The Grief of Growth: Growing Into Your New Self

What if feeling unlike yourself isn't a sign that something is wrong—but a sign that you're growing?

In this heartfelt Shower Sprinkle, I share a raw look at what transformation really feels like behind the scenes. While growth is often celebrated for the breakthroughs and victories it brings, we rarely talk about the grief that comes with letting go of an old version of ourselves.

This week, a series of unexpected moments—from a computer crash to an ice-cold shower—became powerful reminders about trust, gratitude, and the importance of slowing down. As I reflect on the hustle, the pressure to keep pushing, and the mirror I was forced to hold up to myself, I uncover a truth many of us need to hear:

Growth isn't always exciting.
Sometimes it feels like grief.

In this episode, you'll hear:
✨ Why personal growth can feel uncomfortable and emotional
✨ The hidden grief of outgrowing old habits and identities
✨ How hustle culture can disconnect us from the people we love most
✨ The power of choosing gratitude over frustration
✨ Learning to trust yourself and the process during seasons of change
✨ Why "I haven't felt like myself lately" might actually be a beautiful sign

If you've been feeling stuck between who you were and who you're becoming, this episode is your reminder that transformation isn't always easy—but it is worth it.

You are not falling apart.

You are making space for something new.

So take a deep breath, trust the process, and remember:

You're not broken.
You're growing.

You can find me at:
https://www.instagram.com/cataton/
https://www.facebook.com/casey.taton/

You can find what sparks me at:
https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1AgeRtyojY/
https://www.instagram.com/lmbdcelebrations/

Music by: Jason and Ashley Scheufler
Artwork by:  https://www.instagram.com/graphx_ink/

Transcript

0:00

I got a cold shower this week, and honestly, it was exactly what I needed Hey, friends. Welcome to the Inner Spark Podcast. I'm your host, Casey Peyton. If you're looking to hear stories of transformation and personal growth, this podcast is for you. My guest and I will be sharing those sparking moments that has changed them into living a more fulfilling, authentic life. I'm so excited for you to hear each unique story. So sit back, relax, and let's get started. Hey, friend. Welcome back to the Inner Spark Podcast. I'm your host, Casey Tatem. This is a shower sprinkle, and today I'm coming to you with a really open heart because, friend, this week and last week has been a lot in the most beautiful, transformative, tear-inducing, soul-cracking, open kind of way If you listened to last week's Shower Sprinkle, we talked about giving yourself permission. Permission to play, to have fun, to let go of fear, doubt, and judgment, and to step over that line in the sand and into the new you. And I meant every single word of that. But what I didn't tell you is what it actually feels like to be in the middle of that crossing. Because here's the thing, nobody really talks about transformation, and it's not always pretty. It doesn't always feel like butterflies and breakthroughs. Sometimes it feels like grief, and that's exactly where I have been. I've been going through this deep transformation, really doing the work, really looking inward, and this week I found myself in a situation where I had to hold up a mirror and really look at the energy I was putting out into the world on another person. And what I saw stopped me in my tracks, because the person on the other side of that mirror, that wasn't my best self. That was Casey caught up in the hustle. Casey running on empty. Casey so wrapped up in the grind that I wasn't really present. I wasn't really living. And I realized that the people I love most were getting the version of me instead of the real me, and I felt broken. I felt like I was grieving. And I wanna sit in that word for a second, grief, because I don't think we talk about it enough when it comes to personal growth. When you decide to let go of an old version of yourself, there's a mourning that comes with that. You're saying goodbye to who you were, even if who you were was holding you back. Even if that old version of you was keeping you small, keeping you stuck, keeping you in the hustle, it's still a part of you. And letting her go, that hits different. This one hit my heart hard, friend, in the best, most transformative way. But hard, nothing less. And I really feel like God, universe, whatever resonates with you, has been testing me, like really looking me in the eye and saying, "Casey, do you trust yourself?" Saying, "Casey, do you trust me? Do you really trust me?" And the tests came one after another. Earlier this week, my computer overheated, and any of you who work from your computer know that this is full-on crisis moment. Old Casey, she would've panicked, gone into full frantic mode, spiraled. This time I paused. I took a deep breath. I worked through it step by step, and my computer came back on. And I thought, "Okay. Okay, I feel that. I see what you're doing here." Then, and I cannot make this up, friends, I went to take a shower tonight, and all I wanted, all I needed after this heavy, emotional, transformative week was a warm, hot shower. That was it. That was the dream for me, just to get in the shower, do my shower sprinkle, you know, just to feel better. Just the steam and a moment to breathe, and I was so excited to get in that shower, and I got in, and the water is ice-cold. The pilot light had gone out on my hot water tank, and I didn't even know it until I was already standing in there. And honestly, I had to just laugh because old Casey would've gotten out of the shower and been so irritated, so frustrated, like, "Are you kidding me? All I wanted was one thing, one simple thing." And instead, I surprised even myself. I got out of that cold shower, and I just thought, "You know what? Thank you. Thank you that I have running water. Thank you that I have a shower at all. What a gift it is to have water. What a gift it is to have a home." And I found that gratitude instead of the frustration, and something about that just keeps cracking me wide open. God, one. Casey, nothing. And I'm so okay with that score right now. And then I came across this quote a friend shared, and it stopped me cold. No pun intended there. "I haven't felt myself lately. I must be growing." I want you to hear that again I haven't felt myself lately. I must be growing. Isn't that gift a reframe? Because so many of us, when we're in those uncomfortable seasons, when we feel off, when we feel heavy, when we feel like we don't quite recognize ourselves, we think something is wrong We think we're broken. But what if that discomfort is just proof that you are expanding? What if feeling unlike myself is just evidence that the old self is making room for who I'm becoming? That quote hit me in my heart in a way that I didn't even have words for, and I knew that I had to share it with you. And I thanked my friend for sharing it because here's what I'm really learning through all of this. The hustle has to stop. It has to. And I know that it's uncomfortable to hear, especially for those of us who have worn that busy-like badge of honor. I know I have. I prided myself on doing all the things, being all the things, hustling and grinding and pushing, and what I'm realizing, what this week has shown me so clearly, is that when I'm in that mode, I'm not living. I'm moving through life, but not actually in my life, and the people I love most deserve more than that. I deserve more than that. So I'm letting it go. I am done with it. And yes, it's freaking uncomfortable. Yes, it's grief. Yes, there are more moments where it hits me hard, and I have to just sit with it and breathe through it. But I am so ready. I am so ready to be present, to slow down, and to actually live, to grow into who I am becoming on the other side of all this. And I want that for you, too, friend. So wherever you are right now, whatever season you're in, if you haven't felt like yourself lately, I want you to hear this. You're not broken. You are growing. That discomfort is not a dead end. It's an expansion. It's your soul making space for more, and more is coming for you. So take the cold shower. Sit with the grief. Let that mirror show you what needs to change, and then trust, and really trust, that everything is working out exactly as it should be. I love you, friend. I'm so grateful you are here, and I'm so grateful to be on this journey with you Thank you for tuning in to another episode. I hope today's story inspired you to embrace your own journey of growth and change. Remember, transformation isn't always easy, but it's always worth it. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review. If you found something that sparked you in this episode and may spark a friend, I encourage you to go share it with them. If you have your own story you would like to share, I would love to hear it, so please reach out to me. Until next time, friends, go have some fun and let those sparks fly.