It Got Dim- Not Gone

Have you ever looked at a picture of your younger self and barely recognized the joy on your face?

That happened to me this week.

In this shower sprinkle episode I get real about the moments that dim our inner light — the embarrassing drive through order, the intercom slip in elementary school, the skating rink that broke her heart — and how those moments quietly talk us out of showing up as ourselves.

This one is personal. This one is raw. And this one is for anyone who has been carrying something for way too long.

In this episode I talk about:

✨ Why your inner spark never actually goes out — it just gets dim 

✨ The childhood moments that quietly silenced my voice

 ✨ How words and experiences live in our bodies longer than we realize

 ✨ What it looks like to relight your spark without becoming someone new

 ✨ The reminder that it is not gone — it is just waiting to be turned back up

"It is not becoming someone new. It is remembering who you were before your light got dim."

If your inner light feels a little low right now — this episode is for you. 💛

You can find me at:
https://www.instagram.com/cataton/
https://www.facebook.com/casey.taton/

You can find what sparks me at:
https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1AgeRtyojY/
https://www.instagram.com/lmbdcelebrations/

Music by: Jason and Ashley Scheufler
Artwork by:  https://www.instagram.com/graphx_ink/

Transcript

0:00

Your inner light isn't gone. It just got dim somewhere along the way Hey, friends. Welcome to the Inner Spark Podcast. I'm your host, Casey Tatem. If you're looking to hear stories of transformation and personal growth, this podcast is for you. My guest and I will be sharing those sparking moments that has changed them into living a more fulfilling, authentic life. I'm so excited for you to hear each unique story. So sit back, relax, and let's get started. Hey, friends. Welcome back to the Inner Spark podcast. I'm your host, Casey Tatem. This week is a shower sprinkle on The reminder of that inner spark, that inner light we all have in it. Sometimes it goes dim, and the reminder that it's not lost. It didn't go out. It just got dimmed out along the way of growing. Here's the reason why I wanna talk about this. I was looking at some pictures of me, and some pictures came up of me when I was little, and wow. I just stood and looked at one, and I was just like,"Oh, my gosh. I'm so lit up, and so just full of joy," and, these big blue eyes are just, like, staring back in their little swimsuit doing what little Casey loves. And in another one, I was standing on a podium and winning at a figure skating. I did artistic roller skating, and I won the gold medal. It's just standing there and posing and with a smile on my face of, just doing something that I had loved. And I've been reflecting back on those things and things that... just really connecting with where did I lose myself? Where did I lose the fun? And if you listen to my last episode, I talked about, my fun meter, and where is it at? And, really how can I reconnect to joy? And noticing, like, what drains me. So I was really just tapping into, what do I truly stand for? And, what do I really lovingly stand against? And I noticed a couple things. The things that I really stand up against got me fired up, and I was like,"Woo. I have some really strong feelings. Can I say these in a lovingly way?" And to be honest, I had to settle my nervous system down so I could share what I lovingly stand against. And remember that, we all have different opinions and different things, and what I stand against isn't what you stand against, and that's okay. I also got to look at the things I love and what makes me, me, and to bring that light back in and, relight that light up. And I think it's just all the work I do combined, and I had never really put this together. I was like, I do parties for kids in the hospital and I love to speak and I'm coaching some ladies in podcasting. But what do all these things I do have in common? And really, it's finding that inner light and knowing that it's not burnt out and it's not gone. We just need to be reminded that somewhere something happened or someone said something, or maybe we even went through an embarrassing moment, and that light became dull. And it was funny because I had a conversation with my niece about being embarrassed, and I was so fast to catch these things that happened thirty, forty years ago. I'm forty-two, so wow, like when I was in elementary school, there were things I said. And then I could recall a situation in high school that I went to order, and we used to get out of high school for lunch, and we went to a drive-through and I was driving that day. All of my friends got in the car and they wanted a cheeseburger. And I ordered and I said,"Cheese burgers." And the lady laughingly said back to me,"You would like a cheese booger?" Everybody in my car started laughing and I could feel myself. And even when I talk about, I was telling my niece this story about embarrassing moments, how we all have them, I could feel myself like tighten up and I was like,"Oh." And when I still talk about it, I still remember sitting in that drive-through space ordering and being like,"I'm never driving again. I'm never ordering again." I was so embarrassed. The lady said it like in a laughing manner, but it's just those instances when we think about the things that we've been through or something and it's dulled. It dulled us. Like it held a resistance in my body where, and I'm gonna be honest, if you think I order cheese burgers now, I don't. And forever, I wouldn't eat them because I was always like,"I might say a cheese booger again." And you know, me and my niece had a good laugh about this, but it's just interesting how when you say this, you have to tell your nervous system like,"It's okay." And I guarantee you, the people that were in my car, they probably don't remember this, but it's just interesting the words that we say and the events that happen over our life can somewhere dim our inner light. When we can come back to those pieces and be like,"Okay You know, Casey, cheeseburger, cheeseburger, however you wanna say it, it is kind of funny. And I probably would've laughed if someone else would've said it, not unconsciously s- thinking that,"Man, this is gonna stick with her forever." So it's just interesting the words we speak to ourselves and the things our body remembers. I also remember this story. When I was in elementary school, we used to read, the school menu. I remember it was such a big deal, like, oh, you could leave class and go read the menu over the intercom for the whole school, and it was such an exciting moment. I even remember practicing'cause I didn't wanna mess it up, and I remember refried beans were on the menu. It was, like, taco day. And somehow I said,"Refried brains." And I could feel the embarrassment, and my face turn just that beet red. When I get embarrassed, I just get beet red instantly, and I could feel it, and I didn't wanna go back to my classroom because I knew, the kids were gonna laugh, and they did. And I remember the tears rolling down my face, and I was like, I'm not speaking out loud again." And that was something that happened in elementary school. And then to think that I'm 42, and I remember that so clearly, and I remember an event when I was in high school where I said the wrong word, and people laughed at me. You think over time it starts to dim our voice, and it honestly as I say this, my voice is, like, changing because it's like I still clearly remember it so well and, the feelings that came along with it. Telling my niece, She laughed about it, and she thought it was funny, and like we still, we-- Now when we go to order lunch, and she's like, And Casey, are you gonna order a cheeseburger?" And now I can laugh about it, but it's just the things that we hold in our body, and you think,"Wow, I have this many years of things that I've been through, and if I'm still holding onto them, what is it holding me back from? And it's dimming that light in me." I just wanted to share because when I saw that picture of little me, all these things, these emotions started coming up, and when I had that conversation with my niece, she was talking about being embarrassed and, when people raise their voice or just an experience she had, and I was like... as I say this, my heart could definitely relate to this little girl in me that was like,"Yeah, I remember that feeling. I remember being embarrassed. I remember being yelled at playing a sport." And it wasn't- Someone doing it out of harshness or meanness, someone just coaching me, but me being embarrassed because they said it so loud and the tone they said it in. It happened to me in figure skating, and coach called me out over the intercom in front of everybody at practice one day, and it shut down my nervous system, and I remember leaving the rink crying and saying I'm never coming back. And I didn't never go back. I just remember being embarrassed and not even knowing that he was talking to me, I quit skating that day. It's just the power of the words and the things that dim our light in us, where this big inner spark we have starts to become lower and lower and lower, We stop speaking our truth. And so we get to relight that light in us, and we get to sit with where are these old stories coming from? Why am I afraid to share my voice? That's why I do a podcast, is to share my voice, and just wanted to tell you these stories because it was just so important when I saw these pictures and these memories that came up, and then speaking with my niece about embarrassing moments. It's just that outside noise and that, the things that have, impacted us in such a big way that we've held on to. And so I wanna tell you, as I've been doing nervous system work and letting it go and telling myself,"No, my voice, I have very strong opinions about speaking my voice and standing up for the things that I believe in." I truly love helping people, and I love helping and connecting and holding the space to people when things are really difficult to refind that light within them. I also have to remember that my light has to be lit up, too. The reflection was just like, wow, look at the joy in that little girl. How can we keep that spark lit? And when it goes out, how do we remind people, that spark can be relit any time. It's not becoming someone new. It's remembering who you were before your light, before that spark got dim on us. So if your inner light may feel a little dim right now, I want you to be reminded that inner light, it's still there. It's not gone. Whatever that may be, speaking your voice, figuring out what you love, figuring out what you stand against, and really being able to speak it. Maybe it's showing up in different places. I want everyone to reconnect with that inner light with them, and it's the thing that lights me up is when people have that aha moment, and they've done something hard, and their face just lights up, and it's like,"Yes!" That's that inner light, that inner joy. They're being honest with themselves. They're speaking their truth. You can see the energy, and we just wanna reconnect with that inner version of us. I just wanna send you all so much love and tell you that it happens to all of us. That inner light, it isn't gone. We just need to relight that inner spark. Thank you for tuning in to another episode. I hope today's story inspired you to embrace your own journey of growth and change. Remember, transformation isn't always easy, but it's always worth it. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review. If you found something that sparked you in this episode and may spark a friend, I encourage you to go share it with them. If you have your own story you would like to share, I would love to hear it, so please reach out to me. Until next time, friends, go have some fun and let those sparks fly.