27. The #1 Thing You Can Do for Healing Betrayal Trauma (and How I Can Help!)

The #1 question I get from women is "How do I heal this trauma?". Ask any trauma therapist/specialist and they'll say Nervous System Regulation. 

I cannot emphasize enough how much of a priority this should be! 

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Transcript

  Hi, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of what the fuck do I do now with your host, Mandy, a trauma informed women's empowerment, coach meditation and breathwork teacher and passionate advocate for helping women heal from betrayal trauma. And I hate porn.  If you've experienced betrayal, whether it's from a partner secret, poor news infidelity, or just broken trust in general, you know how deeply it impacts every area of your life. 

But I want you to know that healing is possible and it begins with understanding your body. So we're really going to dive into this a lot today because it's really the bread and butter of healing, any type of trauma, not just betrayal, trauma. So before we jump into today's episode, if you can just take a moment to go subscribe and rate the podcast, that'd be so helpful because that's really the only way this podcast can and ever will grow by the algorithm.  I really want to help any women who are out there feeling alone and just like this betrayal and or poor news is her fault because obviously it's not the woman's fault and we need to rise up together. 

So we want to get this in the hands as as many. Women as possible. So they don't feel alone during this. 

Oh, and one last thing too, before we dive into the episode, ,  Tik TOK might get banned. In January for any Americans. So if you only follow me on Tik TOK and you want to stay up to date with any healing tips or just this content in general, please go and follow me on Instagram too, because I don't know what. What it's going to look like in the coming months when, if the bill does go through. 

So yeah, just to keep keeping that in mind.  All right. Let's dive into the episode.  So today we're talking about one of the most transformative aspects of healing, which is nervous system regulation. If you've never heard of nervous system regulation, or you keep hearing it, but you don't really understand like what it is or why it's important. We'll break that down and this episode, just to make sure that it's easy to understand and practical, cause I really cannot emphasize enough. 

 This is the number one thing to do for any trauma, for any healing for longterm healing, not just looking at  short healing where you're just doing like little mindset changes.  This is really going to give you that longterm healing and help you take power over your life. So here's what we're going to cover in this episode, first and foremost, what the nervous system is and why it's so essential to your emotional, physical, and relational health. How betrayal trauma. 

Disregulates your nervous system and will show up in your daily life. The fears and desires that women often feel during recovery and how nervous system regulation can help. And 

hi, my betrayal trauma course that launches in December. It can help you not only heal, but build a life that feels calm, safe, and full of possibility. So you can go and start creating that dream life. That's always been in the back of your mind.  So by the end of this episode, my hope is that you'll not only understand your nervous system better, but also just feel empowered to take the next steps in your healing journey.



So let's start with the basics. 

What is the nervous system and why is it important? So your nervous system is like the control center of your body. It's a vast network of nerves and signals that connects your brain to every single part of your body. And if you even want to look up on Google right now, just like a picture of your nervous system to see all the nerves. 

And actually, I  really recommend looking that up right now and just seeing how widespread it is throughout our own body. Like when I say your nervous system control is the control center of your body. It quite literally is. It's responsible for so much more that I think we ever realized. So a few things that's responsible for it controls automatic functions, like your heartbeat, breathing digestion and your immune system. 

It manages your stress response and helps you react to danger. It also affects your mood, emotions, and how you experience the world around you. So when I say it connects your brain to literally every single part of your body and every automatic function you do, who like breathing in your immune system.  Quite literally dies. 

And I didn't start learning about the nervous system about a few months before my betrayal trauma happened. And I'm just mind blown that this isn't something that I think this should be a fundamental course that everyone learns about, like in elementary school and junior high and high school and college and et cetera, et cetera, just to keep remind you of how important it is and how much just by learning to work with our nervous system, we can seriously take control of our life and start building out our dreams and healing from trauma. So the nervous system has two main states. 

The first one is the sympathetic nervous system, which you might have heard of being fight flight or freeze. So this is your body's emergency mode. So when you perceive danger, whether it's physical or emotional, the system kicks in to protect you and it floods your body with stress hormones, like cortisol and adrenaline preparing you to fight for. For Bernie to fight, flee or freeze. 



So, if you think back to when the caveman era was going on, and this is  the nervous system response that would have been activated, if you were running away from a tiger or a fierce animal, quite literally like running for your life. 

So your body goes into this protection mode and it floods your body with cortisol, which is the stress, hormone and adrenaline, and it pumps all the blood. It just makes you   ready to quite literally  fight or flight, so you can protect your life. So not thinking about current days. This is the same thing our body does when we feel anxious or stressed or say, you see. A nude scene on TV after experiencing betrayal, trauma, and you feel anxious or say. You go to check your partner's browser history and  your heartbeat starts to go. 

You start to get hot.  Those are the same things that where your body is putting in the stress, hormone, cortisol, and adrenaline into your body, preparing you to fight or flight. So just think about how exhausted our body is when we're healing from betrayal trauma, and we constantly have these triggers.



 Your body is putting in so much effort to the extent that it thinks it's like running away from a tiger to protect its life. 

 Our body doesn't know the difference between a quote unquote small threat or a big threat, like right away, our bodies automatically. Boosts our   body with cortisone and adrenaline to make sure that we're able to fight or flights. So it's, it's an emotionally exhausting state to be in. 

And it's automatic meaning that we don't even , know that our body's going into it until we're already into it. Similar to like a panic attack. You don't really realize your body's going into a panic attack until you're having like the shortness of breath and you're getting really hot and you're like, oh my gosh, fuck. 

I'm going into a panic attack. So that's the first nervous system called fight flight or freeze and something else I want to mention too on that is when we have a perceived threat, whether that be. Someone breaking into our house. Or finding our partner was watching porn or seen a name of the girl that our partner cheated us on. 

Like our body can't tell a perceived threat versus a real threat. So anytime our body feels threat, it, perceives it as a real threat in this moment, right away that we have to fucking take care of. Otherwise we're going to die. That's how our body reacts to it. So even if you're like, oh, but it's just like such a small threat scene.  I say threatened. 

Eric wrote such a small threat, seen these.  Nude scenes on TV or TV and movies now where my body starts to feel anxious. Like you're because your body is perceiving that as your physical safety is actually in threat. As smart as our body is  their main goal is just to. Protect us. And keep us alive, so it will do whatever it can. 

So that was a little bit of ramp, but that's the first nervous system. And I'm just trying to really explain it how elaborate and how important all of this is. And then I'll get into more why. So in the second nervous system we have is the parasympathetic nervous system. This is rest and digest. So this is literally the exact opposite of fight flight or freeze. 

So this is your body's calm and repair mode. So you feel safe and the system allows your body to relax, heal process emotions, and it's where all growth, creativity and connection can happen. 



So this is the place that when you're feeling good, when you're feeling happy, when you're feeling calm, centered, safe, that your body is in rest and digest. 

And then the other end of spectrum is when your body is in fight flight, freeze or fawn. 

So now here's why this is so important, your nervous system, as I said before, determines how you feel, how you think and how you respond to the world. So when it's regulated, And when I say regulated, that means it can bounce back between fight or flight and rest and digest at a  natural pace. 

You don't get stuck in one or the other. And obviously . When I also say regulate, it's not that you always want to be in rest and digest because there are times when your body should be protecting you and you should be stressed in some stress is good stress. So regulate a nervous system means we can go back and forth between the two and they go very healthy manner. 

We don't get stuck at one of them.  So when it's regulated, you can handle stress. You're able to connect with others and you live with a sense of ease. You feel safe, you feel happy. You just feel like you're in control of your life and you're not having triggers derail you. But when it's dysregulated, especially after betrayal trauma, you get stuck in survival mode, making it incredibly hard to heal. 

And for, just for background context, just to show how difficult it can be to regulate your nervous system.  As someone who had a general understanding of trauma and nervous system regulation before I even experienced betrayal trauma, it still took me months after betrayal trauma to still learn how to regulate my nervous system, because it does require us to slow down and just have. So much general awareness of the thoughts and the feelings and everything that we're feeling so that we're able to. Pull in these nervous system regulation techniques. 

That'll talk about later and tell our body like, Hey. I understand you're scared right now. I'm safe. I'm going to protect you. Like. Chill the fuck out things will be okay. And we'll go into that later, too, in the episode.  So let's talk about how a dysregulated nervous system will show up in your daily life. 

After going through betrayal, trauma. So one of the biggest challenges of betrayal trauma is that it doesn't just stay in your mind. It impacts your entire physical body and daily life. A dysregulated nervous system can show up in ways you might not even connect to the trauma. So let's go through a few of them. Here's some examples of like physical signs of trauma being in your life.  First having chronic tension or pain. 

So if you notice tightness in your neck, shoulders, or jaws, Maybe you grind your teeth or you wake up feeling sore, even though you didn't do anything strenuous,  that's your body wholly on distress. So when after I went through betrayal, Tom, if you listen to one of my previous episodes on how to deal with anger, I had this extremely intense pain in my jaw for months and months and months that started impacting my ears. 

I was getting these like weird ringing and like buzzing sounds in my ears. I couldn't figure out what it was. And lo and behold, it turned out to be TMJ from clenching my jaw so much and having like night terrors and  having continuous replays of the betrayal throughout the day where I was clenching my jaw, because I didn't feel safe and I felt afraid. 

So my body was like holding onto that stress there. So I had to do a lot of nervous system regulation techniques that helped. We learn how to decide. Get back in touch with my body and stop clenching my jaw so much so that my body could start releasing some of that trap stress. And that's why releasing anger became such a huge part of my healing journey because  often when we're holding onto unexpressed anger, we feel it in our jaw, like our body hold our emotions. 

And that's where we notice tightness. And you're not shoulders jaws or any other area of your body. Another example of physical sciences being stomach issues. So trauma often disrupts your digestion. So you might experience nausea, stomach cramps, or even IBS, like symptoms. I know my stomach and just IBS symptoms were. So absurd after betrayal have a, my gut health was not in a good place whatsoever. , also fatigued or restlessness, you might feel exhausted, but unable to relax. 

It's kind of like your body doesn't know how to turn off the on switch. Like you might have had a full night of sleep, but you still wake up completely exhausted in the morning or just throughout the day. You just feel exhausted because your body keeps going through fight or flight. Another example is having heart palpitations or shortness of breath and panic attacks. 

So these are classic fight or flight responses where even small figures, like a certain tone of voice or text notification can send your body into overdrive.

 So those were physical signs. Let's talk about some of the emotional signs of trauma.  First and foremost, just having frequent anxiety or panic attacks, you might feel like a constant sense of dread, even when nothing specific is happening, small things like being late or hearing bad news might feel extremely overwhelming. Another example is having emotional overwhelm or like explosiveness with your emotions. 

So one minute you might feel fine and the next year crying uncontrollably or snapping at someone you love. And I just want to say this isn't because you're too emotional it's because your nervous system is being overloaded. Another example of emotional signs would be having emotional numbness or disconnection. So on the flip side, you might feel nothing at all. 

Like you're completely detached from your emotions or even your body. And this is our survival mechanism called this association. So those are some physical and emotional signs. Let's talk about some cognitive signs. And again, I'm just trying to show you how much this trauma quite literally lives in our body. 

It's not just in our mind. So cognitive sides would be having intrusive thoughts or memories. So if you are replaying the betrayal over and over in your mind as if your brain is stuck on repeat, this is a sign that your nervous system hasn't processed, the Chama fully. 

Another example would be difficulty concentrating. So betrayal trauma can make it hard to focus on work conversations or even simple tasks. Your brain is too busy scanning for threats to pay attention to anything else.  Another example would be overthinking and second guessing. So you might find yourself obsessing on for decisions, analyzing your partners, every word or action, or questioning your own judgment. 



Another example of relational science would be hypervigilance. 

You might feel like you're constantly on guard, looking for signs that your partner or anyone else might be Trey you again. You might have difficulty trusting others, even relationships outside of your partnership, you might struggle to open up or believe that people have good intentions and not, this was a really difficult thing for me, even with like friends and families after betrayal, because my mind, I was like, if the person I loved and lived with and I cared for the most was able to do this level of with trail to me,  what level of betrayal is everyone else capable to do for me? 

So trusting others was a really difficult thing. I had to work through.  Another thing is people pleasing are avoidance. So some woman after responded by trail respond to betrayal by trying to quote unquote, fix things by becoming overly accommodating or avoiding the conflict altogether and not wanting to bring anything up to their partner because he'd rather just keep the peace and kind of act oblivious and act like you don't know what's going on. 



And then there are also some spiritual signs of trauma. 

And so if you had a relationship with a higher power, if you were into God or the universe or whatever your religion was, betrayal can auction. Can often shake your spiritual foundation. You might wonder, like, why did God let this happen? Or you feel like you've lost your connection to your higher power. Another example too, is just having  a loss of purpose or hope. 

So it's really calm to feel like your dreams, goals or future happened shattered. And this isn't a sign of weakness. It's just a really natural response to trauma.



So when women often conduit to support, I often hear very similar fears and desires and  they're very tied to the nervous system states. 

So for example, some common fears I hear are, what if I never feel safe again? What if I can't ever trust my partner or anyone else? What if I stay stuck in this pain forever? What if I'm not strong enough to heal? So these fears are so real and they're often magnified by dysregulated nervous system. So when your body is enter Vive a mode, it's really hard to imagine a future where you feel calm, strong, and whole again, because again, when you're in survival mode, when you end that fight flight freeze, fawn mode. Your body's main goal is , I just need to focus on survival and being safe. 

And that doesn't look like thinking of the future where you can have this happy life.

And at the same time, we won't come to me elsewhere. Really powerful desires, such as, I just want to feel safe in that piece. Again. I want to trust myself again. I want to stop overthinking and finally feel free. I want to rebuild my life, whether or not my partner is a part of it. So these desires are completely possible, but they start with creating a foundation of safety and your body by regulating your nervous system. 



So healing, of course, it's, it's not just about processing your emotions, but it's about giving your body the tools. 

It needs to feel safe again. So that's where nervous system regulation comes in. And it's a core part of my course. And the reason I did this is so let me give a little background context about me. So when I started my healing journey, I was obsessive listening to podcasts, reading books, researching, et cetera, but I wasn't actually healing. 

I felt like I was just taking information. I felt stuck like nothing was happening. I felt like I was taking one step forward and 10 steps back. Like my days were being derailed, but triggers with anxiety, with fear, with stress, with overwhelm,  I just felt so stuck and I felt like I couldn't connect with people. 

I didn't feel like I trusted anyone and.  But I just kept taking in more information, more podcasts, more books, research, and et cetera. Nothing was happening. And I had an amazing opportunity to travel the world alone after betrayal. And I realized I'm so privileged to be able to experience this. But my goal with the trip was to travel the world and to learn ancient healing modalities for trauma, for longterm healing. 

I was like, I don't want to vacation. I want to dive into all the crazy healing techniques that I can learn, and I want to be able to cure my trauma so I can go and help other women,  I want to see what's possible.  What, what are the podcasts? What are the books not teaching me?  What do I need to know? So the reason I did this is before my betrayal trauma. 

, I've mentioned this before in a few episodes, I was laid off from my corporate nine to five job. Working at a tech startup during their third round of mass layoff after COVID. But before that I was already starting to get  into meditation, breath, work and yoga, which are all amazing things to regulate your nervous system, but really long story short, one week after getting laid off, I sprayed my wrist while I was hiking. 

And so I couldn't move it for weeks. I couldn't type, it was really difficult to look for new jobs. I couldn't write cover letters and I couldn't  update my resume. So I had a lot of free time, but I couldn't really do much cause I was in a lot of pain all day. So I had basically to sat for like hours a day, just reading books about ancient healing techniques and trauma. And I was mind blown at how much our body is the one that holds on to trauma and how we hold. Our emotions and our body and how that can manifest as physical diseases. 

So I decided to  enroll in a meditation teacher training and a trauma informed breathwork teacher training. So it was literally learning about trauma every day for weeks. Okay. And this was all before my betrayal happened. And then when I discovered my betrayal trauma, it was like right in the middle of taking those two separate courses. 

And so when I caught him getting a whole term with a porn star, I had  the most. I'm talking about the exact moment. When I found out I had the most intense panic attack on my life, I broke out into rage. I was screaming at the top of my lungs.  Everything around me was dizzy and hazy.  My vision wasn't closing. 

I couldn't see anything. , my absurd neighbors called the police because I was screaming so loud. They obviously thought I was in danger.  It was an extremely intense moment and  everything felt like it was such a blur. The, in that moment, I was like, holy shit, I'm having a trauma response right now. 

Like I know after everything I've been learning in my meditation and trauma informed breathwork training that I am in trauma and my body is trying to keep me alive and trying to save me. So in that moment, I was literally able to call myself down to an extent with the techniques that I've been doing in my training. 

And it's ultimately what prevented me from taking my life that night, because literally seconds away from Andina. But I told myself, I was like, just focus on this one technique and I set a timer. The technique was I set a timer on my phone for like five minutes. I was like, I am about to end my life. 

I'm going to give myself five minutes to overcome it, and I'm going to do this breathing technique that they kept teaching me.  And my trauma training. So what the breathing technique was is you would inhale through your nose for five seconds.  Hold your breath for six seconds. And then exhale out your mouth for seven seconds. And you would do the unrepeat so inhale through your nose for five seconds. Hold your breath for seven seconds. And then exhale your breath for eight seconds. 

So I set a timer on my phone and just sat there. I did that and I was like, At the end, it helped me start to calm down. I was like, okay, like I can think clearly now I'm not going to end my life. But  it was such,  an eyeopening moment for many of reasons, but that's  when I realized, oh my gosh, if this addiction in this chain had been going on my entire relationship, What are the odds that God, the universe, whatever you want to call it. 

What are the odds that I would find out weeks after I just learned all these techniques on Chama and they all these weeks after I like, knew, like I felt like God and the universe was giving me this technique speak, Hey, your life is about to crumble in a really insane way.  So this is happening. It's, can't be unavoidable, but something good is going to come out of this, but here are the techniques that you need so that you can kill yourself and then help heal other women after. So I felt very thankful to have had that realization, but months passed. 

And I didn't feel like I was making any progress in my healing journey after I left.  Like I said, I was obsessive. We reading every book, listening to podcasts, researching for hours a day. Reading Reddit forum and just like doing whatever I could to try to make sense of what happened. 

, I couldn't quite understand it, but I still felt stuck. And then I realized I wasn't healing. Like I was just taking in information and then. I went to a. Yoga class where the instructor was talking about trauma. And it just was such a good reminder as like, oh shit. Yeah, no dumb, not healing because I'm not doing a lot of nervous system regulation. 

It's like everything I learned in those courses,  just went out the window because my body went into such a survival mode where it couldn't think of forward thinking. It was just like, whoa, every day. How do I stay alive every day? And I get, I've mentioned this before in other podcasts episodes. 

 After I left my partner, I was homeless for seven weeks. I was couch surfing with friends.  All my stuff was in storage. I was quite literally living out of garbage bags, just like jumping from a friend's house to Airbnb is to like whatever I could do. Cause I, again, I didn't have a job, so I couldn't get a lease on an apartment. 

Cause I didn't have proof of income besides my severance checks. And. Yeah, life just got so crazy. So  I wasn't able to remember all the healing techniques that I had learned. Anyways, long story short. At this yoga class, a girl was talking about how she just went to Bali and how she was learning about all these  trauma healing techniques

and I was like, great, I'm going to go there. I have money in my bank account because of my severance checks. I don't have any rent to pay right now. I don't have any bills to parent now because I am essentially homeless. I'm going to use that money instead. And go to this place and learn all these techniques. 

And so I went there, I was just mind blown at how different of an approach they have about healing. Compared to here in America and like the general information about like service level of trauma. Like they. So I was constantly going to classes, going to workshops like every single day I was just learning and taking in as much information and applying it to myself. And that's when I started to heal,  my panic attacks were going down. 

Like I was able to  help myself when I was feeling stressed, anxious, overwhelmed. And then when I came back to America, I just started applying those more and more and more. And I was like, holy shit, this is what works.  This is what he does. And he stopped taking in information, but betrayal, trauma need to start actually applying information for nervous system regulation. So, this is why I created the course, because I want you to have the information on betrayal, trauma to understand what's going on and how to get through it, but also have the everyday tools that most people don't know about. 

And that's why I think a lot of people feel quote, unquote stuck in their healing journey because of course, you're not going to be able to move forward. If you don't have the everyday tools to use in every scenario on how to overcome your anxiety and your triggers and your overwhelm and your feeling feelings of being stuck or being in people pleasing mode.  So really I wanted to create this course because this course my way of holding out a hand to you saying you're not alone. You're not broken. 

You're not to blame. You can heal life and get so much better and here's how you're going to do it. So it's a step-by-step. Framework to literally it's everything I wish I had when I was in the betrayal trauma trenches, along with everything I've learned in my women's empowerment, life coaching training, and also my trauma informed in advance relationships training too.  So here's how the course is designed to support you, to give you a little sneak peek. 

So there's over 50 videos where I guide you through everything. Literally every step of the way,  my face is in every video I'm talking to you.  Obviously it's not interactive because it's not live, but you're able to see me. And I walk me through everything.  And there's slide shows there's notes, there's worksheets, et cetera. There's also over 30 nervous system regulation techniques designed to use any time to help you ease triggers, anxiety, stress, overwhelm. Rumination fear, et cetera. There's also eight over a modules to help heal and empower you. And I wanted this to all be focused on healing. 

You instead of healing the relationship, because I feel like the number one way you can even start healing. The relationship is by healing and empowering you.  When have you ever had time to just focus on building yourself, love yourself, trust in your confidence.

Then I also created the course to to help  women who are in the relationship and also women who have left the relationship. So if you're in the relationship, there's also modules focus on if you should reconcile the relationship and what to do from there and how to move forward. And then if you already left the relationship or decide to, there's also modules focused on detaching from your ex going no contact and confident Dina. 

Again, if you want to date. It's also over 20 worksheets for self-reflection journaling mindset, reframes triggers and creating a step-by-step game plan. 

There's also 14 visualization meditation techniques to use any time to help manifest your life, your best life, your dream partner, ease, overwhelm, and stress, and just provide overall deeper healing by really getting you to go back into the body instead of just surface level reading information. And of course it also be a private shame-free judgment-free community of women who are taking the course will answer any questions. And this will be  different from the betrayal warrior support group that I currently have. 

And it will be exclusive just for women taking the course. So if you have questions, I can answer them there. And then we'll also have a monthly call. So you can  get to know one another on a more deep level and start building friendships with supportive women who won't Shane you, and who actually understand what you're going through. 

And also in 2025, I'm going to be launching monthly somatic workshops to help you to be physically release trauma from our body. And  I'm so, so, so, so sad about this, like this isn't going to be all the stuff that I was learning and all the workshops and the classes that I was attending. So I can now teach you. 

And these are things that I, I never talk about them on social media. It's more so what I do with my one-on-one coaching clients, because it's so hard to teach this information because it goes so in depth and realistically social media,  reels and videos take like anywhere from  five seconds to maybe a minute and a half. 

And there's no way I can explain any of this information such a short time. So, this is really going to be all like the behind the scenes work that I do with my one-on-one clients. And then they'll also be a vision board workshop to help you anchor into your dreams daily and also just lifetime access and free access to all future updates. 

Anytime I make changes to the course. So that's a little bit about the course, and I know right now you might feel stuck in a storm of anxiety, self doubt, confusion, or anger, and the betrayal might replay in your mind. No matter how hard you try to pay. Might feel an escapable trust in yourself or others might feel impossible and you might be skirt. 

This hurt never might , never go away. That's exactly how I felt after my betrayal. And I just felt so stuck in time. But imagine having a life like this instead where you're able to let go of the self blame, knowing without a doubt that the betrayal was never your fault. Fleeing calm and capable, even when triggers arise, because you know exactly how to handle them and sit up and ruining your day.  Making decisions from a place of confidence and power, not fear, whether that stay in the relationship or leaving it behind for good. Yeah, waking up with hope and excitement for life. You've rebuilt that genuinely excites you. Hell. Yeah. Looking in the mirror and seeing someone strong, confident, and worthy someone you love and respect, not that you aren't already those things, but this course really helps you tap into your self confidence and your self love. 

So you can fall in love with the woman. You see, who's looking back at you in the mirror.  Rebuilding yourself worse so deeply that you no longer waste time on people who don't deserve you or people who don't treat you well. You don't get annoyed, looking at happy couples cause you know, your worth doesn't depend on your relationship status. 

And you're generally proud of this new life you belt. So, this is what healing looks like. It's not just about feeling better or getting over it. It's about becoming the woman. You're always meant to be strong, confident, unique, empowered, happiness, peace. And this is everything my course is designed to help you overcome. And so this course isn't just about quote, unquote, getting over it. 

It's all about taking your power back and tapping into post-traumatic growth. It's about empowering you to reclaim your self worth. Fall deeply in love with yourself and create a new you where you feel confident, optimistic, and loved. So in this course, you'll also understand how to heal from betrayal, trauma, strengthen your intuition. 

Be able to trust yourself. Understand my nervous system regulation is mandatory for healing and how to actually apply daily. So in those moments, when you feel anxious, stress overwhelm, Saudi know exactly what to do and what your body needs in that moment to feel safe, to calm down and to move forward. I also teach you how to manage triggers and most important. It will teach you how to learn to love yourself. 

And  self-love has been the number one, obviously, along with nervous system regulation has been some of the. Biggest lessons and techniques and strategies that I've had to learn in order to move beyond the betrayal in order to move and create my dream life. When we start to love ourselves more  everything in our. Life starts to positively change because we stop wasting times. On things that don't serve our best selves on things that weigh a stout on things that drain our energy, whether that be work relationships, friendships, family members.  How we spend our day, our hobbies and doom scrolling and the more we love ourself. The more we start having in developing this  healthier and happier attitude towards life. 

We start eating better. We start moving our body more. We start choosing to be around people who. I truly love us and respect us in who energizes instead of draining our energy.  So that's a little bit with the course, and this course will also help you transform any emotion into empowerment, overcome self limiting beliefs, such as I'll never hear heal. 

I'll never find healthy love. This is just what life is always going to be like. I don't deserve true love. I don't deserve honesty. I don't deserve respect. I can never live a life like that. Those are all self limiting beliefs I had to  overcome through, but we'll also work on ones that specifically you had overcoming the course, and then also to start creating a life you're excited about and get crystal clear on the type of romantic partner that's best for you, whether you're in the relationship  or not. 

 This course will also do a lot of manifesting, but also taking actionable steps towards becoming the person that you want. For the dream partner that you want. And we dive into that a lot in the course, too. So I noticed round blood a lot, but if you're feeling stuck, if you're feeling overwhelmed or just unsure how to move forward, I just want you to know that healing is possible and you don't have to do it alone. 

 This course it can be is everything I wish I had in the trenches and it's everything I've applied on myself and my coaching clients. So the course is launching in December and it's designed to give you the tools, guidance, and support you need to. He'll at  a deep lasting, sustainable level. 

And I say lasting sustained what in long term, because there are some courses out there that focus more. So understanding mindset, reframes and thinking more positively, but it's missing a huge section. It's not healing the trauma at the root and the trauma at the root is nervous and regulation and finding safety within your body again. 

And knowing how to overcome all these times where you feel stuck, blocked, or  overwhelmed in the day.

And I have a free nervous system regulation.  PDF and the show notes and also in my Lincoln bio on Instagram and tech talk , I highly recommend downloading that again. It's free. There's so many nervous system regulation techniques on there, and that's what like 5% of what I'll actually be deep dive, into the course. 

And the course again, will all be video modules with me. So I'll teach you. I'll walk you through all the techniques. I'll teach you how to do them. We do it multiple times throughout the course, and the focus is to really get it ingrained in your brain. So , when you're out in the real world, like if you're at target, if you are at a restaurant, if you are just walking your dog and you start to notice. Your self get overwhelmed or stress or replaying the material in your mind. 

 This course teaches you what to do in those moments so that you can ground yourself. You can calm down, you can find safety for your body. So it doesn't derail the rest of your day and make you have a bad day.



So highly recommend going to the show notes to download that. 

And then  when you go to download that and the show notes, OB LA pop up, you'll click the button and then there'll be another page that comes on. We click that button to just make sure you click, that will confirm your email. So then you'll start getting information about the course. And if you don't receive the email, just check out your spam folder to see if it went there instead. 

But I think that's a great place to start out for nervous system regulation, just a good place to.  Start learning what to do in those moments, whether with your partner or whether you left them. So thank you again so much for listening again, if you can just rate, follow, subscribe the podcast so the algorithm can grow. 

That's really, the only way the podcast will grow is by how many ratings and people follow it.  , I just want to get us in the hands as many girls as possible. SUNO girls feel alone. And then also again, if you follow me in tic-tac, but not Instagram, highly recommend starting to follow me on Instagram too.  Just in case the Tik TOK ban goes into effect in January in America. 

And we'll all be bought from Tik TOK, which is, oh, what a sad day. Um, But yeah, just go ahead and follow me on Instagram so you can still get any betrayaled healing tips. Stay up to date with the podcast, et cetera. So thanks so much for listening today. And remember, you're stronger than you think you are worthy of a  life filled with peace, joining confidence. 

You're not overreacting, you're not being insecure. You are disrupting your brain and body is quite literally responding to a traumatic experience to just be patient, be gentle on yourself and really focus on starting off with that nervous system regulation guide it's free in the bio. , but we'll just be a helpful place to start  before launching into the course where we dive so much deeper into everything. 

So thank you so much. I love you all. And I'm so sorry that you're in this position to begin with.  Your feelings are valid. What you're going through is so unfair. You shouldn't have to be dealing with this to begin with, but I hope. I hope if you gain anything from this podcast. And from listening to me, like I have been in the betrayal trenches with you, but I want you to know things can get so much better. 

 Every day now I wake up and I'm just amazed that my life became what it was from going through this betrayal trauma and from healing. And I can finally look back and see the gift in it all. And I'm not saying that to minimize anyone's pain, no one deserves going through this.  No one ever deserves experiences whatsoever,

but when we start finding a gift and it all, by going through a healing journey and , coming out the other side, stronger, more empowered, more resilient, happier, more loving, and more full of life and creating a life and creating passion. That's where  we really start to be able to tap into that post-traumatic growth.  So, thank you. 

I love you. And I hope you have an okay day. I'm not going to say good day because I know some people might just have not have good days and I'm sorry, and that's a normal part of healing.  But go ahead and download that, , nervous system regulation guide my bio. I love you. 

Bye.