Graced to Lead
The Graced to Lead Podcast is an empowering space dedicated to women, designed to inspire, equip, and nurture their leadership abilities in every aspect of life. We are here to remind you of the extraordinary God-grace you possess to lead with confidence and Biblical wisdom, whether in your professional endeavors, at home, in your business, or within your ministry.
Join us weekly for a journey of personal growth and empowerment. Each episode and post is crafted to challenge and inspire you, providing insights and tools that propel you forward in your leadership path. Graced to Lead is more than a podcast; it's a call to embrace God's grace to lead, even if you feel unqualified. Here, we believe in your power to gracefully, boldly, and effectively lead God’s way!
What to expect: solo episodes, conversations with guests, and even a few giveaways.
Graced to Lead
S2E17: Marriage, Faith, and Leading Together with Michael and Belinda Gaston
What 25 years of marriage taught us about faith, family, and leading well—together.
In this special Graced to Lead season finale, I’m joined by my husband, Michael, for his very first appearance on the podcast! Together, we reflect on:
- The leadership lessons we’ve learned in 25 years of marriage
- How we’ve navigated seasons of transition—retirement, new callings, and raising kids in different stages
- Why faith has been the anchor holding our marriage, family, and leadership together
This is a real, honest, and faith-filled conversation about supporting one another, letting go when God says “it’s time,” and staying grounded in family and laughter. Whether you’re leading at home, in business, or in ministry, you’ll find encouragement and practical wisdom here.
Don’t miss this close to Season 2 and get ready for what’s coming next in Season 3!
Please subscribe to our mailing list to stay connected and get updates! Thanks for listening to the Graced to Lead Podcast.
Hey, it's Belinda, host of the Grace to Lead podcast, and listen today is different. First of all, it is our season finale for season two of the Grace to Lead podcast, so this is the last episode of season two. Don't worry, we'll be back with season three. And today I have a special guest on. I have my husband, michael Gaston, on, and we are talking about leadership, we're talking about marriage and we're talking about faith. 'm Belinda Gaston, your host, and listen y'all. This week we have our very own first male guest on the Grace to Lead podcast, none other than my husband, michael Gaston. Hey, honey.
Michael Gaston:Hello everyone.
Belinda Gaston:So this is the season finale for season two, honey, and God told me to put you on here and you said yes, he said yes, y'all. So today you and I are going to talk about leadership and our marriage, so let me go ahead and introduce you properly, okay, so let me introduce you properly to Michael. Michael Gaston and I have been married for 25 years. We have three children, two college children and one middle schooler and we are in the stage of our life right now where we are transitioning. I think we've transitioned for the last few years between.
Belinda Gaston:Michael has a long career in law enforcement and I've had I still am working in public health as a leader, but also have in the last few years, you know, transitioned in creating Grace to Lead the podcast, the leadership development firm and the ministry, and so it's been a lot of transition. Also, michael has retired and so he's also restarting a new career and we'll talk about that a little bit in acting, as well as his consulting for church security services. So I can say we're in transition, but that is who he is. So welcome, michael Gaston, to the show.
Michael Gaston:Thank you, Thank you honey.
Belinda Gaston:All right, so I have questions, y'all, and if you are watching us on YouTube, hi welcome. This is my second video that I posted on YouTube, if you are listening. Thank you for listening to the Grace Elite Podcast, and so we're going to start with our first question Question number one. Question number one. So let's start with leadership, right Leadership After 25 years of marriage. What's one leadership lesson you've learned about us navigating life together?
Michael Gaston:I would say the main thing I learned about navigating leadership within a family context is discussing everything, talking about everything, before you implement anything. Without those discussions it can go sideways and I've proven without discussing things that it has and will go sideways. So whatever's going on in your marriage or whatever plans you have for the marriage or for the family, there has to be some type of discussion. Whether you disagree or agree or whatever, it's good to have those discussions. So whatever your plans are, they don't go sideways, so everybody's on the same page.
Belinda Gaston:Yeah, I think that's that's really good.
Belinda Gaston:So for me, I think the challenge is especially for women who lead is like though I was, I'm leading in corporate spaces and I have a leadership role at the church.
Belinda Gaston:At home, you're still the head of our household, and so I know when we first got married, it was hard for me to accept some of the decisions that you made, that kind of thing and I appreciate the fact that you started telling me I don't necessarily think that I changed your mind a lot, but you allow me to offer my ideas and kind of tell me your point of view what was the hardest part about that? What's the hardest part about that? Like, like, what's the hardest part about communicating? Cause it's not like when we met and I've now met, like uncle Mike, so other people in the family like it's not like the men in the family are super communicative. You know it's not like they're all saying, hey, let's discuss, and so I imagine you coming into my life and me coming into your life, where I like y'all, I like to discuss everything, I want to know how you're feeling, what you do, like all of that, and that's not really him. So what's what was the hardest part about getting adjusted to that in marriage.
Michael Gaston:Oh, like you said, I come from a family of men that grew up pretty much suck it up. You do a, b and C and don't deviate from that, and we didn't talk about feelings or any of that stuff, or even to the point of whatever the plans are for the household. Everybody pretty much had the same plan and everybody was on the same page. So you come into a relationship where you have a significant other that wants more details and things of that nature and that could be, uh, frustrating, but it helps you. It helps you that's the word I'm looking for.
Michael Gaston:It helps you focus whatever your plans are, or it helps you narrow it down or have a what is the word it's? You have everything in boxes, organized, organized. There we go, organized. So it helps you organize your plans better. I mean that stuff is in the Bible, so you know you organize your plans so that everything, when it's implemented, it goes a lot more smoother. You're still going to run into little hiccups here and there, but at least you have a plan to go by. So it makes it made me there, but at least you have a plan to go by. So it makes it made me, as a man, think about more of the details of things and also to discuss things, because you know, I don't have all the answers, I don't have all the ideas. There's certain things I haven't experienced where those questions have to be raised, where it makes me go look for that thing. So communication it just helps. If you don't, if you're not a big talker, it helps you to communicate anyway.
Belinda Gaston:Yeah, I think for me, the biggest lesson was allowing you to lead honestly. And I don't know if any of our listeners can resonate with this, but I came from a lineage of women with a couple of exceptions, but a lineage of women who were divorced, and so if you're a single mom and you're raising your kids, you have to do everything, and before that, being in relationships where you just didn't have that kind of level of trust, I had to learn how to trust that, one, you would consult God before you made decisions and, two, that you had the best interest for our household. And so I literally had to unlearn. I don't know if this makes sense, but I kind of had to unlearn the I. I'm a strong woman and I'm gonna do everything on my own and allow you to have that responsibility. Does that make sense?
Michael Gaston:it sounds weird but no, it makes sense because on the flip side, you also have men that were raised in single parent household and the mother was the leader of the household. The men tend to lay back and let the woman do all the things, versus no, this is your job, this is your responsibility. But if you haven't, thankfully been from church and men that I worked in law enforcement, even been from the streets and that nature, that's what helped me to realize okay, we got everything flipped and we need to flip it back. And also in that communication and leading, you have to learn how to lead.
Belinda Gaston:That's really, that was really good. So okay, let's talk about support, because this comes up a lot. I have women who lead, who message sometimes and say, well, you're giving great advice, but my husband doesn't really support my leadership in these areas and I understand what that's like. But since we've been married the last 25 years I have felt nothing but support. I mean even early on, because when we first got married I was kind of climbing the corporate ladder and I was really a go-getter then Not as much so now, but then I was and I never felt like you didn't support my promotions at work.
Belinda Gaston:I never felt like it was a competition between the two of us. But as you led the house and led in spaces outside the house for me and I can describe the kind of support I needed from you and how we, because I think that we did a good job of support I mean, I hope I don't know, but I feel like you at least did a good job of supporting me and I hope I still did a good job of supporting you. But how would you describe the kind of support that you needed in your own leadership journey?
Michael Gaston:Well, definitely off the rip encouragement. I don't think anybody's going to be able to do anything without any type of encouragement from their significant other. So you're in the same household so you might not get that encouragement from people outside of the household, but you as a man, you definitely expect that encouragement in the house, no matter what's going on outside. We have encouragement from home, so that's off the rip. So as far as encouraging each other, I'm always for anybody, especially my wife, especially my wife, if you're trying to better yourself, not just for yourself but for the household in the whole, because that helps the household. That helps out the household financially, that helps out the household spiritually, that helps out the household physically. So I would say that's why I encourage.
Michael Gaston:And if one person in the household not just me, if it was one of the kids and their stuff already set up for their business or whatever, then I would say we pour our attention to that, encourage that kid entrepreneurship in the household. If I can give you the suggestions and I can tell you like hey, you know, joshua knows how to do that, let's reach out to him. Jada knows how to do that, let's reach out for her to help you with that. You know, even Olivia knows how to do this. Let's all just pull it together and that is being a to me being a leader of the household, being a to me being a leader of the household.
Belinda Gaston:I think that's a family thing and I will say that y'all, he always like he has brilliant ideas and he, I don't think, understands how his brilliance, but that's a whole. I feel like that might be a part two conversation, but but you brought up something that made me think, and so one of the things that I'm really focused on right now, as it relates to support cause we're talking about, like support for leaders, is also helping to birth your visions, right, and so me and the kids talk all the time about like how we can help you, especially now because we're in transition. You've retired now, so you've got more time to do these things. I think that support goes both ways, and so I appreciate the fact that you supported me and my climbing up to the corporate ladder, because it wasn't easy with the young kids and all that. And you are so hardworking, like you were always working, and so you were patient with me, and I think for me it's the little things.
Belinda Gaston:It's like understanding that my desire may be to have a spotless house, but sometimes there might be dishes in the scene. Now, once the kids got older, it's like, okay, now y'all do the dishes. That's why we had kids, but you know what I'm saying. It's like that I feel like we work well together and what I had to realize as a leader, but also as a wife, is that it's never I think our pastor says this all the time it's never 50-50. Marriage is 100-100. So I'm all in, you're all in, and we have to navigate those.
Michael Gaston:We have no expectations. A lot of people believe if they put in their 100%, there's going to be an expectation for reciprocation, and it doesn't go that way all the time. So if you're just going to do it, I would say, just do it without any expectations, because that's where your disappointments come in and that's where the enemy uses that to drive a wedge between you and your wife or your husband. Is is doing it without expectations and forgiveness always has to be in the forefront of your mind, because if you don't have forgiveness and you get rid of your expectations, you're going to have the enemy uses that to cause thoughts in your head. That's what is a killer to me from that.
Belinda Gaston:Yeah, I'm glad you said that, because I had ridiculous expectations when we got married. I didn't know what to expect and I feel like we watch TVs and movies and you're like, oh, it's going to be like this, and when it's not, it's easy for you to your mind to wander, and I'm sure you had these moments because we talked about it where, like, but this is not what I expected. And then we go through seasons too, like in the 25 years. I feel like we've gone through cycles. There are times when one of us is feeling one way and the other person is feeling another, but God's always allowed us to find our way back. So I don't want people to think also that this is I don't know. Would you say it was easy?
Michael Gaston:No, it can be easy, but you have to have God in your life at ground zero, god, then you know when those disappointments or those surprises or your expectations are not met. Without God, you can go anywhere with God At least. Okay, lord, you can say Lord, what is this? That's not the person I met.
Belinda Gaston:And I'm telling you, boy, there have been some. You know, as leaders, we want to make sure that we are walking in our authentic selves. We say that, but the reality is your authentic self changes in seasons. Who I was when I was in my 20s, when we got married, versus my 30s, my 40s and now it's like I'm. I look at myself sometimes I'm like, oh, we this. I went through some seasons, but you, yeah, you had? Yeah, you had to deal with all of me and my drama and all that.
Michael Gaston:No, God knew what he was doing. My hair fell out in the 80s you know what you in the hair?
Belinda Gaston:I'm just getting you ready. All right, all right. So let's talk, because we talk about God a lot, and this is gracefully, we do talk about God in the podcast, and so let's talk about faith.
Michael Gaston:How has faith impacted how you lead our home? Got rid of all the expectations? A lot of the TV versus reality, that's a lot. All the expectations. Because you have to compare what the Word says to what your reality says, what your expectations say. You always got to compare it against the Word of God and you have to find other godly men or godly people to bounce those expectations off of. To me what faith does in your relationship in your marriage in leadership everything. It gets rid of all these expectations that are not real.
Belinda Gaston:So let's talk about transitions. So retirement for you was a big transition. You know you were leading in the space for a long time and then all of a sudden that changed. Now you're kind of finding your way and doing, and I kind of feel like you're finding your purpose and doing the things you like, and at the same time we have two kids that went off to college and we're kind of the dynamics in our household have changed a little bit. And then I started Grace to Lead and so that's a big change because the time I had, free time I had after my corporate job has changed. So we just kind of I feel like we're all in transition and we're people of a certain age. So that's life transition, right, people of a certain age, so that's life transition right, See that in the stomach.
Belinda Gaston:That's okay, that's love.
Michael Gaston:That's love we working on it right, Both of us Just do the sit-ups.
Belinda Gaston:Do our sit-ups. But I think, if we think about transition, how has these kind of shifts and transitions affected, you think, us as a couple, how we relate to one another?
Michael Gaston:Well, retiring I'm just going to put that out there Me retiring from law enforcement was abrupt and a surprise to the family. I'll be honest, my expectations versus the reality of law enforcement and my faith at the time kind of developed stress beyond reality. Had I had more faith in God on my job, maybe the transition from work into retirement wouldn't have been so abrupt, because it did impact the family. So that was a sudden transition and that's where unification should have kicked in and all these other things that I talked to you guys about. I didn't do. That transition was a shock to the family and everything.
Michael Gaston:But you know, praise to God, all that and a leveled out because that gave me that time that I needed to get back in the words, to get back in communication with God, to find out like what's, what's up, what's next and things of that nature, like what's up, what's next and things of that nature. So those transitions are still. We're still feeling the repercussions of those things, but it's really trusting in God that everything is going to work out like it's supposed to be. I don't think, even though it was abrupt, I don't think I was meant to be in law enforcement as long as I have been, and it's that part of letting go. Sometimes you hold on to something that God wants you to let go of and some of us hold on tight when now it's like he's like okay, jab, jab, hook, I'm going to make you let go, but now it's finding that transition from what I used to do to what God would have me do now, and I forgot the question.
Belinda Gaston:It's okay. No, this is good. This is good. I told you it's a conversation. Yeah, it's a conversation.
Michael Gaston:I go around the mulberry bush since I retired.
Belinda Gaston:Y'all. He is turning into those people on the commercials. So, if you see him standing out saying get off my lawn and talking to people.
Michael Gaston:Staring out the window at you.
Belinda Gaston:Talking to the else.
Michael Gaston:Yeah, we can't let you be that guy, but I do.
Belinda Gaston:First, I'm really surprised that you've been as transparent, but the abrupt change and how you manage it and how what God has done has been amazing. I had the realization the other day that, like, even though so what you're saying is, is that about the retirement? That really was abrupt y'all. Like he literally made the decision, the paperwork started and just kind of came home and announced it and we weren't. When you, someone like me as a planner, like I had a plan, I had outlines, I had this. We're going to do this first.
Belinda Gaston:We're going to do this second all of that was out the window and it was a tough road for us to get over because there was resentment there was. It was a lot, but he also, at the same time you were having some health challenges with your heart and so the flip side of that is, had you stayed, who knows what would happen with the stress on your heart? But recently, like in this time, so if you've been following, you know that God has put me in this place where I kind of stopped and was resting and just listening to God and I was thinking about you in retirement the other day and how like it's almost like retirement for you was a rebirth of faith. I mean you are reading your word more than I've seen. I mean you are already a believer but like the level and the depth of your study time and your prayer time and even how you lead us in prayer is just so different and I believe that we wouldn't have gotten there if it wasn't for retirement. And so I think there are those benefits.
Belinda Gaston:And then you also just said that whole thing about how we hold on this stuff, and that is so true. I mean we hold on this stuff that God is sometimes trying to make us let go of. And you're right, if we don't decide to let go of it, god was just like well, I'm going to rip it from you. Yeah, hook, hook, jab. Yeah, hook, hook, jab, hook, yeah. I think some women may say it differently.
Belinda Gaston:I don't quite understand that reference. But yes, the kickboxing I did take that kickboxing class. Yeah, I got it. I think that's important. I want to encourage you if you're listening I don't know if you're finding this conversation helpful One thing I would like to say as a leader, especially a woman who leaves who's married. You know when these kinds of shifts happen in our lives. You know you got to feel what you feel, but on the other side of it, sometimes it's better, cause I even feel like trying to read the questions.
Belinda Gaston:I even feel like you and I spend more time together, see things differently, and it's all from that one kind of abrupt experience. Yeah, I think that's one way we're going to. I think I'd like for us to. Oh sorry, were you going to say something?
Michael Gaston:I think you know sometimes you can be comfortable in your discontent about knowing that you're not content something like that Wow. It's a comfortability that God's trying to shake everybody out of.
Belinda Gaston:Comfortable in your discontent. Wow, pretty deep.
Belinda Gaston:I feel like that's a C-line moment that's what we call it. You're right, and maybe that's what I would have said. Selah moment that's what we call it. You're right, and maybe that's the point. Even in our leadership we can get so comfortable in our situation and trusting the situation, like trusting our jobs or trusting our positions, or even in our households, trusting that things are going to be the way they are. I really didn't anticipate that our son would be moving on to campus this year. I expected him to do what our oldest did, which is go to campus one year and then be like okay, I'm done, I want to stay home and commute, and so you know, it's a different dynamic.
Michael Gaston:And that's another transition that was kind of to me sudden and abrupt, but it's something that happens and it's something that you have to really lean into God and reach out to God for help to. Those type of transitions happen, and if you don't have it planned out it can catch you sideways.
Belinda Gaston:Yeah, but God is so faithful, like I think, the 25 years we've been married and God has not abandoned us in any way, from people dying to financial troubles, to us being upset with one another and kid stuff, like he has never, ever failed us Just waiting for you to calm down.
Michael Gaston:so we can talk to you.
Belinda Gaston:That's really it. I don't like how you directed that. You mean me calm down, or you mean the proverbial Everybody gets angry.
Michael Gaston:Nobody wants to say you can get angry at God for whatever reason, but he's just waiting for you so he can talk to you.
Belinda Gaston:I feel like that should be on the t-shirt. Just calm down and let God talk.
Belinda Gaston:Yeah, calm down so I can talk to you and I will say, in this relationship I am the tornado, which is crazy, because most of you know how calm I am. I'm just not as calm as him, but he doesn't react. He responds, so he's calm until he's not, and then it's like go time. So, whereas I process and all that I guess that's why God put us together right, we're balanced. I think that we'll end our conversation, because time went by really fast.
Michael Gaston:And what was the last question? Did we ever get to the last question? I?
Belinda Gaston:don't think so. It's okay, you want to get to the last question. You'd like the last question.
Michael Gaston:I'd like to answer the question, since it's a conversation.
Belinda Gaston:Hold on, hold on. No, you know you shouldn't talk about people like that. No, don't do it. Don't do it okay here. What's this one right here?
Michael Gaston:yeah, did we get to those?
Belinda Gaston:no, but we're out of time we're out of time we'll have to do a part two, because we talked about faith.
Michael Gaston:The last one is faith and family.
Belinda Gaston:Yeah, so what's in here? Okay, so what's one way we try to keep our family grounded when life and leadership feel busy? That's the last question.
Michael Gaston:Oh, you have to do your rounds. You know, it's almost like you know how the old kings back in the Bible will walk the kingdom to see how everybody's doing. And that's how you keep people grounded in the family. You know, sometimes you go to the kids and talk with them or, you know, kick their door open and just do stuff just to make sure that they're good. Kick the door open. Kick the door open, knock over some pages and stuff. Sometimes you can gauge where your kids are, you know, depending on how annoyed they get when you do stuff. So that, to me, helped keep them grounded. And you know, they know you love them. Or you wouldn't even go in their room and stuff like that. But yeah, you walk your kingdom, you make sure that everything is good. You talk to people, you know, even if it's a short conversation, even if you just give them a look, and then you move on.
Belinda Gaston:Yeah, I think that's kind of annoying for the kids.
Michael Gaston:Yeah, it is yeah.
Belinda Gaston:For me, I would say, is laughter. I think as a whole our family laughs a whole lot and that kind of helps break things. I mean, even for me sometimes, if I'm focused and I'm kind of stressed out about whatever's happening and whatever the things are, just that brevity of laughter helps. It reminds you that things aren't so serious. Like, at the end of the day, is any of this stuff really that serious? I don't think in the Bible there's anything about thou shall work this particular way during these hours with this checklist. I don't think that God talked about a to do list. It's really of us kind of letting go of control.
Belinda Gaston:And so and I think that also I'm the softer side, so I'm the heart, I think, of the family. And so, while you know, you have your way of monitoring things, I do heart checks, you know, with our kids. I think that works and it's not a competition. I appreciate it. It is not a competition. So I think that's the last question. Do you have any final thoughts for women who lead as it relates to anything that we've discussed? Like, if you had to say one thing to women who lead, from the husband of someone who leads but also who respects your leadership in the house, what would you say?
Michael Gaston:your leadership in the House. What would you say For women who lead? Just recognize that the country that you're in, and there's going to be haters, whether it's going to be men or women, there's going to be haters. But keep in the back of your head. If they were supposed to be doing it or they feel like they're supposed to be leading it, you always have to say then why aren't you? You don't have to say it to their face, but keep that in the back of your, your mind. When everybody's giving you their opinion about how your business should be run or how you should be doing things, just keep it back your head. All right, I hear you. Why aren't you doing it? Because that's what God's going to ask, and if you know you don't have an answer, they go look. Thank you, we'll take your advice under advisement.
Michael Gaston:Yeah that's pretty much it.
Belinda Gaston:Well, and I think, adding to that, you know what we talk about all the time is God called people in certain places of influence, and what we've defined leadership is is influence. And so there's some things that I can say to the people who respond to my voice that if Michael tried to say it, that it wouldn't go over. Well, and there are people who you know Michael is called to. If I try to talk to those people, I don't, they wouldn't receive it. And so I think there's a place where all and I think what I've learned over the years from you is that mutual respect, and you know there've been times we had to call each other on like well, that's not quite respectful. I really like the way you did that, but that mutual respect and communication and just not taking things so seriously, all that kind of stuff matters and it's helpful, so I'm grateful.
Belinda Gaston:All right, so that's all we have for this, our last episode of season two of the grace to lead podcast. I hope that you will come back and listen. Listen, we're already um preparing some great conversations. I've already started interviewing our guests, and so we have some really great guests. So thank you so much for your support of the Grace to Lead podcast. Honey, thank you for saying yes.
Michael Gaston:Thank you for having me.
Belinda Gaston:Thank you for being a guest, as always. I appreciate you. Please remember to like the podcast, share the podcast and if you have topics, remember you can always reach. I appreciate you. Please remember to like the podcast, share the podcast and if you have topics, remember you can always reach out to me. There is a button on the podcast page where you can send me a direct message. I get those directly to my phone, so please feel free to continue to do that. Visit me on the website at BelindaGabsoncom. The Grace Lee podcast information is there and until we see you again next week, remember you are indeed graced to lead.
Michael Gaston:Bye-bye.
