Can Addiction Keep Me Out of Heaven? | Just Nona

There are some questions that reveal just how much pain a person is carrying.

Not because the question is wrong, but because of what it takes to finally ask it out loud.

What does it mean when someone has been sitting alone with this kind of weight — wondering, in their darkest moments, not just whether life is worth living, but whether God still wants them at all?

In this episode of Just Nona, I am answering a heart question from Jessalyn, who is living with severe spine issues, depression, anxiety, and a recurrence of addiction — and is asking one of the most honest questions a person can bring to God:

Can a struggle with addiction and suicidal thoughts be forgiven?

Or am I not going to heaven?

Before anything else — if you are struggling with thoughts of ending your life right now, please reach out. Call or text 988. Your life matters. And you do not have to carry this alone.

This is not a theological lecture.

It is a pastoral conversation about what grace actually covers — and what it does not require of you before it applies.

We talk about:

• Why chronic physical pain can affect the brain, mood, sleep, and emotional regulation
• Why depression, anxiety, and addiction are not simply moral failures
• The lie that God’s acceptance is conditional on performance
• What Romans 8:38–39 says about whether anything can separate you from God’s love
• The difference between salvation and sanctification
• Why suicidal thoughts are not proof that you want to die, but often proof that you want pain to stop
• Why needing help is not a failure of faith
• The practical support someone may need when carrying addiction, depression, chronic pain, or suicidal thoughts

You are not too far gone.

You were never too far gone.

Grace was not designed for the person who has it all together. It was designed for the person who knows they need Jesus right now.

Order my books at:
https://www.nonajones.com/books

If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of self-harm or suicide, please reach out immediately. Call or text 988 — you are not alone, and help is available.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hey friend, this is Nona, and I am so glad that you're here. This podcast exists to provide a safe space where people can ask the hard questions that they're carrying in their heart and receive biblical wisdom from me, a friend. In order for this podcast to be distributed as far and wide as possible, ratings and reviews really, really matter. So when you can, please leave a rating and also leave a comment because I love to read your feedback. I hope that you give it five stars, but whatever rating you give it, it really, really matters. So please just take a minute and let me know what you think, okay? I'm so glad you're here. Enjoy the show. There are some questions that reveal just how much pain a person is carrying. Not because the question itself is wrong, but because of what it takes to ask it out loud, what it means that someone has been sitting alone with this kind of weight, wondering in their darkest moments, not just whether life is worth living, but whether God still wants them at all. Today's question is one of those. And before I say anything else, if you're watching or listening right now and you're struggling with thoughts of ending your life, please reach out to someone today. Call or text 988. You do not have to carry this alone, and your life right now, as it is, in the middle of everything, matters. Now there is a version of faith that gets taught in church that says, if you are really saved, you will live in a constant state of joy and peace. And if you are really trusting God, you won't doubt that things will get better. If you really believe the Bible, you shouldn't be struggling. But for the person who loves God and is still fighting addiction or battling depression, still waking up some mornings, wondering if it would be easier not to wake up at all, that version of faith doesn't comfort, it condemns. But a faith that condemns the wounded is not the faith of Jesus. Today's episode is for anyone who is not sure God still wants you, who's carrying shame about where you are and fear about where you're going, who needs to hear not a sermon, but the truth about what grace actually covers. Let's talk about it. Welcome to Just Nona. Just Nona is not simply a show. For me, it is ministry where I get to share the truth of God's word and answer the questions that so many of us carry in our hearts that we're just afraid to ask. I cannot tell you how many people have either commented or messaged me saying that they have found their way back to hope in Jesus because of the answers provided on this show. Up until now, this show has been entirely funded by me. But God has placed a really big vision in my heart to expand it globally, and I simply can't do it without you. So if you have been blessed by this show, would you consider partnering with me by giving a gift of any amount to help us grow the region and impact of this ministry? If yes, there's two ways to help. If you're watching on YouTube, just click the donate button, or you can head over to nonajones.com and click the give button at the top of the site. Now, when you go to nonajones.com and give there, you can either give a one-time gift of any amount, or if you really believe in this ministry and want to support in a deeper way, you can become a ministry partner by signing up to give monthly. I would be so, so grateful. May God bless you for your generosity. All right, we'll get back to the show. Today's heart question is coming to us from a beautiful, brave sister named Jesseline. Jesseline, welcome to the show. Tell us what's on your heart. Hi, Nina. My name is Jesseline.

SPEAKER_00 4:15

I'm from Dallas, Texas. I found out about you. I was scrolling through Instagram and I saw um some of your posts and listened to some of your podcasts, and I was just blown away how inspirational you are. And I thought that this would be a really good chance to kind of ask a question that I feel that a lot of people wonder about but are too scared to ask. Um so my question is is a person that has addiction issues and suicidal tendencies, can they be forgiven and will they be accepted into heaven?

SPEAKER_01 4:51

Jesseline, thank you so much for the bravery um that you took to ask that question. And as I listen to your question, um, what I'm hearing you ask is, has my struggle somehow disqualified me from God's love? But beneath that question, I think there's another question, which is, am I too far gone to be saved? And what I hope to do in this episode, and I want to say at the outset, for me, this is a very sensitive episode because we're dealing with um, in many ways, issues of life and death. We're dealing with um issues of feeling not just unworthy, but unwanted and unneeded. And so uh this is going to be uh what I would call a relatively deep episode. And I'm gonna ask everyone who knows how to pray to be praying with me, not only for Jesselyn, but for anyone and everyone who watches this, who they themselves are carrying this question. Um, this is a very, very significant question. So before we get to the theology behind your question, Jesseline, I want to name what's happening in your mind and your body, because you know, the question you asked is actually multi-layered. Um, on the one hand, there's the chronic physical pain that is coming from severe spinal issues, pain challenges. Uh, and that does not stay in the body, that actually migrates. Uh, it migrates to places like your mood, to your ability to sleep, your ability to think. Um, it moves to your emotional regulation. And research has shown over and over again that people who live with chronic pain are also significantly more likely to experience mental health issues like depression and anxiety, um, as well as suicidal ideation. That said, it is not because of weak faith, it's because of neurological and physiological challenges, the toll, the unrelenting pain that the body and the mind is going through. And uh that really is more of a human challenge than it is one of salvation. Uh, I remember some years ago, man, gosh, uh I think it was maybe, maybe 10 years ago, I all of a sudden started to have some like severe pain. I think it was in my left big toe. And I remember it was like starting to kind of you know tingle, starting to ache a little bit, uh, but it got to a place where it was so painful. And I didn't, I didn't stub my toe, I didn't actually injure it. Um, but it it got so painful. I could not sleep, I could not walk, um, I couldn't even really sit down. Anything that even lightly brushed up against the toe. Uh, it felt like I was being stabbed in my foot. And I remember laying in bed one night. I was in such, such pain. Like I remember thinking, I was like, how is it that this toe has taken over my whole body? Like I felt the pain in my whole body. And I said to my husband, I said, I can totally understand and empathize with people who are in such deep pain that the only solution they could imagine was ending everything. Like I just I understood in that moment that when you're in such deep pain, the idea of death isn't that scary. It's actually, it's actually welcome because it's like at least then I won't be in pain. And so I want to first acknowledge and affirm that chronic pain that leads to those thoughts is human. It is human. First of all, you are not weird, you're not crazy, you're not broken, uh, you're human. And for people who have never lived with chronic pain, that can seem uh extreme. But um just from the little experience that I had, I developed such a deep empathy for people who live with pain in an unrelenting form, especially when it's throughout your body. So I truly do empathize. Um there's there's the one layer of chronic physical pain, but then there's the other layer of depression. And uh depression is not a spiritual condition necessarily, it's actually a medical one that has spiritual dimensions. And so um you can tend to look at the biochemistry of a person who suffers from depression, and you will see uh that their hormones are very different, very, very different than someone who does not um suffer with depression. And so that I think needs to be acknowledged because sometimes, and look, I believe a thousand percent in deliverance ministry. I operate in the prophetic, like I believe in all of this. I know that demons are real, I know that demonic oppression is real. And I also know that there are people that their depression is uh the result of some biochemistry, chemical imbalances, hormonal imbalances. And so there is a medical dimension to that that can lead to some spiritual implications. Um, things like, you know, saying that faith feels really hard right now. Like I feel hopeless. Um, I don't see uh a future, I don't see a reason to continue. Um, that is an expression of depression. And so depression does have an impact on a person's faith orientation. And that is um, it's understandable because you're dealing with brain chemistry, you're dealing again with uh how a person approaches approaches life based on what's happening in their mind and the way that they're feeling hormonally. So that's to be expected. Now, in addition to the chronic pain and the depression, there's the third layer uh of addiction. And addiction uh is a context that is not simply a uh a moral failure. Addiction does have, again, physical, neurological, chemical um implications. And I again I don't want to glaze over that and just run straight to the theology because I think there are a lot of people who are dealing with addictions and you know you've you've prayed about it, you are uh believe in the Lord for deliverance over it, you're doing everything you can to try to guard against it, and um there's also some things happening um uh neurochemically that you may want to uh see a medical professional about and just get some some tests run and just see if there's something there, just so you have that data as we get ready to get into the theology of it. Something that's important. Um, so I was a microbiology and cell science major in college, planned to become a physician. Uh the Lord ended up kind of taking me in a different path. And so now I'm kind of a spiritual physician, which is really cool, but I am a lover of all things um biology, physiology, psychology, anatomy. I love all those things. So I study them a lot. And one thing I will tell you is many people think that it's either science or faith. I would say that um faith and science are completely compatible because all science does is science explains what is. Faith explains how and why. So um they're not incompatible at all. I think uh there's this idea that if you believe in medicine and science, that somehow you are not a person of faith. But in fact, it is medicine and science that actually helps to strengthen my faith. So I'm bringing all of these things up, Jesselyn, and also for anyone else who uh is listening and watching to this, where you've had challenges with addiction or chronic pain or depression and other mental health challenges, um, that you are not crazy. You are definitely not crazy. And I would highly recommend uh that you you get some tests run to try to see where you are when it comes to your endocrinology and what's happening within your body. Those things matter, okay? So, Jesseline, specifically, I want to affirm you you are not weak, you are not faithless at all. Um, you're simply a person whose body and mind and uh spirit are under enormous strain simultaneously, which uh is incredibly difficult, incredibly challenging. And for people who've never walked that road, they can't possibly understand uh what you've been carrying. Um, but the fact that you are still reaching for God in the midst of it, the fact that you even asked this question is such a blessing to me because it speaks to the fact that despite all that you've been shouldering and carrying, um, that uh that this question in itself is an act of faith. So the question around, you know, hey, uh if I have uh suicidal ideation or addiction or you know, all these things, am I still going to heaven or uh would God still let me in heaven? Um that, you know, that's not, I would say, necessarily a doctrinal question. I think it's more a fear question. And it's a question that is grounded in um being taught, whether explicitly or maybe even implicitly, that God's acceptance of you is conditional or performative. Okay, that idea that God can only love you if you're only thinking happy thoughts is not true. When Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane, the Bible says that he was in such deep anguish. Anguish is actually a form of depression. He was in such deep anguish that he was sweating like drops of blood. So he was in such an emotional state of dysregulation that uh his dysregulation emotionally was showing up in his physiology, it was showing up in how his body was actually processing um the toxins in his body. So one of the reasons why we sweat is so that our body can release toxins in our body. He was under such pressure and strain and stress and discouragement and depression that his body was essentially bleeding it out. So I think it's important for me to say that just so you understand, uh, Jesselyn, as well as anyone listening or watching, like, we don't serve a God who is who is somehow far removed from our pain, a God who kind of sees what we're going through but doesn't really understand it and expects perfection from us. We serve a God who knows what it's like to face a situation that is so traumatizing that that it's basically like, hey, if I can do something else, I would really like to do that. And in some cases, that something else for human beings has been the decision to end it all. Now that that's said though, um, I do want to speak to the fact that the fact that you are here means that God has purpose on your life. It means that God has He has a plan for your life. I'm gonna get into that a little more later. Um, but the fact that you are here, the fact that God decided that you are necessary for creation, I think it's really important for you to understand. So the fact that you're wrestling with these questions, no, that's that's not actually a doctrinal thing. Um, that really is more about being taught that God requires perfection, that God requires performance, he requires pretense, and that's completely not true. Um your salvation is not lost because you struggle with these things. Um, it's really just about bringing the the struggle to the Lord. Um, you know, the apostle Paul, he asked God, we don't know what the thorn was that he was struggling with, but he asked God three times to to remove it. And God said, No, my grace is sufficient for you. So there are some there are some weights that we carry that actually inform the purpose that God has uh for our lives. And so when we carry that level of a weight, he also meets that weight with his grace because he is so good. Uh, I want to also deal with a a lie that the enemy works so hard to seed into our minds, um, especially when you know we're experiencing repeated loss or disappointment or discouragement. We're feeling like we've been abandoned. And that is the idea that God has given up on you. The idea that um, you know, you're too far gone, that uh, you know, the fact that you even entertained, you know, um, you know, drinking or doing something ending your life, the fact that you did that somehow makes you too far gone. No, God is in it with you. His will for you is that you would have life and have it more abundantly. His will for you is that you would experience the abundance of his love on this side of heaven, like in this life. And even though it may sometimes seem like, man, nobody would care if I was gone, oh, that's the biggest lie that the enemy could possibly plant in your mind. Because there are people in this world, some of which you don't even know who they are, but there are people in this world who they are depending on you. They're depending on your freedom, they're depending on your voice, they're depending on your testimony to know that God is real. And you may never meet these people until you get to heaven naturally. Um, but at some point you will know that your voice matters and that your purpose here on this earth uh mattered. So um, I want to talk about the identity distortion around these issues because I do think, again, they're multi-layered issues, they're complex issues, but uh the identity distortion is where the lies of the enemy collide with the truth of God's word. And it typically will start like this Okay, I'm struggling, and because I'm struggling, I keep failing. Um, and I keep failing, and I can't seem to stop whatever it is that I'm doing. So God must be tired of me, and because God is tired of me, I must not really be saved, which means I'm going to hell, which means none of this matters anyway. The enemy wants you to be hopeless, he wants you to believe that there's no point to anything. He wants you to believe that because Satan's number one goal is to essentially fill hell with as many people as possible. And if he can do that without having to do anything, if he can do that by simply seeding lies in your mind and causing you to believe that nothing matters, that nothing's good, if he can do that without even having to exert energy beyond seeding those thoughts, he will have one. This is why the truth of God's word matters so, so, so much. Um, and I want to go directly to what scripture has to say about this. So, first of all, on salvation, Romans chapter 8, verses 38 through 39, the apostle Paul says this. He says, For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus, our Lord. He didn't say that nothing will separate you from the love of God except addiction. He didn't say nothing would separate you from the love of God except perfection. He didn't say nothing will separate you from the love of God except for being joy-filled all the time. He said, nothing in all of creation will separate you from the love of God. So whether it's addiction, whether it's depression, whether it's suicidal thoughts, that is not outside of that nothing. That means nothing. Okay? Nothing. Nothing you've done, nothing you will do separate you from the love of God. Now I do want to address this because I think I would be um I would be theologically irresponsible if I didn't. Part of the issue um with suicide, or the the the major issue with suicide, is it essentially puts you in the place of God and it postures you as God of your life, and so we have to be very, very careful with that, because when you say I am essentially God of my life. I decide if I live or die. Then you essentially oppose the sovereignty of God. God is the one who decides when you live or die. God is the one because God is the one who knew you before you were formed in the womb. God is the one who decided that you were needed for this such a time as this. God is the one who gave you purpose. He gave you gifts. And so if God is sovereign, if he is omnipotent and omniscient and omnipresent, if he is Lord, He is not just Lord of your salvation, He is Lord of your life. And so this is where the ideation side of it, no, that does not separate you from the love of God. Not at all. You know, when I was a child, I experienced a very dysfunctional situation growing up. So much so that I actively tried to end my life at the ages of nine and eleven. I didn't even know what was on the other side of death. I just knew that whatever it was, it had to be better than what I was experiencing in life. I was experiencing physical abuse, sexual abuse, verbal abuse, psychological abuse. And so I just figured it would be better than what I was experiencing. And this is why I have a lot of empathy for people who have those thoughts because I've been there. I know what that's like. And so I actually attempted unsuccessfully, obviously, thank you, Jesus. But I attempted. And uh when I look back on that, now from a place of knowledge and awareness, I realize why that is in and of itself the act is sin, because you essentially say, I am God, I decide when things end. Well, if you decide when things end and you put yourself in the place of God, when you stand before the judgment seat of Christ, now you have to take account of deciding when your life ends. And so that is where it gets to be really, really challenging. And um, you know, I am not ever going to condemn someone for anything to hell. I'm never going to do that because that's not my place. I will say that there is an added weight to that because of the finality of it. And so um the answer for me would be don't, don't do it, okay? So uh nothing can separate you from the love of God. Height, depth, uh, angels, demons, present, future, nothing. Uh, then we get over to John chapter 10, verses 28 through 29. Jesus says, I give them eternal life and they shall never perish. No one will snatch them out of my hand. My father who has given them to me is greater than all. No one can snatch them out of my father's hand. What that means essentially is when you have been given the gift of eternal life by placing your faith in Jesus and making him Lord of your life, what that means is no matter what the plans of the enemy may be, no matter how um sophisticated and strategic the kingdom of darkness may be, they cannot forcefully take you away from God. So even if you are feeling depressed, even if you're feeling anxious, uh even if you're having suicidal thoughts and you are thinking, well, maybe it would be better if I were to end it, um, you have authority over those thoughts through the blood of Jesus. And so, therefore, when those thoughts come, you have the authority to plead the blood of Jesus over them, recognizing that they are not yours, that they are an attempt of the enemy to cause you to make a decision that in no way agrees with the purposes of God. God did not create you so that you would end your life. Hear me. I'm gonna say that again. Thank you, Holy Spirit. God did not create you so that you would end your life. Okay. So you can plead the blood of Jesus over those thoughts. You can plead the blood of Jesus over those lies because there is no power on earth, in heaven or hell, that can snatch you out of the hand of the Father once you are in it. Yes, you can do that to yourself, but then you have another problem on your hands, right? Um, but there is nothing that can snatch you out of the hand of the Father. Grace is discussed in Romans chapter 5, verse 8, which says, But God demonstrates his own love for us in this. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Oh my goodness. If if if there's never been another verse that is more encouraging, it is that Christ died for you and for me and for everyone. While we were sinners, he didn't die for us when we were perfect. None of us have ever been perfect, and people who think they're perfect are actually delusional. There's no such thing as perfection. We all have a past. And if you don't have a past, you have a present. And if you don't have a present, you're gonna have a future. At some point, we all make mistakes because that's the nature of being human. That is also why uh God calls us to live a life of consecration, a life of holiness. Um, but even on that path, the grace of God is still sufficient for us. You may not be perfect and holy and all of that, but the fact that you are pursuing the heart of God, the face of God, that means that you have committed your life to honoring God. That is amazing because even before you made that commitment, Jesus had already died for you. Jesus decided when you were his enemy, Jesus decided when you wanted nothing to do with him, or you wanted nothing to do with God, uh, when you were out here just making your own decisions, living your best life, he decided that then at that specific moment, yep, yep, he's worth dying for, yep, she's worth dying for. And so we have to remember that because if we forget that, then we'll get into this uh distortion of believing that something we've done or something we've said could somehow invalidate uh the love that God has for us. That's simply not true. He loved us while we were still sinners, he died for us even then. Um, as well as Luke 4.18. I want to read this. This is so powerful. Jesus describes his own mission by saying, He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind to set the oppressed free. Jesus did not come for the strong, he did not come for the healthy, he did not come for the perfect, he came for the captive. Addiction is captivity, depression is captivity, pain is captivity. Jesus came for the people who needed freedom, needed peace. And I need to also say, listen, I I've come to realize this over the years now. Suicidal thoughts are actually not proof that you want to die. That's simply proof that you want pain to stop. That's all that is. People don't have suicidal thoughts because everything is going great and life is good and everything's great. It's like, no, because there's a pain there. Even people who are wildly successful. I mean, you look at somebody like an Anthony Bourdain, I think the world was absolutely shocked when you took his life. Um, you look at uh what was her name? I think it was like, was it Chesley Christ? I'm trying to remember her exact name, but she um won, I think, either Miss America or Miss USA or something like that. Beautiful, took her life. Robin Williams, this, you know, Oscar-winning actor, like, you know what I mean? Like it wasn't because they wanted to die necessarily. It was because there was a pain on the inside of them uh that they wanted to stop. And that's such a profound difference, which is why I'm really, really, really, really, really encouraging you, whether it's you, Jesseline, or somebody who's listening or watching to this and this resonates, um, get before the Lord and identify what is the pain. Is it a pain of loneliness? Um, is it a pain of feeling insignificant? Uh, is it a pain of um, I don't know, somehow lack or loss or grief? What is the pain? Identify what the pain is so that you can invite God into that pain. Um, if you're having thoughts of ending your life, and I said it at the beginning, but I want to say it again, um, please, please, please reach out to someone immediately. You can call or you can text 988 to access the suicide prevention line. Um, but I would definitely recommend please tell someone that you trust, seek out support professionally. There is no shame in needing help. There is no shame in needing help. Uh, needing help is not a failure of faith, that is wisdom. We cannot do this on our own. Uh, we are not made to carry the weight of depression. We are not made to carry the weight of chronic pain and anxiety. We're just not made to carry that weight. This is why Jesus invites us to come to him, all you are who are weary and heavy laden, I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, for my burden is easy. My yoke is light, my yoke is easy, my burden is light. Um, and he says, I will give you rest in exchange because we're not built to carry that. Um, I also want to mention as we get ready to close that there is a difference between salvation and sanctification. So, salvation is the moment in time decision that you make to make Jesus Lord of your life, to decide that uh you're going to live, you're going to walk, you're going to think, you're going to feel and act in a way that honors him as Lord of your life. It is the moment of entry into the kingdom of heaven. It's the moment of entry. Um, and you receive what Christ did, you receive forgiveness, you receive uh eternal life as a gift you could not possibly uh deserve, you could not possibly work for, and you just receive it freely. In exchange, you give your life to God. That's that's the thing. Many people view salvation as this like one-way um transaction where we receive from God, but it's actually a mutual, it's a covenant. We exchange our life for the gift of eternal life, right? And so what that means is when we are feeling like, I don't know if I want to go on anymore, we have to surrender even that thought to the lordship of Jesus Christ and say, regardless of how I'm feeling right now, you have not decided that life is over for me. And so I'm not going to just end it because you are Lord of my life. Um, Jesseline, I want to speak to you specifically because I believe that theology alone is not going to be able to heal all that you are carrying. And so I want to be very transparent about that. I think the combination of chronic pain and depression, anxiety and addiction, um, suicidal ideation, all of that requires so much more than this episode can provide. So I want to offer you just four resources that I think you definitely should look into. One is a licensed mental health professional, um, ideally, someone who can integrate faith with clinical care. I think as a person of faith, it's important that you can have someone on your team who understands your orientation, who understands that your hope is coming from the Lord. That's really, really important, I think, for you. Not everybody agrees with that. There are some therapists who are like, oh, whether you have a Christian therapist or not, it doesn't matter. I think you at least need to have someone who um who shares your faith orientation. Secondly, I would say um a medical provider, someone who can help you think through your pain management plan. Um, and also think through whether that uh pain is contributing to the addiction and what it could look like uh to have a strategy with safer alternatives as part of the plan. Third, uh, I definitely encourage you to find a recovery community. Whether that is uh there's a great organization called Celebrate Recovery, and uh they have groups all over the United States of America with people who are dealing with all types of challenges and issues. A lot of churches host celebrate recovery groups, but you can certainly go to their website and check it out. Um, but a recovery community, I think, is going to be really important, a place where you can um connect with other people who are on the journey to freedom and get accountability and support for um for your own your own decisions and sobriety. And then last, a safe spiritual community. If you're not connected with a church, a local church, please get connected. You'd be surprised the difference it makes to be in a community of people who maybe don't understand all that you're carrying, but they love Jesus and they love you. And so I would highly encourage you to do that. So the reframe I want to offer you as we get ready to close is instead of asking, Am I going to heaven? ask, do I believe that Jesus is who he said he is? And that what he did was enough for me. Because if I believe that Jesus is who he said he is, that he is uh the son of God, if I believe that he has all power, then what that means is my life is no longer my own. It is his. It is his. Instead of saying, I keep failing, so God must be done with me, I want you to say, I keep reaching. And that reaching is evidence that God has not let me go. God has placed a desire on the inside of you to honor him. That's why you asked this question. And I'm so grateful that you asked this question for yourself and for so many other people who are walking through a similar kind of just concoction of issues and challenges where they need to know that God sees them and loves them and is with them. Um, lastly, instead of saying that my struggle disqualifies me, I want you to ask, what kind of help do I need to get? And will I let myself receive it? As I said earlier, a licensed mental health uh therapist, someone who can help with pain management, a pain management doctor, uh, getting into a recovery community, getting into a faith community, those are all resources that I believe uh will be really important for your healing journey. So uh four questions I want everyone to focus on this week and reflect on. The first is this Have I been confusing the difficulty of my sanctification with the security of my salvation? Sanctification is a process, it's a lifelong process where we're working to become more like God, we're working to become more like Jesus, to become holy. Um, that is a process of sanctification. That's a process of refining and uh and surrendering. That's a process of God identifying areas of our life that are not aligned with him and his character and uh us doing the work to bring that area back into alignment with his character. So that's sanctification. Number two, where did I learn that God's acceptance is conditional on my performance? And is that actually what scripture teaches? I've done my best to try to share that that is not what scripture teaches. As a matter of fact, when you were God's um enemy, when you were still a sinner, he died for you. And so your performance is not um what leads to God's acceptance. Number three, what professional or community support do I need to reach for and what has been stopping me? And then number four, what would it look like to receive grace rather than just believe in it? So, Jesselyn, um, I want to tell you, and certainly anyone who's listening and watching, and and this is resonating with you, uh, you are definitely not too far gone, my sister. You are not too far gone. Uh, God loves you, and I am so grateful that you were brave enough to ask this question. I thank you for your vulnerability because I believe that there are many people who have been carrying these types of questions silently and secretly, and that is not God's intent for us at all. So, as I close, I want to go ahead and pray for anyone that this um episode resonated with. So if you would just join me, Father, I'm grateful. I'm grateful for Jesseline, I'm grateful for every woman, every man listening to this, watching this, God. Um and for those who felt their heart leap through this question, God, because it truly resonates with where they are. Father, I speak grace over them now, God. I ask you, Lord, to heal their mind, heal their heart, whatever has happened that has caused them to question life, to question your goodness. Lord, I pray that you will give them a fresh infusion of peace, give them a fresh infusion of love. Father, help them to feel your love, feel your grace, feel your mercy. I pray that you'll give them eyes to see the right communities that they need to be a part of so that they can experience being loved by other people who walk alongside of them through these challenges. I also pray uh for Jesseline and others who are walking through life in pain. Oh God, it is not your will that we would walk through life struggling, Father, to make it from day to day. God, I just speak healing over them now at the cellular level. God, I ask you to do what doctors can't do. I ask you to do what medicine can't do. I ask you to do uh what people think is impossible because you are the one who created our bodies, you created every organ, every cell, every tissue, every organ system, God. You created everything. And so I ask you to bring it all into right alignment with health and well-being, with uh perfect health and perfect well-being according to you and your mighty power. Your word declares that it is by the stripes, hallelujah, by the stripes that were laid upon Jesus that we are healed. And so, God, we walk in the healing of the stripes of Jesus even now. I thank you, Lord, for the testimonies of healing that are gonna come in. I feel it in my spirit, God. I come against every spirit of infirmity that has caused hopelessness and discouragement in every person watching and listening to this. I come against every spirit of infirmity now with the blood of Jesus. I call you out, I cast you out in the name of Jesus, and you have to go. God, we thank you for your power and your love in Jesus' name. Amen. Thank you so much for joining me for this week's episode. As I said, uh, this is not an easy question, it's not an easy conversation. Um, but I do need you to know if this is something you've been wrestling with, I need you to know not only does God love you, but he has purpose for you. He has purpose for you, and that is that you would live and that you would have life more abundantly. I love you so much. Thank you for joining me, and I will see you next week.