WTF Do I Do Now?

43. Your Thoughts Create Your Reality

• Mandy | Betrayal, Break Up & Empowerment Life Coach • Episode 43

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 Hi everyone, and welcome back to another episode of What the Fuck Do I Do Now? A safe space where we talk about all things healing and empowerment after their cheating porn use and betrayal trauma to remind you it's not your fault in hearing is absolutely possible. I'm your host Mandy, a certified woman's empowerment life coach, trauma-informed relationship coach, meditation teacher, and trauma-informed breathwork teacher.



 Okay. Okay. Okay. Welcome back to another episode. What the fuck do I do now? I am so excited to be here. Honestly, I'm excited for literally every single podcast episode, but I haven't filmed or record filmed, recorded, whatever. I haven't recorded one in two weeks, and I have just been having so much fun

inside my new membership called What the Fuck You Do Now, specifically for women who left . And I cannot describe the energy in that membership the woman in this membership. If you're listening and if you are in it, I love you so damn much. There are truly no words to describe how inspiring and motivating these women are despite all the fucking shit they have been through, and the betrayal, and the pain, and the grief, and the anger, and the sadness.

All of it and just like I have never, ever seen a space where they're just so encouraging and motivating and supportive to one another, and they're cheering each other the fuck on, and they're also holding space for when the sadness and this grief and this anger comes in.



And within the first week of joining a woman in our group said, I'm gonna read the screenshot. I always take screenshots of positive things that happen because it just energizes me. She said, I'm crying happy tears for being seen more by strangers I just met than my husband of nine years.

Thank you guys. It is so power to see how much healing can come together when women come together and you have the resources and the coaching and the support. Like this membership isn't just a place where women vent, where women talk. There's daily techniques, daily strategies on what to do to overcome each part of the healing journey.

No matter where you're at, whether you left six months ago, whether you left two months ago, whether you met a year ago, all the content in the videos and the worksheets that I've already created in there for you are designed to meet you exactly where you're at, and that's what helps make this so fucking powerful,

and on the first day of joining, another woman said. Let me read it. I'm also so insanely proud of myself. I'm so insanely grateful. I have found the support group. I have found, Mandy. We all know how isolating this issue is. I feel so safe being here and I finally feel like I belong. Ah, well done to all of us for standing up, not taking any more narcissistic bullshit from below average men and being good people. This energy excites me so much to have a group of women who want to heal, who want to change, who are done with just this patriarchal bullshit of

telling you that you need to remain small and insecure after going through this relationship. There's so much power in leaving this relationship. I'm so proud of women seeing them walk away is truly this shit energizes me so, so, so much. And I don't have a script today, so I just went off on a tangent before we dive into the episode.

But if you're interested in joining the membership, there's a discount on it for the next 48 hours, which now that I say this all out loud, this podcast will probably be, I'll probably edit after that's already done. So if you're listening to this podcast and you're like, I'm interested, I wanna join it and I still want to get the discount, just message me on Instagram.

Message me on TikTok. My handle is at wtf do I do now coaching? Just say I listen to your podcast. I want the discount, and I will still honor that discount for you. It's for $200 off and if you just wanna chat to see if this membership is the right fit for you, I will be so fucking honest.

This membership is my soul. This membership is everything I have put into it. And it's not gonna be right fit for everyone. And I'm going to be very honest with you if it's not the right fit for you, because I want this to be such a tight knit, motivating, inspiring, empowering community for women to be in.

If you wanna chat say is this right for me? We'll talk through it and I will give you my honest feedback because I wanna make sure it is a safe, supportive community for women and it's for the women who are ready to do the work and the women who are ready to heal and

women who are ready to make a difference in their life. So. That was that. It was such a tangent. Oh my gosh. I can feel the energy, the fire in my body. Let's dive into the episode. I don't have a script today, but what I think I want us to talk about, I want to talk about the power of your thoughts and how your thoughts create your reality especially going through this healing journey.

And if you know me, if you listen to my content, like yes, mindset work is such an important part of healing journey. However, nervous system regulation and the body based approaches for healing needs to come first before you do mindset work. So while yes, today I'm going to be talking about mindset work.

You need to be doing the nervous system regulation techniques and tools and basically, your nervous system controls, your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions. So think of every thought, every feeling, every emotion that you're experiencing after betrayal. That's a direct reflect of where your nervous system is at.

So if you wanna go change your thoughts. If you wanna be like, you know what, this betrayal was the best thing to have me. I'm better without him. He doesn't deserve me. I'm worthy of love. I'm worthy of respect. There are men out there who don't cheat. There are men out there who don't watch porn. He wasn't my person.

If you want to have those thoughts and genuinely believe them, and if you wanna look in the mirror and be like, I love myself, instead of criticizing your body. If you genuinely wanna have those thoughts and truly actually believe them, not just have this like delusional thinking, you need to start with your nervous system first.

You can look in the mirror and be like, I'm beautiful. I am sexy. . I love my body. I am worthy of love. I am an amazing person. You can look in the mirror and tell yourself all those affirmations every single day, but if your nervous system is dysregulated, if your thoughts, feelings, and emotions, if you're feeling stressed, if you're anxious, if you're overwhelmed, if you are triggered. Your body, you are not going to believe

any of those affirmations that you're telling yourself, you're not gonna have these mindset changes. You're not gonna view the world differently. You have to focus on nervous system regulation. And again, that's why I created my membership. What the fuck you do now is to teach you those daily tools. So every morning when you wake up, you know exactly what to do.

Every time you feel triggered, every time you feel stressed, every time you feel overwhelmed, every time you're overthinking, you have the exact nervous system regulation techniques to calm your body. So then you will start thinking and feeling differently. It's equivalent to say a toddler was throwing a temper tantrum because, let me think of some random scenario, because their lollipop just fell on the ground and they're crying and they're screaming.

They're like, my lollipop, my loll, but I want it, but it's dirty. . I want it. And you go to the kid and you're like, it's okay. We can get you a new lollipop. But they're like no. I want this one. I want this one. And they're just being so irrational. Their emotions have taken over the situation.

That's the same thing of what I mean by like first you have to calm your body and then you can do the mindset work. If you go to this toddler and you're like, here, just have this new lollipop. They're like, no, I want that lollipop, and they're not going to listen to you and they're not thinking rationally because their nervous system has taken over.

But instead, if you were to teach this child how to calm down, you're like, okay, let's take some slow breaths. Let's do these techniques. Let's help your body relax and calm down. And then you give them a new lollipop, they're gonna be like, oh wow. Thanks so much. I have new lollipop.

They're going to approach the situation in such a different way. And that's the same for you when you're healing betrayal, and when you're having these thoughts of, I'm not good enough. All men cheat. All men lunch porn. I'm going to be alone. I'm too old to start over. I miss my window of being a mom.

Whenever you're having these thoughts or these triggers, these overwhelmingness, anxiousness, you need to teach your body first, how to calm down with nervous system regulation. That's what I dive into in my entire membership. There's literally over 30 tools and techniques to teach you so that you can take that power back in your day and instead of having all these mindsets

derail you, and all these triggers derail you and all this overthinking derail you. Okay, so that being said, now let's dive into the power of mindset work after you already have these tools and techniques to calm and regulate your nervous system. So on average, the average human, on average, the average human has around 70,000 thoughts per day.

That's fucking insane. You have on average 70,000 thoughts per day.

And out of all of those 70,000 thoughts you have, around 80% of those thoughts are negative. That's a lot of fucking thoughts. Around 80% of those thoughts are negative.

And then let's take it a step further. Of these 80,000 thoughts you're having, approximately 90 to 95% of our daily thoughts are repetitive. So we're having around 70,000 thoughts per day. Around 80% of those are negative, and around 90 to 95% of those are repetitive. So all day, every day, you're basically having these shitty thoughts about yourself, about the way you view the world, just these negative thoughts.

And when we're having negative thoughts. Or positive thoughts. The power of our thoughts is that they directly create your emotions. Your thoughts are creating your emotions. So a lot of times you don't even realize that the reason right now you're crying is because you were just having thoughts of, oh, I'm gonna be alone forever.

Or, oh, I just miss my window of being a mom. Or, oh, it's too late to start over, or, oh, I'm never gonna find love again. Oh, I'm gonna be alone forever. And now you created those thoughts, which have now created your emotions. When you're having negative thoughts, there's literally a chemical reaction going on in your brain, so it creates adrenaline, it creates cortisol, which is the stress hormone , so it's literally, your thoughts are making you fucking stressed.

Then on the other hand, when you're having these positive thoughts. I'm so thankful he's no longer in my life because now I get to create a new life chapter or I'm so thankful he's no longer in my life because now I get to call in a partner who actually respects me and is honest and I can create and go and be a great mother or have the my amazing life with him

or any other type of positive thought so on the other hand, when you're having these positive thoughts, instead of negative thoughts your brain is releasing these feel good chemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins, which literally makes you feel good.

So when I say your thoughts create your reality, they quite literally do because your thoughts also create your emotions. So when you're having those negative thoughts, you're having adrenaline and cortisol, which make you feel bad. It's literally a chemical reaction going on in your body. But when you're having these positive thoughts, it's having positive chemical reactions go off in your body, which is dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins.

So the power of doing mindset work is you're also creating a whole new fucking reality for yourself.

So these thoughts create your emotions and these emotions, and these thoughts become your reality. One of the biggest way I see women self-sabotage themself on this healing journey is they have this mindset of every man cheats. Every man watches porn. You are literally self-sabotaging yourself to create this reality that. You know what? I'm gonna stay in this painful relationship because almond cheat, because almond much porn.

If that's the reality that you want to believe, you're going to create that reality for yourself. And by believing that you have now created a reality for yourself where Al men cheat. Where almond much porn, and now you're going to stay with a man who does this and you're going to continue to get betrayed over and over again, and your self-confidence is gonna go away, and it's just a spiral effect.

And I am not saying that to talk down on women who stay in relationships. It just does not go with my morals and my values to encourage women to stay in relationships with men who are clearly disrespecting you,

I believe that there is such a better world in life out there for women because I have experienced it myself, because I've seen it happen with my clients. And so my perspective is why would you stay in that when there's a better world that exists? I believe women deserve so much better, and I believe that the infidelity industry has a lot of patriarchal conditioning in it where it tells women to stay, where it tells women like, oh, you need to set better boundaries.

Oh, you need to communicate better, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. As if the relationship. Self wasn't a fucking boundary to not cheat and to not lie, I don't wanna have to teach a grown ass adult man how to treat me, how to have empathy, how to have respect, how to not cheat, how to not lie. That's not my fucking job.

I want a partner who has already done the work.

Oops. My alarm for my sweet potatoes coming outta the oven. I want a partner who has already done the work and I want amazing human who respects women, who respects me, who I don't have to tell them to not lie and cheat. That's the life I want, and that's the reality I'm going to create for myself because that's what I am choosing to believe.

Okay, hold on. I have to go take my sweet potatoes out the oven. Okay, I am back. Got the food out. Unfortunately, I don't really remember what I was saying. The pros and cons of not scripting out my podcast, but I just feel like I drop more truth bombs when I am just speaking directly from the heart and not having to read something.

Okay. What else do I want to say?

One of the most powerful things you can do on this healing journey, , you're doing the nervous system regulation techniques to help calm your body from the overthinking, the anxiety, the insecurity, the spiraling, all that yada, yada. So now second is doing this mindset work and one of the most powerful things you can do, which is so simple, it's so free and it's probably the hardest thing you'll do, but it's the easiest thing you'll do, if that makes sense, is learning to meditate.

And just sitting with your thoughts and not running away from your thoughts is sitting with your thoughts to see like when that inner critic, that voice inside you. We all have this voice inside our mind that is just fucking chatting talking all day. And again and a lot of those are negative thoughts and a lot of those are repetitive thoughts.

And there's. Literally thousands and thousands of thoughts that we have a day. One of the most powerful things you can do is becoming aware of those thoughts so that you can start to refrain 'em so that you can start to do this mindset work like you are the master, you are the creator of your reality.

Whatever the fuck you believe to come true is going to come true. And I know that might sound a little delusional. But it's true. If you are going to look at this healing journey or if you are going to betraying, that was the worst fucking thing that ever happen to me in life. My life is over. I'm too old to start over.

I'm never gonna be happy again. He's gonna move on and be happy without me, and I'm just gonna sit here and be lonely and miserable. Yeah, you are right. You are going to create a reality that mimics that you're not going to put in the daily work every single fucking day to heal and to show up for yourself and to love yourself and work on your self worth, and work on your self confidence and start to look at the world differently.

You're not gonna put in that work 'cause you're not going to believe that it's possible because you created this reality for yourself. This is the worst thing that happens to you. Nothing good's gonna come out of it. You're gonna be lonely forever. It's too late for you to start over and you're gonna create that reality for yourself and you're gonna stay in the same self-destructive behaviors and thoughts over and over again.

And a reason you're stuck in that is again, because you're not doing anything to regulate your nervous system. Talk to any trauma specialist. That's the number one thing you have to do to overcome this journey. But on the other hand, let's say you're doing this nervous system regulation work and you're training your mind to be like, you know what, no.

Yes, what I went through was fucking painful, but something good's gonna come out of it. I'm gonna turn this in to be the best thing in my life. I'm going to now attract a partner who is aligned with my values, my characteristic, my personality, who will love me, and I'm going to have an amazing life with him.

But first, I'm going to love myself. I'm going to rebuild my self-confidence. I'm going to rebuild my self-worth. I'm going to be with a man who does not cheat, who does not watch porn, who I can trust 100%. All the time who isn't sketchy with this phone, I'm going to create these strong female friendships, these strong friendships with women who are so, so aligned, who light me up, who support me, who encourage me, who motivate me, and I'm going to go create hobbies and activities that also light me up.

So I'm creating this whole new life that I never had with this person. If you start to think that way, you're going to create that reality for yourself. So really you get to choose what life you want. Do you want to believe that this is the worst thing that happened to you and that

nothing that's gonna come from it and you're gonna be lonely forever and you're too late to start over. Or do you want this life where you know what? Yeah, that fucking sucked that I went through it and it sucks that I had to go through it, but I'm going to go create this new life and this new world for me

that makes me happy, that makes me confident so that I look back on this and I'm thankful that I went through this. That is the mindset work you have to do to overcome this. You are either going to be your biggest critic. Where you're going to be your biggest cheerleader, and so a homework assignment I'm going to give you is for the next week.

Or no, let's even do less for the next 48 hours. I want you to keep a note on your phone, on the note section, on your phone, and I want you to write down every single thought that's negative, and you are gonna be shocked at how many negative thoughts come up and how fucking evil and demonic and self-sabotaging they are to have these thoughts about yourself.

And I want you to write down every single thought. Negative thought about you, about life, about what happened, about your job, about where you live, literally, about anything that is negative. Even if you think it's true, but it has a negative connotation to it, I want you to write it down. And after 48 hours, I want you to look at yourself in the mirror and read back that list to you.

Say it out loud. It is the most cruel shit you will ever say to yourself, but seeing yourself, looking at yourself in the mirror saying out loud is you're going to be like, damn, I'm, I am in such a negative mindset right now.

And then take it one step further. I want you to go say those thoughts to a friend. Say those thoughts to a family member. Say those thoughts to someone in your life. Everything you're saying about yourself, everything you believe in about yourself, every self limited thought you're having,

that's creating this warped perception, this warped reality.

And I swear, I bet 99.9% of you won't do that because the thoughts that you're having are so fucking mean and so cruel, and that right there should be your wake up call that you need to speak kinder to yourself. If you can't imagine yourself saying that to your friend, to your daughter, to your parents, to your siblings, to whoever, your coworker, to whoever is in your life, then why are you saying it about yourself? Seriously. You need to give yourself more credit. You're going to be your biggest cheerleader or your biggest bully, and you get to decide that you can't control mostly anything that happens to you in your life, you can't control if someone comes and hits you with their car.

You can't control if someone comes and robs you. You can't control if you get laid off at work. There are literally so many things you can't control, but the one thing you can control is your thoughts and how you speak about yourself and how you think about yourself in this reality, in this new world that you create for yourself.

And then when you have that list, going back to this list, when you have that list of all the negative thoughts you had about yourself, about life, about your job, about your looks, about your situation, whatever, when you look at that list of all those thoughts, I want you to rewrite that with a positive thought.

And now every time you notice yourself having that negative thought, go back to what that positive thought is and say it over and over and over again to start to create these new neuro pathways in your brain to be like. To have a negative thought and follow it up with a positive start thought to start to reframe that mindset.

And it's going to take a lot of work because also, in the beginning, you're not even gonna be aware you're having these thoughts until your brain is spiraling and you're like, wow, this voice in my head has been talking to me for so long. How the fuck do I make it shut up?

And when you're having these thoughts, when you're having this inner chatter constantly talking to yourself, I want you to imagine as if that was a real person who was just following you around day to day, from your room, to your job, to your work. Like just who was sitting next to you all day just saying these thoughts, it would get so fucking annoying you.

They shut the fuck up. . There's this person always talk to me and saying these negative thoughts, you would never wanna spend time around this person. You would never wanna listen to this person 'cause they make you feel so bad about yourself.

But instead, this is what you're doing to yourself. You are inherently making yourself feel bad. And we need to cut that shit like, again. You cannot control most things in your life, but you can control your thoughts. You can control the way you perceive the world. You can control your reality of how you view the world.

No, you can't control when bad things do or don't happen, but you can control your response and how you show up to it.

And again, I wanna make this crystal clear throughout this episode. You force me to do this nervous system regulation to help your body calm down and to feel safe, and to feel relaxed, so that you can then change the way you view the reality. And that's why I made it such a pivotal part of my membership is all these tools to help you calm and regulate and stop the overwhelming thoughts and stop the overthinking so that you can then change your mindset to have this more optimistic, abundant view of life instead of having this negative, pessimistic view on life.

One of the wildest things I did during my healing journey is I went on a five day meditation retreat. I am a meditation teacher. Meditating is what helped me learn how to control the thoughts in my head. It helped me learn that like we are not our thoughts, we are not our emotions. There is just this voice in our head, and we have the power to become aware of it, to become unattached to it, and not let these thoughts control our day and not let these thoughts have power over us.

So I went on a five day meditation retreat where you couldn't talk, you didn't have phones, you couldn't read, you couldn't make eye contact with people. You were eating the same meal. The same bland meal every single day. We didn't have air conditioning and it was like 90 degrees.

This was in Bali.

And so I couldn't make eye contact with people. I couldn't smile. I couldn't talk for five days. For five days. I was just stuck with my thoughts, and that is when I was like, holy shit, we can be our biggest bully, or we can be our biggest cheerleader, and I am my biggest bully. The thoughts I were having, this was after betrayal.

The thoughts I were having was all about him. It was about how I'm so unlovable to how I'm so unworthy, how I'm never gonna have love, how I'm never going to be a mother, how I feel like I'm too old to start over. How I feel like a failure, how I'm so embarrassed, how the pain he's caused me, everything he did to me, how dare he this, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And it was on day three that I just broke into tears. I remember I walked into the room I was staying . I had been sweating all day 'cause there's no air conditioning. I haven't talked in three days. I haven't made eye contact with the person. I felt so lonely. All the thoughts, all I could not stop crying.

Everything just felt so overwhelming. And I remember I just fell, literally fell on the ground and was like, ah.

I can't fucking do this anymore. And it was my biggest breakthrough for the next two days. Every time I had a negative thought, I just followed it up with a positive thought and it was hard. And it's not like that something, and it's not like in those two days I just started to believe those thoughts.

But every single day I wrote down what the thoughts were and every single day I worked on it. And that is what healing is like. You are going to have to try new things. You're gonna have to change your outlook on life. If you want something new, you going to have, do something you've never done before.

And yeah, it's hard. And I'm not trying to be like, you have to do this, you have to do that. You're doing this wrong, you're doing this wrong, you're not doing anything wrong. Everything you're going through is so fucking valid. All the pain, all of it is so valid. None of this is your fault, but I do want to inspire you , to take control of your life and be like, you know what?

I have all the fucking power to change the situation. You are not hopeless in this. You are not going to feel this way forever. But that does mean you have to be the one to take control and change things to think differently, to do new techniques, to get new help to. Change your lifestyle, your routine, you're going to have to show up day after day to pick yourself up again.

And that's why I created my membership. What the fuck you do now? Because when I was going through this, it was so fucking lonely. When I was going through this, there wasn't anyone speaking up about who had left the relationship and thrived and was happy and chose to be single and created fulfilling life on their own.

There was no one doing this. I didn't have any roadmap that someone has done this before and it was so fucking lonely. It was so isolating. Everyone who's speaking up about it was like, oh I forgave him. I stayed with him, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, that's not what I wanna do.



There was no one guiding and showing me the path of how to rebuild your life on how to be single and how to create a fulfilling life. There was no one doing that, and that's why I wanna create this membership. So one, we're gonna get the coaching and the support and the direct advice from me, but two, you also have a community of other women doing this.

So it's motivating and it's inspiring.

When I say I put my heart and soul into this, I did because it's everything that I wanted. It was everything that I needed when I was going through this. And so I learned the tools, I did the trainings, I made the mindset changes. I changed my relationship with my body. I changed the relationship with how I view the world and how I view men

and I did all that so that I can now. Guide women who are being like, what the fuck do I do? Because yeah, you're right. It is overwhelming. So I'm not trying to say here and be like, oh, you're doing things wrong. No, absolutely. Fucking not. But I do want you to know there's so much hope and life can get so, so, so, so much better.

But you have to focus on nervous system regulation and how to calm your body so that you can do this mindset work to change your world, to change the way you view this whole situation. If you would've told me. Two years ago that I would look back on the cheating and his betrayal and say that I'm thankful

for what he put me through. I beg. There's no fucking way. This is the worst thing that ever happened to me. I fucking hate men. I hate love. I hate relationships. I just hate anyone who tells me to be positive right now. But now where I am, like, hell yeah.

That was the hands down best thing to ever happen to me. 'cause it changed my entire life. It changed my relationship with myself.

Like the life I have now just feels so much more in alignment and happy and confident and successful and fun and optimistic and abundant and grateful compared to life that I had with him. And I loved the life that I had with him when I was in it, but now I look back, I'm like, that's no fucking way of living.

Being in a relationship where you are. Sketched out on. So about someone being on their phone, being in a relationship where you don't know if they're telling the truth, but they look good on pen and paper. It's yeah, this is fine. Being in a relationship where you're staying because the fear of starting alone or the fear of being like, what if I don't find better?

That's fucking hell. That's personal torture. That is literally my idea of personal hell now, like having to monitor someone's phone. Are you fucking kidding me having to monitor a grown man's phone? No. Oh hell no. Hell no. That is. Poetry. That is my personal health, and I will never settle. I will never do anything like that again.

Not that I even had to monitor his phone, but there was always just something off. I just, my body felt that there was something off when it came to his phone. But I didn't know porn addiction existed. I didn't know sex addiction existed. I didn't know someone could betray you that way. So I didn't know to look up for it.

But now that you will always know.

But you do need to make sure that you're working on yourself to change your mindset so that when someone is disrespecting you again, you don't give him another chance. . So that you're not making up excuses for his childhood or his attachment style or whatever it may be.

You will always find reasons to make up excuses for some shitty behavior. That's why you need to do the inner healing work to love and respect and value yourself so damn much that you can be like, yeah, I'm sorry that you had that as a childhood. I'm sorry that's your attachment style. I'm sorry, blah, blah, blah.

But I don't deserve that disrespect and I'm not gonna tolerate that because I value and love and respect myself so damn much. That is the power of healing. I see so many women who just have so much empathy for these men of oh, he went through this as a child and now he's fucking traumatizing you.

And you're making up excuse after excuse. You will always find an excuse for why someone's treating you the way that they are, but you have to be the one to draw the line in the sand, to put your foot down to be like, no, . I will not tolerate this. This is not the type of relationship and the love that I want.

And the way we get there is by doing this nervous system regulation techniques, the tools, the strategy, and by then changing your mindset so that you do call in a more healthy life for yourself off.

I feel like, I'm honestly just rambling right now. I don't remember what I was talking about anymore. And I hear my housemates downstairs cooking lunch, having fun, laughing, and I honestly wanna go join them. So I'm gonna wrap this up. If you take away anything from this episode, I want it to be that one.

Your thoughts create your emotions, which create your beliefs, which create your reality. You are either going to be your biggest inner critic, your biggest inner belief, or you are going to be your biggest cheerleader, and that is up for you to decide. You cannot control what happens to you in life, but you can control how you respond and how you show up to yourself.

That's what you have power over.

And for your homework, go write a list every time you have a negative thought about yourself for the next 48 hours, whether about work, where you live, your situation, anything, any negative thought, write it down. And then after 48 hours, go read 'em to yourself in the mirror and it's going to be heartbreaking.

And that's when you're gonna realize that you are being your biggest inner bully and you are bullying yourself. You are a critic to yourself, and then I want you to go through every thought and write that up with a positive thought. So now every time you have that negative thought, stop dead in your tracks.

Whether you're walking, not driving, but if you're walking, if you're thinking, if you're at work, and literally make yourself stop. And Nope. I had to follow this up with the other positive thought that I created for myself. And do that every single time, and it takes training. You are literally creating new neuro pathways for your brain, and that's not something that happens overnight.

Think of how long you've been having these thoughts. It could be weeks, months, years of your life. If that's not something that's gonna get better in a matter of days, keep showing up for yourself consistently. You have to become the love of your life and give yourself that love, that compassion, that grace, that support that you so deserve.

And if you're feeling alone, if you don't know where to start, if you feel like you're making progress in your healing journey, but you're like, I don't even know if I'm doing this right, . Come talk to me about the membership. What the fuck you do not. It was literally created for this exact reason, specifically for women who left the relationship.

And you want the tools, the strategies, the coaching, the community of women who are going through this. It is the most empowering, loving place I have ever seen. I'm, I've literally cried multiple times, tears of happiness. Going through the messages and talking with the women who are in this because it is such it I, the energy in this community.

I cannot describe it. Like these women are literally changing their lives and it is so powerful to see them showing up and to be there for one another and loving and supporting and encouraging one another. And sharing their raw, vulnerable feelings with one another. That takes so much bravery and courage to speak to other women about what you're going through.

But this community it's so safe because everyone can relate. Whatever you think you're going through, other women are going through too.

And there's a discount on it for the next 48 hours, which will be July 10th, 2025. But obviously by the time I edit this episode, it's already gonna be passed then. So if you want to learn more about it, if you want the discount code, just message me on Instagram or TikTok. My handle is at wtf. Do I do now coaching

and to say, Hey, listen to your podcast episode. Can I get the discount? Or if you wanna ask questions about it, again, I'm not gonna try to encourage you to enroll in it if I don't think it's a good fit for you. I love this community. I put my heart and soul into it. I want to be a tight, close-knit community of women.

So that real deep healing transformation takes place. I love this community. It is. Oh my, it is,

it is everything I wanted when I was going through it, so I'm going to make sure it stays as everything that women need as they go through their healing journey now too.

Or if you're like, I don't know if I'm ready to commit to a membership, I also have one-on-one support calls. There's a link in the show notes for that too. There's also a link in the show notes to access all the information on the membership as well.



And if anyone hasn't told you today, I am proud of you. I love you. You are so loved. You are worthy. You are worthy of everything your heart desires and you are going to get it because you are going to create your thoughts, which create your beliefs, which create your emotions, which create your reality.

You are the controller of that, and you are going to create this life. You are going to show up for yourself day after day. You are going to pick yourself up time and time again because you always have, look at everything bad you've gone through in your life. And you've gotten through it, you will get through this too.

You are worthy of such a beautiful, powerful, happy, peaceful life, and we're going to create that for you.

And after listening to this, go do something nice for yourself. Celebrate yourself, love yourself. Do something good for you. You are the love of your life. Start to treat yourself that way. Okay? I love you so much. Bye.