Permission to play: Breaking Free From the Hustle (Even When You Think You Already Have)

What happens when the person who celebrates everybody else forgets to celebrate herself?

In this episode I am getting called out by my dear friend and podcast host Christine Marcario of the Aligned and Abundant Podcast -- and honestly, I needed every bit of it.

We are talking about the moment I realized that everything on my plate had shifted from I get to, to I have to. The hammock that is still not put together. The flowers I keep saying I am going to buy. And the real reason why slowing down feels so impossible even when you know better.

Christine is hosting a 90 minute workshop called Permission to Play inside her  community The Soul Shine Collective on June 1st and the timing could not be more perfect. Because somewhere along the way a lot of us forgot what it feels like to just play -- no agenda, no outcome, no hustle attached to it.

This episode is your reminder that rest is not laziness. Play is not frivolous. And your best ideas, your downloads, your spark -- they do not come when you are running on empty. They come when you finally give yourself permission to stop.

If this episode hit close to home, come join us. Christine's community is open now and and the doors are wide open for the June 1st workshop!

Connect with Christine: https://www.instagram.com/christine.marcario.coach/

Sign up for her community: https://www.skool.com/aligned-abundant-5126/about

You can find me at:
https://www.instagram.com/cataton/
https://www.facebook.com/casey.taton/

You can find what sparks me at:
https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1AgeRtyojY/
https://www.instagram.com/lmbdcelebrations/

Music by: Jason and Ashley Scheufler
Artwork by:  https://www.instagram.com/graphx_ink/

Transcript

0:00

Do you need permission to stop hustling and start playing again? Hey, friends. Welcome to the Inner Spark Podcast. I'm your host, Casey Peyton. If you're looking to hear stories of transformation and personal growth, this podcast is for you. My guest and I will be sharing those sparking moments that has changed them into living a more fulfilling, authentic life. I'm so excited for you to hear each unique story. So sit back, relax, and let's get started. Hey, friends. Welcome back to the Inner Spark Podcast. I'm your host, Casey Taten, and today I have with me Christine Marcario. You will probably remember her. She was on an episode on January 31st, actually. She's the host of the Aligned and Abundant Podcast, and she's just a very dear friend of mine and helps me with real life stuff. I had reached out to her about struggling with the hustle, and I didn't realize I was hustling so much. And I talk about slowing down a lot and having fun, and you know, an honest friend is gonna call you out. And thankful for her, she has called me out several times this week, and I have told her every excuse like, "But I'm doing that, and I'm delegating tasks off, and I'm doing this." Yesterday was just a real aha moment of like, no, do I really know what it means to slow down and have fun outside of my own house? When I go on vacation, I have fun and all these things. So I brought her on this episode because, when stars align, which is funny because we both have on a shirt with stars on it, she has a community in school, and it's called the Aligned and Abundant, the Soulshine Collective. This month is all about permission to play. So the timing was just right for me to bring her on, as she has been calling me out, and just have her talk about what it means. As a dear friend, I appreciate you. Welcome back, and just thanks for being you, and always just being honest with me of the things I need to hear, even if I try to give you bullshit excuses of- "I'm doing it, I'm doing it." And you're like, "No, you're not." Well, I think that's one beautiful thing that we agreed upon is we both agreed that we wanted an honest friendship where we can say, "Hey, I think you should be doing this," or, "Are you really doing that?" And I swear, every time I'm on the phone with you, you are running somewhere, doing something. You have 18 more things to do, and I'm like, "Casey, do you have any time to slow down for yourself, take a breath, and, or can you delegate that task to someone else?" Because I don't know if I'd be able to function on your schedule, because you are go, go, go. And while that is amazing, because I love everything that you do for the children, and you're such an influence in getting awareness spread that everyone deserves to be celebrated, so I wholeheartedly support the mission. But friend to friend, I'm like, "Girl," I just told you- her this morning, I'm like, "You are the Energizer Bunny." You know those commercials that used to play back in the day? And but I'm like, "Eventually, the battery is going to run out. Like, it's not gonna last forever. You have to, recharge." And so I had texted her this week, and I said, "Can I be honest with you?" And she's like, "I hope you always are." And I'm like, "I think you need to slow down." And she's like, "I am." And I'm like, "Hmm. Call a spade a spade. I don't know if you are." Mm-hmm. So it's all been s- such an interesting combination of things going on this week with- me suggesting that you need to slow down, and then I had this download last week of, like, just wanting to go out and play like how I used to as a kid. And it's the time of year where these particular plants are sprouting up, and they're called skunk weeds, and they grow in, swampy, marshy areas. And for some reason, God was like, "You should just go to this park nearby, and you should just, get your hands dirty and just, remember, the childlike innocence behind just playing and using your imagination." And I was like, "Oh my gosh, that's going to be the theme of my workshop inside my community this upcoming month in June," and I was like, "That's it." And then I was telling my husband about this, and he's like, "Well, don't you think that's funny?" He's like, "The event that you wanted to go to is at that park on Sunday." "So it's totally meant to happen." And I was like, "Oh my gosh, I didn't even put that together." And then the next day, Monday, I was like, "Okay, I need a name for this," and I was, like, kind of struggling and getting too in my head about it. And so I was like, "Let me let it go," and then all of a sudden it just clicked. And I was like, "Ooh, Permission to Play". I was like, "That's what people need. We need permission to play, to slow down, and to actually come back to ourselves," because somewhere along the line... I'm trying to think. Oh, I went to an event and someone read for me, and they were like, "Remember the innocence behind being a child. God favors the innocent." It was like how can this all be happening in one week, like, all the signs. So the theme of the workshop inside the community is Permission to Play, and it is going back to how we felt when we were a child and we were playing, and the freedom that comes with it that we can still have as an adult. It just is such a beautiful reminder that we need to slow down for ourselves in order to connect to our inner knowing, in order to connect to who we are as a person without the hustle. So that's what I'm all about, is getting out of the burnout, getting off of the hamster wheel, because, like you know, I was a middle school English teacher for 19 years and doing an hour commute, and it just sucked the life out of me, like the go, go, go. So when I see it in other people- I do wanna say, hey, you don't have to do all that. You can slow down. I think that the more that we connect to our inner selves through slowness and more presence, so much more unlocks for us, and that's when we truly are able to give the gifts. Mm-hmm. Right? And like you, light people up and celebrate everybody that needs a celebration, that's deserving of a celebration, that might not get the celebration because of circumstances and all of that. So I think that's so, so important. So it just was meant to happen. Yeah, and this was just perfect timing for me, because I have tried to tell you that I'm slowing down 100 times. And even on my podcast a year ago, you know, with one arm when I had frozen shoulder, I was telling people, "Oh, I'm slowing down." But it was like I learned how to function with one arm. And when I had the realization yesterday, I thought... I'm always like, "But I'm having fun and I'm playing, I'm celebrating kids and this is fun." But this week it, hit me and it all became a have to, I have to get these done. And that's not fun and that's a disconnect. I realized, and I think I've told you this, I just need to take a trip. I know I've told my boyfriend that, and it's like, it was the aha moment of, somewhere in my house When I get home, I think I need to constantly be working. But if I go away, I have a lot of fun, or when I'm on Zoom calls doing, podcasting, I get lit up and I have so much fun. But when I'm not doing that, it's like I somehow lost the innocence of being a child and just, going to lay in the hammock. I told you I have a hammock. It's not put together. And that's, something I love to do. And so somewhere along that I've just, like, no, when you're at home, you have so much work to do that you need to get it done. So now these things that I love to do are becoming have tos- Mm not I get to. I even stopped, celebrating myself, and I'm really big on that. And so I knew you were, the perfect person to talk about this with me because... you're like, "I'm doing this workshop." And then as soon as you said that, I'm like, huh, this is exactly where I feel like I'm struggling this week, and this is what you're talking about, is that giving ourselves that permission to play like little kids. I watch my niece and nephew, and I think that's why I go watch them. But if you notice when I watch them, it's like going to watch them outside of my house- Mm-hmm we're doing something outside. But then when I walk back in, it's like a serious mode. So obviously there's deeper work that needs to go on, we're always growing, always transforming, and it's a learned pattern and I believe I probably get it from my mom. She was always hustling, going, working, always moving. Yeah. And so, Playing and having fun can even be, like, resting. Mm-hmm. Laying in the hammock, reading, putting a Lego set together. Whatever you like to do. Yeah, totally. But somehow I've, lost that. Lost it. Yeah. Yeah. And putting together parties is usually fun for me, and this week has just felt like, yeah, my battery is, running low. Mm. And I need to get out and play so I can recharge that, I usually am really good with downloads just come to me. But not when I'm blocking them and not when I'm exhausted. You have to be in the flow, and when I'm not in alignment, there's nothing happening. And I told you that. There's nothing happening. Just feel so stagnant. Mm. And yesterday, it's just like, oh, because I'm in the hustle and everything feels like I have to, not I get to. Right. Right, and the awareness that you're bringing to this is always the first step. Being aware that, hey, ooh, I've gone a little bit too far in this direction and I need to come back. Yeah. But sometimes the need is the response to realizing that you have gone too far in one direction, and it's allowing yourself. Okay? So it's not coming from a place of need, it's coming from a place of allowing to slow down. For instance, today, it's a rainy, gloomy day, and I was, like, thinking about all the things that I could do, right, or should do. Right. But instead I was like, you know what? It'd be really great to actually just sit and watch a good movie because the lighting is good, where it's not glaring off of my TV in the living room for once. 'Cause it's always super sunny, which I usually love, but sometimes it makes it hard, to sit and watch TV, and I'm usually not a sit-and-watch-TV type of person anymore now that I've grown older because I can so relate to what you're saying. When I'm home, I just see nothing but a to-do list, whereas other people, for example, my husband, it's funny because we would say that we're kind of opposites. I would always love to be out and go, go, go, and he is very much so a homebody. He would much rather be at home. But I cannot just... And I've gotten so much better about it, really, in the past year, by doing this kind of work, by going internal and figuring out so many different things. But I would come home and I wouldn't be able to sit still. I had to go, to the point where my feet would hurt at the end of the day- Because I would just keep going. I would sit for two seconds, and then like, "Oh, let me do this. Let me do that. Let me do this." And I just worry, for you and for other people that, you're gonna hit the wall. You're gonna hit burnout, and it's gonna lead to being sick or getting yourself hurt because you're not paying attention, and or a random pebble comes out of nowhere and gets you. Yeah. So it's like we have to be aware- Yeah and give ourself grace. Yeah. Give ourself grace to slow down, permission to play. Get your hands dirty. I went out the other day when I was having all these thoughts and feelings about, just being a kid again, and I just... I went to Home Depot, and I grabbed some, cheap flowers. Mm-hmm. And I just literally got my hands into the dirt and just had fun. Yeah, it was hot and I was sweating, but, It was so rewarding just to play. And then ironically, while... So this is all going on, these thoughts in my head, and then I went to my daughter. There was a open house for Girl Scouts, and I just went and I colored with her, and I made a bracelet with her, and it's like- Yeah I got to be a kid again, and it's like, why don't we? And then that's where so many, genius creative ideas come from. Mm-hmm. Because you're just reconnecting to your inner child who we know has all the answers, all the unlocks. Yeah. When we're doing IFS therapy or all the things, if you go back to what did you wanna be as a kid, like all the answers are there. Yeah. It's the societal conditioning and the limiting beliefs that we've picked up or that we were handed. Like you just said, like you feel like it came from your mom. I can second that because my mom, and still to this day, like she has never not worked two jobs. Mm-hmm. She's, always a hustler. If I need something done, and she's in her 60s, I'm like, "Mom, come over and help me weed the backyard," she's, like, on it. It's like that hustle mentality. Yeah. But I think that you and I are growing, and with the people that we surround ourselves, we are more about slow and ease and presence, and that's what I offer in my community, and you are such a great support system, and you just add so much to it as well, for being there for me and all of the amazing people that will show up and have shown up to be with us on workshops I feel it's a great change of direction, like a fresh breath of air. Yeah. And so for you- And I can second it, is we just have to slow down sometimes. We have to be honest with ourselves. When you're like, "I have slowed down." Have you? How many hours have you been in the car this week? How many... You know? Yeah. Yeah. And that's the truth, and I just think that your workshop and your community is just perfect timing And just the perfect realization, when the stars align, they align. Yeah. And it's just like it, it just hit me this week of the creative ideas aren't coming. As much as I tried to tell you I was slowing down, I was like, "No, I'm not." And God bless great mothers, right? My mom is the exact same as yours. Works side jobs, and then if I need her she's here. Mm-hmm. But we're breaking that. 'Cause it's funny, 'cause I'll look at my mom and tell her to slow down, but- Yeah I'm not slowing down. Mm-hmm. And so allowing myself, giving myself grace is all the reminders that I needed that everything in life we do gets to be fun. Yes. Yeah. And we get to do the things we get to do instead of have to do them. Mm-hmm. When I'm in have to mode, I know there's a disconnect. Yeah, there's like a stickiness behind it. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So I just wanna say thank you, and this was perfect timing to talk about your community and what a blessing it is to just be surrounded in a space where people can just honestly call you out and be like, "Are you?" Sometimes we need that mirror to be held up to us, and to hear... Because I feel like you and I are both actually really good at this. We see the potential in our friends and the women that we speak to, and sometimes we need that mirror to be held up to see it back, to see it reflected back in us, I think that's so valuable and important to be that kind of person that can do that for somebody else. Yes. Yeah. And I'm grateful for you, we're both able to do that for each other. And- Totally. Yeah they say you are who you surround yourself with. Mm-hmm. So the importance of being in a community and having friends, that can reflect things back to you. And it's Gemini season, also my birthday month. Yay. Let's get the fun going. Let's- Yes let's start playing. We do meditations and stuff, and I did one yesterday or two days ago about flowers, and I have been thinking about flowers. I had gotten my mom some flowers for Mother's Day, I got them because of the butterflies on the little thing they were in. Aww. That was the whole reason. Uh-huh. Um, and a symbol of my grandmother. Yes It made me want to go get more flowers and put flowers on my porch, because that brings me joy, and that felt like fun and play. Mm-hmm. Ask me if I've done that. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Okay, so that's gonna be your homework- Yeah for the weekend. Yeah, the answer is no, I haven't done it. Me and my mom have talked about it, about how we need to get a bigger planter, and I wanna go get some more to make it more colorful and set it on my porch, because that brings me joy. Yes. And it's also playing. I was gonna say, you going out and having to water it and speak to... You know, you could speak to your flowers- Yeah And offer them love and say, "Thank you for bringing me joy and beauty," and that will even just center you for that moment that you're having. And the fact that it's right at your entryway where you're gonna be coming in and out, it will give you that reminder, that connection to this message of slowing down and being in the present, and smiling when it's, budding and all of that. And I think that will be a beautiful thing. And that's the funny thing, we think about all these things that we should do or could do that we know will benefit us, and then why do we make excuses to not do it, so it's like- Yeah also getting behind the why. And I think you have also called me out gently With like the scarcity mindset, you're like, "Christine," "Stop talking from your scarcity wounds." Yeah. And yet you're together, so- Yeah I wanna say investing in some flowers might be a little money out of your pocket, but the beauty and the joy that it's going to bring you on a daily basis- Mm-hmm is just gonna be so worth it, yeah. I just wanna thank you for being such a great friend and having this conversation with me because- I can't tell you guys the importance of a friendship when you're growing, and the importance of community when you're growing. She's offering just this, and you can come be a part of all of this magic where you have people who are going to be by your side and support you, and you can drop a message in there that says, "Hey, today feels off," and people are going to lovingly love you because just like the mirror, we all see something different, and people have all kinds of beautiful suggestions and, You're gonna be doing a Zoom call on this. Yeah. On June 1st. Yes, the 1st- Yeah of June. This way you come, you attend the workshop. It's a 90-minute workshop, and then you have complete access to the community, and there's prompts to just do exactly what we're doing here, getting to know each other on a deeper level, to let our hair down, to let the... any type of, like, baggage that you're carrying, to let it go, leave it behind at the door, and just show up as Casey and I are showing up right now, as just two souls who are having an authentic conversation and just wanting the best for each other- Mm-hmm and growing and healing together, and that's the type of space that, I am creating. It's been a labor of love, and it's been a lot of trial and error as far as what I want it to look like. But I think at the end of the day, clarity comes from action. I always say that. And again, I'm gonna call myself out, Casey, like you did. I just have to take my own advice. I just have to do it. And it's okay to pivot. It's okay to change things. We are constantly evolving as human beings, and we just have to embrace that. Not everything has to be perfectly laid out because the reality is you can come up with so many ways in your mind as to how it's gonna work out, 100 different ways, and then what actually happens is the 101 way. You know what I mean? Like- Yes so we just have to do it, and I'm just such a firm believer of the people that are meant to be in this space will be in this space. And you've been such a great supporter of running ideas by me, and you've been, my go-to person for, like, "How does this sound?" And you're like, "I think it could be this way," and just really holding up that mirror. And then it's also a confidence thing. We always hear from, one of our mentors, "You are not ready, you are over ready." And I think that both of us are just over ready and just ready to share our gifts to the world. Because when we are not sharing our gifts- And we both share them in different ways, You're more active physically going out into your community, and I'm more, mindset and getting on Zoom calls. And we both share messages through our podcast, but it's also like when we are in community, both you and I, like, really, really spark, right? Yeah. We both really light up. Yeah. And for both of us, the feedback that we get is just freaking amazing. And that I think is what is so rewarding, and that's where the fun is, right? Yes. Getting off a call where we're like, "Holy shit, that was amazing, and the breakthrough that so-and-so just had," that's the cool part of having a community of like-minded women and souls. That's the reward for me, is seeing that I'm making a difference in the world, and that is really the true why behind what I'm doing because- I've always wanted to help people, and I did that through teaching. And then I was like, okay, kind of had that burnout moment where I was like, "I don't wanna do this anymore." And then my friend held up the mirror, and she's like, "Girl, you're always gonna be a teacher. It's just in a different capacity now." Yeah. And I feel like on a soul level, there are so many amazing lightworkers out there, and whether they know it or not, that they are a lightworker. There's someone here that raised their hand to change the frequency and vibration of this collective on this earth, this incarnation right now. It's time for us to shine, because this is a heavy time, and we need- Yeah the light. And so I think you and I are spreading the light. We're spreading the inner sparks, and it is just time for more people to say yes, for more people to say, "I give myself permission to play. I give myself permission to have some time for myself"- Hmm instead of all the have tos, the shoulds. I love when people, and I'm being so sarcastic, when they're like, "I don't have time." Like, you have to make time. Yeah. You have to make time for yourself. Like, you're not gonna go out of the house without showering, for four days. You ha- I hope you don't. Um, but if you do- sorry. Like you have to make time. And you'll see that that's the medicine for your soul. That's where your spark comes back. What is the point of being here if you're gonna just be like a robot just doing all the things? It's time that we get off of that, I don't know, like society made us think that we have to just be worker bees and just go, go, go. And it's like- Hmm no, we're, we're not doing that anymore. Unsubscribe. Not down for it. And that's where I'm looking to lead. Yeah. If you guys could see her, she just completely lit up- explaining all that and talking about it, and It's so true, every bit of that. People get in their head about coming into a program or even getting on Zoom calls and turning on their camera. Some of the best advice is just get on and don't turn on your camera, but do it for yourself. Invest in yourself so you can be in a community and be surrounded, you will just realize right away that no one here is here to judge, that we all have our own flaws, our own things we're working through, and it's just a pure, honest- It just gets my heart. I was gonna say. Yeah. It's just hearts connecting. Like- Mm-hmm yeah, it's totally okay. Like, I've been the one that didn't wanna turn my camera on because I was like, "Oh, I don't know. I have a pimple on my face," or, "My hair looks like crap." Yeah. But then you get so comfortable when you're with people that make you feel good that, you'll get on. You don't even care. Makeup smeared down my face from last night, sleeping on my pillow. My hair's a wreck. I'm like, "Hey, guys." And you guys are like, "Hey, love you." Like, it's just becomes this beautiful thing, yeah. I just wanted to encourage everybody, take the step, come join. Thank you for helping me work through this week. Yeah. I just can't wait. They can join your community now, right? Yeah, yeah. Doors are open. You can come in whenever you're ready. If you wanna be on for the June 1st workshop, again, it's called Permission to Play. It's included in the monthly membership. There are two tiers. If you wanna just get your feet wet, come into the first tier. The second tier does include a live coaching call. And the difference in my community and who I am is I am leading everything by intuition. Just like I shared my story of how this workshop came to become into existence, like everything is channeled and downloaded. I'm really leaning into... not researching market trends. I'm not researching like, oh, what's the next fad? It's what does my spirit team want me to share with the souls that are coming and raising their hands? What frequency am I putting out, and what does this collective need to hear or be reminded of? And right now it is play because, yes, we are going into the summer for many people that are listening in, but I just think that there is always room for growth and change and different seasons for different things, and this is just going to be such a simple soft reminder of let's have some freaking fun together. And from there, when we are like coming from having more ease and play and laughter in our lives, that just elevates your energy level, and then you go out and do bigger and better things. You do a random act of kindness for a stranger. You- Mm smile at your mother-in-law who you would normally, give a dirty look to. All the things, it just makes things lighter for everybody, and then you just feel good. You feel really, really good and blessed to have other people around that you can let your hair down- Yeah and show up authentically as yourself. Yeah. I'm so excited. I'm ready to play. I'm ready to step out of this weird funk and just, it's gone. Yes. We're done with it, and let's get to playing. So I will link all of where they can join your community, the Soulshine Collective, and come play. Yes. And- Come play, and Casey and I will both be there, so- Yeah come have some fun with us. It's high time. Thank you so much for having this conversation and I thank you for coming on and just helping with this week. I'm excited to play. Thank you for tuning in to another episode. I hope today's story inspired you to embrace your own journey of growth and change. Remember, transformation isn't always easy, but it's always worth it. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review. If you found something that sparked you in this episode and may spark a friend, I encourage you to go share it with them. If you have your own story you would like to share, I would love to hear it, so please reach out to me. Until next time, friends, go have some fun and let those sparks fly.