Cracked Open: My Health Journey, Healing & Purpose

In today’s episode I’m sharing a deeply personal and powerful conversation that originally aired on my dear friend Dana Hunter Fradella’s podcast, Girls Who Recover (now Her Next Level Podcast). This episode was recorded in the early days of both of our podcasting journeys, and it became one of the most pivotal conversations I’ve ever had about my life, my health, and my healing.

At the time, I was still in the thick of processing my own story — navigating a rare illness, searching for answers, and trying to understand what happens when your body stops working the way it’s supposed to. What unfolded in this conversation was raw, honest, and emotional in a way I hadn’t fully experienced before publicly sharing my journey.

Dana has a gift for holding space that allows people to go deeper than they thought they could. In this interview, she gently guided me into the truth of my experience — the fear, the frustration, the moments of feeling dismissed, and the long road toward diagnosis, healing, and hope.

In this episode, we talk about:
✨ Being dismissed and misunderstood in the medical system
✨ The emotional toll of chronic illness
✨ Rock bottom moments and learning to ask for help
✨ Trusting your inner voice when no one else understands
✨ The power of support, community, and resilience
✨ How my healing journey led to purpose and founding Little Moments Big Dreams Celebrations

This conversation marked a turning point in my story. Looking back now, I can see how much I’ve grown since this moment — not just physically, but emotionally, spiritually, and in how I now show up in the world.

I’m so grateful to Dana for holding space for me in one of the most vulnerable chapters of my life, and for helping me share a story that continues to ripple outward today.

Connect with Dana Hunter- Fradella https://www.instagram.com/danahunterfradella/

You can find me at:
https://www.instagram.com/cataton/
https://www.facebook.com/casey.taton/

You can find what sparks me at:
https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1AgeRtyojY/
https://www.instagram.com/lmbdcelebrations/

Music by: Jason and Ashley Scheufler
Artwork by:  https://www.instagram.com/graphx_ink/

Transcript

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Have you ever had a conversation with someone that you feel like really cracked you open? Stay tuned and listen in Hey, friends. Welcome to the Inner Spark Podcast. I'm your host, Casey Tatem. If you're looking to hear stories of transformation and personal growth, this podcast is for you. My guest and I will be sharing those sparking moments that has changed them into living a more fulfilling, authentic life. I'm so excited for you to hear each unique story. So sit back, relax, and let's get started. Hey, friend. Welcome back to the Inner Spark Podcast. I'm your host, Casey Taten. Today's episode is a little different and honestly, a little more vulnerable. Recently, I've been reflecting on my podcasting journey, how far I've come, and how much of my story I've truly shared over the years. There's one conversation that I keep coming back to, and it's an interview I did with my dear friend, pod sister, Dana Hunter Fredella, on her podcast back in January of 2025. At the time, her show was called Girls Who Recover. It's now known as Her Next Level Podcast. And this is one of my very first podcasts I had ever been on as a guest, and I just wanna thank Dana. Dana has a gift for creating space that makes you feel safe enough to tell the truth. And during this conversation, she gently cracked me open in a way I had never experienced before. I remember listening back afterwards and thinking,"Oh my gosh, I really shared it all." In this episode, we talk about my health journey, fighting for answers, hitting rock bottom, and ultimately how those experiences changed the way I see life and led me to the world and the work I do today. I've shared pieces of my story before, but this conversation I feel goes much deeper. Looking back now, I can also see how much I've grown and healed since this interview, and I'm so grateful to Dana for holding space for me in such a raw and honest way. So today, with Dana's blessing, I'm replaying this conversation here on the Inner Spark that I hope you can listen to with an open heart and maybe see pieces of your own journey and mine, too. Welcome, everybody, to the Girls Who Recover podcast. I am so excited for you to... And to, for you to meet today's guest. She is a rock star, she is a gorgeous miracle, and she has a massive setback followed by a gorgeous comeback. And so Casey and I met this year as a part of a mastermind of bad, baddie, I'll just say this, baddie women who are creating ripples throughout the world via our own podcast. And so I'm excited to share with you Casey Tatson. And Casey, welcome to the show. I've been so excited since you said yes, because your story is so powerful, and it needs to be shared far and wide. So I'm so thrilled for the audience of Girls Who Recover to meet you. So tell us about you, Casey. Tell us all the things. First, thank you for that beautiful introduction. You're magic. Um, I think you made me blush. I, um, well, I thought I lived a normal life, right? What everybody calls normal. I used to be, um, an operating room surgical tech, and, um, my life came to a stop. Um, I, I have a rare condition, and I didn't know. I fought for a good two years, um, trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Mm-hmm. So, hm, sorry. Um- Yeah. Can I pause you just there for a second? Absolutely. Tell us where you are in the world. Tell us what age you were at this time. So you've said you lived, you thought you lived a normal life. You were a surgical tech. Yeah, I- Give us some context. Like, how did you get to be a surgical tech? And tell- Yeah give us, like, a cou- a minute or so leading up to that moment. Um, I loved the medical field. I... All my family was medical. I loved all things medical. I went through... I worked in a doctor's office, like, when I was, like, 18. Like, I started young, and I just, I loved it. It was magic. I was like, this is the most amazing thing, to be able to help people, right? Like, I- Yeah I loved the operating room. It was fast, hype, you know, and- Just always going. Um, so I was in my 30s. I'm 41 now, so I was in my 30s. Yeah, girl. God bless the 40s. Can I get a- Yeah amen for the 40s? Yes. The best years, right? Yeah. Yes, indeed. So you're in your 30s, and then did you say where you, what's, what, where you were living? Where you're- I, I'm in- Same place you live now? Yeah, I'm in Kansas. I grew up in Wichita, Kansas. Still live here. Kansas. Yeah. Okay, so Kansas. You love the medical field, working in a doctor's office. By the way, all my family's in medicine as well, so love that we have that in common. Yeah. Um, I did not actually love it, so that was not my path, but I'm so glad you found yours. I had to wander for a while. Uh, so you've worked in a doctor's office, 18, living the dream. Mm-hmm. Loving what you're doing, loving the operating room. Yeah. And then get us to 18 to where you were at 30, in your 30s. So in my 30s I was working in the operating room. I loved college, loved learning everything medical, and, um, all of a sudden I was, um... W- my 30s were great. I th- you know, I thought they were great. I had a, you know, live... Have your house, a car. Like, that's, that's what you dream of, or what I dreamed of is, like, having this good job. Like, life is just good. And I started getting sick, and I was unable to eat. Mm. And no one really knew what was wrong with me. Um, I went through- What did, what did it feel... Like, what did that feel like when you were sick? Was it mind, body, spirit, all the things? Like, what were... How did you... How did that show up for you? Yeah. It wa- it was all the things. Mm. I would go to doctors and be like,"I can't eat, and I love food." Mm. And they misdiagnosed me and basically told me I was, like, crazy. And, like, the feeling in your heart when you get told that is like... I l- remember looking at them saying,"What, what do you mean? I have this job I love. Like, I have this amazing life. Like, what do you mean I'm ma- like, I'm making this up?" Like- Mm-hmm I'm stopping my own life? And I didn't get it. Um- Can we just pause... Can we just pause here, Casey? Yeah. Because I'm sure that you're gonna get here because of the gorgeous work that you ha- are doing in the world, but, like, I... This is a thing, right, that women specifically- Yeah and women of color mostly are not listened to. Uh-huh. They're not believed. No. Whenever there's not, like,"Oh, I can't give you a exact diagnosis," the f- th- then it's you. Yeah. It's gotta be something going on... Did they say something going on in your mind? Oh, yeah. Did they try to blame your psychology? Yeah. Yeah. 100%. So that... Can we just, like, hold space for this as being a thing, a real thing? I have s- friends and clients and all sorts of women specifically- Yes who- Yeah go to people that we're s- supposed to be able to trust, knowledgeable people, who at least we might be able to say, like,"We're not sure, but we're gonna figure it out." Right. And when you work in the medical field, you're like,"I trust you guys. I work side by side with you guys." Ugh. So my heart stopped. Like, I, I was like,"No one is listening to me. I can't get anyone to hear me." Like, the feeling inside me was like, whoa, I think I'm crazy. Like, what is happening to me? Whoa. I'm a lot- Okay. So- Yeah no one's listening to me. Right. I can't get anyone to hear me. Right. And then, uh, if you're listening, I want you to know she touched her heart when she said,"Maybe I'm crazy." Right? So there's- Right gaslighting. Yeah. And this just isn't in the medical field, although it's so easy to spot there. Yeah. And how did that feel? It was horrible. What was it like? Yeah. Yeah. I felt like my whole world stopped and crumbled before my eyes. Yeah. S- and then not only are you being told that what you're experiencing isn't a- isn't real. Is that what I'm hearing? Yeah. Isn't real. Yeah. But also, you can't eat, which means your brain isn't... Your brain and body are s- have stopped working on your behalf. Now they're just working to survive. Yeah. What was that like? Um, it w- it was, it was exhausting. They basically were like,"Hey, we can put a feeding tube in you. Your stomach has stopped." And I was like, that doesn't just happen. This isn't real life. Like, that doesn't just happen to people. And I was like, absolutely not. I'm not, I'm not settling for this. Mm. Um, I, I fought them to the core on I don't believe you. Well, after I felt the emotions, cried, was like, I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know what I'm doing. No one is hearing me. They're just targeting me with all these things that aren't... I d- I'm like, I don't think they're true. And then I'm like, are they true? And then I was like, no, I didn't stop myself from eating. Like, I love food. Mm. And so- Wait. Am I hearing that they claimed that maybe you were stopping, like you had an eating disorder or something? You were- Yes experiencing that? Okay. Yeah. So they did, um, they did some testing, and they actually had a test that showed my stomach wasn't, had stopped. But, um, they also at the same time were like,"You're choosing not to eat, and you're making your... Or you're going, you're making yourself throw up." And I was like,"What?" Um,'cause those were things that I had never experienced. I know they are real conditions. Mm-hmm. But I was like,"Why would I do that?" Like, I'm living this good life. Why would I make myself do that? So I didn't understand it. Yeah. And- So there's so many layers, right? Yes. So one is your, your body is not, not working on your behalf. Right. Something going on. You're going to the people that you're running the race with- Yes knee-to-knee with, in the, in the trenches of medicine. They're m- it sounds like m- misdiagnosing you- Mm-hmm turning the lever back on you, and then you're... There's this underlying feeling of like, am I crazy? Am I star- like, am I contributing to this? I- is it a- Yeah conscious choice? That feels like a lot, Casey. It, it was a lot. Really heavy. I... Yeah. I, I went into d- like, a depression of like, my world is over, and I remember asking my mom and, like, sitting with my mom and being like,"Mom, am I... Did I do this to myself?" Like, w- where did I go wrong? And my mom's like,"I've, I've sat by your side day after day, like, watching you fight this." She was like,"I, I don't know, like, what's happening." And I said,"I'm not getting a feeding tube, Mom." And I know a doctor looked at me, and she said,"Okay. I'll dismiss you, but I'll see you back in a month." And I remember looking at her and saying,"No. No, I won't." And she said,"Yeah, your body's gonna stop." And I said,"No, ma'am, it's not." Mm."Thank you." And we left that hospital, and I, I didn't know what to do, and my mom looked at me, and she said... I'm, I'm so thankful for, like, a family that stayed beside my, beside me this whole time. Yeah. Um, I was like,"Mom, I've hit rock bottom. I don't, I don't know what to do." And she's like,"This fight isn't over." She's like,"You just told her no, and that you were going to be fine." And so I did. I went to, um, the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. Can I... Let me... I have a couple questions. Yeah. Can I... Can we pause? Okay. So the first one is, something that I heard you say a couple minutes ago was you had to feel some feelings, right? Yeah. Like, you went through this period. Can you j- can you speak into what that looked like, how you did that?'Cause I think for a lot of listeners, that's not a thing that we... Like, that's not a thing. It's like, oh, we're gonna just suck it up and g- go and fight, but it sounds like you honored- Yeah you honored that. Can you speak into that? I went through, I think, all the feelings. I went through, um, anger, madness at the world. Why did this happen to me? I remember questioning,"God, why, why me? What, what did I do wrong? Why do I deserve this?" Um, and then I went through the feelings of just I hate this world. Like, mad angry. Yeah. Um, I think I, I went through the feelings of feeling sorry for myself, and then when I think I got through that, I was like,"I'm not done. I'm coming back." Like,"I'm not living this life, and they are not going to stop me." Yeah. Like, somehow this inner determination was like,"I'm not done here." Yeah. I always wonder, like, w- if we didn't give ourselves space to feel the things that you just f- mentioned, so anger- Oh, yeah blame, hate. I mean, hate's a strong word, but like- Yeah dis- dislike, strong dislike. Dislike, yeah. And self-pity. Yeah. And then, and then once those, you invited them to the table it sounds like. You said,"I'm gonna feel these things." Maybe you didn't choose that, maybe you just felt them. Yeah. Yeah. And then once they had their chance at the table, they could leave- Yeah and give rise to what I then heard you say, which was this decision, this determination to, okay, oh, no. No, no, we won't. Oh, no, they won't. Oh, no, this won't. Yeah. Can you sp- can you... Let's magnify that moment. Like, was there a moment, and can you tell us about it, and what did that feel like in your body? Like, just the decision moment where you went from feeling sorry for yourself to,"Oh, hell no." I, I think I went through so much anger towards people. Like, you don't get to tell me this. Like, of course I cried, but then one day I think I just, like, snapped and I was like, sh- they don't get to tell me that my life is over. Yeah. They don't get to tell me that this is the answer when, like, they don't know the answer, so they're leaving this answer on me, this diagnosis, and just saying,"Here you go. Live like this." And I was like, I'm not living like that. And it made me angry, and I was just like, I, I'm doing something else. There's, there has to be more. Can I just elevate this idea that you were angry, and that resulted in you making a fierce, determined decision to do something different? And I wanna give rise to that because oftentimes, I know in my own experience, I start to feel angry, and then there's this voice that's like,"Don't feel angry. It's not okay to feel angry. Like, get yourself together. It's fine. Like, there's no reason to feel angry." And I'm like,"I don't even know who that is talking to me." Yeah. But what happens for me, and I don't know if this is your ca- you... sounds like you didn't let this happen to you, is that I will shove that anger in, like, a little pocket, and then I'll start to have heartburn later, you know, and wonder why. Yep. No, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, but you gave voice to your anger. You allowed yourself to feel that feeling, and as a result of that, it fueled you making a decision- Yeah to do something differently. Okay, so let's go there. Let's go. You decided. You're like,"I don't care what you have to say, I know." Like, what was the truth that you knew at that time? Um- Your inner was it inside of you telling you. Yeah. I was like,"This isn't right. This, there is more happening, um, and I'm gonna get answers. I'm not settling for this life." And so I called the Mayo Clinic. Um, I traveled there. I spent weeks doing testing. Um, I, I got to see all the fun counselors that were like,"You've been diagnosed with what?" And I'm like,"Oh," all the red flags. And they're, like, looking at me and they're like,"Well, I'm gonna tell you that we don't believe those things are true, because you have this, like, determination and fight in you that if someone had that going on, they don't have those things." And I somehow met with this doctor. I- it was a God thing. He's like a world-renowned doctor. I had no idea when I saw him, and he was like... it was like sitting down talking to my grandfather. Mm. Um, I remember walking in and I was... I just told him my story and I started crying, and it was the first time I felt heard by a doctor. And he was so reassuring and so calm, and just let me cry. And my mom was with me. We both cried. And I... and he was like,"Well, we have a plan. This is what we're going to do. And so I need you to do these things, do these testings, and then come back and revisit me." So let me pause you just for a second,'cause something, um- Both Casey and I are mentored by Cathy Heller, the goddess of all spiritual growth and receiving abundance. Yeah. And I was reading her book, Abundant Ever After, this morning, and there was this line that stuck, that stuck out to me, Casey, that I just want to share with you. And she said,"We only... We can only receive what we have the courage to ask for." She's all about, like, how much, how good can it get? How much can we be available to receive? But I just heard you have the courage to ask for what you knew you needed. So when you said you went to the Mayo Clinic, first of all, where's the Mayo Clinic? Um, I went to the one in Minnesota. And Mayo Clinic is designed to... They treat all kinds of things. Yeah. It's like its own little town. Wow. It's huge. And it sounds like also that you had the courage to ask for help from them. Yeah. I did. Which- I did can we be honest? Like, a lot of people, and even some of, you know, I'll, I'll just say this. A lot of people, specifically women, will receive a, a diagnosis. Yeah. Which, like, I'm not a doctor. I'm just gonna out myself, but a diagnosis is a set of symptoms that are present in a moment, in a given moment. N- and it... In a given moment, okay? That's all I'm gonna say. Yeah. And that we will hear that and say... For instance, when I was, uh, younger, I was diagnosed with depression, which was s- an experience I was having at that moment. And the way that I heard it, and maybe this isn't the truth, is that, okay, I have dep- depression, so therefore I'm going to be, have depression forever. It's a lifelong thing. Yeah. Like, even when I was deep in sobriety and I was a- about to have my first baby, I'm like,"Oh, well, I'm surely gonna have postpartum depression," because back when I was 16, 20 years before, I was diagnosed, so therefore... You know, and it's like we... This is just an example of I just subscribed to that belief that since a doctor told me, therefore it's true and it's true forever. Yeah. They put a label on us, and it's like we, uh, we, we think we have to carry that label forever. Like, you just... I, I was labeled with that, too. It's like,"You have depression." It's like- Oh, so for the rest of my life I'm gonna be depressed Yeah. So, and I also wanna say, like, listen, I love doctors. All my family, they're doctors. Love'em. Brilliant, magical women. Okay? Yes. I love... And you, too. We love the medical field. So it's not necessarily a hit on medical field. No, absolutely. But it's this like let's burst open this idea that just because someone tells us Yes doesn't mean it's accurate, true, forever. And thank you for the help. Um, one of my other mentors, Mary Morrissey, says, you know, we look at the MD and think it means mini divinity, and it doesn't. No, it doesn't. It means a very well-educated, brilliant person who's seeking to heal, hopefully, who has- Yeah good intentions, and who's sharing with what... with us what they know about what they've learned at the time. Now, the other thing- Yeah that I have to elevate that you said, that I'm like,"Oh, ho, tell me more about what you meant," you said right before you described this man who finally heard you, this doctor who finally gave you space to just feel, held space, then said,"Uh-huh, beautiful. Thank you, and we have a plan." And we have a plan. But right before you said that, which sounds like a miracle to me, by the way, you said it was a God moment. Tell me m- tell me what you mean by that. There's so many doctors in that clinic. I had been to another one, and she's like,"Yeah, you, your stomach has stopped working," and... But she really didn't have a plan for me. And she's like,"Well, maybe you can see this guy, but he's really booked." And I remember going to his desk and I'm like,"Listen, I know people come here from all over the world. But I can't stay here for another month, and I can't keep flying back here." Mm-hmm."And I really need help." And they were like,"Okay. Well, let us go talk to him." And they were able to work me in. What's his name? Can we give him a shout-out? Yeah. His name is Dr. Loftus. Thanks, Dr. Loftus. Yeah. So when you say it was a God thing, you mean something was working in your favor. Is that what you- Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. When you had the courage to ask. Yeah. I also... So to rewind a little bit- Yeah to get through this journey, I also had to... When you lose your job, you lose everything. I had hit rock bottom, and I was like,"I'm gonna lose my house. I'm gonna lose everything I own." And I had a good friend come in town, and she said,"You know, there's this thing called GoFundMe, and I think you need to write a story because people will help you." And I was like,"No." And she said,"I didn't realize how sick you were until I came and stayed with you." and lived in your house for a week." And she said,"We're gonna write you this GoFundMe." And I remember telling my parents, and my parents were like,"Mm, I don't know about that. Like, that's asking, that's asking a lot." And she said,"Okay. Well, we're gonna do it anyway." Mm."I'm here to help, and we're gonna do it anyway." And we did. Is your friend, is your friend a woman- Mm-hmm by any chance? She is. Of course she is. Yeah. Oh, really? Uh-huh. Yeah. We're gonna ke- we're gonna do it anyway. Just- Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly how it was. I love it. Yeah. So let me rewind, because I didn't, I didn't catch that the first time. So because you were experiencing sickness- Yeah you lost your job, is that right? Yeah. Yeah, I had to quit my job. So we went from living the life, gorgeous in your 30s, dream job at the hospital, owning a house, having this, sounds like really strong relationship with friends and family, to you said rock bottom. Can you speak into that? Like, what does that mean, rock bottom? What did it mean for you? What did it- Mm feel like? What did it sort of look like, and then what did it feel like on the ex- external/internal? It felt horrible. I remember going and asking for help, and I was like,"I've never had to ask for help. I've never had to go stand in line and ask all these places for help." And I got turned down. I was a single woman with no kids, and they were like,"Sorry." And I was li- I remember looking at them, and I had so much anger in me. And I was so heartbroken because they were like,"There's all these resources. Just go ask for help." And so I remember sitting in my car for, like, an hour before I walked into a place, crying to my mom, and my mom's like,"Casey, just get out of your car and go in there. Stop crying and ask for help." Okay, so-"That's what these places do" tell me about what you mean when you say these places. So, like, the Red Cross, different, different organizations like that that provide help to people. Yeah. Okay. Got it. Red Cross.'Cause I was like,"Yeah, I'm gonna lose my house. I'm gonna lose everything I own." Yeah. Like, what do I do? And so- So you, you- Yeah felt horrible, and you felt, it sounds like, desperate too. Yeah, I was desperate to do anything. And so walking in there and asking was huge. I remember all the feelings. I cried. I was shaking. I was nervous. I was scared. Like, I have never done this before. And instantly the man behind in, behind the desk was like,"Nope, sorry. You're young. You don't have kids. We, we don't, we can't help you with that. We can't help you with anything." And I remember looking at him and looking around this room, and I said,"I chose to go to college." and have a good job and a career, and my life stopped, and you can't help me?" And he's like,"No." Ooh. And so- That's devastating it was. Plus you're... Plus, and the same... at the same time, your body isn't working, so you're not f- you're not- Right functioning at a high level. You're not feeling well. Now you're enduring this, like, terrifi- terrifying experience of having to ask for help for the first time. Yeah. And it, it sounds like also, too, this is pushing up against your... And forgive me if I'm, like, projecting on you. But this, you said,"I chose to go to college. I chose to get a good job." So you have this identity of somebody who's motivated, determined, self-sufficient. Mm-hmm. And in spite of all that, you're finding yourself in your car trying to just summon the courage to walk in and ask for help, and then when you do, from a man, God bless him, they say,"We can't help you." Did I catch that right? Was a guy who said that? No. Yep. And- Love men. Married to one. Love them so much. Yeah. Just elevating. Right. Right? Okay, so rock bottom. You're almost... You know, you're in a position to lose everything. You're not able to find the help. Plus there's this internal s- s- struggle, and a physical deterioration,'cause if your stomach's- Oh, yeah not working, then your body's not working. I was living on liquids and food. Like, I remember my dad going to, like, every health food store,'cause it wasn't big when I first got sick. Mm-hmm. Um, and he's... They were like,"Drink bone broth," and I would take shots so I didn't throw up. I lost like 40 pounds, like, super fast. Um, it was a lot, and my family's like,"What, what can we do for you?" Like, m- I remember my dad saying... I, I said,"I just want to eat," and he said,"I'll cook you steak, and you can just chew it and spit it out." And I was like,"Who does that?" And he's like- Thank God"Well, you're just..." Yeah. Like, my family tried everything to, to support me. So we're, uh... Fast-forward, we're in this conversation with your friend. Mm-hmm. Who's like,"Yeah, yeah, I hear that you don't wanna set this thing up." Because y- did you... What were the feelings that... I wanna, like, elevate this,"I don't wanna ask for help." But what were the feelings? Yeah. Like, what was the story that you were telling yourself, or what was, what was... What did you hear about,"If I ask for help-" Well- then what?" Um, then I... Well, first of all, I'm sharing with the world that I am declaring that I'm sick and that I need help, and I felt completely helpless. Mm-hmm. I was like,"I don't know that I've ever felt like this before. Like, I can't survive on my own. I'm going to lose everything." And my dad is a small business owner, and so the, the feeling of, like, hard work, like, was installed in, in me. Like, you work hard for your money to do nice, to get nice things. Mm-hmm. So, like- Welcome to America. Yeah. Welcome to middle class America. Yeah. And so I remember him saying,"I'm a business owner. You can't put that out there. I'm a small business owner." Like, to my dad, that was making him feel like- Mm he couldn't support his child. So there was a whole lot of family emotions going on, and my friend's like,"We're putting it out there anyway." Yeah. She said,"F the patriarchy,"'cause that's what that is. Yep. It's a social and cultural narrative that says you can't ask for help, especially men. Yep. Definitely women, especially men. We're not asking for help. We're gonna pull ourselves by our bootstraps. We're supposed to take care of ourselves and each other, and that's it. We're never gonna ask for help. We're gonna suffer alone. Yep. How many of our listeners have experienced that? Like, I'm never gonna tell anybody this. Lots of women in recovery come in with these, you know, secrets that they're like,"Oh, it's these things that I'm never gonna share with anybody." But I don't want to advance your story, but when we do, we create freedom for ourselves and others who are walking the same. Yeah. So let's get there. All right. The friend did not listen. She said,"We're not doing this. That's n- Yep that's fake n- that's fake news of the patriarchy. We're gonna ask for help." Yeah. All right. Pick it up. Tell us, tell us. So I went to Mayo, Dr. Loftus. I did a lot of testing. Um, they could not help me at the Mayo Clinic, but he was like,"I can get you scheduled here in Cleveland. I'm gonna send you to the Cleveland Clinic and, um, they have a great surgeon there. This is what you have." He's like,"I just know this is what you have. I'm sorry we can't help you here. We had a change in doctors." And he, like, just sat down, he's like,"I'm making the phone call today. Um, fly home. You will have to go to Cl- the Cleveland Clinic, and, um, but I, I'm gonna do this with you." And it was, like, the best feeling of relief, of I have fought for years and, like, someone is hearing me. I remember hugging him and, like, before I even had my surgeries, I was like,"Thank you for giving me my life back. Thank you for giving me a, a chance, and thanks for listening to me." And can we just note that he didn't give her the solution. He did not give her the c- cure. All this man did- No was hold space for you and give you hope, and said- Yeah to you,"I hear you. What you're feeling, feeling is valid- Yeah and I'm gonna walk with you as we take, as you take this journey. It's not gonna happen here." I'm sure he wish it, it could have. Yeah. And do you wanna share with us what he thought it was? Uh, yeah, so he said that I had MALS, which is median arcuate ligament syndrome. So the artery, um, basically was crushing, or the ligament was crushing the artery, and so I wasn't getting blood flow to my stomach, which causes your stomach to slow down. Um, so the first test, like, here where I live, they said,"You have gastroparesis. Your stomach just stopped." And I was like,"That doesn't just happen, and I'm not living with that." And so he's like,"No, you have something above that that happened, and I- we don't know why it's triggered, but it is, and there's a surgery for this." Whoa. Yeah. Yeah. I, I also just... I have to pick, I pick, you know, I'm l- I've got my s- my sp- spiritual spidey sense on. You said it was a God thing, and then he said,"I just know." And I don't know, like, when you said that, I felt that in my gut, like it was a gut knowing that maybe didn't come out of a textbook, just came out of, like, a direction that he received. I'm, I doubt that he- Yeah shared that with you, but- No, he- When you said that, I just felt the energy of, oh, yeah, he intuitively knew what it was. Yeah. Or maybe he just had the experience and we'll attribute it to it being a God thing, you- Yeah syncing up with the person who... And was he right? Yeah. What? He was. Yeah. Okay. All right. Cleveland Clinic. Yeah. So he, he said,"We're doing it together." You felt heard. He made space for you. I, yeah. So I flew back home to Wichita. Um, and then I got, I went to Cleveland. I had surgery there. Um, they nicked my aorta and had to stop the surgery. Wait, your aorta? Your, like, h- heart- Yeah the thing that goes to your heart? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. All right. Yeah. So they had- Oh, god to stop the surgery, and, um, they thought they got the ligament cut enough to where I would be able to function again, and I flew back home, and they were wrong. And so then I kind of went through that whole cycle of like, what is happening? Not again. Like, I had so much excitement that this, this was it. And so I, um, the surgeon that worked on me in the Cleveland Clinic, he had moved to Dubai. They have a big clinic there. And so I was like, now I'm gonna have to find another surgeon. And so there's luckily the support group online. It was my, my only peop- like, the only people I could feel like related to me, and I'm super thankful for that. Um, so I found another surgeon, and I went to Connecticut, and I had surgery there, a big open surgery there, and we were there over the holidays. Me and my mom spent, I think, three weeks there. Um, they wouldn't let you fly back home until, you know, you're so far out of surgery. And so then I got to come home. I had that surgery, got to come home. Um, in the meantime, they had killed my immune system, so I had... I was fighting... I was anemic. I was fighting tons of other things. Um, so kind of fast-forward a little bit, um, I am better now. My artery did not stay all the way open after my last surgery. Um, however, I can eat now and drink now. Um, I do still go... I still have, like, a Port-a-Cath. I still get, um, treatments, but my quality of life now is, is way different. What? Okay, so the first diagnosis was,"There's nothing we can do. You're gonna have something in your stomach," is that right? In your neck. Yeah, they were basically,"You're gonna put a feeding tube in me, put a port in me for fluids. Like, you'll live off this for fluids, and then we're gonna put a feeding tube in you, and you'll, you'll l- like, just live with the feeding tube." I have... So this is when my stubborn comes in. I have a family that goes to the lake, and I love the lake, and the lake is my happy place. And I was like,"If you put a feeding tube in me, I can't get in the water." Ooh."I can't get any of these things wet." And that was, like, my inner fight of like,"No, I am not living like this." So- You kept your eyes on what you loved, and it sounds like- I did you love your life that you had. You like to be- Yeah in the water. You love your family, you love your friends, and you love this part of you that's like,"No, this... I am here- Yeah to have a great, beautiful life. I'm not accepting anything else." Yeah. Did that come... Where did that come from, Casey? Where did that, where did that fire come from? Is it family spirit? Like, what? Where does someone- So- get something like that? I will tell you that- Did you get it on Amaz- You know you didn't get it on Amazon. No, I, I never realized where it came from until later, and both of my grandmothers have this inner fight. Um, uh, one of them, she... My grandma passed away in June of pancreatic cancer, and I saw that inner fight come out in her of like,"This is not beating me." Um, so she fought with it for, like, two y- a year after we found out. Um, and then my other grandma, she had a stroke in her 80s, and, um, was half paralyzed from it, and she was determined to, like, stay in her home. Like,"No, I'm living in my home. I'm not going to a facility." And she was sassy, right? And so I was like, I had two grandmothers, one on each side, that were like- I don't settle for things like this. Like, this is not my life, and this is not... These diseases is a dis-ease, and it's not stopping me. Yes. Okay. I, I just wanna say again what you, what I heard you say. This disease is a dis-ease, which means lack of ease, which is what Kathy Heller talk- teaches all day long, right? Yep. So if it's just a simple dis-ease, that means there is a cure. There is a- Yeah solution, and we're going for it. Yep. I cannot emphasize enough, because I have the same... What a gift we have to have these women in our lives. Maybe listener, dear listener, you have women in your life, or maybe you are the woman in someone else's life who sets the bar s- high enough to say,"No, we will not accept this narrative of the patriarchy, of the medical field, of the whatever is designed to keep us outside of this gorgeous, beautiful, abundant life that is our birthright." Yes. Because in your... You were li- You started this story living in the cadence of your own birthright. Abundance in health, abundance in work, abundance in family, abundance everywhere. Yeah. And that is the birthright of everyone. It is. Not just women, but that's since I serve women, gorgeous. Yes. And also s- th- the thing that many women shut ourselves off from. Oh, yeah. And it's- Mm-hmm and what a wor- what were your, what did you call both of those grandmothers? I just wanna name them. What did you call them? I call them grandma. Both grandma. Both of them. Yeah. Grandma and grandma- Yes said,"Oh, hell no. We're gonna do something different. We're not accepting this noise." Yeah."We're gonna do what we wanna do, and we're going to take the action necessary. We're gonna decide for it." In the face of expert opinion to the contrary. Watch me put, uh, quotation marks up when I say expert opinion. Yes. Because the expert is within you. That's where the expert is. It is. And that expert, I'm just curious, like great, you had these beautiful models of grandma and grandma, and I had the same thing with my, both of my grandmothers, and specifically my mom, who's like the fiercest warrior out there. Yeah. Who taught me early, like, yeah, that doesn't apply to us. Like, no, that's... those rules are just suggestions. The word no actually means not yet, and let's take action anyway. Yeah. Do not accept no for an answer. And it sounds like you had the benefit of that too, and now that I have, I have three daughters, and I'm like,"Well, I have a responsibility," just like your grandmas did, and maybe they didn't even know that. Yes. Just by living in their own power and strength, they shined their light. They became the lighthouse for you, as an inspiration for you. Yeah. And I'm so stinking grateful they did, because you are such a beautiful, bright light in the world, Casey. Oh, thank you so much. Okay. So speaking of, speaking of a bright light in the world, so you did not take that answer for answer. You took it as information. You disagreed with it. Mm. And you fo- charted your own path, and were supported. Mm. I love these, this evidence of spirit, evidence of God along the way. Your mom, your dad. Yeah. Your friend with the GoFundMe. Yeah. I'm sure there were people that contributed to the GoFundMe. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. The, the Mayo Clinic, the Cleveland Clinic, the man who held space, the doctor who held space for you. Dr. Loftus, thank you. And then the Connecticut, and then the... and then the... and now you are healing, on the road to- Yes a- and you're able to eat, and your life's... I mean, we've hung out a lot this year. It, it seems like your body's working o- on your behalf again. Yeah. And so what does that- I- What's that feel like? A- what's... Before we go to, like, w- how have you used this to change the whole world, which by the way, she has. We talked about what it felt like to be at rock bottom, to be devastated, and felt... you used the word horrible. What does it feel like on the other side? Maybe we're not all the way where you wanna be, but what does it feel like on the other side? What are the feelings you have now? It's magical. It... You know there's hope out there, and, like, dig inside yourself, because we all have it, and I think we don't realize it until something... Sometimes we're forced to hit rock bottom before we realize, like, this world is a good place, and there's so much magic in the world. Say more about what you mean when you say magic and magical. I love that word, and I think that there are many interpretations of that. So what does that mean to you? What's it feel like to you? Um, it's like, it almost gives me chills. Like, it's like this light up feeling of you can glow and you can be you, and- You can be your authentic self, and it doesn't matter what you've been through. It's just there's so much good. It's like these, like, spi- I see, like, sparkles. Like, that's what I feel like. Like, it's just magic. I don't... Yeah. I felt that in my body. The first time you said it, I was like,"Oh, golden light in my body right now." Yeah. Is that weird? Great. Let's let it be weird. Yeah. Uh, okay. So you're healing physically, and then what about emotionally, mentally, spiritually? How is that? How are you there? Um, I, I think it... So it stopped my world and made me look at the world a different place, as a different place, a different feeling, a different view. Um, I started doing breathwork. I saw... I see a natural doctor. I still see... have a medical team, but I seen, like, natural doctors. Like, I do, like, red light saunas. I do, um... My grandmother, the one that had the stroke, b- she had crystals. Mm-hmm. She was natural, and I always thought,"She's so woo. She's so out there." And then I was like,"Oh my gosh, sh- she's magical. She's the blessing." Like, so I... All of that, I soak it all in. Like, it's the... Also, I think when you get to surround yourself with other women, you see that there is so much light in this world, and it's just a good feeling. Casey, that sounds so starkly different from what's felt, to me, at the beginning of the conversation. Like, you were in such a dark, isolated, horrible place. Yeah. And now that you've... were brave and supported and loved by the energy of the universe showing up, like your mom and dad showing up, like your friend showing up, like Dr. Loftus showing up, like the surgeon showing up, right?'Cause the spirit shows up in human- Yeah forms. Unless you can see the spirits, which I can't, although I wish I could- Right they're showing up in human form. Yes. As agents of the divine working in your favor, always working in your favor. Yes. And now that you see that, you see, instead of the world being horrible and you're blaming it and you're angry with it, you look at it like it's filled with light. It is. And now you see light everywhere, which is how we met,'cause light attracts light. Yes, 100%. Yeah. You are this beautiful light. It takes one to see one. You know the seven degrees of resonance- Mm that Cathy talks about. So I love it. I love light. I love it so much, and I love that it welcomes in gorgeous miracles like you. So- I, I normally ask the question, like, what resources do you recommend? This is what I heard you say. Breathwork, infrared. When you say natural doctor, do you mean naturopath? Or what is- Mm. Yeah. Yeah. Naturopath. Okay. Yeah. And also a medical team, because we're not discounting the power of Western medicine. It's a thing. It works. Yep. And as long as we're connected to, you said, your internal knowing. You're, you're, you're at home with yourself. You're authentic. That's your spirit waking up, remembering who you are, and that's what it sounds like happened. You remembered who you were, a human being having a spiritual experience, and when we're connecting to light, we realize there's magic everywhere. You said your grandma was the blessing. She's magic. Yeah. Because you started to see with a new lens of possibility about how good life can be. So whoa. Any other resources that you suggest to someone who's on a healing journey, natural resource, natural, um, healing resources that have worked for you? I think connecting, um... I love Kathy Heller. Yes. I did my breathwork classes with Jen Lis. Yes. I think, um, just be open to the possibilities. Uh, it was a huge shift for me. And be open to trying new things, because the more I try, the more I open my eyes, and the more I surround myself with other amazing, beautiful people, it's, it's... That's healing itself. And when you're open, even a little corner of your mind, just a little bit. Oh, yeah. That's all it takes, just a little bit, and then you just start to grow, and that heart just opens so much bigger. And things are delivered to you, like they're at your door. They just ring the doorbell, and you open the door, and there they are waiting for you. Yep. Jen and Kathy and seeing grandma and, and, and... Wow. Okay. So you've taken this experience, Casey, that really could've w- could have, and right- ri- rightly so, kept anybody down, kept anybody back, kept anybody in a really terrible place. And ins- instead, we would... just went through this whole beautiful process of you coming out of the other side, but it doesn't stop there. Oh, dear gorgeous listener, I want you to hear what Casey does now, what she does in the world in a way that uses her setback to create not just the comeback for her life, but for the m- mir- miraculous lives that she touches now as a result of her work in the world. So Casey, tell us about your work in the world. Um, it was an eye-opening experience, and that's i- why I say that, you know, when something happens to you, it's the shift. And it changed my life, and I, I didn't know what my purpose was. And so I started doing... Um, I had a friend that was doing, like, a little bit w- in the hospital for kids, and she had asked me to help her, which gave me purpose. And then she stepped back and wasn't getting anywhere, and she... They were doing, like, birthdays, and she was like,"Hey, if you wanna take this over, I would love for you to. I'm not getting anywhere with the hospital." So these were birthday parties for kids in the hospital. And I was like,"Well, I mean, I'll try." K- kids who are patients, so kids with some disease in the hospital. Yeah. Yeah. And you were invited in. It doesn't sound like you even- Yeah did any work. You were just... received an invitation. Yeah. Ah, yes. Yeah. Sounds like alignment to me. Yeah. An invitation in. Okay. Birthday parties- So- hospital, kiddos. Yeah. So I've been doing it for six years now. Um, my goal is to make the hospital not feel like a hospital, to make their rooms... to bring the magic to the rooms, and let them know that they are s- they are supported, not only the kid, but the families are supported by the community. And so we do birthday parties. We do milestone. We do end of chemo treatments, um, and the radiation. Any kid that's in there fighting a battle, um, they've been in there for, like, a week, and they just need a pick-me-up. We call them sunshine bags. What? And yeah. It's just bringing joy. Like, you can lay there and be depressed and sad, but, um, I, I lived that life, and it's not fun. So I wanna bring the joy to the hospital. That's my mission. So you were invited in to take over celebrations for kiddos who were p- who were patients in the hospital, and it sounds like you get to be your own version of Dr. Loftus to not just hold space and be with these kiddos, but to be a shining light of joy, to celebrate them. Yes, birthdays, and milestones, and end of treatments, and anything we can celebrate. Yep. We celebrate it all. Right? And, and can we agree that this is a gorgeous model for how to live life specifically? You don't have to be in the hospital to celebrate everything. No. You can do that right now wherever you are listening to this. In your car- Absolutely what are you celebrating? What are we- Thank you what are we elevating? Okay, so but let's go back, because the work that you're doing is so magical. Can you tell us about your favorite story? Like, tell us one of your favorite stories about- Um- the work that you've done there. I've got to meet so many families. It, it's a blessing to me. These kids are the most resilient kids I've ever met. They change my life daily. They make me see the magic in the world because they are going through so much, and they don't let it stop, they don't let it stop them at all. Like, they are so grateful for everything, and they just have this shining light. And on their sickest days, they're still happy, and they're still, like, excited for everything. And, um, I've had so many little kids. I just... I was there on Christmas Eve, um, and a little girl came running down the hall to hug me, and my heart just stopped. Like, um, I th- get- we do, like, events with other organizations outside of the hospital, and these kids just come up and hug you. And, and it's not, it's not just me. Like, it's a... I have so many volunteers that are m- that just do all the amazing work behind the scenes, and our community supports it, and... But it's just the best feeling in the world to see these families and to hear, uh... I have parents reach out to me. Um, probably one of the biggest things is also one of the saddest things of I gave a girl her last birthday. She celebrated it in the hospital, and the mom still reaches out to me and thanks me for celebrating. It was a Saturday, and I remember, you know, picking up my phone, and she's like,"Hey, we're here from out of town. I know I'm asking a lot. My daughter's turning 16." And I was like,"It's fine. I can go pick up pizza and a cake, and we- we'll get you a gift. Like, you just stay there. Like, it's fine. I'll be there. It's, it doesn't matter that it's the weekend." And at that point, I didn't know it was gonna be her last birthday. And I got to see her smile, like, her face light up when we walked in the room, and all the pictures her mom shared of that day and how magical it was, and it was the, it was her last birthday. And I am forever grateful to be a part of her life and to have her mom still, to have her mom reach out and say that to us and still surround us with love and continue to support us. Um, can you share her first name? I put my tissues on the floor so they wouldn't be on the camera, but hold on while I get them. Can you share her, her first name? Yeah. So, um, her name was Heather. And I- I've actually lost, I lost two girls that year. When I started doing these, I never knew. It was something I never imagined. It was like, I'm just bringing the joy. Um, I lost another girl named Teresa about... They were at the same age, about the same time. And I, I got to go to Theresa's funeral, and she has two younger sisters, and I still connect with them. Um, we saw- she was in Kansas City when she celebrated her last birthday, and we raised enough money to send her a drawing pad because she loved to draw. Ugh. And the mom made videos, took videos, and sent it back to us. And these, these kids are just amazing. Every- Can I just, can I... Hold on. I have to tell you something- Yeah that I heard you say. I don't know if you caught it. That mom called you, and she said,"Hey, I- we're out of here from out of town. It's her birthday. I know you got a lot going on. I know it's an impossible ask." Do you hear that mirror the same conversation that you had at the Mayo Clinic? Like,"Hey, I know he's really busy, but I really need help." Yeah. I don't, I don't think I've ever put that together. So you got to be a God moment for that mom, just like whoever created the God moment for you. Yeah. And that's, that's our work here, is to be the light in the world, to create those as many moments as we can, not just for ourselves, but for the people that we get to now be the model for. I think that's just a reassurance that it's okay to ask for help. Yeah. Because for that- Can you say it one more time, and can you say it really loud? Yeah. I think the most important message is it's okay to ask for help. Wherever you are, whatever battle you're fighting, um, reach out and ask somebody for help because there's so many people in the world that wanna help. They just don't know how, and they don't realize that people are struggling in whatever battle you're fighting. So whoever's listening to this, wherever you're at, it's okay to ask. It's okay- Asking for help and, and you must because we'll only be able to receive what we have the courage to ask for. And the other thing is this, is like if you don't ask for help, we can't give people the opportunity to help us, which helps them. That's why I love the recovery movement so much because it's based on this premise that in order to recover from alcoholism, ab- substance abuse, whatever it is, you have to help others. Because in the altruism, we are healed. We recover. Yes. And so by not asking for help, we're really doing a disservice to all the people that we could help just in the ask. Yeah.'Cause I, I'm, I mean, I can see it on your face how much it's helped you to help others. Oh, yeah. It, it, um, it brings so much joy to my life. Where can we find you? What's the name of your organization? How can we support you? Where do we send our money? So- Tell us, tell us where to find you and how we can help. Um, Little Moments Big Dreams Celebrations. We're on Facebook. Um, we're on Instagram as LMBD Celebrations. And we have an Amazon wishlist. Um, people can shop that. People that are local, I mean, I ask them to go shopping, take your kids shopping, and then tell your kids about it. Um, let them pick out a gift for another kid. I think it makes it more magical. Um, but yeah, we have, uh, Venmo and, uh, Amazon wishlist. And we would love... I mean, we're, we were averaging about four parties a week on top of doing other events. And we work, we do, do two hospitals. And we'll s- f- we'll put that in the show notes as well. Thank you. So Casey sent all that to me. S- and it's called Big Dream, Little Moments Big Dreams. Little Moments Big Dreams Celebrations, yeah. Little Moments- LMBD Big Dreams Celebrations. Get, get your phone out and Google it right now. Little Moments Big Dreams Celebrations, and see how bright and beautiful Casey is, and therefore- Thank you how big and bright and beautiful she makes the world. Um, let me just take a deep breath before we sign off, okay? Thank you so much. I love this. I love you so much. I love this podcast. Like, what a gift it is to be able to share these gems, these miracles with the world so they continue in perpet- perpetuity, perpetuity, forever. Yes. On and on and on. Because when we're the light, we shine so bright that the path is lit for everyone else. It is. Who's ready, who's ready- Yeah who's ready to see the light? Yeah. Casey, I always sign off with the same, um, with the same-ish s- signature line. So here they are. Can you open your heart and be ready to receive them? And l- dear listener, please open your heart as well. I love you. I'm so grateful for you. I am so stinking proud of you, and I believe in your ability to create a gorgeous life you love so that you can be a lighthouse for everyone else. Mm. Mwah. Thank you, Casey. Love you so much. Thank you. Love you. As we wrap up today, I just want to say thank you again to Dana. Dana, your heart, your energy, and the way you hold space for people is truly something special. You have this beautiful gift of ma-making people feel seen, safe, and heard. And this conversation was such a huge part of my journey, not just in podcasting, but in learning how to really share my story out loud. Looking back now, I can see how much this interview cracked me open in the best way, and I'm so grateful for your friendship, your support, and your big, beautiful energy. I hope you guys love this conversation as much as I did revisiting it. And if something in this episode spoke to your heart, I would love for you to send a message to me and tag both Dana and I in it. And don't forget, you can find Dana on her Next Level podcast, and I will put that in the show notes, so you can go follow her and listen to her magic on hers as well. Thank you for tuning in to another episode. I hope today's story inspired you to embrace your own journey of growth and change. Remember, transformation isn't always easy, but it's always worth it. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review. If you found something that sparked you in this episode and may spark a friend, I encourage you to go share it with them. If you have your own story you would like to share, I would love to hear it, so please reach out to me. Until next time, friends, go have some fun and let those sparks fly.