Newest Lows
Get ready to laugh, cringe, and question the life choices of Kyle, Ryan, and Carlos as they share their most embarrassing, ridiculous, and downright stupid stories on Newest Lows! Join these three friends as they dive into the depths of their own ineptitude, and emerge with a newfound appreciation for the absurdity of life. New episodes released every Monday!
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Newest Lows
Episode 15: Carlos is back!!
Next, we lighten the mood with some candid chatter about personal grooming and the aging process. From hairline and eyebrow tattoos to the inevitable march of hair loss, we share laughs over our own experiences. The conversation takes a surprising turn as we discuss a chaotic political debate and the rising cost of everyday items like beer. Wrapping this section up, we share a humorous story about an unusually short coworker, weaving together humor and relatable everyday moments.
Things get intense as we dive into upcoming court appearances, bizarre legal tactics, and casino strategies that might just make or break your night. We discuss the absurdity of a hacker potentially facing life for leaking GTA 6 and reminisce about the oddities of social distancing during the pandemic. The episode reaches a fever pitch with a heated debate on politics, personal choices, and even the logistics of podcasting from jail. Join us for a rollercoaster of emotions, plenty of laughs, and the raw honesty you've come to expect from our show.
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newestlows
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newestlows
Email us:
newestlows@gmail.com
Welcome.
Speaker 2:We're on, fellas. Oh, we're live, we're back.
Speaker 3:No camera.
Speaker 4:We're raw yeah we're raw.
Speaker 3:I think uh, Carlos, you're back, I'm back. You've been gone for a while, it seems.
Speaker 4:I took a little vacation.
Speaker 3:Where'd you go? What'd you do? Who'd you see?
Speaker 4:I was building homes for the less fortunate out in Africa.
Speaker 2:So we're not going to have any video on this one.
Speaker 3:No video. I think, as of right now, video is a little too much. We got shit going on. Yeah, we got a lot of shit going on. All of us we're busy people yeah, we are. Eric can't do everything by himself, so we're just taking a break, kind of I guess. I mean, we're still uploading all the audio. Yeah, that was fine. You know what my stepdad said, though he was fucking. I was like I was telling him.
Speaker 2:I was like I don't think we're gonna be doing video anymore hey, I'm on the mic, though if I'm on the camera, I'm on the mic yeah, eric's on mic now but he's like oh damn, I like watching the videos.
Speaker 3:This is all like some people do like watching them yeah more than listening, but fuck it yeah, I'm sure there's a.
Speaker 4:It's nice to put voice to faces though, like in the, in the action but the boys are back in town.
Speaker 3:You obviously were not building any schools for african children you don't think so no, you can barely support one kid you don't think I can support more.
Speaker 4:Carlos is back carlos is back.
Speaker 1:Oh man, that boy's back. Yeah, that's not what you were doing at all. You were at the Pride 5K race. Oh yeah.
Speaker 3:You did go to the Pride 5K. That was the last time that we spoke. Yeah, how did that go?
Speaker 4:Honestly, it was supposed to go a lot longer than it did. I got there and I guess the gays were itching to finish because it was done by the time I got there.
Speaker 3:Everyone's packing up, aren't they always?
Speaker 4:Oh yeah.
Speaker 3:Damn. So you literally just went there.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I got there and it was done. Everything was packed up. I was like damn, I wanted to walk around or something, just to see how it was.
Speaker 2:How late were you?
Speaker 4:I got there at 10 o'clock. Damn, it started at like 830, 9 o'clock.
Speaker 1:They were running a 5K in an hour.
Speaker 4:Maybe there weren't that many people participating.
Speaker 3:Well, 5k is really not that long, it's only three miles.
Speaker 4:It's like 3.2 miles. It was like the downtown stretch. They ran behind Dr Phillips and stuff.
Speaker 3:Me and my family did a fucking Thanksgiving Day 5K on the beach, like our first Thanksgiving down here On the beach the beach, bro beach. That's the worst it was. So I don't have I talked about this on here, do you run?
Speaker 1:I don't think so. I didn't. I never heard this before no, I mean you could.
Speaker 3:We were all. I was in sneakers, we were on sneakers. But we started, everybody lined up and at the very beginning all of us were walking. It was like me. My mom said that my little brother and we were all walking and everybody was jogging. We were like fuck, we actually have to run this thing. Maybe we should jog at least a little bit. And then we would get tired and we just walked dude, running in sand is hard.
Speaker 4:It's terrible. Yeah, it's the worst. I feel like you would have to be in those glove shoes, like the ones that all your toes are in the slots, the vibrams, I guess yeah, I used to have a pair of those.
Speaker 3:Yeah, oh my god, are they comfortable? No, yeah, I didn't. I wouldn't think they were. No, and this was like right when they came out and they were like the most fucking gay shoes you could ever have so you just had them. I never wore them anywhere. I was too embarrassed because you would have to buy, like, um, if you wanted to wear socks with, you had to buy their special socks, like the low ankle socks. But they all the all the toes were there.
Speaker 1:It is a specific person that wears them very specific, very very specific I mean dare I say yeah, so it's like a mitten, yeah yeah, carlos no, is this when you were up, north or down?
Speaker 3:here? Yeah, no, I was in colorado at this time. Why?
Speaker 4:would you need those living in colorado?
Speaker 3:they're just fucking. This is when I was big into lifting. I was like there's all the all the shit about like lifting barefoot is better and like doing all the shit barefoot yeah like you start to walk different when you don't have all that cushion that's true, you're like flat-footed you're like supposed to walk with your toes, almost I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 3:Instead of heel to toe, you're supposed to like kind of like a little cat, just go around around. Well, shit, if you don't got any fucking you know, imagine a day how much fucking shit would people step on, stepping on fucking rocks and shit hard times make hard people shit living syringes living in yeah, I don't know if they had syringes back then. Rocks Just in mud, Get fucking AIDS. But yeah, Eric is no camera going on. Eric's fully on the mic. I'm on the mic, fellas. Hopefully we'll just keep it that way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, it's just like it does take a while to do the videos, so I do need a break from that.
Speaker 3:Eric's too much of a perfectionist.
Speaker 4:He wants to make him too good. Yeah, it is a lot, man. You really incorporated all the animation and stuff like coming in on the youtube videos.
Speaker 2:I love doing it, don't get me wrong, I love doing it, but the thing is it's just, it takes a lot of time out of my day to do it, not even my day. It takes like a whole couple of days, oh yeah, I'm sure yeah, that's why we got to outsource that At some point.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we'll just pay someone else. Yeah, we gotta start making money on this.
Speaker 2:We need an intern. Oh god, we'll call Ryan's buddy.
Speaker 3:Who? Who needs work right now? One of your boys.
Speaker 1:Someone needs work. Who are you talking about? I'm so confused, I don't know.
Speaker 3:You definitely have a boy who just got out Out to clink Out, to clink Out, to clink Out, to clink. He might need some work. He might need a job.
Speaker 2:What's been up with you, ryan, hanging the fuck out.
Speaker 4:New tats. You got some new tats on.
Speaker 3:I do, you did what did you say about it?
Speaker 1:You weren't a fan of them when he first?
Speaker 2:showed you. Carlos said I yeah, like a 60 overall.
Speaker 4:One listen, I did say that you do look like you know you spent the last couple of coins on some tats, but they are clean tats.
Speaker 3:A couple of coins no, the artist is good I don't I don't. I don't quite see the vision yet, but the artist is good.
Speaker 4:Oh yeah, they are really nice tattoos. Shout out your, your boy. Shout out my boy, barrett. Oh, and to Instagram, instagram. Do you want to put that info out?
Speaker 3:Get him some fucking clientele.
Speaker 1:My can is Barrett Inks. Go look him up on the gram.
Speaker 4:Hell yeah, he's nice, they'll probably see your tattoos on you, right? Huh, they'll probably see the tattoos on that post then, Jacksonville, jacksonville, that's my Clay County boy, all the Duval boys hit up that boy.
Speaker 3:Shout out Jacksonville Bro, that fucking Trevor Lawrence contract.
Speaker 1:Signed a fat contract 200 what? 275 million?
Speaker 3:200 guaranteed and then $142 million signing bonus, just to lose in the wild card game. He looks fucking. I don't like the way he looks hey, he got his fucking wife pregnant. I have a baby now well, that's what you're supposed to do when you have a wife. Is that so you're supposed to have?
Speaker 4:yeah, make a family is that what you hear?
Speaker 1:isn't that what you did? Kyle's a big I do that. He's a big relationship guy, but you know how it is, but but what?
Speaker 4:I think they've heard it in the past couple pods yeah, carlos is our most avid listener. Probably he's our most avid listener I'm like did you guys listen to the pod? You were like I can't listen to that you love listening to him.
Speaker 3:You you get the raw unedited ones though.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I do when ryan's being obscure, obscure, yeah, offensive elaborate.
Speaker 3:I'm not going to, we cannot damn what else has been going on. Yeah you, why are you gone for so long?
Speaker 4:you know, man, just like eric said, you know you gotta set some time aside to he had his fucking hair treatment surgery because he's got a really bad you aren't fucking going, so ball that hurts, dude, I know it does you know I don't have really many buttons, but that is one, that lot, it's only two, but they're, they hurt too you're gonna fucking hear them.
Speaker 3:We got new sounds. Yeah, dude, have you ever thought about hair replacement like therapy, all that shit? Not quite yet. Have you seen how fucked they look? It literally looks like you with a fucked. They look it literally looks like you with a like after the surgery. It looks like you with a buzz cut like a chia pet, like where it's all like all red and like bleeding you are.
Speaker 1:You are a fucking chia that's not how.
Speaker 2:That's not how my hair looks after every follicle you would rock like a shave cut though, like I did I know and you can see every single hair yeah, I'm talking like skin you think I'm handsome, handsome enough to go bald I'd be, curious.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean, you're essentially already get there when you get a cut carl, you look like you can go bald.
Speaker 4:No, I'll do it if you do it, but you don't look like you can go bald you looked fucking terrible with the bus cut.
Speaker 1:You looked terrible, fresh out of fucking jail.
Speaker 4:Oh yeah, you're a skinhead at that point that bus cut was so fun.
Speaker 3:You literally look like fucking shenado connor and gi jane get the fuck out, is that?
Speaker 4:who played her I don't know, but I know who you're talking about, gi jane. It was for real. Gi jane, you love it. You look like that toy off a toy story. That's the spider with a baby head on it.
Speaker 3:Shut the fuck up, no, that's what I said you look like, because it's got like five hairs sticking out quite, let's just go get a hair, uh, a hairline tattoo there's a hairline tattoo.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I've been seeing videos like have you seen the? People that make them beards yeah, those are the wild eventually they turn green. So like even the eyebrows, like when people tattoo the eyebrows you see an old lady. My grandma tattooed it For real. How does it look, kyle?
Speaker 3:I fucking love my grandma. Is it faded green? I don't know. Actually I don't really stare at her eyebrows, but for real you really can't tell. But you stare unless you're like up close. You fucking lose your hair when you get old man fucking chill out.
Speaker 4:That's fine, you, you're losing.
Speaker 3:You're making fun of fucking young well, it happens to all of us, not gonna happen to me, it's definitely. Eric's got a strong fucking hairline.
Speaker 1:Eric has a good hairline I'm not losing my fucking hair either. Why are you laughing, buddy?
Speaker 3:I got a good fucking hairline well, that's just because you put pull it back put your headphones back on, man jesus christ man, it's not that hard what do you?
Speaker 4:I don't think it's long enough.
Speaker 2:No, man, jesus Christ man, it's not that hard. What do you? I don't think it's long enough.
Speaker 3:No, yeah, not too bad. Let me see Ryan's pulling his hair back, bro, if your hair wasn't.
Speaker 4:if you didn't have so many, so much hair, your forehead will be fucking out there. Yeah, how big is your forehead?
Speaker 1:Shut the fuck up. I do not have a big fucking forehead.
Speaker 4:Pull your hair up again, just like that.
Speaker 3:It just protrudes out a little bit, but I can't talk that much about a protruding forehead.
Speaker 1:My forehead is fine.
Speaker 3:Yeah, just wrinkly. Oh my God, you look fucking old. Oh my God, I kind of look like Joe Biden. You've been working outside too fucking long.
Speaker 2:Sleepy joe, oh yeah you.
Speaker 3:You say you watched the fucking debate. That debate happened last night. Did you guys catch the debate?
Speaker 4:I didn't see fucking anything on have you seen clips on it or anything, just the one I watched this morning. It was a fucking comic like set. I swear to god it was a shit show. They said the rules before which were you know, um, no audience. You only got like a minute or two to talk. You mute your mic when you're not talking. And joe biden came out and he was waving at nobody, he was just waving at the audience.
Speaker 3:That wasn't there that wasn't there, nice, wow nice it was pretty funny did trump fucking dominate?
Speaker 4:trump definitely won debate just because he was able to speak, form sentences and like stay on track.
Speaker 3:That shit is very arguing about golf they're arguing about golf.
Speaker 4:They were like they're saying how like stupid each one was. They're like this guy's an idiot or he's completely wrong. He's stupid it's so funny, it has all turned into just reality television it really is like it used to be a dignified kind of thing, and now it's not, like they're just arguing about personal shit and it's like what about the country? Isn't that your job?
Speaker 3:yeah, I don't know. I feel like we're pretty, we're cool. You think you were good. I'm doing all alright. It's pretty fucking Getting pricey out there, but yeah, god damn, everything's expensive.
Speaker 4:We were just talking about how much beer's gone up. Oh yeah, beer's fucking so expensive now, I feel like it used to be like $12.99 for a 12 pack. Now it's like $15.99, $16.99 More man, yeah, you can get it like 17 bucks, depends on what beer you get but, like was 17.99 at 7-eleven.
Speaker 3:I don't understand why is fucking modelo and corona so expensive pretty good, it's mexican made imported. But it's like, bro, what do you mean? Your dogs can't afford it. All the dogs you got here, oh, they afford it all. Right, they do. They spend their whole day every fucking it's so funny a racetrack or any gas station, especially after payday, but they all come in like 20 in the neon shirts, with cash in hand, all carrying racks of beer.
Speaker 4:It's awesome, yeah you, you also, uh, wear neon shirts, don't you? Yeah, yeah, you used to too, buddy, yeah, I've seen the buses.
Speaker 2:You've seen the buses.
Speaker 1:I've seen.
Speaker 3:Eric's hometown, all those fucking five foot two little Mexicans running around picking strawberries.
Speaker 1:Did you see the little Mexican at the racetrack this week?
Speaker 3:No, I don't think so Define little Mexican.
Speaker 4:I thought it was a child but he was not a child.
Speaker 1:He was sitting in the front seat are you sure he was mexican?
Speaker 4:yeah, he's in the landscaping truck how'd you confirm he wasn't a child? How can you confirm he was in another race because he was sitting in the front seat?
Speaker 1:of the truck driver? No, in the passenger seat. Oh, but he worked there. Yeah he was. He was like two, he was probably like 2'8", like 2'9".
Speaker 4:What Come on, man that's like this A midget.
Speaker 1:He maybe was not even to my waist.
Speaker 4:He was a midget. You're shitting me. Swear to God, would they have him on the blower?
Speaker 1:It was at the gas station you want to take a. He was really too.
Speaker 4:Wait, that's small as hell. He was that small. Was he like four foot or like two?
Speaker 1:No, like I like towered over him Like he would maybe up to my waist.
Speaker 3:What the fuck was that? What the fuck was that guy? Not much Chill out, man.
Speaker 2:He's getting hungry for the little Mexicans On my tummy.
Speaker 4:You would eat a little Mexican cod.
Speaker 3:What?
Speaker 4:the fuck would he do? That's what I'm saying. Would they have him on the blower?
Speaker 3:Nah, it'd be like picking up leaves and shit. He could probably run the edge right.
Speaker 4:They're like you're literally the weed eater. He's just down there eating weeds. He's very, yeah, he's the pickup guy.
Speaker 3:He's just down there eating weeds. He's very yeah, he's the pickup guy. He's very close to the ground. He'd be picking shit up for sure.
Speaker 4:That boy don't even have to bend down.
Speaker 1:There was five of them in the truck and he was in the passenger seat. I have to see this, bro.
Speaker 4:Please get a picture next time. Yeah, why don't you take a picture? I don't want to get caught. Well, don't you guys go to the same gas station?
Speaker 3:No, I'm not a fucking weirdo like Ryan.
Speaker 1:What do you mean? One of our coworkers pointed him out to me.
Speaker 3:Ryan's always fucking snooping on people and doing weird shit. I am.
Speaker 4:I am. You are a snooper, bro, snooping.
Speaker 3:Doing fucking your own investigations. That don't mean anything.
Speaker 1:You're in the wrong line of work. Buddy, I just creeped you out because I asked you one question what? And you told me I'm a very creepy guy, you're a fucking creepy guy Background check.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you're doing dollar background checks on everybody.
Speaker 4:It's scary how much you could find out, though, with just that dollar it is.
Speaker 1:It was a free trial. It was a free seven-day trial for $1. And I got 120 different people I could search up.
Speaker 3:So it wasn't free, it was $1. Wasn't free, it was one dollar. It was one dollar. All right, even that. I mean, come on, yeah, that's not okay. And you said my dad's first and middle name don't say it right now and I looked at you and then you just said it again and you were like giving me like a weird smile.
Speaker 4:You're like smiling very strange at me and like almost laughing like what the fuck, before that he came up, or we were talking the night before and you're like I'm going to hit Kyle with this.
Speaker 1:You two don't want to hit.
Speaker 4:Kyle, what are you talking?
Speaker 1:about, Because I did one on you and then I did one on Eric. You're like oh, do one on Kyle.
Speaker 4:Yeah, but then you found his whole family history.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you got my family tree. It is good to know they don't have my current address.
Speaker 1:I thought they didn't have mine either, but they did.
Speaker 4:Do you?
Speaker 1:want to talk about it.
Speaker 4:I don't know. No, no, no, I don't think you should.
Speaker 2:I don't think you should why.
Speaker 4:It's up to you. At the end of the day, it is what it is no, I got served.
Speaker 1:I got served on fucking Wednesday last week. Really, I got corn on Tuesday 8.30 am. It's not even like a big deal, though.
Speaker 3:No, I'm just going to have to pay like six or seven grand. Well, explain What'd you do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like, should you elaborate, or what? I took out a personal loan and I paid some of it off and I said fuck it. And then they came after you. Well yeah, they had like five fucking private investigators looking at me for like six months.
Speaker 3:How did they not find you? I guess I was doing good. I feel like you'd be so easy to find.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Dude, I told my boy I was like I was doing a good job hiding. I didn't even know I needed to be hiding. I was just hiding, I guess, Skulking around.
Speaker 4:Oh yeah, they were definitely watching.
Speaker 1:But yeah.
Speaker 3:I mean you should have known, because you got the letter on your door saying they're fucking looking for you and then, two days later, he came knocking again.
Speaker 1:I didn't answer.
Speaker 3:He was like obviously that dude was scoping your fucking parking lot waiting for your ass.
Speaker 1:He was chilling. Well, I did a background check on him. I know where he lives. That's where this whole fucking background check shit started.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, exactly him up and then you had all his information.
Speaker 3:yeah, you like thought he was coming at you with some fuck shit I did. It was like he just got hired to find somebody. He's like that's their job as a server.
Speaker 4:I think the funniest part is I mean when you truly met, like he served you. He was like a chill guy yeah, you like were chopping it up with him.
Speaker 3:That was it was like I said, they just get their server. I would hate that job, though that.
Speaker 1:That's a terrible job. It's a process server, yeah, a process server you have to find people and they have to.
Speaker 3:I'm pretty sure they have to, you have to, was he like. Are you Ryan Davis?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you said, yeah, you have to verbally get confirmation that that is their name, because I was thinking about lying, but then when he dropped the paperwork he had a picture of my ID. So he would have just pulled the picture up and been like oh, this isn't you, oh, fuck.
Speaker 4:That's crazy.
Speaker 3:You could have just said no, yeah, I mean what if you did say no? But even though he said that he's like you're going to compare the face and what. Oh yeah, that's.
Speaker 4:true, that is true, yeah, honestly, did you a favor?
Speaker 3:that's what he's saying that's what he told me yeah he told me chill as dude because he had a warrant for fucking five grand five grand bro, that's wild yeah, it's like crazy to me that there's, but they spend that much money trying to get five grand out of because you gotta let you have a loan through them too, right I? Do yeah those fuckers I didn't plan on defaulting on it. I didn't either till you did until I, until I did buddy.
Speaker 1:It is what it is. I know because the fucking the lawyer's office that is representing them that I got to go see on Tuesday. They fucking called me yesterday this dumb, fat, ignorant cunt. I'd fucking cussed her out.
Speaker 3:How do?
Speaker 1:you know she's fat. I could just tell in her voice Sounded like she had been eating me chickens all day. Oh, is this Ryan Davis? I said yes. I said is this the law office? She said yes. I said stop fucking calling me. I said stop fucking calling me. I said I got the letter, I got served. I will see you fucking dickheads on Tuesday. Stop, yeah. On the phone I said stop calling me. What the fuck? I already got to go to court and what'd?
Speaker 4:she say again on tuesday. I don't care like we've been recording every conversation they record all their phone call 100.
Speaker 3:There's no way they don't damn watch them. Fucking get you for like 50 g's. Yeah, what if you go?
Speaker 2:in there. Now they say because of saying that, 50 grand for real bud dwyer out, bring a gun no, don't, don't, don't bring a gun, it's quite but, calm down calm down
Speaker 3:I don't want to hurt anybody. That fucking shit is so crazy.
Speaker 4:You wouldn't be able to even get through the front door with the gun on you?
Speaker 3:No, probably not nowadays. No, no, for sure not.
Speaker 1:Wow, it is what it is.
Speaker 3:At this point, I'm going to go see what's going on Walk in If they try to do that shit, say I have a gun in my car, I'm going to kill everyone in here if this happens.
Speaker 1:I was just thinking about telling him I'm retarded. I didn't even know what I was doing For real take another IQ test, Bomb it.
Speaker 3:You don't have to try to bomb it, You'll just bomb it. Watch him do good. You pick all the right answers For real. Just bring the fucking results. Do you think they'd give you a pass if you brought up the IQ test? I feel like they have to. Something that is how they measure your intelligence is IQ.
Speaker 4:You just didn't know what you were doing, and if you're not intelligent, you can't really know what you're doing Exactly or just fucking go and do this.
Speaker 3:You go in and try to act fucking schizophrenic and crazy.
Speaker 4:You just get bigger acting.
Speaker 3:So the penalty is is less and it's like a fucking two grand. Fine, and that's it. You like end up spending the night it makes it worse you're in a stray jacket you go to shutter island?
Speaker 2:oh yeah, did you ever?
Speaker 3:see those fucking. I used to watch interrogations all the fucking time like uh, jcs, like breakdown interrogations on youtube and shit it's fucking cool. But like there's people that go in and like try to act like they're fucking nuts yeah, they're like staring it's fucking awesome and it's.
Speaker 3:They're always like. This is do not do this, like these places that they're gonna send you if they find you like mentally insane are not better than prison. No, you're fucked in there. No, they treat you. Find you like mentally insane are not better than prison. No, you're fucked in there.
Speaker 4:No, they treat you like you're mentally insane and you're never getting out no, that's a money grab dude the fucking.
Speaker 1:What is a gta6 hacker? He got life in a mental institution, god damn for what? Because he's a danger to himself and his society like a danger to others. Damn gta6 has what did he do?
Speaker 4:I think he leaked all the shit from gta6 like the like, a like a danger to others. Damn, gta 6 has that much. What did he do?
Speaker 1:I think he just he leaked all the shit from GTA 6, like the like a week before or maybe a couple days before he did it.
Speaker 2:That's why he has to they had to like put it out what the trailer early.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah he said in court, when he gets out he's gonna do it again so he got life in a mental institution, that's he's just on the fucking net, dude hacking shit. Danger to himself and the society, I guess for leaking a video game.
Speaker 4:That's crazy shit. I mean GTA 6, though that's. I can't wait shit that's gonna be a big.
Speaker 1:GTA 6. Do you think they can't take him on? Can they take him to jail?
Speaker 4:no, no, unless they do, for they can hold you contempt of court if you start freaking out that's what I was thinking.
Speaker 1:Yeah, don't do that. You're just in there, don't? Do that Should I have a couple beers before I go. I object no.
Speaker 2:I shouldn't. No, you got to be on your A game, yeah you cannot freak out like you always do talking to people.
Speaker 4:What time's the hearing 8.30 am. All right, so 6.30. You're going to go to McDonald's get you a sausage.
Speaker 3:He's not waking up at 6.30.
Speaker 4:Listen.
Speaker 1:I'm telling you what he needs to do why the fuck would I go to McDonald's?
Speaker 3:You're going to be late.
Speaker 1:Don't say that You're going to be late.
Speaker 4:I'm trying to set you up so you're not late. You wake up at 6.30. Wake up, get dressed, shower. You already have deodorant on because you put it on the night before. Wake up, go to McDonald's, get a sausage, mcgriddle, hash brown and orange juice. No, then you go straight to the hearing. You do it. You come back, have a couple beers You're off for a day. Have a couple beers, Celebrate because you're good and you only got to pay two grand. You'll be all right.
Speaker 3:Nothing is set in stone I don't in court. That goes to a fucking goes to Landshark right Daytona gets arrested for like drunk and disorderly.
Speaker 4:Oh shit, you're bringing it to fruition, buddy.
Speaker 3:You know what you're wearing?
Speaker 4:He just has a tank top on and some fucking boxers.
Speaker 2:You know what?
Speaker 4:you're wearing.
Speaker 1:What are you wearing? The Christmas party outfit.
Speaker 3:Is this last year or the year before?
Speaker 1:I'm not wearing.
Speaker 2:Fucking the muscle Santa with the beer, koozie you know what I mean penny loafers, nice button down butt shoes.
Speaker 1:I don't want. I owe these people five grand. I don't want to.
Speaker 3:I have to dress nice you know, what.
Speaker 4:I mean like I have to dress?
Speaker 3:oh, I thought you were going to say the opposite you're going to dress, that you can literally just like go and sweet talk the judge and like be super nice and considerate, and they'll lower it or drop it, they'll do all yeah, don't give them a hard time.
Speaker 2:Just have you guys seen that old guy. It's like, um, he's like a judge, but he's always like, because you did that they always like exempts them from like the thing I don't know if you guys ever seen yeah, the dude with the glasses.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, yeah should.
Speaker 3:I start crying yeah is that one of the reality TV guys?
Speaker 4:no, no but like he's, uh, he's like a Instagram, like real kind of guy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you'll see him every once in a while, real sympathetic yeah, he's like.
Speaker 4:the dude was talking about how like he didn't have like enough for the bus barely, and he, how much is it, how far is it? And then he like just denies his ticket or whatever you don't have to pay for it. Do that.
Speaker 3:Ryan, hell yeah.
Speaker 4:Yeah, do that, ryan, be a judge.
Speaker 3:Just tell him why you couldn't fucking pay. He'll say I got too many goddamn bills.
Speaker 4:Two dogs, Two dogs. He's like too many bills.
Speaker 3:You want me to kill my dogs. Is that what you're telling me? You want me to kill my dogs?
Speaker 4:to pay this loan.
Speaker 2:Gaslight them, bro, and then show them the IQ test and then be like and look at this Hopefully it's a bitch.
Speaker 3:They always see him as a lady. Oh, it's a dude.
Speaker 4:I feel like women are worse.
Speaker 1:They are, they are, they're going to be assholes.
Speaker 3:You ever see that one clip of the one where it's like uh, it's the lady judge, and she, like, recognizes the dude from like school, elementary school?
Speaker 4:yeah, she was like he used to be such a nice, like a nice guy not anymore.
Speaker 3:The dude starts like bawling. He's like oh my god, I was. She was like what happened to you?
Speaker 4:he's like you see, the one where the guy was uh convicted for stealing a dolphinins jersey and he showed up wearing a Dolphins jersey.
Speaker 1:Now the best one was what was it? What did he say? Hold on, I'm parking right now, oh yeah, that guy.
Speaker 3:You know that was just like a mix-up.
Speaker 2:Apparently it was.
Speaker 3:He wasn't in court for a suspended license. It was like a clerical mess-up in the office.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because they told him that he has a warrant out for him if he doesn't turn himself in by like 6 pm or something he's like I'm pulling in right now, right now, like when everybody thought that was like legit, that was so funny, dude, it was funny.
Speaker 3:He's like wait, oh, I'm backing in right now the judge was like is this guy driving? But yeah, apparently it was just like an error in the uh clerk's office and they like put the wrong thing down on his. It wasn't a suspended license, it was some other bullshit that he. It is still so funny to be fucking driving and zooming into a court date. Yeah, nowadays it's fucking can you still do? They still do zoom court, apparently they do. That's fucking crazy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know they were doing it. They were doing it for COVID, like they stopped it.
Speaker 4:You'll occasionally see someone wearing a mask in public.
Speaker 3:Oh still yeah, not really much down here Sometimes. No, that's not true, I just saw one in public today.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, something's going around. No, I think they do. Zoom calls for people who you do, that I do appreciate that yeah zoom in, zoom in. While you're, I'm taking the day off Just on a roof in a restaurant. You're like hold up.
Speaker 3:See, but you can show them. Be like I'm on a roof in a restaurant.
Speaker 4:I'm an honest guy, I'm working.
Speaker 1:I just hope they don't try to pull my pay stubs or something, because that would be fucked.
Speaker 3:I don't know to say you literally probably don't have to say anything other than I couldn't afford it yeah, you can even say you couldn't afford a lawyer.
Speaker 2:Why do?
Speaker 3:you need a lawyer I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't think you need a lawyer, it's just my mom wants me to get one.
Speaker 2:I thought you know she told you to see, but this is a free lawyer public defendant.
Speaker 1:my mom did tell me to keep bucking that dude she did. Once I got that orange slip she's like, yeah, just avoid him at all costs.
Speaker 3:See, but this is pre-trial.
Speaker 1:But this is the only hearing that I have.
Speaker 3:Right for a pre-trial? Yeah, it only needs one hearing. If they decide to take it to trial, then get a fucking lawyer.
Speaker 1:If it goes to trial. Can I go to fucking jail for that? I'm no lawyer, because I called the public defender's office and they said it's a civil pro bono case. I don't know what that means.
Speaker 3:It's probably just like a technical term Pro bono is not getting paid.
Speaker 4:Yeah, they're doing it for free, okay.
Speaker 3:So a civil case.
Speaker 1:Damn Ryan. That's why the name is the newest Lowe's.
Speaker 3:I still don't understand why the fuck they're coming at you so hard for 5G.
Speaker 1:That's not that much, it's $4,900, and then with the lawyer fees, it's $6,100. That's it, jesus man. But if we settle up, I don't have to pay the lawyer fees and it's only $4,900.
Speaker 3:That's all it's going to. Then the judge is going to decide how much you have to pay. And then because for these things they have all those parking, parking ticket people there, you're going to be sitting in a line in the courtroom and people are just going up one after another. You're just another body. It's going to be quick, it's not going to be anything. You're harping on it a lot, but it's just another fucking case, another folder if anything, you just have to pay some money that's it.
Speaker 4:You should just go crazy, bro. Just start fucking swinging on people I'm not paying this shit.
Speaker 2:Be like that one guy. You guys ever seen that video where that dude jumps into the judge?
Speaker 1:oh hell yeah, when he fucked the lady judge up, that was bad, that was like kicking her you should start freestyling, like that.
Speaker 4:One dude just start singing.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, sorry that's wild.
Speaker 3:I've never been into a courtroom this will be my.
Speaker 1:It's been 10 years since I've been in court for myself never been so it's a long lasting time. I know cause I just had to get on a payment plan with my with another credit card company. Cause, I cause, cause I got I got an email and it was like I was like oh fuck, I'm not going through this shit again wait so you've been through this before. No, I just fucking made my first payment today, god bless paying off another debt, your, your Honor.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, sir, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 4:He's like all right, this guy definitely can't do this.
Speaker 2:Well, hopefully we have you again next week.
Speaker 1:Hopefully so To be continued To be determined, I guess.
Speaker 4:What are you over there looking at Kyle?
Speaker 3:I'm going to make a. I'm going to make a In the middle of a pod. Yeah, I'm going to make a.
Speaker 4:I'm going to make a In the middle of a pod.
Speaker 1:Yeah, can you focus up? Please Make it a bet. It's fucking storming out though.
Speaker 3:Cincinnati Reds or the Cardinals Reds, I'm going to go.
Speaker 4:You're saying the Reds, I'm going to say Cards, who's pitching?
Speaker 3:Alright, not to bring this to a screeching. Halt Frankie Montes and Andre Palante. I have a dude, a Discord. Or halt Frankie Montaz and Andre Palante. I have a dude, a Discord or a Telegram guy. He put 2K on the fucking Cardinals winning.
Speaker 1:What's the payout?
Speaker 4:They're minus 130. I'd say the Reds. Final answer Bring me my money. How much are you putting down? I was going to put 50 on it. How much?
Speaker 3:do you want 50?
Speaker 4:75.
Speaker 3:Money won much are you putting down? I was gonna put 50 on it. How much? 50 um 75. 50 will be 92 dollars. But if I go the reds, like you want me to, 50 will be 110 dollars. What are the records? I don't fucking know. Man, just go to the casino. They don't start for another hour. It's fine, it's $50 will be $110.
Speaker 2:What are the records?
Speaker 3:I don't fucking know, man, just go to the casino. They don't start for another hour, it's fine. It's fine. We don't got to fucking talk about it right now. Oh yeah, we got to fucking. It's been storming every fucking day down here, man, it's raining. It's been storming every fucking day Is it raining, men, damn damn.
Speaker 1:I knew you were kind of gay carlos. I'm not carlos, not that I'm saying it's a bad thing what did you text me six times yesterday?
Speaker 3:what did you keep calling?
Speaker 1:me? And what did you call me four, three or four times today?
Speaker 4:yeah, can I say it on on the air, a bundle of sticks yeah, no, you can't.
Speaker 3:That's how off-limit it is. Oh wait, can we now?
Speaker 2:because we're not I don't think so no shit I didn't call you anything.
Speaker 4:You know what I called you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, kyle you like men you called me what british people call cigarettes yeah, that's what I was implying you six times and I didn't do anything well all I said was do? I have work tomorrow and you said you're a fucking carlos carlos am I lying?
Speaker 4:am I lying?
Speaker 3:what do you really matter? It's fucking rude and yeah, I'm not fucking gay man I didn't say you're gay.
Speaker 4:I didn't even say anything. I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't bring up gay at all.
Speaker 2:It's okay, if you're gay, we were on an island. Who would go gay first On an island?
Speaker 1:Yeah, ryan, how many people are there.
Speaker 2:Just us four, us four.
Speaker 1:Why the fuck would we go gay?
Speaker 2:What the fuck? Well, how many times do you masturbate?
Speaker 1:That's a fucking personal question there buddy.
Speaker 4:That's true, eric.
Speaker 2:That's early episodes, we're past that We'd have to eat Kyle first.
Speaker 4:You got to get Okay if all three of us ganged up on you.
Speaker 3:All three of you would have to come.
Speaker 4:I would just stick a fucking stick through your throat, dude.
Speaker 3:Because we already know I can handle Carlos. I can handle both of you by myself. We wrestled.
Speaker 4:By myself. I could take you, and Ryan Carlos was also wearing a fucking motorcycle helmet. I was wearing a motorcycle helmet Throwing.
Speaker 3:Eric into the mix might.
Speaker 4:Eric is the boss.
Speaker 3:He would be the boss. Yeah, he would make you guys fight me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we would get you tired. Ryan, you go first.
Speaker 4:He just fucking gets knocked the fuck out. I feel like after that, you guys would just join forces and then team up on me and ryan, but that's what I always don't get, I would eat ryan first I would eat ryan first. Why you're too much of a liability.
Speaker 3:I think. I think all three of us would come together and be like he's gonna fucking get us killed out here ryan's drinking we only have one water, he's eating all the food he's like I'm hungry, I'm sorry absolutely we're like where's the water?
Speaker 4:I was like I was thirsty. Jesus fucking christ, carlos, I mean, are we lying?
Speaker 3:yeah but carlos would be like the fucking forager he'd go looking for berries and shit.
Speaker 4:Let the real men do the work I'll bring eric, but I'd be the one foraging, because I can tell that's true.
Speaker 3:Eric has the eye for it eric has an eye for it. But eric gotta make sure it's okay eric knows the good shit when he sees it out in the fucking in the wild.
Speaker 4:Yeah I'm like eric, is this okay?
Speaker 3:oh yeah that one's good man.
Speaker 2:I'm damn. You just outed eric. I don't think we'd survive. I'm colorblind.
Speaker 4:That was good Damn you just outed, Eric. I don't think we'd survive very long.
Speaker 2:I think we'd do just fucking fine. I think, we'd like at least three months. Three months, because all you got to do you can fish, yeah, fish and start a fire. That's number one.
Speaker 3:Build a shelter. Well, if it's some, yeah, build a shelter. Start a fire be able to fish. Find food yeah, find food.
Speaker 1:Squirrels there has to be squirrels.
Speaker 3:Dude, but you know, I'm fucking going out immediately. I get those bugs wherever we're at are going to fuck me up. That's your downfall. The bugs are too much for me.
Speaker 4:That's why we don't keep you around.
Speaker 3:I literally wouldn't be able to move. I'd have so many fucking.
Speaker 2:We'd hide inside your corpse.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like the Revenant, just get inside the bear's body.
Speaker 4:If there was a bear that popped up on us, do you think you would take him, Kyle?
Speaker 3:Fuck, no Hell. No Bears are gnarly and that's fucked up too, because you can't. You don't have to run the fastest, you just can't run the slowest, and I think I might run the slowest.
Speaker 4:You would push someone down, whoever was next to you.
Speaker 3:I feel like I could get you no way In a foot race.
Speaker 2:Really no.
Speaker 3:Eric, actually I don't know. Eric got long legs, but he's more distance runner.
Speaker 4:I don't know his I think that we would be pretty close, but I think I'll smoke both of you.
Speaker 3:No, you would not I think ryan would have you, ryan probably.
Speaker 1:No, I'm going eric one, me two, you three, then kyle four. Damn damn, you put me three, I'm putting you three, I'm, yes, I'm gonna outrun you, buddy see, but eric's got the gas tank.
Speaker 3:He'll go the farthest. Yeah, I'm gonna. You'll beat us off the line and then I'm done like like two minutes later. Yeah.
Speaker 4:You'll see a butterfly and you'll just go the other way. I'm not that fucking retarded, Carlos, all right.
Speaker 1:So you kind of are. No, when the fuck have I ever talked to you about butterflies?
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we're going down. If we get stranded anywhere, where will we be stranded? Jamaica?
Speaker 1:Not in the desert.
Speaker 2:You're not stranded in jamaica at the four seasons, we're just sipping on rum runners.
Speaker 3:We're stranded, dude. But if you think about it, it has to be like a jungly and it can't be. The desert cannot be like snow like a deserted island what if it's like a lost?
Speaker 1:situation. Yeah, it would have to be something like that like some castaway shit.
Speaker 3:Nobody's fucking surviving in the desert. No, nobody's surviving in the fucking even that one show alone where they go into the Antarctic. But they get to bring like 10 things like naked and afraid. They only brought one one thing.
Speaker 4:It's cold as fuck up there. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:So they give them 10 things Each of them can bring to survive up there in a cold. We would bring to survive up there in the cold. We would have to get dropped. Yeah, it'd have to be a like a deserted island type shit with some trees.
Speaker 4:So is this gonna be set up or is this like just an accident?
Speaker 3:we could set it up. We could go out into the fucking in the woods, the marshlands shoot. We can go back to my hometown and we can.
Speaker 4:We can be fucking.
Speaker 2:No, I in the woods in the woods, bro an hour later we cut to it. We're at the bar we couldn't do it.
Speaker 3:That is so funny, those like you get those uh bear grills. What was his old show? Oh, yeah, yeah and you can literally find like clips of him acting like it's a big cliff that he has to get over and there's just a highway right behind it. Like it's barely anything. He's just drinking his own piss out of a snake skin. What did you do naked in a fray, kyle? It would have to be somewhere with no bugs, dude, I would fucking.
Speaker 1:That shit is gross when they're showing them with the bug bites and they're getting woken up in the middle. It's fucking nasty. All you they're getting, oh it's fucking nasty.
Speaker 3:And all you do most of the time is just lay around because you're too hungry and thirsty to move. You have no energy. Yeah, can I bring my Switch? No, no, that's fucked. Why could you bring your Switch? I don't know. No, no, I wouldn't be able to survive. I'd definitely be able to survive, like me and Eric, I think, are pretty tied with not being able to like having nothing. I feel, like well, like any, like distractions, any, anything like that. I think I could do pretty well. So who would die?
Speaker 1:first right why I knew that was coming why?
Speaker 4:because you're the skinniest one turn gay first.
Speaker 2:What? What the fuck is?
Speaker 4:this you're like cop, cop cop you'd be.
Speaker 3:You're like the guy, you're like the snaky guy on survivor, where you're like trying to get in with everybody, you just like you just walk up with a piece of beef jerking, but hey man, they were talking shit about you.
Speaker 4:Yeah, you're like trying to get in with everybody. He just like he just walk up with a piece of beef, jerking. But hey, man, they were talking shit about you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you try to separate us and shit yeah really, eric really did that, and then he'd side with whoever came out on top. Damn survivor was fucking sick back in the day. You find an immunity and try to hide it from everybody else.
Speaker 2:That show is good. I just started watching it.
Speaker 4:It's good From season one.
Speaker 2:No, like the.
Speaker 3:Dude, they're on like fucking season 30 or something.
Speaker 4:Oh, they've been going on for a while. It's like early 2000s.
Speaker 3:I know I get you brought up Lost. I get that.
Speaker 2:I look like that big fat dude from Lost a lot. You're not that big.
Speaker 3:I'm not that big. But people say, when I had long hair, people say I looked like you, look like Hugo Hugo. Yeah, yeah, he survived a long time, he did did he die?
Speaker 4:spoiler alert I'm not gonna say it. I'm not gonna say it. Lost has been out for fucking 12 years, but if you haven't watched it. You truly do not know what you're not watching. Who gives a fuck?
Speaker 3:You never seen Lost I never seen it either. It was bullshit at the end, that's what I heard.
Speaker 2:That's why I didn't watch it.
Speaker 3:It was good as fuck at the beginning it didn't make sense. They found like a vault in the ground and shit. It started getting like weird.
Speaker 4:Oh, it definitely got weird. It started out being like a they like crash survival, they were lost, but they were actually dead the whole time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they found heaven, dude. They fucking what copped out.
Speaker 4:Those riders can suck my fat fucking dick well, because they were they said they were trying to hide it and then like it was a, it's a big fucking and made it, made everybody was dead the entire fucking time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, everybody died in the crash, they already died died. The beginning, the first episode.
Speaker 4:they were dead, so the entire show meant was nothing. It meant nothing. It was a waste of time.
Speaker 3:It was literally how movies make it like a dream segment. That's real.
Speaker 4:It was a dream the entire time, and then, at the very end, they just go to a fucking dream. That should be the title of this pod.
Speaker 3:Spoiler alert that's just lazy fucking bullshit writing. I hate that. You know what you do. Got to watch the.
Speaker 2:Bear.
Speaker 4:I've seen the Bear. I haven't seen the newest episode this season, but Bear's pretty good.
Speaker 2:It's really good. I like it a lot. The writing's in there good. It's got a good sound.
Speaker 1:It's got a good sound. What do you watch, dude? What have I been watching? Yeah, a lot of casino videos, jesus man, you're like a middle-aged woman, you're going to court on Tuesday.
Speaker 2:Huh, you're going to court on.
Speaker 1:Tuesday. I know, I know, I just want to hit big dude, go big or go home. I just want to hit big man.
Speaker 3:Yeah, carter's going to be. Just turn your fucking mic off. I got him, yeah, but you wouldn't have to mute him unless he, if he just turned his fucking mic off.
Speaker 1:God damn, he has the bladder of a fucking 5 year old Every time.
Speaker 3:But yeah, that's, I just watched the Boys. I watched a new episode of the Boys and Furiosa. You seen Furiosa, yet Fucking sick.
Speaker 1:No, I haven't been on Hulu, netflix Prime, nothing like that. I just went on YouTube, hmm.
Speaker 3:Watching.
Speaker 1:Casino Strategy? No, not Casino Strategy at all. I'm just watching these motherfuckers Win so much money and I'm just sitting there Fucking getting pissed. It could be you, it could be me Playing what they're all on the slot machines.
Speaker 3:Why do you love the?
Speaker 1:slots so much.
Speaker 3:I don't know. You know how much capital you have to go in with To win at slots.
Speaker 1:I told you that dude put $120,000 Into one slot machine and he cashed out like almost $200,000. You're bound to win.
Speaker 3:But it's $120,000. That's what I'm saying. You're not fucking winning shit on penny slots, or fucking $0. That's what I'm saying. You're not fucking winning shit on penny slots, or fucking 10 cent slots?
Speaker 1:No, no, it's fucking impossible. They don't even have those in Florida. It's a dollar minimum.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's fucking impossible. And if it's a dollar minimum you have to be betting like $20 every fucking spin. Yeah, grab me one, carlos.
Speaker 2:I have been wanting to go. I want to go to the fucking casino.
Speaker 3:But I want to go too. I want to fucking get back on my roulette bullshit, Dude.
Speaker 1:That's what I hit the most on last time was fucking roulette.
Speaker 3:I told you that's all Remember when we went with our coworker. We, fucking we walked around and watched you lose half your money on slots.
Speaker 1:I'm going to.
Speaker 3:I'm going to the roulette and I was there.
Speaker 1:I sat there with you for like 20, 30 minutes too, and is doing weighing up a little bit.
Speaker 3:I was there the entire time I was there for fucking like three hours. Yeah, I mean last time me and eric went, I fucking put 80 dollars in the walk. Yeah, what did I? 590?
Speaker 4:I had 40, I put in 20, lost that, put in my second 20 and then came up like to 180 or 200 or something like that these casinos are definitely rigged, though oh, like a motherfucker, the casino in your hometown is fucked yeah, dude, like if you go often they put you on a card so that you can get like deals and discounts and stuff. But they just track what you're playing and like how much you're making and stuff, and they can adjust, you know the machine based off of that.
Speaker 4:Yeah, the amount of fucking Someone's watching all the time, oh yeah.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, watch fucking man. I mean, that movie is so fucking good. Great fucking movie, yeah, but this is real life. It's real. There's people. Yeah, and that was back in the fucking day dude imagine how high tech that shit is now like the algorithm for um, like being able to oh, for sure yeah, dude, they just run it all the fucking ai like.
Speaker 4:I'll tell you this. We were at the casino one time. I was 21 and my wife was not. She was only 20, so I was playing the slot and and she sat down for me as I went to go get a drink. And I came back and they kicked her out of the hotel because she wasn't, or the casino because she wasn't of age.
Speaker 3:That's funny. You can't step on that carpet if you're under 21.
Speaker 4:No, no, no, you can't.
Speaker 3:But I thought you could gamble when you're uh you have to be 21 to gamble.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it used to be 18, you used to be 18 but you have to be 21 I think they did the same thing with the nicotine laws. It went the same yeah, the same thing, yeah, can you buy scratch off, so you're 18, or do you have to be 21?
Speaker 4:so, yeah, you can, I think, when you're 18 no, I don't think I don't think so. Everything is 21 now oh shit, because they they had even face id, because my mom would go all the time during COVID and she would take off her mask so they can like scan her face and like take her temperature to make sure that she wasn't like oh yeah, that was that COVID shit.
Speaker 3:They had that at Amazon. Oh yeah, I'm sure. Every door, like the front door. You walked in, you had somebody sitting there with like the thermometer, like the big the spot on one. Yeah, yeah, from like you just stand like six feet away. Yeah, they scan your whole shit and then tell you if you're good.
Speaker 1:What was that whole six feet bullshit? I never understood that.
Speaker 3:It was all a lie, man fauci you can, but it's great you can on youtube here we go again with this shit, conspiracy you can still get hit for fucking. Have a covid banner on your youtube for covid misinformation still. What if you just talk about it and fauci invented aids?
Speaker 1:I did hear about that, yeah. Fauci invented AIDS Think of how many people that fucker killed.
Speaker 3:He was the one doing all the tests on those fucking border collies, all those dogs I don't know if they were border collies or boxers.
Speaker 4:Literally dogs.
Speaker 3:Dogs. That's fucked. He was killing dogs.
Speaker 4:Anthony Fauci.
Speaker 3:That's fucked. I think he's even admitted that that six foot thing was bullshit.
Speaker 1:Oh for sure it didn't mean anything. I never understood what the fuck that meant, because they did the whole little foot circle thing.
Speaker 3:It is funny how fast everybody moved on. But you think back, it was so weird, dude, I worked. The grocery stores. You could only go one way through the lane. Fuck you, I was going. I forgot.
Speaker 4:Yeah, they did have that you could through lane.
Speaker 3:fuck you I was going, I forgot. Yeah, they did have that. You can only walk that some places still on the ground you can see this. You know what I would do of where to stand I'd walk in reverse oh, that's nice that way they say moonwalk you can walk down. The fucker mj would have been good. I'm going here.
Speaker 4:Michael jackson would have been fucking good dude, I worked in retail at the time during that. Like I remember, I was one of the last stores in the mall during COVID, like there's no one Is that one shut down that mall was COVID. Everything shut down that mall. That mall stinks. That was COVID.
Speaker 1:It stinks, dude. Yeah, it smells like shit. It's hot as fuck in there. It smells like ass.
Speaker 4:It was popping oh yeah they used to be the mall but, covid, just covid did murder yeah, dude, it was bad.
Speaker 4:Like I remember I would wear a mask because that was like the mandate, so wearing a mask, and people walk in and I'm like you gotta wear a mask. It was like the worst thing to tell people, yeah, because he's just gonna get mad. I'm like, oh, got to wear a mask. It was like the worst thing to tell people, yeah because you're just going to get mad. I'm like oh, I got to wear a mask In Colorado.
Speaker 1:how many days of lockdown did y'all have, Like the mandatory lockdown?
Speaker 4:Were you in Colorado during that time. All of it, yeah.
Speaker 2:Because what was ours, I do remember it was a while, even it was like months. I don't know if you guys had any siblings I had the.
Speaker 1:I was doing the roof and I had the, the pass or whatever it was the essential worker thing or whatever it was.
Speaker 3:So I was working, but it was like that for a long time, but I had the amazon, the essential worker for amazon yeah yeah, yeah. So mine, I was working the whole time so I didn't like really feel like the lockdown. But yeah, my, my younger sister, she was, they missed out on school, her graduate. Oh yeah, she graduated the year.
Speaker 4:COVID shut everything down. Yeah, my niece did too, and it was bad.
Speaker 3:Her entire senior year was like, or the second half of it was all Zoom.
Speaker 1:And then, yeah, they did, they had graduation, there was graduation, but Y'all didn't have a mandated lockdown or nothing like that, to where you can't leave. I think we did. Those were the best two weeks of my life. I'm chilling.
Speaker 4:I just had no money.
Speaker 3:I was working the whole time so I didn't really feel it, but it was locked down like that Stores would close at 9 pm. Dude, do you remember Bro?
Speaker 2:is that, what did Walmart? Yeah, walmart.
Speaker 4:Walmart used to be 24 hours. It used to be 24 hours, that was the best dude.
Speaker 1:It was the fucking best bro.
Speaker 3:That's where I would go after fucking working at Amazon, I'd get off at 4.45 am. I'd go and pick up my cop syrup, my NyQuil. I'd go pick up my NyQuil From the same Fucking security guard Sitting there. He's like You're sick a lot.
Speaker 1:Dude, the only thing that sucked about In Daytona Was they shut the beaches down. Yeah, that would Fucking blow. They shut the beaches down For like six weeks, bro.
Speaker 2:They were throwing Like sand in Like fucking skate parks.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they were filling up the skate parks and all that shit too.
Speaker 4:Yeah, being outside Because.
Speaker 1:I got kicked off the beach during COVID when they opened it back up, because they said you couldn't like when we go to the beach we just sit there and chill. Whatever it is, you have to be active walking, working out or swimming or doing whatever you do. I got kicked off the beach for throwing a football on the beach. Jesus, dude, that's so funny you talking.
Speaker 3:But yeah, fucking Walmart's not. Yeah, they close at 11 now Someplace. They close at 11 now. Some places are 10. They used to be Fucking 24 hours. I used to be walking To.
Speaker 1:Walmart like 3am 2.30 3am, best time. Hell yeah, we used to be like We'll board. We'll be like let's go walk around Walmart.
Speaker 3:All the fucking Stockers were just Out there. They got the pallets On the floor. He was walking around Just shooting Basketballs.
Speaker 2:Hell yeah, bro. Are they ever going to go back to 24 hours? I don't think so.
Speaker 3:Not anymore. Now, nowhere is 24 hours.
Speaker 2:No labor Nowhere.
Speaker 3:Well, hopefully we get a good president here soon. What's that supposed to mean?
Speaker 1:What's a good president to you, Mr Liberal?
Speaker 3:Me, oh Liberal Cuck Eric.
Speaker 2:Yep, what do you mean, damn?
Speaker 4:way off getting on his ass.
Speaker 2:I don't know what makes you say that.
Speaker 1:Who'd you vote for in the 2020 election?
Speaker 2:Biden. Why, what do you mean? Vote what has? Well, I don't even want to get into it yeah, no, I don't think we should.
Speaker 1:I don't think we should. I voted for Donald J Trump, baby Of course you would Hell yeah brother, what's your IQ good?
Speaker 2:76.
Speaker 3:You can lick my fucking nard sack.
Speaker 1:Shut up, dude. You wish, buddy, you can lick my taint.
Speaker 2:No one's, such as you. You never released the emails.
Speaker 4:You never did. You said you were what's your score?
Speaker 3:Oh, I don't know.
Speaker 4:What if you and Ryan scored the same? What emails?
Speaker 3:My IQ score. Oh, you pay for it. I didn't. That's what they're saying. You gotta release them. Release the tapes. We should have a debate. What is the debate gonna be on? I'll tell you what TBD we're gonna do a CNN sanctioned debate.
Speaker 1:You look at me some weird fucking way, I don't wanna hear it.
Speaker 3:Me and Carlos debate immigration.
Speaker 4:I'm on your side.
Speaker 3:It is so funny. I swear to God I wouldn't debate on anything against any of you in this room right now. Wait, like what? Wait anything? No Obesity in America, Swear to God. Well, I'll argue that till I die. I don't even know shit about fucking politics and all I love arguing.
Speaker 4:So Kyle for president, I'm going to win. Is that what you're saying? How do you become the president, kyle? How can we get you to be the president of america?
Speaker 3:this is. I don't think I would be I mean after a couple episodes of this I don't think I would ever people might agree they might.
Speaker 1:It's either you have to marry a dude or suck a dick I guess to be president yeah, look at.
Speaker 4:You can say that with everything Big Don, big Don Trump.
Speaker 3:Be the first outly gay president, you gay, hello, no, I'm just fucking Fuck off Ron. I'm not fucking gay he kind of got you there. I'm not fucking gay.
Speaker 4:I swear I'm not gay.
Speaker 3:I love the lord. No, I give me a fuck. Eric, throw out a topic right now. I'll debate both of them abortion. But it has to be. Yeah, I feel like we agree on a lot of stuff you probably agree with. Like you're like my body, my choice, of course. Yeah, I knew that. Like my body, my choice, of course.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I knew that.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, I let the intrusive thoughts take over. I'm sorry.
Speaker 4:You want me to trust a guy that can't even pronounce his R's?
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, sorry, my bad.
Speaker 4:My bad. You don't believe that your body, your choice.
Speaker 1:No, not for women. Not for abortion. No, not one bit. Why cause? I put the seed in her. That's my decision too. That's my seed, that's true. Do you have to give birth?
Speaker 3:she can't.
Speaker 1:I hate that fucking argument she can't give birth unless I put my seed into her have you guys ever witnessed birth? I don't want. Yes, I have. I watched a video of it. It was fucked up. I almost threw up.
Speaker 2:Exactly, I guarantee you guys, you guys would not get an abortion. Yes, I would no.
Speaker 4:Yes, I would If you got pregnant, you would not get an abortion. I don't know.
Speaker 3:I think Ryan absolutely would 100,000% thousand percent. So if you, you were pregnant, the only thing that would hold him back was it would be too expensive.
Speaker 4:No, look at my life insurance look at my life right now.
Speaker 1:You think I can afford a little I'm not saying you can so.
Speaker 4:So that's that's the argument, then, that you do support abortion. I yeah, yeah, all right, that's the opposite of what you just trump was saying.
Speaker 3:I don't even know what Trump was saying I didn't say exactly my body, my choice is they can fucking have an abortion.
Speaker 4:My body, my choice is Democrat, so you're on my team, no Trump left it up to the states.
Speaker 2:You're behind enemy lines.
Speaker 3:Trump left it up to the states to decide what to do. Why would that be a state decision? The conservative side is they're murderers, they're killing innocent babies, because they're aborting babies, but they're not Nice.
Speaker 4:That's the point. So you're saying that you're a.
Speaker 3:Democrat. You're a Democrat. Maybe you're liberal In the middle. I'm not a liberal. You're just like me. No, I am not, Because Trump was like you can take it up to nine months and you baby out of the mother's belly.
Speaker 4:Because democrats are trying to have that passed.
Speaker 3:That's what they're saying wait, democrats want to have nine like third trimester abortions this is trump saying this is no no, I agree with like six weeks.
Speaker 4:Okay then you're a democrat, that you can get an abortion up to six weeks is republican.
Speaker 1:No abortion at all. Yes, okay, I don't agree with that at all.
Speaker 3:Get the fuck out of here, because just you would want.
Speaker 1:I would want one.
Speaker 4:If you get a bitch pregnant, you want her to get an abortion.
Speaker 1:Depending on the situation. I mean, if this is a good situation, then no, but if it's a bad situation, fuck yeah.
Speaker 4:Democrats don't believe that abortions we don't have to do an abortion.
Speaker 1:They make stares for a reason.
Speaker 2:Whoa I a reason?
Speaker 3:well, I'm just saying you're contradicting what you're saying and that's all right.
Speaker 1:I'm not baseball baseball bats aren't just made for baseball. Why are you so in your feelings about? Damn no, this is actually what I wanted is this what we were starting to talk about? Ryan and carlos got some beef right now let's hear why do me and carlos have beef?
Speaker 2:I don't think y'all have beef.
Speaker 4:Y'all just come on, carlos, because I agree abortions my, my choice. They can decide if they want to have an abortion or not, right? That's not what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3:I know, but you had said something about Ryan on the podcast and I'd like to hear about that.
Speaker 4:What'd you say what did I say this guy? I just like to hear what you said I think that you just want us to argue so you can get off.
Speaker 1:Kyle says he loves to argue, but he doesn't want to argue with me.
Speaker 4:He makes people argue against each other.
Speaker 3:I like to hear it. No, I just think what both of you are saying is fucking dumb. Why, to be honest, why Whatever you're saying is fucking dumb, why? Because everything you said is fucking dumb. No, it is not give me.
Speaker 4:It sounds like it's about to turn into an argument between you and Ryan give me something.
Speaker 3:Don't they all give me something of substance right now? What do you mean? Give me something to talk about? What?
Speaker 1:do you want to talk about?
Speaker 3:are you hearing what I'm hearing? Give me something abortion I don't even. Can you even fucking talk about abortion like that? Probably not. That's not off limits anymore. I have no idea. That's not off.
Speaker 1:We'll cut that part out, but we don't have pussies, so can't talk like that that's where you can relate Me and Ryan.
Speaker 4:Are you getting pussed?
Speaker 1:When are you?
Speaker 2:guys getting a girl.
Speaker 1:I said, oh my, you heard me completely. I said we don't have pussies.
Speaker 4:Oh, I thought you said you weren't getting pussy Something. I'm bad, I miss all right, both are true.
Speaker 1:Both are true. Both are true, but I also and Kyle will agree with me 100% on this you have been with your wife for like 12 years you're like 7 years, okay, so Ryan's getting off topic again.
Speaker 4:No, I'm not. No, I'm not. What does?
Speaker 2:that have to do with anything.
Speaker 1:Kyle, please pick up what I'm putting down. You know what I'm getting to. You know what I'm getting to.
Speaker 3:Don't hand it off to me, I want to hear it, I want to hear it don't.
Speaker 4:Where were you going with that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, do you want me to hit you in the heart, because I know exactly where you're going with it, but I'm not going to say it. Do you want me to hit you in the heart? I want you to. I want to Hit him. You guys have only been with one girl your entire life.
Speaker 4:One girl yeah, but how does that pertain to what we were talking about?
Speaker 1:Because you can't, you cannot ask me. You're getting my fucking brain going too fast right now. The gears are turning. But the word Dude. I'm fucking retarded today.
Speaker 4:The words are just not. I am flustered right now, very fucking flustered. We can move on. We can move on.
Speaker 3:That's fine. I mean, I'll pick up what you were laying down, obviously. So you say they've been with one woman, they've been together, they've both had relationships for a long time, long time, you say. You're saying it's different now. It's not as easy to get pussy when you're not in fucking elementary school or middle school or high school or high school, when you're stuck with somebody every day we're talking about abortion you keep wanting to talk about why, do you want to talk about?
Speaker 1:abortion so bad? No, boy, no, you're the one.
Speaker 4:All right, it's me, it's me.
Speaker 1:See, that's the difference. See abortion with you and your wife.
Speaker 3:I would not agree with you guys. Yeah, you have a kid, obviously you're Exactly. I would not agree, I would not agree with you guys getting an abortion.
Speaker 4:What would happen if wow, nothing good. Nothing good but her body, her choice of bianca decided she did, then she did.
Speaker 3:Damn. That's brutal man I feel like that's facts, that's sure.
Speaker 4:That's straight facts let's just say like this like she felt like she couldn't do it, like, oh, like, and then she gave birth and what has she done? Like if she was like against it. You know, it's all about the mindset. You're going to a dark place.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that about the mindset You're going to a dark place right now. Yeah, that is a dark place. You're going to a dark place, Yo what?
Speaker 4:the fuck are you doing? You have to be in the right set of mind, in my opinion.
Speaker 2:God damn, Sometimes you gotta get serious. Man Say something funny Fuck.
Speaker 1:Carlos is being a real. I'm a man's man. No, you're not. You have been in a house of females For a year and a half.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you only live with females. That's your problem. You can't be a fucking dude and only be around females, don't? You guys Are dudes around no females.
Speaker 1:To each his own. To each his own, my friend Fucker. Are you guys more manly than me? Because you don't have females around. What do you mean? To each his own? To each his own, my friend fucker are you guys more manly than me?
Speaker 4:because you don't have females around for sure?
Speaker 3:for sure, not just because of that reason, for many, many reasons because you're a dog, because, yeah, because I like to fucking eat.
Speaker 2:Well, not just food, if you know what I mean tell Ryan to agree.
Speaker 4:When was the last time you ate?
Speaker 3:what was the last?
Speaker 4:time you ate. What was the last time? When was the last?
Speaker 3:time I ate? Yeah, shit, I ate just now. Fucking schooling you bitches.
Speaker 4:Why are you looking at Ryan talking about you? Just ate just now. Ryan's looking back. He looked at you too. Ryan's looking back. Ryan's like hell, yeah, you ate.
Speaker 1:How good did you eat, ryan? Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here.
Speaker 2:How did it smell I?
Speaker 4:don't fucking know. Yeah, you wouldn't. Kyle would.
Speaker 3:Eric, how's your, how's your relationship, how's your home life? Let's get into you a little bit. I don't think many of the people know you very well. Well, this might be on the fucking tail end of this podcast. Maybe we talk about it on the next one.
Speaker 4:Yeah, should we save that for the next?
Speaker 3:one. Yeah, we can save that. Well, what time we at 102 god damn, we have been chatting.
Speaker 4:It's been a while it's been a while.
Speaker 3:It has been a while you guys fucking. You went on a weird tear there.
Speaker 1:At the end, though, I didn't know you felt you got so butthurt about abortion I was just trying to plead my case butthurt, about abortion.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that was yeah was that I think. No, I won't bring it up, but was that a conversation? Obviously, you got to think about it when you get pregnant for the first time.
Speaker 4:No, it wasn't like a conversation, but it was just a part of the debate and I'm like I don't agree with any of these motherfuckers. Well, that's because you've had a kid. Yeah, it's your body, your choice, as you.
Speaker 3:Ryan lead us off with a prayer I'd like to fucking kill.
Speaker 1:You'd like to kill Jesus Christ man.
Speaker 4:Well, it was good, it was a good pod back. Right, we're all back, we're all back.
Speaker 3:The boys are back in town. What are we even at, eric? How many listeners.
Speaker 4:How many downloads? What is going on? I have no idea.
Speaker 3:Who cares anymore, man.
Speaker 2:I did see someone from Japan.
Speaker 4:You saw a Japan A Japanese. You saw Japan A Japanese. Was it a chick or was it a dude?
Speaker 3:It was funny. I did see a comment on YouTube and it was like fuck, I can't remember what it said. He said something about like a topic we were talking about. He was like I agree with them. Then the next comment he said nevermind, just listen to the pod, just listen to the full thing. Just listen to it.
Speaker 4:Nevermind, that's crazy. I was curious. I was like damn, we haven't checked like the numbers in a while or anything like that.
Speaker 2:No, it is what it is. You live and you learn.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it'll be what it is. Fuck them. We'll be surprised on Monday.
Speaker 3:Fuck them. Yeah Well, Brian, take us out of here. That's a little prayer Send us to the fucking moon.
Speaker 2:You might go to jail on Tuesday.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to jail.
Speaker 2:Stop fucking putting that hex on me Last pod with Ryan Put a good something on there.
Speaker 1:I'm going to the slammer fellas. I'm going to the slammer.
Speaker 3:Tied up, tied up, if this is his last appearance, tied up, nice with a little bow.
Speaker 1:You'll like jail. If I go to jail, look me up, send me some money, we'll tell you.
Speaker 4:He needs some commerce there.
Speaker 1:I need some commerce, I need some soups. How?
Speaker 2:much is it to a phone call. Can you do hourly?
Speaker 1:It's probably like a dollar, you could probably do the part from jail. No, I told my boys in prison he needs to call one of these Fridays so we can get him on here, oh yeah, Get a corrections call.
Speaker 2:Who's going to pay for that Me?
Speaker 1:It's like fucking $4.
Speaker 3:I don't know if they pay for it to call you.
Speaker 1:No, I have to pay for it. Oh what the fuck.
Speaker 4:They ask like would you like to take this collect call?
Speaker 1:Take this, collect. Call for 13 cents an hour From Wine Davis.
Speaker 4:Take us out Ryan.
Speaker 1:Well, welcome back to the newest lows, carlos, still fat.
Speaker 3:Well, no, not welcome back, Goodbye.
Speaker 1:We're done.
Speaker 4:This is it.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, you guys are fucking flustering me right now. This is fucked. I'm all over the fucking place.
Speaker 2:Well, go ahead. A last two seconds. It's a send out dude.
Speaker 4:It's a send out, we're done, we're done.
Speaker 2:Goodbye, anything you want to leave the people no.
Speaker 1:No, you guys have put me on the spot. This is fucked. Newest Lowe's that's a podcast, that's a cast right there. Thank you guys, goodbye, bye.