Newest Lows

Get ready to laugh, cringe, and question the life choices of Kyle, Ryan, and Carlos as they share their most embarrassing, ridiculous, and downright stupid stories on Newest Lows! Join these three friends as they dive into the depths of their own ineptitude, and emerge with a newfound appreciation for the absurdity of life. New episodes released every Monday!

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Newest Lows

Episode 10: Time to celebrate

June 10, 2024 • Newest Lows • Episode 10

0:00 | 1:08:55

Laughs continue as we recount our vibrant experiences in Daytona Beach, compare fast food joints to grocery stores, and passionately debate the merits of romantic comedies. The conversation gets unexpectedly deep with discussions on life insurance and last-day-on-earth plans, sprinkled with our usual humor. From reminiscing about movies like "Jumanji" to critiquing Wiz Khalifa's music career, we leave no stone unturned. Tune in for an unpredictable blend of humor, controversy, and heartfelt moments that promise to keep you entertained from start to finish.

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Carlos 0:08

who are you talking about? Drake all right, dude, no one drake is not listening to you. I ain't listening to him. Yeah, I hear him now yeah, I'm sure he's hurting.

Kyle 0:19

Whatever happened to that fucking beef drake? Just bowed out he's not he's not doing it anymore he got too personal fucker. Well, yeah, he's a pedophile and he knew it. So now, he was a pedophile, yeah do you think his next album is gonna be big? No I think it is. It's gonna be soft drake is undeniable. You think it's gonna be big. What if it's big and soft? Fuck, fuck, drake, fuck drake. Thank you. Episode 10.

Carlos 0:44

Episode 10 we made it boys, we made a celebration yeah, 10 weeks in a row how do we make it this far?

Kyle 0:50

I thought we're gonna fucking. We probably should have quit after a couple weeks no, hell, no, what that what that lady said was that tiktok. That that lady said uh, like we like to have a podcast. You need to have like credentials you need permits and shit.

Carlos 1:07

What lady some someone posted something on tiktok or something like you should need permits and everything comments it under a post saying that we need permits to post the pod.

Erick 1:15

I think it was um, it was a post with leilani and you, you, um, you too, and so she's just saying. She said um, I, I wish podcasts had to. You had to have like a license and a major tax, like something.

Ryan 1:30

I don't know what she was saying. She can go. She can go, suck a fat dick.

Kyle 1:34

Yeah, suck Ryan's dick if you hear this.

Ryan 1:36

She's probably fat and obese, so no, I don't want that Is that what you think.

Carlos 1:39

She's mad Probably. She has other things she's mad about Apparently.

Kyle 1:43

I heard Volunteer. She's mad. Probably she has other things she's mad about, apparently. I heard volunteer. I was watching. There's a TikTok of like the fucking. It is Pride Month. God bless, shout out the Prides, thank you. I saw a video about those people, those fucking wild ones who celebrate this month, and it was a fucking gargantuan woman in the driving and a little fem boy next to her and he's. They're both talking about how actively like Lou trying to lose weight is not body positive.

Carlos 2:14

It's offensive.

Kyle 2:15

It's offensive to to actively try and lose weight.

Ryan 2:21

What is that? I don't fuck.

Kyle 2:23

How do you feel about that shit Right?

Ryan 2:26

Mental illness.

Kyle 2:27

Yeah.

Ryan 2:27

You think?

Kyle 2:28

so you don't like a nice fucking big bitch with a buzz cut?

Ryan 2:32

With a buzz cut.

Kyle 2:33

Yeah, like brown, like dyed pink and purple, buzz cut.

Ryan 2:36

Oh God.

Kyle 2:37

Who voted for Joe Biden. Is that your style?

Ryan 2:39

That kind of looks like a Dennis Rodman from back in the day. Sure With the hair color.

Carlos 2:42

Sure, I think I would prefer a Dennis Rodman cut over that.

Ryan 2:48

I don't know, I don't like it, like with the slick back hair on the side.

Kyle 2:51

Those people are fucking nuts and God bless it is Pride Month. We have to subject kids and young people to dudes, literally butt fucking in a parade.

Carlos 3:06

Okay, dude, I thought it was fucking God. Dude, what are you watching?

Kyle 3:09

Have you seen clips of the New York Pride Parade?

Carlos 3:12

No, that's not something that I'm actually looking for.

Kyle 3:14

There's dudes, dicks, hanging out swinging around. I don't know if they actually butt fuck right on there, but they get close, man. They're touching the door. They're about to breach. They're about to breach. They're going to breach pretty soon.

Ryan 3:28

Well, Carlos, what the fuck are you doing tomorrow? Oh yeah, you're going to Pride thing tomorrow.

Carlos 3:32

I am going to a gay 5K.

Kyle 3:35

Nice. Is it marketed as gay 5K? No, that's just.

Carlos 3:40

Those are the two words I put together.

Ryan 3:41

Say what is it? Is it Pride 5K, yeah, something like that. I don't really know the technicalities of it LGBTQ XYZ plus pride.

Carlos 3:48

But I'm going, but not because I'm gay.

Ryan 3:51

Not voluntarily. What did you say this morning? You said I'm going to get drunk, I'm going to support Kyle. I'm not there.

Kyle 3:58

Kyle is running in the 5K I? I was like I'll be there for you, bud, I will not be there. No, dude, that shit's fucking. I don't know. I can't handle those fucking people.

Carlos 4:08

It's probably going to be very flamboyant.

Ryan 4:11

That is the thing You're going to fit right in, Dude? When are you going to fit right in?

Kyle 4:15

Well, because they officially added a couple more letters to LGBTQ. It's like LGBTQRS or some weird shit. What the fuck does that mean? I don't think those are the right letters, but they added two more.

Carlos 4:28

How many more letters can you add?

Kyle 4:29

That's what I'm saying. They got fucking letters for everything.

Carlos 4:32

That is a long answer.

Kyle 4:33

I was like Kyle, what.

Erick 4:34

I thought you were a different person, oh fuck.

Ryan 4:37

Yeah, I thought you were a part of the community. No, no, no Fuck that it's not a new Kyle. I can't deal with a new Kyle.

Kyle 4:42

I did say I fucking respect those people. Good on you.

Carlos 4:46

Respectively, Kyle is not the same that he was last week.

Kyle 4:49

You guys ever dry heaved in your mouth? Yeah, yeah, that's how I feel.

Ryan 4:54

Kyle, your favorite thing to do is to categorize people.

Kyle 4:56

Categorize people, you do put people in a group Most of the times, it's true. I look at stats, I look at the spreadsheets.

Ryan 5:10

I do the calculations, I run the schematics. You're right on the schematics. What do I always say? You should have been a coach, connoisseur I run the schematics.

Carlos 5:16

The first time ryan called you a connoisseur. It made sense, but it didn't.

Kyle 5:19

But now it truly does make sense I'm a man of many facets, a master or a. What is that saying? You're a. Jack of all trades, but a master of none.

Carlos 5:30

Yeah.

Kyle 5:31

Hell yeah.

Ryan 5:32

You're Jack of all. You are Jack of all, dude.

Kyle 5:36

Yeah, fuck dude. When the fuck did they get? When did they get a full month?

Ryan 5:42

Ryan, ryan. Why can't I have a month dedicated to myself?

Kyle 5:45

That's what I'm saying. What happened to us?

Ryan 5:47

They always say free the nips.

Carlos 5:50

There is a mental awareness month already. Why?

Ryan 5:53

do I need a mental awareness month?

Kyle 5:57

That month and pride month should be the same month.

Ryan 6:00

You want to hear some shit? I just went to Publix before I got here. Right there's a bitch in a handicapped spot with a handicap placard, Normal as hell In Scrubs. She was a doctor. Hell yeah, why didn't you confront her? I was about to wheel the window down and be like how the fuck did you get that placard? Where can I get one she got. Can't she just give it to?

Carlos 6:17

herself.

Ryan 6:17

That's what I'm saying, damn, she beat the system.

Kyle 6:19

No, it's like where the fuck is our month, Ryan Month? For what Whites?

Carlos 6:31

Whites White month of whites. It is Juneteenth.

Ryan 6:34

You know what they got? Pride Month. They have Black History Month. Damn. They hate white people.

Kyle 6:39

Mexican Heritage Month.

Erick 6:41

Whoa man.

Carlos 6:48

What do you mean? Isn't july 4th? Enough for you to that's one day that's independence day, that's it.

Kyle 6:50

That's all. You need no dude, are you? We celebrate your guys independence too, isn't that? What single fucking de mayo is it's still for the?

Ryan 6:55

whites they said the white the white people I do

Kyle 6:58

not celebrate single de mayo like everyone's like yeah, but you don't celebrate anything no I don't you're like gonna fucking, your's going to be a fucking Jehovah's Witness.

Carlos 7:07

You guys aren't going to celebrate anything. If you don't hold that expectation from the beginning, then you don't have to do it Right, but you're going to give your baby good stuff, christmas gifts and Thanksgiving gifts and all that. Why do you guys always bring up my daughter.

Ryan 7:19

Yeah you get, I don't get shit.

Kyle 7:21

I don't know. We've talked about this. When we bring up your daughter, none of us have a fucking baby. You're the only one.

Carlos 7:26

I'm the only one that has a responsibility, oh God.

Erick 7:29

Do you think these two are ready for a kid Hell?

Kyle 7:31

no, which one more than the other one?

Ryan 7:34

Not you at all, between you two.

Carlos 7:41

Kyle, not you at all. If both some kind of puss, Well cause I wouldn't be there.

Kyle 7:44

That's not in the question. We already, we, we wake up tomorrow and we both have a baby.

Carlos 7:49

I feel like who's going to raise it? I feel like Ryan will do pretty good with the child. It will be his. He might drag it along a couple of times, might leave it in the car, maybe once or twice. No, he's chicken and rice Hell no, you'll feed it.

Ryan 8:02

You'll feed it, you'll feed it, you'll make sure it gets fed.

Erick 8:04

I got a niece and a nephew.

Carlos 8:06

Do you think that that child would be fed before you? Yeah, if you can't afford anything else, who goes?

Erick 8:10

first your dogs or the baby? My dogs, wait, no, no, I thought you said my dogs or me.

Carlos 8:14

No got food. That's what I'm saying. You're telling me you'll think he's going to be a better dad than I am.

Ryan 8:18

You didn't let me finish.

Carlos 8:26

I do I do 100,000% I feel like Kyle will be a nurturer. He cries, he pats him on the back Kyle's going to be, like Kevin, I breastfeed him.

Ryan 8:36

Kyle's going to be like Kevin Gates. Kevin Gates, the reason he lost weight is because he was holding his boy's baby and it was sucking on his tit trying to get milk out of it.

Kyle 8:43

That's not okay. What the fuck are you talking about?

Carlos 8:48

Kevin Gates lost weight doing that. Kevin Gates is a different kind of specimen, though he swears that he's God.

Kyle 8:56

That dude's a monster too. You see how big he fucking is.

Ryan 8:58

That's why he's in the gym now.

Kevin Gates

Erick 9:00

He's a big fucker, Kevin Gates, if you hear this we'd like to have you.

Carlos 9:03

He said that he jumped a battery by touching both of the positive and negative with his hands.

Ryan 9:09

Yeah, and he, and he said. He said, if I'm lying, you can kill my kids right now he said that like god damn, no, I swear.

Carlos 9:15

And they were like it's not that serious he's like no, no, no, kill my kids right now kill my kids I don't think he's a great dad.

Ryan 9:21

No no, why no?

Kyle 9:24

Why do rappers always have 24 fucking kids?

Carlos 9:27

You know why.

Ryan 9:28

How many?

Kyle 9:28

kids does Nick Cannon have now?

Ryan 9:30

13. God damn, he's a great father. 13. I think Youngboy has like 15. Youngboy has a fuckload Like 14 or 15.

Kyle 9:36

Continue though Too many kids Continue. Who would be better? I need a decisive answer right now. I think that Kyle would be better.

Carlos 9:43

Thank, you, thank you, thank you. Why is that? He's just more feminine.

Kyle 9:47

What the fuck does that?

Carlos 9:48

mean.

Kyle 9:49

He's more nurturing I'll take that I'll take that.

Carlos 9:52

You know they can rest upon his bosom my dick's about to Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Kyle 9:58

What we're talking about yeah well, my fucking dick's about to fall out of my shorts. That's feminine.

Carlos 10:04

No, but your physique and your attitude.

Kyle 10:07

My physique is feminine.

Carlos 10:09

Oh yeah, look at yours, pretty feminine.

Kyle 10:11

I just saw a picture of your mom and who else was there. Don't talk shit about my mom, dude. I said they got the same body type Carlos and his mom.

Ryan 10:23

Get the fuck out of here, don't talk shit about my mom.

Erick 10:25

Get the fuck out of here.

Kyle 10:26

I will fucking you remember, you remember when we had that old co-worker I won't name he was a big African American guy and I said, jesus Christ, you got your mama's ass? He did, though he had a big ass. I was like, damn, you got that From your mama, didn't you?

Carlos 10:41

Jesus, fucking Christ. Oh God, I want to mention him so hard, but I can't. He also put mayo and relish on hot dogs and then questioned me for putting ketchup.

Kyle 10:48

No other one other, one other one. We've had two pretty big African-American guys work with us Wait which one are you? Talking about, not the mayo relish hot dog in a truck.

Carlos 11:05

The 7-. There's a spider in the truck, is it?

Ryan 11:06

bad that I know exactly. There's a baby spider in the truck and he stops the truck in the middle of traffic and opens the door and tries to kill the fucking thing. Oh my god, I'll tell you what?

Kyle 11:14

I've been fucking going hard on hot dogs. Lately Publix had a sale and I've been eating nothing but hot dogs.

Ryan 11:19

That's what you said this morning. He looked at the hot dogs this morning at Racetrack and he said no, I've been eating way too many hot dogs. I've been eating way too many.

Kyle 11:26

I tried the mayo and relish combo with some American cheese in there. Pretty good, it's pretty good.

Ryan 11:33

That's probably why that fat motherfucker was 440 pounds. Yeah, you're.

Kyle 11:39

Intern. We have an intern here for the 10th episode. Grab me a beer. Yeah, why did you skip?

Carlos 11:44

Wait, we had him probably for, like what, the 4th, 2nd, maybe 3rd.

Kyle 11:48

Then we skipped like a whole bunch yeah, where have you been, man? We need a little helper in here.

Ryan 11:55

He's speechless. He's been scared to come around me because he's a little pussy.

Kyle 11:57

Yeah, they got beef actually, Ryan and our intern. He's walking out on eggshells, ryan and our intern have big beef right now.

Carlos 12:03

Apparently he still has better fashion than Ryan does His fit Way better Describe the fit what you got on today.

Ryan 12:15

I got the high top dunks. I got my fucking jeans Hell yeah, got my Bali belt and I got my Ric Flair shirt. That Ric Flair shirt is pretty solid. Slick Ric baby. It's like fucking 10 bucks.

Carlos 12:27

It's a.

Ryan 12:27

Walmart shirt. Yeah, it looks like it.

Kyle 12:31

You never fucking watched Ric Flair. I love Ric Flair.

Carlos 12:34

No, you don't. What does he make? What kind of noises does he?

Kyle 12:36

make Dude. He just got fucking cut off at a bar and went. Yeah, have you seen that?

Carlos 12:42

Rick Flair said that he didn't even drink water at all, Like he just drank alcohol.

Ryan 12:46

That was Hulk Hogan. Hogan was talking about that. He said he didn't see Rick Flair do the same.

Carlos 12:50

I'm pretty sure it was Rick Flair yeah.

Ryan 12:52

Did you see the one when Flair was on Theo Vaughn? That's when he was talking about it.

Kyle 12:58

That's when he was talking about it yeah, he didn of the fucking bartender cutting Ric Flair off and he started fucking flipping out. Really. Yeah, dude, it was awesome. It was like this dude's like 90 years old now and he's still getting after it.

Carlos 13:12

How does he still have money? I?

Kyle 13:15

have no idea. He probably made so much money back in the day.

Ryan 13:17

Licensing or something, endorsements, deals, brand deals, shit like that.

Kyle 13:20

He just did some shit at the Super Bowl. Oh, he just did some shit at the Super Bowl.

Carlos 13:23

Oh, did he really.

Kyle 13:23

Yeah, at the fucking last Super Bowl, were you sued up or something? No, it was. What the fuck did he do?

Carlos 13:30

Did a cameo.

Kyle 13:31

Yeah, he was just on the fucking. He was there.

Carlos 13:34

I mean a commercial for the Super Bowl hey fucking.

Kyle 13:35

What about Donald Trump After the conviction being at the UFC? He?

Ryan 13:39

was all no Trump. I say they all just had him on the fucking camera the whole time. Those fights were crazy, though those were some good fights Shut the fuck up man.

Carlos 13:48

I did not watch the fights.

Kyle 13:50

Ryan doesn't watch fights either. He don't know what the fuck he's talking about.

Carlos 13:54

He's calling you a fucking.

Kyle 13:56

I'm calling you a poser. Athletically, you're an athletic poser and Carlos will attest to this. You say you wrestled. I know I can beat you.

Ryan 14:06

You say you played baseball, carlos played baseball, I think.

Kyle 14:08

Carlos could beat you at baseball too.

Ryan 14:10

If I were to wrestle right now, I'd wrestle at 126.

Kyle 14:13

That's too heavy for you If you were good enough. There's a couple people I know probably winning 126 could beat me.

Carlos 14:18

Did you know? I played college baseball.

Ryan 14:22

Did you know that, ryan, I did For the Thousandth time?

Carlos 14:26

And you say you're A better Athlete than I was.

Ryan 14:29

I was Baseball specific. Baseball specifically. Yes, I was.

Carlos 14:33

Any sport I'll fucking school you in, but how would we? How would we?

Kyle 14:37

Like. What position did you play?

Ryan 14:38

Me and Carlos played the middle infield Shortstop and second base, so perfect, I played everywhere.

Carlos 14:42

What were you? Ryan played two positions.

Ryan 14:44

I played them all yeah, you were probably the fucking right fielder because you sucked.

Kyle 14:48

No, I mean, I could play right field but, I played everywhere. What about the batting? Who's taking it to the house? I am.

Ryan 14:55

You're not dropping bombs, you're not hitting home runs, ryan what would you say?

Carlos 14:59

the average batting average would be the average batting average. Yeah, like all throughout baseball. You don't have to say average twice For the MLB, just in general. What would be a good batting average? You would call 280 to 300. Okay, what would you say you batted?

Ryan 15:16

I showed you the stats from that one tournament that I played in, the one tournament you played in. Oh my God, I got all tournament team. I was on the whole thing.

Carlos 15:23

That's pretty solid. That's pretty solid, I hit 347 for that tournament.

Ryan 15:27

Okay, what about high school, my freshman year? I don't fucking remember that was pretty good, though what about? For three years? I didn't. I only played Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.

Carlos 15:39

My high school career, I batted 325. Damn.

Ryan 15:44

No, that's four years. Maybe 315. You can look it up. You can look it up. This is a soft spot in Carlos' heart.

Carlos 15:52

I mean I have the receipts, but you say you're better than me.

Kyle 16:01

I'd like to take this to a fucking batting cage and let's see who fucking rips it.

Ryan 16:03

No, we need to go to one of those fucking simulators, like I have the baseball simulator and the golf simulator.

Carlos 16:07

I'm right-handed but I think I'll still hit better left-handed than Ryan does.

Ryan 16:11

Oh, you're going to try to switch it. I'll hit left-handed. I can switch it somewhat.

Carlos 16:27

Righty, I'm not the.

Kyle 16:29

Yeah, Carlos Herrera is a very popular name in baseball. No, no, that's college, but even college my batting average wasn't that bad.

Carlos 16:33

How many dudes named Carlos Herrera do you think play baseball A lot? I was like that's not me.

Kyle 16:37

Let's see these fucking stats, go stats right there.

Carlos 16:39

This isn't in many at-bats but it's something His average Go all the way down.

Ryan 16:46

I don't know what I'm looking at no, go up a little bit. Wait, no, go up a little bit.

Carlos 16:50

Hold on 276. 276 in college Average High school is better, for sure, though.

Ryan 17:00

It's not that bad. There's fucking dudes in the MLB that are hitting fucking I had three RBIs and 18 at bats.

Carlos 17:06

That's nothing.

Kyle 17:07

How many fucking RBIs did you have?

Ryan 17:09

Carlos, you also had eight strikeouts.

Carlos 17:11

Yeah, dude, I'm a freshman in college.

Kyle 17:15

I hate to do it to you, Ryan. I think Carlos got you.

Ryan 17:17

No, I got you. No, you're crazy, you're crazy. I wish I see, see that's why I'm so adamant on this.

Kyle 17:23

Because, ryan, you guys have both been off the fucking plate for a long time now, coming off cold Years and years not doing it.

Carlos 17:30

I told you I'll hit lefty. You have a glove. You have a glove, you can go throw.

Ryan 17:33

No, I don't have a glove. I gave all my gloves to my fucking little cousin's kids. You guys don't want to go play a catch?

Carlos 17:39

I'll let yeah, whose glove did you use Yours? I gave you my nice one too.

Ryan 17:44

He was still dropping them shits. I'm going to look that up. We're going to find a fucking baseball simulator for hitting Hitting only.

Carlos 17:51

And we're going to see what's going on. You'll probably grab a pencil.

Kyle 17:53

We need to record this. We need to put up a poll to see who the audience. Thank you guys so much. 10 episodes. Oh my God, so much. 10 episodes. Oh my god. Thank you guys, so fucking much.

Ryan 18:02

Yeah, you're still here.

Kyle 18:04

Yeah.

Ryan 18:05

Still holding on.

Kyle 18:05

We'll have to put that out. Yeah, let everybody vote on who they think I'm down Because I got my money. I'll bet our intern $1,000.

Ryan 18:13

Carlos wins Whoa, you better put that $1,000 on me, buddy, because I promise you we're going to win.

Carlos 18:21

I'll bet left-handed too. Well, no.

Kyle 18:23

If I bet him 1,000 cars, he's going to win. He's obviously betting for you.

Carlos 18:27

Yeah, he has no other choice, so is that?

Kyle 18:28

a deal. Unfortunately that's a deal.

Carlos 18:30

Want to shake on it? Let's shake on it. I'm not shaking you for a grand Wow, you don't have that much trust in me. No, not Dude you should put your money on me.

Ryan 18:42

I don't know, apparently Kyle's a big money man. I know he's up right now dude, Dude.

Carlos 18:46

probably the last time I swung in the cage was maybe two or three years ago. That shit's kind of hard.

Ryan 18:51

Hell yeah, it's hard. It's not hard when you're doing it every fucking day.

Kyle 18:54

Wait, what speed though? What speed are we going? 70?, 75?

Ryan 18:57

No, we want a batting cage.

Kyle 18:59

That's not what we're doing.

Ryan 19:02

You want to go on a batting cage 80.

Kyle 19:03

You can't just have it on a fucking tee you want to start out at.

Ryan 19:06

No, we're going to start out at like I thought 70. 70, okay. Okay, why don't we go to? You can go to those go-kart tracks in Daytona. They have the batting cages out there. You can go from 45 time on 80.

Kyle 19:20

Like I was whiffing, fast, yo, you don't realize how fast like 80 in MLB is not like crazy, that shit is fast as fuck. Oh yeah, oh yeah. 80 miles an hour it's fast.

Ryan 19:32

I don't even drive that fast in my car, Bro, that motherfucker, what's his name? Skeens, he's doing what? 102? Oh, 103?

Kyle 19:38

Every single pitch Intern, please talk.

Erick 19:42

So who am I betting against?

Kyle 19:44

Jesus man.

Ryan 19:45

We're already through that. Take it away from him, sit down, no you're betting.

Kyle 19:49

I'm betting that Carlos wins. You put up money for Ryan to win. Yeah, I can't hear you anymore. Goodbye intern. Goodbye intern. Good addition Damn. No, that was good. Thank the people listening. Thank the fans for 10 episodes.

Ryan 20:12

I think they like me more than they like you, Kyle.

Kyle 20:14

You think the fans like you more.

Ryan 20:15

I think they're clamoring for me. Buddy, I'm going to steal your zinger, right there, that's fucked up. I think they are.

Kyle 20:21

I think I'm the most I don't know. You're probably the most relatable to people. Why is that? I don't know You're fucked up, you think majority.

Ryan 20:28

Oh wait, wait, wait, wait, kyle's getting. I think our face Wait no, no, no, no, let me.

Carlos 20:39

Kyle you think majority of our listeners are fucked up like that. No, I think a lot of people related.

Kyle 20:44

Yeah, they were loving it. Dude, a lot of people must get kidnapped for them to like you.

Carlos 20:47

Yeah, you weren't the only one.

Ryan 20:51

No, I don't want to get kidnapped, though that was scary, that was not even happening, that's fucked up.

Kyle 20:54

You think you're liked more than me. Carlos is obviously dead last.

Ryan 20:57

He is dead last, he's dead pod, but I think so. Yeah, I am hispanic.

Carlos 21:09

Fuck that. That doesn't all right. Here we go. Shut the fuck up. It's always got to be racial with it's always racially motivated. With these fucking dickheads, you're the one that is, uh, always talking about racial shit. What do you mean? How?

Ryan 21:13

you like, don't like people what the fuck are you talking about? Certain races I'm just real.

Kyle 21:23

That's a good workaround actually.

Carlos 21:24

Yeah, there you go. We're an honest podcast.

Kyle 21:27

We need to also thank Eric. Eric essentially does fucking everything.

Carlos 21:31

Yeah, shout out E I'm trying fellas, I'm trying the man the myth legend. This man edits all day.

Kyle 21:36

Does audio? Does the video? Does the clips? Runs the socials, the PIP.

Carlos 21:42

Pimp Picture in picture.

Ryan 21:45

What the fuck does that mean you?

Carlos 21:46

guys, don't watch Pimp Picture in picture. What the fuck does that mean? You guys don't watch the YouTube Picture in picture. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, then I don't know, puts a lot of time and effort.

Kyle 21:53

Yeah, I don't know how the fuck that shit works. Carlos puts the least amount of effort in. For sure, I'm just here baby, yeah, exactly.

Carlos 22:01

I just link you and Ryan together, even though you guys are very close already.

Kyle 22:05

But yeah, 10 episodes. I honestly did not think we were going to have any listeners or get past like three episodes before we all just implode on ourselves.

Ryan 22:15

It's flown by honestly. Yeah, it has it really has.

Kyle 22:19

What is that? That's already a fucking two and a half months.

Carlos 22:21

Yeah, who would have thought that we would have all meshed so well?

Kyle 22:28

Like I, fucking two and a half months. Yeah god, who would have thought that we would have all meshed so well? Like I said, I thought it was going to implode pretty soon after we started.

Carlos 22:32

Why, I don't know he would like storm off, or I'm not gonna lie though, carlos wouldn't show up and it's only been once.

Erick 22:37

Okay, so we have like a thing. He said someone here was gonna cry first, who's leaving first, who's storming out first?

Kyle 22:44

Carlos already left for an episode.

Ryan 22:47

It wasn't he did?

Kyle 22:48

He took his little.

Ryan 22:48

PTO. He took a day off.

Kyle 22:49

Yeah, he took a little vacation, didn't you Took?

Ryan 22:51

my one day off, because you guys are fucking making us so much money, carlos, to be able to just afford to take a day off, dude.

Kyle 22:58

I'm taking a vacation. 5k.

Carlos 23:02

Sponsoring the booth.

Ryan 23:04

We are having the newest lowest booth. Out there I can see a whole banner and everything Don't lie to the fucking people man.

Carlos 23:10

Meet us out there. What are you doing tomorrow?

Kyle 23:11

You're going to fucking Daytona You're going to fucking chill on the beach.

Ryan 23:14

I'm going to chill on the beach tomorrow. I'm getting fucking hammered tomorrow.

Carlos 23:17

Please put sunscreen on.

Ryan 23:30

I was just about to say that word, but we're just a bunch of fucking this labor, labor oars, all right, all right.

Carlos 23:33

Labor hands. Have you ever seen jumanji?

Kyle 23:36

which one jumanji. I thought it was jumanji the original with robert williams or yes yes, robin williams great fucking movie.

Carlos 23:42

Doesn't ryan look like the teenage boy? I honestly don't remember that movie at all let's see your hair and your arm just reminded me of him why you'll see.

Ryan 23:56

Wait, the wolf boy or the teenage boy?

Kyle 23:58

He's a chimp. Oh, he's a. Oh he's a chimp. Where the fuck was that In the Kevin Hart? One Damn right.

Carlos 24:05

No, that's the original.

Kyle 24:07

I know.

Ryan 24:08

That's fucked up, carlos. What the fuck. You are a hairy little fucker. No the fuck I am not. You're low key hairy. No, you should have ginger hair, bro, my hair is brown little fucker. No the fuck I am not. You're low-key hairy. No, bro, my hair is brown More brown than you are.

Kyle 24:28

Carlos, is your mic working? Yeah, you're done. Oh, there, it is One, two, one, two. Ten episodes in. Still some kinks to work out, man.

1 Man Army

Ryan 24:36

Still working on it.

Kyle 24:37

It's a work in progress Get off our fucking backs about it, all right.

Carlos 24:40

Yeah, chill man.

Kyle 24:41

We have one guy running all of this.

Carlos 24:43

Eric figure it out.

Erick 24:44

It's not easy. It isn't easy Just like life, dude. Life is not easy, fuck that dude.

Carlos 24:49

Oh shit, here we go. How is life going right? Is it great, Is it?

Ryan 24:55

bad, is it okay? I live every day like it's my last. That's not true.

Carlos 25:02

You guys live together, or something.

Ryan 25:04

What the fuck do you?

Kyle 25:04

mean.

Ryan 25:05

That's not true, kyle, if you knew you had one day to live, what would you do?

Carlos 25:11

I'm not allowed to say Wait, why?

Kyle 25:13

You're going to commit a crime. Hell yeah, what crime. I know what crime you're thinking of, don't say it.

Erick 25:21

Don't say it, because now I've got to cut it again.

Ryan 25:24

No, I'm going to go Fuck that. I'm going to go fuck it.

Carlos 25:26

You did cut that last time, didn't you?

Ryan 25:27

I know.

Kyle 25:28

You're going to go rob somebody.

Ryan 25:29

I'm going to go rob the shit out of a.

Erick 25:30

Huh, what was the whole thing? What was the question?

Kyle 25:35

If you have one day to live, One day he said he'd live every day like his last. Why would you rob?

Carlos 25:39

a bank on your last day. That's a lot of trouble, dude, if it's your last day If you don't cut this out.

Ryan 25:44

I'll tell you what I'll do on my last day.

Erick 25:46

No, no, no, Don't say that. How about he says it? A word you can't say then don't Relax, relax, relax.

Ryan 25:56

That way I don't have to go edit this shit.

Erick 25:58

It's a lot of work to edit this shit out. Relax relax, relax.

Ryan 26:04

Kyle says it more than I do, so I don't know why the fuck everybody's getting on my case about this shit, Don't say it.

Carlos 26:09

If I had one day left to live and I know exactly what you're going to say.

Ryan 26:12

I had 24 hours left to live.

Kyle 26:14

It rhymes with gape.

Ryan 26:15

No, it doesn't. I'm going to go get probably about an eight ball to a quarter of cocaine. Nice, I'm going to get probably about 10 to 20 Adderall. Hell yeah, a shitload of liquor. Probably about a couple ounces of weed. So you're just going to overdose. And I'm going to go out with a bang.

Kyle 26:38

What if you don day? Good, then it is what it is. Buddy, just die, I'll just fucking, I'll just know you're just gonna be fucking tweaking in your apartment off of an eight ball of coke and

Carlos 26:43

20 addies chihuahua dude.

Kyle 26:45

You're just gonna be shaking in the corner, yeah you're gonna be like staring out your people, like watching people walk by every now and you're like he's not dead that's your last, you, boys I have zero left. So you live every day like that.

Ryan 26:58

No, all right no.

Kyle 27:00

Are you?

Ryan 27:01

close to it. No, I just get fucked up every day. Yeah, have a good time.

Kyle 27:06

I don't know how fucking Are these working?

Carlos 27:10

Mine is now.

Kyle 27:11

Mine's the one that's not ending out. Yeah, now we're good.

Carlos 27:13

Wouldn't be right for the 10th episode.

Kyle 27:16

I don't even remember where I was at. How was life?

Erick 27:19

No, he said he wasn't what he does for his last day, For my last day.

Ryan 27:22

Yeah, Well, I mean, obviously I mean, that's just like the, that's just a little sprinkle. You know what I'm saying? I'm gonna go to the strip club and have a good time.

Kyle 27:33

I'd go hang out with my family.

Ryan 27:36

Well, you have 24 hours. Spend the first five, six hours. I love my family death, but if I'm gone I'm going out with a bang.

Kyle 27:42

Well, but you got to go all the way back up to Jack's.

Ryan 27:45

That's like two hours out the gate. I already got two hours knocked off my life right there.

Kyle 27:49

You just call your mom and be like Mom. It's too far, I can't take the risk.

Carlos 27:54

I'd be like come up here rather than go down there?

Kyle 27:56

No dude, I'd fucking hang out with my family. That's what I'd do. How wholesome is that man.

Ryan 28:01

You're not a very wholesome guy.

Kyle 28:05

My mom thinks I'm cool.

Erick 28:07

You're going to make him cry again. My mom likes me.

Carlos 28:11

So you're a very strong, handsome boy. Would you hug everyone before you left, or would you just bounce?

Erick 28:14

Would, before you left, or would you just bounce? Would you do the pot again Like?

Kyle 28:17

one hour. Just one more pot before I'm gone. Just lay it all on the line. I'd fucking die on the pot.

Carlos 28:25

I'd save my last hour on camera and die here, so you would give your life to the pot.

Ryan 28:30

Well how would you want your funeral to go? Because you heard how I want my funeral to go. Yeah, you want to be butt-ass, naked and hard for some reason. You can't be hard if you're dead. Carlos.

Carlos 28:39

Think about that logically. Yeah, but you said that you would literally ask what is it? The embalming guy Embalming?

Ryan 28:46

Yeah, just put a little clip on a little bow tie on me, a little clip on bow tie and nothing else, and nothing else, and I'm just they were like wow, we have zero respect for him.

Kyle 28:55

You want to be crucified Like you want to be crucified, Just naked.

Ryan 29:00

That's a good one. I want to be crucified.

Kyle 29:01

Hanging and swinging.

Ryan 29:02

Hell yeah, put me up on a cross in a field it's going to be like. What did you say you wanted to do? What was it called?

Kyle 29:06

I talked about a sky burial. Sky burial I want to cross sky burial, who kept getting eaten by the phoenix every day, and then he would regen. Sounds expensive, icarus, or whatever. Well, that's what you guys are for, you guys are supposed to fund my funeral.

Carlos 29:21

I ain't funding shit, why not? I'll throw you in the fucking waste management pile.

Ryan 29:26

That's fucked up.

Kyle 29:27

I think we've talked about it. Have we talked about all those fucked up places embalming people that look cool?

Carlos 29:34

Oh yeah, look cool. Oh yeah, In positions.

Kyle 29:36

Bro, find another dead lady. Find a lady, preferably 69ing Me, her With you.

Ryan 29:45

Damn. That's a good idea, that's a great idea.

Kyle 29:49

Or just me fucking hitting the buns from the back.

Erick 29:55

What do you think?

Kyle 29:56

your mom would think She'd be like I knew it, I knew it, I knew he wasn't gay. I knew it. I knew he wasn't gay.

Carlos 30:00

I said my baby wasn't gay the whole time.

Life

Erick 30:03

And there you go, man. I told you, I knew it, carlos. What about you, man?

Carlos 30:10

It wouldn't be any of that. I don't know, man, I want to be burned alive.

Ryan 30:19

Not burned alive to be. Uh, I want to be. Uh, burned a lot, not burned a lot. Jesus christ, god damn, you want to be cremated. I want to be. Yeah, I want to be cremated. What do you want your ashes to be spread out? I don't know mexico an orange field or a strawberry field, shit what do they?

Carlos 30:34

what do they say? Oh, I don't know, I can't even think it's too sudden for me, man, I don't want to think about death.

Ryan 30:42

I don't want to think about death either.

Kyle 30:43

Fuck that Well you definitely can't think about death. No, dude, like everybody who becomes a parent, they're like I. At least have to make it until they're like 18. Like old enough to be self-s self sufficient.

Carlos 30:55

I was talking to my wife about death the other day for some reason, and I was like you know, I hope I can be better, you know, dead than alive she goes.

Kyle 31:03

You have no life insurance, that's true, I was like oh shit, I probably should get some life insurance. I can sell you life insurance, you can, I'm a licensed. I fucking got licensed shut the fuck up.

Carlos 31:14

I swear to God, how much can you sell me?

Kyle 31:17

I can sell you term life However much you want.

Carlos 31:20

Like I can get my wife a meal for me dying.

Kyle 31:23

Yeah, that's not even that expensive A meal Really.

Carlos 31:26

Not. How much do you think I can get At the Like at least 5.2.

Kyle 31:32

It depends, because it's almost like health insurance. So you have to go in and like, talk to somebody and be like do you smoke, do you drink, do you like?

Ryan 31:45

obviously, not right. Of course you gotta lie, you have to lie dude I had to lie, I feel like why would you?

Kyle 31:49

lie because you need more money.

Ryan 31:51

It's like health insurance so if I tell them that dude a health?

Carlos 31:53

insurance company can deny you if you say if you say I smoke fucking L&M's every day, they're going to be like all right, you're getting $200.

Kyle 32:01

Well, yeah, because they think I mean you're going to be at the fucking hospital all the time. You're going to be racking up the fucking money. So, you have to fucking you have to lie to those people to make them think that you're healthy and that it's a lower premium you're a licensed life insurance specialist in colorado I got licensed. I can.

Carlos 32:21

I would just have to go in and redo my not the test, but just have it renewed, renewed here, just go redo it so you can sell me like five mil now, fake my death, I mean that premium would be pretty high.

Kyle 32:33

One mil premium not too bad monthly once it starts, because it's not more than what $20 you think For a mil. It's around there. I'd say $20 to $50, if I'm remembering correctly. But no, dude, me and my stepdad was getting me into this thing. I won't name the company, probably for the better. He was licensed in. He was a finance guy, licensed in selling securities and bonds and life insurance.

Kyle 33:02

right, he's like yo, you got to get into this and I was like it was right after I fucking right after I lied about going to college and then came back and was like fuck, I mean you went but you didn't go, I don't know what I'm doing. And then I went and I sat, I took a. You had to take a class at this weird office three days, so friday, saturday and sunday, and they were like 10 hour classes, so fucking 30 hours in there. And then you had to go to a government building and take one of those monitored tests where they're like there's a camera on you. Yeah, there's dividers and I had to take there's two different ones, there's like two separate ones, and I passed one and then I failed another one. I went back, paid for it that time, failed that one and then went back again and passed it. So I was a licensed life insurance salesman.

Ryan 33:52

We learned something new about Kyle every fucking day, every day.

Carlos 33:56

He has some credibility. Jack of all trades man, master of none. You know that when I was in college they made me take my math classes that way Monitored.

Kyle 34:07

Like on a computer, were you in special classes.

Carlos 34:10

No.

Kyle 34:11

They would let you use a calculator if you were in special classes.

Carlos 34:15

They let me use like a regular function calculator, like only you know. Yeah.

Kyle 34:20

They let me use a regular function calculator Only you know, yeah, no parentheses, no square roots. I'm like what is this shit? Did you pass no?

Carlos 34:28

No, I didn't.

Kyle 34:29

You know what was the shit? I used to fucking love geometry. Geometry was so fucking chill to me, just shapes and shit.

Carlos 34:37

It wasn't even math, it's just sort of math yeah technically. So are you good at pool?

Kyle 34:42

Pool. Yeah, I'm better than you two. For sure You're crazy as hell.

Carlos 34:45

I've beat you many times I will say Kyle's pretty good at pool, but I've beaten him before, okay yeah, once or twice man. Oh shit, we on Ryan time now. What the fuck did that mean? You're the one saying that you want to get nailed to a cross and get crucified.

Ryan 35:03

Yeah, if I die. Yeah, yeah, would you.

Carlos 35:06

Let him like spear you and slit your fucking intestine, your rib, if I'm already dead, yeah, I don't care.

Kyle 35:13

Have you guys seen that the Passion of the Christ?

Carlos 35:15

Yeah, it's pretty gnarly. It's fucked up, dude.

Kyle 35:18

The fucking Jews murdered that dog.

Carlos 35:20

Yeah, Voldemort comes out.

Kyle 35:22

Yeah. Not a big movie guy like you fucking are. Why did the Jewish people not like Jesus? Because he was a fake. Jesus was a fake Is what they say. I'm not very religious like that. Ryan's really fucking religious. You got rosaries and shit, don't you?

Ryan 35:37

I have a rosary, yeah.

Kyle 35:38

Yeah.

Ryan 35:40

You have a rosary. I'm not religious. No, it's been keeping me safe since I got it, so have you felt a real rosary?

Carlos 35:48

What do they feel like? Like the ones that?

Ryan 35:49

smell. Oh, is it like the wooden beaded ones?

Kyle 35:52

Yeah, like amber Is that why they're called rosaries, because they smell like roses? I don't think so. I don't know. Do y'all?

Ryan 35:59

believe in God? No, I believe in there's a higher power.

Kyle 36:02

But fuck that you just don't want to call it God. You don't think there's a guy sitting up there?

Ryan 36:06

I don't know who the fuck's sitting up there. What do you worship? Nothing.

Carlos 36:17

The D Every morning, every morning, kissing his fucking D. You would think that we were lying, but we're not.

Ryan 36:25

I'm.

Carlos 36:26

What the fuck.

Ryan 36:27

Get up Fucking, brush my teeth, throw some. Well, I don't throw D on it. I throw D on it on a night time. Oh, you still do that. Throw D on it. What the fuck? I'm not changing. Get the fuck out of here.

Kyle 36:34

What is this? A fucking recap. Ten episodes in, we got a recap every fucking episode.

Carlos 36:37

No, ryan, stop us, you're on.

Kyle 36:39

Your mic is fucked up, buddy.

Ryan 36:41

Yeah, dude, mine is, I can hear it too. No, it's Carlos'.

Baloo

Kyle 36:50

I have the Ryan mic. Oh no, there it is there. It is there. It is sitting on the course. Blue, Don't say the dog's name man.

Carlos 36:58

Oh shit, Don't look up Blue, please, You'll find him.

Ryan 37:01

You're not going to be able to spell his fucking name, so it's all right.

Carlos 37:03

Yeah, b-l-u.

Kyle 37:05

It's not even that dude.

Carlos 37:06

How do you spell his name?

Kyle 37:07

You ever seen the Jungle Book? Yes, the bear. What's his name? Christ.

Carlos 37:13

Maybe it wasn't blue.

Kyle 37:14

Baloo, baloo.

Carlos 37:16

Oh, is it based off of Jungle Book Blue?

Erick 37:19

Yeah, yeah, the bear.

Carlos 37:21

Of course it is.

Kyle 37:25

You know what I used to go to church, yeah, you said that, carlos, you're fucking up buddy.

Ryan 37:33

Yeah, this was you on episode three. That's fine, kyle. Is that? Why you're the way you are is because you went to church Used to New age metaphysical? I don't know what the fuck that means. Look it up, dumbass. I'm not going to look it up, so that's fine Fucking.

Kyle 37:51

Very spiritual man.

Ryan 37:54

I feel like I'm watching fucking Super Troopers with these huge douchebags with the fucking glasses on.

Kyle 37:57

I feel like I'm watching fucking Super Troopers with these huge douchebags with the fucking glasses on. I love that movie, man. I fucking love it. The snozzberries taste like snozzberries. Yeah, you remember that part of the movie.

Ryan 38:06

Do you remember that part?

Kyle 38:07

He said, that part's so fucking funny. What's your guys' favorite movie?

Ryan 38:12

of all time. Shut the fuck up, Kyle. Shut the fuck up. You know, that's the one thing I was thinking of.

Carlos 38:16

What movie has made you cry recently?

Kyle 38:19

Me, yeah, I can tell you which movie doesn't make him cry. But we've talked about that before.

Erick 38:24

This is just a recap of every single episode.

Carlos 38:28

What movie doesn't make you cry?

Ryan 38:30

Kyle and Carlos are getting into the fucking gutter. I don't know where the fuck their minds are going. I'm not going to lie.

Carlos 38:35

I saw a clip of All Dogs Go to Heaven earlier and I was like you know, it kind of made me tear up a little bit.

Kyle 38:40

Is that like Marley and Me?

Carlos 38:42

No, it's the animated version though.

Kyle 38:44

Dogs just die.

Carlos 38:46

But the flip side is it's the last scene and the child actor that was in the scene died already because she was murdered by her father.

Erick 38:56

Okay, how often do you guys cry, cry. Wait, this is a kid's movie. It's all dogs go to heaven. That was your first time crying in a minute no, but I just saw it.

Carlos 39:04

I saw it when I was waiting for your fucking chipotle. I was sitting there watching. I was like, oh my god, this is really sad that's a kid's movie, you said yeah, all dogs go to heaven last scene fucking christ the dog who's? Burt Reynolds filmed it after the daughter in the movie died. She was killed. Oh, she died in real life. Yeah, in real life.

Kyle 39:27

Her father killed her yeah.

Carlos 39:29

Burt Reynolds was filming the scene while he knew that the girl was dead and it was really sad. Did they CGI her in there? No, but it was already recorded. So, they just clipped it together.

Kyle 39:42

It was like fucking fast when Paul Walker died and they made them. This is more emotional dude. Everybody cried at Paul Walker fucking driving off Hell.

Carlos 39:52

Yeah, what's that song? See you Again.

Kyle 39:55

And I'll see you, that's.

Ryan 39:57

Wiz Khalifa right. That's Wiz, that's Wiz and Charlie Puth.

Carlos 40:03

The most random two to get together.

Kyle 40:05

I'll tell you who fucking sucks at music Wiz.

Ryan 40:09

Not back in the day, not back in the day, but now, yeah, goddamn, he fucking sucks ass. I'll fight that fucker too. Think about how much money he made way back in the day. He's fine. He's chilling now.

Carlos 40:20

Off of Taylor Gang. Yeah, taylor Gang was fire. You were probably a part of Taylor Gang. I had a couple pair of chucks, were you? Team snapback or team fitted Snapback.

Kyle 40:30

Wait, snapbacks or tattoos.

Erick 40:34

Both Swag or no swag.

Kyle 40:38

Swag or no swag. Swag or no swag, dude. No, wiz Khalifa fucking blows. I'll fight J Cole and Wiz Khalifa At the same time. Wiz pulled Amber Rose.

Ryan 40:44

She's gross as hell, and that's the type of lady that Ryan likes Usually.

Kyle 40:51

For him to say Amber Rose is fucking gross. That means something.

Ryan 40:55

You think I like a bald headed lady Kyle.

Kyle 40:59

Jesus, I don't know, no, but she has like the body type of some, like a bitch. You like Big tits, fat ass, Big tits, big fake, tits, big fake ass, blonde hair, blonde Buzz.

Ryan 41:09

Well, it's just not real. It's a fucking.

Kyle 41:11

I tell you you show me bitches who aren't real every fucking day and you say they're so hot.

Ryan 41:16

Am I ever going to bag them? Hell, no, exactly.

Kyle 41:19

When are you going to bag someone?

Ryan 41:21

Bag a bitch.

Kyle 41:24

Mm-hmm, I don't know. You shouldn't call them that. They're very smart and funny.

Carlos 41:27

They don't like being called bitches. Apparently Bitches, whores, sluts.

Kyle 41:31

Women are funny. Now, didn't you hear? They have feelings. I have feelings. I have feelings too. Fuck their feelings. Yeah, it's so funny. I was watching like a weird tiktok twitch stream and there was this, a lady like cooking, with like three dudes standing there and she was like talking about all the trolls like in there and she was like fuck you retards. I don't know you're like fuck, fuck you retards, I don't give a fuck. Like you guys need to get a life. And then the next chat was like why is the dishwasher talking?

Carlos 42:04

Do you follow that page? It's like Fucked up comments or something like that it's so funny, dude.

Kyle 42:10

Those fucking Twitch chats Are fucking ruthless.

Ryan 42:12

Sometimes Instagram is best.

Kyle 42:15

Instagram is fucking crazy, nah, I feel like.

Carlos 42:16

Twitch, they go ham and they use it Like as their title, and then they like Donate a dollar.

Kyle 42:23

Yeah, I don't know. I fucking. You know I was at, I went to fucking. You know what fucking Pisses me off what. When you're at A restaurant or sitting down somewhere and you don't Push in your chair when you leave, it's like a very big pet peeve of mine. You just get up and leave.

Ryan 42:39

Not pushing in your chair. When you shop at Publix, walmart, do you push your cart back to the car park? Yes, you don't. It depends, it depends, oh my. God, if I got to park far fuck no. I leave it in the parking spot but if I'm in too.

Kyle 43:01

No, no, you know what's a pet peeve of mine Go.

Ryan 43:04

Sometimes I have donned a dash before. That's fine Sure.

Kyle 43:08

I've been there.

Ryan 43:08

Kyle's a fucking horrible tipper. He's a horrible tipper.

Kyle 43:13

So either give good or don't give at all.

Ryan 43:14

You can't point your pet peeve straight at me, Listen, listen listen, I'll tip like 15, and he'll be like I'm going to tip 3. You already tipped 15, so that's $18.

Carlos 43:26

Oh, he piggybacks off your tip, he piggybacks off my tip.

Kyle 43:28

How does that make any? Sense I've done that before.

Ryan 43:30

That doesn't make any sense, but.

Kyle 43:31

I've also never walked out on a fucking tab asshole.

Ryan 43:34

I have probably like 10 or 20 times. Yeah, you guys probably eat a lot, I don't think you know what pet peeve means.

Kyle 43:39

You can't just say something, you don't like about what I do.

Carlos 43:41

You know, what I don't like about myself Is that Ryan wears ripped jeans.

Kyle 43:46

Yeah, a pet peeve is like overall in general. You see anybody do it. You don't like it it.

Carlos 43:51

It kind of constitutes that.

Kyle 43:54

Yeah, not tipping, I tip man.

Carlos 43:56

Piggybacking off tips.

Kyle 43:58

Is that true?

Ryan 44:00

I only do it sometimes I don't got a lot of money. I don't either. All right then. I don't either.

Erick 44:06

Kyle's frugal with his money Money-wise.

Kyle 44:08

Yeah, my fucking dude, when my stepdad and mom hear this, they're going to be like we fucking knew you were a Jew, fucking knew you were a jew, you're 100 of jew, they fucking. They'll be like, yeah, come over, like, bring beer, and I'll bring like a six pack and just drink all their beer I just brought myself fucking we. They were like they would all they all like take bets about how many beers I'll bring, because I'm such a jew man and you already killed a whole six pack oh yeah dude.

Ryan 44:33

The last couple times me and kyle have hung out, I bought in a-pack and left probably like 12 to 14 of them there.

Carlos 44:38

Yeah, and then you grab them to leave and he's like where are you going with those?

Ryan 44:41

No, no, no I haven't been grabbing them to leave, and he's like, yeah, you left the Bushes in my truck. He's like they're gone, though, they're gone, they're in my fridge. Now they're gone.

Kyle 44:51

Yeah was a bad one that was, that was a bad the halloween party me and eric went to was a battle that was secret, though, wasn't it the glass bottles dude?

Ryan 45:02

yeah, I fucking eric, it was such a whack it was such a fucking weird party.

Kyle 45:06

It was all. It was eric's friends, so I didn't really know anybody. I was just kind of hanging around. It was a costume party. I just wore a shirt with a skull on it. I was like just hanging out, we're just fucking drinking whatever, and eric's like all right, it's time to go. I was like oh, fucking bet bet I go into a cooler and grab like fucking eight glass bottles of seagrams. I'm like, all right, let's fucking go, and I start running out after eric and I drop one.

Erick 45:32

It shatters all over the fucking ground and I was like that's a pet peeve of mine, fuck.

Kyle 45:37

And kyle tells me but then listen how quick.

Ryan 45:38

And I was like that's a pet peeve of mine, fuck. And Kyle tells me I'm fucking funny.

Kyle 45:39

But then listen how quick I was. I was like, because I won't say the dude's name, but I was yelling out the dude's name. I was like I need a broom. I need a broom real quick. And then we just left. I don't know if that's then I just left so somebody else had to clean that up. That was a bad, that was a party foul. That was my bad.

Ryan 46:00

It's party foul. Ok, what the fuck are we getting into tomorrow night?

Kyle 46:05

I got to do shit tomorrow. Apparently, you want to fucking pop out tomorrow night.

Ryan 46:09

We're going to pop out tomorrow night.

Kyle 46:11

You say it every time. And then you're fucking passed out of my beanbag, throwing up all over my apartment.

Carlos 46:16

No, no, no, we're not going to leak up until fucking like 3 am 3 pm tomorrow 3 am, not 3 am, 3 pm Like 3, 4 pm tomorrow.

Ryan 46:23

I'll be fine. I'll be hitting you up late. I'll be chilling.

Erick 46:25

Just stay at his place, you don't? That was a resort I was living at. God damn, it was like $370, but it's fucking nice For one night For one night, you don't even live that far.

Ryan 46:42

Yes, I'm like. It's like 45 minutes to actually get to the beach.

Kyle 46:44

You're going to pay. What are you fucking? You're going to pay that. You're going to get that room there.

Ryan 46:48

No, probably not.

Erick 46:51

Fuck that, maybe, depending on how to do it. I'm going to do it $300, $400, and how much is it going to cost on your drinks?

Ryan 47:02

Well, it's fucking right next to Seabreeze, so it's like fuck. If I'm doing that, if I'm Dolo and Kyle doesn't want to hang out, I'm going to end up at the strip club. I'm going to the.

Kyle 47:07

Tiki Bar. Just say it. Kyle, yeah, we had some love for you bringing up, getting kidnapped in Daytona. I wonder what people fucking Seabreeze. When we say Seabreeze, it's like the fucking dingiest, shitty fucking.

Daytona

Erick 47:20

It's dingy that's a great way to put it. So how long have you guys lived there? Just so people know.

Ryan 47:25

I lived, so Kyle's still there. I lived there from 2018 to 2023. Yeah, yeah, so from 18 to 23, I lived there.

Kyle 47:35

It's around five years, something like that.

Ryan 47:38

Just 18 to 23 I lived there. It's around 5 years, something like that, just about. No, it was like 5, just a little over 5 and a half years.

Kyle 47:40

I've been there. What the when the fuck did I move out here?

Ryan 47:45

Fuck Cause you got 2020, 20, was it 2020 or 2019?

Kyle 47:49

No, it wasn't 19 Cause COVID. I came after COVID. Covid was 2020. I think it was 20 Cause. We still, we all these motherfuckers.

Ryan 47:58

Covid was 2020, I think it was 20, because we saw, we all these motherfuckers are talking.

Erick 48:02

God damn it. Shut the fuck up.

Kyle 48:04

No, I. I came out in 2020. It'll be three years. Do the math It'll be three years in. No, it already was three years in May. So 2021, 2021, 2021. I've been there for a little over three years now.

Ryan 48:17

I was there for five little over three years now. I was there for five and a half years. I fucking love it. I'm going to move back to Daytona, are you really? I love it out there.

Kyle 48:24

Yeah, Well I mean, but I don't pop out like that when I go home, I just go home. It'll be very seldom I pop out to the downtown scene in fucking Daytona.

Ryan 48:34

I lived on Seabreeze For a year. It was fucking awesome.

Kyle 48:36

Just so people know that's like the most Fucked up People get shot there Like every couple weeks.

Ryan 48:42

If you ever want to go to Daytona and do vacation in there, don't go to Just take a walk Through Seabreeze. Seabreeze it's about what A mile long.

Kyle 48:51

Bro, there's like Fucking eight clubs Right there. There's a couple strip clubs, strip clubs.

Ryan 48:55

Coyote Ugly.

Carlos 48:56

During the day it seems fun At nighttime.

Ryan 49:00

it's not. It's fucked up.

Kyle 49:03

I remember last time I was there there was a prom party, an after party or whatever.

Ryan 49:09

Like a high school prom party.

Kyle 49:11

No formal, I mean it was formal. And this fucking dude with a bad bitch was just walking down the street and I was standing outside and he started talking to me and just handed me a fat fucking cigar he was just sucking on. I was like fuck yeah, dude, when you go there, you divert, you go down to everybody else's level.

Ryan 49:32

You go down to the scum level.

Kyle 49:33

And you're just scumming around, dude.

Erick 49:36

That guy's going to call me back.

Kyle 49:37

Oh, dude, that guy's going to call me back? Oh yeah, Watch your fucking mouth. It's Daytona, motherfucker.

Carlos 49:41

They're on your ass.

Kyle 49:42

I do not fit into Daytona locals, though, no.

Carlos 49:45

They've been there for fucking their whole life. They've been there since fucking 1970.

Kyle 49:51

I am not in that scene Fuck no. Hell. No, what are you talking about?

Ryan 49:56

You are, you were there.

Erick 49:58

You were there, I'm a local. You've been on Bike Week.

Carlos 50:01

Many times Bike.

Kyle 50:02

Week is fucked up. What was that bitch you saw?

Ryan 50:05

She had boner garage tattooed.

Carlos 50:06

I was going to talk about that.

Ryan 50:07

Oh yeah, Apparently she died.

Carlos 50:08

Did she Apparently she died. I wouldn't doubt it.

Kyle 50:19

We'll have here. I have it on my phone.

Ryan 50:19

It was apparently, like a mythical legend of Daytona, it's Ryan's WhatsApp picture. Apparently she's a Reddit legend. Everybody knew who she was Everybody.

Kyle 50:26

And every bike week she'd come out in like the skankiest little shit. She was a fat, chunky old lady.

Ryan 50:32

I had to tip her fucking $5 and put it in her bra to get that picture. Take a picture. Hell yeah, was it sweaty.

Carlos 50:38

Sweaty as fuck.

Kyle 50:39

It was fucking disgusting Boner garage tattooed above her pussy.

Ryan 50:45

She had boner garage above her pussy with two arrows on each side, oh my god, there she is, there, she is right there.

Kyle 50:49

Boner garage. There she is, right there, dude, it's her whole stomach.

Ryan 50:52

She's got a stomach pussy she has an arrow on each side of her stomach. Where's my phone at? Hold on, let me see. Does my picture look like that? Hold on, I think it does.

Kyle 51:03

That bitch is so gross.

Ryan 51:05

I think it fucking does.

Kyle 51:07

She loved it, dude.

Carlos 51:08

Dude, that's dedication. What do you mean? That's?

Ryan 51:11

dedication For her. I mean, she was slumming it. Oh, she did have the stomach pussy on there. Yeah, I didn't even realize that she did.

Carlos 51:19

She had the sissy.

Ryan 51:20

She was making some. Well, she wasn't as big in that picture, that was 2000. No, she's fucking huge in that one. I was out there.

Kyle 51:26

She must have made a lot that bike week. She was eating good. Hell yeah, she was eating good.

Ryan 51:32

She died. The pictures Is my picture on there.

Erick 51:35

No.

Kyle 51:36

Why would your picture Be on fucking Google?

Erick 51:38

You didn't upload it, did you? You're not that important.

Kyle 51:39

It was on Instagram. Yeah, it's not on there, sorry, buddy. Yeah, that is. That's fucking nuts. Jesus, fucking Christ, did you?

Ryan 51:48

mind your shit, fucking bullshit.

Kyle 51:50

I didn't remember her being that fucking gross.

Ryan 51:53

No, she was disgusting. Yeah, she was disgusting, she looked disgusting, she was disgusting, she looked disgusting, she was cool though.

Erick 51:58

I said there had a couple drinks.

Carlos 51:59

She was.

Erick 51:59

That was someone's mom, someone's sister.

Carlos 52:01

Yeah, imagine being her child.

Erick 52:03

Oh my God, what happened to new Kyle?

Ryan 52:07

New Kyle is out the window. He was just a skit from last week. He's gone with the wind dude.

Erick 52:12

What happened? Kyle explain.

Kyle 52:13

No, no, I'm still there, man, I'm still being very mindful, I'm still very connected with myself.

Carlos 52:17

You didn't call anybody a bitch today, so that's kind of nice.

Kyle 52:19

Did I not?

Carlos 52:21

Maybe you did, I don't know.

Kyle 52:25

If I did, I apologize. Like I said, women are funny. Now they, they're really cool. I would love to hang out with some of them.

Carlos 52:35

Do we have any women listeners on this pod?

Kyle 52:38

Yeah, we had them on. Yeah, we had her on Leilani's, the only listener we had her on. Like I always say, if you're a big fan of this podcast, you can come on here.

Carlos 52:49

Yeah, yeah, it's pretty surprising.

Kyle 52:53

It's fucking. Fuck you, dude. I don't tip bad, I tip good.

Ryan 52:59

Oh, he's so fired up about tip shit.

Kyle 53:01

I tip bad when I don't have much money.

Ryan 53:03

Then why the fuck are you going to spend $200 at the bar when you don't have fucking money? You do piggyback tip.

Kyle 53:09

You've never fucking. I've never gone out to eat with you.

Carlos 53:12

No, but what it sounds like is you try to piggyback off Ryan's tips.

Kyle 53:15

He does. What's your pet peeve with Carlos then?

Carlos 53:18

Yeah, what's my pet peeve? Your hair. You know what my pet peeve is with you. What this might be mean, say it. You eat with your mouth open.

Ryan 53:30

And I also chew gum and I smack. I don't care.

Kyle 53:33

Oh, you smack.

Ryan 53:35

Dude, when me and Kyle were in Naples last week, I was smacking on some fucking gum. I got a pack of gum every single day.

Kyle 53:41

Yeah, yeah, bro, ate like 60 pieces of gum.

Carlos 53:43

When I was out of town with you, we were eating. Remember the burrito tacos.

Ryan 53:47

Yeah.

Carlos 53:48

This guy cannot keep his mouth shut.

Kyle 53:51

He was just like oh, my God, I don't give a fuck.

Ryan 53:55

It's gross.

Kyle 53:55

You are a nasty little fucker, oh shit.

Ryan 53:58

I'm a nasty little fucker.

Kyle 54:00

I never even realized that you do smack your shit Like a motherfucker.

Ryan 54:04

Oh my God, I don't give a fuck To each his own. My brother, yeah, that's all it is.

Kyle 54:10

It's fucking what your pet peeve is, carlos' hair. Yeah, he can't fix that. He can if you take. You know, if you get why is my hair your pet peeve?

Ryan 54:21

I'm trying to think of what my pet peeve would be with you, carlos Little meat?

Carlos 54:26

No, no, it's not that.

Ryan 54:30

Let me think of this to not be mean. So I don't make Carlos cry, cause I have made Carlos cry before, just so everybody knows he's Doing what.

Carlos 54:38

Water works, buddy. What? Why have you made me cry? How?

Kyle 54:42

I don't remember. I thought I saw a tear when he Wrestled you. That one time he he couldn't breathe.

Carlos 54:52

It was also two in the morning and we were hammered.

Kyle 54:54

Right, but you were both Equally as hammered and Ryan fucking kicked your ass. See, I didn't think we were going to take it as seriously as we did.

Carlos 55:00

But Ryan, ryan went 100.

Ryan 55:03

Immediately I was also probably like Fucking 14 or 15. All of us were like 13 to 14 drinks deep we were a pretty turn. We were fucking lit dude.

Carlos 55:12

You know what my other Pet peeve is with you, what your hygiene.

Kyle 55:20

What do you mean? You're saying he?

Carlos 55:21

has bad hygiene. How do I see this nicely? His feet fucking stink.

Ryan 55:26

Your feet stink, they do. I've told you guys that for the three years I've known you, my feet stink.

Carlos 55:31

You use zip ties as a belt, even though you have one. Oh, you do that. My known you. My feet stink. You use zip ties as a belt even though you have one.

Ryan 55:35

Oh, you do that my belt broke, it snapped.

Kyle 55:38

Just buy. They're fucking $10. Buy one.

Ryan 55:41

That's work, attire.

Carlos 55:44

Yeah, but do you wear? Yeah, wear one of your Fendi belts or something.

Ryan 55:48

No, these are fucking leather belts. What the fuck.

Carlos 55:54

What else, what else, kyle. What can you piggyback? What is your? Pet peeve about me.

Kyle 55:58

My pet peeve about you, ryan can't think of it.

Carlos 56:00

So what do you think?

Kyle 56:05

You're a fucking dickhead, am I.

Carlos 56:08

Or am I real, as Ryan says?

Kyle 56:10

We don't want to talk about work on here, but goddamn, you're a fucker.

Ryan 56:16

Well.

Kyle 56:18

Sometimes, man Sometimes, but I get it because when you talk to me, like how I talk to you, it pisses me off so much yeah.

Carlos 56:26

I give it back sometimes, I know.

Kyle 56:27

It makes me so angry. But then I'm like fuck, I say the exact same thing.

Carlos 56:32

I feel like I talk to you guys respectively, though.

Kyle 56:35

Respectively or respectfully. Respectively yeah, yeah, sometimes.

Carlos 56:42

I don't try to belittle you.

Kyle 56:43

No.

Ryan 56:44

Because if you belittled me, I'd fucking headbutt you.

Carlos 56:47

Yeah no. I don't belittle you for saying that shit.

Kyle 56:50

I don't think I have like very specific pet peeves for you guys Like.

Carlos 56:54

I said, I feel like I don't have any pet peeves for you, my pet peeve for the longest time has been pushing in your fucking chair.

Kyle 56:59

when you get up from anywhere, pushing your goddamn chair. That's the only one I fully remember always having.

Carlos 57:07

So what constitutes? Have you guys eaten in at Hugh Magoo's or something?

Hospitality

Ryan 57:13

I've only had Hugh Magoo's once. Are you talking like a in at huma goose or something? I've only had huma goose once.

Kyle 57:15

No, are you talking like a fast food restaurant?

Carlos 57:16

you sit inside for yeah, like that they bring you you're still pushing your chair yes, but you bring in. They bring in the food, yeah, and then you have to throw away the trash and put the tray above the trash?

Kyle 57:28

can? Yes?

Ryan 57:28

yes so same thing with a fucking shopping cart from public to walmart.

Kyle 57:31

you go in there, spend money, get your food's the other thing You'll go to a self-checkout at these fucking places and there'll be a basket sitting right next to the self-checkout. You're like, just put the fucking basket back. There's a stack of them right there.

Ryan 57:45

See, I'm 50-50 on that because I'm spending money to be there.

Carlos 57:50

Oh, there's a ton of them too.

Kyle 57:53

So you're just making them pick up your baskets, making them.

Carlos 57:55

Publix is honestly the best grocery store you could work for. Why? I don't know they get stocks and stuff like that, like the benefits.

Kyle 58:05

That's every fucking big corporation dipshit.

Carlos 58:07

Really you think so?

Kyle 58:09

Walmart. I've worked at Walmart.

Carlos 58:11

They get the stock options.

Kyle 58:12

If you're a full time.

Carlos 58:14

And you can be part time and still get the sock options If you're a full-time. Yes.

Kyle 58:16

And you can be part-time and still get the no. You have to be fucking full-time, see that's the difference between Publix.

Carlos 58:20

Have you worked at Publix. No, I've had employees that worked at Publix.

Kyle 58:24

Sure, you did buddy.

Carlos 58:25

Not at this company, because none of you guys have fucking worked at Publix.

Kyle 58:29

I All my fucking, all my CO dogs out there know, king Soopers is fucking next level.

Carlos 58:34

King Soopers? I've never heard of that. What the fuck is that? Is that a?

Kyle 58:36

grocery store it is. They don't have the like subway, like the sandwiches like Publix does, but they have like deli and shit like that. Sushi King Soopers is where it's at. You can get up to like a dollar off. They have a gas station. Oh, a dollar off of gas, it's like a.

Erick 58:51

Bucky's.

Kyle 58:52

But a grocery store Kind of, it's not as big, is it?

Ryan 58:55

Piggly Wiggly. I don't know what the fuck Piggly Wiggly is, what the fuck is Piggly Wiggly? You know what's?

Kyle 59:00

fucking horseshit. What Winn-Dixie?

Ryan 59:03

I don't like Winn-Dixie.

Kyle 59:08

Those fucking suck dude.

Ryan 59:09

I'm not a fan of Winn-Dixie in fucking downtown over here and it's fucking trashy as hell.

Kyle 59:14

You ever see the movie Winn-Dixie about the fucking dog?

Carlos 59:16

No, no oh.

Kyle 59:17

There's a movie called Winn-Dixie. There's a book too.

Carlos 59:20

Yeah, it's based off the fucking book the dog dies and I never knew what the fuck Winn-Dixie was but the dog's name was Winn-Dixie.

Kyle 59:29

Did the dog? People love Dogs Dying?

Carlos 59:32

What's the name of that?

Ryan 59:33

It's like they do make a lot of movies off that shit. Winn-dixie.

Carlos 59:37

It's like a question, it's like Intern, what is it? Because of Winn-Dixie, because of Winn-Dixie.

Kyle 59:43

Oh, it's because of.

Carlos 59:43

Winn-Dixie. Yeah, yeah yeah, the dog is like a scruffy looking dog and it dies.

Kyle 59:49

Yeah and they oh. What's the plot? They find the dog and they fall in love with it and then it fucking dies. Every fucking dog movie it's a fucking heartbreaker that's why I fucking hate rom-coms. Oh no, they fucking hate each other at the beginning and then they start to get close and love each other, and then she leaves because he did something fucked up, and then they get back together at the end. Fuck you pussy.

Carlos 1:00:14

You're telling me you don't like a good rom-com.

Erick 1:00:15

No, you're touching the nerve. You're hitting the nerve, kyle. They fucking suck, that's my pet peeve. People who don't fucking.

Carlos 1:00:20

Rom-coms are good.

Kyle 1:00:21

I cannot like stuff. I don't fucking like. Rom-coms suck. Tell me a good rom-com, I'll fucking, I'll watch. Knocked Up. That's not a fucking rom-com yes, it is. That's a Seth Rogen movie. Is not rom-com, bro? Oh, 100% no, it's not, and I hate it. Knocked Up, same with like this Is 40.

Ryan 1:00:42

Fuck that shit the notebook.

Kyle 1:00:45

Oh my.

Ryan 1:00:45

God, I have never seen any of this shit.

Carlos 1:00:48

Hitch, hitch is good.

Kyle 1:00:51

Hitch is a good rom-com, hitch was only funny because Will Smith was in it 51st Dates 51st Dates Intern Intern Shut the fuck up. Intern 51st Dates. I will agree with Intern 51st Dates is good, but it's not a traditional I've never seen that one. It's not a traditional rom-com.

Carlos 1:01:07

I've never seen that one Anyone but you.

Ryan 1:01:10

Sidney Sweeney has the biggest tits.

Kyle 1:01:12

Is that her?

Ryan 1:01:12

That's. Sidney Sweeney, I was not a fan of her at first, and then I saw them tatas Game over.

Kyle 1:01:19

I'll tell you what. I guarantee you. That fucking movie sucked ass though Anybody fucking. Just look up Sidney Sweeney Big tits, fat ass. She doesn't have a fat ass, but she got big tits. And I'll tell you what. If you really like her, go on the Reddit and just search her euphoria scenes. My goodness.

Carlos 1:01:36

You are all about the Reddit.

Ryan 1:01:39

They're swinging dude. I told you Kyle fucking ruined my fucking life.

Carlos 1:01:42

He destroyed your dick he fucking ruined my life, you guys sure no he fucking ruined my life.

Ryan 1:01:48

I never knew about fucking Reddit, any of that shit, until I met his fucking ass Fucking. Three, four hours later, I'm stuck in a fucking rabbit hole. Why'd?

Kyle 1:01:56

you do that to him, you ruined him. You're on Reddit for three hours.

Carlos 1:01:59

Jesus. If the shoe fits, wear it, buddy. Is it like the Netflix thing he's like are you still watching?

Kyle 1:02:07

No, hell, no, that shit's fucking. You know it's good, because it'll fucking redirect you to a crazy ass link. It'll blur it out and it'll say NSFW. So make sure I'm not at work.

Ryan 1:02:18

Not safe for work. Look at it.

Kyle 1:02:19

But our intern knows I look at him at work, I look at not for safe shit at work.

Carlos 1:02:25

You look at him at work, or you look at the page at work.

Ryan 1:02:29

Kyle is the gooning legend. You're the edge Lord. No, he's the edgelord, but he's also a goon god.

Kyle 1:02:36

On Skibbity, no glaze. On Skibbity, no glaze, no glaze Our intern's going crazy right now.

Carlos 1:02:43

He just spazzed out.

Kyle 1:02:44

That's a new generation of lingo right there. Oh shit, that's brain rot.

Ryan 1:02:50

I don't know this guy. Sometimes I don't know this guy. Sometimes I don't know what the fuck he's talking about 10 episodes fellas 10 episodes.

Kyle 1:02:57

Yeah, we're here 10 fucking episodes.

Ryan 1:02:59

Dude, we made it I can't believe that.

Kyle 1:03:02

I mean, you look at it and it's like, yeah, it's really not that bad, it's really not that many.

Carlos 1:03:07

Do you go back and listen to our pods? Some of them, I make a point not to listen to sometimes I'll be listening and in the middle of it I'm like alright. I need to turn this off like you can get used to listening to yourself, but it's still very fucking weird just because of that reason, like it's weird listening to your voice it's very weird do you guys got anything to say to the people listening?

Erick 1:03:29

keep it coming dude.

Carlos 1:03:31

Why do you listen?

Ryan 1:03:33

I don't know if you listen to it.

Carlos 1:03:34

I love it, but it's so random it is I did. I did say like, as I got to know ryan more than anyone, I'm like dude. I need to put like a 24 pack of beer in front of him and just like write down everything he says I know these motherfuckers always tell me to wear a fucking gopro for my daily life.

Ryan 1:03:51

Yeah, it's hilarious. I know that bitch. Today I got into an argument with a fat bitch today. Yeah, what did you tell?

Carlos 1:03:56

me on the phone.

Ryan 1:03:57

A fat 40-year-old lady today was throwing a fit at me.

Carlos 1:04:00

I was like Ryan, just tell her to call the number. And what did you?

Ryan 1:04:03

say. I said I should have told her to go fucking eat a fucking otherunt to me. So I matched the energy and then she fucking turned it up a notch and I said, oh fuck.

Carlos 1:04:19

Ryan said he went super saiyan.

Ryan 1:04:22

That dumb bitch. She's been a fucking asshole to me.

Carlos 1:04:28

Yeah, I'm just sitting there telling her yes, ma they always get on your ass, fucking dumb cunts. Kyle, have you gotten anyone on your ass while we've been working this week?

Ryan 1:04:36

Well, it's whenever me and Kyle met that crazy, the fucking Tarzan motherfucker he said they see a big guy like Kyle.

Carlos 1:04:42

they're not coming up and saying anything to you, so they go up to you, they come up to me.

Ryan 1:04:46

They come and find me.

Kyle 1:04:48

Oh shit.

Ryan 1:04:49

Yeah, no I think a GoPro.

Kyle 1:04:51

We think it would be funny, but it'd be fucking depressing as shit For me, yeah, or for you. It'd be very depressing for us to watch you go about your regular day.

Ryan 1:05:00

I think it would be depressing for you too, kyle. No for sure.

Kyle 1:05:03

I'm not saying my shit is not fucking very extravagant, I think it would be for Carlos too.

Ryan 1:05:07

We're going to get a video of him, like three hours in a fucking playpen.

Kyle 1:05:14

Yeah, pan, yeah, you just see me running around. I don't think, I don't think you win the last time you fucking ran.

Carlos 1:05:17

Fat boy, don't run. That's not what I meant. Dude, chill. You're fucking two inches shorter than me, but you have 40 pounds I don't think that either of you could handle my kind of life that's fucking horse shit you think so, let's switch spots you want to switch? I am not leaving you in my house alone. Let's switch, switch. No, there's no way.

Kyle 1:05:35

One week dude.

Carlos 1:05:36

No way dude Maybe one day.

Ryan 1:05:38

What's that show called Wife Swap, wife Swap?

Carlos 1:05:41

I am not wife swapping you don't even have a wife to swap with me. I'll just be sitting in your fucking apartment on your beanbag Fucking with my VR.

Kyle 1:05:49

Yeah, but then you get the game and then I'd be fucking in your bed.

Carlos 1:05:52

I'm just like whoa, I'd be in your bed. No, dude, there's no way You'll have to reset my bed frame.

Ryan 1:06:02

What the fuck, carlos, you're fat too. Yeah, fucker, but this guy's bigger, he is bigger.

Kyle 1:06:08

Yeah, I'm a big guy. I've always been a big guy.

Carlos 1:06:10

Big dick too, dude, I fucking. I moved on my bed the other night and the frame fell and I was like fuck, it fell down. It caved in on you. I'm in my underwear trying to fix the frame underneath the bed, and I was just trying to sleep through it too, and I'm like this is way too slow, so I'm just laying. Were you laying?

Ryan 1:06:31

backwards or were your feet down? No?

Carlos 1:06:32

laying? Were you laying backwards or were your feet down? No, like my bed at the, or my head at the head of the bed and then my legs at the end, and I'm like this way and I'm like, alright, I gotta fix this shit, I'm not sleeping like this. Have you ever had to fix your bed frame.

Ryan 1:06:45

I don't have a bed frame.

Kyle 1:06:46

I always love imagining fucking Ryan, like that jackass skit where Wee man gets fucking jumped on by the big fat fucking lady, like Ryan just getting fucking-, suffocated, pounced by a fat fat lady.

Ryan 1:07:01

Well, kyle, I'm glad you brought that up, because do you want to tell everybody what happened when we were in Naples on Monday last week? Oh did we not talk about that? No, you guys did.

Kyle 1:07:09

Yeah, we talked about that, Just wait what happened yeah.

Ryan 1:07:14

I haven't.

Kyle 1:07:16

We talked about this.

Carlos 1:07:18

Do I not know about this? You do.

Kyle 1:07:21

Shut the fuck up, Carlos you know about this.

Carlos 1:07:24

That's a podcast.

Ryan 1:07:26

Let's end this bullshit.

Kyle 1:07:28

Episode 10. Shout out the socials man. Yo watch our reels. They're fucking going viral.

Ryan 1:07:36

Keep blowing the fucking reels up.

Carlos 1:07:37

What are you talking about over there?

Ryan 1:07:42

You look like a lesbian with those glasses.

Kyle 1:07:44

That's not a way to end the episode, man. This is our 10th one.

Erick 1:07:47

Weren't you going to tell us what happened? Just leave the fans some advice.

Ryan 1:07:53

Big tits, fat ass. That's the only way you can go about things. Hit up Ry Dog Actually. Yeah, hit me up.

Kyle 1:07:59

Oh yeah, dude, If we can get Ryan laid, that'd be nice.

Ryan 1:08:02

I'm going on a journey this weekend.

Kyle 1:08:04

Ooh, he's trying to get fucking pussy.

Carlos 1:08:06

Are you going to the place that you went before?

Ryan 1:08:08

No, no, no strip clubs. I was just fucking around. I no, no strip clubs, I was just fucking around. I'm not spending any money at the strip clubs. That's a lot of cheese.

Kyle 1:08:18

What are you trying?

Ryan 1:08:19

to be the muffin man. What are you doing, muffin man? I'm trying to be the muff god, yeah.

Kyle 1:08:22

That's what I'm trying to be. Trying to eat some Slash.

Ryan 1:08:26

Our intern knows all about the muff dude Ooh.

Kyle 1:08:32

You want to get some gash?

Ryan 1:08:33

up all in you, not in you on you. I want some butt, some female butt. You just want to sniff Buttholes. I want a tongue punch. Yeah, you love buttholes, you're trying to eat some ass.

Carlos 1:08:42

I am. You want to gape Gape Any Fleming Island women?

Kyle 1:08:49

Hey, chill, that's a podcast, thank you, for listening Bye.