Getting Triggered

A song, a smell, a date on the calendar and suddenly your body is back in a moment you thought you’d left behind. We talk about triggers in a simple, human way, including why they can hit without warning and why the real turning point is what we do next.

We share a personal example of driving home at night and feeling anxiety rise, then unpack a reframe that changes everything, the event you are remembering is in the past, but the feelings are happening in the present. When we blend those two, we spiral. When we separate them, we get choice. That choice is not about suppressing emotion or pretending you are fine. It is about acknowledging what is there, letting it move through without judgement, and refusing to build a house in the pain.

We also break down practical grounding techniques for nervous system regulation and anxiety support, including breath, relaxing the jaw, using music, getting outside, and the five senses check-in. Over time, these small moves build emotional resilience and self-trust, like strengthening a muscle at the gym, so triggers still show up but they do not control your day.

If you are dealing with trauma triggers, grief waves, or that familiar urge to replay the past, press play and take a few minutes with us. Subscribe, share this with someone who might need it, and leave a review so more everyday warriors can feel seen and supported.

Thanks for listening in!

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Music Credit: Cody Martin - Sunrise (first 26 episodes) then custom made for me.

Disclaimer: The views, opinions, experiences and stories shared by guests on the Everyday Warriors Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the host, Trudie Marie, or the Everyday Warriors Podcast.

Guests are responsible for the accuracy of the information they choose to share and speak from their own personal experiences and perspectives. While every effort is made to provide a respectful and supportive platform for open conversation, the host accepts no responsibility or liability for the statements, opinions, advice, claims or recollections expressed by guests during a...

Transcript

A Quiet Moment To Breathe

Trudie Marie 0:00

This is Everyday Warrior Moments. Thank you, truly, for being here and for choosing to subscribe and support the podcast. It means more than you probably realise, and it allows me to keep creating these conversations and this space. This is a quieter moment between our guest episodes, a place to slow things down, to reflect and to take a breath. These episodes are just me, sharing thoughts, lessons, and gentle reminders as I continue to walk in my own journey too. So wherever you are right now, whether you're starting your day, ending it, or somewhere in between, let's take a few minutes together. Welcome back to Everyday Warrior Moments.

What Triggers Feel Like

Trudie Marie 0:50

Today I want to talk about something that almost everyone experiences at some point in their life, and that is triggers. Those moments that seem to come out of nowhere. It could be a song, a smell, a photograph, a place or a person's name, a date on the calendar, or a random memory that just suddenly appears when you least expect it. It's like one minute you're going about the day, and the next you're right back there. And if you've ever experienced trauma, grief, heartache or loss, bullying, abuse, anxiety or depression, or a significant life event, then you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. Triggers can be incredibly powerful, and it's interesting that it's often the trigger itself that is the problem. It's what happens next. It's the story we tell ourselves and how long we stay there for. It's whether we allow that moment to define the rest of our day, our week, our months, or even years. Lately,

Night Driving And Old Fear

Trudie Marie 2:02

just starting my new job in a town that's 60 kilometers away, I'm often driving home at nightfall, and this causes anxiety and takes me back to moments in my policing career when we had to drive to incidents in the dark. I find myself holding my breath, clenching my jaw, gripping onto the steering wheel. And I have to talk myself back into the moment. One of the biggest things I've learned is that healing doesn't mean you ever get triggered again. And I think sometimes we believe that if we've done enough work on ourselves, if we've journaled enough, gone to counseling, read the books, done the healing work, then somehow nothing should affect us anymore. But honestly, that's not realistic. We're humans and we've had human experiences. While some are beautiful, some are simply too painful. Some can be life-changing. The goal isn't to erase these moments, it's how we can respond to them differently when they show up.

Past Event Present Feelings

Trudie Marie 3:13

Because here's what I've discovered: you can't always stop the trigger, but you can influence what happens next. If you notice it, you can acknowledge it, you can feel it, but then you can move through it. And I don't mean suppressing those feelings. It doesn't mean pretending that you're fine, it doesn't mean pushing it away either. In fact, I found the opposite is true. The more we resist the emotions, the longer they stay with us. And the more we pretend that something didn't hurt, the more power it seems to have over us. Sometimes the healthiest thing we can do is simply say, ah, there it is. Or oh, I know what that is, or even I know why I'm feeling this. And then just allow ourselves to go through it, feel it, without judgment. Take me driving home in the dark, for instance. I have to tell myself I'm driving home and will be okay, that the road is safe and clear, that I can recall the memory, but it isn't happening now, that the feelings in my stomach are just a reminder to stay calm and be aware of my surroundings. The thing I remind myself is this: the event that you're thinking of is in the past. The feelings that you have are in the present, and they are two very different things. We cannot change what happened, we can't rewrite history, and we can't go back and have different conversations. We can't undo a diagnosis or undo heartbreak or undo a traumatic experience. But what we can do is choose how we respond right now, and that's where the power lies. In this moment, not yesterday, not five years ago, not 20 years ago, it's right now. Because what we do in this moment influences what comes next. Because if we stay trapped in the spiral, we often create more suffering for ourselves. We start to replay the story over and over and over. We revisit the pain and then we fuel the fear. And before we know it, we've lost hours or days to something that happened years ago. Now, I'm not saying to ignore your emotions, I'm just saying don't build a house there. Visit that feeling, start to understand it. Listen to what it's trying to teach you, but then just keep walking and moving forward. Because

Do Not Build A House There

Trudie Marie 6:18

spiraling doesn't serve us, it's awareness that serves us, it's action that makes a difference, and it's moving forward one step at a time. And I want to be clear about something. It is not something that happens overnight. There is no magic switch. I know there definitely wasn't for me, and there won't be for most people. The first time you do this, you may be triggered for hours or days, but the next time it might be shorter. Minutes, maybe an hour, 30 minutes, then 10, then even five. And then maybe it's just a moment of awareness before you move on. It will be different for each trigger. And why does it do this? It's because you are building emotional fitness, just like you would build muscle at the gym. That first workout definitely hurts. The second one is still hard, but eventually you become stronger. And the same applies emotionally. Every time you choose awareness over reaction, every time you choose presence over panic, and every time you choose compassion over self-judgment, you begin to strengthen that emotional muscle, you start to build resilience and you start to build trust in yourself, and you prove to yourself that you can survive those uncomfortable feelings, and eventually you stop fearing them so much.

Grounding With Breath And Senses

Trudie Marie 8:00

Just like I do driving in the dark. If I catch myself holding my breath, I try to take three big deep breaths in and out. If I catch myself clenching my jaw, I try to do mouth exercises or put a song on that I can sing to. Replace that hand and then repeat it on the other side. I just choose to not stay driving in a hyper-vigilant kind of way. And the one thing that has helped me tremendously in any situation is coming back to my senses, literally. And asking yourself, what can you see? What can you hear? What can you touch? What can you smell? What can you taste? Because when a trigger pulls us into the past, grounding is what pulls us back into the present. And the present moment is usually much safer than our mind is trying to convince us that it is. Where I can, I simply go outside. Just standing there, looking at the sky, feeling the breeze, taking a walk, taking a few deep breaths. I get to remind myself where I am. Not where I was, but where I am right now. And honestly, that distinction matters. So if you're dealing with a trigger right now, I want you to remember this. You're not broken. You're simply responding to something that really mattered, something that impacted you, something that left an imprint. And while that imprint may always exist, it doesn't have to control your life. You can acknowledge it, you can learn from it. You can carry it, but don't make it a burden. The past may explain part of your story, but it doesn't get to write the rest of it. That part is still yours to do. You can write a new chapter. And every day you have another opportunity to choose what happens next.

The Question To Journal On

Trudie Marie 10:28

So today I want to leave you with a simple question. What trigger keeps showing up for you? And instead of asking, how do I make it disappear? Perhaps ask, what is it trying to teach me? I want you to sit with that, reflect on it, journal if you have to. Come back to yourself and remember, everyday warriors don't give up. They continue to rise. Thank you for being part of the Everyday Warrior community and for supporting the podcast. It really means

Share It With Someone Else

Trudie Marie 11:21

a lot. If something in this episode stayed with you, I invite you to share it a message, a post, a simple recommendation. It helps more people feel seen and supported. And don't forget the Everyday Warriors podcast is always there for deeper conversations and real stories from around the world. Take care and I'll see you again in the next moment.