Figuring It Out

That feeling of being “behind” can hit out of nowhere, even when life looks fine on paper. I sit down for a quieter solo moment to talk about the pressure so many of us carry. The belief that by a certain age we should have it all sorted, feel confident and know exactly what comes next. Spoiler: that invisible timeline is not a rulebook, it is a weight and it can keep us stuck. 

I reflect on how every season of life asks something different of us, from figuring out who we are at school, to building a career, to raising kids, to watching relationships change and parents' age. For many of us, midlife brings another layer through perimenopause and menopause, when the body shifts and control feels shaky. We do not reinvent ourselves once. We do it again and again, sometimes by choice, sometimes because life forces our hand through things like career change or medical retirement. 

We also get real about uncertainty. Our brains crave certainty and guarantees, but life does not offer them and waiting to feel ready can quietly become procrastination. I share the reminder that confidence rarely comes before action, it usually arrives afterwards, as we take small steps, learn, adapt and build resilience. 

If you need a calm nudge to trust yourself and begin, press play, then subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more everyday warriors can find this space.

Thanks for listening in!

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Music Credit: Cody Martin - Sunrise (first 26 episodes) then custom made for me.

Disclaimer: The views, opinions, experiences and stories shared by guests on the Everyday Warriors Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the host, Trudie Marie, or the Everyday Warriors Podcast.

Guests are responsible for the accuracy of the information they choose to share and speak from their own personal experiences and perspectives. While every effort is made to provide a respectful and supportive platform for open conversation, the host accepts no responsibility or liability for the statements, opinions, advice, claims or recollections expressed by guests during a...

Transcript

A Quieter Moment And Thanks

Trudie Marie 0:00

This is Everyday Warrior Moments. Thank you, truly, for being here and for choosing to subscribe and support the podcast. It means more than you probably realise and it allows me to keep creating these conversations and this space. This is a quieter moment between our guest episodes, a place to slow things down, to reflect and to take a breath. These episodes are just me, sharing thoughts, lessons, and gentle reminders as I continue to walk in my own journey too. So wherever you are right now, whether you're starting your day, ending it, or somewhere in between, let's take a few minutes together.

The Pressure To Have Life Sorted

Trudie Marie 0:48

Hello and welcome back to Everyday Warrior Moments. Today I want to talk about something I think that we all wrestle with at some stage of our lives, and that is the idea that we should have life figured out by now. I know for me at 50 that there is this expectation of what this stage of my life should look like. But whether you're 25, 35, or even 65, there always seems to be this invisible timeline that we are trying to keep up with. It's like we should know what we're doing, we should know what comes next. We should have confidence and certainty in our lives. But then I got to thinking that perhaps not knowing is actually part of life's journey. And I've realized that over the years, in every season of my life, it has asked something different of me. It asked something different of all of us. It's like when we're younger and at high school, we're kind of figuring out who we are. We're testing boundaries with our friends, boundaries with our teachers and our parents. We're trying to figure out who we are in the world. And then once we leave school, we're starting careers. And whether that's going to university and getting a degree or starting a full-time job and then trying to get promoted throughout the ranks of that corporation. And somewhere in that journey, we're then asked to start families, get married, have children, you know, the white picket fence, buy a house, have a dog, all those types of things. And then we come to be looking after everybody else, making sure everybody else is okay around us. And one day we wake up and everything has changed. Right before our very eyes. Like we're so busy on this hamster wheel called life that before we know it, and I can say this for myself, that my kids have grown up. I've had careers end or change, relationships evolve, friends we've had moved in and out of our life. We could be onto our second marriage. And then we look at our parents, and our parents have aged, and we're now having a more important role in their lives supporting them. For those of us like me going through perimenopause

Reinvention And Living With Uncertainty

Trudie Marie 3:30

or full menopause, our bodies start to change and we have no control over that. And then it's like we're at the beginning again. And I ask, the beginning of what? Because what does life look for us right now? And I honestly think we underestimate how many times in our life we have to reinvent ourselves. It's like we think that once we set on our life path from school, and whether that's whatever job we take on and whatever family life we decide on, that that's it. We only have to invent ourselves once, and that's who we become. But it doesn't. At every stage of our life, it's like we reinvent ourselves over and over again. Now, sometimes that's by choice. You just reach a certain point in your life and you're like, okay, I'm done. I need a change here. But then sometimes life chooses it for us. I know I never expected to be at the end of like medical retirement and have that decision made for me that I had to choose a different life path moving forward. And inside of all of that, the one thing I have noticed is that uncertainty makes us uncomfortable. Because let's be real, our bodies crave and our brains crave certainty. We want guarantees in life. We want to know that the decisions we've made are the right ones. But if we look at it in reality, life never gives us that. I know most of the biggest decisions I've ever made have come without certainty. You just have to take one step at a time and just keep putting one foot in front of the other. And eventually, somewhere along the line, the path reveals itself. I know in recent years I've had to do this multiple times. Obviously, being medically retired from WA police, I had to start a new career. And that was really tough. Like actually having the confidence to open myself up to starting something new at 50 and wondering if anybody would take me on, wondering if I still had the skills from before I started police work that I would be accepted back into the corporate world. I also look at my life socially, and my husband and I have actually moved three times in the past five years because his work and him being in the police force, and that every time I've had to start in a new house, in a new community, in a new social circle, and look at how that goes for me. Now, every time there has been uncertainty and it's felt uncomfortable not knowing how life is going to turn out or how that is going to look. But at the same time, especially having done the bib track, I know that I can do the hard things. I know I can be resilient and adaptable. I know that I can get creative, and I can also have courage to do things I didn't think I would be able to.

Action First Then Confidence

Trudie Marie 6:56

And maybe today you're sitting there waiting to see if you feel ready to take that next step in your life. Seeing if you're ready to apply for that new job and leave an old one. Ready to take on a new relationship or a new life where your children have grown up and how that looks from here. But the truth is, you may never feel ready. And I've come to know that confidence rarely comes before action, it usually arrives afterwards because we don't get confidence and then go and do whatever it is we think we're doing. We take a leap of faith, and then once what we expect happens, happens, we then start to feel confident and are able to do something. Every small step along the way will teach us something, and every awkward new beginning gives us life experience to take into that next chapter or that next stage of life.

Questions To Ask Then Breathe

Trudie Marie 8:04

So I want to ask you today, or have you sit back and ponder these questions? What are you waiting for? What do you need permission to do? Because often that permission is probably needing to come from yourself. What are you expecting certainty in before you take the first step? Do you need to actually take that leap of faith? And then what if you simply trusted yourself to begin? Like trust that inner knowing, that gut feeling that this is the right path, and then just see where that path takes you. Because I think if we can sit back and ponder these questions, then we one might be willing to give things a go more than we actually thought. So now I want you to take a deep breath in and let it go. Come back to yourself and remember the everyday warriors don't give up. They continue to rise. Thank you for being part of the Everyday Warrior community and for supporting the podcast. It really means a lot. If something in this episode stayed with you, I invite you to share it a message, a post, a simple recommendation. It helps more people feel seen and supported. And don't forget the Everyday Warriors podcast is always there for deeper conversations and real stories from around the world. Take care and I'll see you again in the next moment.