The B Team Podcast
Talking all things Business, Bentonville, and Bourbon. Hosted by Josh Saffran, Matt Marrs, and Rob Nelson. New episodes every Thursday!
The B Team Podcast
Ep. 72 - Part 2: Mike on Marriage, Presence, and Priorities
In this special follow-up to last week's episode, we dive deeper with Mike Shelton into the heart and soul of Marriage Out Loud, the candid, heartfelt podcast he hosts alongside his wife. This bonus part 2 peels back the curtain on the couple’s mission to strengthen marriages with a mix of humor, vulnerability, and practical wisdom. As Mike shares, their goal is to offer couples real substance in bite-sized 30-minute episodes, aiming to lower the divorce rate one honest conversation at a time.
Mike reflects on nearly two decades of marriage, emphasizing the importance of recognizing love languages, staying present amidst the chaos of entrepreneurship, and embracing intentional communication. The crew explores the balance between business and family, the tension of always being “on the clock,” and the value of showing love through actions, not just words. The conversation shifts from playful to profound as Mike opens up about his own journey as a father and husband, what he’s learned about partnership, and how he’s trying to be the role model he never had growing up.
There’s also plenty of classic B-Team humor, but what lingers is the authenticity and insight Mike brings as someone striving to love better and live purposefully. Whether you’re married, dating, or simply curious about how to build stronger relationships, this bonus episode offers something to reflect on.
And if you haven’t checked it out yet, Marriage Out Loud is available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and more. Give it a listen and maybe hit pause mid-episode to ask your spouse one of the thought-provoking questions Mike and his wife suggest. You just might start a new kind of conversation.
Welcome to the B-Team Podcast. I am your host, josh Safran, with my co-host, matt Morris and our permanent guest Rob Nelson. We're here every week to talk to you about all things Bentonville, bourbon and business the B-Team Podcast Be here. Welcome to the B-Team Podcast. I'm your host, josh Safran, with our co-host, matt Morris. Question for you Can you talk about and plug your podcast with your wife? So again, super cool stuff that your wife got going on.
Speaker 3:Me and my wife do a podcast. It's called Marriage Out Loud. You can go to marriageoutloudcom. We just talk about a lot of stuff that deals with marriage. We've been married almost 20 years, um, and we just talk about the stuff that that.
Speaker 3:Because our goal is, man you know, with with the, the divorce rate being almost 60 percent, you know like what our goal is to. And again, nothing wrong. I mean, again, I'm not for divorce, but in certain certain circumstances, you that that was the right thing to do. I picked the worst, yeah, right, and again and again. At the end of the day, like bro, like I get it, you know what I mean. But my goal is, if people listen to our podcast, that we can give them nuggets, things to work on as a couple, as a family, to where we can make that number come down instead of keep going up.
Speaker 3:You know, because marriage is hard, life is hard and we have fun. We just act ignorant on there. We have fun, but we also try to have substance with it too. That way when people walk away, it's not like we try to keep it at 30 minutes. So that way when people are driving into work or driving home, but they get some substance. It is not just us acting ignorant. They're like well, what did they talk about? I don't know what they talked about, I just laugh, but that's it.
Speaker 1:But you leave with couples that way because we'll ask certain questions and then we'll say, hey, ask your wife, pause this real quick. And ask your husband, maybe look him in now, listen to this one, because his wife doesn't listen to our podcast. Shout out, carrick. She all listens to like dateline and murder mysteries, but maybe, maybe, marriage stuff.
Speaker 3:We're gonna get her in on that yeah, man, absolutely yeah, and I think marriage out loud you, it's on every, it's on uh spotify, uh apple and so it's his big personality and her personality oh, it's nuts.
Speaker 1:And they're breaking each other stones about. Oh, bro, it's all kinds of stuff that we all deal with in marriage.
Speaker 3:Oh, that's yeah yeah, man, we say a lot of crazy stuff on there, but it's substance, but it makes sense as to why we say, yeah, you know what I mean, like, and so it's, it's good, man, I think a lot of people would like it. It's not boring where we're like look at your partner in the eye, just stare. Oh, there's no boring.
Speaker 2:How does that make you feel, yeah, yeah. It's all creepy and everything, just none of that at all. Do you have a chase lounge? I'm going to be honest with you.
Speaker 3:Here's a secret the day of the podcast. I never try to piss her off. Yeah that's, that's smart, because we're gonna go in and shoot five episodes and I don't want her to be all upset and just come at me crazy firing down. Oh man, I'm trying to like lay flowers on the ground, I'm trying to cook her a breakfast. I'm trying to just make sure that she walks in that joke and just hey, like why don't you need to start listening to this.
Speaker 2:You should, I should I mean I've he.
Speaker 1:Well, I listened to all his snippets. Uh, everything he put, yeah, yeah, yeah, I always listen through it. I'm gonna catch this episode because some of the stuff is super relevant. Most of it's super relevant to any married couple yeah, we try to.
Speaker 2:So what would you guys say to like, oh, it's no, it's no one in here, but I've seen it happen before. Yeah, where like someone will like throw mints at people, maybe their spouse Throw what at them Like a mint.
Speaker 1:Oh, a mint, so in hypothetical times. So this must be Josh that does this. No one in here did this, but maybe after one too many old fashions at a brand new 25,000 square foot restaurant across the street from here. Maybe I grabbed a couple of those mints on the way out and started just tossing them at people and maybe one got a little bit heated it was like a 95-pound gas ball Hit my wife in the side. She probably deserved it. You know she probably deserved it.
Speaker 3:Listen, miss Emily, from New York. You know, women are strong man.
Speaker 3:She didn't deserve it. There you go. Good job, josh. She didn't deserve it. There you go. Good job, josh. She didn't deserve it. No, no, I'll say this man, I think every couple is different. Every couple is different. That's a good response. This is the thing. This is the thing. It's not a one-size-fits-all in marriage. You know what I mean. Like, this is the one thing that I've learned about my relationship with my wife.
Speaker 3:We read a book a long time ago called the five love languages, and what I realized is what her love language was like. For her thing back then was like words of affirmation touch, I'm just buying her stuff, yeah, gifts, gifts, and gifts is one of them, yep, and I'm just trying to buy her, like, hey, babe, what are you? And she's like Mike, you're not speaking, but this is not, this is what you want to do. This makes you feel good. And the whole time, us as men, we think because, well, I just bought you that, or I took you here, but she's like yo, I just want quality time, I want you to be present, because that's another thing. Us as entrepreneurs everybody has our attention. You know what I mean. We're always running and gunning. We're never off the clock. You know, that's the one thing, that that's the only thing I tell people all the time when they're getting into business Be careful what you ask for. I said right now when you get off at five, you're done at five.
Speaker 2:Well, that's what carries big thing, and she'll. She doesn't listen, so I don't know. Ok, yeah, yeah, but she always tells me she's like I'm the only person that you'd say no to yeah.
Speaker 3:And she's like you're like I got to go do it, but hear me out, though. But hear me out, this might help you. Don't operate from a lack mentality because you're chasing, it's like but what about if I don't do this? But then when will we know when the next thing is going to come in? You know what I mean the people that's with you in your home. Those are the ones going to be with you, whether you hit that lick and you get that big neighborhood or you don't get no neighborhoods for six months. They're going to love you the same, and so my biggest thing is just understanding what season your spouse is in, because, again, you might just be speaking the wrong language, and that's one of the things that I've learned in my marriage is like I'm going to ask her that tonight. Ask her the language.
Speaker 3:Are we speaking differently, Right, right, Because again your thing might be, again gifts or words of affirmation, Her thing might just be. I just want you to be present. I just want you sitting here with me right now and listening.
Speaker 1:She wants your time. Yeah, that's it, and Matt's right around. He's in Alaska. That's Heather, though.
Speaker 3:But, dude, that's Heather, and again I'm telling you this like I'm over here walking and talking. It's like marriage counseling, for because it is tough bro because we're all as men. As men, god put us as the head of our households, to be providers. So it's just in us to provide. And when somebody makes that call like yo, we need you here because this is going to open up doors for your business to do this, this, we're like, I'm there yeah but your wife's like but I thought, I thought we was going to go and and you're just like but babe, you gotta understand.
Speaker 3:But she don't understand. No, she don't understand. And, respectfully, you know, maybe because at the end of the day it's just she don't care about all we do.
Speaker 1:We need to put you in couples counseling for mad and carry, because I feel like you could probably add a lot of value to what's happening in the earth also, man, listen if I can do anything to help anybody out.
Speaker 3:You know, I'm not perfect, neither man. I only want perfect man walking his own name with jesus. I'm not him.
Speaker 2:Jesus put you in the barber chair. For that reason, I think that's a big reason.
Speaker 3:I agree, I agree, and I try, and I try to do my best, but I'm not perfect.
Speaker 1:Neither, though, man, you know what I mean, and I always say that I'm flawed you say this, you say this, but every time I talk to you, your heart is huge and you're always thinking about others and you're always thinking about making the world a better place. A lot of people say those things, but your actions always back it up, which is why you're one of my favorite right.
Speaker 3:Well, you know my grandma used to say when I was a kid she said, mike, one thing you want to understand. She said all that yapping and no acting ain't gonna work. All that yapping and no acting ain't gonna work love that, she said. You have to be able. She said she told me this one time. She said, mike, if I tell you I love you but I don't show it, when my actions do I love you and I'm like no, but she said there's certain times because I remember, uh, there was somebody in my life growing up. He never told me that he loved me, but his actions showed it and that meant more to me, even though I still wanted to hear it, but the fact that he still showed it, yeah, that's what meant the most to me. And so my grandma used to always tell me she's like look, be the person you say you are, because people are going to see what you do, not just sit there and listen to what you say.
Speaker 1:Actions, not words. That's what I say all the time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, man, I can see your actions and again, I'm not bad in a thousand, yeah, but the older I get, those are the little things that I try to get better at, because I'm raising a young man now, isaac. So it's just for me Shout out to Isaac.
Speaker 2:Shout out to be man. I don't even tell him I'll start crying. We have our youngest. She's going to be a sophomore.
Speaker 3:So we're right there with you. I don't even want to think. I was watching their pictures the other day when they posted it their daughters, all of them graduating. I was like I remember when she was real little, yeah, and now boom Going.
Speaker 1:My son sent it to me the other day. I got my father's date cards and he's a little teary-eyed. That's all right. He's a dad. You know my role model. You're my best friend and I'm like we did good, but that's what you did good, that's what you won.
Speaker 3:My wife tells Isaac all the time she's like look, I know you love basketball, we're raising a basketball guy, but at the end of the day, that basketball is going to stop bouncing one day. You know what I mean Like and and who are you? Who are?
Speaker 2:you have you to fall back on.
Speaker 3:That's it. You know what I mean Like. Be a good person, be who God created you to be. Go after those things that God put inside of you, cause those are the things that's going to fulfill you most importantly, because you're going to try to fill your life with a lot of things that it's just going to leave an empty hole. You can't, you can just keep pouring, pouring, eating, eating, but it's going to the void is not going to be fulfilled. Only God can fulfill and that's one thing I'm trying to lead the example with my son is just give him like a godly father. I never had a dad growing up like I didn't.
Speaker 3:And then she's like so for me, I struggle with that. Yeah, so you broke the mold and you're like no, oh yeah, you're like no. And I tell them all the time I'm like bro, I didn't have nobody to look up to. I said God put people in my life as mentors and men, but I didn't have a father. So I said, bro, for you, you got to understand I'm going to fail you because you didn't come with a manual. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, that's all of us are that way. It's tough. You have kids and you're like Bro.
Speaker 3:Now you just like dude, like and I tell him I'm like bro, like I know I apologize to you a lot. I just said, man, I'm just trying to like make sure that you know you don't ever have to do what I did or go through what I went through, and that you can. You know, just all of us are father. We're just trying to do better for you, set our kids up and and, but that's the reason why I have to stay close to god, it's you. I love this guy. Man, I'm overcrushing.
Speaker 1:I promise you ain't had too much to drink. It wasn't.
Speaker 2:It wasn't a drink, no but like we're all at that, yeah, yeah, because we've like our word. They're like leaving the net. Man, it's scary, bro, and you, you know, we, you think you know, when you have these little, when you have them as a baby, yeah, you're like man when it'll be so nice when they get old, because I won't have to worry about right. The worry just changes it's different and it's like you know we have a. We have a. Kennedy will be a junior in college, so you're worried every night.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You're worried when they're going to get home.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's what I'm about to say.
Speaker 2:They're like our second is going to college. Yeah, and it's like so like you worry they don't realize it, but that's all we do is worry. You know and you don't use hope that you gave them all the tools and everything you could. You know they're going to screw up, but you also want them to know they always have you to fall back on.
Speaker 3:That's right, because they're going to screw up. Man, listen, we all did, and it's just. Our hope as parents is that, since we were able to do better and again, depending on how you were raised and who was in your life and who wasn't in your life, your goal is just to give them a way better head start than what you had you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:They're standing on your shoulders and at the end of the day, I tell Isaac all the time I say look, man, there's only one thing in your life that will never fail you, and that's God. You know, I said you have to have a relationship with God. I said I'm going to fail you. Your mama's gonna lead you, you know. So that's man. I know we got off on that, but no, no, no, that's.
Speaker 2:That's what it's all about.
Speaker 1:Yeah and we could go on for hours with you. Yeah, I love it, I'm coming up on time. Okay, I want to make sure we plug uptown one more time. Yeah man, website. Yeah man hours.
Speaker 3:Yeah, facebook page. Yeah, man, uptownbarbelloungecom. Um, we're right there at 502 southwest 12th street here in bentonville, arkansas. Um, if you can't get at the gents place, come holla at us, we'll definitely. Let me plug the gents place.
Speaker 2:All is it just. Is it all reserve? You have to have a reservation, or is it no?
Speaker 3:so so we do, we do, we do walk-ins, we do, uh, we do suggest setting an appointment. Um, so that way they're busy. That way if you walk in you, you just little to no way that you have an appointment or you could walk in and we just don't have no time to be able to get you in and we hate to turn people away, but that's just, it's a blessing to be in that position. But at the same time we just we do accept walk-ins when we're able to. But we tell people, hey, make sure if you can set an appointment, because here here at Northwest Arkansas people prefer appointments though because they're all on schedules, they're all on Zoom calls and meetings with all these Fortune 500 companies here, just people on the move. You don't have time to sit in a shop three hours before a haircut, no more.
Speaker 3:That model is pretty much done with, I think, especially in our area. Yep, but yeah, thanks, cliff. Hey, man, also, if anybody needs, oh yeah, hit me up, I do all millwork, all count. Any type of counterstones that you need, we do it all.
Speaker 1:We we can man from, whether it be multi-family, single family, uh, commercial, we do it all yeah, I'm gonna plug it because we we did an rfp for all the millwork at the new gens place and uh. But they're looking at places in houston we're gonna play all the country fort smith and mike and travis and then their shout out I mean, that's who's building the first of its kind, jens Place. That's who Jens Place decided to go with and we appreciate that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, let's bring Travis in. That's what I was about to say. We need to bring Travis in because his story is incredible. Yeah, that podcast, that episode, would be nuts.
Speaker 1:We could just have you and Travis, because Rob probably won't be.
Speaker 3:Let's do it like no, I'm serious like travis should do that travis, because I've known him since I was six years of six, sixth grade.
Speaker 1:Since sixth grade, and you put travis and him together as well together. Once it's gonna be done, you and I'll just sit here like this he's wild, bro, but he's.
Speaker 3:But he's such a such a down-to-earth guy. He, he came from nothing. He has a lot. Now he's blessed. You know what I mean. But he, but he's still here. He's just like, and he's not above anybody, and he'll, he'll give you a shirt off his back, like, and so he wants to help everybody. Let's do it. I can set it up y'all, just let me know. Cheers, my friend. Yes, sir, great to have you. Thank you guys so much, man. Yes, sir, cheers.