E49. Perfectionism Is Killing Your Beauty Business

It silently sabotages salon owners everywhere, it’s perfectionism.
The late nights redoing client photos, the endless tweaking before hitting “post,” the belief that you have to do it all because no one else can do it quite right… sound familiar?

In this week’s episode, Kimberley is getting real about the hidden cost of perfectionism - how it held her back, burnt her out, and what finally set her free.

We’re unpacking:
 ✨ Why perfectionism isn’t a personality trait but really fear in disguise
 ✨ How it shows up in your salon (and your life)
 ✨ What your nervous system is actually trying to protect you from
 ✨ The link between comparison and control
 ✨ A simple mindset + journaling practice to rewire your brain for growth

If you’ve ever delayed raising your prices, launching a new service, or showing up online because it’s “not perfect yet,” this episode will hit deep.

Your Action Plan:

Journaling Prompts

• What am I afraid will happen if this isn’t perfect?
• Is this my belief, or someone else’s voice?
• What evidence do I have that this fear is real?

Micro Actions

• Post an unpolished reel or share something small publicly
• Hire help for just a few hours a week instead of doing everything yourself
• Launch a service or offer before it’s “perfect” to practice letting go

Affirmations to Reframe Fear

• Identify the fear: e.g., “I’m afraid of being rejected”
• Counter it: “Even if I’m rejected, I am still [great at my job / a good person / worthy]”
• Repeat daily whenever perfectionism pops up

Nervous System Regulation

• 15 minutes of breathwork per day
• Gratitude journaling: focus on tangible, specific things you are grateful for each day
• Embodiment exercises: yoga, grounding, or movement to release stored tension

Healing doesn’t come from being flawless, it comes from knowing you’re worthy right now.

💗 Plus: We’re celebrating one year of the Beauty Business School Podcast!
To say thank you, we’re giving away two Divinely Me Diaries (valued at $59.95 each). To enter:
1️⃣ Leave a 5-star review on Spotify
2️⃣ Share the podcast to your stories and tag us (@beautybusinessschoolpodcast)

If your account’s private, make sure it’s public so we can see your entry!

Are you looking to level up your salon in 2026? Every beauty business owner needs Beauty Business Foundation, this is the KEY areas you need to have a successful beauty business. Want to learn more? 

 https://beautybusinessschool.com.au/beauty-business-foundations/ 

Transcript

0:00

Welcome to the Beauty Business School podcast. Beauty Business School is proving beauty therapy is more than just a hobby. We're your new beauty besties, your partners in crime, your ride and die crew with a sprinkle of Regina George's confidence, but none of the drama. Picture us as your personal cheerleaders, the BFFs you've always wished for as we tackle the beauty industry together. Beauty training taught you how to be really good at treatments and Beauty Business School is here to teach you how to attract your dream clients by creating a beauty business that stands out in a busy industry. Navigate salon owner life and talk about the mindset shifts that you need to thrive in the beauty industry. It's time to become the CEO everyone is trying to marry. Let's get into the podcast with me, your host, Kimberly Howitt. Perfectionism nearly killed my business. Oh, what a topic we have today. It's the truth. Perfectionism has been my downfall so many times in business, guys. Like this is not a drill. This has honestly been something I've struggled with for the longest time and something I've worked really, really, really hard on to not allow to continue to hold me back, hold me down, I'm really excited to share what I know, what I've learned from being a perfectionist and trying to be everything for everyone all the time. In fact, if you talk to many people in the lash industry who were around when I was around, they will tell you I was the industry good girl. I was the people pleaser. I like, I literally heard rumors about myself being like, oh my God, she always just tries to be so perfect because I literally did. Like I literally did. They weren't wrong. Was that nice? No. But were they wrong? No. I was trying to be everything to everyone at all times. And I think perfectionism is one of those traits that we, we love. and we hate. On one hand, it pushes us to excel, have high standards, and always do our best. And I think that it has so many admirable qualities to it that it's like, oh my gosh, if I just keep pushing and being better, then I'll get to the next level. And of course, yeah, if you have that mindset, you absolutely will. But on the flip side, I think perfectionism can also keep us stuck, heavily stuck, sometimes not even starting. We're We're constantly tweaking and planning and waiting for the perfect time. And honestly, it never comes. So what I want to talk about today is perfectionism. but how perfectionism is the symptom of something much bigger. Perfectionism is actually a mask that's covering up fears. For me, it's fear of rejection, fear of being seen, fear of failing, fear of people knowing that I've failed in the past. Oh my God, that's a massive one. And until I suppose you look underneath, we see the same circling loops that it's like, oh, I'm just a perfectionist. No, you're not. I mean, you are, but that's the symptom of whatever's going on for you under the surface. I used to think that perfectionism was my absolute superpower. I ran a salon. I launched events. I started product business. I had a training academy. Gosh, what else did I do? What didn't I do? Really, what didn't I do? I had a business. I had multiple facets and that's a whole nother conversation. But how I got to half a million dollars, I had like six streams of income. I actually can't remember how many I had. I did write it down, but I had a lot of streams of income And I used to think that it was my superpower to do it all. Every tiny detail, every decision, every moving piece, that was on me. And it meant that I got all the validation, which I feel like I mention every podcast I love. But also it's not a sustainable way to scale a business. Now for my home salons, you might be like, well, hang on, I'm just me. This still applies to you. Even when I was a home business, I was like, I'll do my own accounting. I'll do my own social media. Although it wasn't a big thing back then. But like, I hear this all the time that people think that they can't outsource, they can't ask for help. And the truth is I wasn't doing it alone because I was strong. I was doing it alone because I was terrified. And when we take the mask off, I was absolutely terrified of failing. Well, that someone would think I didn't do it right, which happened anyway, even though I was trying to be perfect for everyone. I was terrified if something wasn't perfect, it would all come crashing down around me. God, I'm bloody emotional again. Do you know why? I'm doing breathwork again and unpacking things and I'm going through a huge level up when I'm filming all these podcasts for you recently. And oh, it is stirring. It's stirring everything inside of me. And my coach said to me, when you start being vulnerable, that's when you'll explode. So guys, I'm being vulnerable. I'm being me. More me than I've ever been on any of my businesses. So let's do the exploding thing because it feels freaking hard to do. But I also know that it resonates with you guys because you tell me it resonates with you on such a deeper level. I controlled everything. I micromanaged every detail in the process and I honestly burnt myself out I don't mean cute burnout. I mean like Britney shave your head burnout. I never shaved my head, but I exploded my life. I resigned from my dream job. I burnt friendships and stopped talking to family members and all sorts of things because I just had hit absolute burnout and it was all fueled by perfectionism. And it wasn't a drive for excellence. It was the fear that was driving it. But also I felt like I couldn't let go of perfectionism because if I let go of it, was that the reason I was successful? Was the fact that I was such a perfectionist and I was holding on to everything with a vice grip and I couldn't let it go the reason I was so successful? And if I'm honest, for those who don't know, I had high functioning anxiety for a really long time, which basically means you have anxiety, but you can keep doing everything. And a lot of CEOs have high functioning anxiety. And I held on to high functioning anxiety for a really long time too, because I thought my success was those parts of me. I thought my success was the anxiety and it was the perfectionism. And it's crazy because the more I've let go of, the more opportunities that have come in and the bigger I've grown and it's felt more sustainable long-term. And I just, if I went back and talked to the old version of me, she wouldn't believe that was possible. That if I could let go of things, if I could trust other people and be okay with it not being perfect, it would lead to more growth. It just even feels crazy for me to say that out loud. But my nervous system was just saying, if I keep this perfect, no one can reject me. If I control it all, I won't fail. And the irony of it was that I did. I failed a lot. I burnt bridges. I hurt people with my death vice on perfectionism. So we're going to talk about the upside of this as well. I do think having a level of perfectionism pushed me to be ambitious and it drove me to master skills and allowed me to keep going when maybe I thought I would quit. It showed me that I cared deeply about what I was creating. And I think that that's pretty powerful. And I think it can be a strength. to fuel growth instead of freezing us when it's used in the right way. But when it comes from the fear of other people truly seeing us or the fear of other people judging us or the girl from bloody high school that everyone refers to that might be watching your Instagram stories or might be judging that you've started a business, I think that's where perfectionism is counterproductive. And it ruins us and it hurts our business and it hurts our lives and it hurts our friendships and family in turn as well. Now, I always come in here with my own stories because I honestly feel like it makes it more relatable in the podcast. And as always, guys, I love your feedback and I love to know if you've enjoyed it. I'd love for you to tag us. I'd love for you to rate us. This was not meant to be a pause moment for a little ad, but here's what's happening. I think sharing my own stories gives you insight into how it feels in the real world. But what I want to share as well is where I see it in salons. So the biggest areas I see in salons is not outsourcing their admin, never hiring help because no one can do it as good as them. Or this is what I used to say, oh, it's just so much harder to show someone else. I may as well just do it myself by the time I show them and I teach them, I could just do it. And let me just say about that, you teach them once and then it's done. Maybe you need to do a little bit of upskilling, but honestly, no, that mindset is incorrect. And I used to say it so I can say this, because I definitely feel it. In social media, they'll spend three hours making a post that never gets published where maybe they could have some accountability, some help, maybe a VA who is co-collaborating with them. In team building, they avoid hiring staff because they might ruin your reputation. They They might make your business not look good or, you know, there are other reasons why you might not hire a staff such as you don't want to be a manager. That's different. That doesn't come from perfectionism. It comes from self-knowledge. If it's coming from that place of, I don't want to hire someone, they might ruin my reputation. No one will be as good as me. Then it is perfectionism taking over. And client services, you may be taking too long pushing appointments out to just make those lashes, brows, facial perfect. And pricing. Not raising prices until you are perfect at what you do and you have nailed everything is holding so many salon owners back from being in profit. And the truth is clients don't see what you see. So that holding on to perfect set of lashes, a perfect set of brows is so counterproductive. You're holding yourself back from being in profit. You are hurting you. And I see this so often. Now, all of these are not about standards, even though they're things that we categorize as standards. Now, obviously, if you are brand new to the industry, some of these may not apply to you. But if you are good at what you do, ready to scale up, don't actually physically have any time to do these other outsource tasks. then it's not about standards. It's about fear. It's about not letting other people step up to help you because you're worried that it's going to cause some sort of ripple effect for you. Rejection, failure, maybe there's a sense of like, you need to do it all for validation. It's different for every individual. And here's another way that perfectionism shows up. comparison. Often people don't link the two, but when there is perfectionism, there is more often than not comparison. And when we feel like we're not perfect, our brain starts to scan the room. It starts to look for evidence that we're not good enough, that those stories begin to come in. I don't look like the girls who are succeeding. I'm not skinny enough, smart enough, pretty enough. I don't dress like that. I'm not cool enough. I'm not funky enough. I'm not edgy enough. I'm not enough. And here's the truth, the absolute truth. You are never going to be skinny enough, smart enough, pretty enough until you actually start. And more than that, you don't actually need to change to have the level of success that you want because it's not about your hair. It's not about your body. It's not about if you're cool enough. That's not what gets you to have a successful business. It's how you make other people feel. It's about being good at your job. And then people will reflect back the key traits that you have, the amazing things that you do. They will be like, oh my gosh, she's so kind. She's so funny. Honestly, if you give me a killer facial, I don't give a damn what you look like. I just want to feel good. So this perception that we have around comparison, around I could never do it because I'm not like them. I don't look like them. That is your own belief systems and what you believe you receive. For as long as you sit there and believe you're not good enough, you're not smart enough, you can't do it until you hit X goal, you will stay where you are because you are telling your mind and the universe that you're not enough as you are, that you have to wait until something changes. So you're not going to look for opportunities. You're not going to put yourself out there. You're not going to take the necessary risks and that is what business is. to step out of perfectionism and into the doing. And the doing is where the magic is. Taking those steps, stopping yourself from being in analysis paralysis and literally being like, no, I'm going to take the step despite it. I'm going to keep working on this despite the fact that I am terrified because all these stories are happening in my brain that I'm not perfect enough. I can't do it. I'm not this. I'm not that. They're not helping you anymore. The truth is you are only as limited as your mindset and no blazer that you wear, no perfect hair, no perfect teeth, no perfect smile, no perfect body is going to be the thing that gets you there. Besties, I cannot believe that I am saying this, but we are celebrating one year of the podcast in October. And I want to give back to you because you are the reason I've been able to do this for a whole year and continue for the next year ahead. But here's the thing, while hundreds of you are listening, I don't actually know who you are. So to celebrate, I've organized with Divinely Me Diaries to give away two of their diaries at the end of October. These are valued at $59.95 each and they have literally changed my life. They are perfect for organization, goal setting, mindset work, and you can do it in as little as five minutes a day. So here is how you enter. Leave us a five-star review on Spotify and share the podcast to your stories and tag us. A little note on this, that if your account is on private, we won't see it. So make sure it's public. And then that's it. You're in. And honestly, I can't wait to see who is joining the celebration and who has been watching and listening this entire time. I can't wait to finally meet you all. Now let's get back to the podcast. So let me explain what is actually happening to you when you have these thoughts. They're what we call limiting beliefs. And they are from our subconscious. They are our body's literal way of protecting us. Our nervous system only wants to keep us in safety and love. At all times, our nervous system is like safety, love. That's it. We need to be in safety. so that we don't get preyed on by the tigers and the lions and the bears. Oh my. And then we need to be in love because love means that we receive the emotional nurturing that we need. It also means when we're in safety and love that we get fed, that we have a house, that we have all of those things that we feel are fundamentally, as humans, when you strip away all the consumerism, what we need to survive. So your nervous system only cares about keeping you in that state. So perfectionism is your nervous system's way of trying to keep you safe. What it will do is it will do anything, anything to keep you there. Right down to saying that you're not perfect. Right down to saying, if I am perfect, no one can reject me. And if I don't put it out there, I won't embarrass myself. Or maybe even as you sit down to do any given task, it will cause you to freeze. Have you ever sat there and been like, today I'm going to work on a course or a new treatment or my menu or my business and just done nothing? That is your nervous system trying to keep you safe because the thing that you're about to do feels unsafe to your nervous system. And it will do anything to keep you in safety and in love because fundamentally as humans, that's what we need. So fundamentally, it's like, it's all right, we won't work on that because that potentially could be risky. There could be a tiger on the other side of doing that activity. So I know you're listening to this and going, wow, okay, well, I've just learned a lot about myself. Unless you've already done emotional intelligence and then, oh, welcome my friend. I have done the lower depths of emotional intelligence and I am actually in a program right now where I am stripping away so many things that I thought that I had gone through and I had thought that I had dealt with. And I'll be honest with you guys right here and right now, like I still have these perfectionism. Like, yes, I have moved so much, but I have, and you'll find there's different layers. Like every time you get to a new level in your life and your business, the same things pop up. I'm like, but I thought I tackled you. I thought perfectionism was gone, but it pops up in a different way. Now there is parts of me that I need to embody a new version of myself to get to the next level of growing this business. Like I'm like, yeah, this feels good. This feels safe. And then I was like, hey, let's push for a new goal. Let's try and like move this to a bigger mountain. And I kept procrastinating, trying to be perfect, trying to do all these things that I was like, if I just have control, people won't see me. People won't be able to reject me. People won't be like, oh yeah, yep, she's the villain I always thought she was. But the truth is, even controlling that narrative, even trying to be that person, someone's going to think I'm a villain. Someone is going to think I'm not perfect. Someone will think I'm perfect. It's about recognizing these things are inhibiting you. They're stopping you from taking those next steps. And it's a constant project. You're constantly working on yourself. And it's the hardest thing that I've learned about emotional intelligence is the job is never done. Even though sometimes I want the job to be done, it's never done. And what I am going to do is give you guys some techniques now, some foundational techniques on how to help yourself move past the perfectionism that you may have to heal and begin to rewire your subconscious brain and therefore your nervous system. So I'm going to go through these and then I have a little activity for you because I wanted this to be not just me talking at you And taking you into what's called the awareness. So the awareness is where you become aware of your thoughts. You start to become aware of the way you think and you feel and you are. And you're like, oh, oh gosh. I have that. I do that. Maybe that's me. And it can be a really unstable place to be in when you're just listening to one thing that triggers all these things. I didn't want to leave you with nothing practical to put in place because sometimes it just then has you thinking like, am I being the perfectionist? Is my nervous system dysregulated? Okay, but great. I know that, but what do I do with that information? So here's what you do. The things that really help with nervous system regulation, rewiring, nervous system regulation in itself is embodiment work. It is grounding, yoga, breath work, making sure that you are reconnecting with your body so you can express the emotions that are suppressed. That is it. You need to express the emotions that are repressed. And so many people hear that and they're like, nah, I'm out. I get it. Because for a long time, I was like, nah, I'm out. I don't want to deal with any emotions stuck in my body. No, thank you very much. But the truth is that is how you get past a lot of this. So I highly, highly recommend breathwork to everyone. Now that does not mean you have to do what you've seen on the internet because I've seen some gnarly things on the internet around breathwork, but I do 15 minutes a day of breathwork. Gratitude journaling. It's actually one I didn't list down, but oh my gosh, gratitude journaling will change your life. It will change your life every single day. What are you grateful for? And I don't just mean like, you know, I'm grateful for air. Of course you're grateful for air. I'm grateful for air too. I mean, look around. What can you see that you're grateful for? What can you feel that you're grateful for? What can you smell that you're grateful for? Like, what are you truly deeply grateful for? It's changed my life and it's how I celebrate myself so much. If you watch my Instagram, you know, I celebrate everything like it is the biggest milestone I have ever had in my damn life because you will keep moving the goalposts for the perfectionism if you can't celebrate yourself right now. If you can't be in gratitude for what you have, they'll just keep moving. You'll keep wanting more. You will never truly feel like you've hit success if you cannot be grateful for the here, for the now, for what you have, even if you are in lack. Even if you're like, Kim, I have no money. My bank account's minus. Everything's going to shit. I get it. Maybe you do start with a simple thing. I'm grateful I opened my eyes this morning. I'm grateful I have a partner who loves me. I'm grateful for sun. The other morning, I literally was like, I'm so grateful the sun is coming out earlier. That was what I sat in gratitude for all morning and it lightened the day. It shifts the frequency in your body from negative to positive when you can capture these moments. So gratitude, even though I didn't list it. Ways that you can work are affirmations that you can actually figure out what your limiting beliefs are, what you're thinking and feeling and write down something to the opposite. So, oh, let me give you an example. I have fear about being rejected. You might say, I am safe and seen as I am. You know, I am loved even when things aren't perfect. Like, I really want you to think about things to the opposite that you can tell yourself every single time they come up. Oh, I have a deep thing I can give you guys. You guys are like, you're getting to know me. It's a whole thing. This podcast is like a whirlwind. I regularly have like thoughts and fears around things happening to my kids. And I know parents would be able to completely resonate with this. And it is something that I had severe, severe depression and anxiety over when I had little babies. I genuinely thought people were coming to kidnap my children. I genuinely thought it. And I have created this technique that anytime one of those thoughts pops into my head, I touch my hand to my heart. And this is actually a proper technique. And I didn't realize this before I started. And I say, Thank you so much for trying to keep me safe, but that's not our story. And here's something I add on. And it's a little bit like of living in the future, but I'm like, my baby's living to 99. My baby's safe and loved and happy. And what I'm doing in that, even though I have this genuine fear and you're genuinely hearing like the insides of my brain right now, it counteracts it It lightens it. It took a long time. No, it wasn't actually that long. I lied to you. It took a few months for this thought pattern to become my regular. And now I'm like, thank you for trying to keep me safe. That's not our story. My baby is going to be safe until 99. Like it doesn't matter what it is. It's about having that thing that you can say to yourself that counteracts the thinking, that rewires your nervous system. And it happens less and less now. It used to happen. I mean, it was crippling. I used to not be okay. I barely could function. And now I would say it happens once a week, which I know sounds like a lot, but trust me when you get crippled and you absolutely can't function, that's not that much anymore. And I know it will get less and less and less the more that I do this work. I know that that's not beauty industry related, but I'm so sure that you guys can relate to thoughts and feelings of how that actually has come up for you yourself. and how we sabotage ourselves in our silence with these thoughts and feelings. And, you know, maybe you are working and having thoughts like that and being like, I can barely function at work because of these thoughts that I have. And maybe I can be the person who changes that for you. And holy shit, that would be so cool. That would be such a gift. All right, the next thing is journaling. So journal prompts, which is actually the activity that I have for you at the end of this. So you could do some journal prompts such as, what am I afraid will happen if this isn't perfect? Is this my belief or somebody else's voice? For example, you know, is this what you truly believe? Does the evidence tell you that this is actually what's going to happen? Or is your brain trying to keep you safe? So then you can really just start to be aware of that inner dialogue. Notice the scared part of you and respond with kindness. Like I just gave you an example about me with my children. And micro actions, which is doing small things that help you build confidence, such as posting an unpolished reel or hiring someone for a couple of hours a week instead of going all in and being like, all right, I'll hire you part time. Maybe you can just do a casual for two or three hours or three hours, I think is the minimum, a week. And then maybe it could even be like launching a service before it's ready. These small things make big impact. Oh, there's another one I have actually, reframing rejections. So rejections are a really big part of business and I get rejected all the time by all the people. And I like to think about it as it's not failure, it's redirection. And I always think to myself, eventually you're going to be banging on my door. You're going to be banging on my door. That is so fine. I sent you with love and light and all the beautiful things. And I can't wait for that day that you're like, hey, I can't wait to work with you. And I just, I just want to leave you with this last exercise, which is I want you to write down one thing right now that's holding you back because it's not perfect or you're too scared to do it in case it's not perfect. And I really want you to ask yourself, what fear is underneath this? Because we blanket things with, I'm just a perfectionist. No, there's something. There's something there. There is a fear. There is a reason that you're a perfectionist. And it can be your superpower, but it can also be the thing that's stopping you from greatness, from sharing that magical spark that you have from that passion in the industry, whatever that passion may be. And you deserve to show the world. And then finally, I want you to reframe it with an affirmation. So, even if, put your fear in here, even if I'm rejected, I am still, and then I want you to put something empowering, a good person, great at my job, whatever resonates with you, even if, insert your fear, I am still, insert your affirmation. And I will put this in the show notes for you because this gives you something tangible to do Every time these thoughts come up, write it down. What fear is underneath it? And how can you reframe it with an affirmation? And I'm loving these conversations because I know that this is real. This is what's happening in business. This is what happens every day in every business owner's brain. It's heavy. And perfectionism isn't always the enemy. It's a signal. It's the little flag waving, telling you that there is a fear underneath asking for safety. And healing doesn't come from being flawless. It comes from knowing you're worthy right now. Messy, imperfect, beautifully human. So the next time you notice yourself stalling to be perfect, ask, what fear am I covering up? And how can I show myself safety in this moment? You are so perfect and I'm so proud of you. And that's a wrap on today's episode of the Beauty Business School Podcast. If you love what you heard, don't forget to subscribe and leave a review. It helps us keep bringing you the best beauty biz insights and juicy industry tips. Remember, we're more than just beauty business besties. We're here to help you build a business that turns heads and breaks the rules. Until next time, keep shining, keep thriving and keep showing the world what a beauty boss really looks like.