, really, he he take advantage of it if you know that. This woman barely spoke during the interview, and that part is key. Let's remember that. He needed the literal time and space to get everything out in as clear and concise a way as possible. This was the space that he could do that. Because think we walked away with a lot from this interview. We walked away learning, firstly, that Caleb's religious background is very important and relevant when it comes to his coming out story, too. I'm gonna paraphrase some of this and I will draw from personal understanding, personal experience a little bit too. Caleb did make reference to the fact that, you know, being raised, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure he said evangelical Christian. And that does mean something different. There are uh there is a variety of sects of Christianity that you can take part in. And for him, his upbringing was pretty strict, pretty rigid Christian upbringing, and that means homosexuality is a sin in that world. That is how that is viewed, that is what's drummed into your head as soon as you start to consume that religion at all or or learn about it or get into its teachings. I don't know why it's always been that way, but even for me, who was raised non-denomination Christian, I found that this was something, especially depending on what pastor you're hearing from, that makes a difference too. There's a lot of, you know, I I cannot say that every Christian church is like this because that wouldn't be true. But from what I had seen and from what Caleb himself describes, there are some that take an extremely hard stance against homosexuality, anything queer. They have a hard enough time discussing the subject, and they they believe the Bible says that it is an abomination. I struggled with that even in a non-denomination world because that was somewhat, maybe not as intensely, as what Caleb got, but I there there was a sediment of these things too, even in what I was taught. And it wasn't until I got a little older and started asking some questions that I realized I didn't totally jive with drawing a hard line on these things. I definitely didn't. I I had questions I couldn't understand mostly. And I'm just gonna disclose this to give everybody something to think about. My challenge with the subject and how it was approached with a Christian lens was how could a God so loving and forgiving take such a hard stance against a group of people that were taught he created, firstly, and secondly we're taught he's supposed to love regardless, made a sacrifice for Christ's sacrifice for us regardless, right? That's at least what was presented to me, and I will speak from that perspective. So I that's where I started to have some questions about this whole thing, and I'm I'm explaining it in a little bit more detail so that you get a perspective, and please listen to Caleb's own version about his experience. But all of this is definitely gonna make somebody very apprehensive in coming out because you're taught from an extremely young age that this is something that is so wrong, something you need to reject. You're starting there, so it's gonna be hard to process how to navigate that. He also mentioned something important that I forgot. There's a little bit of arrested development involved here in his case. The attack attack, I didn't realize he was as young as he was when he was in attack attack. Is this 14, 15, if I'm not mistaken? That's a lot. And you know, you're you're given adult responsibilities at an age where you barely understand yourself. So that's coming into play here, too, in his paraphrased words. There's also the moment brought up where he realized he was a little more feminine. He talks about finding a ring one day and how he got bullied for this ring because it looked more feminine, and he was bullied so much for it that he ended up just like tossing it out a bus window. If I'm if that I'm pretty sure go again, go back and listen to him telling the story, but I'm pretty sure that's what it he said. And it was really, really, really interesting to me to hear about how being shut down in that way made things that much more difficult for him. Of course it would, but it has an impact. And we needed that information because it helped us understand where he's at now. Also, his you know, perception and experience when it comes to how being gay is received in metal and in society in general. I mean, overall, that impacted his decision to come out. It also meant that he was going to come out to his wife, but do it in his own way and do it that, you know, uh maybe a little bit differently than other people would have wanted. That whole discussion that he detailed, which is interesting to listen to too. And he did mention that he was aware of how much heat they both were getting online. So that's interesting. Overall, it was a great perspective on why things played out the way that they did in the situation. There was a lot of you could see, you could start to see his side of why things ended up the way they ended up. The podcast was also worth a watch, which I don't say often. It was worth the watch to see his reactions, it was worth the watch to gauge them, and you could see it's just it added to the story because it helped you see for your own eyes the pain and joy reflected in this whole story. You could see it as he tells it. When it comes to podcasts, I like to call myself a purist, and that's because I started my career in radio on the air, audio only. The video of it all did not come into play until after I was taught broadcast fundamentals. So I just feel like audio is the purest way to present the art form of broadcast. That's just me. If you don't know this, I'll just explain. Like it's only been the last 10, 15 years, somewhere in there, where both audio and video have gone hand in hand, especially in broadcasts in the radio world. I know that that is because the way we use social media has changed. But I digress, I could do a whole episode on just that topic, and I won't because we have a different topic today. I'm just saying, given the sensitive nature of this interview, I understand why it was worth the watch and I recommend a watch so that you get the full understanding of everything. I would like to hear his ex-wife's more detailed thoughts, too, on a platform where she feels more comfortable, but I don't know that we'll get that. We're certainly not owed it. She has been relatively quiet about a lot of this, and the most that she said about any of it is that she's sad. Of course, anybody would be in her position. Hadn't said a whole lot much more than that, but that's what she's offered. And I I'm only saying, man, I wish that we kind of heard a little bit more. Because I just think that her thoughts would be important when it comes to some other couple that is looking for support because they're experiencing something similar. If she I think it could be helpful. This is a rare thing. This isn't something that happens every day. Her thoughts are valuable to hear too. They are. So if she wants to talk, we're all ears, but if not, that's okay too. After listening to the full interview, I was left with one big takeaway. And that is the bigger conversation. The whole reason we're doing this episode. The bigger conversation, I believe, is this. We still have a lot of work to do when it comes to cooling down the temperature around discussions involving gay and queer people and gay and queer culture. In 2026, it is hard to believe, hard for me to imagine, that coming out is still seen as somewhat taboo or controversial. But this case shows that it still is for some of us. And I think that there are a few reasons for that. I mean, in fairness, this one probably raised more eyebrows because we know there's a heterosexual relationship involved. And we're trying to process how all that's connected and how all that works, and naturally it's going to lead to questions. The metal world ate it up because there's some discourse there. We do, I will say this, we do still have some super broy alpha males in the culture, just like anywhere else in the world right now. This is not exclusively a metal thing. It's it's around. Okay. And I think there's always going to be a super macho presence in heavy metal because that is its origin. That is the packaging it was delivered to us in. However, I did do a whole episode on this. I see this balancing out. Women and their role and what they do within the space, it's all evolved. And I don't I don't believe that the scene is so macho that it's impossible for anything feminine to exist or coexist with. I do think those opportunities have been opening up. I would like to see that open up more. And what I'm getting at is because we're still seeing some hateful stuff, I can understand apprehension in coming out even today. I will also submit to the class that the political climate we're currently in is not helping. It is not helping to create any inclusivity at all. And that is another reason why coming out is still seen as taboo or controversial or it gets attention. We're doing a lot, we're doing the absolute most right now, regardless of where you are on the political spectrum. I'm just saying, it it is a lot. Like uh we're almost asked to be extreme in our choices and extreme in our stances, and I'm gonna get into this in a minute, but it's a lot. There is also the presence of religion, and you know, right now in the US, it is getting more diverse, but mostly we still cling to Christianity and its teachings. Our laws have some basis in that as well. So when those teachings are still openly presented as directly opposed to anything homosexual or queer, and you are encouraged to hold that hard line, and you're inundated with that information from an early age, people. Are you gonna have visceral reactions to it, or you know, any thoughts or comments on the subject? I explained that that that's kind of part of the teachings. You know, I've got my reservations about that, you know I've got my questions about that, man. I'm kind of curious to see if this changes as I get older. I'm wondering if people will still hold on so tightly as I age. And I'm hoping we open up there, we need to open up there. That's that's what I'm gonna that's what I'm gonna put the peer, you know, with on that subject. The bigger conversation is that we've got to do and talk about doing a better job of creating space to openly talk about these things, and I do think that we can do that by taking a cue from Katie and Dana. We need to do what they did in the Caleb interview. We need to listen. They listened and they paused before responding. And I know that this is likely natural because in this instance, these three are admitted close personal friends, and they did take very good care of Caleb and his emotions during this interview. But what if we treated anything that we didn't understand or agree with this way? There are hard boundaries and morals involved sometimes, yeah. And those are going to be defined differently by each person, sure. But to me, my golden rule is don't be a dick. And it's also that if somebody existing is not directly threatening my survival or safety, why not just pause before reacting? You might even land on neutrality, and that is okay. Everybody seems to be. I mean, it definitely looks this way on the internet, it definitely looks this way on the news. Everybody screams about choosing sides today. And there are some people who do this in real life too. And sometimes I wonder if we're peer pressured into making these choices. And I really caution doing that before we absolutely need to. Don't get me twisted. Please do not get it twisted. I do think that there is moments where drawing a hard line is called for and it's absolutely necessary. But you do not need to turn every situation into a choose your side situation. So let's get away from that. Let's let indifference or neutrality enter the conversation, enter the chat as an option. Okay. My final thoughts, and I think this is where I'm gonna leave this. Like anything else in life, when somebody is passionate about something, it is gonna be hard to sway someone away from loving that thing and doing that thing. Because Caleb is creative and loves to create, he will continue to do his thing, and Bear Tooth will likely carry on and gain a new audience. They will gain a different fan base here. In the disrespectfully interview, Caleb hinted at this already, but he's noticing that his front row at these last few shows that they've done, they look different. And that's a good thing. What's going to happen is their fan base is going to be more reflective of where Caleb and the band are at today. And again, it should mirror what's happening in the world. Heavy music should follow suit. That's a natural thing for any artist to have happen as they grow as people. Your fan base should look a little bit differently if you're going to do things differently. It's gonna happen. And on a personal note, I'm all for diverse audiences in heavy music. I can't think of a con to being more inclusive. I can't. I can't. You know, you gotta keep some things in check, but generally, let's pause, see what everybody's doing, see where they're at first, and then make our decision. You know? That whole thing. The gatekeeping, too early to employ that in a lot of situations, and that's why I caution it. So this Bride Month, let's use it as an excuse to practice interacting with artists or even fellow members of the public with neutrality and pause first. I think it's okay to be in our separate corners when we don't get along. I think that's okay too. Don't force interaction where there doesn't need to be one or where there's no real reason for it. But do seek balance. And most importantly, this is something that I'm learning this week and what I took away after my own mental health break and taking care of myself and doing what I needed to do for me. Most importantly, you very simply must stand on your business. Because the quickest way to feel helpless in a world that loves to stay chaotic is to lose your own voice. And that is a loss no one should experience. So go forth with that in mind this week. Thank you for joining me for another one. Bye.