Episode 45 - Tina Lembo: War with my Body

One sentence changed everything. Tina walked into a wellness talk determined to starve herself back into control and walked out with a new mission: stop the slow self-harm and start choosing life. What follows is a brave, unfiltered account of how a childhood comment and a teenage jab spiralled into years of disordered eating, fad diets, five coffees a day and a marriage stretched thin. This was complicated by an undiagnosed ADHD lens that made masking feel like survival.

We unpack the pivotal moments of hiding in jumpers through scorching Perth summers, the shock of an unrecognisable face in a photo and the party video that retriggered shame after motherhood. Then we trace the rebuild as Tina found steadier ground through creativity and community, returning to the stage to sing in Baltimore, leaning into a CrossFit-style gym that celebrates who she is and volunteering with Radio Lollipop and St John Ambulance to reconnect with purpose and presence. Along the way, nutrition becomes practical and compassionate. Guided by a naturopath, Tina embraces three meals a day, prioritises protein and relies on raw foods that support energy, digestion and consistent training.

This conversation is a resource for anyone navigating body dysmorphia, postpartum changes, ADHD, or the aftermath of divorce. We talk about turning “fitness” from obsession into function, measuring progress by energy and sleep rather than a scale and the hardest lesson of all, self-kindness. Tina shares how she’s setting boundaries, preparing to tell family the full story and stepping into speaking to help others catch their moment before harm becomes habit.

If this resonates, tap follow, share it with a friend who needs a lifeline, and leave a quick review so more everyday warriors can find these stories. Your words help this message reach the people who need it most.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Content Warning
• 2:04 Support The Show And Book Plug
• 3:33 Meet Tina And Set The Stage
• 4:14 Childhood Comment And Early Shame
• 6:16 Teen Bullying And Starvation Spiral
• 9:20 Hiding In Plain Sight
• 11:52 Uni Years And Fitness Obsession
• 14:18 Motherhood And The Relapse Cycle
• 18:17 ADHD, Marriage Strain, And Health
• 21:00 The Wellness Seminar Wake-Up Call
• 24:35 Rebuilding Through Creativity And Service
• 27:24 The Missing Piece: Self-Kindness
• 31:04 Food, Energy, And Sustainable Habits
• 34:58 Family Impact And Hard Conversations
• 38:09 Owning The Story And Speaking Goals
• 41:12 What’s Next And Final Gratitude

Transcript

Trudie Marie: 0:01

Welcome to the Everyday Warriors Podcast, the perfect space to speak my truth and dive into deep conversations with others. This podcast is about celebrating everyday warriors, the people who face life's challenges head on, breaking through obstacles to build resilience, strength, and courage. Join me, your host, Trudy Marie, as I sit down with inspiring individuals who have fought their own battles and emerge stronger, sharing more real and authentic stories in a safe space, allowing you to explore, question, and find your own path to new possibilities. Let us all embrace the warrior within and realize that while no one is walking in your shoes, others are on the same path, journeying through life together. Please note that the following podcast may contain discussions or topics that could be triggering or distressing for some listeners. I aim to provide informative and supportive content, but understand that certain things may evoke strong emotions or memories. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or in need of support while listening, I encourage you to pause the podcast and take a break. Remember that it is okay to prioritise your well-being and seek assistance from trained professionals. There is no shame in this. In fact, it is the first brief step to healing. If you require immediate support, please consider reaching out to Lifeline on 13, 11, 14 or a crisis intervention service in your area. Thank you for listening and please take care of yourself as you engage with the content of this podcast. It would mean the world to me if you were to leave a five-star review to ensure that the Everyday Warriors Podcast is heard by more listeners around the world. You can also support the show for as little as $5 with a one-time donation or by becoming a monthly subscriber. Your contribution helps me to continue bringing you inspiring stories of everyday warriors who overcome challenges to find strength, resilience, and new possibilities in life. Head to the link to buy me a coffee and fuel the next episode. Every bit counts. A journey that was as much about finding my way back to myself as it was about conquering the trail through the highs and lows and everything in between. This book is taken from my journals and is my raw and honest experience of overcoming trauma and embracing the strength within. Grab your copy now. Just head to the link in the show notes and let's take this journey together. Welcome to another episode of the Everyday Warriors Podcast. And today's guest is local in WA, just like me, and she has come referred by one of my friends. So welcome to the show, Tina.

Tina : 3:48

Thank you.

Trudie Marie: 3:51

It's great having you, and I'm so thankful, and I just want to acknowledge Christine for connecting us because you just never know where your next guest is going to come from. And the fact that I have people on my side that are supporting the show and supporting other people's stories, I just think is incredible. So it's so good to have you here. Thanks. So I want to start your story back in your childhood, which is, I believe, where everything sort of started to change for you.

Tina : 4:24

Yes, so I'll try not to get emotional because it is a really difficult story to share. I only really started sharing it a couple of months ago. So no one apart from a couple of people have heard this story. But it really started when I was 10 years old. So I was at my non-ness farm. I'm from Italian background. And so I was talking to two of my aunties, and I was a kid, so I must have said something along the lines of, oh, I'm really skinny or something. And one of my aunties turned to me and said, Tina, it's because you've got worms, and when you get older, you're going to get fat.

Trudie Marie: 5:01

Oh wow.

Tina : 5:03

Yeah, just give me a sec. So that comment stuck with me. And it didn't really shape who I was until I was about 16. Going through puberty, when I started in high school, but I went to an all-girls school. So that's when I started to really think, wow, I'm different from everyone else. I feel different. I look different. Coming back then, being Italian, having the hairy legs and being teased for that. So that's when I really started to start thinking there was something different with my body. But nothing really happened after that for a couple of years until I turned 16. So when I turned 16, one of my friends, it was a sports day, and she had forgotten her track switch pants. And I said, Oh, I've got a spare pair in my bag. You can just have them. Now she was really skinny. So when she put them on, they were practically falling off her. And all the girls in the class laughed. That's when it just really hit me. And that's when I started to have some pretty terrible thoughts about my body. And I can't remember exactly, but it may have probably been about maybe a couple of months or so. I was in the drama class, and we had decided that we're going to put on the school musical. And being in all-girls school, we'd invited the boys from our brother school to come along. So I got to be in the show. I had a boy who was going to my dance partner. So I was pretty excited because I love music and I love performing. And one day I was running late to rehearsal. And as I was in the wings about to step out on stage, I heard my dance partner talking to another girl. And he said to her, Listen, I don't want to be Tina's dance partner. She's too fat to lift. And I can't tell you exactly the thoughts that went through my head at that time hearing that. I just know that something inside me died that day. And I just stopped eating. So the show came and went. And if I lost track of how many times, oh how many weeks, sorry, I didn't eat. But when I first started starving myself, I weighed about 68 kilos. After, like I said, a couple, it probably would have been more than a couple of weeks, to be honest. That whole period of my life was a blur. I would say that I got down to 37 kilos.

Trudie Marie: 7:33

Oh wow. So we're talking about shaving nearly half your weight through not eating because of something. One that had stemmed from your aunties at 10 years of age, but then a boy making a backhanded comment about not being able to lift you on stage as part of a dance recital that you just went into a whole body dysmorphia at that stage.

Tina : 8:02

Yes, and the worst thing about it is that nobody noticed. Not my mum, not my sisters, not my friends. It got to the point where I was really, really dangerously thin and the signs of starving myself started to take a toll. So I can remember having red welts form all over my arms. Now this would have been about summertime, because I remember it was like coming to the end of the year. So I'd have to wear a jumper in summer to hide that. And people would ask me, Tina, why are you wearing a jumper in summer? And I'd go, Oh ha ha, it's okay. I don't feel the heat. And being from Perth, you know exactly what how Perth summers are like. So not only was I suffering on one level, I was suffering on a whole nother level having to wear a jumper. But not long after that, it was coming to the end of year school dance, and so we had to um, so I decided that I'd get a dress made. My auntie was a dressmaker, not the two aunties from not the from one of the aunties from when I was 10, but so she was a dressmaker. I'd picked the dress, I'd got my hair done for the event, so I thought I was looking pretty good. And on the night we had some photos taken, I remember I didn't eat either, so I was just pretending to just push my food around the plate. And it wasn't until about a week later that I got the photo. And I remember I was so excited to have a look at the photo because I thought, oh, I look pretty good that night. And that's when I opened the photo and I just stared at myself, and I just stared at that photo for so long because the face that was looking back at me was not my own face, it was unrecognizable.

Trudie Marie: 9:44

My cheeks due to the weight loss, is it because you were so gaunt?

Tina : 9:48

Oh, absolutely. My cheek, my cheeks, my eyes were sunken and lifeless. It was like, yeah.

Trudie Marie: 9:55

So my question is how if you lose about 30 kilos, even though you're young, you said yes, you were wearing jumpers through the summer period, so obviously bulky layers, how did no one notice the change in who you were? Or do you think that given the circumstances going back to probably the if you're a similar age to me, it would have been the late 80s, early 90s? Did people not notice, or did people just not talk about?

Tina : 10:26

Well, I was the eldest of four, and mum and dad worked all the time, so I just hid in my room. And so if mum would it wasn't dad because he worked late, but if mum said, Oh, have something to eat, no, no, that's fine, I'm already eating. So it was like, I'm fine, I'm already eating. It was only when I went to have a dress fitting that my one of my aunties said to me, Tina, wow, you look really skinny. And at that point, there was nothing on me. So I had was really frail at that time, but I just laughed it off. I said, Oh no, that's okay. But I don't know why. No one said anything at all, not even my friends. It was just not a conversation whether they didn't want to talk about it, they didn't. Mum was quite young as well when she had me, so maybe she didn't know how to have those conversations with me about what was going on. To be honest, I have no idea why no one said anything.

Trudie Marie: 11:21

Yeah, it's just interesting that you would look, you look at your photo of yourself and see what the difference is, and you don't recognize yourself. I'm just curious as to what other people's impressions or opinions were of you around that time. Because if you notice that change yourself, and we're often the last ones to notice a change, like it took a seeing a photo of yourself to recognise that change, that why no one else around you had noticed either. How did things change for you coming up to the end of year 12? And I presume you then went on to university?

Tina : 11:58

Yes, so after that I attempted to start eating again. So I was at uni, and to be honest, my lunch was a packet of tomato sauce and a packet of salt. So that's what I would eat for lunch at uni. It was really bad, so bad now that I think back of it. And then at home, I would just barely, barely eat. By the time I finished uni, actually, we take a step back. So I became obsessed with keeping fit. So I was at the gym five days a week. I started martial arts as well, and I was doing that six days a week. So I was forced to eat. So I had to start eating to be able to be exercising at that level. So then I put on a bit of weight, it was about I went to about 42 kilos, and then that gradually started to get better and started to eat more. I finished uni. I was working, so I had to eat to work, to be able to function at work, and then I got married. And by the time I got married, I was at 52 kilos. So then, not after I got married, I had children. And I'm really proud to say that the whole time that I had my kids, I wasn't starving myself. I was eating normally, so I had two beautiful, healthy boys. So things really started to get on track. I was married, I was happy, I had kids. And then I decided to have a birthday party. And at the birthday party, we're having fun. So someone filmed the event. And the next day I went back in and watched the recording, and that's when I broke down crying. I just sat on the bed and sobbed because, in my eyes, I had put on so much weight. And that moment triggered eight years of a vicious cycle of dieting, starving. I was doing ridiculous fad diets. I don't know if you ever heard of the soup diet where you just eat soup, soup, soup, soup, soup, this soup, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, snacks. I got so violently ill after that, but it worked. In my eyes, it worked. I went down to 47 kilos. But I was, again, from about being, well, it's heavier then because I had my children. So I was probably about 70-something kilos down to 47 kilos. But I got really, really sick and I couldn't function having two little children at that stage doing that. So I thought, what am I gonna do? I can't starve myself, but I because after I recovered from the two weeks, I started eating again. If you eat again, you know what your body does, puts on weight. So I and I started to panic. I don't want to put on this weight again. What am I gonna do? But I can't starve myself. I've got two little kids to look after. So I thought I'd come up with a brilliant idea. I would live off five cups of coffee a day. That was my fuel for weeks and weeks and weeks. I had five cups of coffee. I was jittery, I was a nightmare, it was a mess. I was barely being able to look after myself, my kids. And not long after that, my marriage could fell apart and I became divorced. So life was not looking very good for me at that stage.

Trudie Marie: 15:08

I just want to take you back because just hearing you say that, like you went through this eight years of struggle. So you were underweight to begin with, going through uni if you were leaving off tomato sauce and salt. And then you decide to become very health conscious, but in a good way or a positive way, because you're doing your martial arts in your gym, and so you're forced to you eat, but your physique is matching what you're currently doing. You get married and you have two children, and you're very healthy during both pregnancies and initially postpartum. When you look back now, because let's be real, hindsight is 2020, but when you look back to that time where you saw a video of yourself at a party where I'm guessing that you were at reasonably healthy weight range because you were fit and healthy and just had two children, what was the body dysmorphia like for you in the sense that you, in that instant of seeing the image, was it the voices of your auntie saying when you get older you become fat? Or was it just the fact of this post-partum baby weight that sent you on this downward spiral or resorting to five cups of coffee a day to maintain the weight?

Tina : 16:26

To be honest, I think it was that when I saw the photo of myself looking like that broke me out of the cycle of where I was starving myself. This actually put me back into that because I saw a photo or an image of myself where I was back to when I was a teenager and was overweight. So that triggered that whole cycle again of those feelings and that brought up those feelings again. Oh my gosh, I'm overweight. I don't want to go back to being like that again because I was I ended up putting on quite a bit of weight after my second child. So he was quite a large child. So that then triggered that whole cycle again of I can't be like this. What am I gonna do? There were shorter periods of starving myself because again, I had the kids, so I couldn't not, I couldn't go through that and starve myself and look after them. So that's when all this crazy dieting came in and periods of starving myself. So looking back, it was yeah, seeing that image of myself again and being back to when I was 16.

Trudie Marie: 17:28

And apologies if this is somewhat of a personal question, but was your body dysmorphia and your yo-yo dieting a contributing factor to your marriage breakdown?

Tina : 17:41

I think in a way, in a way, maybe yes and a bit of no. There was something quite personal that had triggered the breakdown. But I think closer to the end, it was not knowing that I had ADHD to start off with, and I recently diagnosed three years ago. So the way I saw myself was very different, and I always didn't feel like I would fit in. But I think near the end, it would have definitely been the five cups of coffee. It was crazy. I was barely functioning as a human being. I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't eating. At the time, my ex-husband was working all the time. So I had it, it was a lot of contributing factors. I wouldn't say it was definitely the thing that pushed it over the edge, but did it contribute? I would say yes, it would have.

Trudie Marie: 18:31

Okay. And thank you for being so raw and honest because it is one of those things that when we look back and we can see what was going on at the time, having those five cups of coffee a day and that's all you were intaking in your body. Were there any other health issues that arose because of that? Like you said, you got sick after the soup diet, but was there anything else that you noticed? Because obviously, when you were younger and starving yourself, you were breaking out in a rash. But did anything like that happen during this eight-year struggle with your body image?

Tina : 19:07

Not that I can recall. It's hard for me to recall that time because I was a young mum as well. Do you know what I mean? So when I was in high school, I had to think about me and what was going on in my life, but at that time, I had so focused on the kids. And like I said, my ex-husband was working long, long hours. To be honest, no, I can't remember an impact apart from the fact that I was highly strung all the time and wasn't sleeping. I can't really remember any impact on me. But I would have I didn't do that as long as I did the starving as well. Do you know what I mean? Because like you can only do that for a certain period of time before you at least. So I probably would have done it at least two, three weeks straight, maybe four maximum, to be able to lose some weight. And then I would have then started trying to eat again. So it wasn't as long as the first time when I was 16, where I didn't eat for goodness knows how long.

Trudie Marie: 19:58

Obviously, after divorce is that's a stressful time in itself, anyway, going through a marriage breakup. I know firsthand what that's like. How did that then resolve itself? Like you're dealing with one, being a mum, two, going through this divorce, and three, with this whole body dysmorphia stuff. And then from what you've just said about the ADHD, you're dealing with whatever was going on with you mentally and how you actually coped on a day-to-day basis without being diagnosed. What was a change for you during that time, or like how did you cope during that time?

Tina : 20:36

Well, when I didn't have a choice, mum and dad again were still working, so I had to just, I just had to do it. You know what it's like as a mum, you just got to get in and do it. But when my marriage ended, I needed to get a job. So that was a big focus. A friend of mine introduced me to her, a friend of hers was a chiropractor, and they needed someone to run some wellness talks for them. So I jumped on board and he had a friend visiting from Canada, and we were pretty much told we needed to attend his wellness seminar. The funny thing is, I remember this day so clearly because it was the day that I actually decided to start starving myself again. Because after the marriage ended, I was eating, I did put on some weight, and any the moment I get any weight at all, the first thing is either doing some ridiculous diet or starving myself. So that day I decided I'm going to start starving myself. So I attended his wellness seminar. I didn't want to go, I was forced to go. So I sat at the back of the room, listening to this guy, going on and on. Oh, you have to eat healthy and you have to be mindful and you have to make sure that you look after your body. And I didn't care. I didn't care what he was saying. That was the day I decided that I wanted to starve myself so I could lose weight. That was all I was interested in. If he didn't tell me anything about losing weight, I'm not listening to you. Anyway, so he's going on and on and talking. And then he said something that made me stop and listen. He very slowly and clearly said to the audience, stop killing yourselves. And in that moment, I was back in the wings as a 16-year-old girl, listening to my dance partner say to the other girl, I don't think Tina's dance partner because she's too fat to live. But in that moment, gosh, this is so hard to say. Was I said to myself, Tina is too fat to live.

Trudie Marie: 23:00

And that's when I realized that's such a huge realization for you to have in that moment. It's not that you're too fat, it's not that a boy told you you were fat, or that your auntie said when you got older you would become fat. That you were able to recognize that you told yourself something completely different that had literally blindsided you for what possibly near on 10, 15 plus years.

Tina : 23:35

And that's when my journey of healing and discovering who I was, his words inspired me to really look at my life and stop killing myself. And yeah, and that's when my journey of healing and courage and resilience began.

Trudie Marie: 23:53

That's such a poignant moment in your life to actually going from there is something wrong with me to I have something to live for. That's a huge turnaround. And I just want to take a moment to acknowledge your courage to actually go there because most people don't. Most people will continue to fight or find a reason outside of themselves for what's going on, and the fact that you actually were able to look back and realize that you didn't want to do what you were doing anymore, and start a journey on of your own in a more positive direction. Kudos to you.

Tina : 24:46

Um gosh, I don't know where to go from there.

Trudie Marie: 24:50

That's okay. Take a moment to pause and just be really, I don't know, reflective of the journey you've been on. Because I and I want of my listeners to really comprehend that this is such a poignant, life-changing moment. You were sitting in a seminar that you said you were forced to go to, you said that you were going to starve yourself, and unless he had something to share about how you could lose weight and inside of starving yourself, then you didn't want to listen to him. But in one second, he said, Stop killing yourself. You had a huge aha light bulb moment, whatever you want to call it, that literally turned your life away. So, how did you move forward from there? What were some of the steps that you took to actually start looking after yourself and moving forward?

Tina : 25:49

Oh, so life's like took on a different meaning for me then. So I really wanted to discover my authentic self. So I started to do things that were that were really resonated with me. And again, still not knowing about the ADHD, but being my full, be fully expressing myself because if you have ADHD, you mask who you are. So I started singing and performing. I never thought I'd get back on stage ever again. And I actually performed in Baltimore, USA, in 2014, singing with the chorus. I got myself back into healthy sport, not obsessed, obsessive sport. And it's actually been 15 years. This year I've been at the same gym. It's like a chamber fitness, it's like a CrossFit gym. And then I wanted to reconnect with doing things for the community. So I was a volunteer at Radio Lollipop, and gosh, I've got so many stories about how that changed my life, having to show up and be myself to inspire the kids and have fun with them. So I had to leave behind the scared Tina and be the fun, fun, loving, and entertaining person.

Trudie Marie: 27:01

I love that because I too, back in the day, was a volunteer at Radio Realts. And it's one of the most beautiful, vulnerable experiences where you just put yourself outside of who you are and show up a hundred percent authentic because you're with kids and you they're not as judgmental as we are on ourselves. So I just wanted to share that because I totally get what that experience is like, having been a volunteer with radio long. And kudos to anyone who does that because it's such an incredible experience.

Tina : 27:37

But then life took a bit of a different turn. So I still love volunteering and miss that. So for three and a half years, I've been a St. John Ambulance volunteer, which is completely different, but again, it's helping people. I've always had this thing inside me where I just wanted to help and inspire people. So I'm still continuing to do that. The biggest lesson I found, and I think that really got me through this whole thing, is that I needed to understand one crucial part that was missing after I actually was became a reconvictive healer. So I was doing all these amazing things to get me through life. But the big piece for me that was missing was kindness. And so kindness is powerful. And it wasn't kindness to others, it was kindness to myself. There was so much toxic self-talk, there was so much self-harm. There were so many things that I still continued to do to myself, even though I was on this journey of recovery, I hadn't fully healed how I spoke to myself. And to be honest, every single day, even to this very day, I still have those thoughts that pop in my head. But I need to remind myself to be strong, to be courageous, and not to listen to those negative thoughts. And I get to choose. So that's what I've decided. I get to choose whether or not I'm not starving myself or anymore. I'm not talking to myself anymore like that. My life's not perfect. And I can tell you, like I said, I still have those moments where I think I want to get back into those old patterns. But I choose every day when I get up to have a better life for me, for myself, for my family, for everyone. So kindness was the last little piece that to the puzzle that helps me get through with my recovery.

Trudie Marie: 29:34

I think it's such an important piece of the puzzle to acknowledge and take responsibility for. Because honestly, if we spoke to other people the way we speak to ourselves, we would be shot down in public every day of the week because we are our own worst judges. We are self critical, we are just horrible people. To ourselves. And once you can start to internalize the kindness and speak more positive about yourself and see yourself through a different lens and really look in the mirror and love who we see, then that's a whole turning point in our lives to actually just own who we are the good, the bad, the ugly, as I say.

Tina : 30:27

Yeah, and that's so true because life is hard. Every single day it's hard, and I get to choose how I see my life. And it's it's funny that you said that you got to see yourself in the mirror. Ages ago, I was talking to a friend and she was watching her granddaughter looking at herself in the mirror, and she was smiling and laughing and kissing her own hand, and it just made me think when did we stop doing that and why did we stop doing that? It's pretty sad. So I think we all need to be like the kids, get back to it, and like I said, look at yourself in the mirror with that self-love.

Trudie Marie: 31:03

A hundred percent. And what are some of the things from a health and fitness perspective, as far as your dieting and your eating, or healthy eating and your physical exercise? What sort of things do you do now that are way more positive than the young yo dieting, the overexertion of physical activity?

Tina : 31:27

Well, like I say, I still crossfit, which I absolutely love, but that's more about community because there I've been there for 15 years. My coach says to me, Tina, don't ever stop being you. So it's a safe place for me where I can be that true authentic self. I'm gonna be really honest with you about my eating. I think I did a lot of damage to my body through the coffee and the extreme dieting. So I have extreme issues with eating food and getting sick, but I'm working with the naturopath at the moment. And the only thing that was working for me is eating raw food. And that's only because if I eat anything else, I just get sick, which is good. So she's got me eating three meals a day. Up until not long ago, I was still pretending I was being healthy by intermittent fasting, I was calling. Oh, like intermittent fasting. But yeah, using that as a little bit of a cover to because I've been in maintenance since 2008. I haven't been really big periods of time, but it's normal. I lapse, I get back on to being healthy. But for the last couple of months, I've been really good. And the raw food for me is really helping. It's not for everyone, but I think I've just done so much damage to my body over the years that raw is the only thing that I can eat at the moment. But I'm eating three meals a day and I'm getting my protein in. So everything is looking really good. It's really, really good.

Trudie Marie: 33:03

That's actually really good to hear that as much as you've got difficulties in what you can eat, the fact that you're looking at food in a more positive way and knowing that yes, raw food is a brilliant diet, it's eating healthy because there's no processed foods, there's no bad foods, so to speak, in Verda Commons, that you're putting into your body. So you're fueling your body in a good way. Because if I go back to what he said, you're killing yourself, you're literally redoing that with the overload of caffeine in your body with nothing else to sustain it. That now, when you're actually fueling your body, you're doing it in a really positive and healthy way. Does that help you look at food in a more positive light, even though there still may be that attachment to the weight you may gain as a result of eating? But is it a more positive experience for you?

Tina : 34:01

Yes, because now I look at it that I still get to do the things that I can do. Probably about six or months ago, I was in intermittent fasting and I was going to the gym and sobbing because I couldn't do a workout because I had no energy and I just felt so, so sick. So now I look forward to. I love being creative. That's my thing. So I'm like, oh, what are we going to try today? So I've been googling raw food recipes. I still have my chocolate, raw food chocolate. I still have maybe ice cream made out of frozen fruits. So I still have my crackers. I love crackers. So I'm I've got a dehydrator that's going on at the moment with all my dehydrated fruits and vegetables in there. So I'm actually more excited now than I have been about food for a very long time because one, I'm eating healthy and eating three meals. And the main thing is that I've got the energy to do the things that I love and I can keep doing them. And it's the food that gives me the ability to be able to do that.

Trudie Marie: 35:05

Oh, but that's good to hear. The other question I have is how has this impacted one, your boys towards food, like their relationship with food, and secondly, your relationship with them inside of this journey that you've been on?

Tina : 35:24

Oh, that's a really hard one to answer. I think my younger son is okay, but my elder son probably has been impacted by that and the divorce idea. I think he uses food as comfort to maybe to be able to deal with going through the divorce and a lot of things that that happened when he was younger, whereas my youngest one is okay. So he's good, but yeah, I would say that it's been hard on him.

Trudie Marie: 35:59

Yeah. And do you think that now that you've come to this point in your journey where you're starting to recognise all the things that have gone on and the patterns and how they have to change and how to live a better life, that you now have a comfort level to be able to have those hard conversations with your sons?

Tina : 36:18

I haven't even told my parents what I'm going through. So I'm thinking that probably soon I'm gonna have to have that conversation. But I kept it, I've kept this hidden from everyone. My partner that I've been with for six and a half years only recently found out that I had an eating disorder. So I kept that hidden from him as well. I don't think I'm there yet to have that conversation with them. I will, but I think because it's so raw at the moment, and I have just found the courage to even share it, that there's probably a little bit of extra little bit of healing I need to do with myself before I can have that conversation with my boys, as I'm being really honest here.

Trudie Marie: 37:07

And look, I totally get it. And part of that healing and part of that vulnerability in leading you towards those healthy conversations is actually being here on the podcast and sharing your story so vulnerably. Because one, not only is it going to help a potential listener who may have their own issues with bottom dysmorphia and their approach and relationship with food, but it's also going to give you an opportunity to be able to tell your story so generically, so open-handedly, where people can actually just listen and you don't have to keep retelling your story over and over and over again because that brings up a whole myriad of emotions and things that whereas people can hear your story via the podcast and then can come back to you and just ask questions where they feel like something is missing. So I think this is a really beautiful way of sharing vulnerably and then being open to what happens afterwards and having those conversations down the track.

Tina : 38:18

Sounds good. I did think of it that way, but that's probably great. Say, hey, listen to the podcast and then come back to me if you have any questions. I like it.

Trudie Marie: 38:26

Yeah, and sometimes that's I mean, the hard part when you've been through an issue is that you feel like I, and I know even from dealing with my own healing journey through complex post-traumatic stress, is that I don't necessarily want to keep telling the same story over and over and over again to every different person I meet. And it was one of the reasons I did a couple of podcasts myself in the very beginning was to be able to share my story and go, here it is. I don't have to keep retelling it. If you want to know more information or if you want to know a little bit more in that area, then please come to me and I'll answer the questions. But there is almost like a level of safety and ownership in laying it all out and then leaving it up to other people and how they want to move on from there. I think it'll be a really beautiful clearing for me to move forward.

Tina : 39:20

I always think back to if I hadn't attended that well in the seminar, I probably wouldn't be here today. And so that's what's given me the courage, one, to do the podcast. And this is something that I want to do with my life. Like this year, I thought there was just something missing. And that's why I'm hoping that I can maybe do this as a stepping stone into going, whether it's out to schools or to organizations or to workplaces or women's groups where I really want to be able to share my story. Because, like I said, if I hadn't attended that seminar, I wouldn't be here. So maybe if even one person can hear something in my talk, that could make a real difference to them. And they get to choose to live a life that's full of hope, courage. So that's what I really would like. My my next part of my journey of my life to look like.

Trudie Marie: 40:11

And what a beautiful part of your journey that is. Are you still working with the same chiropractor or have you moved on from that?

Tina : 40:19

No, unfortunately, he went back to Canada. So no, I didn't. I should actually reach out to him and share my story because I don't even think I told him that his friend had made such a big difference to my life. But I'm sure you can find people his ways on Facebook or Instagram. But I should really reach out to him and let him know that this is where I am and this is what I'm doing. He'd be so proud. He was the most amazing guy. And that's all he ever wanted was people to live an authentic, happy, healthy life.

Trudie Marie: 40:47

100%. That's I think all we want for each and every one of us is that we want to live a full, authentic life that is full of joy and love and kindness and compassion. And to be honest, the world probably needs more of that right now, if we look at the bigger picture.

Tina : 41:07

Absolutely.

Trudie Marie: 41:09

So, what does life look like now moving forward for Tina? Yes, you want to do your motivational speaking and share your story to assist others in their own journeys. And we never fully get the impact of the ripple effect that we do have when we do share our stories and what that leads to other people. But what's next for you?

Tina : 41:33

Oh gosh, it's I'm at the beginning stage of my my speaking. I'm looking at getting a website done, looking at maybe some other podcast opportunities, maybe offering some going around to a couple of schools and offering a couple of free talks to do there just to get my story out there and to build my confidence. It's almost like it's this exciting new chapter, but I'm not quite sure how to start it yet or what it's going to look like. So I to be honest, I can't really answer that question. I just know that I've taken the first step, and that was the hardest step because it was very, very easy for me to stay hidden in the shadows. One, because that's just something I did. I hid my eating disorder. Two, being ADHD, I just masked for so long who I was, but I don't know what the next thing is, apart from I'm always looking for something new and exciting to do. So I think opportunities will arise. So something might arise through doing this podcast or just meeting people and talking to people. I'm really open to the universe. Bring it on, bring on whatever is positive. I'm ready to accept it and make a difference to somebody else and hopefully and myself at the same time. Anything's possible.

Trudie Marie: 42:51

I love that. And I want to thank you so much for being here today and sharing your story so vulnerably. Because I know it takes a lot, like you said, when your parents and your boys don't really even know the full story, and for you to be able to share it so publicly and do it in a way that really provides connection. Because sometimes the hardest stories can be told in such a beautiful way if we just allow the space to do them. So thank you for being here.

Tina : 43:25

Thank you. Thank you for inviting me. I was just like, I'm glad I did it. I'm really glad that I did it. It just feels like that little bit of extra healing that's been done just by taking that step of sharing, sharing it with someone else.

Trudie Marie: 43:41

And thank you for sharing it with me. And I always love to finish the podcast by asking, what is the one thing you are most grateful for today?

Tina : 43:50

I would say I'm most grateful for the strength to choose my life every single morning because I get to choose the most wonderful experiences that come in the that come in the moment, and I get to choose to live a life that's full of love, happiness, and laughter.

Trudie Marie: 44:09

Thank you for tuning in to the Everyday Warriors podcast. If you have an idea for a future episode or a story you'd like to share yourself, then please reach out and message me, as I am always up for real, raw, and authentic conversations with other Everyday Warriors. Also, be sure to subscribe so that you can download all the latest episodes as they are published. And spread the word to your family and friends and colleagues so they can listen in too. If you're sharing on social media, please be sure to tag me so that I can personally acknowledge you. I'm always open to comment about how these episodes have resonated with you, the listener. And remember, lead with love as you live this one wild and precious life.