Needing vs. Wanting – The Energy Behind Your Desires

Have you ever noticed the difference between saying 'I need this' versus 'I want this'? One feels urgent and desperate, while the other feels open and full of possibilities. In today's episode of Investor Evolution: Elevate the Podcast, we explore how shifting your mindset from need to want can alter the way you attract success, wealth, and fulfillment in your life. Join us as we break down the hidden energy behind these words, why need-based thinking keeps you stuck in scarcity and fear, and how you can rewire your language and mindset to step into abundance. We will discuss practical tips and strategies to help you elevate your life in business, relationships, and more. Don't miss out on learning how to live with purpose, joy, and confidence. Share this episode with your friends, subscribe, and start transforming your life today!
00:00 Introduction: The Power of Words
00:44 Welcome to Investor Evolution
01:15 The Energy of Needing vs. Wanting
02:59 Understanding Need-Based Thinking
06:05 The Impact of Want-Based Thinking
21:43 Practical Tips for Shifting Mindset
28:12 Reflection and Homework
29:17 Final Thoughts and Recap

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Transcript

0:00

Have you ever noticed the difference in how it feels to say, I need this versus I want this? One feels heavy, urgent, and even desperate, while the other feels expansive and full of possibility. That's because needing often comes from a place of scarcity, while wanting is rooted in abundance. Today, we're breaking down the hidden energy behind these two words and how shifting your mindset from need to want can change the way you attract success, wealth, and fulfillment in all areas of your life. Welcome to investor evolution, elevate the podcast, designed to help busy professional women like you, rise higher in every area of life. Whether you're looking to create financial freedom, reclaim your time, or find harmony while you're thriving in your career, this show is for you. Join me each week. As we uncover strategies to grow your wealth, nurture your personal development, and elevate your life to new heights. So you can live with purpose, joy, and confidence. Hey, everyone. Thank you for joining me today as we talk about this difference between wanting something and needing something and the energy that is different between the two and why it's important to make sure we use our words purposefully. So why does this matter? Our words and our thoughts shape our actions and ultimately our results. Many of us operate From a subconscious place of need, creating stress, pressure, and resistance. And I have definitely been in that space. I need this to work. I really need this extra money. And it comes with a much different energy, a much different feeling, and it actually can repel exactly what we're trying to get. Shifting from Needing to wanting actually moves us into possibility, ease, and attraction, allowing us to elevate our lives in business, relationships, and all the other areas of importance for us. So what are we going to be talking about? There's a couple of points that we're going to be making today. The key difference between needing and wanting and how they affect your energy. We're going to talk about why need based thinking keeps you stuck in scarcity and in fear. We're going to discuss how shifting to wanting allows for growth, expansion, and alignment. And we're going to talk about some simple ways to rewire your language and your mindset to step into the area of abundance. Let's dive in. The difference between needing and wanting. Needing is Scarcity and lack. When you say I need something, there's a desperation there. There's a sense of urgency, a sense of scarcity. I don't have it. It puts a vibe out when you say it. I need that. It feels heavy. It feels desperate. And it signals to your brain that you are in survival mode. And that creates stress and fear based decision making. And we don't want to make important life decisions, business decisions, strategic decisions when we're in Scarcity and when we have a fear based mindset. Some examples, I need money, right? It creates pressure and worry. I don't have enough. How am I going to get it? Where is it going to come from? I need this deal to go through. Oh, friends. I have been in this spot. I need this to work. And it feels stressful. And it narrows and limits what you I actually can do. When I think about the opposite, how can I make this deal work? How can I make this deal go through? Doesn't that open up the possibilities versus I'm on this track. It has to work. I need to make it happen. Feels so narrow and limited. Another example. Especially when we're dealing with other people, I need my partner to support me more. It sounds as if you're blaming them, that it's their fault, that they're not supporting you and things aren't working. And again, it creates that feeling of lack. Why are these problems? Why is this a problem? Well, need, when you have that need, And that energy that comes along behind it, when our hands and our fists are closed, what are they not? They're not open. When they're not open, you can't receive stuff. When they're closed and tight, nothing can get in there. And to me, that's exactly how that energy feels is It pushes away opportunities because they can't, they can't come in. They have no place to land. So that energy is repellent to the opportunities that you're trying to attract. And it puts you in a reactive state of mind versus a creative one. The difference between I need this deal to go through versus how can I make this deal work? There's a shift and a difference. This one, you're on a one tracked mind, you just need it to happen. Whereas this one, you're open to possibilities. You're open to abundance. You're open to creative ideas. A big difference between those two. When I think about the word want, and when you say, I want this, again, my automatic posture, for those of you who are listening on a podcast, whether it's Apple or Spotify, I'm showing the difference between clenched fists for needing and open Face up palms for wanting, and again, it feels to me that just feels like the natural posture. When I want something, it's about choosing something instead of having to have it, needing to have it for survival. And it helps us move from that feeling of lack to Possibilities to opportunities and attraction, right? That starts becoming more attractive. Here are some examples of want based thinking. I want to create wealth. I want to create more wealth. That feels open. It feels empowering. It feels creative. It feels choice driven. I want to do it. How can I do it? Now it gets your creative juices flowing and you're thinking in more of an open way. Another one, I want to grow my confidence in investing, for example. This inspires action rather than fear. Oh, I need to invest in my future. Well, that doesn't feel great. Even just saying that feels like scarcity. But when you say, I want to grow my confidence in investing, okay, how am I going to do that? That invites questions. And when you have those questions, that openness, doesn't it feel more expansive already? Even before we've done anything, it just feels expansive and it makes you want to move into action. So why does this way of thinking work? Wanting is tied to creation versus desperation. The whole shift in perception is to that feeling of creation, abundance, attraction. It gives you control over your own actions rather external circumstances dictating where you go. I think about it as ship. If you're wanting something, you can set a course, you have your motor, you can steer where you want to go. And if you're needing something, I think about it as a life raft or a dinghy maybe you don't have any oars, you don't have a motor, and you're just drifting with the tide. Everything outside of that boat is going to dictate where that boat goes, not necessarily you. And that is a good illustration for me to think, okay, do I want everything outside of me to be I want to be in control and pushing me where I'm going, whether I want to or not, or do I want to be in control and do I want to steer my life where I want it to go? Another reason why this works is it aligns with growth and expansion and that growth mindset versus that closed mindset, which aligns with fear and scarcity. So next I want to talk about how this need based thinking is creating resistance for us. Needing leads to poor decision making because when you operate out of need, you're, you make choices out of urgency, out of lack, out of desperation, instead of out of alignment. And when you feel that need, you feel like you have to do it, and you're going to move faster and perhaps more recklessly because you don't have the ability to step back and ask yourself, is this where I want to be? Do I want to align with this? And I will tell you, I was in a job for 13 plus years because I needed it and it was slowly killing me. I desperately needed the job because I was making good money and it drained me. I am no longer in that space, that position. You could not pay me enough to go back there. If you took me five years ago and said, Hey. We're going to double your salary, but you have to stay in this position for the rest of your life. I would have taken it because I was desperate and I needed it. And right now, you couldn't pay me enough. A difference between that lack, that scarcity versus that abundance mindset. It's a huge difference. Another example. that may come up, especially in business, is if you need a client. And I've recently been in a situation where some investors needed money and they accepted lenders who had terms that were slightly misaligned from what they wanted. However, they still took on those, those lenders and borrowed that money because they needed it. And now it's created some problems later on because there was a mismatch or a misalignment of expectations and that has created some tension. I think one of the biggest things I've learned from that situation is that if the borrowers and the lenders don't align on their goals, their timelines, the way they operate, it is better to walk away and let that deal go than to get into that deal when things are misaligned. That creates a ripple effect down the road and there will be problems and it's okay to say thank you so much for offering To be my lender, but we're misaligned and I don't think we should work together on that. Now for borrowers, that can be hard if you're down to the wire. You maybe already have money on the line, but it's a decision that you need to make. Are you willing to work with people because you need that money and they may not align with you or Is it better to wait and seek out other opportunities for people who want to work together, that there's better alignment. And it's a hard thing. I'm not saying that's easy or an easy decision to make, especially if you could lose a deal. But there are consequences of those choices down the road. So, things to think about. Another thing that this need based thinking creates resistance in is, it creates this attachment and this pressure. For example, if you need something and you grip it too tightly, it can create resistance. Excuse me. Also going back to this feeling of energy and attraction versus repelling. Of course, anytime you have that needing, if you can feel it right, if you have a salesperson who's coming at you and they like, Like, need a sale. You can feel it and doesn't that repel you back? You don't, you don't want to be a part of that. It makes you feel uncomfortable we can sense that neediness. People can sense when others are needy, whether that's in business, networking and relationships. An example of this would be again, in sales, if you're going into a meeting saying, I need them to say yes, they have the power, not you. One of the phrases I learned in a network marketing business is"marry the process, divorce the results." And this is a hard thing to do, but if you can just go through the process and the outcome is up and open, and you allow that to just happen as it does and you're not married to the outcome, It creates a space of openness that allows things to flow much easier. So, the contrast of, I need them to say yes, would be in a more open, growth mindset would be, I am going to present my best offer and see if we align. Then that puts you in control. Are you a good fit for me? Am I a good fit for you? And that's where we want to be, especially in sales. Because we may not be. I may not be a fit for you. And that's okay. We're going to move on to diving into this wanting energy. So how shifting to wanting things elevates our energy. I want to give a story from a couple of books that I've been reading lately, The Gap and the Gain, and they talk about it in 10x is easier than 2x. These books are by Dan Sullivan and Benjamin Hardy. They give these examples of wanting, and when you say, well, I want this, a lot of times people will ask you, well, why do you need that? Now, if you, you express your want to someone, like, I want to go to, Fiji and spend my anniversary in one of those over the ocean huts. Well, why do you need to do that? Is a lot of times the question you might get. Well, why do you need that? There's two ways you can respond. Well, I've worked really hard, and I deserve a vacation, and I want to spend this time with my husband. You know, and you can go on justifying why you want that. And it turns into a need, doesn't it? You're justifying it of why you need it. Versus the other response of I don't need it, I just want it. And that can be really uncomfortable for people, that you want something and you're okay with just wanting it, that you don't have to justify it. And that has been a huge mind shift for me, and I think it's really powerful to just want things and not have to justify them. That's what kids do. That's what my kids do. My son Easton has challenged me in this and I'm starting to come around to his way of thinking because it's so much more powerful. He just wants things and he'll ask for them and and whether it's from us or from strangers. And a lot of times he gets it. And it's been a huge example for me because I have justified. Why do I need that? Why, why should I get that? Oh, I don't deserve it, so I'm not going to ask for it. Those are the things that go through my head. But my son is just like, Hey, I want to ride on the very front car of the Mount Everest ride in Walt Disney World So I'm gonna ask great guess what he got to do right in the very front of that ride. You know and he asks for things because he just wants them and I think it's a very powerful example of Going for it and I have had to Step back and realize, I have limited myself because I feel like I have to justify what I want. And I want to encourage you that it's okay to just want things because you want them. And you don't have to justify it to anybody. If you want it, go for it. So when we talk about shifting to this wanting and how it changes your energy. Wanting creates expansion, right? We've talked about this, and it allows for openness and choice instead of feeling this like you're forced into a certain way or feeling like you're under control of something else. Instead of saying, I need to lose weight, you can say, I want to feel strong and energized. And doesn't that feel so much better if that's your goal, I want to feel strong and energized versus I want to just lose weight. It changes the feel of it in such a powerful way. Instead of saying, I need this investment to work out and you say, I want to explore the best opportunities available to me. What else is out there? It opens your mind to a ton of different possibilities. Maybe this investment that you're looking at is incredible. Maybe there is something much better out there for you and you're open to those possibilities. Another thing that this does, wanting invites flow and possibility. And you can feel it in all that we've talked about. When you want something, you start taking aligned action. Towards it. And this is where that you divorce the outcome. You, you don't have attachment to it. You're working towards it, but you don't have to have it. Instead of saying, I need this person to like me, you can just say, I want to build authentic connections. Instead of saying, I need to make this sale, You can say, again, back to that alignment, I want investors who are aligned with our purpose and our vision. Those are the people I want to work with. Maybe that's you, maybe it's not, and that's okay. Another thing that it does is wanting puts you in a position of power. Needing drives and gives your power away to something else and someone else. But wanting keeps you in control. If you say, I need more time. Well, that feels closed and it gives your power away. But when you say, I want to create more space in my schedule for what matters most, you get to be the author of that calendar, right? You get to create the space, the times, so that you can put in there what matters most for you. You are in control. Next I want to talk about some practical tips on how you can shift from needing to wanting. And I'm going to give you four strategies here. So number one, reframe your language. I want you to start noticing when you say I need. When you hear yourself say, I need something, I want you to stop. I want you to catch it, throw that one out and replace it with, I want. I want something. I did it this morning. I need more time. Nope. I want to look at my schedule and create more space for the things that matter most to me. It's going to take time. You're not going to be perfect at this right out of the gate. You're going to catch yourself. But the quicker you catch yourself, before it even comes out of your mouth even, I need, nope, I want, it's going to help start shifting. And it's, it's an exercise, so just bring it to your awareness and as you hear that I need, you're going to shift it to I want. So again, instead of saying I need more clients, I want to attract clients who are aligned with my values and what I'm doing. Number two, shift your focus from fear to possibility. If you feel scarcity creeping in, and this is, this happens, this is natural. Again, this is the dance that we're in of becoming aware of our thoughts. A lot of these thoughts are very subconscious. You don't even notice them. But now you're going to because we've talked about it. So as you notice that feeling of scarcity creeping back in, I want you to, especially if it's things like, what if this doesn't work out? What if I can't make it happen? I want you to catch those questions that you're asking yourself and throw them out and ask, what if it works out better than I imagined? How could it turn out better? How can I make this work for my good? How can this be a better opportunity for me? And start asking yourself questions of how to make it better, how to improve it, how to expand it. What's awesome about your brain is when you ask it questions, it searches for answers. So if you ask negative questions, What if this doesn't work out? What is your brain going to think about? It's going to think about negative things of how it's not going to work out. But when you ask, how could this work out? How could this turn out better than I even thought? Your brain is going to think about those questions and find answers. And already, doesn't that lift your mood? Doesn't that increase your energy? It's very powerful. Number three. Gratitude. Practice an attitude of gratitude. Gratitude is so helpful. When you are grateful for what you have now and where you are now, and you realize the abundance that you have, you can't help but be satisfied where you are, even though you want more. I'm grateful for where you are, even if you want more. This is an interesting thought that wanting more and wanting other things can only exist when you feel abundant in the present because otherwise what happens you shift to, I need. And this is something that I've been thinking about a lot lately. I've been thinking like, I need to make more money. I need to do this. I need to have this. And what I'm realizing is I have everything. I have everything that I need. I have enough money. I have a job that I am loving. I, I have an incredible family. I get to spend time with my family more so than I have in the past. I am grateful for where things are and because of that, I don't need anything. That is powerful. When I don't need anything, then my imagination gets to be, well, what can I create? What can I do? Where could I go? It's a very different energy shift and it's very empowering. And I've been doing this since June, July 2024. So not that long, but every morning I write down three things that I'm grateful for. That daily gratitude reinforces that you already have enough and that more is coming and more is on the way. Cause every day, guess what? I have more things that I'm grateful for. I haven't run out of anything that I'm grateful for. I. Every day. I haven't been able to get to a day where I was like, Nope, not grateful for anything. No. Every day there is more. And that more, that abundance creates abundance. It's, it's fascinating. Gratitude is incredibly important. And number four, and again, this is something I'm working on. Detach yourself from the outcome. Needing is gripping tightly, but wanting is open, taking aligned action, and trusting the process. Trusting that it's gonna work out. Trusting that it's gonna work out better than you even anticipated. So, let's recap those four things. Reframe your language. If you start saying, I need, you're gonna catch it. Throw that one out and say, I want. Number two. You're going to shift your focus from fear to possibility instead of what if it doesn't work out? What if it does? What, what if it happens better than I could have thought? Number three, you're going to practice that gratitude for what you already have, the abundance that you already have. And number four, you're going to detach yourself from the outcome. All right, let's reflect a little bit and talk about homework. You know, I love some homework. So reflection question of the day, where in my life am I operating from need instead of want? For me, a big one has been money, right? Oh, I need to make more money, but when I sit down and look at it, I have enough. I have enough. Everything that I need. Right? Now I can work on the abundance side of things. I want you to, here's your homework for the day, I want you to write down three things that you currently need and rewrite them as wants so that they start feeling expansive and powerful and empowering for you to move you forward. And I want you to pay attention to how these shifts change your energy and change your perspective and change the way you move towards those. I think it'll be very powerful. Okay, so final recap, remember needing is scarcity and when, when you have your fists closed, nothing else can come in there. Wanting is abundance. You're open to receive what is for you. Need based thinking creates resistance, whereas want based thinking invites flow and abundance. Reframing your mindset creates powerful shifts. And the last thought of the day. What you focus on expands when you shift from needing to wanting, you invite more opportunities, more ease, and more success into your life. I wanna know how it goes this week. I want to hear how shifting those three things that you need. into wants and reframing those, how that helps you this week as you move forward. And please like, subscribe. If you found value here, please share this episode with your friends. And until next time, have a great week.