Newest Lows

Episode 12: Our biggest fan is wild!

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We share tales of local traffic woes and tip our hats (courtesy of Z Money) to our absent friend Carlos, it's clear that this episode is a melting pot. We touch on everything from the misunderstood art of hanging at McDonald's to the bravery behind confronting a home invader. Our conversations dance on the fine line between hilarity and heartfelt, as we explore the depths of friendship and the lengths we'd go for each other—bullets and all. It's an episode that meanders through the ridiculous and the relatable, leaving you with a sense of being part of our extended, if slightly dysfunctional, family. So pull up a chair, lend us your ears, and get ready to laugh, facepalm, and maybe even shed a tear with your favorite group of jesters.

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Ryan:

Alright, we're back on Jesus Christ. This is going to be yeah, it's going to be a. Hopefully his fucking camera works. We've been having some trouble with this camera.

Ryan:

I'm staring at it right now it's a little bit of technical difficulties.

Ryan:

Yeah, I mean, it's still. I mean, look at this man, look at this man, hey man we literally as a bitch bro. We're still figuring the fucking kinks out, so Don't say these pussies.

Ryan:

Who said these pussies Sometimes.

Ryan:

I'm just calling the fucking listeners Pussies.

Javi:

What? Why Kyle?

Ryan:

If they complain About the camera.

javi:

No.

Javi:

So don't complain About the camera.

javi:

No one's complaining, kyle, so don't complain about the camera no one's complaining Because I don't think we'll have.

Ryan:

I don't think we have video for like the first five to ten minutes, but Kyle had to deep freeze the camera.

Javi:

bro, it was broken. Eric did have to put the the battery was fucked up.

Ryan:

Eric did have to put it in the freezer, but we're here, dude, we're here, dude.

Javi:

Now we're back.

Ryan:

We're back with Javier we're live dude, the biggest fan.

Ryan:

Javi XO.

Ryan:

Yeah, our number one fan, javier Javi. What's your sex life?

Javi:

My sex life yeah how's that going?

Ryan:

for you Pretty mid dry Tsunami.

Javi:

It's alright. It's alright. I don't wanna say too much, man. I actually been talking to this girl. Man, she's real good, she's a nice girl.

Ryan:

Fat.

Javi:

Nah.

Ryan:

White.

Javi:

Nah, she's brown.

Ryan:

Oh, she's brown like you. Damn, you don't like white girls.

Javi:

No, no, I love all girls, but I'm just saying, like you know, like the latest one, it's like she's brown. You know Talking.

Ryan:

Is she a junior in high school?

Javi:

No.

Ryan:

Yo Yo, what the fuck.

Ryan:

That was a fucking.

Ryan:

I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding.

Ryan:

He's been fucking being a motherfucker since he got here. I'm just getting him stirred up.

Javi:

So if we're going to keep it real man they've been hating on me man.

Ryan:

Oh, you're crazy, oh my God. You're crazy dude, oh my God.

Javi:

They're not gonna let me talk.

Ryan:

Oh, that's a Kyle thing.

Javi:

Let me talk, let me talk, alright, so first things first.

Ryan:

Talk, bro. You've been talking the whole fucking time.

Javi:

Shout out to whoever made these hats Real good hats. I try to wear it. It's real nice. It's real nice. I just You're gonna fucking Piss me off.

Ryan:

It's real nice dude Shout out my boy Fucking.

Javi:

Shout out to Kyle's boy Z Money.

Ryan:

Z Money my young bull, my young bull, z Money, sent us these hats. We've already Fucking talked about it. Motherfucker, I'm shouting out, I'm shouting out. My young bull.

Javi:

Z Money.

Ryan:

Z Money with the hats.

Javi:

Oh, it's a shit show. It's a shit show, hey man. What kind of fans Did you tell? Can you send me your address?

javi:

Yeah, I can send you the address.

Javi:

I don't think I have the new address that you're at. I still have 120. You're not at 120 anymore, are you? No, the guys can hear you. We're right next door, though I have no idea what you're talking about. Yeah, I'll send you that, okay, thanks.

Ryan:

Oh my goodness, eric, the fucking Riz God.

Ryan:

We have a female coming, javi, nice, nice, nice. What are you going to do? I?

Javi:

don't know. I just hope they get here safe man.

Ryan:

Pray to God. I just hope they get here safe, drive safe.

Javi:

I was on I-4. Why are y'all driving so crazy man?

Ryan:

Somebody almost hit my car. Welcome to Orlando, motherfucker. You were driving like maniacs.

Ryan:

I fucking drive 35 minutes on I-4 every single day? No, that's one way I'm driving over an hour on I-4 every day.

Ryan:

I did it for a while too, buddy.

Ryan:

You know what you have to do. You have to drive. Just stay behind a big truck going pretty slow.

Javi:

Whoever cares about me. I was going to speed limit To my buddies.

Ryan:

Yo there's fucking neighbors downstairs. Don't slam on the floor like that man. You're right you're right.

Javi:

You're right, Jesus Christ. He just gave a shout out to our location. We are an apartment studio.

Ryan:

Studio apartment. You can tell from YouTube we are in an apartment studio.

Ryan:

Studio apartment. You can tell from YouTube that we are in an apartment.

Javi:

Can't you.

Ryan:

That fucking green turf fell on Carlos.

Javi:

Look, man, I don't know, man, I couldn't tell.

Ryan:

I feel like you were in a mansion.

Javi:

I mean, you got sponsors.

Ryan:

Shit, we do. Got Z Money. Zerman Z-R-. Oh shit, Z-I-R-M-A-N. This is your boy, bro Dot com, Look that shit up. Buy a goddamn hat, motherfucker.

Javi:

It's nice.

Ryan:

They're fire Newest Lowe's on YouTube. Obviously We'll fucking talk about it later, eric. So, where is Carlos? Carlos has got family shit.

Ryan:

He's back home dude, it's not bad.

Ryan:

It's not bad family shit. He's there. What? He's back home, dude, it's not bad. It's not bad family shit. He's there. What do you think about, carlos? You've been listening watching.

Javi:

What do you think about?

Ryan:

Carlos, tell it how you really feel.

Javi:

I don't know if the camera can pick this up, but there's a Goomba sitting in front of me, man, they're saying that's Carlos.

Ryan:

That is.

Javi:

Now, carlos is cool. You know I love the podcast. I feel like these guys kind of bully him man.

Ryan:

Oh, and it's not because he's brown, javi. Javi, don't even get me fucking started, buddy.

Ryan:

This motherfucker's like trying to start a race war between us he is. Half of this podcast is brown and we're the other half.

Javi:

You're not brown. No I thought your favorite artist was Peso Pluma.

Ryan:

Peso Pluma can suck my balls. What I do like Peso Pluma, I do like Bad Bunny can suck my dick for real. Oh, it's because he was talking to his auntie about. Yeah, we talked about the auntie and the pretty fucking girls.

Ryan:

Javi loves talking about the aunties and pretty girls.

Ryan:

This isn't your first time meeting, javier.

Ryan:

It is. Oh, it is, it is yeah.

Javi:

It's not my first time meeting you, though yes it is I met you, dude, when? So we weren't at that. Mitt Romney, the what the?

Ryan:

Mitt.

Javi:

Romney, what a.

Ryan:

Crazy Fucking Mitt Romney, what?

Ryan:

a crazy. He sounds like a fucking senator, you don't know yeah.

Javi:

We were there back in the day. We were like, yes, let's go.

Ryan:

Mitt Romney ran for president against Obama. No, that was McCain. No.

Javi:

Kyle was crying dude. I can't believe we're this close. He was crying man.

Ryan:

Mitt Romney is a crazy fucking call. That's a gnarly one. What did he do? He ran for president at some point. To all the older folks yeah, he's a gnarly one. What did he do?

Javi:

He ran for president at some point To all the older folks.

Ryan:

Yeah, he's a senator from Utah, I mean.

Javi:

Ryan was Early. You were, you know, just hanging out earlier. Ryan was saying Kony 2012. I don't know if you guys remember that, but Saying what. Kony 2012.

Ryan:

Who the fuck is Kony? I never understood what was Kony 2012? That's your boy yeah, explain it. I never understood those signs.

Javi:

Dude. He worshipped him like he was a god.

Ryan:

Kony is not like a real person. It was like a thing.

Ryan:

I just met you for the first time, an hour and a half ago.

Javi:

What the fuck are you talking about? I've been knowing this guy for like a decade. We met in middle school man, Javier.

Ryan:

none of us have ever met you, other than your fucking brother, Eric. Tell the people who you are, man.

Javi:

Let all the fans know who you are. They just found me in the side of a Walmart man. They said hey, we got this podcast going on, want to join it?

Ryan:

Not Walmart, bro. You know, it was a fucking Home Depot.

Ryan:

You know what the thing is that you two do have in common. You both have big fucking schnozzes Me and you.

Ryan:

You and Javi, I was going to say that earlier.

Ryan:

Javi's got a big fucking schnoz Fucking Mount Rushmore noses.

Ryan:

It's literally like a perfect flat top for glasses, like it sits perfectly on the glasses.

Javi:

You can't see that in the camera.

Ryan:

Well, show the camera. Your side profile no.

Javi:

I'm saying about you.

Ryan:

No, the guy with the nose.

Javi:

Because you do. Ryan is skinnier than he looks like on camera.

Ryan:

You're skinnier.

Javi:

Mr Kyle. They met. I was listening Look, I'm the biggest fan of this podcast and they made him sound like a behemoth when I met him. The guy is skinny man.

Ryan:

He does not look like he does on camera. Keep hyping him up, dude.

Javi:

Hyping him up. He looks skinnier in person, Bro it sounds like we hired this fucking dude.

Ryan:

It does.

Ryan:

I'm not paying you, I don't have any money.

Javi:

I'm not paying you. They said 15 an hour. I'm here, man Shit.

Ryan:

I'm paying you a beer. I got some Bush Lights for you, z.

Javi:

Money. Man, Z Money. Shout out to the hats. Man, I'm a sponsor of this show. Man, it's nice in here. Man, I wish I could see. Man, it's real nice in here. Man, what do you want to talk about, Javier? What's been going on? I want to ask you some questions, man. Ask away, Ask away dude, because I know you know it's been a topic in previous podcasts. You know Ryan, you say he's low-tier white and you're top-tier white.

Ryan:

Correct.

Javi:

And you just got those eyes, man, you got those eyes like I'm white-white, you know, and Ryan gots to you know, I'm country-white.

Ryan:

I'm not country at all.

Javi:

I just want to hear your perspective on like life.

Ryan:

Your son, cuz I got like light eyes, like blue, green type eyes. What about my eyelashes? What do you think about them? I Get compliments on all the time shut the no, don't, you don't?

Ryan:

shut the fuck up. No, no, he does not.

Ryan:

They always say you have beautiful eyes, you have great eyelashes.

Javi:

Follow Kyle on Instagram. Man, he's going to show you those eyebrows.

Ryan:

Yeah, all right, Don't bring up my fucking. I got the fucking bushy eyebrows bro I didn't say eyebrows, motherfucker.

Javi:

Eyelashes.

Ryan:

Yeah, that's what I said. Same thing. Everybody says I look like a caveman from the side. What do?

Javi:

they compliment you on Ryan.

Ryan:

Nothing at all. They don't Nothing at all.

Javi:

Somebody in the comments, somebody somewhere, dm him or something. Give him a little confidence boost, man, please man. That's my buddy, ryan man, give him some confidence.

Ryan:

He just met today. You met probably an hour ago, dude. I met him in middle school, man, if anybody went to the middle school.

Javi:

I went to. Y'all know we know him man. No, nobody went to, he's the one who put hand sanitizer in the teacher's drink man.

Ryan:

Y'all know that. I think he'd get charged. That would be a fucking.

Ryan:

That would be assault.

Ryan:

I, I know somebody who did that. Get the fuck out of here. I mean, it was a female, it wasn't Ryan, but hey, wait, a student was the female.

Javi:

Yeah, nice, I don't think she watches, but I mean, if you do, she put it in there.

Ryan:

We're not putting her name out there. She put hand sanitizer in the teacher's drink.

Javi:

It's called ISS now. It used to be called suspension. Iss is in-school suspension, yeah, in-school suspension, yeah.

Ryan:

I've been there many times buddy.

Javi:

Been there a lot of times. Yeah you, they tell me you're a troublemaker man. How?

Ryan:

many times have you been to jail? I've never been to adult jail. I've been to Juvenile. I've been to juvie once for like two days Two days, two days.

Ryan:

I don't like how this guy's commandeering our podcast. He's like take it back dude, take it back. He's got his arm around me. He's got glasses on Listen man, he's been boring.

Ryan:

He's fucking Kyle up right now. I'm loving it. I'm loving this shit.

Javi:

The only thing I'm doing is visiting my older brother, so I'm chilling man.

Ryan:

For everybody that doesn't know, this is this is Eric's younger brother.

Javi:

I think we've covered that, and just to let anybody that's listening or watching this Eric has the best headphones In the studio.

Ryan:

I thought you were going to say Something different.

Ryan:

He gave me the worst headphones, javi.

Ryan:

I'm wearing your headphones.

Ryan:

I'm wearing your headphones. What?

Ryan:

I got the ones you gave Eric. You know what's funny. Don't talk shit. Though Carlos bought those.

Ryan:

He did buy those yeah, carlos is very proud. Don't talk shit, though. Carlos bought those. He did buy those.

javi:

Yeah, carlos is very proud.

Ryan:

He said they're awesome, dude Carlos is very proud of those headphones With these headphones.

Javi:

I can tell you got a family man. You're on a budget, bro. I love you though. I love you though, but I'm saying man dude these headphones.

Ryan:

This is a fucking disaster. Fucking nuts dude. You gotta bring it back man. No, no, no, no, no.

Ryan:

You say I'm fucking sporadic, I'm fucking loving this shit man.

Ryan:

I don't know how to reel this fucker in. Ryan, give it a shot.

Javi:

No like in all seriousness, you guys, I'm just chilling man, I'm just glad.

Ryan:

We just vibing, dude, we just vibing.

Javi:

I drove like two and a half hours to get here, man. Somebody almost hit my car. I'm just so glad to be here, man, Just chilling man.

Ryan:

Well, no, we're glad you're here First. I mean it's an honor, first guest ever on a podcast. So I mean, say something nice about all of us.

Javi:

I mean. I love you guys, man, I'll tune in every chance I get, as soon as the audio audio. The video drops, I'm in there, man. I'm subscribed to their YouTube, instagram, spotify. I downloaded Spotify for the first time ever Because of these guys, man. They're the best dude, they're the best.

Ryan:

We are the best.

Ryan:

We need this dude here every week man Every fucking week dude, it's hype man. We gotta get him like holding a sign out front, like they do for the fucking cash for gold, spinning the sign.

Javi:

Do you guys know that you have a Facebook fan page? I know you guys aren't on Facebook.

Ryan:

I'm on Facebook. No, we don't.

Javi:

No, I'm saying the podcast. You guys have a, somebody look it up.

Ryan:

They have a Newest lowest fan page. I saw it the other day. That is slander, somebody Slander.

Javi:

I can show you on my phone. I can.

Ryan:

Somebody look it up on Facebook, man. The only one that's gonna look it up is Eric.

Ryan:

Eric's gotta look it up.

Ryan:

Eric, do you believe him? I believe him, cause he probably made the fucking thing. No.

Javi:

I saw it on. I saw it the other day On Facebook. I was scrolling down and it said sponsored. I'm like, oh, hold on.

javi:

I know those guys Sponsored. He made the fucking thing. I'm like that's Mr.

Javi:

Kyle, I was all like and that's right.

Ryan:

Mr.

Javi:

Kyle, it's just the best thing ever that you guys are supporting this podcast. Man, it's the best thing ever, man.

Ryan:

So we don't have Goomba today. He, he's gone.

Ryan:

We have the opposite version of Goomba.

Ryan:

We have a taller skinnier Bowl cut version of Goomba. Stop Shout out the hats already.

Javi:

So Ryan is saying I have a bowl cut.

Ryan:

He does, he does. I haven't gotten my hair cut in like two, three months. And when I showed him my last haircut, no, no, nope, you know who you are. You said six months. The female you said six months.

Javi:

She called me daddy and everything but look.

Ryan:

Did she call you daddy or did she call you poppy?

Javi:

But the thing is he's a guy he's not supposed to be like. Oh, you look good, he's like dang bro. Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool. He showed me a picture. He paid $50 to get like a. You know, when you join the Marines, I've never, you know, in the movies that's called a crew cut. In the movies Crew cut they just shave them bald. He paid $50 for a Marine haircut and shout out to the Marines Much love and I appreciate you.

Ryan:

Hey, we obviously support the armed troops man. Hey shout out to America man. And for anybody wondering, do not shout out America.

Javi:

I'm shouting out America, we're in America, man.

Ryan:

We are. We are in America.

Javi:

And why not shout out America?

Ryan:

Because I don't believe you're from here.

Javi:

What he's from Colorado.

Ryan:

You came here.

Javi:

This podcast is recorded in Florida.

Ryan:

We're all Florida boys besides Kyle.

Javi:

I was born down the street and Kyle was born in like Colorado.

Ryan:

Yeah, you'd love it out there. Shout out to Colorado, man, we can shout out Colorado.

Javi:

The streets with the curbs.

Ryan:

We have curbs in Colorado.

Javi:

Ryan said he had curbs too, but they were dirt curbs yeah, I've seen his childhood home.

Ryan:

We have curbs in Colorado. Ryan said he had curbs too, but they were dirt curbs, dirt curbs. They were not dirt curbs yeah, I've seen.

Javi:

I've seen his His childhood home.

Ryan:

You know how many potholes I ran into in Colorado Dude.

Javi:

Zero. I busted my transmission On his street. Dude, do you believe this? This?

Ryan:

dude Is just like a pathological Fuck Compulsive lie. No, no, you guys, he's just lying I'm the biggest fan.

Javi:

We get it man so they were like hey, you know what buddy first mr kyle I thought he would run out of steam at some point. He was like he was like hey, buddy, I appreciate the love, I appreciate the support he gave me his autograph but I don't have your number, man, but I'm saying he took me to colorado.

Ryan:

It's beautiful out there, shout out to colorado. Everybody knows it's beautiful man this, this dude, ryan.

Javi:

I've known him since middle school man. He took me to the ghettoest place I've ever seen on earth somebody shot up my car.

Ryan:

Oh, my good somebody shot up my car right down the street from where ryan's from dude.

Javi:

I don't know what street we were. All I know is that I was ducking and swerving man. I had to get a new car. Dude Ryan took me to the grimiest place on earth. I don't know where it was in Atlanta, but shout out to Atlanta. That was fun.

Ryan:

That was super fun dude. This dude's tickling my fancy right now.

Ryan:

I'm baffled I this dude's tickling my fancy right now.

Ryan:

I'm baffled, I'm at a loss for words. I had no idea this is how it would turn out, bringing our very first guest in, when Eric said yo, my brother's coming up. Hey, you know what it is, though. We're about 20 minutes in.

Ryan:

We were sitting there chilling, drinking beers yesterday at the bar.

Ryan:

I could have, never I could have never fathomed this would be the outcome Of us inviting Eric's brother in.

Javi:

Dude, we were having a blast last night, dude.

Ryan:

Last night? What the fuck do you mean? Last night, we had to work today.

Javi:

We went to the bar last night.

Ryan:

This dude's fucking manic.

Javi:

What do you mean, dude, dude. Kyle asked the bartender for her number.

Ryan:

Did she give it to me?

Javi:

And she did.

Ryan:

Hell yeah, hell yeah.

Javi:

She's real pretty, real pretty, and I was so proud Dude.

Ryan:

This is, this is number one hype man. That's your hype man, right there, dude, I love it.

Javi:

What color was her hair? I think it was like it was blonde, but it kind of looked like fake blonde. What color were her eyes? Her eyes. I'm colorblind, bro.

Ryan:

Oh, that's right God damn it, they are all fucking colorblind. Why?

Ryan:

is your whole family fucking colorblind.

Javi:

What does he mean by they are all?

Ryan:

Yo, you're going to learn. That's Kyle's. He doesn't.

Javi:

Yep, yep, yep.

Ryan:

The fuck are all you guys colorblind they?

Javi:

them Shout out to Kyle he's a year older than me. Man, when's your birthday? It's in July. It's in July, january, february, march, seventh month. It's coming up.

javi:

It's coming up.

Ryan:

I'll be 26 this year 26 Yup 26 and what the fuck do I have to show for it, javi?

Javi:

I mean, you got a nice beard, dude. I wish I had a beard, appreciate it.

Ryan:

Yeah, yours is fucking terrible. Yours is fucking terrible.

Ryan:

Yours is fucking, I swear to God.

Javi:

And yours looks like if you shaved your pubes and then glued them onto your face. Well, Ryan shaves his beard every day just because he's afraid of what he'll grow Me. I embrace it, man. One day I'm going to have a full beard.

Ryan:

That is true, the only reason you shave your beard, and they're still going to hate on me.

Javi:

One day it's going to. You know, I know it grows out, it fills in. One day it'll grow out and they'll be like oh nice, beard dude Bro you're 24.

Ryan:

It's not happening.

Javi:

They're hating man, they're hating.

Ryan:

You've been hating since the moment you fucking got here.

Javi:

And Ryan right now is wearing what are those? Are those fake Jordans, these?

javi:

are dunks.

Javi:

They're dunks.

Ryan:

These are dunks Hold on hold on.

Javi:

No, they're official. They're official. These are real these are real.

Ryan:

He is right, though you do only.

Javi:

You want to see the belt. So hold on, Let me clear this up, man.

Ryan:

Clear it up, man.

Javi:

The first time I met Ryan man oh my God, back in the day in middle school man I borrowed one of my good buddies. His name is Johnny. I borrowed one of his sweaters. Man, my sweater just wasn't good man, it just wasn't it. So I borrowed one of his hoodies. A girl says Javier, you look, and I was like that's understandable. Hell, yeah, hell, yeah, hell, yeah, that's understandable.

Ryan:

I understand it, but look, I haven't heard that in years, dude. I have not heard that in years this sponsored hat.

Javi:

Real nice hat, man. Shout out to them again Again. I cannot shout them out enough, man.

Ryan:

What kind of pants are those, Javi? What kind of pants are those?

Javi:

Before he tries to change the subject. Man, listen, listen. Ryan walked the first day he met me, you can't stop him. He walked up to me with tags on his hat and tags on his jacket. He did. His shoes still had the wrapper on them. He taped them to the shoe.

Ryan:

It still had the crumpled up tissue tape on it he still had Inside of it.

Javi:

You know that I don't know if you guys ever shopped at JCPenney, but they have like a little white.

Ryan:

Hey, don't fucking hate on JCPenney. I thought they were closed down.

Javi:

Hold on, I'm not hating, no, I'm telling them the truth.

Ryan:

Oh no, I think they are closed down. It's TJ Maxx now. It's TJ Maxx.

Javi:

That white button thing, the ink, the ink. If you, he stole the pants from. Jcpen penny I've never met, but you know what man? I love him to death. Man he's. He's one of the greatest persons ever.

Ryan:

Man, I'm not lying about that yo I'm just gonna fucking get off the.

Javi:

I'm gonna let javi fucking solo cast javi no, no, no, no, no, man, this is your. This is your. You know your podcast. That's why you're sitting in the middle.

Ryan:

It seems like you tried to sit in the middle when we got back.

Ryan:

Dude he did put the fucking biggest motherfucker in the middle today. It seems like you tried to sit in the middle when we got back. That's fucked up, dude. You did put the fucking biggest motherfucker in the middle.

Ryan:

That's racist. That's actually sexist.

Javi:

I try to sit in the middle Sexist towards fat people. He said you better get your beep beep ASS out of the seat before I body slam you like I did Ryan the other day and the beep beep was bean burrito ass, exactly. He tried to sit me in the middle, you guys. But you know what man? We love people like Ryan man.

Ryan:

The less fortunate. I'm not even fucking talking over here. What?

Ryan:

the fuck the less fortunate. What the fuck does that have to do?

Javi:

I'm the biggest fan, but I met Kyle man. I met Kyle, you fell in love with Kyle.

Ryan:

Nah, he, just he, kyle you fell in love with Kyle Nah he just, he's just my biggest fan.

Ryan:

He don't even like the podcast.

Ryan:

You said, I was the coolest hey stop.

Javi:

So Ryan's buddy just left the shop. Stop, motherfucker. After podcast talk Let Kyle go first. Go ahead, kyle, go ahead. Well, I mean, this has been a shit show of an episode.

Ryan:

I like it. It's a shit show of an episode. They say it's all over, not just because you're here. We've had fucking technical difficulties, camera difficulties, ryan's over there, fucking I think he wants to wrestle you man.

Ryan:

What did I do?

Javi:

You're just staring at him with the fucking eyes staring at the bowl cut. Yeah, I'm just letting you know, kyle, this is not what you want. Kyle and ryan and I keep getting their names confused. It's like I just met them, but I've known them for years, bro, I'm I don't know why, but we just, we're just so close dude, I get confused. They're like brothers basically, so it's like you know they get me confused with my brothers, I get them confused.

Ryan:

Don't get confused with your brothers, javier.

Javi:

So, the camera died. We're having some technical difficulties. Off camera. Ryan said you and your brother are identical.

Ryan:

You are very similar to your older brother, Eric.

Javi:

And I've never heard anything more true, that's wild.

Ryan:

Your mom was pumping babies out Pumping babies.

Javi:

No One of my aunties she has-.

Ryan:

Did you show her all your girlfriends she?

Javi:

lives in Texas. I don't know how many kids she has. I want to say about 13. God damn.

Ryan:

My mom only has five right, but you and eric are only what a year apart hell.

Javi:

No, that's like three years, four years not three fucking years four years. He said how old is he? 26, 26, you, 24? I just turned 24, like a couple days ago so like two and a half years no, he's older than me, man.

javi:

Older than me by a lot. What'd you do for your birthday, Javi? For my birthday. Yeah, it just happened. What happened?

Javi:

I got real drunk with my cousin man.

Ryan:

You guys have so many fucking cousins. Nah man, yes, you do man.

Javi:

Shout out to my older cousin man. He bought me food that day drinks.

Ryan:

What'd you get? Chipotle? No man.

Ryan:

I got Burger King, oh my.

Ryan:

I forgot they don't have a Chipotle where?

Javi:

you're from man.

Ryan:

There they go hating again, you guys.

Javi:

Hey listen, man. They said there was a rumor we were about to get Wawa, but that didn't happen.

Ryan:

We got Taco Bell, but you got Taco Bell, but no Wawa in the town. No.

Javi:

Wawa, we barely. I mean, we got Walmart In between like Three towns Bro.

Ryan:

No, listen, listen, if you know Listen.

Javi:

If you know Burger King, you know it's good man.

Ryan:

They don't know.

javi:

Listen, listen, know burger king, you know it's good man?

Javi:

they don't know listen, listen, they're kyle grew up in like uh, let's say around like one point, no, like more than a quarter mil, back in like 1980s. What the fuck is this guy talking? About they bought it. His parents bought a house like a quarter mil, a little bit over a quarter mil.

Javi:

Ryan, you know he got a couple 20,000. Bro, we grew up in the dirt man, I'm talking about in the mud. But then when I was born, I got blessed man. They bought a house. I was like, wow, nice house. You didn't get blessed with good facial hair, I got blessed man, they bought a house, I was like wow, nice house.

Ryan:

You didn't get blessed with good facial hair, man. No bro. You didn't get blessed with good facial hair, no hair.

Javi:

Okay, let's be honest. Okay, Viewers, I don't know if you know, I don't know if they've let you know. Kyle, he lies about his age how old am I, motherfucker, dude he's, let's be nice.

Ryan:

He's almost 30.

Javi:

Over 30. I just turned, they say 24.

Ryan:

If I look almost 30, how?

Javi:

fucking old. Does Ryan look, Dude? I?

Ryan:

just turned 21. I think Javi has me beat you look like you're fucking 35.

Javi:

And Ryan, he's a 40 year old man, dude, Get the fuck out 40 year old virgin.

Ryan:

You know where I met Ryan.

Javi:

Let's keep it a buck, let's keep it a buck, let's keep it on it. You know where I met Ryan? Where. I met Ryan in a video game lobby.

Ryan:

Oh, that's technically true.

javi:

He claimed to be 16, 15 at the time, dude, I was like a 12-year-old kid dude.

Javi:

Where the fuck are you going with this?

Ryan:

Where the fuck are you going with this?

Ryan:

He said you're a predator on the video game.

Javi:

He's 40 years old, bro.

Ryan:

You're trying to get the young snares.

Javi:

But but, bro, you're trying to get the young snooze, but but dudes. He has some of the nicest tattoos you've ever seen. Man, Mm-hmm, Mm-hmm. You know he actually inspired one of my tattoos that I have right here.

Ryan:

Are you going to show Dude, I can't, because my hoodie won't go up that If I can't.

Javi:

I can't Because my hoodie Won't go up. That If I would, I could.

Ryan:

You can take your arm Out of your hoodie.

Javi:

I don't want to Take off my shirt. You know it might be too.

Ryan:

Yeah, it might age restrict the video. It might be too Explicit for YouTube. Yeah, it might age restrict it.

Javi:

But I got an Upside down Kraus, kraus.

javi:

With Crouse.

Javi:

With a basketball on it.

javi:

I have never played.

Ryan:

I have never played For a basketball team Javi Never.

Javi:

Fuck you, dude.

javi:

Motherfucker oh my god that.

Ryan:

That Burger King that almost Sent me over the edge Bro. That almost Sent me over. I'm not hating on Burger King, listen, listen. I was on the phone with Eric. He was back home In y'all's hometown. I said, oh, what are you doing tonight? He said we're going to go hang out at Burger King. We're going to go sit inside. Dude, it's the luxury.

Javi:

They changed the rules. You can't chill at McDonald's more than like 30 minutes, dude, I used to spend hours at McDonald's. I hey, I'm chilling at McDonald's today, come over here You're chilling at McDonald's or MacDonald's. Dude, whatever. Whatever gets them there bro.

Ryan:

Yeah, you guys are fucking loitering.

Javi:

Dude? No, but I used to buy a soda. I used to buy a soda.

Ryan:

Bro, if I was walking up to the door and I saw you through the glass sitting there, I'm not going in.

Javi:

Dude, I'm like 12 years old, it's a kid.

Ryan:

You scare me School shooter.

Javi:

I got enough for a.

Ryan:

No, for real Mexicans.

Javi:

don't shoot schools For a soda If there was somebody shooting up the school. It's not Mexican I would be the one to be standing in front of the bullet for you.

Ryan:

Shut the why. You don't think so. I'm saying no. I'm not saying I don't believe you, I'm saying why.

Javi:

Because, man, that's how much I'm a fan of you and how much I love this stuff. Okay, y'all want to get Hold on, let's get deep. Let's get deep, let's lower it down, let's lower it down, let's lower it down. Okay, so check this out.

Ryan:

Like in your low rider eh.

Javi:

That's racist. But check this out. No, this is a true fact. This is true fact. They're not ready for this, y'all guys. All right true true, About a year ago, I don't even know how long ago it was. You know I'm home alone. I'm taking a shower. My little sister's over here, you know, in the room doing.

Ryan:

Yo, what the fuck are you doing your little sister's in the shower with you?

Javi:

No, I'm saying I'm in the shower, my little sister's in her room.

Ryan:

A different room? Yeah, she's in her room.

Javi:

All right, you got to clarify I get a phone call, you know, and usually when my sisters are calling, they're like hey, you know, the door's locked, open the door and I'm like, oh, you know what, okay, okay, I'm there, I'm there, I'm there, hold on, hold on, just give me two seconds. I'm out of the shower. This time, you know, I'm like my little sister's out of the house, locked out. You know what, let me just wait a little bit. And you ran out naked.

Ryan:

No, you ran out naked.

Javi:

Look, check this out. I'm like you know what, let me just chill for a little bit. Hey, man, pick up the phone. My little sister's crying. Imagine if you have a little sister, little brother, whatever, crying, you know, crying, you know. And it's like, hey, somebody's in the house. So you know my, you know, instinct is just like get out and you know, go see what's going on. I'm the only like you know, so I go out. You know, like instinct is turn off the light as soon as I open the door. Look left, look right, look left. Nobody's there, nobody's there. There's a random man, like a foot two, two feet taller than me, bro, like just sitting there claiming he lives there. I'm like what? I'm like, bro, you better get out of the house. He comes up to me and you know me like I've slapped box plenty of people, I've got my. You know I bled.

Javi:

You know my, my cousin like hit me in the liver. I dropped the floor. I'm tasting blood in my mouth, but I've never gotten into like a fight, like oh, you know, like you know we're fighting, you know. So it's like damn. Like I hope my punches hurt, you know. As soon as you know I went like this. You know I'm not going to hit you, whatever, whatever. I kept it cool for my fist to hit him. He dropped like a noodle.

Ryan:

You know what's crazy? This is actually a true story.

Ryan:

I have heard this story before.

Javi:

I'm naked bro.

Ryan:

And everybody you know, he got like really real for like two seconds.

Javi:

People laughing like oh, you were naked, whatever, bro, that's my little sister. Bro, like you're wilding, bro, like what? Like I don't care if I'm fully clothed and full armor, bulletproof. No, I'm out there. Bro You're wilding, so I go out there, get them out of the house. You know, I usually have, like you know, that iron. You know, but I didn't have it, bro, I didn't have it.

Ryan:

You got the heat, you got the blicky.

Javi:

I would have caught, and you know everybody in my family is like good thing you didn't. No, they didn't say that. My oldest brother said dude, don't you think that would have scared your sister more if you caught a body that day than you know just getting them out of the house? Yeah, dude.

Ryan:

That's why you would take a bullet for Ryan. That's why I would take a bullet for you. He literally, just out of nowhere, just said the realest story of all time Got super deep, super personal. They want to get deep.

Javi:

That's real and that's why I'm.

Ryan:

That's why he'd take a bullet for Ryan.

Javi:

That's why I'm saying I met Ryan. He claimed he was like 15, 16, 14. Bro, he was a 40-year-old man.

Ryan:

You'd body, his stepdad, for him I don't have I don't have a stepdad. You'd body, his mom's boyfriend for him.

Ryan:

My mom doesn't have a boyfriend.

Ryan:

Because he can't take him out by himself. You'd body him, for him, I'd body him Before.

Javi:

I would even step into that.

Ryan:

Put the mic on your fucking mouth.

Javi:

Why haven't you stepped up for him? If he had to kick you at home, why haven't you stepped up for him? You're big Kyle man.

Ryan:

I'm big man, Mr Kyle.

Javi:

Why haven't you stepped up for your buddy bro that? Why haven't you stepped up for your?

Ryan:

buddy bro. That's the real question. Do you not like him?

Ryan:

Dude Ryan is loving every second of this. I'm loving this shit, dude. I am loving it.

Ryan:

Keep it pumping, javi, keep it going. Buddy, keep it going. Ryan thinks I'm in a love triangle, a little position I can't get myself out of. You think I'm on my back foot.

Ryan:

He's getting up your sleeve right now.

Javi:

Javier puts me on my back foot. He's getting up your sleeve right now. Listen, listen, you guys.

Ryan:

We'll listen to you.

Javi:

Javier, listen you guys. So I'm here just hanging out visiting my buddies.

Ryan:

For some reason they keep saying I'm taking over the podcast.

Javi:

Javier, keep it rolling, buddy, keep it rolling, I'm so enthusiastic about this podcast and you know everything they do Shout out to the sponsors. I hope I get to sponsor them one day with a better camera.

Ryan:

We do need a better Apparently, we need a better camera.

Javi:

Fuck. And this is all jokes, Don't think no?

Ryan:

literally everything.

Javi:

Javier has said is true. Don't take anything serious 100% serious.

Ryan:

He believes everything he said.

Ryan:

The only thing he's joking about is his fucking bowl cut.

Ryan:

You are the most truthful guy I've ever heard. I've ever met what you never told a lie.

Ryan:

Javi, don't believe it. He's gaslighting you right now. Dude you just turned 30.

Javi:

How am I? The realest person you ever met. That's impossible, bro. You met like a thousand people. Like times ten.

javi:

There's like three games playing right now.

Javi:

That's fucking awesome. Hey, shout out to anyone who's listening out there. Yeah, because this is a goddamn shit.

Ryan:

show man If somebody they're listening to everything.

Javi:

I don't think I see them on the camera. Shout out Carlos. Shout out Carlos. I don't think you look like a Goomba. They do.

Ryan:

I think you look great. Wait, wait, wait, wait wait. I think, Carlos will very much appreciate this episode. You agreed 100% that he looks like a Goomba.

Javi:

Who.

Ryan:

You, javi, javi XO. No, no, add me on Xbox. It is funny. It kind of seems like a racial thing, like every single guest we'll ever have Is just going to be a Mexican dude.

Javi:

To replace Carlos.

Ryan:

It's just going to be another Mexican dude Dude. We could literally Just like Just have a different Mexican dude In here every week. That'd be awesome. That'd be awesome. So, and we just call him Carlos every week.

Javi:

They visited a Mexican store in my hometown, not too long ago.

Ryan:

I did, I did. I haven't been there.

Javi:

They kept calling everybody in that store my name. They kept saying hey, where you at Like you know they called me. They're like oh, I'm in this aisle, I'm in this aisle. They went to that aisle and I was in that aisle.

Ryan:

I don't think that store has aisles.

Javi:

They went to that aisle and I was in that aisle I don't think that store has aisles. They ran, they do, there he goes again. They went up to the shortest brownest guy that does not speak English, not aisle numbers, there they go.

Ryan:

How fucking from where you're from? Why is everybody so fucking small out there? Because you guys are not small. Hold on hold on.

Javi:

Let let me clarify something sure um, they are not where way where I am from. I am american. I was born in florida.

Javi:

They sure from other countries. There he goes again. So they are from other countries, you know, uh, they got a work visa to work. Whatever job harvesting whatever, whatever pays they got a visa to work and that's why you see them around in the buses. They're working, man, they're just working. And Kyle thinks that everybody that has my skin tone or just the slightest bit darker is from Guatemala. Man, I don't know why.

Ryan:

I don't think he thinks it's from Guatemala, that's probably Is Guatemala in Mexico.

Javi:

Listen, man, you heard it here first.

Ryan:

At the newest Lowe's podcast, at the newest Lowe's buddy, he said a statement and you know, at the newest Lowe's podcast, at the newest Lowe's buddy.

Javi:

He he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he. Mexican American.

Ryan:

They say that one first, mexican American.

Ryan:

Mexican American. I will agree with that.

Javi:

Listen man, what about?

Ryan:

a. What about a black guy, you mean, who was born in Brooklyn? You say African American. Listen, mr Kyle, I'm white, white.

Javi:

Mr.

javi:

Ryan.

Ryan:

I'm American American.

Javi:

When we? I don't know, I know you said you went to school In Colorado.

Ryan:

Kyle, I did, I did.

Javi:

But when us you know, I did, I did. But when us you know, floridians take a test known as the F cap.

Ryan:

It was a C cap.

javi:

for me C cap.

Ryan:

ASAP, asap, asap, rocky. Hey, jinx, you owe me a fucking dick suck. There he goes again.

Javi:

Listen man, there he goes again.

Ryan:

Listen man, they make you sign a thing if you're African-American.

Javi:

Hispanic.

Ryan:

Yeah, it's on every application ever for anything.

Javi:

Javi, javi, they made a sign that we are white.

Ryan:

Javi, how did you do on those FCAT tests?

Javi:

I passed them.

Ryan:

I definitely did better than you, ryan. Wait, yeah, did you graduate high school, javi? Oh yeah, I don't believe this.

Javi:

I graduated valid Victorian bro.

Ryan:

No, you did not yes, I did. He said valid Victorian. Where's the video?

Javi:

Somewhere in my phone. I'll show it to you right off stream dude.

Ryan:

Where you did you graduate?

Ryan:

Off stream hey, shout out to chat. Shout out chat W chat. Valid retard Dictorian True story Fact.

Javi:

Check this, ryan. Didn't you get hard Off of Like out of 10th grade Because you had like Illegal substances In?

Ryan:

Your book bag Substances no 9th grade 9th grade.

Javi:

No, it was 9th grade.

Ryan:

No.

Javi:

I don't know. He says he's 21. He's 40.

Ryan:

We don't know what this guy is, what the fuck is going on here Again. I'm not 40. I'm older than you by like nine months 40. So you're 39 if I'm 40.

Javi:

Hell. No, you look like you're 39.

Ryan:

Dude, you look like you're 39. Dude, you look like you're like you look like you're retarded, inbred Mexican Theo Vaughn.

Javi:

Hold on, hold on, hold on Did Theo, Did he just say?

Ryan:

Theo Vaughn he did Bro.

Javi:

Hey Listen, man, hold on, hold on. He said Theo Vaughn, let's get ignorant right here.

Ryan:

Bro, this man thinks the camera loves him. He keeps looking.

Javi:

I have not been ignorant once in this podcast. Let's get ignorant. Let's get ignorant Theo Vaughn and bread Dude. You look like Theo Vaughn had a kid Bread with them, right oh what does that mean?

Ryan:

Incest, incest, incest.

javi:

I just called you incest.

Ryan:

And then slept with Mr Kyle and then and then what and then got thrown in a dumpster, left there for a long time.

Javi:

And then Graduated.

Ryan:

Let's see where he goes with this.

Javi:

From juvenile detention. So let's bring it back to that. Let's bring it back to that, back to what let's bring it back to that, back to what let's bring it back to that Back to what. I don't know if this was recorded or not. Ryan said that he went to juvenile detention. I did. You were only in there for like a day, right?

Ryan:

Javi, I have the picture if you want to see it.

Javi:

They shoved something like a broomstick. Hey, man, he was violated in there. Man, he was violated in there. Man, he was violated.

Ryan:

Sexually. Where do you want this fucking conversation to go is my only question.

Javi:

I just want you to admit.

Ryan:

Do not say that word.

Javi:

We cannot say that word anymore that you got violated, dude.

Ryan:

I did not get violated. I have not got violated.

Javi:

So there was no broomstick? No, and you weren't in juvie.

Ryan:

I was in juvie, but there was no broomstick, so he was in juvie. I was in juvie, yeah.

Javi:

And there was no one named Kelsey. Who the? What the fuck? That's a chick's name, no.

Ryan:

Travis Kelsey, yeah.

Ryan:

C-E-L-S-E.

Javi:

Hold on, hold on. Okay, let's keep it. A buck man.

Ryan:

What do you mean? Keep it a buck, let's keep it 100. You're keeping it negative 10 bucks. What?

Ryan:

What Kyle just said. That's racist. You're saying he don't make no money because he's Mexican.

Ryan:

He said we're going to keep it a buck. I said we're 10 bucks Right, just because he's Mexican.

javi:

Oh my.

Ryan:

See what I'm saying this is fucked, this is fucked Now it's on you Now.

Ryan:

It's four games, amen.

Javi:

So what we?

Ryan:

want to say we're playing 4D chess right now, so what?

Javi:

we want to say from all of us here man-.

Ryan:

Yeah, shout out everybody. Just thank you, man, thank you, we do. We do Dude, if anybody listens to this and gets all the way through it, jesus Christ.

Ryan:

It's going to be gnarly.

Javi:

Javi he's going to listen to this shit on repeat every single day of the week. I'm going to get all through this dude.

Ryan:

You need to say a couple rosaries and go to confession after this man.

Javi:

Is it because I'm brown that you think I'm Catholic? Let's not, dare man.

Ryan:

I'm Catholic. You come from a Catholic country.

Javi:

I'm Catholic, yeah, but I grew up in a Catholic church. But you got red hair bro.

Ryan:

I'm not you, I'm not a fucking ginger.

Javi:

I didn't say that.

Ryan:

Having red hair is the ginger.

Javi:

Who.

Ryan:

Is there an owl in the room? Who?

Javi:

Just because Kyle called you, that Doesn't mean I'm saying that you have you just said it.

javi:

What do you?

Javi:

mean I'm just saying you have red hair dude.

Ryan:

I don't have red hair and you I got luscious brown hair.

Javi:

So so your, your Jesus piece your cross that you have Doesn't signify you didn't say that that you're Christian. Did you not invite me to this Tomorrow? It's what is no. Tomorrow it's Sunday. He invited me to church Sunday and I asked him what kind of church is it?

Ryan:

The Sabbath.

Javi:

I'm not really into church. He said it's a Christian and he took out his chain and then for some reason he took out another chain and he just kissed the letter D, dude.

Ryan:

It's a Christian. He just goes to a dude's house who's named Christian and sucks his dick. He gets baptized Bye Christian.

Javi:

He gets baptized.

Ryan:

By Christian. You got baptized. I did get baptized.

Javi:

Good call by Christian Catholic, by Christian Catholic.

javi:

Catholic.

Javi:

Catholic's dude.

Ryan:

I got baptized, first communion, and then confirmed in the Catholic church. Oh, confirmation, take a bathroom break.

Ryan:

We only have eight minutes left, motherfucker. Well, let's keep it going.

javi:

Put your headphones back on Javi.

Ryan:

This is such a motherfucking shit show.

Ryan:

You can go over here, you can go. No, dude, I got to go to the restroom.

Javi:

Go ahead, go ahead. You can leave if you want.

Ryan:

Does your little dirt dick hurt that bad.

Ryan:

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on, I don't want to go there. Do Mexicans have big penises? Avi.

Javi:

Bro, listen, man. I'm just letting you know right now, man, what man, I'm not going to say too much, but for my birthday I was sending a lot of messages. You know, have a wonderful day, have a wonderful birthday. You know, you know, and you know you got the biggest. You know, whatever.

Ryan:

Shut the fuck up let's biggest piece.

Javi:

Hey man, listen, let's not get into that, let's not get into that. I'd like to Okay, okay Again, let's keep it about. So, Ryan, when I got here, he said that you know, obviously it's been recorded that you know and it's been documented that he paid $700, you know, to do a little bit of bar. This is such a stupid fucking podcast.

javi:

It was the day before, it was the day before yesterday. We went out.

Ryan:

You know, we went to the gentleman's club.

Javi:

You know we're gentlemen. So you know we went out and ryan, you know, had this you know I don't want to behemoth man and you know she, she got excited. She saw, saw Ryan. You know Shout out to my boy Ryan. You know they said he's a good-looking guy. She jumped. She might have injured one of his body parts. He had to go to the doctor. We don't know if it's going to work again, so I really don't think you want to take it there.

Ryan:

It's so funny because it's a lie, but there is some truth to what?

Javi:

he's saying he put cream on his stuff before we started the podcast.

Ryan:

That's the truth.

Javi:

And I said, Ryan, if you need me to take you to the hospital, I'm right here.

Ryan:

You did have to cream your dick. Let's keep it a buck, man. Let's keep it a buck. You burnt it, it got burnt. It didn't get broken. It got burnt. It didn't get broken, it got burnt.

Ryan:

It didn't get burnt like how you guys are making it seem like it got burnt.

Javi:

All right, so okay. Okay, I wasn't going to take it there. Kyle wants to back him up Again. Let's keep it a buck. Kyle, you know after he got that lap dance from the drag, you know oh my god, he started.

Ryan:

You know, it was like a metamorphosis man.

Javi:

He started, you know, morphing man, and he came up to me, you know, saying all kinds of crazy stuff and I was like whoa kyle, like you know me, buddy, like come on you know me, this dude's got a fucking 30 second memory span god barbie he's like, hey, r you ever had a lap dance by a man? And you know, Ryan being the curious guy, he was like no, buddy, I haven't. So Kyle went and bop.

Ryan:

What the fuck is going on here. Let's keep it a buck Everybody's going to. You're fucked, Javi. You're so fucked, Javi. You're so fucked. I didn't know where that was going. I didn't know where that was going either.

Javi:

You're fucked they know, dude, they know, they know.

Ryan:

It did not go where I thought it was going to.

Javi:

It's okay, dude, there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that.

Ryan:

Don't put us in this position because we obviously can't say yes, there is something wrong with that. I'm a red-blooded American, I bleed red, white and blue, you motherfuckers are. So what is going on?

Ryan:

You guys are so fucked. This is fucked. What do you think, ryan? This is fucked. What do you? This is fucked. This is fucked. What do you think, ryan? This is fucked. Try to bring the episode to a closer. Well, obviously, don't believe a fucking word that Javi says. I can just start out with that. He's all over the fucking place, kyle. What do you got to say, buddy?

Ryan:

I want to let Javier close this out. No, no, no. This has obviously been the Javier episode. No, no, no, no, wait, hold on. I have never seen Kyle this baffled before in my entire life. He just said I jumped on your dick and broke it.

Ryan:

We obviously know that's not fucking true who.

javi:

Oh okay.

Ryan:

Here we go. Now you fucking, oh my God. And now you're baffled. My boys are gonna think I'm gay Dude.

Ryan:

They're gonna think I'm gay Dude.

Javi:

And there's nothing wrong with that. I'm not gay, javi.

Ryan:

Obviously there's nothing wrong with that For YouTube purposes. Whoever is out there, we can't we legally can't say nowadays that there is something wrong with being gay. That's a hate crime.

Javi:

Dude, there's nothing wrong with that, it's okay.

Ryan:

There's nothing wrong with that, it's okay.

Ryan:

There's nothing wrong with that, I think Javi's gay.

Javi:

Who.

Ryan:

You who who Listen man, he loves the camera, he fucking loves the fucking camera.

Ryan:

Yo we created a demon, just bringing him on here. Look at him. He's staring right in the fucking camera.

Javi:

Listen, man. All I know is that this has been one of the greatest episodes there ever been.

Ryan:

No, it's just been one of the greatest experiences.

Javi:

Of your life. You fucking love it here man, and Kyle is one of the most Genuine you know persons I've ever met.

Ryan:

Genuine people, not persons.

Javi:

Shout out to Ryan, you know. For what we got real ignorant here and I just want to shout him out, man, and you know if you can see that?

Ryan:

Oh my God, it's all Shout that out man. It's all for the camera. Shout that out, man, it's all for the fucking you, this man's a self-promo.

Javi:

And shout out to Carlos man. This man's a self promo, and shout out to Shout out to Carlos man.

Ryan:

Yo Do shout out, carlos.

Javi:

Without, without Carlos, I wouldn't be here, man, because, to be honest, carlos kicked in the door For brown people To be on podcast.

Ryan:

Oh For, be on Podcast or palcast.

Javi:

Whichever one you agree with, buddy, but look, listen, man, this has been a great episode.

Ryan:

Fucking god dude.

Javi:

We have got to go. Kyle has to use the restroom. Ryan is itching for another lap dance from you know, and you know, that's just been it, man. Shout out to Newest Lowe's fans hey, one more thing before.

Ryan:

I go oh my.

Javi:

God dude. Newest Lowe's does not have an official Facebook page, but they do have a fan page, so follow that. Make sure you tune in and again if you search us up on YouTube, it's Newest Lowe's Without a Space. Thank you so much for listening.

Ryan:

Great promo surrounded by a bunch of bullshit.

Ryan:

By a bunch of fuckery Fuck you, we will.

Ryan:

This was Officially you might hear this out of sync, out of order, but if this comes out, this is the very first recording without Carlos. We miss him. We miss him dearly I wish he was here.

Ryan:

Miss him dearly.

Ryan:

This dude fucking sucks. Carlos is way better when he just sits there and doesn't talk much.

Javi:

Shout out Carlos, man, I miss you, buddy, man, I miss you, buddy.

Ryan:

But yeah, the Goomba, this is what we have to deal with when you're not here. So it's been the newest Lowe's Goodbye.

javi:

Goodbye.