Episode 12: Our biggest fan is wild!

We share tales of local traffic woes and tip our hats (courtesy of Z Money) to our absent friend Carlos, it's clear that this episode is a melting pot. We touch on everything from the misunderstood art of hanging at McDonald's to the bravery behind confronting a home invader. Our conversations dance on the fine line between hilarity and heartfelt, as we explore the depths of friendship and the lengths we'd go for each other—bullets and all. It's an episode that meanders through the ridiculous and the relatable, leaving you with a sense of being part of our extended, if slightly dysfunctional, family. So pull up a chair, lend us your ears, and get ready to laugh, facepalm, and maybe even shed a tear with your favorite group of jesters.

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Transcript

Ryan 0:01

Alright, we're back on Jesus Christ. This is going to be yeah, it's going to be a. Hopefully his fucking camera works. We've been having some trouble with this camera.

Ryan 0:12

I'm staring at it right now it's a little bit of technical difficulties.

Ryan 0:16

Yeah, I mean, it's still. I mean, look at this man, look at this man, hey man we literally as a bitch bro. We're still figuring the fucking kinks out, so Don't say these pussies.

Ryan 0:35

Who said these pussies Sometimes.

Ryan 0:36

I'm just calling the fucking listeners Pussies.

Javi 0:38

What? Why Kyle?

Ryan 0:40

If they complain About the camera.

javi 0:42

No.

Javi 0:42

So don't complain About the camera.

javi 0:43

No one's complaining, kyle, so don't complain about the camera no one's complaining Because I don't think we'll have.

Ryan 0:47

I don't think we have video for like the first five to ten minutes, but Kyle had to deep freeze the camera.

Javi 0:52

bro, it was broken. Eric did have to put the the battery was fucked up.

Ryan 0:56

Eric did have to put it in the freezer, but we're here, dude, we're here, dude.

Javi 1:01

Now we're back.

Ryan 1:02

We're back with Javier we're live dude, the biggest fan.

Ryan 1:05

Javi XO.

Ryan 1:07

Yeah, our number one fan, javier Javi. What's your sex life?

Javi 1:13

My sex life yeah how's that going?

Ryan 1:14

for you Pretty mid dry Tsunami.

Javi 1:19

It's alright. It's alright. I don't wanna say too much, man. I actually been talking to this girl. Man, she's real good, she's a nice girl.

Ryan 1:26

Fat.

Javi 1:27

Nah.

Ryan 1:29

White.

Javi 1:30

Nah, she's brown.

Ryan 1:31

Oh, she's brown like you. Damn, you don't like white girls.

Javi 1:33

No, no, I love all girls, but I'm just saying, like you know, like the latest one, it's like she's brown. You know Talking.

Ryan 1:41

Is she a junior in high school?

Javi 1:43

No.

Ryan 1:44

Yo Yo, what the fuck.

Ryan 1:47

That was a fucking.

Ryan 1:48

I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding.

Ryan 1:49

He's been fucking being a motherfucker since he got here. I'm just getting him stirred up.

Javi 1:52

So if we're going to keep it real man they've been hating on me man.

Ryan 1:56

Oh, you're crazy, oh my God. You're crazy dude, oh my God.

Javi 2:00

They're not gonna let me talk.

Ryan 2:02

Oh, that's a Kyle thing.

Javi 2:03

Let me talk, let me talk, alright, so first things first.

Ryan 2:07

Talk, bro. You've been talking the whole fucking time.

Javi 2:09

Shout out to whoever made these hats Real good hats. I try to wear it. It's real nice. It's real nice. I just You're gonna fucking Piss me off.

Ryan 2:17

It's real nice dude Shout out my boy Fucking.

Javi 2:20

Shout out to Kyle's boy Z Money.

Ryan 2:22

Z Money my young bull, my young bull, z Money, sent us these hats. We've already Fucking talked about it. Motherfucker, I'm shouting out, I'm shouting out. My young bull.

Javi 2:35

Z Money.

Ryan 2:36

Z Money with the hats.

Javi 2:38

Oh, it's a shit show. It's a shit show, hey man. What kind of fans Did you tell? Can you send me your address?

javi 2:46

Yeah, I can send you the address.

Javi 2:48

I don't think I have the new address that you're at. I still have 120. You're not at 120 anymore, are you? No, the guys can hear you. We're right next door, though I have no idea what you're talking about. Yeah, I'll send you that, okay, thanks.

Ryan 3:03

Oh my goodness, eric, the fucking Riz God.

Ryan 3:07

We have a female coming, javi, nice, nice, nice. What are you going to do? I?

Javi 3:11

don't know. I just hope they get here safe man.

Ryan 3:13

Pray to God. I just hope they get here safe, drive safe.

Javi 3:16

I was on I-4. Why are y'all driving so crazy man?

Ryan 3:24

Somebody almost hit my car. Welcome to Orlando, motherfucker. You were driving like maniacs.

Ryan 3:28

I fucking drive 35 minutes on I-4 every single day? No, that's one way I'm driving over an hour on I-4 every day.

Ryan 3:36

I did it for a while too, buddy.

Ryan 3:38

You know what you have to do. You have to drive. Just stay behind a big truck going pretty slow.

Javi 3:44

Whoever cares about me. I was going to speed limit To my buddies.

Ryan 3:53

Yo there's fucking neighbors downstairs. Don't slam on the floor like that man. You're right you're right.

Javi 3:57

You're right, Jesus Christ. He just gave a shout out to our location. We are an apartment studio.

Ryan 4:04

Studio apartment. You can tell from YouTube we are in an apartment studio.

Ryan 4:06

Studio apartment. You can tell from YouTube that we are in an apartment.

Javi 4:09

Can't you.

Ryan 4:09

That fucking green turf fell on Carlos.

Javi 4:12

Look, man, I don't know, man, I couldn't tell.

Ryan 4:15

I feel like you were in a mansion.

Javi 4:16

I mean, you got sponsors.

Ryan 4:18

Shit, we do. Got Z Money. Zerman Z-R-. Oh shit, Z-I-R-M-A-N. This is your boy, bro Dot com, Look that shit up. Buy a goddamn hat, motherfucker.

Javi 4:29

It's nice.

Ryan 4:30

They're fire Newest Lowe's on YouTube. Obviously We'll fucking talk about it later, eric. So, where is Carlos? Carlos has got family shit.

Ryan 4:40

He's back home dude, it's not bad.

Ryan 4:41

It's not bad family shit. He's there. What? He's back home, dude, it's not bad. It's not bad family shit. He's there. What do you think about, carlos? You've been listening watching.

Javi 4:48

What do you think about?

Ryan 4:50

Carlos, tell it how you really feel.

Javi 4:52

I don't know if the camera can pick this up, but there's a Goomba sitting in front of me, man, they're saying that's Carlos.

Ryan 4:58

That is.

Javi 4:58

Now, carlos is cool. You know I love the podcast. I feel like these guys kind of bully him man.

Ryan 5:04

Oh, and it's not because he's brown, javi. Javi, don't even get me fucking started, buddy.

Ryan 5:11

This motherfucker's like trying to start a race war between us he is. Half of this podcast is brown and we're the other half.

Javi 5:19

You're not brown. No I thought your favorite artist was Peso Pluma.

Ryan 5:23

Peso Pluma can suck my balls. What I do like Peso Pluma, I do like Bad Bunny can suck my dick for real. Oh, it's because he was talking to his auntie about. Yeah, we talked about the auntie and the pretty fucking girls.

Ryan 5:36

Javi loves talking about the aunties and pretty girls.

Ryan 5:38

This isn't your first time meeting, javier.

Ryan 5:40

It is. Oh, it is, it is yeah.

Javi 5:43

It's not my first time meeting you, though yes it is I met you, dude, when? So we weren't at that. Mitt Romney, the what the?

Ryan 5:52

Mitt.

Javi 5:52

Romney, what a.

Ryan 5:54

Crazy Fucking Mitt Romney, what?

Ryan 5:57

a crazy. He sounds like a fucking senator, you don't know yeah.

Javi 6:00

We were there back in the day. We were like, yes, let's go.

Ryan 6:03

Mitt Romney ran for president against Obama. No, that was McCain. No.

Javi 6:11

Kyle was crying dude. I can't believe we're this close. He was crying man.

Ryan 6:17

Mitt Romney is a crazy fucking call. That's a gnarly one. What did he do? He ran for president at some point. To all the older folks yeah, he's a gnarly one. What did he do?

Javi 6:25

He ran for president at some point To all the older folks.

Ryan 6:26

Yeah, he's a senator from Utah, I mean.

Javi 6:29

Ryan was Early. You were, you know, just hanging out earlier. Ryan was saying Kony 2012. I don't know if you guys remember that, but Saying what. Kony 2012.

Ryan 6:38

Who the fuck is Kony? I never understood what was Kony 2012? That's your boy yeah, explain it. I never understood those signs.

Javi 6:46

Dude. He worshipped him like he was a god.

Ryan 6:51

Kony is not like a real person. It was like a thing.

Ryan 6:53

I just met you for the first time, an hour and a half ago.

Javi 6:55

What the fuck are you talking about? I've been knowing this guy for like a decade. We met in middle school man, Javier.

Ryan 7:02

none of us have ever met you, other than your fucking brother, Eric. Tell the people who you are, man.

They found me

Javi 7:07

Let all the fans know who you are. They just found me in the side of a Walmart man. They said hey, we got this podcast going on, want to join it?

Ryan 7:16

Not Walmart, bro. You know, it was a fucking Home Depot.

Ryan 7:19

You know what the thing is that you two do have in common. You both have big fucking schnozzes Me and you.

Ryan 7:25

You and Javi, I was going to say that earlier.

Ryan 7:28

Javi's got a big fucking schnoz Fucking Mount Rushmore noses.

Ryan 7:32

It's literally like a perfect flat top for glasses, like it sits perfectly on the glasses.

Javi 7:38

You can't see that in the camera.

Ryan 7:40

Well, show the camera. Your side profile no.

Javi 7:41

I'm saying about you.

Ryan 7:43

No, the guy with the nose.

Javi 7:44

Because you do. Ryan is skinnier than he looks like on camera.

Ryan 7:48

You're skinnier.

Javi 7:49

Mr Kyle. They met. I was listening Look, I'm the biggest fan of this podcast and they made him sound like a behemoth when I met him. The guy is skinny man.

Ryan 8:03

He does not look like he does on camera. Keep hyping him up, dude.

Javi 8:08

Hyping him up. He looks skinnier in person, Bro it sounds like we hired this fucking dude.

Ryan 8:16

It does.

Ryan 8:18

I'm not paying you, I don't have any money.

Javi 8:19

I'm not paying you. They said 15 an hour. I'm here, man Shit.

Ryan 8:22

I'm paying you a beer. I got some Bush Lights for you, z.

Javi 8:24

Money. Man, Z Money. Shout out to the hats. Man, I'm a sponsor of this show. Man, it's nice in here. Man, I wish I could see. Man, it's real nice in here. Man, what do you want to talk about, Javier? What's been going on? I want to ask you some questions, man. Ask away, Ask away dude, because I know you know it's been a topic in previous podcasts. You know Ryan, you say he's low-tier white and you're top-tier white.

Ryan 8:56

Correct.

Javi 8:58

And you just got those eyes, man, you got those eyes like I'm white-white, you know, and Ryan gots to you know, I'm country-white.

Ryan 9:04

I'm not country at all.

Javi 9:06

I just want to hear your perspective on like life.

Ryan 9:09

Your son, cuz I got like light eyes, like blue, green type eyes. What about my eyelashes? What do you think about them? I Get compliments on all the time shut the no, don't, you don't?

Ryan 9:20

shut the fuck up. No, no, he does not.

Ryan 9:26

They always say you have beautiful eyes, you have great eyelashes.

Javi 9:29

Follow Kyle on Instagram. Man, he's going to show you those eyebrows.

Ryan 9:33

Yeah, all right, Don't bring up my fucking. I got the fucking bushy eyebrows bro I didn't say eyebrows, motherfucker.

Javi 9:40

Eyelashes.

Ryan 9:42

Yeah, that's what I said. Same thing. Everybody says I look like a caveman from the side. What do?

Javi 9:46

they compliment you on Ryan.

Ryan 9:48

Nothing at all. They don't Nothing at all.

Javi 9:51

Somebody in the comments, somebody somewhere, dm him or something. Give him a little confidence boost, man, please man. That's my buddy, ryan man, give him some confidence.

Ryan 10:00

He just met today. You met probably an hour ago, dude. I met him in middle school, man, if anybody went to the middle school.

Javi 10:07

I went to. Y'all know we know him man. No, nobody went to, he's the one who put hand sanitizer in the teacher's drink man.

Ryan 10:13

Y'all know that. I think he'd get charged. That would be a fucking.

Ryan 10:18

That would be assault.

Ryan 10:25

I, I know somebody who did that. Get the fuck out of here. I mean, it was a female, it wasn't Ryan, but hey, wait, a student was the female.

Javi 10:28

Yeah, nice, I don't think she watches, but I mean, if you do, she put it in there.

Ryan 10:32

We're not putting her name out there. She put hand sanitizer in the teacher's drink.

Javi 10:37

It's called ISS now. It used to be called suspension. Iss is in-school suspension, yeah, in-school suspension, yeah.

Ryan 10:42

I've been there many times buddy.

Javi 10:44

Been there a lot of times. Yeah you, they tell me you're a troublemaker man. How?

Ryan 10:52

many times have you been to jail? I've never been to adult jail. I've been to Juvenile. I've been to juvie once for like two days Two days, two days.

Ryan 11:01

I don't like how this guy's commandeering our podcast. He's like take it back dude, take it back. He's got his arm around me. He's got glasses on Listen man, he's been boring.

Ryan 11:11

He's fucking Kyle up right now. I'm loving it. I'm loving this shit.

Javi 11:14

The only thing I'm doing is visiting my older brother, so I'm chilling man.

Ryan 11:19

For everybody that doesn't know, this is this is Eric's younger brother.

Javi 11:21

I think we've covered that, and just to let anybody that's listening or watching this Eric has the best headphones In the studio.

Ryan 11:30

I thought you were going to say Something different.

Ryan 11:32

He gave me the worst headphones, javi.

Ryan 11:35

I'm wearing your headphones.

Ryan 11:36

I'm wearing your headphones. What?

Ryan 11:38

I got the ones you gave Eric. You know what's funny. Don't talk shit. Though Carlos bought those.

Ryan 11:42

He did buy those yeah, carlos is very proud. Don't talk shit, though. Carlos bought those. He did buy those.

javi 11:44

Yeah, carlos is very proud.

Ryan 11:46

He said they're awesome, dude Carlos is very proud of those headphones With these headphones.

Javi 11:49

I can tell you got a family man. You're on a budget, bro. I love you though. I love you though, but I'm saying man dude these headphones.

Ryan 11:59

This is a fucking disaster. Fucking nuts dude. You gotta bring it back man. No, no, no, no, no.

Ryan 12:03

You say I'm fucking sporadic, I'm fucking loving this shit man.

Ryan 12:08

I don't know how to reel this fucker in. Ryan, give it a shot.

Javi 12:11

No like in all seriousness, you guys, I'm just chilling man, I'm just glad.

Ryan 12:18

We just vibing, dude, we just vibing.

Javi 12:20

I drove like two and a half hours to get here, man. Somebody almost hit my car. I'm just so glad to be here, man, Just chilling man.

Ryan 12:28

Well, no, we're glad you're here First. I mean it's an honor, first guest ever on a podcast. So I mean, say something nice about all of us.

Javi 12:38

I mean. I love you guys, man, I'll tune in every chance I get, as soon as the audio audio. The video drops, I'm in there, man. I'm subscribed to their YouTube, instagram, spotify. I downloaded Spotify for the first time ever Because of these guys, man. They're the best dude, they're the best.

Ryan 12:57

We are the best.

Ryan 12:59

We need this dude here every week man Every fucking week dude, it's hype man. We gotta get him like holding a sign out front, like they do for the fucking cash for gold, spinning the sign.

Javi 13:10

Do you guys know that you have a Facebook fan page? I know you guys aren't on Facebook.

Ryan 13:16

I'm on Facebook. No, we don't.

Javi 13:18

No, I'm saying the podcast. You guys have a, somebody look it up.

Ryan 13:26

They have a Newest lowest fan page. I saw it the other day. That is slander, somebody Slander.

Javi 13:28

I can show you on my phone. I can.

Ryan 13:30

Somebody look it up on Facebook, man. The only one that's gonna look it up is Eric.

Ryan 13:33

Eric's gotta look it up.

Ryan 13:34

Eric, do you believe him? I believe him, cause he probably made the fucking thing. No.

Javi 13:39

I saw it on. I saw it the other day On Facebook. I was scrolling down and it said sponsored. I'm like, oh, hold on.

javi 13:44

I know those guys Sponsored. He made the fucking thing. I'm like that's Mr.

Javi 13:47

Kyle, I was all like and that's right.

Ryan 13:50

Mr.

Javi 13:50

Kyle, it's just the best thing ever that you guys are supporting this podcast. Man, it's the best thing ever, man.

Ryan 13:57

So we don't have Goomba today. He, he's gone.

Ryan 14:00

We have the opposite version of Goomba.

Ryan 14:03

We have a taller skinnier Bowl cut version of Goomba. Stop Shout out the hats already.

Javi 14:12

So Ryan is saying I have a bowl cut.

Ryan 14:15

He does, he does. I haven't gotten my hair cut in like two, three months. And when I showed him my last haircut, no, no, nope, you know who you are. You said six months. The female you said six months.

Javi 14:30

She called me daddy and everything but look.

Ryan 14:33

Did she call you daddy or did she call you poppy?

50 cut

Javi 14:35

But the thing is he's a guy he's not supposed to be like. Oh, you look good, he's like dang bro. Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool. He showed me a picture. He paid $50 to get like a. You know, when you join the Marines, I've never, you know, in the movies that's called a crew cut. In the movies Crew cut they just shave them bald. He paid $50 for a Marine haircut and shout out to the Marines Much love and I appreciate you.

Ryan 15:01

Hey, we obviously support the armed troops man. Hey shout out to America man. And for anybody wondering, do not shout out America.

Javi 15:10

I'm shouting out America, we're in America, man.

Ryan 15:12

We are. We are in America.

Javi 15:14

And why not shout out America?

Ryan 15:16

Because I don't believe you're from here.

Javi 15:18

What he's from Colorado.

Ryan 15:22

You came here.

Javi 15:23

This podcast is recorded in Florida.

Ryan 15:26

We're all Florida boys besides Kyle.

Javi 15:28

I was born down the street and Kyle was born in like Colorado.

Ryan 15:34

Yeah, you'd love it out there. Shout out to Colorado, man, we can shout out Colorado.

Javi 15:38

The streets with the curbs.

Ryan 15:40

We have curbs in Colorado.

Javi 15:42

Ryan said he had curbs too, but they were dirt curbs yeah, I've seen his childhood home.

Ryan 15:44

We have curbs in Colorado. Ryan said he had curbs too, but they were dirt curbs, dirt curbs. They were not dirt curbs yeah, I've seen.

Javi 15:47

I've seen his His childhood home.

Ryan 15:49

You know how many potholes I ran into in Colorado Dude.

Javi 15:52

Zero. I busted my transmission On his street. Dude, do you believe this? This?

Ryan 15:56

dude Is just like a pathological Fuck Compulsive lie. No, no, you guys, he's just lying I'm the biggest fan.

Javi 16:05

We get it man so they were like hey, you know what buddy first mr kyle I thought he would run out of steam at some point. He was like he was like hey, buddy, I appreciate the love, I appreciate the support he gave me his autograph but I don't have your number, man, but I'm saying he took me to colorado.

Ryan 16:23

It's beautiful out there, shout out to colorado. Everybody knows it's beautiful man this, this dude, ryan.

Javi 16:29

I've known him since middle school man. He took me to the ghettoest place I've ever seen on earth somebody shot up my car.

Ryan 16:38

Oh, my good somebody shot up my car right down the street from where ryan's from dude.

Javi 16:42

I don't know what street we were. All I know is that I was ducking and swerving man. I had to get a new car. Dude Ryan took me to the grimiest place on earth. I don't know where it was in Atlanta, but shout out to Atlanta. That was fun.

Ryan 16:57

That was super fun dude. This dude's tickling my fancy right now.

Ryan 17:03

I'm baffled I this dude's tickling my fancy right now.

Ryan 17:06

I'm baffled, I'm at a loss for words. I had no idea this is how it would turn out, bringing our very first guest in, when Eric said yo, my brother's coming up. Hey, you know what it is, though. We're about 20 minutes in.

Ryan 17:18

We were sitting there chilling, drinking beers yesterday at the bar.

Ryan 17:21

I could have, never I could have never fathomed this would be the outcome Of us inviting Eric's brother in.

Javi 17:26

Dude, we were having a blast last night, dude.

Ryan 17:29

Last night? What the fuck do you mean? Last night, we had to work today.

Javi 17:31

We went to the bar last night.

Ryan 17:34

This dude's fucking manic.

Javi 17:36

What do you mean, dude, dude. Kyle asked the bartender for her number.

Ryan 17:44

Did she give it to me?

Javi 17:45

And she did.

Ryan 17:46

Hell yeah, hell yeah.

Javi 17:47

She's real pretty, real pretty, and I was so proud Dude.

Ryan 17:50

This is, this is number one hype man. That's your hype man, right there, dude, I love it.

Javi 17:54

What color was her hair? I think it was like it was blonde, but it kind of looked like fake blonde. What color were her eyes? Her eyes. I'm colorblind, bro.

Ryan 18:04

Oh, that's right God damn it, they are all fucking colorblind. Why?

Ryan 18:07

is your whole family fucking colorblind.

Javi 18:09

What does he mean by they are all?

Ryan 18:11

Yo, you're going to learn. That's Kyle's. He doesn't.

Javi 18:13

Yep, yep, yep.

Ryan 18:14

The fuck are all you guys colorblind they?

Javi 18:16

them Shout out to Kyle he's a year older than me. Man, when's your birthday? It's in July. It's in July, january, february, march, seventh month. It's coming up.

javi 18:30

It's coming up.

Ryan 18:30

I'll be 26 this year 26 Yup 26 and what the fuck do I have to show for it, javi?

Javi 18:36

I mean, you got a nice beard, dude. I wish I had a beard, appreciate it.

Ryan 18:40

Yeah, yours is fucking terrible. Yours is fucking terrible.

Ryan 18:43

Yours is fucking, I swear to God.

Javi 18:48

And yours looks like if you shaved your pubes and then glued them onto your face. Well, Ryan shaves his beard every day just because he's afraid of what he'll grow Me. I embrace it, man. One day I'm going to have a full beard.

Ryan 18:57

That is true, the only reason you shave your beard, and they're still going to hate on me.

Javi 19:00

One day it's going to. You know, I know it grows out, it fills in. One day it'll grow out and they'll be like oh nice, beard dude Bro you're 24.

Ryan 19:08

It's not happening.

Javi 19:10

They're hating man, they're hating.

Ryan 19:12

You've been hating since the moment you fucking got here.

Javi 19:15

And Ryan right now is wearing what are those? Are those fake Jordans, these?

javi 19:19

are dunks.

Javi 19:19

They're dunks.

Ryan 19:20

These are dunks Hold on hold on.

Javi 19:21

No, they're official. They're official. These are real these are real.

Ryan 19:24

He is right, though you do only.

Javi 19:26

You want to see the belt. So hold on, Let me clear this up, man.

Ryan 19:31

Clear it up, man.

Javi 19:36

The first time I met Ryan man oh my God, back in the day in middle school man I borrowed one of my good buddies. His name is Johnny. I borrowed one of his sweaters. Man, my sweater just wasn't good man, it just wasn't it. So I borrowed one of his hoodies. A girl says Javier, you look, and I was like that's understandable. Hell, yeah, hell, yeah, hell, yeah, that's understandable.

Ryan 20:01

I understand it, but look, I haven't heard that in years, dude. I have not heard that in years this sponsored hat.

Javi 20:08

Real nice hat, man. Shout out to them again Again. I cannot shout them out enough, man.

Ryan 20:13

What kind of pants are those, Javi? What kind of pants are those?

Javi 20:15

Before he tries to change the subject. Man, listen, listen. Ryan walked the first day he met me, you can't stop him. He walked up to me with tags on his hat and tags on his jacket. He did. His shoes still had the wrapper on them. He taped them to the shoe.

Ryan 20:34

It still had the crumpled up tissue tape on it he still had Inside of it.

Javi 20:39

You know that I don't know if you guys ever shopped at JCPenney, but they have like a little white.

Ryan 20:44

Hey, don't fucking hate on JCPenney. I thought they were closed down.

Javi 20:46

Hold on, I'm not hating, no, I'm telling them the truth.

Ryan 20:50

Oh no, I think they are closed down. It's TJ Maxx now. It's TJ Maxx.

Javi 20:53

That white button thing, the ink, the ink. If you, he stole the pants from. Jcpen penny I've never met, but you know what man? I love him to death. Man he's. He's one of the greatest persons ever.

Ryan 21:07

Man, I'm not lying about that yo I'm just gonna fucking get off the.

The middle

Javi 21:11

I'm gonna let javi fucking solo cast javi no, no, no, no, no, man, this is your. This is your. You know your podcast. That's why you're sitting in the middle.

Ryan 21:18

It seems like you tried to sit in the middle when we got back.

Ryan 21:20

Dude he did put the fucking biggest motherfucker in the middle today. It seems like you tried to sit in the middle when we got back. That's fucked up, dude. You did put the fucking biggest motherfucker in the middle.

Ryan 21:25

That's racist. That's actually sexist.

Javi 21:27

I try to sit in the middle Sexist towards fat people. He said you better get your beep beep ASS out of the seat before I body slam you like I did Ryan the other day and the beep beep was bean burrito ass, exactly. He tried to sit me in the middle, you guys. But you know what man? We love people like Ryan man.

Ryan 21:49

The less fortunate. I'm not even fucking talking over here. What?

Ryan 21:52

the fuck the less fortunate. What the fuck does that have to do?

Javi 21:55

I'm the biggest fan, but I met Kyle man. I met Kyle, you fell in love with Kyle.

Ryan 21:59

Nah, he, just he, kyle you fell in love with Kyle Nah he just, he's just my biggest fan.

Ryan 22:04

He don't even like the podcast.

Ryan 22:05

You said, I was the coolest hey stop.

Javi 22:10

So Ryan's buddy just left the shop. Stop, motherfucker. After podcast talk Let Kyle go first. Go ahead, kyle, go ahead. Well, I mean, this has been a shit show of an episode.

Ryan 22:26

I like it. It's a shit show of an episode. They say it's all over, not just because you're here. We've had fucking technical difficulties, camera difficulties, ryan's over there, fucking I think he wants to wrestle you man.

Ryan 22:38

What did I do?

Javi 22:43

You're just staring at him with the fucking eyes staring at the bowl cut. Yeah, I'm just letting you know, kyle, this is not what you want. Kyle and ryan and I keep getting their names confused. It's like I just met them, but I've known them for years, bro, I'm I don't know why, but we just, we're just so close dude, I get confused. They're like brothers basically, so it's like you know they get me confused with my brothers, I get them confused.

Ryan 23:07

Don't get confused with your brothers, javier.

Javi 23:12

So, the camera died. We're having some technical difficulties. Off camera. Ryan said you and your brother are identical.

Ryan 23:21

You are very similar to your older brother, Eric.

Javi 23:24

And I've never heard anything more true, that's wild.

Ryan 23:25

Your mom was pumping babies out Pumping babies.

Javi 23:28

No One of my aunties she has-.

Ryan 23:32

Did you show her all your girlfriends she?

Javi 23:34

lives in Texas. I don't know how many kids she has. I want to say about 13. God damn.

Ryan 23:41

My mom only has five right, but you and eric are only what a year apart hell.

Javi 23:45

No, that's like three years, four years not three fucking years four years. He said how old is he? 26, 26, you, 24? I just turned 24, like a couple days ago so like two and a half years no, he's older than me, man.

javi 24:05

Older than me by a lot. What'd you do for your birthday, Javi? For my birthday. Yeah, it just happened. What happened?

Javi 24:09

I got real drunk with my cousin man.

Ryan 24:14

You guys have so many fucking cousins. Nah man, yes, you do man.

Javi 24:19

Shout out to my older cousin man. He bought me food that day drinks.

Ryan 24:25

What'd you get? Chipotle? No man.

Ryan 24:27

I got Burger King, oh my.

Ryan 24:32

I forgot they don't have a Chipotle where?

Javi 24:34

you're from man.

Ryan 24:36

There they go hating again, you guys.

Javi 24:38

Hey listen, man. They said there was a rumor we were about to get Wawa, but that didn't happen.

Ryan 24:45

We got Taco Bell, but you got Taco Bell, but no Wawa in the town. No.

Javi 24:48

Wawa, we barely. I mean, we got Walmart In between like Three towns Bro.

Ryan 24:54

No, listen, listen, if you know Listen.

Javi 24:57

If you know Burger King, you know it's good man.

Ryan 25:00

They don't know.

javi 25:01

Listen, listen, know burger king, you know it's good man?

Javi 25:03

they don't know listen, listen, they're kyle grew up in like uh, let's say around like one point, no, like more than a quarter mil, back in like 1980s. What the fuck is this guy talking? About they bought it. His parents bought a house like a quarter mil, a little bit over a quarter mil.

Javi 25:24

Ryan, you know he got a couple 20,000. Bro, we grew up in the dirt man, I'm talking about in the mud. But then when I was born, I got blessed man. They bought a house. I was like, wow, nice house. You didn't get blessed with good facial hair, I got blessed man, they bought a house, I was like wow, nice house.

Ryan 25:44

You didn't get blessed with good facial hair, man. No bro. You didn't get blessed with good facial hair, no hair.

Javi 25:49

Okay, let's be honest. Okay, Viewers, I don't know if you know, I don't know if they've let you know. Kyle, he lies about his age how old am I, motherfucker, dude he's, let's be nice.

Ryan 26:09

He's almost 30.

Javi 26:09

Over 30. I just turned, they say 24.

Ryan 26:13

If I look almost 30, how?

Javi 26:14

fucking old. Does Ryan look, Dude? I?

Ryan 26:17

just turned 21. I think Javi has me beat you look like you're fucking 35.

Javi 26:21

And Ryan, he's a 40 year old man, dude, Get the fuck out 40 year old virgin.

Ryan 26:26

You know where I met Ryan.

Javi 26:27

Let's keep it a buck, let's keep it a buck, let's keep it on it. You know where I met Ryan? Where. I met Ryan in a video game lobby.

Ryan 26:40

Oh, that's technically true.

javi 26:42

He claimed to be 16, 15 at the time, dude, I was like a 12-year-old kid dude.

Javi 26:52

Where the fuck are you going with this?

Ryan 26:54

Where the fuck are you going with this?

Ryan 26:55

He said you're a predator on the video game.

Javi 26:57

He's 40 years old, bro.

Ryan 27:00

You're trying to get the young snares.

Javi 27:02

But but, bro, you're trying to get the young snooze, but but dudes. He has some of the nicest tattoos you've ever seen. Man, Mm-hmm, Mm-hmm. You know he actually inspired one of my tattoos that I have right here.

Ryan 27:19

Are you going to show Dude, I can't, because my hoodie won't go up that If I can't.

Javi 27:23

I can't Because my hoodie Won't go up. That If I would, I could.

Ryan 27:26

You can take your arm Out of your hoodie.

Javi 27:28

I don't want to Take off my shirt. You know it might be too.

Ryan 27:31

Yeah, it might age restrict the video. It might be too Explicit for YouTube. Yeah, it might age restrict it.

Javi 27:35

But I got an Upside down Kraus, kraus.

javi 27:38

With Crouse.

Javi 27:40

With a basketball on it.

javi 27:42

I have never played.

Ryan 27:43

I have never played For a basketball team Javi Never.

Javi 27:47

Fuck you, dude.

javi 27:49

Motherfucker oh my god that.

MacDonald's Chillin

Ryan 27:52

That Burger King that almost Sent me over the edge Bro. That almost Sent me over. I'm not hating on Burger King, listen, listen. I was on the phone with Eric. He was back home In y'all's hometown. I said, oh, what are you doing tonight? He said we're going to go hang out at Burger King. We're going to go sit inside. Dude, it's the luxury.

Javi 28:10

They changed the rules. You can't chill at McDonald's more than like 30 minutes, dude, I used to spend hours at McDonald's. I hey, I'm chilling at McDonald's today, come over here You're chilling at McDonald's or MacDonald's. Dude, whatever. Whatever gets them there bro.

Ryan 28:26

Yeah, you guys are fucking loitering.

Javi 28:27

Dude? No, but I used to buy a soda. I used to buy a soda.

Ryan 28:31

Bro, if I was walking up to the door and I saw you through the glass sitting there, I'm not going in.

Javi 28:37

Dude, I'm like 12 years old, it's a kid.

Ryan 28:39

You scare me School shooter.

Javi 28:42

I got enough for a.

Ryan 28:43

No, for real Mexicans.

Javi 28:45

don't shoot schools For a soda If there was somebody shooting up the school. It's not Mexican I would be the one to be standing in front of the bullet for you.

Ryan 28:54

Shut the why. You don't think so. I'm saying no. I'm not saying I don't believe you, I'm saying why.

Javi 29:00

Because, man, that's how much I'm a fan of you and how much I love this stuff. Okay, y'all want to get Hold on, let's get deep. Let's get deep, let's lower it down, let's lower it down, let's lower it down. Okay, so check this out.

Ryan 29:15

Like in your low rider eh.

Javi 29:17

That's racist. But check this out. No, this is a true fact. This is true fact. They're not ready for this, y'all guys. All right true true, About a year ago, I don't even know how long ago it was. You know I'm home alone. I'm taking a shower. My little sister's over here, you know, in the room doing.

Ryan 29:37

Yo, what the fuck are you doing your little sister's in the shower with you?

Javi 29:39

No, I'm saying I'm in the shower, my little sister's in her room.

Ryan 29:44

A different room? Yeah, she's in her room.

Javi 29:45

All right, you got to clarify I get a phone call, you know, and usually when my sisters are calling, they're like hey, you know, the door's locked, open the door and I'm like, oh, you know what, okay, okay, I'm there, I'm there, I'm there, hold on, hold on, just give me two seconds. I'm out of the shower. This time, you know, I'm like my little sister's out of the house, locked out. You know what, let me just wait a little bit. And you ran out naked.

Ryan 30:09

No, you ran out naked.

Javi 30:10

Look, check this out. I'm like you know what, let me just chill for a little bit. Hey, man, pick up the phone. My little sister's crying. Imagine if you have a little sister, little brother, whatever, crying, you know, crying, you know. And it's like, hey, somebody's in the house. So you know my, you know, instinct is just like get out and you know, go see what's going on. I'm the only like you know, so I go out. You know, like instinct is turn off the light as soon as I open the door. Look left, look right, look left. Nobody's there, nobody's there. There's a random man, like a foot two, two feet taller than me, bro, like just sitting there claiming he lives there. I'm like what? I'm like, bro, you better get out of the house. He comes up to me and you know me like I've slapped box plenty of people, I've got my. You know I bled.

Javi 30:58

You know my, my cousin like hit me in the liver. I dropped the floor. I'm tasting blood in my mouth, but I've never gotten into like a fight, like oh, you know, like you know we're fighting, you know. So it's like damn. Like I hope my punches hurt, you know. As soon as you know I went like this. You know I'm not going to hit you, whatever, whatever. I kept it cool for my fist to hit him. He dropped like a noodle.

Ryan 31:21

You know what's crazy? This is actually a true story.

Ryan 31:25

I have heard this story before.

Javi 31:28

I'm naked bro.

Ryan 31:30

And everybody you know, he got like really real for like two seconds.

Javi 31:33

People laughing like oh, you were naked, whatever, bro, that's my little sister. Bro, like you're wilding, bro, like what? Like I don't care if I'm fully clothed and full armor, bulletproof. No, I'm out there. Bro You're wilding, so I go out there, get them out of the house. You know, I usually have, like you know, that iron. You know, but I didn't have it, bro, I didn't have it.

Ryan 31:52

You got the heat, you got the blicky.

Javi 31:55

I would have caught, and you know everybody in my family is like good thing you didn't. No, they didn't say that. My oldest brother said dude, don't you think that would have scared your sister more if you caught a body that day than you know just getting them out of the house? Yeah, dude.

Ryan 32:16

That's why you would take a bullet for Ryan. That's why I would take a bullet for you. He literally, just out of nowhere, just said the realest story of all time Got super deep, super personal. They want to get deep.

Javi 32:30

That's real and that's why I'm.

Ryan 32:32

That's why he'd take a bullet for Ryan.

Javi 32:34

That's why I'm saying I met Ryan. He claimed he was like 15, 16, 14. Bro, he was a 40-year-old man.

Ryan 32:42

You'd body, his stepdad, for him I don't have I don't have a stepdad. You'd body, his mom's boyfriend for him.

Ryan 32:49

My mom doesn't have a boyfriend.

Ryan 32:50

Because he can't take him out by himself. You'd body him, for him, I'd body him Before.

Javi 32:55

I would even step into that.

Ryan 32:57

Put the mic on your fucking mouth.

Javi 32:59

Why haven't you stepped up for him? If he had to kick you at home, why haven't you stepped up for him? You're big Kyle man.

Ryan 33:06

I'm big man, Mr Kyle.

Javi 33:09

Why haven't you stepped up for your buddy bro that? Why haven't you stepped up for your?

Ryan 33:14

buddy bro. That's the real question. Do you not like him?

Ryan 33:17

Dude Ryan is loving every second of this. I'm loving this shit, dude. I am loving it.

Ryan 33:22

Keep it pumping, javi, keep it going. Buddy, keep it going. Ryan thinks I'm in a love triangle, a little position I can't get myself out of. You think I'm on my back foot.

Ryan 33:32

He's getting up your sleeve right now.

Javi 33:33

Javier puts me on my back foot. He's getting up your sleeve right now. Listen, listen, you guys.

Ryan 33:38

We'll listen to you.

Javi 33:38

Javier, listen you guys. So I'm here just hanging out visiting my buddies.

Ryan 33:46

For some reason they keep saying I'm taking over the podcast.

Javi 33:49

Javier, keep it rolling, buddy, keep it rolling, I'm so enthusiastic about this podcast and you know everything they do Shout out to the sponsors. I hope I get to sponsor them one day with a better camera.

Ryan 34:02

We do need a better Apparently, we need a better camera.

Javi 34:05

Fuck. And this is all jokes, Don't think no?

Ryan 34:09

literally everything.

Javi 34:10

Javier has said is true. Don't take anything serious 100% serious.

Ryan 34:13

He believes everything he said.

Ryan 34:16

The only thing he's joking about is his fucking bowl cut.

Ryan 34:18

You are the most truthful guy I've ever heard. I've ever met what you never told a lie.

Ryan 34:26

Javi, don't believe it. He's gaslighting you right now. Dude you just turned 30.

Javi 34:29

How am I? The realest person you ever met. That's impossible, bro. You met like a thousand people. Like times ten.

javi 34:36

There's like three games playing right now.

Javi 34:39

That's fucking awesome. Hey, shout out to anyone who's listening out there. Yeah, because this is a goddamn shit.

Ryan 34:45

show man If somebody they're listening to everything.

Javi 34:48

I don't think I see them on the camera. Shout out Carlos. Shout out Carlos. I don't think you look like a Goomba. They do.

Ryan 34:55

I think you look great. Wait, wait, wait, wait wait. I think, Carlos will very much appreciate this episode. You agreed 100% that he looks like a Goomba.

Javi 35:06

Who.

Ryan 35:06

You, javi, javi XO. No, no, add me on Xbox. It is funny. It kind of seems like a racial thing, like every single guest we'll ever have Is just going to be a Mexican dude.

Javi 35:14

To replace Carlos.

Ryan 35:16

It's just going to be another Mexican dude Dude. We could literally Just like Just have a different Mexican dude In here every week. That'd be awesome. That'd be awesome. So, and we just call him Carlos every week.

Javi 35:31

They visited a Mexican store in my hometown, not too long ago.

Ryan 35:34

I did, I did. I haven't been there.

Javi 35:38

They kept calling everybody in that store my name. They kept saying hey, where you at Like you know they called me. They're like oh, I'm in this aisle, I'm in this aisle. They went to that aisle and I was in that aisle.

Ryan 35:51

I don't think that store has aisles.

Javi 35:54

They went to that aisle and I was in that aisle I don't think that store has aisles. They ran, they do, there he goes again. They went up to the shortest brownest guy that does not speak English, not aisle numbers, there they go.

Ryan 36:06

How fucking from where you're from? Why is everybody so fucking small out there? Because you guys are not small. Hold on hold on.

Javi 36:15

Let let me clarify something sure um, they are not where way where I am from. I am american. I was born in florida.

Javi 36:25

They sure from other countries. There he goes again. So they are from other countries, you know, uh, they got a work visa to work. Whatever job harvesting whatever, whatever pays they got a visa to work and that's why you see them around in the buses. They're working, man, they're just working. And Kyle thinks that everybody that has my skin tone or just the slightest bit darker is from Guatemala. Man, I don't know why.

Ryan 37:00

I don't think he thinks it's from Guatemala, that's probably Is Guatemala in Mexico.

Javi 37:06

Listen, man, you heard it here first.

Ryan 37:10

At the newest Lowe's podcast, at the newest Lowe's buddy, he said a statement and you know, at the newest Lowe's podcast, at the newest Lowe's buddy.

Javi 37:13

He he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he. Mexican American.

Ryan 37:30

They say that one first, mexican American.

Ryan 37:32

Mexican American. I will agree with that.

Javi 37:35

Listen man, what about?

Ryan 37:36

a. What about a black guy, you mean, who was born in Brooklyn? You say African American. Listen, mr Kyle, I'm white, white.

Javi 37:42

Mr.

javi 37:43

Ryan.

Ryan 37:44

I'm American American.

Javi 37:46

When we? I don't know, I know you said you went to school In Colorado.

Ryan 37:49

Kyle, I did, I did.

Javi 37:50

But when us you know, I did, I did. But when us you know, floridians take a test known as the F cap.

Ryan 37:57

It was a C cap.

javi 37:58

for me C cap.

Ryan 38:00

ASAP, asap, asap, rocky. Hey, jinx, you owe me a fucking dick suck. There he goes again.

Javi 38:06

Listen man, there he goes again.

Ryan 38:14

Listen man, they make you sign a thing if you're African-American.

Javi 38:20

Hispanic.

Ryan 38:21

Yeah, it's on every application ever for anything.

Javi 38:24

Javi, javi, they made a sign that we are white.

Ryan 38:27

Javi, how did you do on those FCAT tests?

Javi 38:30

I passed them.

Ryan 38:31

I definitely did better than you, ryan. Wait, yeah, did you graduate high school, javi? Oh yeah, I don't believe this.

Javi 38:35

I graduated valid Victorian bro.

Ryan 38:38

No, you did not yes, I did. He said valid Victorian. Where's the video?

Javi 38:43

Somewhere in my phone. I'll show it to you right off stream dude.

Ryan 38:46

Where you did you graduate?

Ryan 38:48

Off stream hey, shout out to chat. Shout out chat W chat. Valid retard Dictorian True story Fact.

Javi 38:58

Check this, ryan. Didn't you get hard Off of Like out of 10th grade Because you had like Illegal substances In?

Ryan 39:06

Your book bag Substances no 9th grade 9th grade.

Javi 39:10

No, it was 9th grade.

Ryan 39:12

No.

Javi 39:13

I don't know. He says he's 21. He's 40.

Ryan 39:16

We don't know what this guy is, what the fuck is going on here Again. I'm not 40. I'm older than you by like nine months 40. So you're 39 if I'm 40.

Javi 39:28

Hell. No, you look like you're 39.

Ryan 39:30

Dude, you look like you're 39. Dude, you look like you're like you look like you're retarded, inbred Mexican Theo Vaughn.

Javi 39:35

Hold on, hold on, hold on Did Theo, Did he just say?

Ryan 39:39

Theo Vaughn he did Bro.

Javi 39:41

Hey Listen, man, hold on, hold on. He said Theo Vaughn, let's get ignorant right here.

Ryan 39:46

Bro, this man thinks the camera loves him. He keeps looking.

Javi 39:50

I have not been ignorant once in this podcast. Let's get ignorant. Let's get ignorant Theo Vaughn and bread Dude. You look like Theo Vaughn had a kid Bread with them, right oh what does that mean?

Ryan 40:05

Incest, incest, incest.

javi 40:07

I just called you incest.

Ryan 40:08

And then slept with Mr Kyle and then and then what and then got thrown in a dumpster, left there for a long time.

Javi 40:19

And then Graduated.

Ryan 40:22

Let's see where he goes with this.

Javi 40:23

From juvenile detention. So let's bring it back to that. Let's bring it back to that, back to what let's bring it back to that, back to what let's bring it back to that Back to what. I don't know if this was recorded or not. Ryan said that he went to juvenile detention. I did. You were only in there for like a day, right?

Ryan 40:45

Javi, I have the picture if you want to see it.

Javi 40:47

They shoved something like a broomstick. Hey, man, he was violated in there. Man, he was violated in there. Man, he was violated.

Ryan 40:54

Sexually. Where do you want this fucking conversation to go is my only question.

Javi 41:00

I just want you to admit.

Ryan 41:04

Do not say that word.

Javi 41:05

We cannot say that word anymore that you got violated, dude.

Ryan 41:08

I did not get violated. I have not got violated.

Javi 41:13

So there was no broomstick? No, and you weren't in juvie.

Ryan 41:17

I was in juvie, but there was no broomstick, so he was in juvie. I was in juvie, yeah.

Javi 41:22

And there was no one named Kelsey. Who the? What the fuck? That's a chick's name, no.

Ryan 41:29

Travis Kelsey, yeah.

Ryan 41:32

C-E-L-S-E.

Javi 41:33

Hold on, hold on. Okay, let's keep it. A buck man.

Ryan 41:36

What do you mean? Keep it a buck, let's keep it 100. You're keeping it negative 10 bucks. What?

Ryan 41:41

What Kyle just said. That's racist. You're saying he don't make no money because he's Mexican.

Ryan 41:47

He said we're going to keep it a buck. I said we're 10 bucks Right, just because he's Mexican.

javi 41:52

Oh my.

Ryan 41:53

See what I'm saying this is fucked, this is fucked Now it's on you Now.

Ryan 41:58

It's four games, amen.

Javi 42:00

So what we?

Ryan 42:00

want to say we're playing 4D chess right now, so what?

Javi 42:02

we want to say from all of us here man-.

Ryan 42:05

Yeah, shout out everybody. Just thank you, man, thank you, we do. We do Dude, if anybody listens to this and gets all the way through it, jesus Christ.

Ryan 42:15

It's going to be gnarly.

Javi 42:16

Javi he's going to listen to this shit on repeat every single day of the week. I'm going to get all through this dude.

Ryan 42:23

You need to say a couple rosaries and go to confession after this man.

Javi 42:28

Is it because I'm brown that you think I'm Catholic? Let's not, dare man.

Ryan 42:32

I'm Catholic. You come from a Catholic country.

Javi 42:34

I'm Catholic, yeah, but I grew up in a Catholic church. But you got red hair bro.

Ryan 42:36

I'm not you, I'm not a fucking ginger.

Javi 42:41

I didn't say that.

Ryan 42:43

Having red hair is the ginger.

Javi 42:44

Who.

Ryan 42:47

Is there an owl in the room? Who?

Javi 42:49

Just because Kyle called you, that Doesn't mean I'm saying that you have you just said it.

javi 42:53

What do you?

Javi 42:53

mean I'm just saying you have red hair dude.

Ryan 42:55

I don't have red hair and you I got luscious brown hair.

Javi 42:58

So so your, your Jesus piece your cross that you have Doesn't signify you didn't say that that you're Christian. Did you not invite me to this Tomorrow? It's what is no. Tomorrow it's Sunday. He invited me to church Sunday and I asked him what kind of church is it?

Ryan 43:18

The Sabbath.

Javi 43:19

I'm not really into church. He said it's a Christian and he took out his chain and then for some reason he took out another chain and he just kissed the letter D, dude.

Ryan 43:28

It's a Christian. He just goes to a dude's house who's named Christian and sucks his dick. He gets baptized Bye Christian.

Javi 43:35

He gets baptized.

Ryan 43:36

By Christian. You got baptized. I did get baptized.

Javi 43:38

Good call by Christian Catholic, by Christian Catholic.

javi 43:42

Catholic.

Javi 43:43

Catholic's dude.

Ryan 43:44

I got baptized, first communion, and then confirmed in the Catholic church. Oh, confirmation, take a bathroom break.

Ryan 43:52

We only have eight minutes left, motherfucker. Well, let's keep it going.

javi 43:56

Put your headphones back on Javi.

Ryan 43:57

This is such a motherfucking shit show.

Ryan 43:59

You can go over here, you can go. No, dude, I got to go to the restroom.

Javi 44:01

Go ahead, go ahead. You can leave if you want.

Ryan 44:06

Does your little dirt dick hurt that bad.

Ryan 44:08

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on, I don't want to go there. Do Mexicans have big penises? Avi.

Javi 44:12

Bro, listen, man. I'm just letting you know right now, man, what man, I'm not going to say too much, but for my birthday I was sending a lot of messages. You know, have a wonderful day, have a wonderful birthday. You know, you know, and you know you got the biggest. You know, whatever.

Ryan 44:29

Shut the fuck up let's biggest piece.

Javi 44:31

Hey man, listen, let's not get into that, let's not get into that. I'd like to Okay, okay Again, let's keep it about. So, Ryan, when I got here, he said that you know, obviously it's been recorded that you know and it's been documented that he paid $700, you know, to do a little bit of bar. This is such a stupid fucking podcast.

javi 44:57

It was the day before, it was the day before yesterday. We went out.

Ryan 44:59

You know, we went to the gentleman's club.

Javi 45:00

You know we're gentlemen. So you know we went out and ryan, you know, had this you know I don't want to behemoth man and you know she, she got excited. She saw, saw Ryan. You know Shout out to my boy Ryan. You know they said he's a good-looking guy. She jumped. She might have injured one of his body parts. He had to go to the doctor. We don't know if it's going to work again, so I really don't think you want to take it there.

Ryan 45:28

It's so funny because it's a lie, but there is some truth to what?

Javi 45:32

he's saying he put cream on his stuff before we started the podcast.

Ryan 45:39

That's the truth.

Javi 45:40

And I said, Ryan, if you need me to take you to the hospital, I'm right here.

Ryan 45:46

You did have to cream your dick. Let's keep it a buck, man. Let's keep it a buck. You burnt it, it got burnt. It didn't get broken. It got burnt. It didn't get broken, it got burnt.

Ryan 45:55

It didn't get burnt like how you guys are making it seem like it got burnt.

Javi 45:58

All right, so okay. Okay, I wasn't going to take it there. Kyle wants to back him up Again. Let's keep it a buck. Kyle, you know after he got that lap dance from the drag, you know oh my god, he started.

Ryan 46:13

You know, it was like a metamorphosis man.

Javi 46:15

He started, you know, morphing man, and he came up to me, you know, saying all kinds of crazy stuff and I was like whoa kyle, like you know me, buddy, like come on you know me, this dude's got a fucking 30 second memory span god barbie he's like, hey, r you ever had a lap dance by a man? And you know, Ryan being the curious guy, he was like no, buddy, I haven't. So Kyle went and bop.

Ryan 46:43

What the fuck is going on here. Let's keep it a buck Everybody's going to. You're fucked, Javi. You're so fucked, Javi. You're so fucked. I didn't know where that was going. I didn't know where that was going either.

Javi 46:55

You're fucked they know, dude, they know, they know.

Ryan 46:59

It did not go where I thought it was going to.

Javi 47:02

It's okay, dude, there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that.

Ryan 47:08

Don't put us in this position because we obviously can't say yes, there is something wrong with that. I'm a red-blooded American, I bleed red, white and blue, you motherfuckers are. So what is going on?

Ryan 47:28

You guys are so fucked. This is fucked. What do you think, ryan? This is fucked. What do you? This is fucked. This is fucked. What do you think, ryan? This is fucked. Try to bring the episode to a closer. Well, obviously, don't believe a fucking word that Javi says. I can just start out with that. He's all over the fucking place, kyle. What do you got to say, buddy?

Ryan 47:49

I want to let Javier close this out. No, no, no. This has obviously been the Javier episode. No, no, no, no, wait, hold on. I have never seen Kyle this baffled before in my entire life. He just said I jumped on your dick and broke it.

Ryan 48:03

We obviously know that's not fucking true who.

javi 48:07

Oh okay.

Ryan 48:08

Here we go. Now you fucking, oh my God. And now you're baffled. My boys are gonna think I'm gay Dude.

Ryan 48:14

They're gonna think I'm gay Dude.

Javi 48:16

And there's nothing wrong with that. I'm not gay, javi.

Ryan 48:19

Obviously there's nothing wrong with that For YouTube purposes. Whoever is out there, we can't we legally can't say nowadays that there is something wrong with being gay. That's a hate crime.

Javi 48:29

Dude, there's nothing wrong with that, it's okay.

Ryan 48:32

There's nothing wrong with that, it's okay.

Ryan 48:33

There's nothing wrong with that, I think Javi's gay.

Javi 48:34

Who.

Ryan 48:35

You who who Listen man, he loves the camera, he fucking loves the fucking camera.

Ryan 48:43

Yo we created a demon, just bringing him on here. Look at him. He's staring right in the fucking camera.

Javi 48:48

Listen, man. All I know is that this has been one of the greatest episodes there ever been.

Ryan 48:55

No, it's just been one of the greatest experiences.

Javi 48:57

Of your life. You fucking love it here man, and Kyle is one of the most Genuine you know persons I've ever met.

Ryan 49:08

Genuine people, not persons.

Javi 49:10

Shout out to Ryan, you know. For what we got real ignorant here and I just want to shout him out, man, and you know if you can see that?

Ryan 49:22

Oh my God, it's all Shout that out man. It's all for the camera. Shout that out, man, it's all for the fucking you, this man's a self-promo.

Carlos

Javi 49:31

And shout out to Carlos man. This man's a self promo, and shout out to Shout out to Carlos man.

Ryan 49:33

Yo Do shout out, carlos.

Javi 49:35

Without, without Carlos, I wouldn't be here, man, because, to be honest, carlos kicked in the door For brown people To be on podcast.

Ryan 49:41

Oh For, be on Podcast or palcast.

Javi 49:44

Whichever one you agree with, buddy, but look, listen, man, this has been a great episode.

Ryan 49:50

Fucking god dude.

Javi 49:51

We have got to go. Kyle has to use the restroom. Ryan is itching for another lap dance from you know, and you know, that's just been it, man. Shout out to Newest Lowe's fans hey, one more thing before.

Ryan 50:04

I go oh my.

Javi 50:05

God dude. Newest Lowe's does not have an official Facebook page, but they do have a fan page, so follow that. Make sure you tune in and again if you search us up on YouTube, it's Newest Lowe's Without a Space. Thank you so much for listening.

Ryan 50:24

Great promo surrounded by a bunch of bullshit.

Ryan 50:27

By a bunch of fuckery Fuck you, we will.

Ryan 50:32

This was Officially you might hear this out of sync, out of order, but if this comes out, this is the very first recording without Carlos. We miss him. We miss him dearly I wish he was here.

Ryan 50:46

Miss him dearly.

Ryan 50:47

This dude fucking sucks. Carlos is way better when he just sits there and doesn't talk much.

Javi 50:54

Shout out Carlos, man, I miss you, buddy, man, I miss you, buddy.

Ryan 50:58

But yeah, the Goomba, this is what we have to deal with when you're not here. So it's been the newest Lowe's Goodbye.

javi 51:06

Goodbye.