Episode 39 - Jacqui Crafter: Not TO, but FOR

What if everything that happens in your life isn't happening to you, but for you? This perspective-shifting conversation with Jackie explores how reframing our challenges can transform our entire experience of life.

Jackie's journey begins with a simple yet profound "aha moment" when she realized how certain relationships were depleting her energy. This awareness became the foundation for a life of conscious choices about where and with whom she invested her time and energy, a skill that would prove invaluable through the extraordinary challenges ahead.

At just 15 years old, Jackie became a mother in a small country town where judgments and limitations were quickly placed upon her. Rather than seeing this as a setback, she and her son "grew up together" in what she describes as a journey of mutual discovery rather than traditional parenting. This unconventional beginning fostered a beautiful mother-son relationship that would later help her navigate the devastating loss of her son when he was 34.

Through grief came unexpected awakening when Jackie discovered Reiki and energy work, practices that opened doorways to understanding that there was deeper meaning behind every experience in her life. "It was like remembering who I truly am and what I came here for," she explains. This spiritual journey expanded into explorations of bioenergetics and the science of how our emotional states affect our physical wellbeing.

Jackie's story exemplifies what it means to be an everyday warrior, someone who has faced numerous adversities including childhood trauma, teen motherhood, violent relationships and profound loss, yet has transformed each experience into an opportunity for growth and service to others. By choosing to see everything that happened "for her" rather than "to her," she created a life of purpose and meaning.

Ready to shift your own perspective? Subscribe now to hear more inspiring stories of everyday warriors who've turned their challenges into stepping stones toward a more authentic, purposeful life.

Connect with Jacqui on Facebook here

Learn more about Jacqui's energy offerings here

Chapters

• 0:00 Introducing Everyday Warriors
• 2:40 Jackie's Aha Moment
• 9:30 Being a Young Mother
• 14:30 Losing Her Son Steve
• 19:20 Discovering Reiki and Awakening
• 25:38 $10 Petrol and Universal Reciprocity
• 32:05 Playing with the Universe
• 38:00 Energy, Vibration and Choice

Transcript

Trudie Marie: 0:01

Welcome to the Everyday Warriors podcast, the perfect space to speak my truth and dive into deep conversations with others. This podcast is about celebrating everyday warriors, the people who face life's challenges head on, breaking through obstacles to build resilience, strength and courage. Join me, your host, trudy Marie, as I sit down with inspiring individuals who have fought their own battles and emerged stronger, sharing raw, real and authentic stories in a safe space, allowing you to explore, question and find your own path to new possibilities. And find your own path to new possibilities. Let us all embrace the warrior within and realise that, while no one is walking in your shoes, others are on this same path, journeying through life together.

Trudie Marie: 0:58

Please note that the following podcast may contain discussions or topics that could be triggering or distressing for some listeners. I aim to provide informative and supportive content, but understand that certain things may evoke strong emotions or memories. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or in need of support while listening, I encourage you to pause the podcast and take a break. Remember that it is okay to prioritize your well-being and seek assistance from trained professionals. There is no shame in this. In fact, it is the first brave step to healing. If you require immediate support, please consider reaching out to Lifeline on 13, 11, 14 or a crisis intervention service in your area. Thank you for listening and please take care of yourself as you engage with the content of this podcast.

Trudie Marie: 2:01

Love the Everyday Worriers podcast. It would mean the world to me if you were to leave a five-star review to ensure that the Everyday Warriors podcast is heard by more listeners around the world. You can also support the show for as little as $5 with a one-time donation or by becoming a monthly subscriber. Your contribution helps me to continue bringing you inspiring stories of everyday warriors who overcome challenges to find strength, resilience and new possibilities in life. Head to the link to buy me a coffee and fuel the next episode. Every bit counts. Every bit counts.

Trudie Marie: 2:46

If you're looking for an inspiring story of resilience, healing and rediscovering yourself, then my book Everyday Warrior From Frontline to Freedom is for you. It is my memoir of hiking the 1,000 kilometre Bibbulmun Track, a journey that was as much about finding my way back to myself as it was about conquering the trail through the highs and lows and everything in between. This book is taken from my journals and is my raw and honest experience of overcoming trauma and embracing the strength within. Grab your copy now. Just head to the link in the show notes and let's take this journey together. Welcome to another episode of the Everyday Warriors podcast, and today my guest is from Adelaide and we met in an online space and have since become amazing friends and mentors. And I have so much time for this lady, so I'd like to welcome Jackie.

Jacqui: 3:50

Thank you so much for having me.

Trudie Marie: 3:53

You're welcome and I know and I've learned so much about you in our friendship over the last few months, and what I want to start with is that you said that you had an aha moment about 30 to 35 years ago. So take us back then.

Jacqui: 4:10

Yeah, it was one of those. You know, you have so many things happen to you when, when you're younger and and you know, probably, if I did the math, it could have even been a bit longer than that, but it's it's a good place to start. But essentially I was visiting a girlfriend and and we were really close friends, like really close friends, and I went and visited her and I got into my car after we I'd probably been there for a couple of hours having coffees and chats and things as you do, and I got back into my car and I sat in the car and I'm just like, oh, I actually don't feel very good, and I don't mean in the physical form, I just didn't feel great about myself. And then I paused for a moment and realised actually, each time that I come and spend time with this particular person and she was a lovely person I actually just didn't feel very good about myself when I left and for me it was this bit of a, it was like an aha moment to go oh, hang on a sec.

Jacqui: 5:10

People that you spend time with, environments that you spend time with, actually have a really big dictator on how you feel about yourself, and I think it was more around. It was about the feeling and it was about recognise that feeling that you're actually having inside your body and, oh, should I actually be spending time with this person? Should I limit time that I spend with this person? Because if I don't feel good when I go there, then why would I be going there? So it sort of took me down that journey of starting to pay a lot more attention to what I felt and being able to start to understand if I don't feel good, let's honour that and actually don't put yourself into those positions. So I guess I started to listen to my body a lot more and listen to those feelings rather than just oh, but she's my friend, therefore I have to.

Jacqui: 6:05

You know all of those social constructs that came around and, growing up in the country as I did, everything was always around the social constructs and what you shall do and what you shall not do. And then you throw in the fact that you know I was a very young mum. I actually had my son just after I turned 15. And so, again, in a small country town, you're essentially put in this box. Here's who you're going to be. You did not finish high school. Therefore, you had a child when you're really young. Therefore, you get all of these different labels and things. So for me to be able to just pause and stop and have that aha moment to go, be able to just pause and stop and have that aha moment to go well, hang on a sec, I actually need to listen to me and I need to honour me just sort of started creating a different, I guess energetic connection to how I felt and started to play with the world.

Trudie Marie: 6:58

It's interesting when you say that about what we spend time doing and think that that's okay, but then we're left with this feeling that actually, no, I'm not okay and you may have had a good time, you may have, you know, you may really enjoy that other person's company because they're nice people, but how it leaves you feeling is, yeah, literally like depleted or energetically like a black hole, but then we continue to put ourselves into those situations as a whole. I think everybody in society could relate to that but, unlike you, not everybody takes the time to actually stop, listen and adjust what we do from there, yeah, and I think that that was sort of one of the key points for me.

Jacqui: 7:46

It was like, well, hang on a sec, I want to feel good.

Jacqui: 7:49

So why am I going to deliberately, like with that informed perspective, put myself into a circumstance where I don't feel good?

Jacqui: 7:57

You know, and it was more there was never anything deliberate or any type of malice around her looking to make me feel bad. It was more just where our conversations went and there was always lots of reminders about all of the dumb stuff that perhaps I'd done when I was younger, because we'd known ourselves for years and there was a bit of a list of things that I may have challenged the world with. But, yeah, it was really important for me to sort of go no, hang on a sec, I'm still going to spend time with this person, but I'm going to limit it and I'm going to do it sort of more on my terms and I'm going to actually decide what the topics of conversations are going to be, because I actually don't need to be reminded about all of the dumb stuff I've ever done because I lived it. So if I'm going to remind myself, I'll do that, but I didn't need anybody else to be doing it for me, so yeah, I totally get it.

Trudie Marie: 8:46

And just taking you back to, you said that you were a young mum, that you became a mum when you were 16. Did this aha moment also then affect how you parented and like what it was like to be a parent after that?

Jacqui: 9:00

Yeah, Well, it's interesting that you even use the word parent. I mean, I was actually 15 when I had my son and I think it wasn't about parenting, it was about survival. And you know, I was very, very lucky. My family were extremely supportive, so I don't know what I would have done without them. They were absolutely fabulous. But it really was a case of I don't know how to parent. And for me, even when people used to bring their children to our house, I would actually go and walk the dog. You know, I was never the baby person. I was never the you'd hang out with the little people person. So for me it was also like this hang on a second. Now I'm supposed to be a grown-up and now I'm responsible for another small human and and what does this actually look like? So I don't know that I was ever parenting.

Jacqui: 9:54

I think that together we were more in the survival and we pretty much grew up together, if that makes sense. So, yeah, it was never a case of I'm a parent what does a parent do? That thought never crossed my mind. It was more of I'm responsible for somebody. Okay, if they're fed and clothed, we're in a good role. You know, that was a great place to start. That was probably more how I seen it was not so much about being a parent, but just how to survive in these circumstances. And when I say survive, it didn't mean it was negative, it was just more. The word parent didn't even really come into my mind either.

Trudie Marie: 10:32

And I suppose it's such a difficult thing for many people to grasp. I know I didn't become a parent until my mid-20s and I was very, very maternal growing up. I always babysat my sisters and my cousins and other people's kids, and that was very much me. So I feel like I fell naturally into becoming a mother. But I just look at it and go at 15, you're still discovering who you are in the world and I know that you had some other traumas associated prior to that that you're now having to deal with not only that and your life and being a 15 year old. But now you've got somebody else and I love how you said you grew up together because literally you were learning along the way and your son was learning along the way as well. So it was almost like this you said survive together. But it was almost this dual hand in hand let's discover the world together yeah, that's, that's exactly what it was.

Jacqui: 11:29

And so my Steve's, my son's name was Steve and I say was because he has actually passed. Um, he passed about six years ago now. Um, no, five, five and a half. You know time flies and I am just forever grateful. Was that a situation that I thought, oh, let's go out and become a mum? Well, no, that was never on my list of things to do.

Jacqui: 11:51

I think you go looking for connection in many different places. My younger brother had actually passed only a month and a half from the time that I got pregnant. So, know, there was certainly that searching for connection in all the different ways, because my family, certainly it was challenged. He was only 11 when my brother passed. There was lots of challenges going through a family, as you would appreciate, at that particular time, with the loss of a child, and especially for my father, with the loss of a son, like his only son.

Jacqui: 12:22

So, through that it really was Steve and I, we, we did, we grew up together and the lessons that I have taken so far through this lifetime because of him coming into my world, oh, my goodness, like I could probably write 10 books, you know it's. You can't even start to to consider what it's, you know, you can't even start to consider what it's like to appreciate and I do every day. I appreciate the fact that he came into my world because I don't know that I would have become a mum had it not have been in that circumstance. I wouldn't have had all of those experiences, I wouldn't have had all of those interesting moments as we do when you have the child and the parent both growing up together, as we do when you have the child and the parent both growing up together.

Jacqui: 13:07

But even in his passing, the lessons that I have been able to take in this lifetime because of Steve being a part of it, I will be forever grateful, because I don't think I would have done half of the things that I've now done had it not have been for him being in my world. So, yeah, it's funny when people come and go in all of the different forms in my world. So, yeah, it's funny when people come and go in all of the different forms in our lifetime, and sometimes they're physically related and sometimes they're friends in passing or whatever that looks like. But, yes, forever grateful for him being part of my world.

Trudie Marie: 13:39

I love that and it takes me back to a saying of yeah, people will be in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime, and often you don't know until they're gone, in whatever form. That is that you come to understand or realize why they were actually there and what their purpose was. In your life, lessons and what you experience, but talking about like obviously aha moment and and dealing with your feelings and putting yourself into situations how did that then change for you? Obviously you lost your brother quite young, and then losing Steve I'm going to guess still reasonably young, uh is how did then you relate his passing into dealing with yourself and your body and your feelings?

Jacqui: 14:28

Yeah, so when Steve passed he was actually 34. So you know he was an adult and has a child of his own and things as well. But for me, it really sent me down a path of there has to be more, sent me down a path of there has to be more each time we had those connections. So the passing of my younger brother and having those experiences because I was 14 at the time when he passed, and it's sort of like what else is going on here there was always this element of there's a reason for everything. I guess I've always had that as part of my world.

Jacqui: 15:06

But looking at it and sort of going, okay, so there's a passing here, but now we have somebody new coming in. So Steve coming in, and then there's all of the learnings that you have and all parents. I don't think it matters what age you become a parent. Everybody can relate to the fact that. Okay, they don't come as little people do not come with instruction manuals no, they don't all of the books under the sun, but they certainly don't come with instruction manuals.

Jacqui: 15:31

You're sort of just feeling and learning and experiencing. But in reflection on the passing of steve, it was almost like a completely new door open for me and it was very much. I'm forever grateful that my sister suggested that I go and do a Reiki course Now, never even had Reiki, didn't even know what Reiki was, but completely trusted that this was an experience that my sister had been having and so booked into this Reiki course, which turned out to be about three or four weeks after the passing of my son that I'm now sitting in this room with a group of strangers and we're going to sit on a mat and we're going to do something called meditation Well, I've never done that either and we're going to talk all things around whatever Reiki is. And that was probably the biggest awakening that I have ever had, outside of all of the other elements of learning. This was like my wake up moment.

Jacqui: 16:30

It was almost like I went to this complete period of remembering that this is who I truly am. This is what I came here for. This is why I had all of the experiences of people not treating you nicely as a child and they came in all different forms, but the growth that you have of being a parent at a young age and it just sort of like everything then made sense because all of a sudden there was this awakening through sitting in this little room doing reiki, meditation, all of the, the elements that come with that. It was just like, oh, holy crap, this, this is. There's a reason for all of this and it has taken my world over the last five and a half you know, six years down a completely different pathway, which I've actually found is easy and it flows, because every element of the being stuck in a box, of being judged by others, it was like all of a sudden there was a reason for it and it has just completely transformed the way that I turn up for the world, I play with the world, I connect with the world and being open to doing different things that we do because you're going to gain something from it that the knowledge that you gain is just going to be incredible.

Jacqui: 17:46

So it's funny how the different paths and the different opportunities that turn up and I always say for us, it's not to us, because when we can sit back and appreciate and see things from the light of knowledge and growth that they've provided us. You have to see that with appreciation, you have to see that with gratitude and therefore it's for us, because the knowledge that you have to see that with appreciation, you have to see that with gratitude and therefore it's for us, because the knowledge that you have and how you can then support others and and you know turn up just every single day. You see it from a different perspective and it's very, very fun when you let it.

Trudie Marie: 18:20

I love that and I totally agree that it's changing that perspective of things that happen to us and they actually happen for us and I know that for myself with everything that I went through with WA Police that at the time I was very much in the space of this happened to me, and it wasn't until I hiked the bib that I actually was like no, this happened for me. There's a reason for all of this that life culminates in weird and mysterious ways. That leads us to where we need to go, and what was there for me inside of that was when you go back to looking and you talked about the judgments and the roles of you're a teen mom and you didn't finish high school and there was all this negative connotation around that, but you kind of used it to your advantage even back then that you said that you grew together and that you lived together and then miraculously, for whatever reason whether Steve had part of that you were led to this new path of actually going down and doing something that you never thought possible. But I feel like, even though you probably consciously didn't know, like you said, you've never done meditation and you've never heard of Reiki but you'd already had that aha moment of hold on a second. I need to listen to my body, so it's almost like that little aha moment almost led you to say yes to the Reiki in the first place.

Jacqui: 19:42

Absolutely. And I think those little aha moments turn up on a regular basis and they're always there. It's just whether we let ourselves hear them or let ourselves see them. And I'll take you to another little story which I've shared with a few people but not that many people over the years that I was in. I was actually in WA, funnily enough, and I was doing some work. I used to do lots of fly around the the countryside for one of my jobs and I was standing in line just to get a bottle of drink at a local service station down in Bunbury and there was a, a younger guy in front of me and, and the poor thing, his bank card had broken. So he was trying to like swipe as you used to have to with the you know bank cards back then. He was trying to swipe literally like the little strip to pay for his $10 worth of petrol, and this not so pleasant lady who was serving him was giving him a bit of a hard time because it was starting to be a bit of a line up and a few people waiting etc. And in the end I just sort of chipped in and said that's right, mate. I said I'll get your fuel for you. And he just looked at me and the look of gratitude on his face because he kept saying to this lady look, I'll just go down to the bank you know, I'm just on my way to a job interview and I've just got to just said no, no, it's all good, mate, I'll get it. And so he very, you know, gratefully, went off and got in his car and I'm paying for my bottle of soft drink and and his ten dollars worth of petrol. And the lady behind the counter, she looks at me, she goes well, that's an expensive bottle of drink, isn't it? And I said no, actually it's not, and that's entirely my choice. And I went happily on my way and that was fine.

Jacqui: 21:20

And a few weeks later I went up to our local supermarket and it was a relatively quiet supermarket, especially sort of into the to the later evening, and I went in and I grabbed my few groceries and I came back out and there was probably only half a dozen cars in the car park. You know it was a smaller space and I kid you not. I get to the door of my car and I look down and there is a ten dollar note sitting on the ground at my car door and I'm looking around, there is literally not another soul in the entire place that they could have, you know, dropped it or whatever it looked like, but it was literally right at my feet, at my car door, and so I picked up that ten dollar note. I thanked the universe very much because I figured that they were just returning the ten dollars that I'd lent this young guy, and so I popped it into my purse and then off.

Jacqui: 22:06

I went home and again, it was just another point of reflection and this was way before I did the, you know, the Reiki's or any of the things, and because I've done so many different modalities, now, as soon as that door was opened in Reiki time, it was just like, oh my goodness, there's so much else to play with, but just that little $10 note coming back and just sort of going all right again, there's some more in this. What else is going on universe, what else is going on in our world? So, yeah, it's the little things that turn up for us, which I think is really fun for us to learn how to play with.

Trudie Marie: 22:41

Yeah, and that's. It's such a beautiful story on two levels, the first being that people underestimate what it's like to have a random act of kindness bestowed upon them, and I've done it myself in the past. I mean, you used to be able to give away your parking tickets. Now they seem to do your parking tickets by your registration plate, which annoys me because it's like I used to give my time to somebody else. But it's those little things that you just don't understand, or you can't even comprehend what that ripple effect is going to be. You doing that for that stranger.

Trudie Marie: 23:17

That day he went away extremely grateful, went to his job interview, hopefully got his job and started on a new life path, and yet the woman behind the counter was just extremely negative about the same said subject. But then, secondly, it's that whole law of universal karma that you did something good and something good came back to you. Yes, it was in the exact form of the $10 note, but so many times, like when we do good in the world, it reciprocates back to us. And how different would the world be if we could all do that more.

Jacqui: 23:51

It's just the littlest of things. It really doesn't take very much. It's just the letting the person in when you're merging into traffic. I actually now, when I turn up to the world, I play. I play with the world and literally I bring that energy of play and with fun and et cetera. And another example of that is not that long ago. So since my son's passing and his surname was Frost, it was always Frosty, my son's passing and and his surname was frost, it was always frosty.

Jacqui: 24:20

And what was really fun is that I would play with the universe and I would play I would call it number plate bingo so I'd sit there and I would always see his date of birth numbers on the number plates and and different things as I was going to work and and different travel as we did. And and I decided one day I bought this it was actually an oven off of Marketplace and I thought I had to cruise up to this little country town in the hills just outside here of Adelaide. I'm just like all right universe as I get in the car. This number plate thing, this numbers, is getting a bit easy, you know, because it's happening all the time. So I'm going to put it out there. I want to see words, you know, because it's happening all the time. So I'm going to put it out there. I want to see, I want to see words. And so, I kid you not, I'm driving, I'd driven out of my driveway, I'd taken the little down the road and I was heading down the the next road along to head up towards the hills and there was this U that turned to go up its driveway because we sort of live in a country block type of area, and I'm going, no, and then I'm watching this ute drive up the driveway and a massive took up the whole side of this dual cab ute in bright rainbow color. Writing was frost, because that was the name of the business. And I'm just like I am killing myself, laughing, and I'm going yeah, okay, friends, okay, friends, universe, you win, you absolutely win. You know, I put the challenge out there and literally within three minutes, here was this massive side of this entire car with his last name on it, and I'm just like, well, that's kind of fun, isn't it? And then I thought, oh well, this is just entertaining.

Jacqui: 25:54

So I cruise on my way up to the hills and, as you do in small country towns you have to sometimes drive up and down the road a couple of times to find the house numbers, because they don't always have house numbers. So I drive down to the end of this road to do a u-turn, to then go back to the house where the oven was, and in the middle of the road there was this wallet and I thought, oh, that's a bit strange. So I pulled over. It was just sort of outside of a car door and I thought they must have just dropped it when they got out of the car. So I went and knocked on the door of the house that the car was in front of. No, there was nobody there and I thought, oh well, as you could, you know, let's just stalk them on Facebook and send them a message or something to let them know that you found their wallet.

Jacqui: 26:30

So I opened up the wallet and I took out the license so that I could get the person's name and, I kid you not, his date of birth was the same as my son's. And I'm going come on, you guys like, how much more can you possibly put out there to say we are here to support you, we are going to play with you, we are going to, when you let yourself connect to all of the energy of all of the things, the way that the world turns up for you to play with is just amazing, and for me, again, it just reinforced when we allow ourselves just to be open, when we get out of our own way of going. Oh no, this isn't a thing or I'm going to be judged if I believe that you can put stuff out to the world or whatever it looks like. When we let go of all of those social constructs, it is amazing the stuff that we actually bring into our worlds On so many levels. It's just so much fun.

Trudie Marie: 27:30

Such another beautiful story and I really like what you say about playing the game of life. For so many of us, we go through life like it's a chore I don't even know how to put it into words, but it's. Everything is hard and yet if we actually look at, we are here to play and play the game of life. I mean, the game of life is actually a board game. But if we play our real lives like we play that board game and have fun with it and show up and take risks and go beyond fear, like you just described, it can be totally magical and we can have much more enjoyment, much more fun and actually just really live life instead of just surviving it.

Jacqui: 28:16

Absolutely, and you know, again, for me it was very much around as soon as I'd open the door, if you like, going, I'm going to say, back into the energy worlds, because I truly then believe. Once I'd open that door, it was just like oh OK, so I've done this before. This is my memories, this is my learnings. I've come into this lifetime to be able to have these experiences because this is stuff that I didn't know or learn before. So then I started exploring all different things around, what this looks like, because I thought there has to be more. So I played in all the different modalities it's the Reiki, it's the shamanism, and playing with crystals and working with all different things and I thought there has to be more that sits behind this. Science was always a fun thing for me. Learning was always very fun. It still is.

Jacqui: 29:04

So I came across on YouTube one day this fabulous lady called Dr Sue Mortar, and Dr Sue Mortar has written a book. It's called the Energy Coats, and I came across her on YouTube and she comes. It was a TED talk and she comes out on stage with all of this amazing energy and the very first thing that she'd said to me is who's ready to have some fun. Who's ready to play? And I'm just like, oh, you're my person. Then she was talking all things bioenergetics and all of the science that sat behind the energy within the body and the frequencies within the body, etc. And that, for me, just opened up a complete other new world. Because I'm just like, oh, hang on a sec, it's the science that sits behind this that I'm really going to get excited about. And when I say that, clearly the universe has already shown me so many different ways to play with it anyway, but when I could then connect that into where the scientists I'm going to say no offence, but they kind of catch up eventually is that there's actually energetic things that are happening in our bodies every single time and when we keep ourselves at what's described as a higher frequency and that comes with fun and joy and laughter, all of those things that make us feel good.

Jacqui: 30:19

And if we always come back to the feeling because you know, the brain is only half of 1% of all of the cells in our body, so I don't know why we spend so much time focusing on there. But when we allow ourselves to feel and to focus on the things that feel good and go and do the things that make us feel good, the energy and the way that the cells in our body and how well all of the cells in our body actually work for us. It's so amazing and that's what allows us to go with flow and ease and the little things that turn up for us. Like my friends often say, say, why do you always get the best car parks?

Jacqui: 30:56

Oh well, you know, when you're kind of vibing at high levels and you're playing with all your friends, it's also more your health and what sits behind and inside your body is literally based on how you're choosing to turn ups every single day, because our body is meant to be at ease and at flow and so literally ease.

Jacqui: 31:16

When our body is not at ease, it's dis-ease.

Jacqui: 31:22

And then we get the English language and you join those two things together and then we've got disease, so literally that that lack of flow in our body, where the energy is not going because we're tucking things away and we're hiding them and you know we're trying not to go there because our mind's trying to keep us safe that's also what is creating this lack of flow inside the body.

Jacqui: 31:44

So all of these different lessons and learnings and exploration of what else is out there and coming across the works of people like Dr Sue Morton and people like that whether it's Joe Dispenza or whoever best you know fits and vibes for you, whatever you feel connected to when you allow yourself to go there. What I've discovered is that, through all of the lessons and all of the learnings that happen for me, it's now provided me with a basis to now connect to my own personal energy, but also to support the energy and the connection of other people, because had I not have been through those experiences, I wouldn't be able to have the conversations with others that I have now to support them in their shifting and their changing and realigning of energy as well.

Trudie Marie: 32:32

I love what you just said there and I think what's there for me is that some people will go listening to this, will actually go. Oh, but that's toxic positivity and it's like no, it's not about staying in this happy, happy, joy, joy space 100% of the time. Nobody can do that. It's about feeling all the emotions, being able to go to those places of sadness or anger or whatever it is, but then not stay there, actually realize that. No, this is a bad place to be or a negative place to be, a low vibration to be in. It's about coming back and bringing it back, like you said, with that ease and flow.

Trudie Marie: 33:13

I often refer to life as a roller coaster. It has the highs and it has the lows and then it has the balance in between. And so many people just play in the high and the low and they never come back to the balance in between. And the ease and flow is actually like you look at the heartbeat. The heartbeat is that peak and trough and balance line in between and you never want a flat line because that's life over. You need to have those high and low balances to actually allow life to go and I think people so often think that it needs to be. Oh, my life is over and it's really, really bad. Or, you know, my life is good and it's like always up here, but like no, that's not life. It's like always up here, but like no, that's not life. It's not the roller coaster, it's not the heartbeat, it is this ease and flow ride.

Jacqui: 34:00

And it's really funny when you mentioned that I was listening to another program with another different scientific perspective. And again, what science has now discovered is that even now, our energy and how our body modulates itself is actually now measured in waves and it literally is that up and down and that flow and it's more. And can I just say you are so, so right when you say we still have shit days. Okay, I'm not sitting here going, oh la, you know, here's my world and all the things, but what I do do is I sit there and go, oh, okay, so why has this happened for me? And it's always for me, what is in here for me, and I look at everything as an opportunity.

Jacqui: 34:42

So it doesn't mean that you don't have the shit days and you don't have the you know, times when you just want to go and hibernate and stick your head under the blankie and go back to bed for the day. But the time that you choose because it is a choice the time that you choose to spend in that space entirely then dictates how it is that you're going to feel in those waves for the next hour, 10 minutes, two days, whatever that looks like for you, it's actually a choice. And when I say that it can be challenging to get out of those really stuck low vibrational levels, when you've gone down there and the idea of even hearing somebody like me talking about turning up for the world and having fun, you just want to jump through the screen and slap them stupid. You know you're not going to have that level of connection.

Jacqui: 35:36

But if you can also hear the message that there are opportunities for you to use what has happened in your world as something of an advantage, of something as growth, as something as an opportunity for you to now turn up to the world in a different way, and and I think it was as soon as I learned that we have a choice, that was probably the biggest aha moment that I've ever had in my world was the ability to know that we can choose, and every single day I just made the choice to be able to go okay, world, I'm putting it out there and what else is going to come. But I'm also going to choose to try and find the light in each circumstance that comes for me and to try and find what those lessons are as they turn up and and see how I can better use them to grow in a way that I've never done before and you're so right, it is a choice in how we live our lives.

Trudie Marie: 36:33

I think so often we get stuck that we think that there is an alternative.

Trudie Marie: 36:40

Like that somebody's going to come along and flick a switch and we're going to have this completely different life.

Trudie Marie: 36:45

No, life is as it's occurring for us right now, and what you said about whether we, how we choose to play in that space is that, yeah, we can stay stuck and we can keep going woe is me and play the victim and be in this negative vibration, or, yeah, we can sit back, reflect, go okay, what is the lesson here, or what am I supposed to take from this experience, and how can I then use that to better my life or move forward or take another action, step or share with somebody else?

Trudie Marie: 37:19

Like, there are so many things that we can take from an experience that it doesn't have to define who we are moving forward, and I think you are a prime example of that, in the sense that you lost a brother young, so you dealt with loss at a very young age. You then went on to become a teen mum, which in itself is a whole judgment box that many people will have, and then you've moved through that, only to then lose your son and have to restart again Like one. At the beginning, like I, became a parent so young, but now I'm actually losing him so young. What is the lessons inside of that that I'm taking with me forward? And I think that's just a beautiful culmination of everything you've spoken about today.

Jacqui: 38:04

Again, I'm just forever grateful for the opportunities that I've had. You know, and look, you know, probably if you could tick all the boxes, I had somebody that tried to take advantage of me at a very young age and try to do things that to a young person that you should never do to a young person, and I've experienced that of being in a violent relationship and what that looks like, and and I've had all of my insides playing in a way that no females inside should ever do, and you know all of the labels that get attached to all of those things and every single time something else has turned up for me. I've been able to use it. You know I've now worked with a lot of programs helping young parents and parents going back into the workforce, create opportunities for them. I've been able to identify, when I'm working with people, what it's like when you hold these elements of dis-ease inside your body and what it is that you can do to shift. That I can relate to when I do careers advice for people.

Jacqui: 39:05

Well, I didn't finish high school, but I still went to university, because there's actually lots of different ways that you can bridge the gap between one and two. It doesn't always have to be get the best score that you can in year 12 and all the pressure that, for whatever reason, people put behind all of that stuff. Fyi, nobody, since I've worked in HR and recruitment, nobody's ever asked what was your ATAR score or your WASC score or whatever it looks like in your part of the world. Nobody's ever asked that when you go for a job interview, just so you know. There's so many learnings that have actually come that I would not have been able to then share with other people to let them go. Well, actually, we can move forward from this if it hadn't have happened for me. So again, where I see it, as some people say, this happened to me and I'm going to hold this for forever.

Jacqui: 39:56

I've chosen and it's been an informed choice. I've chosen to go down the path of how amazing that I have had all of these learning moments in this lifetime that I can now use to support other people in seeing that there's another way to play with the world and there's another way to play with life, that there's another way to play with the world and there's another way to play with life and you actually can truly decide once you found that guidance and support in whatever way comes forward. For you, and perhaps even just this conversation, was that support that you needed to go. Well, hang on a sec, geez.

Jacqui: 40:28

Yeah, okay, I've had things happen. But what if I do change the word two to four? What if I do now choose to see what else I can take from this and who I'm now going to support and to share? And share my $10 worth of petrol at a service station one day? Who else am I going to be able to turn up for? And that, for me, is what I'm always going to be grateful for, because everything that I've had happen for me in my world to this point and I'm sure there's still a lot more to come has given me the opportunity to now turn up for others, and I am forever grateful in how that's been able to come forward.

Trudie Marie: 41:06

I love that and I love that inside of you, doing all the work that you've had to do and going forward and supporting others, is that that allowed our connection to happen.

Trudie Marie: 41:16

So I'm extremely grateful that you went through all of that to be able to connect with me as well and, in looking at that, it's like it's why I do the podcast. It's why I love storytelling and sharing what people have to say and giving people a voice in a safe space, because quite often we feel like we are alone in doing what we do. And it's those people and I call them everyday warriors because I feel like we are all fighting something in this world. It doesn't matter how big, how small, how grand, whatever the case may be. We all have obstacles, adversities that we have to overcome in some way, and it's a choice as to how far, how we overcome them and how far we go beyond that adversity and then how we get to create and play with life moving on from that. So I would love to thank you so much for being here today and sharing your story and being a part of the podcast, because this is what it's all about.

Jacqui: 42:20

No, and I really appreciate having this forum just to you know, share with some different people that every day is a choice, and we can choose to turn up going this happened to us or we can choose to turn up to say this has happened for us, because the energy behind just shifting those two simple words really does change how it is that you feel inside and therefore, how it is that you're going to step forward into that next day. And every day is a new start, every minute is a new start, and to be present and and to just allow yourself to feel what you feel, to process what it is that's been for you before, and to be ready for what's new, because every opportunity is something new for us. So, thank you very much for providing this space for myself and for other people. And, yes, it has been so much fun us getting to know each other and I know that we're going to have so much fun moving forward.

Trudie Marie: 43:15

A hundred percent, totally agree, and I always love to finish the podcast by asking what are you most grateful for today?

Jacqui: 43:23

Oh, I'm most grateful for having met you, trutz, and for having these conversations and being. I think my absolute gratefulness comes from every learning opportunity that I've had, everything that has happened in my world so far, because it just allows me to support other people moving forward thank you for tuning in to the everyday warriors podcast.

Trudie Marie: 43:46

If you have an idea for a future episode or a story you'd like to share yourself, then please reach out and message me, as I am always up for real, raw and authentic conversations with other everyday warriors. Also, be sure to subscribe so that you can download all the latest episodes as they are published and spread the word to your family and friends and colleagues so they can listen in too. If you're sharing on social media, please be sure to tag me so that I can personally acknowledge you. I'm always open to comment about how these episodes have resonated with you, the listener. And remember lead with love as you live this one wild and precious life.