40. How to Handle Rejection

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Transcript

 Hi everyone, and welcome back to another episode of What the Fuck Do I Do Now? A safe space where we talk about all things healing and empowerment after their cheating porn use and betrayal trauma to remind you it's not your fault in hearing is absolutely possible. I'm your host Mandy, a certified woman's empowerment life coach, trauma-informed relationship coach, meditation teacher, and trauma-informed breathwork teacher.

 All right. Welcome back to another episode. Today we're gonna get a little bit woohoo spiritual and I'm gonna invite you to rethink how you view rejection. Rejection being anytime you didn't get what you wanted, whether that be this relationship that ended because of his betrayal, or a job promotion that you didn't get, or a new job that you didn't get, or a date with a person that didn't go well, or you got ghosted by someone, or a friendship breakup, literally any time

you wanted something and then God or the universe was like, nah, and then blocked it. So rejection is honestly one of the best fucking things that can happen to you. Is it painful? Hell yeah. Does it suck when it happens? Of course. But I'm a big believer that God, the universe, whatever resonates best with you

that they have a greater plan in mind. They have a plan bigger than you can see, and right now you're just able to see that next step in front of you. But the universe in God, they're expansive and they know the next 20 steps instead of the next one.

And they're going to guide you, protect you, and lead you to that best life for you. And that's going to require you to be rejected. That's going to require some of your life plans completely shaken up your life. And it's not because they want you in pain, it's because there is something better out there for you.

Rejection is redirection. They're either saying, mm, nope, not yet, or Mm, nope, I have something better in store for you. Sometimes you don't get what you wanted because you deserve more and something better is on the way for you. So before we dive into this episode today, if you haven't subscribed and rated the podcast, that would be so helpful.

It's the only way for this podcast to grow and for more women who are going through betrayal to know that there's help and resources out here, so they don't think that they're alone going through this.

Also if you're looking for more support all along your betrayal, healing journey, I would love to connect with you.

My applications are open for my four month coaching program, and what that includes is we meet for 60 minutes on Zoom every week, and you also have access to me on Monday through Friday. So anytime something comes up, we can work through things in real time so you don't have to wait till next session.

And this is ideally for the woman who has already left the relationship and she's like, I don't know what the fuck to do. I am feeling anxious. I'm feeling overwhelmed. I am feeling stuck. I'm feeling behind in life. I can't stop thinking about him. I'm obsessing over the betrayal. I am trying to research porn and addiction and infidelity and cheating, but I feel like I'm not healing.

I feel like I'm not moving forward. That's where I come in. I help you focus on how to calm your body so you can stop obsessively thinking about him and wondering, and second guessing yourself so you have time and energy and the mental time and energy and emotional time and energy to focus on building this new life and decide who the fuck do you want to be? Life just gave you a blank canvas and you get to decide who the fuck you want to be and what you wanna do with it.

And I know when we're in this pain. It's so hard to think like what you even want your future to look like. 'cause you're like, I just wanna get outta this pain. And I'm like, yeah, exactly. That's why you work with me. 'cause I hope you get outta this pain and then we get to move forward and help you create this next chapter and decide what do you want to do?

Who do you want to be? What does your dream life look like? That's exactly what I help with. That's being said. Let's dive into the episode.

So rejection is redirection, and one of my favorite quotes is by Steve Jobs. And honestly, I don't really like to go to straight white men for inspiration. Um, I definitely prefer women, people of color in other marginalized groups, but I came across this quote at the beginning of betrayal and it stuck with me, so I wanna share it.

The quote is that he said, you cannot connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. I'll repeat that again. You can't connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backward, so you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.

Basically what this implies is, is that you can't predict how the fuck your life is going to unfold. You can't predict shit about life. You can't plan about life. You can't plan your 5, 10, 15 year. Goals 'cause you don't know what's going to happen. It's impossible to see what the future is going to look like, especially after rejection when life didn't go the way you wanted it to at the time.

Instead, we can really only make sense of why things had to unfold the way they did by looking back at it after it happened. When we're able to see that more of the journey and connect the dots to see where that rejection redirected us to. And he said this quote in his 2005 commencement speech at Stanford, and if you haven't listened to it, I definitely recommend checking it out.

It's really great when you're in this in-between phase of life, so, we all want to know the way our life is going to go because it gives us a feeling of control and safety, but it's a false sense of control and safety. 'cause we have no fucking idea what will happen.

I bet you never thought this betrayal would happen. I bet you never thought you'd be where you are. So we have no fucking idea how life is going to go. And that's a huge reason why betrayal feels so scary, because you thought your life was going to feel predictable and safe. You thought this person was forever, you thought you'd be with them for life.

You thought you were in a healthy, monogamous, respectful relationship, and you thought you'd just follow the standard societal steps of dating, getting engaged, marriage, getting a home, having kids retiring and then dying together with him, like that's what you thought your life was going to be, so that you wouldn't have to deal with all these unknowns.

So when we lose this, when we lose this sense of safety and the sense of control, we feel like we're spiraling, but rejection is redirection. It's a reroute. It's God and the universe telling you that they have something better in store for you. They need to take things away from you in order to create room and space for the better plans that they have for you.

No matter how small or big the rejection feels, whether it was suddenly getting laid off from your dream job or someone not reaching out after a date, even though they said they would. All of this is divine timing and redirection to protect you, to get you to where you're meant to be, not where you necessarily want to be at this point.

'cause there's something better out there for you. It's protection. It's gone in the universe saying, Nope, not that job, not that man, not that whatever. That wasn't meant to be here forever. Or saying, Nope, not that job, not that man, that whatever wasn't going, you bring up the best in you. I have something better planned.

So think, think about it like this way. If you've ever been in other relationships before, even if they're like back when you were like 12 or 14 years old, I want you to think of every partner you've been with and every relationship you left, you probably felt heartbroken when it ended. You probably thought this person was your forever.

When you're in it, and I want you to think like, did the next partner that you ended up getting with, did that feel like an upgrade from your last partner? Probably, and even if that person wasn't you forever, I'm sure you fell in love with them like what you thought love was at that time in your life.

I'm sure you had happy memories with them and was like, wow, I'm so glad my last relationship ended because this one is better. It was an upgrade. It was God and the universe saying nah. We have something better. This relationship needs to end in order for you to get it.

Even think of all the relationships you were in when you're 13 and you wanted to marry this guy, you thought he was forever. And like now imagine yourself with that man. You be like, wait, no, that's not the right person for me. He served his purpose. You learned your lessons with whatever that relationship was meant to teach you, and now you uplevel.

Now you upgrade. Now I get redirected to the best next thing. Or think back to a time if you were interviewing for your dream company, you didn't get it, or think back to a time where you were laid off from your job. Did you end up finding an even better job, eventually, maybe even brought you more money, maybe new coworkers that you liked that turned into lifelong friends, maybe a better boss, a new networking connection.

Maybe it helped you become better at your role, or maybe you completely changed industries and that felt better too. God and the universe had to remove that job in order to make room for something better. So if you've been listening to me for a while, you know my story where I was laid off from my job two months before I discovered betrayal.

I worked at a tech startup and they were going through the third round of mass layoffs, and I eventually was let go. I was devastated. I was crying. I was like, who the fuck am I was having an existential crisis. I'm a Capricorn moon, so I love work. I love this shit. And I worked my ass off at that company and I thought my role would be safe from layoffs.

So I really had this existential corporate life crisis after that. 'cause I was like, okay, well what, what do I want to do now? I loved my job. The salary was the most I've ever made. I hired and I led a team of international people around the world. I was constantly learning and growing so much, but at the same time, I was so mentally drained.

I didn't feel fulfilled. I didn't feel passionate. I just felt like I was climbing the corporate ladder because that's what society told me I was supposed to do. But it wasn't bringing me happiness. I was getting the Sunday scaries every week. My mental health was deteriorating because I was just anxious.

I wasn't feeling confident in my job. There was just so much more that was going on behind the scenes that I kind of just suppressed and pushed down. 'cause like, well, I should be so thankful to have this job. There's so many great growth opportunities. I'm making so much money. So like I should just stick with it.

Even though I knew in my heart, I'm like, this isn't what I wanna be doing long term. I wanna help. I wanna make a difference. I wanna work with women. I knew I always wanted to do that. I just didn't know how. And then God and the universe removed that role from me 'cause that wasn't what I was supposed to be doing.

Had that job never been removed. This is where like everything started changing my life. Had that job never been removed, it wouldn't have freed up all my time. 'cause I was just basically just hanging out for a little bit on my severance checks. I was like, okay, what do I wanna do? I started doing soul searching.

I started going to more yoga classes, breath work classes, meditation class. 'cause like really working on personal development, health growth. And I was like, I wanna become a breathwork meditation teacher. So I enrolled in those trainings. I met these amazing people. I was learning so many tools on nervous system and regulation on how to heal trauma.

So many things that I had no fucking idea were about to be the most profound tools that I was going to need two months from now when I go through betrayal, I had no idea and had I not lost my job, I would've never had that opportunity to learn all those tools. But I didn't know this at the time 'cause you don't know what you're going through until you look back until you connect the dots.

And even when I was laid off, it gave me this time to go to more events and to focus on friendships. And I started meeting new people. I started going to all these breath work, meditation, yoga classes. I started joining groups and going to events and just like, fuck it, I'm just gonna go alone.

Because my partner didn't like to do anything with that. And none of my friends really liked to do that stuff either. And one of the craziest things is about that whole situation is the people that I met these weeks and months leading up to my betrayal at these classes, at these workshops, pushing myself, going to these events alone.

The people that I met ended up playing huge roles in my betrayal journey that I had no idea about. Like one was a volunteer organization that I started to volunteer with. And after the betrayal, like they became like such a key pillar. They were introduced me to so many like minded people.

It was just like this great healing sanctuary where I could just be myself and have my own hobby. And none of it reminded me of my ex, which was amazing. I also met like all these healing practitioners and people who specialize in nervous system regulation, which is what I specialize in now. But they taught me all these things and then after the betrayal I was like, oh my gosh that's why I was meant to meet you because they became these pivotal creatures, not creatures. They became these pivotal people in my life. But again, I had no idea at the time because you can't connect the dots in the moment, and you can only connect them when you're looking back at it.

Also getting laid off. It gave me the time to focus on my relationship, which is essentially how I caught him cheating. 'cause I wasn't stressed and overwhelmed with work 24 7. Ironically, him and I were both laid off within a week of each other. We both worked at startups, which is so crazy. So we had a lot of free time at home to spend together, and that's when my gut intuition started

screaming at me to the point that I ended up in the emergency room for an ovarian cys rupture from stress and second guessing myself. Had I never got laid off, I would've never met the people who became key healing parts. I would've never learned the tools of nervous system regulation. I would've never been learning about trauma.

I would've never had the time and attention to notice what was going on in my relationship. All because I was laid off, all because I was rejected. Rejection is redirection and it led me to where I am now. So let's take it even a step further. Had I never lost the relationship and been essentially rejected and redirected, I would've never become the woman I am today.

I'd still be in a relationship with a man that was never meant to be my forever. I'd still be in a relationship with a man who is lying and deceiving me. I wouldn't have learned how to fucking love myself and stop changing myself for the approval of men. I would've never created new friendships with the women

who helped inspire me to share my story and create this platform. I would've never learned these healing modalities that I now get to teach my clients with this entire platform wouldn't exist, and there wouldn't be 70,000 women following me because they've gone through the same bullshit. None of this would exist had I not been rejected and redirected.

When I went through the breakup, I also lost my dog, so I started going on Rover, which is if you live in America, it's essentially like a dog walking and dog seating apps. I was like, I just need dogs in my life. I miss my dog. And so I started to do that to make money and spend time with dogs, and I ended up meeting new friends and people who inspired me to solo travel and which ultimately helped me like find more my purpose and my soul's calling and helped me start this platform.

When I lost my apartment, I found a new apartment six weeks later after couch surfing with friends that was in such a better location. I met friends who lived nearby, who introduced me to a completely new group of friends who felt so aligned with what I was getting into, like breath work, meditation, spirituality, all that.

And they were all single instead of them all being in relationships like all my other friends were. And this was like a new friend group where I could completely start over and be whoever the fuck I wanted to be. 'cause none of them knew me, none of them knew my ex. It was just so free and expansive and I would've never met those people had, I never moved into that new apartment.

But while I was going through all this, I was like, fuck, life sucks. It is so shitty. I'm in so much pain. I'm having daily panic attacks. I am dealing with PTSD. I can't stop thinking about him. I'm missing the relationship. I feel like I'm so behind in life. I am anxious. I'm waking up with nightmares, like I'm literally sweating in the middle of the night, have nightmares. it was so hard when I was going through this

it didn't feel good. I wasn't able to see that all these people, opportunities in places that were coming into my life were actually meant to help me move forward and that these people would be pivotal characters in my journey, I had no idea because again, we can't connect the dots until we look backwards and be like, oh, that's why I had to go through all that to meet that person or to have that door opportunity open, or whatever it may be.

So those are quite large things. Losing a job, big relationship, ending big. But let's even think about it on a smaller scale. 'cause every single time you are being rejected that is God and the universe preparing you for something better. It's protecting and guiding you. So even in those small micro moments throughout the day, they're always guiding and protecting us even when it may not feel like it because it's not the outcome we wanted.

So I'll talk about another like small micro moment that completely changed the trajectory of my life. So for example, I went on a few dates with a guy over a year and a half ago when I was solo traveling in Bali for the first time. We hit things off. I was really interested in him. I was like, wow, this is great.

I feel myself emotionally connecting with the man. This is great. Things started off good, but as time went on, I realized he really wasn't the right person for me. But I still went with it because I liked getting to connect with the man and I wanted to try to make it work. I was like, oh, you know, maybe I'm being too picky.

Maybe I'm self-sabotaging. Like he's the best guy that like I've met out of, definitely like better than my last ex. So like I'll just go with it. I was settling. I was settling for breadcrumbs. So even though my intuition was telling me not to, I was like, oh, you know, like I can make this work. Ugh.

So essentially one day he said he'd text me tomorrow to make plans with me for during the day. So the day comes by, I hear nothing from him. The morning goes, the afternoon goes, and I'm getting annoyed. I was planning my day around him so that I could be available for him, and he just never reached out.

And later that night there was a woman's circle at a yoga studio, which I love to go to every other week, but I was gonna skip it that week in hopes that he would reach out to me because I wanted to see him, even though he's blowing me off all day. I was like, you know what I will bend it over backwards for this man

'cause I just wanna see him. I just wanted that validation. I wanted him to reach out to me and I felt rejected and I started second guessing my worth and being like, oh, like, you know, maybe something came up, maybe emergency came up, maybe I should text him. Making up excuses to be like, oh,

maybe I should reach out. But I didn't, and I'm so thankful I didn't. So anyways, he doesn't text me. I'm like, fuck it, I'm gonna go to this woman's circle and I end up making the most amazing connection with two women there. We go out to eat after. It feels like such a strong connection.

We all bond over our failed. I was gonna say failed relationship, but it's not fucking failed. We all bonded over choosing to end our relationships. 'cause it wasn't best for us and we ended up going out for drinks after we ended up going out to live music. We just didn't want the night to end.

We just kept talking and talking and talking and it felt so good. Turns out one of these women I met literally changed the entire trajectory of my life. She was a content creator who lives in Toronto and she speaks up about leaving her engagement and now she decenters men and is living her best single life and inspires other women to do the same.

And she really focuses on the importance of women friendships. So I tell her my story and what I was going through, and she was like, amping me the fuck up. And she's like, you need to start sharing your story. So many women are gonna connect with us. I was like, oh, I don't know. I was so on the fence.

I didn't feel comfortable sharing my story yet, but after seeing her I was like, you know what? I can do this. I'm gonna share my story. It just inspired me so much. So I go home, I start sharing my story on Instagram. I start my podcast, I start sharing my story on TikTok, and literally none of this platform wouldn't exist if it wasn't for her.

Her Instagram and TikTok, by the way, is ChloBow, C-H-L-O-B-O-W. And I highly recommend following her, still to this day, were extremely close friends. I fucking love her, that she's amazing. And meeting her is what helped me realize how important it's to prioritizing women friendships, which is a huge part of my story now, and it's a huge thing that I also preach is the importance of women friendships.

So that was about a year and a half ago. Fast forward to months ago, we're in Bali again a second time, and we're both traveling alone and we ended up sharing a room together for a week, even being with her. Then she amped me the fuck up so much and helped me stop watering down my message so much.

So I always think back to that like, would this podcast and platform even exist? Had that man never ghosted me and I skipped that woman's group and didn't get to meet Chloe. I don't know. Like had I never met her, would I stop dating and would I have met all the other amazing women who quite literally changed my life in other own ways?

I don't know. I never dated again after that last date went and after I met Chloe. And that created so much time and space for me to focus on women friendships, focus on my mental health, focus on my physical health, and stop seeking men for validations. And literally what helped me go on this journey of being like, I need to learn how to fucking love myself without the validation of a man.

And so I don't know what my life would've looked like had I never experienced a rejection from that man. I would've never been redirected to these women friendships. And at that time when that guy was ghosting me, I felt so rejected. I felt so worthless. I was like, fuck,

but there was literally a catalyst for my life, and it was such a small little thing that I would've never thought, like during that day. That this is what my life would now lead to because of that. And there's so many of these like micro, small moments throughout my healing journey where I look back and I'm like, oh my God, I would have never gone to that event or never gone to that class or met that person or put myself out there.

Had I been rejected by something earlier in the day. And I would've never known what my life would've looked like if I wasn't rejected by my ex either. Now I get to live my fucking dream. I moved outta Los Angeles, sold everything I own to become a digital nomad. I started two businesses to help me work remotely so that I could start to travel and be a digital nomad.

I've traveled alone to six countries and each of those countries introduced me to more and more women friendships that were pivotal in my healing journey. 'cause I was like, I'm not gonna focus on dating. I'm just gonna focus on women friendships, and it has been so fucking healing. . And even looking at the whole trauma standpoint and everything like trauma was so overwhelming.

I was diagnosed with PTSD. I had daily panic attacks. I felt physically unsafe around men. I hated myself and my body.

My confidence was solo low. My self-esteem was solo. I felt like I needed to go on dates to make myself feel better and to try to get over him, which is like literally the worst fucking way you can try to heal.

It's just gonna backfire on you. And I would've never learned how to take my power back. I would've never learned how to express my fucking voice like this. I would've never learned how to share my story on social media. I would've never tapped into my power of writing. I love writing and I love poetry.

None of that would have ever happened. I would've never learned, the importance of healing, the importance of healing generational trauma, and women leaving relationships when they saw their mother or their grandmother, or their great-grandma stay in these shitty relationships.

If you just left your relationship, you were probably the first woman in your entire ancestral lineage. Who left, and that's so powerful there comes so much shedding and so much just growth with that, and it's fucking hard. I would've never learned the importance of nervous system regulation, and I would've never strengthened relationship with friends and family.

And I created all these new, amazing friendships. I had to lose a lot, and it was painful and it was messy, and there were days I couldn't stop crying. I just wanted my old life. When I say all this, I talk about all the good that there was, but you didn't see what was going on behind the scenes.



In the moment, things didn't feel good. In the moment things felt shitty in the moment, it was like a death portal. Everything around me was dying. I had to step outta my comfort zone so much. I felt overwhelming at times. But then you look back and you're like, oh my God, I had to go through that to become who I am.

And that is the beauty of healing. That is the beauty of leaving that relationship. 'cause you're like, oh my gosh. Yes, I love that version of me and who I was when I was with him, but this new version that you become, it's like, holy fuck, this is amazing.

And you're in this in-between phase, you've outgrown that life. You've outgrown the relationship with him. You've outgrown that version of who you were with him, but you haven't quite created your new life, and that is where rejection becomes redirection. This is quite literally, God in you is redirecting you to where you're meant to go, to where your soul is meant to be, to what lights you up, to what makes you feel happy, fulfilled, confident, excited, not what makes you feel insecure and small and weak, and second guessing yourself, like that's not who the fuck you were made to be, and that's not who the fuck God and the universe want you to be. They want you to feel strong, brave, courageous, resourceful, intelligent, capable, strong, beautiful, amazing.

Those are all the things you are. And I'm a firm believer that all those micro moments of rejection are just redirecting you to where you're supposed to be. And when we're in that pain, the confusion, the sadness, the shock, it's so fucking hard to see what's on the other side because we're not able to see the dots connect until we look back and go, oh, when that guy didn't text me, it was actually led me to go to this woman's event.

And that led me new friends, or, oh, when I didn't get that job I wanted, it's actually because there was another job or I wasn't supposed to be working in that industry anymore. Sometimes you don't get what you wanted because you deserve more and something better is on its way for you.

And if you're listening to this, I know you're a woman who wants more outta life. I know you crave more. I know you don't wanna settle in your life, your relationship, your career, your friendships, and that's because God and the universe don't want you fucking settling either they have a plan that's bigger than what you can see.

You are focused on the first step. You can only see what you're seeing on a day-to-day basis, but they already know the next 20 steps and where they want you to get to. Big term, they think big picture. We just see the small. Moment in time where we can't even picture where we're gonna be five, 10 years from now.

But God and the universe, they want you to be fucking fulfilled and happy and confident, and if you trust, if you surrender, if you are willing to let go of all these things that are holding you back, all these things that are making you feel shitty all these times when your intuition is like, oh, this doesn't feel right, and be like, okay, you're right.

I'm going to listen to that. There's so much more on the other side of this. So trust that anytime you're rejected, no matter how many small moments it is through the day, you just don't know what you're being protected from. You don't know where that is bringing you. You don't know what friend, what opportunity, what network, what door.

You never know what's going to open by you being rejected and you having to slightly pivot somewhere else. You have no fucking idea, but the universe is expansive and there's so much happiness when you just surrender and trust and talk to the universe like where am I meant to be? Who am I meant to be?

What are you trying to teach me? What am I meant to learn and how can I overcome this and how can I co-create with you?



And if you want a little homework assignment today. Take some time to journal lights and Palo Santo light a candle. Do whatever works for you in this journal. Think back of your entire, entire life of all these small micro moments or these big macro moments where you were rejected and you didn't get what you want at the time, but something else turned up and you're like, oh, had I not been rejected, then I would've never found this other opportunity.

And start to train your brain to think of that in these daily moments. When something isn't going your way, when you're pushing, when you're forcing for an outcome to happen, but the universe goes like, no, like that's not where you're supposed to go. But you keep forcing and pushing. Think back like, okay, where am I being re redirected to instead?

So look back at your life. Think of all the times where you had been rejected, where it brought you, and now start thinking like, okay, well where's this rejection bringing me? What would I love to create? If someone waved a magic law W and I was like, you're healed.

What would that life look like ? And this goes back to the outrageous list that I talked on previous episode two. , If you were absolutely limitless, what would your life look like? And read that every single day.

Of course. No, not just that is going to heal you. I don't want someone to see that and like, oh, if I just read this, it's going to human afraid. No, there's so much more to do than that, but it's just a little piece of a homework for you to do.

And if you're listening to this, you're like, fuck yes. I'm ready to move forward. I'm ready to work through this pain. I'm ready to try Alternative ways to healing.

So that this pain doesn't keep flowing into other areas of my life, like my career, my friendships, my family, my coworkers, my creative outlets.

When you're ready to fucking take your power back from all that, I would love to work with you.

I have a link in my bio for my four month coaching application.

And it's really meant for those women who are ready to do like this high touch transformational journey where we're meeting once a week and you also have access to me Monday through Friday. So you can ask me any question. So if you need support, if you need advice like. I want this to be a real time transformation for you because I know how much can change day over day when healing betrayal.

One day you can feel fucking great the next, you're like, oh my gosh, I'm crying in the bathroom floor. I can't get up. Everything feels so painful. I can't breathe. I feel so suffocated. What am I doing with my life? Where am I supposed to go? I get it. I've been there. Oh gosh, it fucking sucks. But it's totally possible to heal and work through that.



All right,

that's it. I've rambled enough for today. Reminder that you are fucking strong. Badass, capable, creative, resilient, beautiful, sexy, powerful, imaginative. You are such a fucking goddess that was put here on earth and the universe, and God want you to be happy and confident and to feel all those amazing things.

And you deserve to only put yourself in relationships and jobs and opportunities and situations that make you feel good about yourself. That's what you deserve and that's what you get. Alright, thank you so much for listening. Tune in next week. Bye.